Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Dr. Nekeshia Hammond
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000169A
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00:01 How can we maintain an emotionally healthy family?
00:03 Stay tuned to listen in on my conversation 00:06 with an award-winning Psychologist. 00:08 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:09 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:35 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:37 My guest today is Dr. Nekeshia Hammond 00:40 winner of the American Psychological Association's 00:42 2015 Early Career Achievement Award 00:46 and the Florida Psychological Association's 2014 00:50 "What a Woman!" award. 00:51 In 2014, Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine gave her the 00:56 Extraordinary Woman Award. 00:59 Welcome to Urban Report Dr. Hammond. 01:01 Hello... 01:03 Yeah... we're so happy to have you, what a blessing. 01:06 Thanks for having me. 01:08 Sure, sure, so, before we get started 01:11 into your work, 01:14 let's hear a little bit about your journey 01:16 because, everybody has a journey 01:19 and so you won all of these awards, 01:22 you have done so much at such a young age, 01:26 if I may say so, 01:28 during your life, what have been 01:31 the primary focuses of your journey? 01:34 I would say... when I was seven years old, 01:37 I knew that I wanted to be a doctor 01:40 and I've always had a passion to work with children 01:43 and the older I've gotten, I've just realized that 01:47 the Community can have such an impact 01:49 and positive influence in the life of children 01:52 and it's so incredibly important in making them 01:55 very successful and productive at all 01:57 so it's been a very exciting journey 02:00 and I'm grateful to work with children and families. 02:04 Yes and how long have you been doing it? 02:06 So, this month makes seven years. 02:09 Wow! that's God's perfect number, right? Seven... 02:12 Yes... 02:14 So that is incredible and it seems to me, 02:16 based on all the awards and the accolades 02:19 that you've gotten, you're loving what you're doing. 02:22 Absolutely. 02:24 Tell us what you do with children. 02:27 So, currently, I've done different things along the years 02:31 currently, I specialize in doing evaluations for children 02:35 and adults but primarily children 02:38 and that can be just seeing if they have 02:41 ADHD or Learning Disorder, Depression, Anxiety 02:44 or just really finding out what is going on with them 02:47 because we know... once we know what it is, 02:50 then we can better prescribe 02:52 what the treatment should be for them. 02:53 Yes, what has been the Community's reaction 02:58 to your services, in general, the African American Community? 03:04 So our office does a couple of different things 03:07 as you mentioned... or as I mentioned earlier, 03:09 I do, specifically, evaluations, we also have therapy here 03:14 one of the difficulties though with the Therapy piece is that 03:18 there is a stigma 03:19 particularly in the African American Community 03:22 of getting therapy for mental health issues. 03:25 Why do you think that is? 03:26 I think because... there is that long-standing belief 03:31 that you keep it in the family 03:33 or you only go to church with your problems, 03:36 which I definitely... I'm an advocate that 03:38 I think that's a great resource... one resource 03:42 but sometimes you need a really 03:45 specifically-trained individual in mental health services 03:49 when the issues are so intense and we see, unfortunately 03:53 a lot of conflict in families 03:55 and there's everything that we see on the news and in the media 03:58 so it's really important to receive 04:00 that mental health treatment. 04:02 Absolutely, I think it's such a misconception 04:05 to think that God only works in one way, 04:08 He works through people... you know... 04:11 He works through trained people, 04:13 He works supernaturally, of course, 04:16 but we can put God in a box and think that, 04:19 "Well, if I go over here to get help, 04:21 that means my faith is weak 04:23 or that means I'm not a good Christian or whatever... 04:26 No, you have to get help from the right person 04:30 because, of course, sometimes there is advice 04:34 that is not necessarily... 04:36 it doesn't go well with your belief system 04:42 so you have to make sure that it's not conflicting. 04:44 However, God will work through people to accomplish His goals. 04:49 So, I think it is a misconception that, you know, 04:53 "Well, I'm a Christian, all I have to do... is pray," 04:56 no, pray... but ask God to lead you 04:59 also to the right person to help 05:02 because He works through people as well. 05:04 So, at the center of it... you work 05:07 and you offer diagnosis and treatment to children. 05:12 What are some of the cases, 05:14 walk us through a couple of cases of children 05:18 that you've been able to help through your service. 05:21 So, specifically, well unfortunately 05:24 what I'm seeing a lot of now... every week, what I'm seeing 05:27 is that there is a huge issue 05:30 in terms of education and as far as learning 05:33 and as far as learning disorders. 05:36 So, unfortunately, many children... 05:39 what's happening in school system is 05:41 they're being labeled as "a behavior problem" 05:43 or they're "lazy" 05:45 or they just don't feel like doing their work, 05:47 but really... or they're not smart, 05:49 but really when I do testing with them, 05:51 I'm finding their IQs are fine, and they are able to learn, 05:55 it's just that they may have a learning disorder 05:57 that hasn't even been addressed as yet. 05:59 So once that's addressed it changes... 06:01 potentially, the life of this child. 06:04 Yes, oh my goodness! 06:06 You know, one of my favorite interviews here 06:09 was Marco Clark, who, himself, had a learning disorder 06:15 and he didn't know it 06:17 and he was labeled a functional illiterate 06:20 and went on to become Dr. Marco Clark 06:23 and I'm sure you know who he is 06:25 and I'm just... so many children are mislabeled 06:29 and thought... they think that they're dumb, 06:33 they think that they can't achieve... 06:36 and these are bright children who have a learning disability 06:40 it's such a tragedy because like you said, 06:45 their whole lives are affected by the mislabeling... 06:49 their lives are affected. 06:50 Their lives are very much affected 06:52 and I've seen also which is downright disturbing 06:55 is that I had... actually last week 06:58 there was a child... she was in third grade, 07:00 she repeated 2nd grade 07:02 and now they're thinking of her repeating again 07:04 in third grade, and it's like... 07:06 by the time you're in fifth grade... you're 13-years-old, 07:09 obviously it's going to impact you... 07:12 you're probably not going to graduate from high school 07:15 and then there is a whole slew of other statistics 07:18 so it's just so disturbing that the answer is, 07:21 "Well, we don't know what's wrong with them, 07:23 just repeat the grade... " 07:24 well you repeat so many grades 07:26 and now you're looking at other issues. 07:28 Absolutely, where does your self-esteem go? 07:30 If you have repeated a grade 07:33 and then you repeat the next grade 07:35 and then... you have no self-esteem 07:37 you feel like a failure already, 07:39 you haven't even gotten out of elementary school almost... 07:41 and you feel like a failure, I mean, it's... 07:44 it is such a tragedy 07:46 and I feel like our kids are thrown into 07:48 Special Ed and they're not getting... in many cases... 07:54 they're not getting the education that they need 07:56 because they're always labeled as behavior problems or "dumb" 08:01 and it becomes... as you said, 08:04 it brings forth other problems on top of that, 08:08 so now... now you have a cascade 08:10 of problems with these children and... let's talk about 08:15 the violence and how violence affects our children. 08:20 Violence has... I mean 08:23 there are plenty of research studies to show 08:26 how negatively violence can impact children, 08:29 whether it is violence in the home... domestic violence, 08:32 whether it is witnessing violence in their Communities, 08:36 and it is so sad to say that there are some children, 08:40 they witness so much violence by the time they're ten years' old 08:44 more than most adults would even see 08:46 and it becomes the norm and it's scary 08:49 so walking over a dead body, witnessing someone get raped, 08:52 witnessing... hearing bullets... 08:55 that's... that's normal 08:56 and it's not normal... it shouldn't be normal 08:58 but it's normal to them so, later on... 09:01 Middle School, High School, 09:03 when you're trying to feel like... 09:04 you're trying to protect yourself 09:06 of course you're going to bring a gun to school, 09:07 of course you're going to pick fights, 09:09 of course, then at least you do Juvenile Detention 09:11 and all these other negative things 09:12 so again, the same thing, 09:14 there's a snowball effect and it's awful 09:16 and one of the issues is because 09:18 no one is speaking with these children 09:20 about what they're seeing, it's just... you see it... 09:23 come on inside, let's have dinner... no... 09:26 Exactly, exactly... I wrote an article recently 09:31 for our 3abn World Magazine about PTSD and children 09:37 and one of the statistics 09:40 that I read was 30 percent of our 09:42 inner-city adolescents and kids 09:46 have from mild to severe PTSD 09:49 because they're in a combat zone 09:52 and the difference between soldiers and our kids 09:55 is that soldiers get to leave, our children don't get to leave 09:59 so they're in that combat zone 10:01 every day... watching... people get raped as you said, 10:05 beat up, stabbed, shot, stepping over dead bodies, 10:08 I mean... it's something that... is unfathomable 10:11 for most of us, we've never lived like that 10:14 so we can't relate to that, 10:16 but these children are in a "war zone" every day 10:20 and it's just impacting them. 10:22 They are... they are in a war zone 10:24 and then as you mentioned before 10:26 that violence... it leads to even more violence 10:28 and now you're repeating a cycle and then, we know that 10:31 for African American youth in particular... males... 10:35 the number one killer is homicide 10:37 it's like well... 10:39 Yes, yes, so what do... it's kind of like... okay... 10:45 what do we do now for our children 10:49 that are beset by this violence 10:52 because... how can we give them strategies 10:57 to cope and to deal with what they're seeing everyday? 11:01 One of the major things... 11:04 whomever it is in that child's life 11:06 whether it be the parent, 11:07 if it's grandma, aunt, uncle, neighbor... whoever... 11:11 someone has to be in charge of making sure they are okay. 11:16 You don't have to be a Counselor, 11:18 you don't have to have a Ph. D. in Counseling 11:21 but you need to sit down with them 11:23 and start to process what they are seeing 11:25 because... especially the children that are silent, 11:28 that's very scary, to come in and witness that, 11:32 and come inside and not speak of it, is very scary 11:35 because it's festering inside 11:36 and they need to talk about it so that's the first step. 11:39 There are a lot of families that maybe... 11:42 they're working a lot of hours and things like that, 11:45 so, find a mentor, 11:46 anyone that's positive in their lives for them 11:49 to really process what they're going through. 11:53 Yes, if you don't have someone to talk to 11:57 about what you see, then, as you said, 12:01 it festers in there, it doesn't go anywhere 12:05 and it ends up like a pressure cooker 12:08 you end up just... exploding... 12:10 because you've buried all of this pain, 12:14 and children are seeing this 12:17 this is not just adults, you know, 12:20 when we think of PTSD and all... we think of veterans 12:23 and people that have come out of the war, whatever, 12:27 but don't normally think about children 12:29 and I believe that the work that you're doing 12:32 is so, so important because our children don't have an advocate 12:38 they don't have an advocate, give us an example 12:42 of a child that you've treated 12:46 or that has been treated at your center 12:49 that has had... that kind of background 12:51 and what was done for him or her. 12:54 So one... I can think of one particular child 12:58 where... they weren't sure what was going on with him in school, 13:01 and they were trying to figure it out 13:03 they knew that he was very anxious 13:05 but no one really stopped to ask, "Why are you anxious?" 13:09 It happened to be an African American boy 13:12 a younger boy, and when I spoke with him 13:14 and was doing the evaluation, 13:16 one of the things that he was afraid of 13:18 was whether someone would come in and hurt him 13:21 that is what he was worrying about in school 13:23 whereas most kids... they should be worrying about 13:26 if they got the answer right... 13:28 the teacher is going to call on them 13:30 or something of that nature but instead, 13:32 he's worrying that someone's going to hurt him. 13:35 Is a police officer going to hurt him? 13:36 And this is a serious thing, 13:38 I mean, he's anxious about this every day 13:39 he couldn't get his work done 13:41 so obviously it was impacting him in school 13:43 so... luckily I was able to do the evaluation, 13:46 find that piece out which was a huge piece for him 13:48 do some other type of testing 13:50 and then we set up a treatment plan 13:52 to help him with that, but it's scary when again... 13:55 when you don't know what's going on with the child, 13:58 all of a sudden the teachers sometimes too say, 14:01 "Well, he's just not doing his work... " 14:04 but there's so much more to it than that. 14:06 Are you finding that teachers, in general, are cooperative 14:13 with trying to find out and discover 14:15 what's going on with the children 14:17 or are they... a lot of them burn out 14:19 and just don't want to deal with it? 14:21 And we're not saying all teachers, 14:23 but I'm just saying, what do you find? 14:25 Yeah, it's really a mixture... honestly, it depends... 14:28 what I've seen in my experience, it depends on the school 14:31 so our school... we have one of the largest districts 14:34 in the Nation and I will just go ahead and say 14:38 on maybe an "A" school, there's a different experience 14:42 and there is the "F" school, 14:43 so I've seen very different experiences 14:46 with teachers... some, like you mentioned, 14:48 are very burnt out, 14:50 they say, "I can't help, 14:52 there are too many children in the class, 14:53 there's overcrowding... " 14:55 other schools... they're more accommodating, 14:58 but there's a responsibility really for teachers 15:01 that if you are overwhelmed 15:04 then... there are things that need to be discussed 15:06 and addressed with the Administration 15:08 because we all... I think... 15:10 working with children owe it to them. 15:11 I mean, we have a huge responsibility in their lives 15:15 not just for third grade or not just for first grade 15:18 but in their life, so... 15:20 Absolutely, to help to guide them through 15:23 so, someone comes into your Center... 15:26 and we can put your website up as well 15:29 so that people will know how to reach you 15:32 and what goes on there 15:33 but if someone comes into your center, 15:38 walk us through the whole process, 15:41 walk us through the evaluation and then the treatment segment 15:45 I'm sure that's differential depending on what's going on 15:50 but walk us through a typical kind of situation. 15:53 So, generally, we get a phone call, 15:57 the first call... just to say, 15:59 "I don't know what's going on with my child, 16:01 I think they may need testing. " 16:03 I speak with them over the phone and just do a free consultant 16:06 to see what's going on to make sure we can help them 16:09 and then the very first interview 16:11 what we do... it takes about an hour or so 16:13 where we go through all the background information 16:16 so everything from how was the child born 16:19 to how are they doing in school with friends, 16:22 medical history, everything, we want to be very thorough. 16:25 I mean, excuse me, one second... 16:28 what is the significance of how was the child born 16:32 because I think this is important 16:34 for parents to hear too what's the significance of that? 16:36 So the significance would be, we want to see 16:40 if there was any stress or any trauma during delivery, 16:42 so, was the child born on time or were they born, maybe earlier 16:49 35 weeks or 34 weeks or in a premature state 16:53 did they lose any oxygen at birth, 16:55 things like that because that can, for some children, 16:59 cause developmental delays and maybe walking or talking 17:04 we try to look at... was that delayed 17:06 or was that on time, those sorts of things, 17:08 we want to know all the way from birth, 17:10 all the way to the present however old they are. 17:13 That's great, what about prenatal aspects, 17:16 what was going on, was there prenatal rejection, 17:20 was the mother happy or was she sad that she was pregnant, 17:24 was there inter-utero rejection? 17:27 Yes, we also look at... I mean... 17:30 and then there are a lot of different ways that 17:33 children are conceived nowadays, 17:35 there are a lot of different fertility treatments 17:37 or... like you mentioned, 17:38 sometimes some pregnancies are planned, 17:41 sometimes they're unplanned, how in the very beginning 17:44 did the child bond with the mother and father 17:48 and also we tend to look at what type of baby it was, 17:54 was it a fussy baby or were they calm 17:56 to look at their temperament, 17:57 so we're looking at a lot of different factors at that point 18:01 and sometimes they can pinpoint 18:03 if there has always been an issue with the child 18:05 from the beginning, from when they were a baby 18:07 versus what we see a lot of is, eight, nine, ten... 18:11 it's an all-of-a-sudden thing, 18:13 and it usually, there are behavioral issues, 18:16 whatever other issues, and usually, 18:18 that links to something that was going on 18:20 in a child's life at that time versus a long-standing problem. 18:23 So, many times a parent might say, 18:27 "Well, my child just... I don't know, 18:29 he was really good before and now 18:31 he's acting out and all that and usually... you're saying 18:35 you can link that to some specific occurrence 18:38 in that home or school or whatever. 18:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we see that a lot as well 18:43 so if the child is an "A" and "B" student, 18:47 all of a sudden, it's Fourth Grade 18:49 and now it's D's and F's which is very different 18:52 because we know... you shouldn't go to D's and F's, 18:55 when you start out with A's and B's, 18:57 that's drastic... then we try to pinpoint, if we can, 19:01 what may have happened, so was there a move, 19:05 was there a loss, 19:06 a lot of our families are from divorced homes 19:09 sometimes that impacts children, was there... 19:12 did someone pass away in the family? 19:15 So there can be a lot of things that have happened, 19:17 and as you mentioned before specifically with... 19:20 well, I hate to say it, 19:21 but cases where children are in war zones 19:24 there's a lot that children hold on to 19:27 that parents are not even aware of 19:29 or caregivers are not even aware of. 19:31 Yes, and one of the things that... 19:33 an article that I read about trauma with children 19:39 is that... if you have a child that has been traumatized, 19:43 you have to really start noticing things 19:45 really take... really observe what's going on 19:49 because many times, parents are so busy 19:52 we live in such a demanding society 19:55 that, you know, you got your kids 19:57 and you're trying to raise your kids 20:00 but you got your job and if you're a single parent 20:03 which a lot of our inner-city situations 20:06 are either, a child is being raised by a grandparent 20:09 or a single parent 20:10 and there might not be a father in the home 20:13 it's just... like... overwhelming... so... 20:16 and then you've got... it's... to me... 20:19 it's such an onion, Dr. Hammond, because there are so many layers 20:23 you've got the family dynamic, the school dynamic, 20:26 the community dynamics, 20:28 and then you have everything in between, 20:30 you know, everything within each of those things, 20:32 impinging upon our children and it's... 20:36 what do we do to help them, so, I hear you, 20:40 you go through this evaluation so you can find out 20:45 and identify just where this happened 20:49 or what has happened... and then where do you go from there. 20:53 So then, the next step that we do 20:56 is a Comprehensive Evaluation, Psychological Evaluation, 21:00 that part generally takes a couple of hours 21:02 because we're looking at everything, 21:04 we're looking at IQ, 21:06 what's your intellectual potential to learn, 21:09 sometimes we're looking at academically, 21:12 what grade level the child's at, 21:14 for Reading, Writing and Math, 21:15 we also look at... 21:17 we have a lot of different scales, 21:19 socially, how you're doing, emotionally how you're doing, 21:22 processing information so it's pretty thorough 21:24 to look at a lot of different pieces 21:27 to really see how that child is functioning 21:29 and then a couple of weeks after that 21:31 we go over the results and the report 21:34 that the parent has or the caregiver has 21:36 and from there, we can recommend 21:39 "Okay, they need individual therapy 21:41 or they may need group therapy, 21:43 family therapy might be something that they need 21:46 or a combination," 21:47 a lot of children really can benefit from mentors, 21:50 I am a huge advocate of that 21:52 because 21:53 to have someone positive in your life 21:56 and again... it doesn't have to be the parents 21:58 like you mentioned... it is a very demanding environment 22:00 that many of us are in 22:01 but someone has to be in that child's life 22:04 as a positive role model for them. 22:06 Yes, that is key and often it is a female-dominated environment 22:15 it might be the mother and the grandmother, 22:17 there might not be a dad there 22:19 so boys and girls need a male mentor 22:23 and the thing is, you get real concerned about, 22:26 like... "Is this person okay to mentor my kids?" 22:29 Because, you know, there are all kinds of issues, 22:32 pedophiles and stuff like that so you have to be careful, 22:34 but yet, somebody... as you just said... 22:38 somebody has to be concerned about the child 22:42 and kind of take that child under your wing 22:46 and nurture the child because the environment is so 22:50 stressful, and we expect our kids 22:53 to be in a stressful environment and then learn... 22:56 it's like... how can you learn 22:59 if you're seeing all this violence 23:01 and you're the victim of it, how can you learn? 23:04 And as you mentioned it's very difficult to learn 23:07 and one of the things that you mentioned earlier 23:10 about being in that "war zone" if you will, 23:13 the major difference too is when you're an adult 23:15 being in that environment versus children, 23:18 their brains are not even developed yet to handle that, 23:21 we're talking about seven-, eight-, nine-years old... 23:25 they're babies and they're put in this environment 23:28 and it's like, "I don't know why they're acting out in class" 23:30 because there's a lot on their minds. 23:33 That's right, that's right, they can't... 23:36 they don't know how to express what's on their hearts, 23:40 what's happened to them so they act out 23:42 so what kinds of strategies do you use in treating 23:47 kids that have depression 23:49 or ADHD and things like that, what do you use? 23:53 So, once we know where to go with them, 23:57 then... a lot of times... a lot of kids we see 24:00 have difficulties with self-esteem, 24:02 for a variety of reasons, 24:05 sometimes they're the victims of bullying 24:08 and we know, unfortunately, 24:10 everyone gets some type of bullying 24:12 but some... more severe than others... 24:14 socially... some children really need help with social skills 24:18 as they don't know how to act in certain situations 24:21 don't know how to act appropriately 24:23 because of lack of social skills a lot of times with ADHD, 24:27 we try to teach them self-control techniques 24:31 especially for the younger group 24:33 but just ways to have self-control 24:36 and a lot of times for anxiety, 24:38 we look at what is triggering their anxiety, 24:41 so... is it... 24:42 because of the social setting that you're nervous, 24:45 is it, you're nervous, speaking in front of your class, 24:48 is there something else 24:50 that really is triggering your nervous feeling 24:53 so we make it age-appropriate for them, 24:55 because that's the thing sometimes too... 24:57 we have to be careful as adults 24:59 not to really talk over their head, 25:01 if they're eight-years old, 25:02 we can't explain things like we would explain to our friend 25:04 we need to make it more age appropriate. 25:07 Yeah, yes, yes, so tell us about 25:08 one of your clients that has gone through 25:17 your whole Center, from evaluation to treatment 25:20 and how they're doing now. 25:22 So, I would say, I would say in general 25:31 we see a difference as far as... 25:33 the major thing is self-esteem, 25:35 we can definitely measure that if you will... because 25:38 even the way the children look when they first come in 25:42 I mean, you can see it, they appear depressed, 25:45 they have no confidence in themselves, 25:47 we'll ask them, 25:48 "What do you like about yourself, 25:49 what's something that's good about you. " 25:51 They'll say, "Nothing... " which is really sad to hear 25:54 because every child... 25:55 everyone has something good about them, 25:56 but they can't even list one thing... nothing... 25:59 and they really believe that 26:00 so, it's been really neat to see the transformation, 26:04 if you will, and sometimes it's six months, 26:07 sometimes it's eight months but later 26:09 we see the improvement in school, 26:11 we see the difference, 26:12 I had one girl which... I love her success story 26:16 she worked so hard in therapy 26:19 and she was at the point where we thought 26:21 she wasn't going to make it through high school 26:23 and she was going to fail but actually... 26:25 she just really turned her life around and worked so hard, 26:28 and she actually graduated a year early, 26:30 whereas when she was in 9th and 10th Grades, 26:32 she was almost to the point of failing school 26:35 but we got to the point where she graduated 26:38 basically in 11th Grade so she graduated a year early 26:40 because she turned her life around 26:41 which was so amazing, so... 26:43 It's so rewarding, it's so rewarding isn't it 26:46 to see how... you know... for example, 26:49 she came in to you with low self-esteem 26:52 and the more success you have, 26:55 the more successful you feel and you become 26:59 and so, it's like... again, that's a cascade 27:03 because you don't want to go back to feeling 27:05 like you didn't have it together, you know, 27:07 and as children... to know that there's someone there 27:11 to say, "Hey, you're doing great, 27:13 you are somebody, you can achieve... " 27:15 it's an awesome thing, 27:17 I can't believe our time is up 27:19 you have been so wonderful, 27:21 thank you so much for this information. 27:23 No problem at all. 27:25 We appreciate it so much and hope you come back again 27:28 sometime and bless us again. 27:29 Dr. Hammond: I would love to. Dr. Lewis: Thank you. 27:31 Violence and mayhem 27:32 often plague our communities and families 27:35 our children need help 27:37 in learning how to deal with conflict 27:39 and how to handle life's pressures, 27:41 parents need it too, 27:42 so if you're in trouble, get help. 27:45 Don't feel that it is ungodly to seek a Godly Counselor, 27:48 get the tools that you need to build a healthy family. 27:52 Well, we've reached the end of another Program. 27:54 Thanks so much for being here 27:56 and join us next time because you know what? 27:58 It just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2016-03-07