Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW000021A
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00:35 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim.
00:37 And welcome to, Live To Be Well. 00:40 I just want to ask you a question. 00:43 Have you ever wavered to the left? 00:45 To the right? 00:47 Well this morning we're going to talk about 00:49 going straight ahead. 00:50 I want to welcome my guests, Torre and Nila Belle. 00:54 Welcome to, Live To Be Well. How you doing? 00:57 - Good. How are you? - Doing well. 00:58 Good, good. You a little nervous? 01:00 Yeah. 01:02 You are just fine. 01:04 Well you know, when I talked to you a couple of weeks ago, Nila, 01:09 I asked you to give me a topic. 01:11 And I don't want to take credit for this. 01:13 You came up with, "Not to the left, not to the right, 01:16 but straight ahead." 01:17 Why that topic? 01:20 Well-being fifteen has a lot of temptations of 01:25 peer pressure and everything. 01:28 So some of my friends, like, make bad decisions. 01:31 So I'm always, like, kind of the leader of the group 01:36 that, like, always makes the right, well not always, 01:39 but, like, makes the right decisions and, like, leads 01:42 everyone to make the right decisions. 01:45 That's a blessing. 01:46 What type of pressures are you seeing in school, 01:51 or it could be church, or social media? 01:54 What kind of pressures, being fifteen? 01:56 Drugs, boys. 02:02 Yeah, that's like the main two. 02:04 The main two. So the drugs, boys. 02:06 And you're a pretty girl. 02:08 And so, what happens when a boy approaches you, you know? 02:12 Do they come correct? 02:13 Or you know, "What's your name?" 02:15 You know, because you're not going for that. 02:18 So what happens? 02:19 Well you know, they try to ease in. 02:22 Like they say, "Oh, you're cute." 02:24 Like, they're already telling you something you know. 02:30 Like, some boys, like, I don't want to say, holler at you, 02:36 but like, they try to get in your mind, and everything. 02:41 Have you ever had an incident where a young man 02:44 came up on you, try to touch you, or anything like that? 02:48 No, but I had... 02:50 Well, I had older men kind of do that. 02:53 Really? 02:55 Like, they're like, "Oh, you're very gorgeous." 02:57 And then they ask how old I am. 03:00 I say, "I'm fifteen." 03:01 And then, like, they kind of back up. 03:04 But they do not want to go to jail. 03:06 Yeah. But, yeah. That's the most... 03:09 What do you know about human trafficking? 03:11 Are you aware about, you know, knowledgeable about that? 03:14 - Yes. - Let's talk about that. 03:15 Okay, human trafficking, I know that, like, some people 03:23 take them on dates and like, probably, like, 03:26 drug their drinks, and like, put them in a car. 03:30 And like, they're in human trafficking. 03:34 And then they kidnap them, take them to other countries. 03:38 Families never see them again. 03:40 And so you have to be careful. You've got to be wise. 03:43 Now when you go to school, does your 03:45 mother and father drop you off? 03:47 ~ Yes. - You do. Okay. 03:48 And then they pick you up? 03:50 - No, I walk home. - You walk home. 03:53 Man, those days are over, huh? 03:57 So, but you're very careful. 03:58 You know not to speak to strangers. 04:00 Yeah, I walk with my brother. 04:02 Oh okay, so you have a brother. 04:03 - How old is your brother? - He's seventeen. 04:05 Is he very protective over you? 04:06 - Yes! - Really? Oooh, okay. 04:09 So if someone tries to talk to you, is he right there? 04:12 - So you're at the same school. - Mm-hmm. 04:14 Alright, do you see him in the corridors or hallways of the 04:18 school in between classes? 04:19 I see him about three times a day. 04:21 Okay, what does he say to you, you know? 04:23 Like, "Are you okay?" "Who's messing with you?" 04:26 - Awww. - Yeah, so he's very... 04:27 Because you're in what grade? 04:29 - I'm in tenth now. - Tenth grade, aw. 04:31 Are you looking forward to going into... 04:33 Are you going into the tenth grade? 04:34 Yes, I'm going into the tenth grade. 04:36 Oh, sophomore. I remember those days. 04:38 You know, it wasn't that long ago, alright. 04:40 People may think so, but it wasn't, alright. 04:43 So are you on a cheer team? Are you in orchestra? Choir? 04:48 In our day we called it, Glee Club. 04:50 - Glee Club? - Oh, look at you. Glee Club? 04:53 Yeah, we had Home Ec. 04:55 Do you also have Home Ec? 04:56 - No. - You never had Home Ec? 04:58 We learned to sew, we learned to cook. 05:00 - Remember, Torre? - Yes. 05:01 That was the best class. We would eat our food, alright. 05:04 If it was good. 05:05 And so, we had those kind of classes. 05:08 So what are you involved in? 05:09 - I play the clarinet. - I play the clarinet. 05:13 - I'm in band. - Yes. 05:14 - And I swim. - You swim. 05:17 I kind of, you know, go under. 05:19 You know, I cannot back stroke. 05:22 Is it the fear? 05:23 Yeah, it's probably the fear. 05:25 - You have to lift your hips up. - I do, but it's like I go down. 05:29 And then but I swim, I kick. You know. 05:32 My husband use to say, "What are you doing?" 05:35 You know, I'd say, "I'm doing something. 05:36 Alright, I'm going to keep at it." 05:38 But, so how good are you at swimming? 05:40 Um, well I'm on a swim team, so. 05:43 And I'm a lifeguard. 05:45 So I'm kind of good. 05:47 You're kind of good? 05:48 You can save my life, alright. 05:51 Come on and save my life, alright. 05:53 So are you think about maybe getting a job working on a beach 05:56 or a lifeguard, or something like that? 05:59 - Yes. - At the Y, or something? 06:01 Yeah, I work now. I have a summer job now. 06:04 I like that independence. 06:06 Have you gotten paid yet? 06:08 - Yes. - Oooh, look at that smile. 06:11 So that means saving. 06:13 You know, and of course tithing. 06:16 And then, you know, does mom and dad 06:17 let you have a little bit to shop with? 06:19 - Yes, just a little bit. - A little bit. That's good. 06:21 You know, because this is the time we start now 06:24 preparing for economics as an adult. 06:27 Because a lot of people do not know how to save and plan, 06:32 because they weren't taught as children, alright. 06:34 Well how do you get along with mom, 06:37 and dad, and the family dynamics? 06:39 How do you get along with mama? 06:40 - We get along good. - Really? 06:44 Mama's like, "Okay, fix this." 06:46 So do you do chores? Do you get discipline? 06:49 You probably don't have any problems. 06:52 - Well I do chores. ~ You do chores? 06:53 - Yeah, a lot of chores. ~ You do a lot of chores. 06:56 You know, does your brother do chores? 06:58 - Mm-hmm. - Oh so everybody does chores? 06:59 Everybody except for my dad. 07:01 - Dad doesn't do chores? - No. 07:02 Oh, he's spoiled. 07:05 He said, "I paid my dues, you know. 07:07 You guys, it's your turn now." 07:10 So how do you feel about doing chores? 07:13 I don't have a problem. 07:15 I think I should because... 07:17 - You live there. - Yeah, I live there. 07:19 So it's no choice. 07:20 And my question is, when you go off to college 07:23 you've got to be able to maintain your dormitory room 07:26 or your apartment. 07:27 And then when you get married some day 07:29 who wants to live with someone who's not well kept. 07:32 - Do you? - No. 07:33 That was one of my pet peeves. 07:34 You know, you've got to clean up. 07:36 You've got to organize. 07:37 When I met my husband, he had chicken and dumplings 07:40 in his refrigerator for, like, two years. 07:42 I don't know. Okay. 07:44 And golf balls everywhere. 07:46 So I was like, this is not going to work. 07:49 I remember I went to band camp. 07:51 And like, my bed, it was all clean. 07:54 I made up my bed every day. 07:56 And like, the people I was rooming with, 07:58 they just had their clothes everywhere. 08:00 And I was like, hmm. 08:01 So that let you know how they lived at home, alright. 08:04 So I'm glad you know and got a taste of the other side. 08:08 So what happens when you do step out of line 08:12 and you go to the left or right? 08:13 Maybe, you know, you disagree with mom or dad. 08:16 Or you may be falling behind in schoolwork. 08:20 - Are your grades good? - Yes. 08:22 Oh you said, "Yes!" 08:23 Are you on the honor roll? 08:25 - Not yet. - But you're working towards it? 08:27 - Yeah, I'm working. - Alright, good. 08:28 You know, we all have to have a goal. 08:30 So what happens when you do go to the left or right? 08:33 How does mom and dad get you back on the straight path? 08:37 Well, my mom is kind of on me more, because I guess 08:41 she sees potential, and other things. 08:43 So like, she might have a talk with me. 08:46 Oh she, like, yells. 08:48 She yells? 08:49 I do too, okay? 08:51 Like, so if I go off course, like, she kind of 08:54 pulls me back in, yeah. 08:56 Like, "What are you doing?" 08:58 Like, "You got this." 08:59 It like motivates me to... 09:01 And my dad, he, he... I don't know. 09:07 Is he laid back? 09:08 Yeah, he's kind of like laid back. 09:10 Like, he's not really on me like this. 09:13 - Like, "Leave the baby alone." - Yeah, like I'm the only girl. 09:16 So like, I'm the daddy's girl, so. 09:19 Like, he's on my brother more, so. 09:23 Alright, does mom go easy on your brother? 09:25 - Yes! - See, you know what they say. 09:28 Mothers and sons, fathers and daughters. 09:30 Okay, so why do you think she's easier on him? 09:35 Because my brother, he's special. 09:38 - I don't know. - He's special. 09:40 Not different, but special. 09:41 Like, he knows what he's, like, what he's doing and everything. 09:46 So, yeah. 09:49 You know, is it that you can't tell him anything? 09:52 Or is he just on task? 09:55 Or is he just, he's just independent? 10:00 He's kind of independent. 10:02 Okay, I didn't get any of those words, alright. 10:04 But he's on the, he likes boxing. 10:06 Yeah, he boxes. 10:08 Okay, so that's really a defense. 10:10 These are lethal weapons here, alright. 10:12 So you have a good protector. 10:14 So what are your future goals? What do you want to be? 10:17 My future goals, I want to be a journalist and a newscaster. 10:20 Look at you, you're going to be sitting in this chair some day. 10:23 Look at you. 10:24 I remember when I met you, I was speaking, 10:27 I was Woman's Day guest speaker. 10:30 And you introduced me. 10:32 And you we so well spoken. 10:36 Eye contact, so well poised. 10:38 And I didn't know that you were Torre's daughter. 10:42 Because I already knew your mom. 10:43 We're going to talk a little bit about that. 10:44 And you were sitting on the pulpit with all us old folk, 10:48 alright, and I looked down and I said, 10:51 "She's going to introduce me." 10:53 I was so impressed. 10:55 I think that it's important that you have these experiences 10:58 now so you're not afraid. 11:00 And when I came down to the fellowship hall, 11:03 when I asked you to be a guest, 11:04 because I saw something inside of you. 11:06 Your mother is right. You have awesome potential. 11:09 And you must stay on that path. 11:12 Not leering to the left or to the right. 11:15 Because Satan wants to destroy your life. 11:18 He's out to steal, kill, and destroy. 11:20 Let's talk about your relationship with the Lord. 11:22 Is God important and is He key in your life? 11:25 - Yes, very much. - Let's talk about that. 11:28 Well like... 11:31 Do you pray, do you study your Word, 11:33 do you witness to other people? 11:36 Yes, I feel God gives me the strength from Him 11:41 to encourage others through my writing and my speaking, so. 11:47 What do you mean, your writing? What do you do? 11:48 - Like, I write stories. - You do? 11:52 Wow! Have you had anything published yet? 11:54 I was about to, but it kind of, I don't know what happened. 11:59 You went to the left or the right. 12:00 ~ Yeah. 12:02 So you had to get on the straight path. 12:03 I was about to publish a book, but... 12:05 Okay, it's not too late. 12:07 ~ Yeah, it's not too late. - It's never too late, you know. 12:09 And maybe there's something Dr. Kim can do 12:11 to help you with that, you know. 12:14 So God is important. 12:16 He helps you to encourage others. 12:18 Do you want to see Jesus when He comes? 12:21 - Yes. ~ You do. 12:22 You just smile, you know. And He's coming soon. 12:25 Look at everything that's going on in our world. 12:28 Are you afraid, like, I hear some young people say, 12:31 "Oh please, God, don't come for another 30 years. 12:33 I want to live to see my life, you know." 12:36 It's like, you know, do you feel like that? 12:38 You know, that you're going to miss out on something? 12:40 - No, uh-uh. - Me either. 12:42 You know, so if I don't live to be a hundred 12:44 or two hundred, something... 12:46 I don't know if I can wear my shoes at two hundred. 12:47 But I'm like, "Lord, I'm so excited about 12:50 Your soon second coming." 12:52 Alright. 12:53 Do you want to, in the future, have you picked out 12:56 a school yet, a college? 12:58 Have you talked about that with your parents? 13:00 Yes, I talk about college, like, every day. 13:02 Really? 13:04 So you want to go, you want to attend college? 13:06 Yes, I want to go. 13:07 Alright, where do you have in mind? 13:09 Norfolk State. 13:11 - In Virginia? - Uh-huh. 13:13 - Alright, is that an historical black college? - Yes. 13:16 You want to go to an historical black... 13:17 - Yeah, I to go to a... - Yes, alright. 13:20 So do you think you're going to be ready to go off to college? 13:23 - Yes, I think so. ~ Alright. 13:24 ~ Look at that independence. 13:27 ~ Alright, you know. 13:28 Does mom, you look so nice and Christ-like, 13:32 does mom pick out your clothes or does she 13:34 give you a little leeway? 13:35 Ummm... 13:38 Mmmm... 13:39 She's in control. 13:41 - No, no. - No? 13:42 I pick out my clothes. 13:43 Now do you wear a uniform to school? 13:45 - No, no. - Ooh, you said, "No!" 13:46 - Those days are over too. - Yes. 13:49 - Does mom do your hair? - No. 13:52 Oh, you said, "No!" 13:53 - That stopped when I was... - You hear those inflections? 13:55 No! No! 13:56 - That stopped too? Alright. - Yeah. 13:58 So on special occasions does mom do your hair? 14:01 - No. - No? 14:02 You just have it all... 14:04 Like special occasions I get my hair, like, pressed. 14:07 Because I called you yesterday 14:08 and you were getting your hair done. 14:09 I know, she said, "Dr. Logan, I can't hear you. 14:11 I'm getting my hair done." 14:14 I said, "I just want to make sure we're on for tomorrow." 14:16 "Bye." She said, "Bye." 14:18 So it looks beautiful. They did a great job. 14:21 Well I want to just switch over a little bit and talk to mom. 14:24 And I know there's going to be great success for you. 14:27 And I truly thank God for your testimony. 14:30 And also I want to say, "Are you a virgin?" 14:33 - Yes. ~ Why are you still a virgin? 14:36 Because I don't have time to... 14:39 Like, my granddad always told me to keep a pill 14:42 in between my legs, or an aspirin in between my legs. 14:46 So like, ever since he passed, like, I feel a need 14:50 like I shouldn't go against his word or nothing, so. 14:53 And we know it's against God's Word 14:55 to have sex outside of marriage. 14:57 And God wants us to abstain and be pure. 15:00 He wants us to be pure. 15:02 Because God has something great for your life, 15:04 if we can just be obedient. 15:06 Obedience is better than sacrifice. 15:08 Is there a favorite scripture that you lean on in your life? 15:11 - Yes. - What is it? 15:13 - I don't know where... - It's found? 15:15 Yeah, but it's, "God did not give me a spirit of fear, 15:18 but power, love and a sound mind." 15:21 - 2 Timothy 1:7. - Yeah, I knew it was in... 15:25 That's one of my favorites. 15:26 You know, and He's given you a power 15:28 of a good mind, and not of fear. 15:31 And for you to not leer to the left or the right. 15:34 And there's no reason. 15:35 Because God is a God, a path of obedience 15:40 and being on the straight and narrow path. 15:42 So I'm asking you, as a vessel of the Lord, do not leer. 15:48 Stay on that path, alright? 15:49 And we're going to hear great things about you. 15:52 And I'll be watching you on television, alright. 15:55 - So mom, welcome. - Yes, hello there. 15:58 You've done a great job, you and your husband. 16:00 How long you been married? 16:02 It will be seventeen years, no eighteen years in September. 16:07 ~ September the what? - September 20th. 16:09 Oh, I'm a September baby. 16:11 I love people, anything in September, you know. 16:13 So let's talk a little bit about motherhood, 16:16 and you know, being a wife and balancing, 16:18 and your own business. 16:20 So start wherever you like. 16:22 Well motherhood is probably one of the joyous things 16:26 that I've ever experienced. 16:27 Especially having a son that is soon to be seventeen 16:31 and my fifteen year old. 16:33 And teaching them independence. 16:35 Teaching them how to love God first. 16:38 Now that they both are working, teaching them that 16:40 tithe and offering is the most important, 16:42 which comes out of their check first. 16:45 How to put the money away to save. 16:48 Getting prepared for college. 16:51 So I think having children was, not knowing that I didn't 16:55 want any in the beginning... 16:56 - Didn't want children. - I did not want children. 16:58 Wow! This was even after you got married 17:01 you didn't want children? 17:02 And we did not want children. 17:03 Actually we had spent, just sitting around talking, 17:06 and decided we would wait a few years 17:09 before we decided to have a family. 17:11 - That didn't... - There came your son. 17:14 And then a couple of years later... 17:16 Then comes Nila. 17:18 - But it was a good balance. - Yes it was. 17:19 Now you are sign language interpreter. 17:22 What's your title? 17:24 I am an interpreter, also a professor, 17:28 an advocate. 17:29 Now where do you teach? 17:31 I teach at Wayne Community College. 17:33 And I also have my own business. 17:35 How long have you been signing? 17:38 Twenty plus. Twenty-three years. 17:41 And that's how we met. 17:42 Hands Of Praise was doing a concert 17:44 at Wayne State University. 17:46 You were signing for a company owned by 17:50 two of my members at City Temple. 17:52 And you were just so sweet, so nice, and so kind. 17:56 That was our first concert. 17:58 And even when one of the signs didn't line up, 18:01 you returned to the hearing impaired and gave them 18:04 the word that they knew. 18:05 But you were so encouraging. 18:07 And now all these years later. 18:09 Can you imagine, not knowing we would meet 18:12 many years later, and not knowing Nila was your daughter 18:16 who introduced me, and then I looked at you and said, 18:19 "I know her." 18:21 And then when you sat down, I said... 18:23 And you started signing. 18:25 And I said, "It's so good to see you," you know. 18:28 So we're going to show them a little bit, alright? 18:31 - Just a little bit. - Just a little bit, you know. 18:32 So, hello. How are you? 18:35 And your response would be... 18:37 I'm doing good. And how are you? 18:39 Oh, I am good. It is so good to see you again. 18:43 It's good to see you also. 18:45 How is your family? 18:46 My family is well. Doing good and growing. 18:52 I don't want to say growing, because 18:53 we're not having any more children, that's for sure. 18:55 - God is good. - All the time. 18:57 All the time. Ah, yes. 19:00 Don't play, don't play. 19:02 Having a second language is crucial. 19:05 It's very important. 19:07 And so why have you given your life to this ministry? 19:12 Actually, my major in college was nursing. 19:15 ~ Really? - Yes. 19:17 And the Holy Spirit, by teaching at the church, 19:21 the Holy Spirit convicted my heart, 19:24 or changed it, or filled it. 19:26 And from that moment on I changed my major 19:30 in my last year to sign language. 19:32 - You said, your last year. - My last year. 19:34 Did that prolong you leaving the program, graduating? 19:38 - Yes it did. - How many more years? 19:39 - Just an additional year. - Praise the Lord. 19:41 - But you are happy. - I am more than excited. 19:44 I would not have thought this was 19:45 the path that I was going into. 19:47 Especially when I wanted to be a nurse anesthetist. 19:49 ~ Isn't that something. - Yes. 19:51 Now are there any hearing impaired 19:53 or hearing challenged members in your family? 19:56 Actually, to see God work, not knowing that my husband, 20:01 before we got married, his sister is deaf. 20:03 - Really? - Yes, so they have a deaf aunt. 20:06 - Really? - Yes. 20:07 - Now does she sign fluently? - Yes. 20:09 So you communicate and interpret for the family. 20:12 - Yes, ma'am. Yes. - At gatherings and everything. 20:14 So I know she's happy to have someone 20:16 at family gatherings she can talk to. 20:19 You know, are you teaching other family members to sign? 20:22 Are they willing? 20:24 Well, my mom actually is the one that encouraged me 20:27 to become, to learn sign language. 20:30 And James and Nila, we have encouraged them to learn 20:33 to communicate with their aunt. 20:34 I think that's the most beneficial. 20:36 And actually it's also a great way to have a second language. 20:39 Even if they're not fluent in it, but at least if they 20:42 go out into the community and meet somebody, 20:44 they'll know or have a way to communicate with someone. 20:47 That's a blessing. 20:49 You as a person, your relationship with the Lord, 20:51 let's talk about your relationship. 20:53 Do you love Him? 20:54 I love Him to the utmost. 20:57 I think ever since I became in the ministry of sign language 21:02 I think that's when the walk became closer. 21:06 More endearing. 21:08 By me teaching sign language and teaching religious signing, 21:11 you have a better understanding and you get to study the Word, 21:15 and you get to know Him. 21:16 And then you have to depend on Him and trust Him. 21:18 Having your own business, when things seem to go 21:21 to the left or to the right, 21:23 you know you have to keep the path straight. 21:25 And actually leaning on Him, and talking with my husband 21:28 and having that husband and wife communication. 21:31 And just so, that relationship with God has become 21:35 closer and endearing. 21:36 And we prayed on our way here, 21:38 and then we prayed while we were here. 21:41 Just to know to depend on Him and trust Him. 21:44 It's just, it's almost like when I sign 21:47 I can be a pastor. 21:49 Or I can evangelize. 21:51 But I can do it where I don't have to use my voice. 21:55 ~ You can do it without your voice. 21:56 - Use those ten fingers. - Those ten little fingers. 21:58 The power of these fingers. 22:00 How do you find downtime, you know, so that you can 22:04 continue on that straight path. 22:05 Because we all need downtime. 22:07 Need to relax, we need to breathe. 22:09 So what does mom, wife, business owner do for you? 22:14 You know, do you work out, do you crochet? 22:17 Do you, you know... 22:18 I'm thinking about picking up crocheting. 22:20 - You know, do you crochet? - No. 22:22 - Knit? - No. 22:23 Nila, I'm not talking to you anymore, alright. 22:26 - What do you do? - Every day I do water aerobics. 22:28 - Do you? - Yes, every day. 22:30 - That's a blessing. - Without fail. 22:32 For at least an hour, hour and a half. 22:33 My water serenity, and it's relaxing. 22:36 - Yes. - And so... 22:38 You do that for you. 22:39 Yes. I think when I... 22:41 I was talking on another broadcast, I broke my patella. 22:45 But water aerobic was so amazing for me. 22:49 And didn't feel anything. 22:51 And when I was in the weight loss program 22:54 I was doing water aerobic three times a week, 22:56 and I loved it. 22:58 Because that swimming thing just wasn't working for me, alright. 23:01 But water aerobics? 23:03 I can stand up and do this. 23:05 You know, and I would just walk the pool, 23:07 walk the pool, walk the pool. 23:09 I would go under every now and then 23:11 to try to be like I'm doing something, alright. 23:14 So, marriage. 23:16 Looking at, you know, your relationship in marriage 23:19 and motherhood, do you cook every day? 23:22 - No. - It's okay. 23:24 It's okay. I don't either. 23:26 I think, you know, because you're not a stay at home mom. 23:29 Well actually, we try not to do a lot of fast food. 23:33 - We believe in eating healthy. ~ That's good. 23:35 Part of my studies is also in holistic studies. 23:38 So eating properly and making sure they know how to cook. 23:41 But by my husband being the cook, 23:43 so that way I don't have to cook every day. 23:46 - He's a great cook. - Yes. 23:49 Alright, you like dad's cooking? 23:50 - Yes. - Ooh. 23:52 - He's culinary also. - Oh really? 23:54 He's in culinary and pastries. 23:55 - Oooh. - Yes. 23:57 Can you cook? 23:59 - No. - No? 24:00 - You going to learn? - I can cook eggs. 24:02 That's good. That's a good start. 24:04 - Breakfast, mostly. - You can do breakfast food? 24:05 - Yeah, breakfast. - Alright. 24:07 - You know, make pancakes? - Yeah. 24:08 You have a waffle, you can make waffles? 24:10 - No. - You can't do that? Okay. 24:12 So looking at your downtime in water aerobics, 24:15 looking at how you maintain your peace, 24:18 your relationship. 24:20 You have a son and a daughter. 24:22 They're different people. 24:24 How do you... You're laughing already. 24:26 How do you discipline your children? 24:31 Actually, I have to discipline them separately. 24:34 Because they're separate. 24:36 James is James. Nila is Nila. 24:39 I do believe in using a rod. I don't spare the rod. 24:43 When they were younger. 24:46 So we did believe in that. 24:47 Even though, Nila maybe once or twice. 24:49 But that James. 24:50 I believe in it. I can say it. 24:52 The Bible says, you spare the rod, you spoil the child. 24:55 - That's Scriptural. - Yes it is. 24:57 For Nila, we have to sit and talk. 25:00 And we can talk it out, and have a one on one basis. 25:04 Just the other night we sat and had to talk about, 25:08 is that the right choice. 25:09 And I like for them to understand 25:11 the choices that they make. 25:13 Do your husband and you do it together 25:14 or is it more mommy? 25:16 Actually we will, my husband and I will talk first, 25:19 and then we come, then I am the one that comes to them. 25:22 Let's tell the viewers why you do that. 25:24 Why do you do that, you sit down with your husband first? 25:27 Because we want to make sure that 25:29 we are in agreement together. 25:31 And if we're not together, then they'll see the opposition 25:34 between us, and then they probably will like to 25:35 try to see, "Well if mama doesn't like it 25:38 and daddy likes it, then I'll go to mama." 25:40 Or vice versa. 25:42 And so we try to make sure we are on the same team. 25:44 A husband and wife is a team effort. 25:47 So we work together in trying to make sure that 25:50 if one does this, you understand. 25:53 You know, you can't go to dad thinking that you're going to... 25:55 - That manipulation. - Yes, exactly. 25:58 That you can't get a different answer. 25:59 So we work together on dating, and how finances will be spent, 26:06 and chores at the house. 26:08 Yes, that is spoiled, if I can say that. 26:13 You know, but getting you ready for that independence. 26:16 Because see, the bottom line, Nila... 26:17 Can I just tell you this? 26:19 We want you out. 26:21 We don't want you to come back. 26:22 I mean, come back and visit for the holidays. 26:24 But we want you to, you know, get through college, 26:28 come home and visit, go back to college, 26:30 graduate, go on, and on, and on. 26:34 Come and visit, but only stay a couple of days, alright. 26:37 Because, you know, we want you out of our refrigerator, 26:39 off our cell phone bill. 26:41 Because that's what we want. 26:42 And the only way we can do that is train you now. 26:45 You know, we're almost done. 26:48 It went so fast. 26:49 So in closing remarks, what can you say to young ladies? 26:53 What can you say to families, mothers? 26:56 Nila. 26:57 Being positive with whatever you do. 27:01 And be happy with the skin that you're in. 27:04 Ooh, be happy with the skin that you are in. 27:07 You little chocolate beauty. 27:09 Yes. Mom? 27:11 For family, my suggestion is, get back to how we were raised. 27:16 And that is family time at the dinner table, 27:19 cooking as a family, spending time together. 27:23 Put the cell phones away, turn the TV off. 27:27 Read Scripture, pray together. 27:29 And continue to just grow and bring the family together again. 27:34 That's what we both believe in, and that's family values. 27:38 Togetherness. 27:40 Family values. I like that. 27:41 Let's say that again. Family values. 27:43 Alright, my future newscaster, journalist. 27:46 I'm going to be looking out for you. 27:48 And we're looking for great things. 27:49 I want to thank you both for being a witness for the Lord, 27:53 for being a part of, Live To Be Well. 27:55 Continue to live to be well. 27:57 And let's not go to the left, to the right, 27:59 but stay straight ahead. 28:01 I'm Dr. Kim. 28:02 Live to be well. God bless. |
Revised 2018-05-07