Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Esther Smith
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000209A
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a woman who survived the tragedy
00:04 that most people die from. 00:05 My name is Jason Bradley, 00:07 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:33 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:35 My guest today is Esther Smith, 00:37 a woman with a personal testimony. 00:39 Welcome to Urban Report, Esther. 00:41 Thank you. Thank you for having me. 00:42 Oh, no problem. 00:43 So, we want to jump into your testimony 00:46 but we don't want to jump in too soon to the mid of it. 00:49 Tell us a little bit about your upbringing, 00:51 where are you from. 00:52 I was born in Louisiana. 00:55 Okay. And raise there as well. 00:58 My father is a pastor and my mom is an author now 01:02 and a stay at home mother. 01:05 I have... 01:06 I'm one of three siblings, I'm the youngest. 01:09 Okay. 01:10 And yes, it was pretty normal family 01:16 and just the four of us living in Louisiana. 01:20 Okay. Now were you raised Adventist? 01:23 I was. 01:24 My father is an Adventist pastor 01:27 and has been all of my life 01:29 and I was raised with all of the principles 01:32 that we are accustomed to 01:34 and alongside the customary, 01:39 you know, do good to everyone else 01:41 and golden rule type of things. 01:44 Okay, okay. 01:45 So they really instilled 01:46 the Christian values in your life. 01:49 Now you didn't always live in Louisiana. 01:52 Didn't you move from Louisiana or something? 01:54 Yes. 01:56 When my brother and I got older, 01:58 we went to college out of state, 02:01 and so but my parents still live in Louisiana, yes. 02:04 Okay, what college did you attend? 02:06 I actually attended Oakwood University in Alabama. 02:10 Yeah, okay. I went to Oakwood. 02:12 Yeah, it's almost like a family tradition. 02:16 My grandparents went there, my parents went there 02:19 and now my brother and I went there. 02:21 I went there for my undergrad. 02:23 Okay, okay. 02:24 Now what was it like growing up as the baby in the family? 02:27 Oh, you know, people say that growing up as a baby 02:31 in the family get away with everything, 02:33 that is not true at all. 02:36 I was definitely guided and protected more 02:41 so than my brother was, I think. 02:44 Even though, he kind of had free range in a way 02:48 and when I was growing up, my father kind of was like, 02:53 well you know you're kind of more gentle and delicate, 02:57 let's kind of guard you from the evils of the world. 03:01 So growing up as a baby in the family was, it was fun, 03:05 but definitely interesting. 03:07 Okay, okay. 03:09 I too, I'm the baby in the family. 03:11 Oh, cool. So I can relate. 03:13 So tell us a little bit more about your journey. 03:17 What took place, there was something in your life 03:20 that took place, 03:23 an accident if you will. 03:25 Tell us a little bit about that? 03:26 Yes. 03:28 Well, it was my junior year of college and prior to 03:33 because we had families staying in Alabama, 03:36 it was my junior year and we... 03:39 before that every break we kind of stayed in Alabama, 03:41 and my parents would drive up for the holidays 03:44 and we spend that time there. 03:46 But this particular Christmas, we decided... 03:50 my brother and I have to drive home. 03:53 And so we did that, it's about a seven hour drive 03:57 and that's fine. 03:58 So we packed up all of our things 04:00 and got in my little car and drove home, 04:04 and on the way home was when I discovered that 04:09 my brother had purchased a gun... 04:13 Really. And oh, yeah. 04:16 It was... 04:17 Why do you think? 04:19 Did he feel that he needed a gun 04:21 or what was he trying to be cool, 04:23 what do you think it was? 04:24 Well, I asked him because given the way 04:27 that we were brought up and our parents raised us, 04:31 it was extremely out of character 04:33 to do such a thing. 04:34 And so I asked him, "You know why do you have this, 04:38 why do you need it, or what are you doing with it?" 04:41 And he told me, "Well, you know, 04:44 you haven't been watching the things in the news lately, 04:46 and he went on to talk about, you know, 04:50 just the things that are happening politically 04:54 I guess with police and African-American males 04:58 and the situations that have constantly 05:01 seem to appear in the media. 05:04 And he went on to talk about how scared he was about that 05:08 happening to him too. 05:10 And me being I guess 05:13 more in the line of my parent's thinking, 05:15 I was like "Whoa! 05:16 God protect us, why would you need a gun, 05:19 why would you need a weapon," and it's almost 05:22 the biggest handgun that you could actually get 05:26 is a 45 caliber pistol, 05:29 and these types of guns are used 05:32 to kill deer and animals, 05:36 it's a huge bullet, 05:40 and that really kind of heavy weapon. 05:42 Yes. 05:43 And you know it's bit of an argument 05:46 that went on within the car talking about 05:48 why he would need that 05:49 and why it was in my car specifically. 05:51 Yeah, and it seems like, if there is a fear of 05:55 what's going on with the police... 05:58 It doesn't seem like having a gun or owning a gun 06:01 would help the situation with the police. 06:03 Yeah, definitely not. 06:05 I tried to convey that to my brother and you know 06:08 just saying "Okay, I understand 06:12 where you're coming from with that fear, you know 06:14 that's a very real fear for African-Americans now. 06:20 I understand where you're coming from 06:21 with that but on the same hand, if you have a weapon 06:26 they're more incline to be, 06:28 more proactive as oppose to saying okay, 06:31 we're gonna ask you a few questions 06:32 as to why you have that. 06:34 So I told him either way your logic is completely flawed 06:39 so... 06:40 And how did he take that? 06:42 Well, as I said it was an argument 06:44 and so it's kind of 06:46 lighthearted talking about it now but in the moment 06:50 it was a very real conflict happening in my car 06:53 and I couldn't understand why he would do, 06:59 why he would purchase it, 07:00 why he would actually go out and buy one. 07:02 And he was saying "You know, I have the proper training, 07:06 I went through the classes and everything. 07:09 I have a license, I've done everything legally, 07:11 this gun is legally in my procession, 07:14 and guns don't kill people, people do." 07:17 And I have a problem with that statement too, 07:22 but that was his logic behind it 07:25 and we continue the ride home and, you know, 07:29 put the gun back in the glove compartment 07:32 but that was a challenging moment for me 07:37 between my brother and I. 07:38 Yeah, I can only imagine because it sounds to me 07:41 like he felt very strongly about owning a firearm. 07:45 So what happened, what transpired in that car? 07:50 Well, when we got home 07:53 I immediately went to tell my parents like, 07:56 he has a gun, like, this is terrible, 07:58 take it away from him. 08:00 And my parents have always taught my brother 08:03 and I to use our own minds to use the logic 08:10 that God gave us and come up with logical conclusions 08:13 to situations in life. 08:14 And so my parents 08:16 didn't immediately repossessed the gun from him, 08:20 they wanted to see why he thought that he needed one, 08:25 what's the real purpose behind this kind of thinking, 08:28 and where did it originate. 08:30 And so it was that Thursday that we drove home, 08:35 Friday we had more discussions as to why he had it, 08:40 again getting pretty heated. 08:42 And then Saturday, we went to church 08:46 and my father preached. 08:47 And on the way to church, 08:50 I discovered that the gun was still in my car. 08:52 And so I talked to him about that and he decided that 08:58 he wanted to show our godbrother 09:00 that he'd gotten the gun. 09:02 And so after church 09:06 on our way home he decided to do that 09:09 and my godbrother was sitting in the car 09:12 in the seat... 09:14 Well, my brother was sitting in the seat behind me, 09:16 my godbrother sitting opposite to him 09:18 and my godsister sitting in the passenger side. 09:21 And I'm driving home and so my godsister and I, 09:26 we convinced them that 09:27 hey having the gun out in the car 09:29 with all of us driving is not smart at all. 09:34 Absolutely. 09:35 So we need to put that gun up, put it on safety, 09:39 and put it away. 09:40 And so they understood 09:44 that was probably the smarter thing to do. 09:46 Yeah. 09:47 And my brother moved to put the gun away 09:50 and disable it and disassemble it 09:54 and he managed to get the bullet clip out of the gun, 09:58 but he didn't remember that there was a bullet 10:03 in the firing chamber of the weapon. 10:06 And you know a lot of guns these days are build 10:09 with a hairline trigger. 10:11 I learned later that actually means 10:14 that it only needs very little pressure to go off. 10:18 And the gun did go off, 10:21 his finger kind of brushed the trigger 10:24 and it went off directly 10:27 into the center of the driver seat, 10:29 where I was sitting... 10:30 Where you were. 10:32 Wow! Okay. 10:33 So you're driving your car, 10:34 you just got out of church, right? 10:36 Yeah. 10:37 You're driving the car, you're headed, 10:39 where were you headed, back home? 10:40 Back home, yeah. 10:41 Back home from church 10:43 and your brother pulls out the gun 10:45 to show your godbrother 10:48 and then you talk them out of it like it's, 10:51 you know, this is a bad idea. 10:53 He goes to take the clip out and everything, 10:56 forgets that there is one in the chamber, 10:59 goes to put it up, and accidentally shoots you. 11:02 Yeah. 11:04 He shot me and... 11:06 it is unlike any other feeling I have felt before. 11:10 Yeah, what is it, what did it feel like? 11:13 Well, initially it feels like 11:17 someone has just hit you very, very hard 11:21 and the only thing that I have ever likened it 11:24 to was being hit by steel bat. 11:27 It's the only thing that I could actually think of 11:30 that could have 11:32 such a velocity to hit you with. 11:35 And I couldn't... 11:38 the breath is like not from you 11:40 and it's very, 11:45 it's almost very weird to describe 11:48 because it's not a normal feeling, 11:50 it's not a natural feeling, and... 11:54 I remember knowing instantly that I was shot, 11:57 knowing instantly. 11:59 Just because my car is very small 12:02 and it was the... 12:05 And the windows were up and so when the gun went off 12:08 it... 12:10 The sound in the car was massive 12:12 and it was deafening, and... 12:15 knowing instantly that I had sustained a bullet. 12:19 Man. 12:20 And so did you wreck the car like what... 12:23 I mean you got shot so it seems like, 12:27 there is a possibility that you could have wreck the car, 12:29 what happened, did you pull over 12:31 like what I mean... 12:32 Well, my first thought was "Oh, God I'm driving, 12:38 I don't know how I'm gonna stop this car." 12:40 And so what I did, what I knew initially 12:43 I had to was either try to stop the car, 12:46 I'm going about 60, 65 miles an hour. 12:49 And I know that I have to bring this car to stop. 12:53 And so I try to bring the car, 12:58 I tried to put my foot on the pedal, 13:00 but I realized that I'm going in between 13:02 the gas and the break, 13:03 and I can't function properly to bring my foot down 13:07 on to the break pedal 13:09 and to literally save my life, I couldn't do it. 13:12 Yeah. 13:13 And so I go to 13:17 and I'm thinking, okay, so I can't seem 13:19 to put my foot on the pedal, I have to... 13:22 My next option is to 13:24 stop touching the accelerator at all 13:26 and hopefully it will slow down by itself. 13:28 And it did that, thank God, it slowed down 13:31 and we were able to kind of coast to the side of the road. 13:36 And while I'm trying to, while I'm having these thoughts 13:39 to myself like, okay, I have to stop the car, 13:41 I have to try to not kill everyone else. 13:45 My brother, there's chaos in the car, 13:48 everyone is screaming, my godsister is in tears, 13:51 she can't compose herself and everyone is screaming, 13:55 "Oh my God, what happened, what happened?" 13:56 Because I had screamed, "You shot me, you shot me." 13:59 And so everybody is trying to verify that information. 14:02 Wow! 14:03 And so... 14:05 I'm bringing the car down 14:07 and my brother is trying to figure out 14:08 what happens, he actually bends me over 14:11 to see whether or not he'd actually shot me. 14:15 And so he does 14:18 and sees that my clothes are torn 14:20 and there is you know this bullet sized hole 14:23 in the back of my clothes and... 14:26 because I got shot on... 14:29 in my back two-and-half inches from my spine. 14:32 Whoa! 14:33 - Yeah. - Whoa! 14:34 And so he leans me over and he sees that you know 14:38 I was shot in fact, 14:41 and so he jumps over me to stop the car. 14:45 So he's sitting in my lap and he's stopping the car, 14:48 he brings the car to stop 14:50 and everybody pass out of the car 14:52 and they're panicking, 14:54 and you know, in our little town, 14:56 in our little country road their weren't cars on the road. 14:59 And so my brother is sitting in the road 15:04 and he is rocking back and forth with his head 15:07 in his hands and he's screaming "What have I done, 15:10 what have I done, oh my God," 15:11 and everybody is not sure what to do exactly. 15:14 And I remember at this time just feeling kind of sleepy, 15:19 I instantly felt sleepy after the car was stopped. 15:25 And I remember knowing that we have to get to the hospital, 15:30 we have to get to the hospital. 15:32 That's what needs to happen right now. 15:34 And so a little deliberation goes on 15:37 and then everybody kind of figure outs a way 15:39 to make that happen including moving me 15:42 to the backseat of the car. 15:44 - Wow. - Yeah. 15:45 So they drove you to the hospital and call 911, 15:50 no ambulance or anything like that? 15:51 Well, they did called 911 on the way 15:56 but our little town has one hospital 16:00 and the ambulance at that time was somewhere else 16:03 and they were too far to get to us 16:05 and so they said, you know what, 16:06 you guys are just gonna have to drive here. 16:09 And so that's what we ended up doing. 16:11 But on the backseat of that car, 16:13 in the backseat 16:16 once my brother had moved me and we were making 16:18 the desperate drive to the hospital. 16:21 I had one of the clearest moments 16:24 with God that I've ever had in my life. 16:27 Yeah. 16:28 So tell us about that? 16:30 Yeah. 16:31 I, you know, 16:34 a lot of the things that we experience in life 16:36 is kind of TV influence, I believe. 16:38 Yes. 16:39 And so here I was in the backseat of the car 16:42 just knowing that I'm going to choke to death 16:47 and drown in my own blood. 16:49 And all my life there have been two things 16:53 that I feared the most. 16:55 One was getting shot, and the other one was drowning, 16:59 and I faced both of those things in one day. 17:03 And so I'm laying in the backseat of the car, 17:07 and I just know, 17:10 I just know that I'm gonna choke to death. 17:11 I just know it. 17:13 And because I'm not sure what was hit, 17:16 I'm not sure what was damaged. 17:18 And so I'm praying on the backseat of the car, 17:22 "Lord, I know you didn't bring me here 17:25 to three days home, 17:27 it's the third day home, 17:28 I know you didn't bring me to die 17:31 in the backseat of my own car. 17:34 And desperately praying, and I'm trying to 17:38 nothing could come to my mind, 17:39 and I'm trying to remember the Lord's prayer, 17:41 and it doesn't come fully, 17:44 I remember I think the first couple of lines of it. 17:47 And I'm praying and I hear 17:51 the clearest voice and the most calmed voice. 17:55 In my head I'm going kind of crazy 17:59 with all of the different thoughts 18:00 of what can happen. 18:02 Did this actually happen to me? 18:04 And the voice I remember like it was yesterday 18:08 what it said, it said 18:11 "This isn't for you, this is for him, 18:14 you are going to be okay." 18:17 Wow! 18:18 Yeah. 18:19 Wow! 18:21 Now we have some pics, that's powerful. 18:24 We have some pictures 18:26 of when you went to the hospital, 18:29 we want to put those up now. 18:31 And just tell us what's going on 18:33 in those pictures? 18:35 Well, in this first picture here 18:39 I think this was right after my surgery, 18:42 when we got into the hospital. 18:45 My mom took those pictures 18:47 and here you can see I'm hooked up 18:49 with every kind of tube you can imagine. 18:52 And under those blankets, I have tubes all over my body. 18:56 Here the doctors actually removing those tubes 18:59 which is kind of more terrifying 19:00 than having it put in, 19:02 because you can actually feel those tubes being removed. 19:06 Here I was actually learning to walk again, 19:10 I had to... 19:11 You can see there in the picture, 19:13 there is a walker that I was being 19:16 taught to use again with the physical therapist 19:20 there in hospital. 19:22 Now this one, that's you're getting out. 19:26 Yeah, this is me going home finally on Christmas Eve. 19:29 Wow! 19:30 You got out on Christmas Eve? 19:32 - Wow. - Yeah. 19:34 Wow. 19:35 Now how did this event affect your family? 19:39 How did this and how did it impact your brother 19:42 because you were in the backseat 19:43 and you heard the voice and it said 19:44 this is not for you, this is for him. 19:47 How did that impact your bother and your family? 19:50 I know your parents had been devastated. 19:53 Well, yes, it was the most, 19:57 I'm sure it's the worst thing that a parent can imagine. 20:01 I got... Once we got to that hospital, 20:03 there were two surgeries that I had to go through 20:05 and a list of injuries that included a collapsed lung 20:09 and damaged punctured liver and bruised ribs 20:13 and you know, all sorts of things 20:15 and I woke up from surgery on Wednesday 20:19 actually four days later. 20:20 And so my parents and my family were heartbroken, 20:25 you know, and my brother wouldn't leave the hospital, 20:30 you know, you have visiting hours 20:31 and he said 20:33 "I'm not going until she's okay, 20:35 until she's all right." 20:37 But in the long run I think 20:40 it strengthened our family, 20:42 because it's literally the worst thing 20:45 that a family could even conceive happening, 20:49 brother shooting a sister 20:52 and being raised the way 20:53 that we were raised 20:55 and having the sort of foundation 20:57 that my parents gave us is not something 21:00 that you would ever think would happen. 21:02 But it was the hardest thing, 21:05 it was the hardest thing going through 21:07 and living through, 21:09 and even to this day 21:11 my brother has a hard time talking about it. 21:13 But I think on the long run getting through it 21:17 and moving past it and watching us 21:21 all grow and kind of cling to each other after that. 21:24 It definitely help to build stronger bonds 21:27 and in a way 21:30 that only God can create, we're better for it. 21:33 Yeah. 21:34 So that's how you guys are coping today, 21:36 like you're stronger. 21:38 You know they say tragedy brings 21:39 people together typically, it brings people closer, 21:43 but that is extremely tough, and I can only imagine 21:46 how frightened you must have been, 21:49 but how comforting that voice must have been 21:51 when you were in the backseat of the car. 21:55 What is that you really want people 21:57 to take away from your testimony? 22:00 Well, as I said there are two things in my life 22:03 that I was absolutely afraid of happening, 22:07 being shot and drowning. 22:08 And in one day 22:11 I had to face both of those things happening to me. 22:15 And you know there is a text in the Bible 22:19 that talks about 22:22 the weapons that come against that... 22:26 the weapons that are formed would not prosper." 22:29 Okay. Yeah. 22:30 For some reason it's not coming right now. 22:32 That's awesome in the song too that I've heard, 22:34 no weapons formed against you will prosper. 22:36 Yeah. 22:38 Yeah, but God doesn't say 22:41 that the weapon won't be fired in my case 22:45 and so what I would want someone 22:49 to take away from my testimony, from my family's testimony, 22:54 ultimately would be that God keeps his promises. 22:56 Yes. 22:58 And no matter what we face, no matter what we go through, 23:00 even the worst thing 23:02 that you can imagine happening to you. 23:04 God is still there just like he was there seconds 23:06 before that happened to you. 23:08 And so when God promise us something, 23:13 we can grab hold on to that and cling to it for dear life 23:18 and I think that is a powerful thing 23:22 that we face especially in a time 23:25 where you're afraid for your life 23:27 or even the smallest thing, 23:29 maybe you're having a bad day 23:30 but God says that he will always be there 23:33 with us by our sides, 23:34 holding us through and keeping us together. 23:36 And so that's what I would want someone 23:39 to take away from my testimony. 23:40 God is absolutely real 23:43 and he absolutely cares about you 23:45 and he keeps all of the promises 23:48 that he gives to us. 23:49 Yes, that's beautiful. 23:51 Now there were no legal ramifications 23:54 or anything for your brother or anything, 23:56 I mean it was accident you know, 23:59 but there is no type of legal accuse or anything? 24:02 You would think so but no. 24:05 They asked about 24:08 whether it had been preconceived in a way 24:12 or he hadn't done it, 24:14 if he had done it on purpose 24:15 in which case I would need to file, 24:17 lots of paper work with the police department. 24:20 But you know once we established 24:22 that it was in fact an accident 24:24 and he did not mean to do that at all. 24:27 There was no legal ramifications 24:30 that my brother succumb 24:31 to other than having his gun taken away 24:33 and filing a police report 24:36 with the police department in our town. 24:41 Now, it was pretty quickly done on that side where we said, 24:45 well, you know it's an accident, 24:46 it definitely was not meant to happen 24:49 and so no, not on that 24:52 and it wasn't too complicated on that end. 24:54 Okay, okay. 24:56 And so what's his take on owning a gun now, 25:03 because those fears with the police, 25:06 his reasoning, those fears still exist? 25:09 Yeah. 25:11 So what is his take now on owning a firearm? 25:15 That's a good question. 25:17 Well, it's an interesting thing because the reason for... 25:21 His reason for actually getting a gun 25:25 is only getting worse. 25:26 You know, there are things that are happening 25:28 all over the nation now. 25:29 Absolutely. 25:31 But now he wouldn't get a gun. 25:36 Now I think, now he realizes 25:39 the God's capability in a way 25:44 to protect us in a way 25:47 because he had a first, 25:49 a front row seat to God's protection. 25:52 And so my brother even though 25:57 he had a real reason for wanting to get one, 26:00 flawed though it may be, 26:03 I think he more, 26:05 the way that he looks at the situation today 26:09 is to just try to keep yourself in line 26:11 and not get in those situations 26:14 where it might lead us 26:17 one of the more typical incidents 26:19 that happen in America now. 26:20 I think he's just trying to be even 26:24 and level across the whole board with it 26:26 and not use weapons of any kind. 26:30 Yes. 26:31 Well, I can't even, 26:34 I can't imagine what it would feel like... 26:37 One of my brothers actually was shot too, 26:40 he got shot four times 26:42 and had just missed his spine as well. 26:44 So I can relate in that sense 26:46 but I can't even imagine what it must have felt like, 26:50 what it must have been like, 26:51 like being that close to death feeling 26:56 like you might potentially die. 26:59 It's utterly terrifying, it's terrifying. 27:04 You know when people, 27:06 when you have that kind of moment on television, 27:08 if you're watching a show and someone is close to death, 27:11 you know it's a television show, 27:14 but you also think, 27:15 oh, I wonder what that person is feeling. 27:17 Yes. 27:18 I think depending on the situation, 27:20 but definitely with my situation 27:21 it's absolutely terrifying, 27:24 because you know, it's so sudden, 27:26 you don't think that it would happen, 27:29 but we can depend on God always. 27:31 And it's definitely strengthened your relationship 27:34 with the Lord, correct? 27:35 Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. 27:38 Man, you have a powerful testimony. 27:40 I hate that you had go through that 27:43 and experienced that 27:44 but I'm glad that as a result of it, 27:46 it strengthened your relationship 27:49 and you've grown tremendously 27:52 and your brother has grown as well, 27:53 and it brought your family closer together. 27:55 Thank you for coming on. 27:57 Thank you for having me. 27:58 And thank you for watching. 28:00 Well, we've reached the end of another program. 28:02 Join us next time 28:03 and remember it just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2016-12-01