Urban Report

Testimony

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Jason Bradley (Host), Yvonne Lewis (Host), Pr. Edward & Xinia Bryan

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Series Code: UBR

Program Code: UBR000163A


00:01 Stay tuned to meet a couple
00:02 that was walking on the dark side
00:04 and decided to give God a chance.
00:05 My name is Yvonne Lewis
00:07 and I'm Jason Bradley
00:09 and you're watching Urban Report.
00:32 Hello and welcome to a special one-hour edition
00:35 of Urban Report, our guests today are
00:38 Pastor and Mrs. Edward Bryan,
00:40 a couple whose testimony is riveting
00:43 we first met Pastor Bryan here at 3abn
00:46 when he came and did an interview
00:48 with our sister network, 3abn Latino,
00:51 he sat in our office and shared his testimony
00:53 with Jason and me,
00:55 and then he told us that his wife had a great testimony
00:59 as well, so we knew we had to have them on Urban Report
01:02 and I'm glad Jason is here too with me.
01:05 Thank you. Good to have you Jay.
01:07 Welcome to the show
01:09 welcome Pastor and Xinia Bryan.
01:11 Thank you. Thank you for the invitation.
01:13 Absolutely, we are just so anxious to find out about
01:19 how God has led you
01:21 all this way to where you are now.
01:25 So let's start with Xinia because... let's just...
01:29 we'll kind of go back and forth
01:30 and find out about your backgrounds.
01:32 Ladies first.
01:33 Ladies first... I was thinking the same thing.
01:35 Were you? Where were you raised, Xinia?
01:38 I was raised in El Salvador.
01:41 Oh... and when did you come to the States?
01:45 I came back when I was... I say, "came back" because
01:48 I was born in New York and at age 4
01:51 my parents moved to El Salvador
01:53 so I lived there for ten years and came back when I was 14.
01:59 Oh, so you didn't have any real recollection of America...
02:04 No, not at all, I didn't speak the language,
02:07 and I'm still struggling.
02:08 Oh, you're speaking well. Thank you.
02:10 Your English is a lot better than my Spanish.
02:13 Thank you.
02:15 So, what kind of family did you grow up in?
02:19 I grew up with my dad, he is an Adventist
02:23 and he separated from my mom so I was raised by him
02:28 in an Adventist home.
02:30 And was your mom a part of your life or was she...
02:33 she was when I came back to the United States
02:36 I moved with her, she was living in Atlanta,
02:39 well, she still lives in Atlanta,
02:41 so I moved and lived with her and stayed with her for a year.
02:44 What was it like being raised by your dad without your mom?
02:48 It was hard growing up without mom
02:50 but I didn't really realize that until I became a mom.
02:55 Hmmm... that's interesting so as you were...
02:58 from 4 to 14, your mom wasn't around.
03:01 No, she wasn't.
03:03 With her absence, you were missing that nurturing side,
03:07 was your father nurturing at all?
03:09 My dad was... he tried, you know,
03:11 he was very nurturing, but he was very strict sometimes
03:15 well, a lot of times, so that's when you go back
03:19 I guess with your mom
03:21 when your dad is the one who...
03:24 Yeah, he disciplined you.
03:26 He was very... yeah... he disciplined...
03:28 Were you an only child,
03:30 did you have brothers and sisters?
03:31 No, I have a big family,
03:33 with my mom and dad, we are four,
03:35 but my mom had children before that
03:38 and my dad got married again so he had four more children
03:42 so, we are a very big family.
03:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah,
03:46 what about you, where did you grow up?
03:48 Well, I grew up in... I was born in Miami, Florida,
03:51 my family is from Colombia, South America,
03:54 I was raised with my mother,
03:57 initially with my father and my two brothers,
04:00 when I was about three or four years old,
04:03 my father became a fugitive and had some issues,
04:07 he had to take off, he went to New York City.
04:10 And he left the family.
04:12 Yeah, so, we were pretty much,
04:15 me and my two brothers, my mother,
04:17 but we had a lot of my father's side of the family,
04:19 now my father's side of the family
04:21 we're really close with them to this day
04:23 but they, you know, I would say,
04:27 almost kind of typical Hispanic family,
04:30 and we also have some islander family
04:32 so they are big partyers and all of that
04:35 so it was a much different environment
04:37 because my mother had gotten converted
04:39 just before I was born, so she became an Adventist
04:42 and she took her Christianity very seriously
04:44 but everybody around us was kind of wild...
04:47 so she left... Miami wasn't the best place in the '80s
04:51 she left, she took us to Atlanta, Georgia,
04:54 which in early '90s, Atlanta, Georgia,
04:56 I don't know how much of an upgrade
04:58 you're going to get lifestyle-wise,
05:01 but we moved over there
05:03 and I grew up going to church as a kid,
05:09 my mother sacrificed in all ends
05:12 to put us into Christian Schools and everything,
05:14 so I really enjoyed my childhood and I hate to say
05:18 I didn't appreciate it though as much as I should have
05:22 I started making bad decisions around 10 years old,
05:25 listening to wrong music, watching the wrong things
05:29 hanging out with the wrong people
05:31 cussing, got into stealing and things like that,
05:38 and things kind of just escalated.
05:40 How did your father leaving... how did that affect you
05:46 back then when you were growing up
05:48 like... how did his absence affect you?
05:51 Well, his absence affected me in that,
05:54 I didn't understand why it was,
05:56 I didn't find out till later on in life
05:58 what the reason was, so, as a kid you just kind of...
06:00 you hear the excuses or the reasons
06:05 that your parents give you trying to soften the blow,
06:08 but as a kid, you're just thinking,
06:10 "He just doesn't want to be around me,
06:12 he doesn't like... he doesn't love me or something"
06:14 but then, when I moved to Atlanta living in...
06:18 living in apartments most of your friends,
06:21 most of my friends in my apartments were African American
06:24 and unfortunately, most of them
06:27 were growing up without the father figure.
06:29 You get to a point where you just... kind of like...
06:33 "What? who needs him?"
06:34 and also you're buying into all the local culture stuff
06:41 which is telling you, you know what I mean,
06:43 to just run around,
06:45 run wild, and it's easy to do that
06:48 without a father figure to sit there and discipline you
06:50 and teach you how to be a man,
06:52 and embracing all the wrong ideas of
06:54 what it means to be a man,
06:56 so those ideas are, "Well, if I fight, if I don't cry,
07:00 if I get into sexual activity, I'm a man"
07:04 so those are the values that I embraced,
07:08 so life started just kind of spiraling real early,
07:11 and I think by 12 years old, things kind of just hit the fan
07:14 because I decided at that point,
07:16 to start getting to selling drugs and things of that nature.
07:19 It's interesting to me how you all have a similar background
07:22 both of you were missing a parent,
07:26 for you, it was your father, who you needed,
07:29 but for you, you had your dad
07:30 but you really needed your mom that nurturing...
07:33 and you needed your dad to teach you how to be a man
07:37 I think that's... what you're saying is very true,
07:42 I mean, Society places value on all the wrong things
07:46 on how to become a man,
07:48 how many women can you sleep with, whatever,
07:51 then you're more of a man in Society's eyes,
07:54 you know, whatever, however you make your money
07:58 then you're a man, they glorify the drug dealing
08:01 and all that stuff,
08:03 and so I think that's very interesting
08:05 that you two have that similar background.
08:08 I think you took the words right out of my mouth...
08:10 that's a really good observation Jay,
08:12 Well, thank you, praise the Lord.
08:14 Because it's interesting as I listen to both of you
08:18 and hear that, you know,
08:21 the same gender parent was missing
08:24 from the home so you would have to kind of
08:27 get your answers on how to develop into womanhood
08:31 or manhood either from your peers
08:34 or from the other parent
08:37 but not from the parent that you needed... to be there.
08:40 Absolutely.
08:41 So, Xinia, back to you,
08:43 did you have a spiritual base,
08:47 was your dad spiritual in the home?
08:50 He was, he was very spiritual
08:52 and we went to a Christian school,
08:55 Adventist School, my whole life
08:58 until I came back to the United States
09:00 and lived with my mom, I was going to start high school
09:03 so I had to go to a Public School
09:05 that's when everything changed in my life.
09:07 What happened?
09:09 Well, I started hanging out with the wrong people
09:11 our school had a lot of gang members,
09:14 Atlanta... back then was starting the gang stuff
09:18 so I kind of became, I guess, a part of the gang,
09:21 it was called Latin Queens, so I was part of that
09:24 and just started hanging with the wrong people
09:27 going to parties and I started using drugs and alcohol
09:31 and all that stuff.
09:32 And how old were you at that time?
09:34 I was 15 almost 16 when that started, yeah.
09:41 What was your draw to the gang,
09:43 like what... I often wonder like...
09:45 why do people join gangs,
09:47 was it because you were seeking acceptance
09:50 or you just...
09:52 Yeah, that's part of it, you want to be accepted
09:55 then... in my case, I was trying to figure it out
09:58 who I was and going to church...
10:02 it was tough because I didn't speak the language
10:04 and I didn't feel welcomed
10:06 so, in the school, it was different,
10:08 they embraced me
10:10 so I felt like I was welcomed there
10:12 and of course, that was Satan's way to let me feel
10:16 that I was accepted with them, no... church is not the same,
10:21 so I felt more welcomed with the gang members I guess
10:25 and just started doing whatever they do... you know.
10:30 One of the things that... I was watching a program
10:35 it's been a while but I was watching a program about gangs
10:39 and I was really impressed with how organized things were
10:43 it wasn't just haphazard,
10:45 like... you do this, you do this, you do that,
10:47 they had a book, they had...
10:49 it was like... it was so organized,
10:53 was this your reality with the gang that you were in
10:57 were they very organized, very structured
10:59 or was it just like a little neighborhood deal where
11:03 people just did
11:05 what the person above them told them to do?
11:07 It wasn't that organized, I guess,
11:10 but it was more like a family
11:12 and everyone protects each other
11:15 and you feel part of a family
11:17 and you will fight for that family,
11:19 you'll think... that's your family
11:21 and you even think that
11:24 that it is even better than your own blood so you defend them.
11:29 So you got closer to the gang than to your biological family.
11:34 Very close, oh yeah, definitely, that was in my head... my family
11:38 you know, yeah.
11:39 How did you get away from it?
11:42 Well, I got pregnant at 17
11:45 and that's when everything started changing in my life,
11:48 I became a mother at a young age
11:51 so I had to drop out of school and try to survive
11:57 because I didn't have a support
11:58 from the person who I was going out with at that time,
12:04 and that kind of left me out of the gang for a moment,
12:09 but I don't know, I started doing other stuff
12:14 not with the gang, but I still had my addictions
12:18 so I was partying more and doing other stuff.
12:21 Once you became a parent?
12:23 Once I became a mom, yeah.
12:25 Interestingly enough,
12:28 the gang.. do they kind of leave you alone
12:32 while you were pregnant, did they...
12:35 No, no, no, no, most of the time
12:37 my house was full of people partying all the time,
12:40 my child grew up, kind of, in that environment,
12:43 and I tried to avoid them
12:46 but they are always following you no matter what...
12:51 they feel like they are allowed to be in your life.
12:55 But they... everybody started going to jail or some died,
13:01 some got killed so and then you started growing up
13:04 and everything... like... flows away...
13:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so there was a big shift
13:11 in who is there, who is still around, and what...
13:16 so what was life like as a young mother
13:20 without any preparation for motherhood?
13:23 Oh wow! it was really bad, it was tough for me because
13:28 I became homeless when I had my child,
13:31 I didn't have a place to go, I got out of the hospital
13:34 without... not knowing where to go
13:36 and I remember calling my sister and saying,
13:39 "Hey, I don't know where to go, can you pick me up?"
13:42 And she's like, "Well, you can stay here"
13:43 but because of my background nobody opened the door for me
13:48 so I was back... one house one day,
13:51 one week in one house, that was for a whole six months.
13:54 With the baby? With the baby...
13:56 I still didn't know how she survived
13:58 I mean, I know God protected her...
13:59 but I don't remember how I bought diapers,
14:02 I don't remember how I bought her food
14:05 because I never looked for help
14:08 at that time,
14:10 and I was always in another world, drinking or partying,
14:15 so, I mean, God protected that child...
14:17 that's all I can say.
14:19 Yeah, yes... it's amazing isn't it how God knows
14:22 where we're going to be, He knows where we are,
14:26 but He also knows where we're going to be
14:28 and He sets things in motion,
14:30 to kind of orchestrate your steps
14:33 even though you don't even realize
14:35 that He's there with you. Hmmm... hmmm...
14:39 So this is about 17 now, you're about 17?
14:43 Yeah, turning 18...
14:44 And you're a mom, and you were homeless,
14:47 how did you...
14:48 where did you go finally, what did you do?
14:50 Finally I found a job
14:52 and then I started making
14:55 enough money to survive
14:58 and I got my own apartment and then I got my own car
15:02 and so... things kind of changed
15:04 life became more stable with working.
15:07 Where were you in your spiritual walk, at that point?
15:12 Oh, I didn't even think about it,
15:14 I mean, in my head, I loved the Lord,
15:17 but sometimes I would go to church back then,
15:21 and when my child grew up,
15:25 maybe when she was around five or six years old
15:27 I started going to church again every Sabbath
15:30 but I would go, you know, after partying the night before
15:35 with a big hangover
15:37 and sometimes they were almost done,
15:40 but I wanted to go, because to me,
15:42 that was some kind of peacefulness
15:46 in my life at that moment.
15:47 Yes, yes, well that's an interesting chunk of your life
15:55 right there, how you went from
15:57 being raised by your dad, then you came back to the States
16:02 when you came back where you with your mom
16:04 or no... when you came back?
16:05 Yes. At fourteen,
16:07 so then you went from being in your dad's home
16:09 to living in your mom's home so you had that transition,
16:11 then you had the gangs, then you had parenthood.
16:15 Yeah, hmmm... hmmm...
16:16 That's... and you weren't ready to be a mom
16:18 because you were a kid yourself,
16:21 so all of those things led you to another point
16:25 and we'll come back to that, what about you?
16:28 Okay, well, I was in Atlanta, Georgia, like I said,
16:32 and I was being brought up in the church by my mother
16:35 to her, that was like the refuge, a safe haven,
16:38 trying to keep us somewhere safe
16:41 and off the streets and what not... so it was
16:44 there were times that... if the doors were open,
16:46 she had us in there, and when I was a kid,
16:48 that was Atlanta First Hispanic
16:50 which was on Hillstreet in Atlanta
16:53 and so... interesting thing is that
16:57 that's the same church where...
16:58 where when she came...
17:00 she wound up but since she... the culture was so different
17:04 I don't even remember ever seeing her there
17:06 I didn't even meet her for another 11 to 12 years,
17:08 but I don't ever remember seeing her
17:11 she just felt kind of like shunned
17:13 by... say by the youth there,
17:15 where myself... I had all my friends there
17:17 but unfortunately that happens in many environments,
17:21 in many church environments you know,
17:22 people gravitate towards,
17:23 sometimes gravitate towards the bad
17:25 and so, you know, I was getting into mischief and
17:28 what not and anyways... say about like... 12 years old
17:33 I started making some really bad decisions
17:35 starting having...
17:37 running more with friends from the neighborhood
17:39 kind of getting away from church stuff
17:41 and even church friends
17:42 except the ones who I really corrupted
17:44 and got into selling drugs. At 12?
17:47 At 12... I had experimented with smoking
17:50 and with drinking, so I mean with...
17:53 but hadn't touched the drug yet up until that point,
17:56 within about a month or so from that,
17:58 I was doing... now I was doing drugs daily
18:02 and drinking daily and smoking daily and
18:05 by the time I turned 13, I have to say I was
18:09 kind of a full-blown addict
18:10 because it was something I did everyday
18:12 religiously all night, while my mother worked
18:16 multiple jobs struggling... trying to keep food on the table
18:19 How did you hide that from your mother
18:21 at 12 or 13... living at the house like...
18:24 how did you keep that from her
18:25 and how long did that last before she found out?
18:27 Yeah, that's an interesting thing because
18:30 I think that she had to work so much
18:33 that I didn't have to put that much effort,
18:37 and she was such a Christian mother,
18:39 such a Christian woman, I mean, she loved God,
18:41 she gave me a great example but having to work so much
18:44 it didn't make it difficult to.. to hide it
18:47 because she was too busy trying to put food on the table
18:50 and give us a Christian education
18:52 but then like... at night... I'd try to beat it to the house,
18:57 I literally even had a spot in the apartment
18:58 so that I could see the headlights
18:59 and I'd recognize the headlights and I'd phew... I'd take off,
19:03 I would just break out from
19:04 from the set of friends whoever I was with
19:06 and beat it to the house so that I could change my clothes
19:08 because they reeked of... you know...
19:09 of Marijuana and I'd smell of alcohol and I'd jump into the
19:12 maybe even jump into the shower, get out
19:15 see her just long enough to let her hit the bed
19:18 and then I'd open up the window, jump out,
19:20 and be back out in the street,
19:22 so it was like that and like all sin,
19:27 it kind of increases... got into other things
19:31 like pornography, addiction stuff like that
19:35 and I got into a lot of fights and things but also
19:36 where I used to steal a lot of things
19:39 I got to breaking into houses with friends
19:41 and so, I got to a point where most of my friends
19:44 were either selling drugs or in gangs themselves.
19:48 Did you ever join a gang?
19:49 I didn't join a gang.
19:50 How did you manage to stay out of one?
19:54 The reason is this because one of my best friends...
19:57 one of my best friends wanted to be in a gang
20:01 called La Gran Familia and they were actually very organized
20:05 but I got into selling firearms, selling guns, you know,
20:09 I started playing with guns, having guns from the age of 12
20:13 to where I wanted to start selling drugs out
20:15 I would have firearms but then...
20:17 I had some friends who I really had strong connections with
20:20 people who sold guns and firearms
20:22 so, I started selling those as well
20:24 but I was selling to people who were rival gang members
20:28 and things like that and then...
20:30 and in selling drugs also
20:31 I tried to stay as neutral as possible
20:34 for that very reason and I also loved parties
20:39 so I would go to parties and I would go to night clubs
20:42 even at a very young age, and they'd be like
20:46 group... a big group over here, another clique over here
20:49 and I had people who I was selling to
20:53 or selling firearms to or something
20:56 and who I was really close with on both sides
20:59 and I was... I'm not... I'm going to try to prevent that
21:02 so I prevented it, later on in life
21:04 you had to pick more of an allegiance
21:07 so later on in life these things got... kind of hectic
21:11 I found myself more gravitating towards one
21:14 but never actually got in it and I was seeing them die,
21:16 I had a lot of friends that would just...
21:18 that were dying off like roaches,
21:19 and also going to prison very regularly.
21:23 The interesting thing to me is...
21:25 if you look at some of these people that are in these gangs
21:28 or some of the people that are selling drugs,
21:30 they're making horrible choices
21:33 but they're really, really smart and intelligent
21:36 and if they would channel that energy into something else,
21:40 they could be CEOs of Fortune 500 Companies
21:44 I mean you got some people that are really good with money
21:47 and really organized... like
21:50 they'd set up that infrastructure
21:51 and everything like that,
21:53 and they have great leadership skills,
21:55 but it's all in the wrong direction.
21:58 Absolutely, and even it's interesting to think of
22:01 I think of a lot of the young people who were in church
22:03 even when I was young, and leave...
22:06 and some joined gangs
22:08 some got into the clubbing industry
22:11 or some got into other things selling drugs and things and...
22:14 and most seem to be very good but it's like God gave
22:17 individuals gifts and talents
22:19 but the devil somehow coerced us to utilize it for bad
22:24 rather than utilizing it for God's cause
22:26 and I think, how influential...
22:29 some of my friends were very influential
22:31 and see... I mean... I got one friend who...
22:34 he left the church and he wound up having nightclubs
22:38 owning nightclubs and stuff by his early 20s
22:42 making 10, 20, 30,000 dollars a night
22:45 and I just think,
22:47 "Wow! that could have been like the next big...
22:50 he could have been the next big Evangelist"
22:51 but the devil has his way of
22:53 luring us away from God you know.
22:55 Yeah, and he baits us with material things
23:00 so you think that, "Oh, this is going to be great,
23:03 I'm going to make a lot of money"
23:04 then you find out as you begin to make that money,
23:07 you're just spiraling downward I mean,
23:10 you have no joy, you have no peace,
23:13 it's just... you don't have any of that
23:16 I look at some of the Rappers that are on... hip hop guys
23:20 these moguls and I never see them look happy
23:23 they always look miserable
23:26 and some of the things that they have to do
23:29 to become household names, are unspeakable.
23:32 I mean, really, they cross certain lines
23:35 to do that and so you see
23:38 just how Satan works, he just baits you
23:40 and then his...
23:42 his whole goal is to destroy us that's his whole goal,
23:46 he'll take the gifts that God has given
23:49 and just make you spiral downwards...
23:52 I heard a sermon, there was a sermon one time
23:54 where a pastor was talking about how Satan works
23:56 and how he leads you inch by inch
23:59 in the wrong direction away from God
24:01 and then, before you know it, you're over here
24:04 and you feel like it's impossible
24:06 for you to get back to God.
24:08 Absolutely. Yes.
24:10 It's interesting when you say, talking... say about rappers
24:13 I think about the fact, I remember being 15 years old
24:16 and getting high with one of my favorite rappers
24:18 and I remember
24:21 as I got older
24:23 I had a cousin who sold a lot of drugs
24:25 and I had one of my closest friends
24:27 once again, who is in this big gang
24:28 and they sold a lot of drugs, and we'd go out
24:30 and we would party
24:31 and spend hundreds and thousands of dollars
24:34 in a night, but in that same night,
24:37 there might be a shoot-out
24:39 in that same night you wonder
24:43 whether you're going to make it home alive
24:44 because... who might be trailing you
24:46 people saw you showing off
24:48 these big stacks of money, things like that,
24:49 and I remember thinking when I was a kid,
24:51 how I used to hang on every word that these rappers said,
24:55 that is one of the reasons why I jumped in...
24:57 I didn't have a problem selling drugs at 12 years old,
24:59 I was thinking, "This is the next step
25:01 in my progression of life,
25:04 of these values that I've adopted"
25:05 and I remember getting older and realizing that,
25:08 "Man, life is getting crazy, this is dangerous,
25:11 we're out there living this lifestyle that I've heard
25:14 through our music and running the risk
25:16 but I don't see these dudes out here,"
25:18 it's like... you know what I'm saying...
25:21 I don't see a lot of people talking about this stuff
25:23 you know, actually, I hear them talking about it,
25:25 rapping about it for all of these years, but...
25:28 That's because most of them don't live that lifestyle,
25:31 they never did.
25:33 Exactly. And you learn that stuff later.
25:35 And then I got friends who are rappers and what not
25:38 and, you know, right there in the city
25:41 some who even owned studios, and I learned that,
25:43 I'm like, "Wow, most of the ones
25:45 who are rapping and talking about that...
25:46 they're not the ones that are actually doing that"
25:48 I mean, guys who are actually living
25:50 and doing most of that stuff,
25:51 I'm like, they could even stay on of tune if they wanted to,
25:54 they can stay on the beat if they wanted to,
25:56 you know what I mean?
25:58 Isn't it sad that... you reach a place where
26:03 you're so focused on getting things
26:08 and fame and all that,
26:10 that you just lose sight of who you are,
26:13 God wants to give us a better life, an abundant life,
26:16 Satan wants to just... he uses, you know,
26:20 smoking mirrors, like, they all look so great and
26:24 everybody is all glamorous and happy and stuff...
26:27 but people are miserable, I was in the music business
26:31 and I got to see how you can make a lot of money
26:34 but most of the people I knew were miserable people
26:38 and it's not because...
26:40 well, it is because you're making the wrong choices
26:46 so you guys, for you,
26:49 you both made some really bad choices,
26:53 we've all made bad choices, so this is not a judgment thing
26:55 but you've made some bad choices
26:59 and yet, you're here today... God brought you here today
27:05 so we got to find out how you got to where you are
27:09 but... I do need to... you have something to say?
27:11 I am dying to know how you guys met
27:13 that's what I want to know... how you met
27:16 because you have very similar backgrounds
27:19 so at what point did your paths cross,
27:22 and how did you guys meet?
27:23 Well, here in the States my mother...
27:32 like I said, my mother is always faithful, she was always praying
27:34 my mother was the type that... I'd get home
27:37 it didn't matter what hour of night
27:39 and she'd be crying,
27:42 she'd been on her knees all night praying
27:43 that her son would make it
27:45 so she was always there praying and...
27:47 as you get older, and you have your routine,
27:49 but my mother had her routine,
27:52 which was always... praying for me
27:54 I stopped really going to church regularly,
27:58 but I would drop in every now and then
28:00 when I needed my blessings
28:01 when I had court coming up or something
28:03 I wanted some favor with God, I'd drop in to church,
28:08 so here's... so the thing is... my mother used to always...
28:10 on one occasion, she lost her house
28:12 and me and my brother had an apartment
28:14 and my mother was living with us
28:16 and she would always bring people to eat lunch on Sabbath
28:19 and so on one occasion I went to church
28:22 and sat there and I looked and I saw this pew full of
28:28 good-looking women just to be honest,
28:33 that's how I thought back then and I told my mother,
28:36 I said, "Ma, if you're always going to be bringing people
28:38 into my house, making me... it's our apartment
28:41 making me uncomfortable, why don't you start with
28:44 those over there,
28:46 why don't you bring some young ladies, you know,"
28:50 my mother being who she is and doing...
28:54 she'll do anything to see her son come into the Kingdom
28:57 some weeks later, or whatever, she shows up...
29:00 and my wife and her sisters were with her
29:05 because my wife... she said she would go to church
29:07 even if she was hungover, she was whatever...
29:10 but she would make an appearance
29:13 so, I guess, my mother invited them at some point,
29:16 and her father who was staying at her house then
29:19 from El Salvador, and they came by
29:21 so we met, but very briefly,
29:23 I don't remember much about her at all
29:25 but later on... I was working at this big event hall
29:29 where we were doing this big Reggae tone concert
29:32 and we crossed paths again
29:36 and that's where we really got to know each other
29:39 and whatever, and fortunately,
29:41 it was very secular,
29:43 it would be like the Spanish club doing hip hop,
29:46 we got to know each other then,
29:48 we started going out, partying,
29:50 and we were two peas in a pod, there were a lot of similarities
29:57 obviously in our lives but... after not too long...
30:02 she wound up getting pregnant, and I'm saying "she"
30:07 as though I didn't have any involvement in it,
30:09 but she wound up getting pregnant...
30:11 Yeah, we know, you had some involvement in it.
30:15 So, anyways, we had a daughter
30:20 so now you have this strange scenario
30:22 where it's like... we both grew up,
30:24 we know... kind of... about messing and what's right
30:28 and we both made tragically bad decisions
30:30 and we both passed the climax of
30:32 the craziest moments in our lives,
30:33 for the most part.
30:36 Hmmm... so you're not any longer at the peak of that... yeah...
30:38 We're not at the peak anymore,
30:40 every now and then though, probably like every other week
30:44 there would be a night where I got so drunk
30:46 where I would go back and revisit the peak,
30:48 you know what I mean? things like that
30:49 but she was a little more... she was a little more stable,
30:53 we were passed the peak, but we had a daughter now.
30:55 Shortly after my daughter was born,
30:57 I got locked up for a few months and got out and my mother...
31:03 my mother invited her daughter,
31:07 took her daughter to an Evangelistic Campaign
31:09 so I kind of got past how we met
31:12 and I'm kind of getting into the next part
31:15 No, good, good, go...
31:16 My mother took my daughter to an Evangelistic...
31:19 my step-daughter now, her daughter who at the time was
31:23 Nine or ten years old.
31:26 Ten... took her to an Evangelistic Campaign
31:27 and she made the decision
31:30 that she wanted to give her life to Jesus,
31:31 in spite the fact that we never had...
31:33 and that she grew up seeing a lot of crazy things around
31:38 and my wife did not want her...
31:40 did not want to let her make that decision.
31:42 I opposed that decision,
31:44 I was like, "You're not getting baptized"
31:47 I remember her standing up for the call
31:49 and I grabbed her and said, "Sit down, what are you doing?"
31:51 And she was like... "Mom, I want to get baptized"
31:53 and I was like, "You don't know what you're doing"
31:56 so the next day or the second day...
31:59 I don't remember exactly, but the same week,
32:01 they made the call again and she stands up...
32:03 And you were there?
32:05 Yeah, I was there too
32:06 and she's like, "Mom, I want to get baptized"
32:09 so she just got up and my mother-in-law came
32:11 and said, "You have no right to tell her what to do,
32:15 if she wants to give her life to Jesus, just let her do it"
32:18 and to me that was like a slap in my face
32:21 because I knew God was after me
32:23 but I didn't want to make the commitment
32:27 I was like... I wasn't ready, in my head, I'm like,
32:30 "No, I need to change so many things
32:32 before I come to the Lord, I can't do this"
32:33 so that was kind of saying,
32:35 "Sorry, I cannot give you my life at this moment, Lord"
32:39 so she got baptized,
32:41 and that's how everything started.
32:42 And it was pretty powerful because at that time
32:45 we didn't... you know... we might drop in occasionally,
32:51 but she would frequently the church a little more,
32:53 but our daughter made that decision
32:56 so on weekends we'd be still drinking,
32:59 hanging out, partying... doing whatever,
33:01 she'd be getting herself ready on Friday night
33:03 closing the door, cutting off the TV,
33:06 putting on Christian music,
33:08 waking up Sabbath morning early and getting ready
33:11 for church and my mother would pass by and pick her up
33:13 even though we were still
33:14 irresponsible and not on the same page.
33:17 What kind of affect did that have on you guys
33:21 seeing her being faithful to the Lord
33:24 and living out...
33:25 Well, it changed me completely because I was like...
33:29 thinking... I think, you know,
33:30 "What am I doing with my daughter's life?"
33:33 And then I already had another baby
33:35 and I was... all the time...
33:38 trying to get out of my lifestyle but I couldn't,
33:40 and I tried to get out of that life
33:44 but I couldn't do it, and now I had two kids
33:48 and I was like, I mean, now I have another baby
33:51 that is going to see all my craziness,
33:53 I need to change and I was so tired of my lifestyle
33:57 I was like, "done" but I couldn't change,
34:00 my lifestyle was more stronger
34:07 than, you know, the desire to change,
34:09 I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it...
34:12 Yeah, and I was kind of... I would say,
34:15 I was kind of in the same place where I wanted to change,
34:17 I wasn't focusing a lot on
34:19 the good decisions that she was making,
34:21 I was just thinking like... "Wow! she's a pretty good kid,"
34:24 because at that age, you know, I was the opposite,
34:27 being forced to do right, and being rebellious
34:31 and I remember thinking I was crazy
34:33 because of the things that she had seen
34:34 and the way she had grown up with all these challenges
34:39 but I wanted to change also because my daughter was born
34:43 and I felt like... I really felt like...
34:45 like the lowest thing on the earth
34:47 I was still getting high everyday,
34:49 getting drunk every day, running around with wild friends
34:52 looking for... sneaking out of the house
34:53 not to my mother, now I'm doing it to my wife
34:57 I'd let her fall asleep and I'd get out this door somehow,
35:01 but I couldn't change, and that was the thing, you know
35:05 you want to change but you want to do it somehow
35:07 without God, I couldn't, as a matter of fact I remember
35:10 one time when I was sixteen, this is kind of going back,
35:13 I remember once when I was sixteen,
35:15 I found myself in handcuffs,
35:16 I had committed a crime with a firearm,
35:20 and I found myself handcuffed
35:24 and I was thinking, "Man, I'm going to get
35:25 locked up for a while"
35:27 and I said, "God," I hadn't prayed in a long time,
35:30 and I was like, "God, if you get me out of these handcuffs
35:32 somehow, you know, I'll stop it all,
35:35 I'll stop drugs, I'll stop selling,
35:38 I'll stop carrying firearms, I'll stop drinking, everything,
35:42 everything... just whatever you want,
35:44 just get me out of this situation"
35:45 and miraculously I got out of that situation,
35:48 like literally, like... I got out of that car,
35:52 there wasn't like going to Court,
35:53 like... I got out, and I remember being like...
35:57 "Oh man, now I got to pay the piper"
35:59 so I tried and I remember it lasted three months
36:04 and I just couldn't, it was...
36:06 I had already been living this life for like... four years,
36:10 three or four years and the addiction was too strong
36:14 and I couldn't stop so I fell back into drugs, into alcohol
36:16 and every time I tried to quit after that,
36:18 I would stop for a very short time,
36:19 a couple of weeks I would last,
36:21 and I'll fall... plunge in deeper than ever
36:23 the only times I was clean
36:24 was being the times when I was locked up
36:27 so, it was one of these things where life had proven to me
36:30 through time, now I'm in my mid-20s
36:33 and life had proven to me that the one thing I knew
36:36 was I didn't have the power to change
36:38 and I want change but I want to do it without God
36:41 so I never got changed and now I'm seeing this kid,
36:45 my step-daughter, making these good decisions
36:49 and it makes you feel like even more of a scumball
36:52 because you just kind of like, "Wow! I'm just really... "
36:55 you know... "I'm just really not... "
36:58 "I'm just a really negative force"
37:00 Right.
37:01 And so what was going through your head
37:03 as all this was going on
37:04 because you were kind of on the fence
37:07 and you saw your daughter but then you saw him going out
37:13 I mean, what was going on in your head?
37:15 I wanted to change, like I said,
37:18 and I said, "I need God again, I need God"
37:22 so I remember one night coming from partying all night
37:25 I got on my knees and I said, "Lord, I'm so tired of this life
37:29 if you change me, I'll change,
37:31 I don't promise anything because
37:33 I know I have tried so many times,
37:35 and I cannot change, so if you can do it, prove it"
37:39 and then... I just felt the desire
37:42 that I need to give my life to God,
37:44 a desire that I didn't have before,
37:48 and a couple of months or a year maybe
37:51 after my daughter got baptized, I started going to some...
37:57 what do they call, prayer meetings, no...
37:59 Bullón Campaign...
38:01 Oh, Evangelistic Campaign...
38:03 With Alejandro Bullón, I'm sure you've heard of him.
38:09 And every time they make that call,
38:11 I felt like I couldn't stand,
38:12 I felt like something holding me back
38:14 so I just prayed in my head and said,
38:17 "Lord, you know, I want to give you my life,
38:18 so I'm not going to stand because I know Satan is here
38:22 and I don't want him to know
38:23 because every time I try to make a change,
38:25 something worse happens"
38:26 and the day came that I decided that I'm going to get baptized
38:31 and it was in the Campaign,
38:34 they didn't want to baptize me
38:36 that day because they said,
38:37 "Hey, you're not going to be in the TV Show"
38:39 I said, "I don't care about the TV Show,
38:40 I just want to get baptized. "
38:41 The thing is... she said the TV show...
38:44 it's because I actually just found out
38:46 a little while ago, is that
38:48 when they did that Campaign, 3ABN was there
38:49 so they were recording it
38:51 so I guess somebody got the impression
38:53 we didn't even know what 3abn was,
38:55 at that time,
38:57 and I guess somebody... somehow got the impression
39:00 or they just thought that maybe she was wanting to do it
39:02 because it was a big deal,
39:03 they were doing it out at Berean Church
39:05 and because it was on TV
39:08 but she didn't care about that.
39:10 No I didn't and finally the Pastor said,
39:13 "Okay, but you have a problem, you are not married
39:16 you need to solve that"
39:18 and I said, "Yeah, I'm going to take care of that later
39:20 but I want to get baptized today"
39:22 and the truth is...
39:24 that I felt like... that was my last call
39:26 I felt like God told me, "This is it, this is it,"
39:29 I mean, I felt like my eternity life was playing right there,
39:34 yeah, it was tough.
39:36 The Holy Spirit was working on you so profoundly
39:39 letting you know, "This is it. "
39:41 Yes, it was like that.
39:43 This is it, it's so interesting to me that
39:46 both of you had tried on so many other occasions
39:49 you were sick of your life, you didn't want to...
39:52 you didn't want that lifestyle but you couldn't stop
39:55 and you said it Pastor, you said,
39:57 you tried it without God Hmmm... hmmm...
40:01 and it only goes to show that without God
40:05 we cannot make these permanent changes.
40:08 Exactly, there's no way... no you can't...
40:11 You can't... we're powerless,
40:13 when Satan has you in his clutches,
40:15 you cannot get out without God.
40:18 We have to have God, so at that point
40:21 you said, "I have to do this now. "
40:25 Yes. And you got baptized?
40:28 Yes, and before that, he called me that day
40:31 and he said, "I have tickets to see this... Pitbull,"
40:34 Pitbull... and it was free for me because he...
40:38 Free... like VIP tickets...
40:39 Oh! the Artiste... Yeah the Artiste...
40:41 Oh! I thought you were talking about a dog...
40:43 I thought you were talking about a dog.
40:46 It was free tickets with all free drinks
40:50 and it was supposed to be like the weekend after...
40:53 I tried... I didn't know... I forgot all about that...
40:57 I didn't even remember.
40:58 And I told him, "No, I'm not going to see him"
41:00 I was trying to talk her out of that... I said,
41:01 "Hold on a week because we've got to go... "
41:02 He wanted me to do that and I said,
41:06 "No, I'm not going, I already made a promise
41:08 that I'm giving my life to God,
41:10 I'm not going to that concert"
41:11 and he tried to push me to go
41:13 and I have a feeling if I had gone that day,
41:16 something would have happened to me,
41:18 I don't know, maybe God will reveal that to me
41:21 you know, later.
41:22 Another interesting thing was, I guess,
41:25 right after she got baptized and on our way to the house,
41:28 basically she was like, "You got to go...
41:32 we weren't married so we can't live together. "
41:36 I'm like, "That's ridiculous,
41:37 I mean, we've been living together for a while now,
41:40 and we have a daughter together that doesn't even make sense"
41:46 but she's like, "No, but you got to go
41:51 or... until we're married... " and so she kicked me out
41:56 and the way that my mindset was in that time
41:58 I was just kind of like... "All right, cool, whatever... "
42:00 because, you know, I get to go for a while out
42:03 and live life the way I want to do anyways
42:05 and then I'll just drop in when I want to...
42:08 hey, better for me... but I remember,
42:10 after a while, I was sitting and thinking,
42:11 "Well, I don't want to lose her" because she was good,
42:15 she was a good woman, I mean, she is a good woman.
42:18 Xinia: she was...
42:20 You're going to get into trouble buddy.
42:22 And so we wound up getting married
42:29 not too long after that
42:31 but I just kept living my life
42:34 the way I'd always kind of like... lived my life
42:37 and it was just...
42:38 I think I was making her life hell
42:40 because she was a recovering alcoholic
42:41 I was still an alcoholic,
42:43 she was trying to be faithful to God
42:45 meanwhile, I wasn't even worried
42:47 about being faithful in my marriage, you know what I mean?
42:49 You were on two different pages...
42:51 On two different pages and now...
42:53 it's kind of like the whole family is switched
42:55 and I didn't want her to get baptized initially
42:57 because I was sitting there thinking,
42:58 "Man, I already grew up with a fanatical mother
42:59 who is always like... praying,
43:02 who wants to run the household in a particular way
43:04 and now my wife is going to do the same thing,"
43:07 so now I wasn't... I was... to a certain extent...
43:09 see... because you grow up but it doesn't mean
43:11 you're an adult or you're mature,
43:12 just because you're older, so I was kind of like this thing
43:15 I was just a... I was a "father" and a "husband"
43:18 but I was just an older version of the kid that I was
43:23 in the house back then,
43:24 but I remember just drastically wanting some kind of a change,
43:30 at one point my wife winds up doing these... the church...
43:35 our church which is the church that she went to
43:39 our home church, my mother's church,
43:41 which was the same church in Atlanta,
43:43 the same one, just relocated,
43:45 and they wound up doing these...
43:47 Evangelistic Campaigns were from home
43:49 so people would... different people in their homes
43:51 would host these campaigns,
43:52 my wife was telling me about it, she was inviting me to it,
43:54 and I'm like, "Yeah, right,
43:56 that's like the last thing I want to go to
43:57 and as a matter of fact,
43:58 I don't even want it in my house"
44:00 because, you know,
44:01 I wanted to show up "high" and drunk like I do every day
44:04 and I don't want people sitting in my living room
44:08 like... I've seen these campaigns before
44:09 this is the kind of stuff my mother used to try to do
44:12 to reel me in, like... I don't want that in my house,
44:15 so I wasn't going, but I remember one day
44:17 I went out and... the first day of it, I went out
44:21 and there was a football game
44:22 and we had gambled on this football game
44:25 and won and I got like... really intoxicated,
44:29 and I remember getting emotional for some reason
44:32 you know, when you've had just too much
44:34 and just thinking about life and I remember
44:36 God telling me like...
44:38 "Man, you're a real piece of work,
44:40 you're wife is doing this for you
44:41 and you won't even support her she held you down
44:44 when you were locked up and she's a good mother
44:47 taking care of the kids, working... "
44:48 so I called her up and I said,
44:51 "I'm sorry I didn't go tonight, I'm going to go tomorrow
44:53 but I'm just going to go to that one though...
44:56 so just don't get like any crazy ideas,
44:57 this is only for one day... "
45:00 well, the next day I woke up and I knew I had too much to drink
45:03 because I woke up and remembered that I had promised
45:06 I would go to this religious service
45:07 and I was like, "Oh, man, I'll never drink again"
45:09 you know what I mean,
45:10 but I went after work that night and it was probably like
45:14 you know, I was always stopping to get drinks
45:17 and to get "high" but at that night I went straight there
45:20 because we had this coming up and I didn't want to show up
45:22 there intoxicated and we showed up and it was like,
45:25 it was awkward as I had expected,
45:28 and it was like the worst preacher I'd ever heard,
45:30 like the dude who was doing it,
45:33 and he was sitting there like...
45:35 there were only a few people there,
45:36 a few visitors there, and he's sitting there like...
45:40 talking... and he's like just looking
45:41 only at me and making an appeal to me
45:43 and I was sitting there, looking at the guy like...
45:45 "Yo, I've actually drank with this guy before"
45:47 you know what I mean,
45:49 he used to hang out with my brother...
45:50 and I'm sitting there...
45:51 Wow! Oh, he had his life turned around or...?
45:53 Yeah, his life was turned around,
45:54 his life was turned around. Okay... okay.
45:56 But see... I wanted to turn his life around some more...
45:59 in a different way, because I'm sitting there like..
46:02 "Man, you know, this brother is in my house,
46:04 putting me on the spot
46:05 about making this decision for Jesus
46:07 and I'm only here because I feel obligated... "
46:10 so anyway, the day went by, I mean, the service finished
46:16 everybody went home and I was like,
46:17 "Maybe this is fine to go out and... "
46:20 it just felt wrong to go out and get drunk now,
46:23 so I just went to sleep, but I woke up the next day
46:25 and I don't know what it was,
46:28 but I felt this peace like I never felt in my life,
46:30 I remember getting in the car
46:32 and I used to love to do what they call, "wake and bake"
46:35 get "high" like... first thing in the morning
46:39 I used to like that,
46:40 and I remember that morning
46:43 it felt like that but a thousand times better
46:48 to the "worldly mindset. " Yeah.
46:50 It felt like this ultimate peace,
46:52 it felt like the ultimate "high" that I had always been chasing,
46:54 I felt so stretched
46:56 and I felt a feeling that I had never felt before
46:58 I remember driving on my way, I'm driving to work,
47:00 and God telling me like, "You know that feeling?
47:03 That's me,
47:04 that's the feeling you've been chasing your whole life
47:06 but you can't find that... apart from me
47:08 I'm giving you a sample now,
47:10 you can have this but you can't have it apart from me
47:14 and you've been chasing it,
47:16 but you can't have it apart from me"
47:17 and I remember arguing with God in the car the whole time
47:20 and the funny thing is,
47:21 I had hip hop station on like I always do,
47:24 but I even stopped, I turned it down because,
47:26 I'm sitting there like having a conversation with God
47:28 and to be interrupted with Young Jeezy or something
47:31 would be disrespectful so I had to turn it down,
47:33 I remember even stopping to put some gas
47:35 and I got back in the car
47:36 and when I got back in the car at some point,
47:37 I turned the radio back up and it was on a gospel station
47:39 it didn't even make sense.
47:41 So you hadn't changed the dial,
47:43 you had just turned up the volume.
47:46 Yeah. And it's on a new station now.
47:48 It's on a gospel station now. Wow!
47:50 Because I had like a Sirius XM Radio
47:51 and I remember driving and I'm sitting there like...
47:56 "God, you know, I want you,
47:57 I want you in my life and I want to be a better follower
47:59 and be a better this and I want to be a better that
48:00 but I'm going... "
48:03 I started making up all these excuses
48:05 and a song comes on and the song was...
48:08 I never heard it before, I didn't listen to gospel music
48:10 but the song, I found out later
48:12 was Dwaye Woods, "Let go and Let God"
48:14 and God starts talking to me through the song
48:17 and I'm making up excuses
48:18 and He's talking to me through the song
48:19 I'm saying, "But I don't want to lose all my friends"
48:21 He's like, "It's okay, let go and let God"
48:22 I'm like, "Wait, wait... but my family members...
48:24 they're just going to turn their backs on me,
48:26 none of them are Christians,"
48:27 He's like, "Let go and let God"
48:29 I said, "But my job, how about if I...
48:30 I got to quit working on Sabbath"
48:31 He said, "Let go and let God"
48:34 for every excuse I'm making,
48:35 He's saying, "Let go and let God"
48:37 so as I pulled to the Parking Spot on my job
48:40 and I literally put my car on Park and the song turns off
48:43 and I felt like God was telling me the same thing.
48:45 He was saying, "Now or never"
48:46 so,
48:48 I made a decision right there,
48:50 I said, "Okay, I'm going to make a decision"
48:51 and I made a decision to follow Jesus Christ
48:53 but I said, "Now you know,
48:56 I got more than a decade where I've been trying to stop
48:59 all these different bad habits that I have,
49:01 I've been trying to quit, but I can't quit,
49:04 so I'm not making you any promises
49:05 because every time I made you a promise, I failed you.
49:08 I'm just going to let you know that
49:10 I'm putting it in your hands and that's up to you
49:13 that... you know... that following... doing that...
49:16 living a 'Christian life,' that part is on you
49:19 all I'm saying is... I'm putting my life in your hands"
49:23 and as the Lord is my witness,
49:27 God did something miraculous that day,
49:29 it's like He stuck a syringe in and extracted
49:32 every desire to get "high" from me,
49:35 after 13 years of addiction and every desire to drink...
49:39 That same day... that very day. That same day.
49:41 That day, He took the pornography addiction
49:44 and he took the sexual addiction,
49:45 he took the alcoholism addiction
49:47 He took... you know...
49:50 I wasn't even convicted on the need to stop smoking thing...
49:52 but by the end of the week, I was
49:54 and He took that that day when I handed that over,
49:57 He just taught me that,
49:58 "Yeah, you can't do anything apart from me,
50:00 but with me, you can do anything"
50:02 now, one powerful thing is that I didn't realize is that
50:07 the day I said I was going to give my life to Jesus,
50:11 and I went to the small group, I went back to that small group
50:14 and I just made mention of it there
50:19 and then I found out later on
50:20 that my wife had begun a 40-day prayer and fast
50:24 because it was just... I was just...
50:28 it was just too hard carrying out this relationship,
50:31 it was her burden, it was her cross and
50:32 she'd begun a pact with the Lord 40-day prayer and fast,
50:37 and with 1/2 day fast and prayer for our relationship
50:41 because she couldn't take it anymore
50:42 and had said that in those 40 days if something didn't change,
50:44 she had to go or something had to happen,
50:45 I didn't realize that the day that I gave my life to the Lord
50:48 was the 40th day. Hmmm... hmmm...
50:51 Wow! oh this is so... you know...
50:54 if you're giving me chills as we were talking about how...
50:57 I can't get over how loving God is,
51:02 how He just... He wants so badly to save us
51:05 and how He will just go to all lengths to save us
51:09 and here you both were, at a place where,
51:12 you know what, if you didn't do it that day
51:16 it felt like, that was it.
51:17 That was it,
51:19 the Holy Spirit was chip, chip, chipping away
51:20 that was it, and both of you
51:24 gave in to the Holy Spirit, yielded to Him and
51:28 Xinia, you interceded for your husband.
51:31 Hmmm... hmmm...
51:33 you interceded for your husband and carried that,
51:36 what was going on... when you heard that from him,
51:39 that that very day he gave his heart to the Lord,
51:42 and that was the end of your 40-day fast,
51:46 what went through your head?
51:48 I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it...
51:50 I was like, "I think he's just playing around"
51:53 She literally thought that I was lying that day.
51:56 I couldn't believe that, I'm like,
51:59 "No, he's just playing around,
52:00 he's trying to convince me that he is going to change,
52:02 and... but then... the next Sabbath,
52:05 he was with his Bible in the church,
52:07 Sabbath School and I was like, "Wait a minute, he's in church,
52:11 he's early... he's carrying his Bible,
52:14 something is wrong," and I couldn't believe that
52:17 that God had made the change
52:19 and so that day, and you know...
52:22 By the end of that week, I mean, by the end of the week
52:24 I had a friend that I would get high with
52:25 every day and he was going...
52:27 he went to those meetings by the end of that week,
52:28 you know what I mean, it was...
52:30 I mean, God really does a work on us, a number on us,
52:33 I wanted to say about the... now... about the feeling
52:36 like God was saying, "Now, another thing... "
52:38 I felt like that was a very real message
52:41 I understand it because I remember even in hearing Him
52:44 in the car right that day saying, "Now or never"
52:45 I was thinking, "Yeah, God, but you don't work like that,
52:48 because I've heard enough people trying to share the gospel
52:51 to know that you never close your door on us,
52:54 that's not how you work" but I felt it very loud,
52:57 "Now or never... " so I made that decision that day
53:00 well about three months down the line,
53:02 I wound up having to switch jobs because of Sabbath
53:05 which is a whole 'nother cool story
53:07 about how God opened up and got me a job
53:08 that I wasn't even qualified for
53:10 working at the Home Depot Headquarters
53:13 doing Human Resources,
53:14 I was just really unqualified for that
53:15 but I remember I had just started that job
53:17 when I got a phone call one morning
53:19 from a cousin of mine saying,
53:21 "Hey, hey, I wanted to make sure you were all right"
53:23 I said, "Why?"
53:24 He said, "Man, because they rounded everybody up,
53:26 they locked everybody up,"
53:27 I'm like, "What are you talking about?"
53:28 He goes on to fill me in that
53:30 a lot of my closest friends were like brothers to me,
53:33 they had all gotten rounded up
53:35 into some drug-trafficking sting,
53:37 I had gotten a call from one of them
53:40 just a month earlier, not even a month earlier,
53:43 about going to make the most money
53:44 that I would ever make in my life,
53:46 something I would have jumped on,
53:47 but because I had just given my life to the Lord,
53:51 I said, "I won't, I'm not going to do it,"
53:54 well, it turns out they were all being...
53:58 there was surveillance going on and all sorts of things,
54:00 they went and scooped them all up,
54:02 ten years, fifteen years, twenty-year sentences...
54:07 Wow! and I just think,
54:10 had I not given my life to the Lord,
54:12 just a couple of months earlier,
54:14 as a matter of fact when I got that phone call
54:16 the Lord is my witness,
54:17 I was literally giving my first Bible Study ever
54:19 to a friend that day... Wow!
54:21 at the very moment, when the phone rang,
54:24 so, you know, God is just so good...
54:27 He is... Amen...
54:28 because His ways are better than our ways...
54:30 Yes, yes, it was now or never...
54:33 And your testimonies show how powerful God is,
54:39 how faithful God is, Yes...
54:41 and how God will bless your efforts
54:43 when you earnestly seek Him,
54:45 you asked him to change your life.
54:48 Amen, praise God... Hmmm... hmmm...
54:51 That is so... so incredible...
54:53 I'd like for you to,
54:54 in the few minutes that we have left,
54:56 both of you, one at a time,
54:58 look into your camera over there,
55:00 and tell... for you Xinia,
55:02 tell that wife that has a husband
55:07 who's not a believer, get her to hold on...
55:10 tell her what to do,
55:11 and you,
55:13 Pastor, if you would look into the camera
55:16 and tell that young man that's searching
55:18 that's getting "high" every day, that's doing... that's partying,
55:21 what he should do,
55:22 we have like 30 seconds a piece.
55:25 Never give up,
55:26 keep praying and trust in the Lord
55:29 He will do a miracle.
55:30 Amen...
55:34 Well, to anybody out there
55:37 who is aimlessly searching for satisfaction,
55:40 for fulfillment in something that the world has to offer,
55:43 if you've been doing it long enough,
55:45 you realize that you're searching for a
55:47 pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... it doesn't exist,
55:51 but just realize that God's plans for you are so much better
55:55 than your own plans for yourself,
55:56 I praise God I got a beautiful family now
55:58 I got a great career,
56:00 now I've seen many friends come to the Lord,
56:04 as has my wife, and God is just so good
56:09 but there are areas in our lives that we would love to change
56:13 and we can change them momentarily
56:15 but we will always revert back to our old ways
56:19 unless we experience transformation
56:21 and transformation can only come through Jesus Christ,
56:24 so my challenge to each and every one of you listening
56:28 is to give Jesus a chance,
56:29 you don't have to change yourself
56:31 and I think that's what we hold back many times
56:32 we think, "Well I'm not going to take that step
56:34 because I'm not ready
56:35 you'll never be ready, you need to realize
56:38 that there is nothing that you can do
56:40 and that Jesus has to do it in you,
56:42 and the second you give up,
56:43 that's when God can start doing something,
56:45 so the best advice I can give you
56:47 is to go to Him... but to give up...
56:49 leave it in His hands and allow Him to do the work
56:53 and the transformation that you can't do for yourself.
56:56 Amen, amen, let's put your website up
56:58 because we have a website for you.
57:00 Oh, I don't have a website. Oh you don't?
57:01 I have an e-mail,
57:04 if somebody would like to contact me
57:06 if I can pray for you,
57:07 if I can help in any way that's my e-mail address
57:09 and also I can be reached at 404-957-7409.
57:15 Thank you so much Pastor
57:18 and you are Pastor and First Lady... where?
57:20 Yeah, I'm pastoring right now in Vermont,
57:23 in Northern New England Conference,
57:25 I have three churches out there and we have a radio station
57:27 well, we stream 3ABN Radio out there,
57:30 School, Health Store Ministry so, God is good, God is good.
57:35 God is so good, wait there is so much more
57:37 that we could talk to them about, right Jay?
57:38 Yeah, we can do a two-hour Special.
57:40 I know, I know, we should have done two hours
57:42 well, thank you so very much for being with us,
57:44 and for being so transparent
57:46 and thank you so much for tuning in,
57:49 I can't believe we're at the end of another Program
57:51 please join us next time,
57:54 trust the Lord
57:55 and remember... if you don't join us,
57:57 it just wouldn't be the same without you.


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Revised 2016-01-27