Take it to the Bank

Financial Infidelity

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cordell Thomas

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Series Code: TITTB

Program Code: TITTB000025


00:01 On Take it to the Bank,
00:02 you'll find ways to get out of debt,
00:09 solve your credit card problems,
00:14 how to make and stick with the budget.
00:19 Simple ways to save...
00:24 buying or selling a home,
00:26 and many more financial matters on Take it to the Bank.
00:31 Hi, my name is Cordell Thomas
00:33 and welcome to Take it to the Bank,
00:35 this is an interesting program,
00:37 which deals with something
00:38 I think will interest all of you,
00:40 it's called financial infidelity.
00:45 I thought I'd give you
00:46 the drama of that type of voice.
00:49 But it's key to understanding something very serious
00:51 in our relationships.
00:53 We are talking about
00:55 top reasons for financial crisis,
00:57 financial issues in people's lives.
00:59 And one of those top reasons has to do with
01:03 not being able to trust in your spouse,
01:08 kind of interesting.
01:09 There's a Bible verse I'd like to start out with
01:10 in this case is from Psalms,
01:12 the Book of Psalms 56:3 talking to about our God.
01:18 It says, "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you."
01:23 When you are afraid of anything,
01:25 when you have challenges and hurdles to overcome,
01:28 put your trust in God.
01:30 If you have a problem with that,
01:32 or if you have a concern with that,
01:33 I would ask you to go and check out
01:35 your local Seventh-day Adventist Church in your area,
01:37 talk to the pastor about it,
01:39 and seek out assistance from that standpoint.
01:42 Remember, if you need assistance
01:43 with someone who knows about relationship issues,
01:47 and about personal issues,
01:48 and about helping you to develop
01:50 a personal relationship with God,
01:53 talk to someone that knows how to do it.
01:55 And at the church you will find that.
01:57 Now, we are dealing with infidelity
01:59 or mistrust in finances within family settings.
02:03 Did you know that the gender
02:08 that's most likely to have financial mistrust
02:11 or do things that are mistrustful
02:13 in a relationship are the women?
02:16 This is from a standpoint of 33% I believe
02:20 is the statistics to 26% for men.
02:24 But are you guilty of financial infidelity?
02:28 What are the things that cause those type of issues to exist?
02:32 And I think there's a lot of information
02:34 that's out there when we're talking about
02:37 this thing called "trust in a relationship".
02:39 Now, let's take a step back
02:41 and look at what is going on around us.
02:44 So all you can do is go to our website,
02:46 and do a search on financial problems,
02:49 and you see many things come up,
02:50 people going through crisis themselves,
02:53 so the first thing we want to talk about today in
02:56 and mention to you is you're not alone
02:58 if you're dealing with financial crisis.
03:00 If you're not dealing financial crisis,
03:03 it would be good for you to even get in touch with us
03:05 and tell us what you're doing,
03:07 so we can share with others what they can do,
03:09 little tools and tips that people can pick up on.
03:13 There was a story that was out there
03:16 with one individual
03:17 that was dealing with these crises.
03:19 And it was interesting as the story unfolds,
03:21 it talks about a specific situation,
03:25 where the husband and wife sit at the table,
03:28 the wife in this case is the person,
03:31 the only person with a job.
03:32 Of course, of their revenues,
03:34 or their paychecks have been cut in half
03:36 because the husband has lost his job,
03:37 he's currently looking.
03:40 Number 1, when you lose a job, what it seems to me,
03:43 and what I'm hearing since 2008,
03:45 people are taking upwards of 18 to 24 months to find a new job.
03:49 Many are very discouraged,
03:52 don't get discouraged never give in, pray about it,
03:55 and go after the job in a meticulous way.
03:58 But the context is this,
04:01 you and your spouse have to talk through
04:05 what's going on in your relationship.
04:08 One of the top concerns for divorce
04:10 in the United States has to do with communication,
04:13 that is number two on the list.
04:16 The number one concern
04:18 for divorce in the United States
04:19 has to do with finances so they're intermingled,
04:22 they are very closely related.
04:24 It is incumbent upon you to discuss those issues
04:27 and it goes back to one of the biggest things
04:30 that we talk about,
04:31 the priorities that we have to come up with, and it's this.
04:36 All of us should be assessing where we're at.
04:39 If you lose a job, assess again,
04:41 assess because you need to figure out
04:43 where you need to go to make ends meet.
04:45 If you were making $5,000 a month
04:48 and one of the wage earners loses the job,
04:52 then you're going to go down to whatever
04:54 the only sole wage earner is making.
04:57 So if it goes on to $2,500
04:59 and your budget is currently at $4,000 a month,
05:02 what does it tell you?
05:04 Assessing gives you a key component
05:06 to understanding where you need to go.
05:07 Now the next step would be,
05:10 "I need to look at what my expenses are,
05:13 and cut back, and cut back."
05:16 It's essential that you look then at the budget
05:19 that you should have created already,
05:20 if you haven't created it, look at creating a budget.
05:23 Write that down
05:24 as one of the things you should do
05:26 in the very near future.
05:28 Now you know where the money is coming from,
05:31 you may have talents and skills that abound,
05:33 and you might come up
05:35 with a different temporary revenue stream
05:37 that will have helped mitigate some of the losses.
05:40 Now if you've done the planning in accordance
05:42 to what we've talked about,
05:44 you would have an emergency fund set away
05:46 so you could help pay some of those expenses
05:48 on an ongoing basis.
05:50 But we still have the issue to deal with that
05:52 we have $4, 000 of expenses
05:54 and we have $2,500 worth of income.
05:56 We have $1,500 that we have to come up
05:59 with increased revenues,
06:01 increased amount of money coming into the house,
06:03 and decreasing the amount of money going out in expenses.
06:06 And you have to look at a variety of things such as,
06:09 who is cutting the lawn?
06:11 Maybe you were paying someone to cut the lawn.
06:13 Should you be doing that?
06:15 It was interesting because that same question came up,
06:18 the young lady looked at her husband said,
06:20 "Why don't we pay someone to cut the lawn?"
06:22 And you can see the response was quite interesting was that
06:26 a typical kind of deer in headlights type of scenario.
06:30 "I don't know."
06:31 And that is not a good answer to have, especially,
06:34 in a setting where you should be prepared
06:36 that thin line item should have been one
06:39 that you wrote off because my budget doesn't,
06:43 doesn't really account for this at this point in time.
06:46 And there are other things that we can look at,
06:47 but we'll address that in a few minutes.
06:50 But we look at the issue of questioning financial trust
06:56 in a relationship
06:58 and they come up with a few reasons,
07:00 why would you cheat financially?
07:04 Why would you cheat financially?
07:05 There are numerous reasons out there but, of course,
07:10 we come up with five reasons
07:13 why spouses cheat financially.
07:18 Financially.
07:19 One is the lack of trust in the spouse,
07:23 lack of trust in a spouse is the number one reason.
07:26 Now if you don't trust the spouse,
07:27 there is a major concern there.
07:29 What's going on to cause that lack of trust?
07:31 In developing trust with a partner,
07:35 it takes the small things,
07:37 small things help develop the big things
07:39 and those big things develop
07:41 the major standard for the trust
07:42 that you have between two.
07:43 So if you start doing something that's distrustful,
07:47 then it will create that discord
07:49 in the relationship
07:50 and it will provide a reason for distrust to happen.
07:54 Number two,
07:55 reluctance to share with the spouse,
07:58 reluctance to share,
07:59 which goes to the issue of communications.
08:01 If you remember in any of the previous programs
08:05 and I'll reiterate to you that,
08:06 the second most reason for divorce
08:10 is communication or lack thereof.
08:12 If you don't talk with the other person,
08:14 you're growing distant from them.
08:16 And if as I do in some of the workshops that we do
08:23 is tell parents
08:25 that if you're not talking to your kids,
08:29 someone else is communicating with them.
08:33 If you're not talking
08:34 to your young people in your lives
08:36 and we deal specifically with the millennial generation
08:40 and how they relate to their Gen X parents
08:43 or their baby boomer parents.
08:45 And we find that at times there is disconnect.
08:47 If you're a wealthy parent,
08:49 it's typical and we're finding that
08:50 some of the same issues are becoming,
08:52 due not only in under-served communities
08:54 but they're coming due in wealthy areas too.
08:57 When kids don't have things to do,
08:59 when they're not involved with their parents,
09:02 we find little things that happen.
09:04 All you need do
09:05 is to talk to any type of police officer or sheriff
09:07 and he'll give you the warning signs.
09:10 Tagging starts happening in these communities,
09:12 they're finding more of it relevance
09:15 in wealthy communities.
09:17 When kids are left out there
09:19 and they don't have anyone to talk to
09:20 or have anything planned for themselves to do
09:23 during the afternoon timeframe.
09:25 From 2 pm to 6 pm is a critical time,
09:28 when kids get home from school,
09:30 and if they don't have anything to do,
09:31 something is taking their attention.
09:35 The media will
09:36 because kids are gonna sit in front of the TV
09:37 and watch and see things that may be not be appropriate.
09:41 Then, of course, that takes them to other areas,
09:43 what are they taking in? What are they seeing?
09:46 What is going on in those minds?
09:48 And if you're not involving yourself with that...
09:50 Now, when we talked to certain parents,
09:52 what we saw happening was just not appropriate
09:55 because some of the parents would just say, "All right.
09:56 Okay.
09:57 I don't really have the time, I'm still busy with work.
09:59 So here is my credit card,
10:01 go and have fun and spend money",
10:02 which is a mistake.
10:03 Now you're running up debt,
10:05 the kids are involved with going to the mall,
10:07 they're spending money,
10:08 and they think that's a way to solve all of the issues.
10:11 And then, of course, not communicating
10:13 provides a wealth of other issues
10:15 when the simplicity of involving yourself
10:17 with your children, with your family,
10:19 with your spouse,
10:21 and talking through specific issues,
10:23 and talking through the challenging issues.
10:25 Ask the questions.
10:27 When my wife asks the serious question,
10:29 I know I need to answer it, I need to address it.
10:31 Even though at times I'm taken aback,
10:33 and my ego is damaged for a few minutes,
10:35 and I figure, you know what,
10:37 I don't wanna deal with this right now.
10:38 I don't wanna answer the question
10:39 but she's got a wonderful way of playing me,
10:42 she knows how to do it.
10:43 And I come back around and we talk about it,
10:45 and I find out that she's right,
10:47 as she was all the time,
10:49 and regardless you'll see the show
10:51 and so whatever.
10:52 I'll have to deal with that issue
10:54 and communicate with her about it.
10:55 But the context is this,
10:57 we need that avenue to build the relationship.
11:03 My wife and I build our relationship
11:06 through our communication
11:07 and we do it in a wonderful way.
11:10 We use the Bible. I have a Bible on this.
11:12 I use it and take it with me everywhere.
11:14 We have a physical Bible at home, we open it up,
11:16 and we talk, and we convey our thoughts and feelings
11:20 about these specific issues that drive,
11:23 that drive our relationship and help us not only develop
11:25 a closer relationship with each other
11:28 but with God.
11:29 And I would tend to think,
11:31 if you're having a communication problem,
11:32 open up the word, talk to someone about it,
11:35 and find a way to get rid of the walls
11:39 that block your communication.
11:43 Number three, a compulsion to lie,
11:46 a compulsion to lie because you don't feel entitled
11:48 to buy things for yourself.
11:51 A compulsion to lie because of greed.
11:54 Remember, Luke 12:15, this is very important
11:58 because it's not about what you have,
12:00 it's not that's what important.
12:02 Happy people don't worry about the money.
12:04 It's not about greed,
12:06 it's what they are doing with the money
12:08 because they have everything in place.
12:10 Happy people have this countenance about them
12:12 that is amazing.
12:14 Amazing because, you know what, I think I'm gonna go,
12:17 and I'm gonna share my talents on a mission trip.
12:19 I believe I'm gonna take a vacation with my spouse
12:22 and build our relationship.
12:23 It's not about the money it's how they use the money.
12:26 And God is telling us throughout His word
12:29 that it is important, it is a critical concern
12:33 that all of us should begin the process
12:37 of understanding what money is.
12:40 It's not the top priority in life.
12:43 How you use it is critical
12:45 because He's gonna go hold that accountable.
12:48 Number four,
12:49 the spouse doesn't feel like
12:51 you're entitled to buy things for yourself.
12:53 So it's the selfishness issue and then, of course, you know,
12:58 why you're gonna buy that?
13:00 Why you're gonna do that?
13:01 You know, all these questions about
13:02 what are important to you,
13:04 should be important to your spouse,
13:06 and we don't have that ability to convey
13:09 as it's accusatory thing
13:10 where I attack you, you attack me,
13:12 we talk about each other,
13:14 we talk to our friends about it.
13:15 It's amazing when you go
13:17 into uncertain environments with these guys,
13:19 we go to our man caves sometimes
13:20 and we talk about certain things
13:22 with our friends.
13:23 It's amazing what friends will talk about that's going on
13:25 in their personal lives at home.
13:27 And, of course, women do the same things,
13:29 you know, they go and talk about things,
13:30 and you find out stuff from your spouse
13:31 when you get home together.
13:34 And it's quite interesting how all of these things
13:36 can involve things, and money, and finances,
13:41 and the stress that's involved.
13:43 We go to our man caves to share,
13:44 the man caves to watch the football game,
13:47 and do certain things so this is havens
13:48 that you find out a lot of information.
13:51 Number five, number five
13:54 is inability to problem solve together
13:58 about money matters.
13:59 Goes backs to communication,
14:01 goes back to the reason why people have a split
14:04 is because they can't come to an agreement
14:06 and understanding of how we spend
14:08 and how we do things with our money.
14:10 It's critical because you have a spender over here,
14:13 you have a saver over here,
14:15 and those two can't come to meeting of the minds.
14:18 And so we have these problems with finance
14:22 and we have these examples
14:23 that are from real life experiences
14:26 where people are saying,
14:28 "I make $7,000 a month, and I spend $7, 000 a month,
14:33 I am not saving any money
14:35 because this person has their collection of items
14:38 that they continue to purchase, and they won't share,
14:41 and they won't help
14:43 in providing a better environment
14:45 for the whole family, much less themselves.
14:48 Those are the five reasons.
14:49 And when you look at infidelity,
14:51 it comes in many different ways.
14:53 For example,
14:54 I got a call from a retired attorney
14:56 who had lost $450,000 overnight from his 401K virtually
15:02 because, from his retirement,
15:05 because of his habit with day trading.
15:08 A day trading that his wife found out about
15:12 in a happenstance way.
15:14 Now there are many different ramifications to that
15:17 but his whole thing went away because of this hidden thing
15:19 that he didn't let his wife know about.
15:22 The other thing you should be aware of is,
15:24 if the spouse that is cheating also does the tax returns,
15:30 there may be no way for anyone to find out
15:34 what just happened with all that money.
15:36 This is key.
15:39 Do you know that when these situations happen
15:45 the context is it's a dire issue
15:48 when the other one finds out what's going on?
15:52 The key for each one of us to know today is this,
15:55 is that cheating does happen, it happens in relationships.
15:57 We know that because the statistics show us
16:02 that Christians are divorcing
16:07 at a higher rate than agnostics are.
16:09 There are issues in our relationships
16:12 that we should be taking very seriously.
16:15 And this communication concern is critical.
16:19 It's critical because people are hiding things,
16:22 and doing things, and doing it outside of their spouse.
16:25 Now, sometimes you can do it by accident, you know,
16:28 I did it by accident.
16:29 I went out one time,
16:31 I went for the sole purpose of buying something,
16:32 and I saw this, I think it's called,
16:37 well, whatever it's called I'm not gonna name the brand
16:40 but a DVD player.
16:42 And it was on sale, it was perfect price,
16:45 I had never seen it that low. Why am I gonna let that go?
16:47 But did I have it budgeted for? Did I plan for it?
16:51 Was it something that I needed? Did I need the DVD player?
16:55 And as I got home with this box under my arm, then it hit me,
17:00 I'm in the garage and I'm thinking,
17:02 "Oh, man, how am I gonna explain this one?"
17:06 And so what you try to do is...
17:08 I left it in the car.
17:09 I left it in the car
17:10 because I couldn't face the issue.
17:12 I left that DVD in the car for a couple of days,
17:15 and waited strategically for my wife to leave
17:19 and go do something else, that was grocery shopping.
17:22 It's difficult because my wife home schools our kids,
17:24 and when, she's home most of the time,
17:26 and taking care of things.
17:28 So there's no way for me to get it in there
17:30 without her seeing me do it so I waited,
17:34 I waited for her to go out shopping,
17:36 and then I had the prime, prime opportunity.
17:40 So she goes shopping, she goes shopping,
17:43 I waited for her go to shopping as she leaves the house,
17:45 then I go and I take that out of the car.
17:48 Take the DVD player out of the car.
17:49 And it's interesting my approach
17:51 because I am doing everything that a child would do
17:55 to hide their behavior.
17:57 I take the DVD player out of the car,
17:59 I take it out of the box, I take the box,
18:01 and I smash it up, and put it in the recycle bin.
18:03 Of course, I kept all of the documents inside
18:06 to ensure that I know how to put this thing together.
18:08 And then I take this into the house
18:10 and try to put it in an inconspicuous place
18:13 that she can't notice it up
18:14 in where we have our materials that we can play the DVD with.
18:20 And it's quite interesting, I set it up, and I walk away.
18:26 When she came home, she noticed it immediately,
18:29 and she asks, "What is this?"
18:33 And, you know, my first response always is,
18:36 you know,
18:38 "What does it matter what it is?
18:40 I got a great deal on it, but we didn't plan for it?"
18:42 And it's hurtful, you know,
18:45 those simple questions that she asks, "Why?
18:50 Why did you do it?
18:51 How much did you spend?
18:55 Why did you have to get this without us planning for it?"
18:58 And it's one of the key issues how easy this thing called
19:02 trust in relationships can get out of control.
19:06 Of course, we talked through it.
19:08 I was able to rationalize it
19:10 that we did need it somehow for the kids to,
19:13 you know, learn music,
19:15 and to supplement some of their experiences
19:18 with their home schooling.
19:20 But it was a hard learned lesson
19:25 because it did impact the trust between two people
19:30 who had an understanding of the fact
19:32 that we need to communicate, talk to each other,
19:35 and stick with that budget
19:36 that we've talked about all along.
19:39 Okay.
19:40 So what I would like to do is take you to nine reasons
19:45 or things to look for
19:47 when you're looking at infidelity in a relationship.
19:50 Nine signs,
19:53 nine signs of marital infidelity.
19:57 Number one,
20:00 the nine signs would be for credit card statements
20:03 that reflect charges for flowers, and or jewelry,
20:06 and or gift items
20:10 that the spouse did not personally purchase.
20:12 Now this gets even further than just financial infidelity
20:15 but it's using the finance as an area
20:18 that could push infidelity
20:21 even further to marital infidelity.
20:24 But you're seeing these credit card statements
20:27 that reflect changes
20:29 and or charges for those flowers,
20:31 or jewelry, or item things
20:33 that shouldn't even be a part of our acquisition process.
20:38 Financial infidelity is bad,
20:41 but it gets even worse
20:43 when it can be used to engage in other types of affairs.
20:46 Remember, one of the top reasons
20:48 for divorce has to do with lust,
20:51 and out outside relationships within a relation,
20:54 and those all surround issues that can be related to finance.
21:01 But these are the nine things
21:02 that I think be interesting for us to talk about.
21:04 Unauthorized or surprise withdrawals
21:07 from joint bank accounts.
21:10 There is a key element here that as we talk about these
21:15 you can see in some of the examples
21:17 that you see online
21:18 or some of the things that you talk to people about,
21:20 one person in the relationship, one person in the marriage
21:24 has control over all of the finances.
21:26 And I think that one of the problems
21:28 that can drive wedges between people
21:32 is this overall trust in one person.
21:35 And if something happens where that person,
21:37 who is in control of the finances,
21:39 goes to the hospital, is incapacitated for a while,
21:42 the person that doesn't know anything
21:44 has an extreme learning curve to overcome.
21:47 Because they don't know the account numbers,
21:49 they don't know the access points
21:53 whether or not we pay our bills online,
21:55 what bills have been paid, how we handle things.
21:58 And it's incumbent upon us, as individuals and as couples
22:01 that as we communicate,
22:03 that channel of communication has to talk about
22:07 how we deal with financial matters.
22:09 So there should be a conversation
22:11 that you both have.
22:12 When I pay the bills from our online account,
22:14 as I'm paying them
22:16 she's standing over my shoulder,
22:17 and she looking on and "Okay.
22:19 Oh, by the way did you pay the water bill?
22:21 And where is the water bill at?"
22:22 And questions like,
22:24 "Why was the water bill that high?"
22:26 I mean, it's like I have all the answers.
22:28 "I don't know.
22:29 Maybe the kids took long baths
22:31 or maybe we watered the lawn too much."
22:32 But, you know, those type of things
22:34 start the conversation of what can we do to cutback
22:37 so we can make sure that things are in order.
22:41 So share that information, talk about it,
22:44 make sure there is no hidden agendas there
22:46 or reasons for infidelity to happen.
22:50 Number three, deposit slips, or bank statements
22:53 that indicate the existence
22:54 of a previously unknown checking
22:57 or savings account in the wife's
22:59 or husband's name only.
23:01 Now, I don't know, I mean,
23:03 if there's trust in a relationship,
23:06 I suggest even that it's a good thing
23:09 that you have a joint bank account,
23:11 you have your personal bank account
23:13 for your man cave kind of things,
23:14 and she has her own bank account.
23:17 I think that's a good idea
23:18 because she has control over what she wants to do,
23:21 you have control over what you wanna do,
23:23 you manage your own budget,
23:24 and the joint account takes care of the necessities
23:27 such as the mortgage, the heat, the light,
23:30 the gas, and all of those other things,
23:32 and the foods
23:34 so that the family is taking care of
23:35 and then you have your own extracurricular activities
23:37 that you want to pursue outside of making sure
23:39 that you have money going to savings
23:41 and preparing for any kind of unforeseen emergency.
23:45 So I suggest that those are the places that you can go
23:49 to ensure that we are sharing, that we are trusting,
23:53 and that we are providing the opportunity for the spouse,
23:58 whether it would be the man or the woman,
24:00 to grow in their understanding
24:02 of what finance is actually about.
24:03 So there's nothing that's hidden
24:05 and that if something does happen
24:07 both sides are prepared to deal with it.
24:10 Where was I now? I was at number four.
24:12 How about number five?
24:14 No, I'm actually at number three.
24:15 Number four, the liquidation of assets, stocks, and bonds,
24:18 stamp, or coin collections,
24:20 artwork without any plausible explanation.
24:22 If you find the liquidation of assets
24:25 something that happens on a short-term basis
24:29 and you find out this goes away,
24:30 there is something going on,
24:32 there is something going on behind the scenes.
24:34 If you remember, what I said
24:35 that if you two of you're not talking,
24:38 two of you are talking
24:39 but you just not talking to each other.
24:41 And this is a key thing to look
24:43 at in reference to your finances.
24:46 When it pushes itself towards the area of divorce,
24:50 it takes on a whole new element
24:53 because divorce gets very expensive,
24:55 and gets very complicated with the separation of debt,
24:58 the payoff of debt because it doesn't go away,
25:01 and making sure that everyone gets
25:03 what they need out of that.
25:05 But we don't want to go in that direction,
25:07 what we want to do is prevent these financial crises,
25:09 and prevent the eventual demise
25:12 of even a wonderful relationship.
25:14 You had to talk.
25:15 And the first step
25:17 is if you can't talk to each other,
25:19 get some resources
25:21 at your local Seventh-day Adventist Church,
25:23 talk to someone there that maybe helpful
25:25 or can point you into the right direction
25:28 for Christian counseling
25:29 and put you back in the place of conversing, and talking,
25:33 and getting those things out there
25:36 so that they can be decided upon
25:38 and can move you in a proactive direction.
25:41 Number five,
25:42 misrepresentation of or failure to mention
25:47 raises, or bonuses, or overtime pay.
25:51 Why would you do that?
25:52 I mean, I would love to go home and tell,
25:54 "Hey, guess what,
25:55 I just received a 25% bonus or my severance package,
25:58 because I just lost my job, was a tremendous amount
26:01 and we can use it now to plan a whole new future,
26:04 open up a business, do different things.
26:06 The key is this,
26:08 there shouldn't be any surprise
26:10 to your spouse when you have a bonus,
26:14 you should convey that to them.
26:15 If you're not telling them what's going on
26:17 from the standpoint of a paycheck,
26:19 then there's a critical issue to deal with.
26:22 There was a story that we told
26:23 I think in a different program about the family that was...
26:27 It was a case analysis of the family
26:29 that brought in, what, $6,800 a month,
26:32 and they were spending $5,900 of that a month
26:34 of which they were more relying upon more the wife's income
26:40 because the husband's income was being garnished by the IRS
26:45 because they had a $15,000 debt.
26:47 And we talked through the issue of what's important,
26:49 was it his $30,000 collectible
26:52 or was it more important to get rid of that collectible
26:57 in order to pay off this more relevant type of concern.
27:01 But one of the things within that
27:03 had to do with the monies,
27:05 how the money is used, if you get pay
27:08 and get overtime pay, or get a bonus, how to use it.
27:11 And if the two people
27:13 in the relationship are talking,
27:15 then you include the party in how that money is used.
27:21 Does it go to savings?
27:23 Does it go to pay off a debt?
27:26 Do we use it for a vacation
27:27 that the whole family can enjoy?
27:29 But if those things are hidden,
27:31 that's a warning side for something else going on
27:34 and we need to find out a way to talk.
27:36 Now if you wanna talk to your spouse
27:38 and the other one is not talking
27:40 there is, there are things you can do, and again,
27:43 I ask you to go
27:44 get the expert assistance in that,
27:46 don't be afraid to do so.
27:48 Many people are more willing to talk to others
27:51 about relationship issues
27:53 which may be the first step in talking about other things.
27:58 So with that I ask you to take these things
28:01 to the bank and save.
28:03 Thank you.


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Revised 2017-05-22