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Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL230028B
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00:00 [MUSIC]
00:04 [MUSIC] 00:09 [MUSIC] 00:11 >> Welcome back to our 2 hours. Sitting together 3ABN today 00:15 live ours. Special guest family member really tonight is 00:20 Antoinette. 48. She is the principle of keeping doula 00:24 agricultural training center, which is one of their schools 00:29 there at capable of farms. And we've been talking tonight 00:33 about I am not qualified woman in leadership. This program is 00:39 for woman who, you know, and I believe that every woman is a 00:44 leader. You don't have to be the leader of a corporation or 00:47 company. You don't have to be a principal. I'm at a school 00:51 where leaders in our home with our children or mentoring 00:55 younger woman in the church or in the community. So so many 01:00 aspects, so many spheres of influence and really a leader 01:03 is just someone with influence with other people in. So we're 01:07 talking about 01:09 what that journey has looks like in antoinette's life and 01:12 what that journey can look like in your life and in my life. 01:16 And if you're a man, 01:18 God gives you influence to in God calls you to leadership, 01:22 that might not look the same as the journey we're talking about 01:25 tonight. But I think the principles we're talking about 01:28 our biblical principles that we can chair and that we can in 01:32 cocaine and use and growing it. 01:34 So let's talk about we have some more stories and more 01:38 things coming up. But let's talk about that preparation for 01:42 leadership. 01:43 I'm thinking back. I don't know what you would share, but you 01:46 shared at the beginning a little bit of your testimony on 01:49 that call of God on your life at the age of 19, almost like 01:52 Abraham going out that called emissions service. So there was 01:56 that surrender. All of that in your childhood was preparation 01:59 for what you do today. But let's talk about some more of 02:02 that and what was your preparation for what you do? 02:05 >> Yeah, it's interesting when you look back and you realize 02:08 like, wow, even the bullying at school has had a small part in 02:12 making me who I am today 02:14 to not run away so quickly when that happens again or 02:19 I'm like I said, you know, I think it's a personal walk with 02:22 the Lord. He's given us different personalities. 02:24 And like you said, we are leaders in different spheres. 02:28 But when it comes to leadership of a group of people, 02:31 especially cross culturally, for sure, there are certain 02:34 personalities that would do better in that position and 02:36 others. So I did a personality test that was quite 02:40 professional and comprehensive a few years ago. 02:43 And it was actually discouraging to me because I 02:46 scored on the opposite ends of where I was supposed to be for 02:50 someone who's in leadership and I am. 02:53 >> And I was like the Lord. What are you doing? 02:56 >> But it's interesting. It's the same for my husband 02:58 and his leadership role. He's director of the mission, 03:01 but he's also CEO of our export company for avocados. 03:05 And his scores also indicated that he would much rather 03:08 thrive on a tractor doing the actual farm work, then lead a 03:11 team. 03:13 So what do you do when you are not fitting all the stereotypes 03:18 or the specifications needed for leadership? And that's 03:20 again, when you need to let go and trust in the Lord. And I 03:24 think personal preparation is that day to day sitting at the 03:27 feet of Jesus, because that is what helps prepares us. 03:31 So 03:32 I want to reach out to young ladies, ladies who are at home 03:36 raising children. 03:38 You may feel like I did. That's what I'm doing is not as 03:43 important as what my husband is doing 03:45 and it's not about importance. And I don't think there's room 03:47 for competition in the Marriott. It's not healthy. 03:51 But I think ladies can be tempted to feel like what 03:53 they're doing is not notice. It's not appreciated everything 03:56 they could that in the days. And and by the time the husband 03:59 comes back home in the evening. 04:01 Well, the husband is out there may be doing ministry or were 04:04 feeling productive, feeling fulfilled. 04:07 And I remember struggling with that. Also as a young woman in 04:10 the mission failed. 04:11 But I always would go back to the word. I always go back to 04:15 the spirit of prophecy, which was a great comfort in my heart 04:18 because the lawyer has a lot to say to young woman that being 04:22 at home at that phase that season of your life raising 04:25 your little children to love and serve. An allergy says that 04:30 work. Is this exalted us the work of the king on his throne 04:33 as the work of Gabriel by the side of Jesus, Ellen White's s 04:37 and that always comforted me that when I'm doing the dishes, 04:40 cooking another meal or running to make another deadline so 04:44 that people can be comfortable. 04:46 All of that service costing us something to ourselves is what 04:50 prepares us for leadership that came from Elaine, turn my life. 04:53 So don't think that these little things are not valuable, 04:56 that they're not notice the Lord notices. And if there's a 04:59 has been listening to me this evening, 05:01 the big biggest thing you can do to keep your life and 05:04 courage just to encourage her to appreciate what she's doing. 05:09 Tell her how much she need her because I believe spend 05:14 receives his motivation, his strength to leave the home 05:18 every day to go. A minister when the home is peaceful in 05:22 the home is happy when the home a strong. And so ladies, 05:25 don't underestimate what you're doing for the Lord in your home 05:30 at this season in your life because God is preparing you 05:33 not just for what you need to do now, but he's preparing your 05:35 children and you can never come to the end of your life and 05:38 say, Lord, I didn't do anything for you if your children are 05:41 loving the Lord and maybe serving him. 05:45 >> That's beautiful. Thank you so much for that. I put down 05:48 spend time in the works and do what is right in front of you. 05:53 What other people might seem is an important or sometimes even 05:56 we ourselves look at that all this is an important. 06:00 But yet God sees that and God knows it's an important love 06:04 that that's beautiful. You referenced there's no room for 06:07 competition in a marriage and that role. Let's talk a little 06:11 bit about working together in marriage in in leadership 06:15 because your husband is a leader overall leader of Cuba 06:19 to farms while your leader of the agriculture training, 06:23 if I have that right, so you're working together. So this is 06:27 you came before, of course, your mom and your wife and 06:31 your. He's head of the household. But now you're 06:34 working together is Co labor's co-workers. So talk to us about 06:38 that journey. 06:40 >> Yes, that's been a little bit tough to be honest with 06:42 you, because I am naturally more passionate time, more 06:45 outspoken and opinionated. And he know when we have our 06:48 personal conversations at home, he understands and we can just 06:53 talk openly. But when we're in a committee meeting together, 06:57 you know, I'm not just his wife anymore, but I'm now his his 07:00 colleague and I run large, busy department and I have my 07:05 opinions. I have my and so to rein myself. And I don't think 07:09 I well, it was a struggle. Do rein myself in completely 07:12 not have an opinion so he can still be the head or 07:17 Kim. The Lord help me to not be so strong that I am undermining 07:21 him or maybe disrespecting him in public. 07:24 So it's a balance. And again, it comes with experience. 07:29 She get to know and talk to each other, but also pray about 07:32 it. The Lord is teaching and he does healthy it to sense the 07:36 mood sense to what you could should and how you should say 07:39 it. 07:41 But it's very interesting. And so I think it's very 07:43 important that couples realize when they're working together 07:45 side by side that they are a team, they're not in 07:48 competition with each other and you don't have to force their 07:52 will on the other person. When you can 07:55 hear each other 07:57 and be willing to say I'm sorry as well when you have 08:00 overstepped that boundary and I think it goes a long ways to 08:03 healthy to reconcile and to be stronger together. Yeah, 08:07 not everyone is in a position where we work side by side with 08:10 her husband. But if you are, they can be joyful. But yeah, 08:15 there are things we need to be aware of. 08:18 >> He's a personal question because Greg and I have that 08:21 precious experience for we get that were married, of course, 08:24 has been a wife. But we work together. We're in a lot of the 08:27 same meetings. We come together when making decisions. And so 08:32 there's that I'm learning how to do that process. It totally 08:36 understand that. And actually here at reviewed, we have a lot 08:39 of families. So we have a lot of husbands and wives who 08:42 worked together in ministry, sometimes in the same 08:45 department many times in different departments, but 08:47 still working together, which is I think the privilege of 08:52 being able to do ministry with your best friend is just 08:55 amazing. But yet, as he said, there's times where we have to 08:58 ask forgiveness or learn how to navigate that one question I 09:02 would have is 09:03 how do you or maybe you don't? I don't know. How do you do 09:07 with taking ministry home? 09:10 In other words, you and your husband both do ministry all 09:12 day at work. But then your bringing that or maybe you 09:16 don't do bring that home like they have a burden network or 09:21 something you're dealing with now, you're going to bed and 09:23 are you still carrying the same burdens or how do you handle 09:26 that? Because it's like you never get away from that. 09:28 It's at work and it's a home. 09:30 >> And I think that's a very unique challenge that we do 09:32 have when our ministry, 09:35 we do have a 95 job. Our ministry is our life. And so it 09:39 becomes very difficult to have those boundaries. And I think 09:43 precious ministries like restoration international that 09:46 teach couples how to half that us time and think about us, 09:50 not me or you. I think it's very valuable. 09:54 But now it's true. We do carry that so much with us. And when 09:58 we're home, we talk a lot. I'm when I'm at home. I share 10:01 with the girls Santa. What's been happening in my daily use. 10:05 Examples of what's happening at the school is learning 10:07 opportunities for them as well to pro since with mom and that. 10:11 So our children learn from us how we deal with things and 10:15 things that are private. It's, you know, my husband and 10:17 I will talk to ourselves. But then, yes, we do need to 10:20 learn to put some things away and say, you know what, we have 10:24 to now put that to the side a little bit and focus on just 10:27 being a family and it's going to be different for families to 10:30 families are different. 10:32 But now I hear what you're saying. It's windy. Leave 10:34 ministry behind. What's your identity is? It's always just 10:39 Jason Antoinette, 10:40 key dual out or is there a time when we can put that to the 10:43 side a little bit and just focus on just being a family 10:46 man and taught you mention the word identity. Let's talk about 10:49 identity. How do you find your identity as a woman as a 10:53 leader? 10:55 I've struggled with that through the years because I 10:57 left between worlds and I serve with its that mean I serve the 11:02 poorest of the poor. But I also have the very wealthy come to 11:05 my home. 11:06 And so, you know, who am I 11:11 when I come to the very poor, you know, I can look like a 11:15 very wealthy because comparatively, I am very 11:18 wealthy. Well to do like it looks like I don't have any 11:22 needs. Life is easy. How do I relate to that person and give 11:26 them hope that what I'm going through the large, his faithful 11:30 to me is faithful to them as well. 11:33 But then I have the very rich come to my home as well. 11:36 And I struggle to relate to them because I don't know what 11:40 shopping in Dubai is like. And how can God use a little 11:44 humble me and my little home to minister to them. So it can be 11:48 a struggle sometimes to know who am I had to a fit and how 11:51 to address how do I do my hair? How do I relate to both worlds 11:55 where I'm not overdone or underdone? But I think when the 11:58 focus is a little bit less on our south and on Jesus, yeah, 12:03 I think we can be free to be who he's making us to be 12:06 without feeling like I have to conform to look a certain way 12:10 in this situation and look a certain Winona the situation 12:13 because then we kind of have a split identity and I don't 12:15 think that's healthy at all. 12:17 Another thing I think that complicates things is social 12:20 media. 12:21 I would like to speak about that a little bit. They cause 12:24 there's so much pressure today on young ladies, especially to 12:27 look a certain way to live a certain lifestyle. And I think 12:32 we need to be free in Jesus Christ to pursue. He has made 12:36 us to be to fulfill the goals that he has for us. Social 12:40 media is a blessing, especially in the important mission Field 12:44 where you can stay in touch with friends and family. 12:46 But I'm I'm a little bit concerned when I realized how 12:49 much time people spend on their devices 12:53 and when a young woman, especially is just infused 12:56 constantly with what to expect patients are, and it may not be 13:01 exactly what he says is expecting a fire and there's 13:04 going to be a tremendous battle. 13:06 And I made a decision early on in my married life to step away 13:10 from social media. In the beginning, it was Facebook and 13:13 I'm not saying we have to give up on social media. But for me 13:16 in my situation, especially when I went through periods of 13:19 loneliness with one click, I could be connected and I could 13:23 see what everyone is doing all the time. And I was spending so 13:25 much time on Facebook that it was taking away from my home 13:28 from my ministry. And I had to make a decision to stop and 13:31 step away from that. And I'm not sorry I did because that 13:34 freed me up to start looking around the world that's around 13:38 me to observe, to learn and to be available and we were not 13:42 available. It becomes difficult to minister 13:47 so identity. Who am I 13:51 loved by my creator. I was given a future and I hope I'm 13:55 not perfect. I make mistakes. But he has given me a beautiful 13:59 life. It's not free of trial or difficulties. But and look at 14:05 my children. I look at my husband. I look at the little 14:08 girl that I was able to close and feed and they left and is 14:13 under a tarp. 14:14 They do have a home. 14:16 I have never had joy like I did that day when I went to shop 14:19 for her things that I you know, it never pay money for for my 14:23 own children. At that moment, it was my greatest joy to buy 14:26 that little pair foods for that little girl. 14:30 And when I put it on her feet, she was so happy and she ran to 14:33 show her mom. 14:35 And so just being available to see the little things. I think 14:39 we need to be careful. Social media can. Rob us of that? 14:44 You mentioned 14:47 perspective. I don't know if that was the word used, but 14:52 >> so many people have an outside perspective of who we 14:56 are. So if we get our identity from Jesus, right, that's where 15:00 we get our identity. Go back to the word of God. 15:04 The word says who you are in Christ and if we get that in 15:07 him, not social media, not these other areas, 15:10 but oftentimes we might seek validation from 15:16 it depends on your position. Maybe you've seen foundation 15:19 from the board of directors. Few answer to that more you 15:22 seek validation from your boss or a validation from the pastor 15:26 of the church or even validation from your friends or 15:30 acquaintances. 15:34 How do we 15:36 pull away from that external validation and just to tease us 15:40 for validation? And is there a place maybe that we do need 15:43 external validation? 15:45 >> I think is leaders. That's one thing we have to learn as 15:48 our staff. Our team needs validation. They need 15:51 appreciation because your team without you remembering their 15:55 contribution, they burn out on you pretty quickly. 15:59 Validation is very important to know that we are still needed, 16:02 that we are still contributing. But if it doesn't come, then 16:07 are we just going to give up? Are we just going to walk away 16:10 from what the Lord is asking us to do? 16:13 So I would say Martin Luther is an example who stood without 16:17 validation before world of leaders Kings potentates. 16:22 And in that moment, the only validation that he had was the 16:25 word was Christ was the holy spirit and he was able to stand 16:30 through the strength that Christ gave him in that moment 16:32 when he had to stand alone. And I think sometimes it's 16:34 leaders, leadership is a little bit of a lonely position. 16:37 It is. 16:38 There's not a lot of people that share that responsibility 16:43 where the buck stops, if I can put it like that. So while 16:47 leadership is a privilege and it has advantages that come 16:50 with that of a broader horizon for more opportunities, 16:55 leadership is also a lonely position and so validation 17:00 while it is important to cannot be the thing that motivates you 17:03 cannot be the thing that you depend on. 17:05 Because when it's not there, then why'd he do? 17:10 >> No, that's so important. Remember when Greg and I 17:12 stepped into the leadership, someone in a us I came up and 17:16 said, 17:17 I'm sorry, and I thought that's not what you normally say. 17:20 You would say, well, I'm praying for you or 17:22 congratulations or something, right. And they said and then 17:25 they quantified it and they said you're going to find it's 17:28 very lonely. And I thought, what are they talking about? 17:31 You know, we still work with the same people. What a 17:33 tremendous privilege and a blessing to be part of a teen 17:36 to be sharing the gospel. But leadership can be lonely. 17:40 Can see not able to share all that as you mentioned. 17:43 Absolutely. I love what you said. I wrote down, give 17:46 validation, 17:48 but don't expect it 17:51 like Martin Luther being willing to able to stand for 17:54 principle. So let's talk for just a moment. Couple more 17:59 stories, maybe thinking of you daughter. We've been talking 18:02 about your family and time when she was really sick. Can this 18:07 Gehring us up for that being in a foreign country that place 18:11 where you can get the help that you would expect maybe here in 18:14 states? 18:16 >> So again, you know, we're all so different and we all 18:19 have different walks to friend levels of ability and 18:23 advantages and opportunities. 18:26 So for us as a family, we have not had medical insurance just 18:31 because we have not really received a salary and all these 18:34 years of ministry. So medical insurance is not something that 18:37 we can afford. 18:39 And so I remember working in early years with other families 18:43 who could afford it and would insist on it. And I just made a 18:47 decision early on in my life that if the Lord is asking you 18:50 to do something in these blessing, you and your able 18:53 then use your common sense and do it. But if you can, 18:56 the Lord is not going to forsake you. And so that became 18:59 very personal to me. When my daughter started experiencing 19:03 anaphylactic shock, she's very allergic to bee stings. And 19:08 for us living on a farm in Africa, there's a lot of bees 19:12 and they love our home. So every year we have an invasion 19:15 where we can really move around in the home because they're 19:18 everywhere in the windows, on the floor, on the big hits, 19:21 on the carpets everywhere. 19:23 And so we have to wait until evening time until they settle 19:25 down and calm down, then we can start removing them. 19:29 So we have never dealt with anything like it where not 19:34 medically trained. 19:35 So when she was stung a few years ago, the first time and 19:39 she had a reaction, 19:41 I could see it was going bad really quickly. She was 19:46 completely swollen up with hives everywhere getting 19:49 uncontrollably. Her nose was completely swollen, shot. 19:52 Her 8 years are big, like cabbages. All eyes were social, 19:56 swollen shut. 19:57 All we had was a few little antihistamine tablets and a 20:01 little bit of expired. Benadryl, I'm Sarah. 20:07 The lawyer pulled or through. He kept her throat open all 20:11 night week after drinking and sipping water must have been 20:15 terrifying as a mom and we had concerned family on the other 20:20 side coaching us. They are medically trained, but they're 20:22 on the other side of the world and they're like, why are you 20:25 not on the way to the hospital 20:27 and how do we explain to them how far the hospital is and 20:31 what inadequate care there can sometimes be in the small 20:34 settings. 20:36 And so you risk being looked at as an irresponsible parents 20:40 and some of these things. He can't explain to people. 20:43 But, you know, this is a situation that you're in right 20:45 now and all you can do is cry out to God to help you. And he 20:48 did. He pull her through. And I'm very thankful for a 20:50 very loving friends and family who supplied it immediately 20:54 with epi pens and at the net friend and IV bags and things 20:58 and 3 years managed to go by and she was fine. She was 21:02 careful, but he was fine. 21:03 And then just a few short weeks ago, she was stunned again in 21:06 the kitchen while she was making lunch for us on her 21:09 chest. 21:10 And the same thing happened except this time it was horse 21:14 and 21:15 the first at the Pan Shot didn't do much. And we had to 21:18 follow up with the second one. When she fainted in 21:21 her blood pressure was dropping very fast and 21:25 we tried inserting IVs, but the needles were to begin her 21:29 little things that constricted 21:31 very thankful for caring neighbors who are there on 21:33 monitoring her oxygen. And 21:36 and I remember this crying out to the Lord and and that moment 21:42 you are tempted 21:44 to question the Lord. Yeah. Why? Why do I have to be here? 21:50 Why this house that the bees love so much? What if I lose 21:54 her? What will I do 21:57 now? I know that the Lord is good and he did pull her 22:01 through life. Pace him for that. 22:04 But they are missionary friends that half lost children. 22:08 Yeah, to malaria. 22:10 Accidents 22:12 is got still as good as he was before that happened. Is he 22:16 still compassionate? 22:19 And I think they will answer us today and say, you know what, 22:23 it was the hardest thing, the most tragic thing that we've 22:25 ever had to go through. But we know our God. We know he is as 22:29 good today as he was before that. 22:32 And so we did 22:35 see how she pulled through got saved her again. But the 22:38 temptations that come to me in that moment, Laura, can't we 22:41 just go somewhere where my child can be safe? Fun. 22:44 And so here's a challenge to people as well, especially in 22:47 foreign said things is you do whatever you can. We have 22:51 screens in front of the windows. The we tried to steal 22:54 the old Rufus much as we can. 22:57 But when would would do it? Do you do 22:59 when you don't have 23:02 the facility is closed by for the help that you need 23:06 you? Do you walk away from the mission 23:08 or do you continue? And we have chosen to continue and I cannot 23:12 tell anyone what to do. It's between them and God. And it's 23:15 very personal, but I can testify that God is faithful 23:19 and that he is helping us. 23:21 And I pray that I will still be faithful. Should something more 23:24 serious happened later on? And I I don't want to try and 23:27 predict anything because God doesn't deal with us like our 23:30 fears deal with us. We try him for office. I things but God 23:34 doesn't work like that. And so I just pray that God king, 23:38 help us learn from these past experiences to build our faith 23:40 for the future. That's powerful testimony. 23:44 >> I know you said that you can't tell other people clearly 23:48 because everyone has to pray each family with them and God. 23:52 But how if you can share any of the things that lead you in 23:56 your family took the decision? Yes, we want to say here, 23:58 yes, even though there is a risk and would do everything we 24:01 can to protect like you through the screens and on the windows 24:04 and other things. But how did you know, I guess in your heart 24:08 it was the right decision for your family to stay. 24:11 >> So early on in my life when I have been praying to be used 24:15 by God, God didn't answer me right away. 24:19 And I think got often works like that. He's not going to 24:21 tell you ahead of time at a certain time. I want you to go 24:25 here and I want you to do this kind of work. 24:27 God usually comes through at the last minute, any open some 24:32 very specific door for you to walk through. And I think 24:34 there's a purpose for that. 24:36 That is so that, you know, you did not fabricate this 24:39 yourself. 24:41 God did. And this is where God wants you to be so that when 24:44 those tough times come, you are reminded, oh, I didn't put 24:48 myself here. God brought me here, got cut me this calling. 24:52 And the word tells us that he takes responsibility for that. 24:55 Cost them a proper safety for our 24:58 while being to provide for our needs. 25:01 The kids into everyone's experience comes those tough 25:04 times when you I down and you are maybe feeling burnt out and 25:08 then they thought, OK, God brought me here 25:12 and he has since entered the placement. 25:15 Do I just walk away and the work and potentially suffer 25:19 or am I going to be faithful in my post? But I'm going to 25:22 humble myself. I'm going to take time to pray harder than I 25:25 prayed before. And my experience has been. He pulls 25:29 you out of that again. 25:30 You don't stay in that valley. You come out and you come out 25:34 stronger because you learn things. 25:36 And you've learned, especially that he's faithful. I believe 25:40 that if God wants you to move on, 25:43 Callaway says that 25:45 if got sees that for your personal growth, it's time for 25:48 you to move on. He will set things to start happening to 25:51 release you and to move you on. And I think that's very 25:54 important that we stay faithful to our commitment that we stay 25:58 faithful to the work that he's given us to do and then watch 26:01 Providence through his providence. He will indicate to 26:04 us whether it's time to move on or if it's still time to hang 26:07 in there, pray more and seek to learn what we need to learn in 26:11 the situation. 26:14 >> A man just taking notes here. So what you're I wrote 26:17 down the word, the word burnout, as you were talking 26:20 there, talk to us just a bit about burnout in leadership. 26:23 And I think that might be even more common, maybe in ministry 26:27 leadership because maybe in the public's sector, maybe not 26:31 necessarily the sometimes we have more parameters in place. 26:34 But the ministry sometimes are expected to be 24 7 on. So talk 26:37 to us about that. 26:39 >> So something that my husband and I have learned over the 26:41 many years that we've been there. I mean, my husband's 26:43 been there, 31 years now, I've been there. 22 years. 26:47 He's said to have to pace yourself leadership team. 26:50 And so if you to be on Kobe on everyone else's McCall 26:57 and yet you need to know your boundaries as well. 27:00 Someone who gives cans gives and burns out 27:05 cannot necessarily fulfill all that got one of them to if they 27:10 have been a little bit more in tune with where they are right 27:13 now and when they need to take a break, 27:16 James, like this, an example that comes to my mind games 27:19 like this. One of those people that burned out completely, 27:22 he did and we are all called to give all and burnout for God, 27:26 but not in the burnout. The sense that we bring on our 27:28 south sometimes because we have never learn to delegate because 27:32 we have never learned that it's OK to go home at the end of the 27:36 day and call it a day because tomorrow will be there again 27:39 and work ups. Yes, I think wisdom comes with experience, 27:45 but I do see some of our young people, especially who are 27:48 still new 27:50 and they are so driven and bless their hearts to God needs 27:53 people who are driven and committed. 27:56 But I think we just need to be careful also that we take that 27:59 time to be with him, 28:01 because that's where our strength comes from. And then 28:04 to make sure that we have time for our family because the 28:07 family unit needs to be strong and healthy for the ministry to 28:11 be healthy. And I think when those 2 things are healthy 28:14 and it will take care of ministry, whether it's long 28:17 hours are not so long. 28:20 >> And this kid, what about? And we'll go back to another 28:22 story in a moment here. But what about someone who's 28:25 saying? My husband feels called and commission service for 28:29 mission work, but I'm not sure that's the calling on my life. 28:33 What would you say? How did you navigate those waters? 28:37 >> Yes, that's a tough one. I remember talking to a lady 28:39 ones. Her husband filed call to go do mission work overseas 28:44 and she had no desire. She had no burden on her heart and she 28:49 was talking to me. She's like, what do I do? Do I just a 28:51 minute 28:53 now it's wise. We are asked to submit in a healthy way 28:56 submission to a loving husband who is wise in the Lord, 29:00 someone who is trying to guide and leave his family as the 29:03 Lord is leading. 29:05 And yet I caution women also to not have a blind submission but 29:11 uninformed submission based on their faith and a walk with the 29:15 Lord. 29:16 What I'm trying to say is I believe God calls, not just the 29:19 husband necessarily but a family. And if the husband is 29:23 why I stand, he's going to realize that it's the family 29:26 behind him that empowers him from ministry as well. So I 29:30 would advise a wife to talk openly with her husband into 29:34 asset. They per maybe put aside special seasons of fasting and 29:39 praying and studying the word, the testimonies to see what 29:44 he's got asking the husband to do and how the wife can help 29:47 him fulfill that mission so that it's a team effort and not 29:50 him with a family going. 29:53 That would be my first advice. The second thing is the husband 29:56 needs to realize that a lot rests on the shoulders of the 29:59 life and it is very important that she understands her will. 30:02 She understands what her part is and that he support her as 30:06 well because she will support him in ministry. 30:10 I'm reminded of William Carey, an early missionary 30:14 who left to go to India and his wife. 30:17 I never felt called to never felt part. And it was a very 30:22 sad story. 30:24 So I would say 30:26 prayer is very key in this communication to make sure 30:30 because I believe God last woman is my to see loves men. 30:33 And again, it's not a competitive issue at all. 30:35 And I believe God can put a burden on a woman's heart, 30:38 too, so that together they are united before they start 30:42 ministry so that they can come through it together. At the end 30:45 to me ministry is not going to be your whole life forever, 30:48 right? You need to come out the other and hold intact life 30:52 after that chapter. And so I think start together well, 30:56 in the beginning, go through it together. There's going to be a 30:58 lot of talk in war to pull you apart, but to come out together 31:02 at the other end as well. I love that. You know, 31:05 sometimes I was thinking that I kind of laughed because, 31:07 you know, sometimes families. 31:09 >> Unfortunately, though, they'll have their children and 31:11 they grow up and they go off to college and the parents become 31:14 empty nesters and they look at each other and say, who are 31:17 you? Well, how do we grow apart these years? So the same thing 31:22 with ministry. It can be, you know, being in fall together. 31:26 You don't want to come out on the other side and be who are 31:28 you and who did I marry and you want to grow to get there and 31:32 minister together and do that. United Leanne grow stronger. 31:36 And then at the other end, your marriage is so much stronger, 31:39 so powerful. 31:40 >> And we're not immune to marriage issues. You know, 31:45 there's a lot that pulls on us and takes us away from each 31:48 other so that we are so busy that we can come together. 31:51 So it's a constant battle to make time to prioritize and to 31:55 say, you know what, from Rye union from our home comes 31:59 ministry and not the other way around. 32:02 And so we need to make time to come together again to be 32:05 united. And I think a husband and a wife that can pray 32:07 together the cast. You know how the old word go sleep. You get 32:11 when they prayed together, they stay together. And it's true. 32:14 It's it's only through prayer that we can humble ourselves 32:17 with each other and maybe talk about and get the words to 32:20 express what sometimes is so difficult. And it's the holy 32:23 spirit that has that. And if we don't make room for the holy 32:26 spirit to help us, then it becomes so much harder to 32:29 understand each other and talk to each other. Absolutely. 32:32 We're going to spend some time in prayer. 32:36 >> Toward the end of the program, we want to pray for 32:38 you and what you're going through and what your 32:40 challenges are. But before we get there, I think we have time 32:43 for another story. So let's talk. I don't know her name, 32:46 but this is I think she's a student of yours, a girl. 32:49 Um. And there was an issue with an older man. 32:53 >> Yes, this is a very heartrending situation for me 32:57 as well. One that I didn't know exactly what I should and 33:00 shouldn't do 33:02 so high in label this type a personality by people. And it's 33:07 not a title I enjoy. I think life shapes us and makes us who 33:11 we are 33:12 and with a or type A or another type. We've got ones, all of us 33:16 in ministry. He needs all of us. 33:20 So over the years I have really try to cultivate the gentler 33:24 side, 33:26 the more patients side and time God is good and he is helping 33:31 mean teaching me. 33:34 But they are times when the fierce are type a personality 33:37 is needed in ministry. And this happened earlier this year when 33:41 I had a young student 33:43 who is being influence and more later, when you are worth that 33:48 I've learned lately is groomed. 33:50 >> She's 14 years old and she was physically abused by her 33:55 own relatives a few months ago before joining our school. 33:58 And so we had a foreign student attending our Bible training 34:03 school at the time. He's in his late 30's. He's the father of 34:06 3. He's from a foreign country, like I said, 34:09 and he started taking real special interest in this girl 34:11 as her spiritual mentor as an elder, 34:15 which would be OK if it wasn't a healthy context. But this 34:20 became unhealthy where he with single her out letter use his 34:23 phone here later, I found out he was giving her money, 34:27 promising to take her back to his country so she can go to 34:30 school all the things that a vulnerable girl would grab bag, 34:34 that she could have a hope and a future. 34:37 So I went to talk to them and I talked to him in the presence 34:40 of leadership and I just laid it out to him. My concerns. 34:44 I asked him to please abide by the school rules to not seek or 34:48 out in an isolated situation at all. But to go through that 34:52 female leaders at the school whenever he needed to meet with 34:55 her or try and help her. And he is he promised me that 34:59 he would do that. 35:00 But a few weeks went by and I found out that he's giving her 35:03 money and gifts and that she's going around to all her 35:06 girlfriends at the dorm, saying how he cares for her and he's 35:09 going to be her answer for for the education. 35:13 And I could sense this was very unhealthy, 35:16 especially when she was sneaking away from the dorm to 35:18 go find Hammond, writing him letters and things to do so at 35:22 this point, you know, after I had counsel with her after we 35:25 had counsel with her as a team and she was not responding, 35:28 she was being drawn with this man. We have to confront him. 35:32 So I went with more representatives this time in a 35:36 group setting. I confronted him night after remembering that 35:39 the foreign cultural setting that we're in for me as a woman 35:43 to confront a man is frowned upon, especially if I'm not 35:47 going to be tiptoeing in doing it very diplomatically 35:50 intently. 35:52 So I started out gently and I asked him, I reminded him of 35:55 our previous meeting that we had 35:58 and he just simply said, why are you questioning me? Who are 36:01 you to come and talk to me? And 36:04 I realize that I'm dealing with someone here who is not going 36:07 to take responsibility for any of his actions. And I have to 36:10 stay on girl. I had to think about. 36:12 So I was very straightforward with Ham. I laid out to him. 36:15 The letter says she had been riding the gifts he had been 36:17 giving her against 36:19 our school rules of doing it in public 36:22 and he would just deny it all along. Now. I'm fortunate that 36:26 I'm surrounded by caring team who then took that and 36:29 investigated and found that it was true. 36:32 And even then he was not cooperating and he was asked to 36:35 leave immediately. 36:39 Now I'm left with this girl. Yeah. And of course in her 36:43 immaturity, she can see what I've been trying to do to help 36:46 her and keep her safe 36:48 to her. She's thinking she just ruined my chances to get an 36:53 education to have a new beginning. 36:56 And so 36:59 because of what she had gone through physically and not 37:02 being able to share with anyone to see if the council and the 37:05 treatment that she needs, 37:07 she's been driven to seek out the attentions of this older 37:10 man. 37:12 And so I've tried different ways to reach her heart. 37:15 I've tried different ways to counsel her. I've given her a 37:18 consequence for 2 weeks. And I say to you have to come 37:21 every day and let me give you a hug. And it's not a quick hug. 37:26 It's a proper hug because these kids have so little physical 37:30 touch star from action from a pure motive from an older 37:35 adult. 37:36 And she was faithful with that. Actually, she would come every 37:38 day for 2 weeks, too. Find her hug. 37:41 And yet outwardly, I don't see change. I don't see 37:47 how she's wanting to cooperate. She's she was on holiday just 37:52 when I left to come to the states. And I hear that she's 37:55 visiting the public areas where the men play cool and hang out 37:59 and that's dangerous. Yeah, it's I don't know. At the end 38:02 of her story is at this moment. She's not asking to leave. 38:06 She's not asking to be released. I have hope that as 38:09 we keep spending time with her 38:11 and putting boundaries and explain to her why that maybe 38:14 she'll turn around and maybe her life can take a much 38:17 positive turn. 38:18 >> That I wrote down the word worry, do you worry for your 38:22 students, do you? How do you do with that? 38:26 I worry. But again, you know, I I pray I try. I love them. 38:34 >> And then I have wonderful staff that I work with from the 38:37 matron, set the dormitories to the teachers in the classrooms 38:41 who in their cultural ways and can go with the language deeper 38:45 than I can to really come close to them. And I'm very thankful 38:49 for our school because they are in a group with other young 38:53 people 38:54 and that keeps them there. And that gives them that 38:57 opportunity to get in touch with Jesus on a daily basis. 39:00 And then 39:01 I give them to Jesus cause. He cares about them much more 39:04 than I do. 39:05 >> And man, but I want to do now just do an appeal for you 39:10 at home and 39:12 I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what your 39:15 journey with Jesus is like. Maybe you're just finding him 39:19 for the very first time. 39:21 Maybe you've walked with him and you're uncertain. 39:26 Maybe you're experiencing challenges in your home. 39:29 Maybe your mom and struggling with feeling that validation 39:33 importance, raising those children. Maybe you're walking 39:37 in leadership like principal of a school or in some other area 39:41 of leadership that God has called you to. Right now, 39:45 if you would like 39:48 we want to pray for you want to put up an e-mail address. 39:51 You can e-mail us at 3 ABN and we will reach out to you and 39:57 pray for you. You can e-mail us live L I V E at 3 ABN DOT TV 40:03 and that's l I V E at CBN DOT TV. We want to hear from you in 40:10 the 3 D and family. We want to pray for you. We have a 40:13 pastoral department that will pray over your needs and what 40:18 you're going through right now and to not want to see if you 40:20 can look into the camera there and talk to those people at 40:24 home. I'm just whatever the learns put on your heart right 40:28 now and then we'll go to a stop. 40:31 We are on a journey 40:33 and I'm so thankful that the end is not here. It's and have 40:36 fun, which is really the beginning of life eternal. 40:40 >> And the decisions that we make now has bearing on that he 40:44 turned it. And I'm thankful that the Lourdes and leave us 40:46 to our decisions that we're making here. But we do need to 40:49 realize that what we invest in right now, what we spend our 40:52 time on what we're committed to right now, it does have an 40:54 influence on our return. It to that. The Lord is 40:57 preparing for us. If you're a young mother with young 41:00 children, 41:01 you are ministry right now is so precious. It so valuable is 41:05 soon needed in a world that is so broken today. 41:09 May the lord strengthen you and help you keep you faithful. 41:12 If you're an older lady right now, too, 41:15 are now called into a ministry that maybe you have not had any 41:18 training for our qualifications. Jus do it just 41:23 be faithful and obedient to the Lord. He will use you. He will 41:26 supply your needs 41:27 and what a wonderful reward is going to be when we get to have 41:31 in one day and someone comes, students say, 41:34 Madam, because you were there when you retired leaving your 41:38 children at home, that one more day when they should have had 41:40 you. I'm here and I'm so thankful now I'm praying that 41:46 my children will be there, too, because I am trying to involve 41:49 them with what I'm doing. 41:51 But sometimes when we pulled this way, when we really want 41:53 to go another way, it's OK to Lourdes air with us and he will 41:57 strengthen us and use us anyways. And if you're an older 42:00 lady yet who are not so active right now in ministry anymore, 42:05 you can pray and encourage those young ladies because we 42:08 need mothers in Israel. We need someone to help us navigate 42:12 this world today as woman 42:14 may God bless you. 42:16 >> And thank you so much. We're going to now we're going 42:19 to go to a song. And as we listen to the song, just 42:23 encourage you and the quietness of your heart in your own home 42:25 or if you're driving and you're listening to it in the car, 42:29 I'm just tell Jesus your problems, tell him what you're 42:32 going to tell him your challenges. And then when we 42:35 come out from the song, we're going to spend a season in 42:38 prayer for you at home. So let's go to the song. This is 42:42 Bin Essa, all Donna with Ben Jenkins and the song they will 42:46 be Minister Ng is I must tell Chief Ash. 42:51 [MUSIC] 42:56 [MUSIC] 43:01 [MUSIC] 43:06 [MUSIC] 43:09 >> Imus 10 0 G much from 43:16 I can. 43:19 >> It is. 43:20 >> Dunn's in my district 43:27 kindly will 43:30 [MUSIC] 43:37 [MUSIC] 43:39 >> and thus to ease. 43:43 My. 43:46 >> Is 43:54 the. 43:57 >> We too. 44:01 >> Thanks so much for the. 44:05 >> To 44:09 [MUSIC] 44:25 >> we must to be. 44:29 I must be. 44:33 And this can me. 44:39 [MUSIC] 44:44 [MUSIC] 44:47 >> To the. 44:54 [MUSIC] 44:59 >> And to do some 45:02 has to be 45:06 and he will. 45:09 [MUSIC] 45:13 >> We need to. 45:17 [MUSIC] 45:22 [MUSIC] 45:27 [MUSIC] 45:32 >> I was 10. She Imus, 2 news 45:39 and the skin 45:47 >> we 45:53 [MUSIC] 45:58 [MUSIC] 46:03 [MUSIC] 46:06 >> Imus to know she is. 46:10 I must, too. 46:14 And just. 46:17 >> We. 46:21 >> She's. 46:25 [MUSIC] 46:30 [MUSIC] 46:35 [MUSIC] 46:37 >> Our father in heaven. 46:40 Marty says 46:41 we are your children. Teach us to tell you everything 46:47 T test to come to you day and night. 46:50 >> Sometimes we are strong and we are able with your help to 46:54 do the work that you're asking us to do with the Lord. 46:56 Sometimes we are weak. 46:58 We are lonely. We feel left out. 47:02 Maybe that we're not value. Maybe we don't know what our 47:05 party is. 47:08 But father, I want to pray and ask 47:11 there's someone watching or listening today needs to be 47:15 infused with your holy spirit. Who needs to be encouraged 47:18 again. May you please come close to that person? Thank 47:22 you. Please remind them of your precious promises. You said 47:26 that you'll never leave or forsake us. You will not leave 47:29 us Orphans. Satan wants us to feel like orphans, father, 47:33 but that's not how you work. 47:35 Father. I pray that that person will be encouraged in you to 47:39 take up their duties again with new green use strength with 47:42 renewed energy and vigor to know that it is going to be 47:48 worth it in the and heaven is cheap enough and one with those 47:51 trophies come and say thank you for being the hands and the 47:55 feet of Jesus because of that. I'm here today, lord, it will 47:58 be worth everything that you may have asked us to be 48:02 separated for a little bit from or to give up. 48:06 Father, I thank you. I thank you for Jesus. I thank you for 48:10 the great sacrifice that he has made. 48:13 Lord in whatever sacrifice you may ask us to make it pales in 48:17 significance. It has no meaning even. 48:20 And yet you're worth says that all art here so gathered up in 48:23 your bottle, you know, and see everything. Nothing is wasted 48:27 or lost or forgotten. So father, we want to commit 48:30 ourselves. We want to come in our Ministries 3ABN, Q do lend 48:34 thousands of ministries. You have around the globe man 48:38 and a woman, even the ground pop father's the grandmothers 48:42 who are purring like prayer warriors for the work. 48:46 >> Police father infuse us again. Make a strong a new 48:49 word. Fill us with your holy spirit and help us to be 48:52 faithful from day to day father. I pray and I ask that 48:58 we will not build our kingdoms in this world and that we will 49:02 look to Jesus that we will prepare layup, our treasure in 49:05 and father. Thank you. 49:09 Thank you for providing for all our means in Jesus name. 49:13 I pray, Amen. 49:15 >> Father you said were 2 or 3 years and years. Your presence 49:20 there and then and I thank you for your presence. I thank you 49:24 for the anointing of your holdings. And I think you got 49:28 that 49:30 no matter where we have been 49:33 no matter what we have time, 49:36 no matter how broke and we feel 49:39 >> that you are God who restores your God, her for kids 49:43 in climate change. Your God, who? 49:46 >> Recreates and not the image of cheese. I pray especially 49:52 for our sisters who are watching it listening right 49:56 now. God, you know, their hearts cry. You know what they 50:00 battle with, you know, with the struggles are, you know where 50:03 they need strength and victory and deliverance in wisdom and 50:08 understanding, you know, where they need can passion and love 50:12 and forgive us, lord, my sister, Antoinette and I pray 50:17 for that for ourselves. 50:19 God, you know what we need. 50:22 I thank you for bringing Antoinette here. 50:25 The minister in shared tonight. I pray for the anointing of 50:29 your holy spirit over she and her husband Jason and their 50:33 daughters. And I pray for your spirits protection as N Z there 50:39 it could be due a farms. We pray for the young people 50:42 gone there at the school's those come from broken homes. 50:46 Those who come from abuse, those who are disadvantaged 50:51 God, which you wrap your arms around them and reveal yourself 50:55 to them enough way. I pray that it would work through. 50:59 I'm Antoinette that you would work to chase and that you work 51:03 for the teachers and those who volunteer those who are 51:07 involved in the school as they minister to the young people. 51:11 We pray for souls that would be as a brand plucked from the 51:15 Bernie 51:16 Lord. We ask that you would bless the school. We ask that 51:20 you would bless your children all over the world. Both men 51:24 and women who is seeking to serve you 51:28 seeking to be leaders in whatever their sphere of 51:33 influence hands. 51:35 We thank you for your love and you're good. Yes, we thank you 51:39 for the work you have done and what you are going to 2. 51:43 And we ask all this and the precious and the holy name of 51:47 cheese they meant. 51:50 >> Want to give the website for the school one more time and 51:53 then we'll have some closing thoughts here. But the website 51:55 for the school can't do La Dot org. That's Kay ID ID. You l a 52:03 kid, the doula Dot org. If the lords put on your heart to 52:07 support them financially to pray for them for sure or to 52:15 get involved and that ministry. So that's the Web site where 52:18 you can do just that. What would be some of it, 52:22 the ways that the 3 D and family can pray for you? 52:26 What would be some of the needs that you have? 52:28 >> So right now I have to transition again a little bit. 52:32 I have been the active day-to-day principal at this 52:36 school. That means I deal with discipline and grades and the 52:39 government all from day to day. 52:41 But the school has come to the point where I need to develop 52:44 the industry more. I need to do more donor connections, 52:48 profiling the students. So I really do need a replacement 52:51 for me in my current position as principal so that I can step 52:55 out a little bit and see the bigger picture and guide and 52:58 manage the bigger picture. 53:01 So I am the process of looking for someone who can 53:05 the use that God given love for young people that God has given 53:08 them 53:10 to lead and guide the school and agricultural pursuits. 53:14 And then I can be focusing more on the big picture if you could 53:17 just pray for keeping doula. It's has a very humble 53:21 beginning. But the Lord is taking us on an amazing 53:25 journey. The last few years, 53:27 the mission is growing and expanding very fast. I'm very 53:31 excited about what's happening there. And it's going to impact 53:34 not just 10 Xenia, but the rest of Africa around us as well. 53:38 Just prayer with the so much appreciated. And I we people 53:42 don't realize how much we appreciate when people reach 53:44 out to us and say, you know what, we're praying for you 53:46 because it helps us. And it reminds us that were part of a 53:48 greater family and that we're not by yourself. 53:51 >> The men that power from the heart has been so blessed this 53:54 evening. As you've shared from your heart in your experience 53:58 and your stories and the wisdom that God's given you through 54:01 experience and time in prayer in time, in his words. So thank 54:05 you for what you do for the cause of God. I took notes the 54:10 second hour and these are some of my takeaways from what 54:13 Antoinette shared, of course, not everything. And then we'll 54:15 give you time for a closing thought. Spent time in the work 54:20 do what is right in front of you. Even if other people may 54:25 feel like it's an important God sees what's important 54:28 the open with your spouse, protect your family life, 54:33 focus on Jesus, not on yourself. Prioritize what is 54:39 truly important. And this would be true for ministry or family 54:44 give validation, but don't expect it trust God, 54:48 regardless, stay faithful to the work and ministry that God 54:54 has called you to pace yourself and learn those boundaries, 55:00 prioritize your family and just do it. Step out on the call 55:05 that God has given to you. So do you have a closing 55:08 thought for a cent? 55:11 >> So I shared at the end of my talk at a a sign that we are an 55:16 arrow in our father's quiver. And that was my friend Pastor 55:20 Stephen Grabner who share that in the seminar on leadership. 55:23 And it was very point none to me because sometimes I feel 55:26 like a wet spaghetti noodle actually. Yeah. And ye Gon is 55:30 asking me to do this job that I really feel I can I do. 55:35 But then I'm reminded that it's his holy spirit. 55:37 >> And working in me that strengthens me. It's him taking 55:41 the aim and doing the shooting. 55:43 >> And he can hit the mark. And when I realized that again, 55:47 it gives me new courage to come back to him again and say, 55:50 Lord, I feel very weak right now. I feel inadequate. Give me 55:54 what I need. Again. Police inspire and revive me again for 55:59 the ministry. The and if it's true for me then is true for 56:01 you is true for everyone in ministry. 56:04 >> Her name and thank you so much for sharing from your 56:07 heart tonight in being here with us tonight. 56:10 I am not qualified women in leadership, but yet God 56:14 qualifies the call. And that's what caused send in your life. 56:17 Know that that review and family and myself personally 56:19 will be praying for you and your ministry in what God's 56:22 called you to do. Thank you so much for sharing and we thank 56:26 you at home are 3ABN family for joining with us as well. 56:30 I've had my Bible the whole time open to Isaiah Chapter 6. 56:33 And I want to close with that. This is, of course, the call of 56:36 God to the prophet Isaiah. And after he saw the vision of 56:41 God high and lifted up in the temple after his lips were 56:45 touched with a cold from off the altar and his son was 56:49 purged. God called him. And what did he say here? Am I send 56:54 me? I don't know what ministry, what sphere of influence or 56:58 leadership. 56:59 >> The Lord is calling you to. But I pray that you will answer 57:03 the call here. Am I 57:05 [MUSIC] 57:10 [MUSIC] 57:15 [MUSIC] 57:20 [MUSIC] 57:25 [MUSIC] 57:30 [MUSIC] 57:36 [MUSIC] 57:41 [MUSIC] 57:46 [MUSIC] 57:51 [MUSIC] 57:56 [MUSIC] |
Revised 2023-08-24