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Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL220032B
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00:11 >> Welcome back to 03:08PM, Today Live on Thursday night. We've been talking about
00:15 tokens of Love. Yeah. And we have been discussing this with Brandon and shredded tails. If 00:22 you didn't live long along that you missed I mean, the lie to brand-new cupcake. Aha. 00:35 >> awaiting keeping that smile is a Just haha. It's a glow. You missed the first hour. You 00:43 may be able to catch it later on as the program repeats. Yeah. But you don't want to 00:47 turn away for the second hour. >> And we've been addressing some beautiful examples of how 00:54 the live. the challenges of getting together. >> What about their devotion? 00:59 They have a great devotional book. What is it called? >> Tokens of Love Book that 01:04 the 31 Day devotional book to The Love Stories in the by Detroit. There it is. rain, 01:08 tokens of love. How do they get a copy? ABC has it don't yes. That a wonderful, 01:13 beautiful cover who >> Who did the designing and have because I'm I yeah, I 01:21 devil Shop illustrator. >> been using Photoshop. And since it was a little floppy 01:32 disk. Yeah. on a stop selling age. I'm at Haha. This beautiful one over. And I like 01:38 the fact that this just for the benefit of the people that maybe just joining us, tell us 01:41 how it's broken down the book of the stories in the boat that emotion. 01:46 >> So tokens of Love is a 31 day devotional too. 31 different couples in the 01:51 Bible's. So each day takes you through a couple story. Some part of their story and it's 01:55 all about finding what is the token? What is the lesson that you can take away from their 02:00 story and apply it to your life? There's a journal and prompt so you can turn kind of 02:06 think reflect on how this lesson applies here. Relationship in your walk with 02:10 God. And there's a couple's corner. So if you're doing it with a significant other, you 02:14 can talk about the topic of discussion. There's a question there at the ending. There's 02:20 also additional scriptures to continue study the couple's throughout so alike because 02:25 there isn't a some of the first, do you have a have and just go in Haha. 02:31 >> can learn them to you guys. Think by that. But just to find out what? 02:38 >> Hot all pretty wouldn't say. It's all for >> other has some issues. 02:46 >> Hit to town. Tell me you have Solomon in there. We do. So which one which one of his 02:54 life and was that Solomon Solomon had be counseling, Solomon and haven't which one 03:03 of Solomon has a 700 wives 300 concubines yet the Solomons days called led astray from 03:08 God so, wow, that's why they've invested. we did you Ryan this fight, right? 03:17 Because that was yes right that the more the legitimate religious Yeah, this it's good 03:23 to see that God is leading you and how many years married now just for the benefit of our 03:28 second hour. People 7 years. just month and a half ago. Did you have a big way? To find 03:35 you can do? It was big for the friend group that we And every year after that, our friend 03:42 group, you know, started having small wedding because they learned from my wedding. 03:46 I think that yes. So here we have a fairly lending 150 people, 500, no 100th, 03:56 >> in Long Island. >> a Long Island Long Island long. You not tell But you 04:03 know. >> Long Island, What? They're really what could a new New 04:08 York to contend with then they can. She has the Jamaican background of something we 04:20 haven't asked them. You know, we have some questions. Thank you sending and then. But 04:24 before we get to tell us about your children. I know tell us their ages and kind of yeah, 04:29 that was an allergy. >> So we have 2 children actually, Stephen and Simone 04:34 Stephens, our 4 year-old son and Simone is 10 month old daughter. And they're just so 04:39 precious. did they get along? Steve in Love? I think at the at the court, I think he being 04:46 a big brother and I think he does it because he cares about his sister. He wants to look 04:50 after her. And I think that he's still just learning how to interact with her because 04:52 her abilities are very different, Rick. I think she he wants her to constantly be 04:59 at his level running chasing after him and running with him. So and at times coming. 05:04 But she's she's a she's coming along. Well. >> They have 2 totally 05:07 different person than I from when I was pregnant with Stephen. He was super active. 05:12 Every time we had a ultrasound, the technician like this is an active baby 05:17 and he has held true to that. 4 years later. He's still very access to the mom. She from 05:23 the very beginning has always been calm, very calm. Chi, do down. Does not want to be 05:30 seen. So she's definitely more laid-back and reserves. So it's going to fun to or a 05:40 which yourself in Category to definite Taipei. >> For you? A little bit of 05:46 Taipei. I know we we type in different spaces. both eyes that not yet over running. 05:55 bring the adventure. I think you bring yeah structure and that's OK now on asking of the 06:02 question the questions here. When you decided OK, where are we going to live? And you live 06:09 now where we live in Indiana now. So one Brooklyn's way. I know the answer is I do not 06:21 want to raise, right? Thank you. Talk about talk about life in Indiana. Well, that 06:24 was a major point of negotiation and our marriage. I think that, you know, we had 06:28 then on East coast for majority of our relationship. You've got a nice boost for 06:35 entire And the session about relocating to the Midwest, something a little bit of a to 06:40 kind of navigate state of I think that I was certainly looking forward to being 06:44 closer to family here. My family is still based in Indiana. So 06:47 >> I definitely want to be closer to grandparents. My parents and I'm just being 06:51 close with our children as well. So they can actually be a part of their lives in that 06:54 way. But I also understood the strain that that was inviting us well to walk into it. Your 06:58 friendships in your, you know, really your your home being out in the East Coast with so 07:06 not people who feel me. yeahs. So we >> Actually originally our 07:11 plan we got married was to live in New York. >> To spend some time in New 07:14 York City. So he had moved to New York City as I was finishing up my last year in 07:21 college. And the plan was when I graduated that we're going to lift there. the Lord saw 07:25 fit. I could not find a job in New York and which was strange because on the prior to that 07:31 every single thing I had done and I always got accepted for job offers. But you know, my I 07:37 just wasn't touching any ground in New York and had someone really pushing me to 07:42 apply for job that was in Philadelphia and that job interview process was just 07:47 going through like no problem. And I got the job offer. >> That was in another 07:55 conflict worrying where we plan was to the New York and Philadelphia was nowhere near 08:02 anything that we But, you know, we all to be fast and we prayed and 08:07 >> saw the God was leading us to be in Philadelphia. So I took the job there and then 08:12 after we were engaged at the time and after we got married, he moved to Philadelphia and 08:17 we were based in Pennsylvania for the 7 years our marriage until we just recently moved 08:22 to New zone. >> How do you know as the as the New York, 08:27 >> these guys and he was questioned, you know that things I can appreciate about 08:33 Go. I I think that, you know, slower pace is important is the way that we want to raise 08:42 our children. We have no space for them to play outside. I don't have to worry about. 08:48 >> You know them being outside because I couldn't play outside growing up I know mom 08:50 was like you. Yeah, cries. You you know, I couldn't be outside like that. So just 08:59 being able see my children being able to do that. I can definitely appreciate that 09:01 about the Midwest. I do miss, you know, a lot of aspects about the access for You know 09:10 Haha. Yeah. >> What are we going to go back to Brooklyn every time 09:13 Times Square and in Brooklyn where we go, all you have to go escape that fact. I this a 09:17 major new snow. know you like know should avenue, you know, Fulton I know it at my 09:31 discount. >> Yeah. So but I've grown to understand. It's a place I can 09:34 just, you know, as the Lord chief it go back and visit and that sort of thing. So. 09:39 >> And, you know, as the years go by you and appreciate that about the about the 09:42 personality that it beacons to develop a new children. I mean, we all know we love me 09:50 rough. New York is a very, very fast paced. Not a good place to raise children of the 09:58 And I'm sure at 9%. Thank you, Lord that you can a read It was difficult tell you. I'm 10:07 still on pins and like. >> haha, you asked us actually get hasn't been out since May 10:20 -6. >> Almost 6 months. Yeah. It's good that really good people 10:27 didn't send some questions. And let's go ahead. Yes, some of those questions, OK? talk 10:31 about your kiss. Your first kiss so well. >> Your first kiss Someone 10:40 asks John from New York is kiss in wrong before marriage. Some of the challenges 10:46 scientists unlikely talks about him. Well, I wouldn't say that. 10:52 >> I wouldn't say they're John, that that that it's wrong before marriage. My 10:54 response to that would be that for us in our relationship. We recognize that the path that 11:00 we're following as we got started kissing in the early stages of a relationship as we 11:06 begin to really increase the level of attraction in our relation is we've got to know 11:08 one another more and that those cases became a lot longer. It became a lot more 11:13 passion more intense. And so at that moment, we I think that we both began to realize 11:18 that if we're committing ourselves to, you know, saving sex for marriage, which is 11:23 where our commitment from the beginning of our relationship. We really need to pump the 11:28 brakes on, you know, these intense passionate moments that were exchanges of 11:31 affection that we're having. And so, you know, try to mention the story about her 11:37 being abroad. And at that same time I've been reading through a book, a wonderful book that 11:39 was encouraging need that purity is not so much a question of absence. Purity is 11:46 much more questions that the presence of Christ in your and your heart. If you are seeking 11:51 for Christ who abide in your heart, then everything that flows out from that should 11:55 also reflect the values of crisis. I knew that which right as my sister in Christ 11:59 at that point, not being my wife at all had made no commitment to her in that way. 12:04 And that round of asking her to be my wife. And I knew that I had to protect the sanctity 12:08 of the of the marriage relationship that I ultimately desired. And so at that point, 12:13 we have a conversation that we came together like, look, I think that these things are 12:17 becoming really intense moments. And I don't want to lead our relationship in a way 12:21 that causes to possibly jeopardize that commitment that we made from the very 12:25 beginning. >> I'm definitely counter and also just scientifically 12:29 cousin is designed to lead to more from, you know, oxytocin is released in there is, you 12:36 know, that attachment bonding starting to take place. And so in light of that refrain from 12:43 it. We would advise others to consider that we can't give a scripture and say here is with 12:49 the scripture says not to do it, but I just think it's Wise Council to consider what is 12:53 here. Intention and where's the Lord leading you? But that's what's most important. 13:00 >> Because for us when it came setting our boundaries and our relationship, we work 13:05 backwards from what we didn't want at all to happen or relationships that are now. 13:09 What leads up to that, right? And so we be and that's how we begin to set the boundaries in 13:14 our relationship and hopefully took kissing for us. And while initially it wasn't one of 13:17 those things we quickly realized and learned in the chair that, you know, 13:20 actually, it is one of the things you should probably make some changes to be able 13:23 to know about that. >> Kiss on the wooden day. Wasn't it? Sweet? Oh, It's on 13:27 YouTube >> Haha. Yeah. >> And that's beautiful 13:36 council. I'm so bad when you said it's counter cultural because this culture, 13:41 particularly dozen places value on any preservation of anything, right? It's like a 13:49 the music to movies. Everything. The Internet, social media and everybody is 13:53 living on what they call an experimental base well as one person said, it's not wrong. 13:58 It's just people of today. The word right and wrong. Not even in their vocabulary just like 14:06 what this what I want to do is my body only what I want to do with it. Nobody has. But so 14:11 that you brought that out. But the Aussie Towson aspects God intends for intimacy to be. 14:19 Contextual where you feel the freedom to OK? >> Okay. Now we can cross the 14:24 line with God's approval But when you find that was so caught led, one said, I know 14:29 both. Okay. I need to chill out. >> Yeah. all. Come on. Come on 14:37 now. this. My daughter right. I want you he meant it to the timing of it. All is really 14:44 incredible. problem got. >> Actually, you have that revelation come about didn't 14:50 know away from one to right. And so we had that moment. Just kind of sit in that with 14:54 God and just allow God to and speak to us important than that moment when we finally 15:00 came back together, like shredded mentioned earlier, it was so different. It was so 15:05 different that interaction that we there's also something I learned before about 15:08 intimacy that, you know, it wants to pick up where you left off. And so I would also 15:13 encourage anyone listening to this program that >> it's something to consider 15:18 if you have had a pass where you've crossed physical boundaries in previous 15:22 relationships because the body wants to pick up where it left off. So wherever that was 15:27 where you may made some decisions in the past moving forward, body is actually 15:31 going want to pick up there. And if you're trying to honor God with the commitment to 15:35 marriage its most helpful to reserve that then for that time, right at this, a very 15:41 counsel. Don't don't pick up where you left off for because the body in training aspect. 15:47 >> Bodies trained the minus train. All these chemicals, all these pathways that is 15:51 there he said attachment to through connect with the lips next. know, it leads passions 16:02 that shouldn't be there. >> And and and the kiss that Jacob talked about in the 16:08 Bible rate will still be lifted up his eyes and grind. It's not I need to marry on 16:20 the merits. use it right. Okay. do I need about 10 knots? 7? Yeah. I got a come 16:30 on now. But he loved so That's what love intends to keep people bonded together in a 16:35 costly way thank you for that question. This another one. This is about premarital 16:40 council and one of the benefits of premarital counseling. should couples 16:47 begin premarital counseling? This is from Elizabeth in Brooklyn. 16:52 >> In Texas, East Coast is represented very It. Okay. to that question? I would say as 16:58 soon as possible and and the relationship. I you think you know, but say anything before 17:05 America is a great time to right to be able to begin. >> That premarital coaching 17:08 premarital counseling timeframe. You know, the benefits of an R and 17:15 tremendous. there's a lot of things we can share about the benefits. One that out, you 17:17 know, highlight here is being able to have guided discussions through, you know, 17:26 questions that are pertinent for your relationship's future, being able to talk 17:31 about, you know, what are your views on raising a family? Oh, What are your views on 17:36 finances, right? How do you manage? How do you think we should manage conflicts in our 17:40 relationship for how do you communicate? What's your preferred? You know, 17:44 communications sound and in a relationship. I think that all these really insightful in and 17:50 important discussions can take place that premarital counseling, period to actually 17:52 help you evaluate. Is this really the relationship going to move forward? Should I 17:58 actually continue forward and to and to pursue this person? You know, as you know, as as 18:03 my wife or 2 and entertain this person's interest, you know, as as my husband. 18:06 >> I like to listen to a lot of kind of podcast about marriage and a different 18:12 people's experiences and something that I've seen a lot couples who have been together 18:18 for, let's say 20 plus years. A lot of times they say, you know, the beginning, I wish I 18:24 knew war we have had knowledge of how to do this before. We could have avoided this many 18:29 years of this being an issue. And I think premarital counseling is the opportunity 18:34 to start to build some of those skills that you can in need in Marriott. It's already 18:39 difficult trying to merge life with someone else and depending on how you are, that 18:43 could be a little easier. A little harder. And so I think remounted counseling helps to 18:49 get those skills and get that knowledge and information so you can walk into marriage a 18:54 little bit more quipped. It's not saying that you never have problems. If you do 18:56 counseling, but I it does help you be more quip. So you know what to do when you encounter 19:03 certain situations. If you move in together for the first time and then he puts his 2 19:06 per share. And I really don't like that. You know how to communicate or how to approach 19:11 him to discuss that and come to a solution you need so that's what I think it's 19:17 helpful for it. It's really giving you the tools that you need before marriage to avoid 19:23 unnecessary problems. >> And the beautiful thing about what you just said that 19:26 as well about marriage itself is that marriage is this union between 2 fallen people who 19:32 are desiring to represent a perfect God and their and their relationship. And so 19:37 with that with those 2 fallen people, we have tons of baggage that we're all bring 19:42 into that relationship, even if they want to marry before. Exactly is on naturally 19:46 baggage trigger. and so to be able to have somebody who can guide you as a neutral 3rd 19:50 party guide you through some very intentional discussions to prepare you hopefully 19:52 prepare you for that commitment or just help you better evaluate that 19:56 commitment, I think is invaluable. And the word tools is a significant world when it 20:00 comes to relationships because relationship, counseling relationship, coaching all 20:05 deals with giving you both tools. But a guy could be a cop into the 35 years. Every 20:10 now and then is going to his finger with a hammer. >> He does more to avoid it 20:15 right then you didn't very beginning, you know, as as a person become come along, a 20:19 journeyman that just starts does not act. Don't put your hand that close to UN hit. We 20:23 as we get older, we sit, come on, get your hand far from that. it. So these are things 20:29 you learn. But you realize that's a hammer. That's an L that's supposed to hit. Not 20:36 your finger, right. That's where the coaching comes stay away from things that you're 20:38 not supposed to and you won't hurt those things. That's right. That's very 20:44 interesting. Here's another question. >> From New Casey from New 20:51 York. How do you know >> Someone is the one to the good question. I think. I 21:02 would call I would define it as heavenly Peace when we were going along our journey, I was 21:10 very intentional about praying from the very beginning. Any time I had a concern or a 21:14 question, I would say Lord, this is concerning me. This is I was just on us with guy. 21:18 This is how I feel about it. This is why I'm concerned. I need to continue to be 21:22 concerned about that. And I would see the Lord working moving address those things. 21:27 There certain things I never had to say because I took it to the Lord and then the Lord 21:33 would start to work on in, for example, the kids. I would pray about it. So I think that 21:38 one year you know, considering someone for marriage, you start with the basics. Of 21:45 course, what has the wording that would have got instructions to write what you 21:47 should be looking for in one of the characteristics that you would want in the future 21:52 spouse. But then you also ask itself. Do I have peace from the Lord about the situation 22:00 because he he will let you know, you will feel discomfort if you're in a situation that 22:05 God does not want you to be in, he will never encroach upon our free will, but he 22:12 will give a signs and warnings this is not the path you want to go down. And that's what I 22:16 think you should pay attention. Sometimes that comes from outside counsels 22:20 for having Godly counsel around you. Whether it be your parents, whoever to surround 22:26 you and kind of give you a different perspective. But apart from that, it's it's 22:31 also just following the Holy Spirit. So I would look for that. You need do you think. 22:42 >> No, you Yeah. I knew you were the one for me. Long time. I mean, I I prayed about 22:49 He was in the world, but his race had been us. He was in the world. I said that he does 22:54 not become a Christian first love the law at first. And then, of course, the 7th Day 23:01 next. I wasn't gonna marry him and I wanted him to have a relationship with the Lord. 23:06 That was the most important to and finally you did. And how can I go wrong? Look after 39 23:11 years to come due to >> You know, stop I know that's you just mentioned. 23:17 Where the great point. I would love to just elaborate on that little bit more. I think you 23:22 should often look for and should you should look for someone who also responds to 23:25 the moving to the Holy Spirit says. >> Such a key point. I think 23:29 that both of our journeys, we just you were able to see one another interact in different 23:35 circumstances and different pressures that we were going through in that early stage of 23:37 our relationship. And I think seeing us both the challenge is seen as both grow through 23:40 those moments of of tests and trials and and seeing how God and was impressed to do 23:47 certain things and whether or not we responded to or how we responded to it, I think also 23:51 gave us peace to move forward in our relationship to a marriage, too. 23:53 >> Because I know that if you obey God here by the grace of God, you continue to obey him 24:00 later on because that's forming that have it in your lives. Yeah, that's true. And 24:05 believe me, she was patient. Pardon me. >> What did to use me? Yeah. 24:12 Okay. >> This goes with what we're talking about this is 24:15 interesting. He's got. Us in marriage with evil people who or it's really our bad because 24:27 you gave an example of Abigail Maple Week that from Indianapolis Home. Wow. 24:32 >> Hi. Haha. >> He's got part of this in the marriage with evil people. 24:39 Yeah, personally, I don't believe that. No, because like I said, we have free will we 24:49 have will God is not going to force us to do something I do think especially from with 24:58 different couples and hearing different stories and all the e-mails and things we've 25:01 gotten over the years. I do think people can sometimes know something. And want to 25:07 believe in have fates of the better. And so they move in hope. And then when nothing 25:15 really changes, then it becomes a bag situation. So to that, I would kind of say the 25:22 same thing I said before. That's with why it's important to have That's when support to 25:28 go to premarital counseling. In some cases, some people might need therapy because 25:31 maybe you come from a really traumatic background. We need to work out some of the things 25:34 that you've been through that you are now like you said before you're hurting other 25:38 people. You're doing things unintentionally because that's what you've been through. But 25:45 he's got put us in there. I don't I don't think so. I don't think he just a in an 25:49 evil and on happiness in a relationship. I would much rather be single. much rather 25:58 be seeing. >> People shouldn't just go to county. They should also 26:00 listen to the county >> all these people around you have known you for years are 26:08 telling you that. You know something doesn't look right about this person in the way 26:12 that they interact with you. And you've got to listen, you've got to listen. You have 26:16 to. >> You may think that into prayer and then also to ask on 26:20 for this train to make the decision about needs to be done. 26:23 >> Well, that that is a great point because from the very beginning, we both really 26:27 like. You can take this away, Lord, if this is not going to be good for me, I know it 26:34 doesn't matter how much I like him. It doesn't matter how much he likes me. Take it 26:38 away. I don't want anything in my life. That's not going to be good for now. And I think 26:42 in as you're navigating relationships, you have to stay in that place of 26:46 surrender us for being willing to give up this thing, even though you may really want it, 26:49 you have to be willing to give it up if it's not going to be right for you. 26:54 >> You're right. Because I wasn't gonna marry him. If he going with the to the curb. 27:03 Yeah. Haha. Haha. I mean, obviously the unit where yeah. How many choices you have. But 27:13 million kept bringing me back to her. And I look back on it now and I realize. 27:17 >> My life would not be where it is today had it not been for marrying this young yeah. 27:24 >> We still hold hands hit in the house is not just Gun hildebran given that he like 27:33 to run around Barefoot House and he'll see me in the kitchen without my slippers. 27:39 You come put it down. He just did that again. neither does that with hydra slippers 27:47 questions right? That's where I don't have time. Thank you, Honey. You want to send those 27:54 questions? you an email them? >> E-mail them to live at 3 ABN DOT TV. That's live at TV 28:02 or you might want to tax those in that 6, 1, 8, 2, 2, 8, 39 75. We're getting those 28:08 questions. We have about half an hour left in our program and we appreciate that. You 28:13 send those and that's once again texting 6, 1, 8, 2 to 8, 39. 75 and we received that 28:18 from wherever you send those texts 10. >> You also have the event of 28:22 the 6 series still that is up for have an evangelistic series. I talk about that. 28:27 It's starting it's going to be aired on 3 a ban on the director of World EVANGELISM 28:32 for 3ABN, it was starting a 15 part series of evangelism starting the 14th of October. 28:38 This year 2022, it's going 15 parts. It's going to be the Pleasant Hill, California area 28:45 at the Pleasant Hill. 7 death his church. it's going to be 07:00PM. Pacific Time, which 28:53 is 09:00PM Central 3 AP is going to be on 3ABN all the meetings going to be their 28:57 starting on the night of the 14th of October would be 09:00PM Central 10:00PM 29:05 Eastern. However, every sermon it's going to be uploaded to 3 plus. So if you miss it 29:12 because of the late hour, you can get the next day and the added bonus is all of the top 29:17 is going to be covered in specific lessons that you can download and follow along. So 29:23 we'll have inserts as well as some of the lessons we can follow topic along and answer 29:27 the questions, but doing invite your friends, make your home a spot for? it or your 29:32 church is going to cost you nothing. We can do all the work. Just get that the 29:39 television get the video projector and advice to and you can download it. This is a 29:41 world of the Internet. If Americans, if you lost rail you wherever you are, you can 29:46 have a wonderful series. And when it's done, you can get those lessons and walk people 29:49 back to them as time allows gay men don't want out a year. All right. Let's get back to a 29:56 question. Yeah, this is another one joined. You know, we all have in loss right? 30:00 >> Yes, yes. Okay. This is outlaws. >> was like an outlaw. Okay. 30:07 Okay. >> How do you handle family issues that either spouse has, 30:13 for example, your spouse's sister takes advantage of spouse, but they can't see it 30:19 because they love them. But you want to help them without sounded offensive, too. 30:29 >> been that mayor long enough for this and I know they can. So you have haha. learn now to 30:33 get this one. it's a very delicate I think the person has to go to spouse. Hope 30:44 prayerfully. They have a transparent, you know, unsafe, place where they can really 30:50 come to each other and she doesn't feel like you here. She's going to go back to the 30:55 sister and share what they talked about. they need to be able to honestly communicate 30:59 their concerns. And I think if you approach it from the standpoint of we are one yards 31:07 team. What effects you affects me as excise them? Ali, you can start from that place and 31:14 let it be shown that you're not just. Being opposing just to have opposition. But you're 31:21 genuinely concerned for the well-being of your spouse because of what you see going 31:24 on and I would just honestly share if you have like specific just honestly share 31:31 what your concern is. And then most important, I think we're going to bring up the issue. 31:36 have to ask or an idea of solution that you can propose. So whatever you see going on 31:43 that might be manipulating, you know, your Okay. I notice that this is happening. You 31:49 know, she's asking for money like this. How about we do this are the some ideas that 31:53 you be willing to consider and then yeah, just also share that you are not and will 31:59 toward your spouse. You don't have a desire to be coming from a place of love and you 32:06 want to see them, you know, be OK and this that that's probably what I would We've 32:14 definitely had moments where we haven't seen eye to eye on certain but I'm grateful. I 32:20 think now we're in a place where you listen for me Yeah. >> But I've definitely had to 32:30 have conversations before about different things not necessary this but just 32:32 different things. It's like too. You may want to consider this You know, he's his own 32:39 person. He makes his own and I have to be able to not be like I told you so. But just allow 32:45 him to to to learn the lesson as the Lord leads and that can be a difficult thing to do, 32:48 especially when you can see like that. The flags, the red flag. But we you know, you've 32:56 reached that space where you can honestly communicate with that concern that they may 33:00 have the most important thing. I think, you know, among the most part in the EU said there 33:03 was. >> The fact that we are a team. Yeah. And so even though 33:08 we are keeping our families are sensing Mary together when we got married, yes, you know, 33:12 we as the husband and wife are team that or you're not fighting against one another 33:16 or fighting with each against the outside battles that. >> That are coming, you 33:20 towards our relationship. So I think important to remember always that we are a team and 33:25 we're working working together. So if you have that trust, you have a community, 33:28 those community, healthy communication channels in your marriage and you're able to 33:31 trust like my spouse truly desires. The best for me and that likewise, I to design the 33:38 best for you as well, that they think the thing to helps to navigate those situations 33:40 with family issues. Yeah. >> And I think it's important to remember as well when you 33:44 get married it's you and your spouse. First and you have to think you're right. You have 33:54 to protect your mayor. I would not call protecting the sacred you know, you are called to 34:00 leave mother and father Cleave to your wife. But it's also, you know, right? Right? It's 34:06 you. It's well, you guide spouse that we have children. You trust your children are in 34:11 the next out a circle. after that, it's relatives and it's important to remember the 34:16 order of priority and making decisions. And that so touching. 34:21 >> And you have to guard against family members say, look, I knew a lot and I know 34:26 you all but you have to say yes, but you didn't choose to be. He's hot. I chose to be 34:35 his And this is circle that God wants us to keepsake. But family members, come from 34:42 family of family of 3. think we haven't had that kind of with families trying take 34:47 advantage in a marriage of each other, know Christ off of that. And I have a wonderful 34:51 sister-in-law brother-in-law. We never dogs at any time. And just love that. My my says so 34:58 is this is my favorite system Haha. She making all the time. happened that? But it's 35:05 important that person brought that question out. Yeah, be hard. Home You have found 35:11 raising. The other thing that you pointed out a little while ago and I was commissioned 35:15 something. This one is really important. He it's it's more than just having. Abstinence 35:25 not doing something, its presence that the difference. What you meant by that. I love 35:28 what I was processing. That doesn't respond to that. But the Lord brought it back to 35:33 me. Sometimes we think that a good marriage means you don't do this. You don't do that. 35:37 You don't do this. You don't do that. No good matches to presence of God is there. That 35:42 is not what you don't do it. Who is It's a combination of both you don't do it because 35:46 you just don't do it. >> You don't do it because Christ presence is there is 35:51 not an empty cabin that you're gonna keep empty. the presence of Christ in there that makes 35:55 the difference and then things >> how do you know? You made from Is it possible not to be 36:06 La Toya from the West west and east of Know if you made unique is it possible you're 36:14 not meant to be some to? Yeah, believe. everyone. Some people just don't think people are 36:24 completely fine with having, you know, of right to for friendships that are all in 36:27 You know. >> Not disinterested Stars like pursuing a romantic 36:33 relationship. And I think that's that's perfectly fine. I think that they're people 36:36 who know that they want to be married, know that they want to be may know that they have, 36:41 you know, that attraction to that, you know, that manner to that woman. know who you are? 36:46 I think that, I think that that's how you that's how you would know on that. And also, 36:48 I think that if you can see yourself, I think going on this journey of dying to self. 36:54 Yeah, every single day, if you if you are recognizing the I'm willing to sacrifice my own 37:00 interests are my own needs so that I can better serve my spouse and better serve my 37:04 family. I think that that is really also an indicator that you know, that you have in 37:08 mind for mayor, you have a, you know, a desire to be there. 37:13 >> Yeah. Are you willing to take up the calling of what marriage would require if you 37:17 Paul writes about it? I think it's in. Is the first Corinthians chapter 7. But he 37:23 talks about the difference between some a woman and a man who who our Mary verses those 37:28 who are able to remain single. And, you know, there's some other, you know, scriptures, 37:33 you can look at that talk about marriage ephesians 5 and that sort of thing. But are 37:38 you willing to do what it is that the Lord requires marriage is not coming into 37:44 this thinking you can do your own thing and make your own rules and this is a God given 37:48 restitution and are you willing to to follow his and are you willing to do what it 37:54 takes to live in harmony and happiness and peace with your spouse for the rest of your 38:00 life. I think that's a good question to reflect on an axe yourself to begin with. It 38:06 takes work Oh, punch that clock every morning. Now. >> Has it takes more than a 38:14 lot of work? You know, marriage is on that probably. I think the best example in 38:18 scripture about God's relationship with his church because the church really act 38:24 we are members of church, me as an alternate. I how many Christians are the and 38:30 business, but there's one God and wants to present a church without spot. A wrinkle in the 38:34 sense that it takes time to get to that point. >> And even as you grow, 38:38 whether 7 years a 17 to 27 of 37, whatever the case may be. But all still in that 38:42 evolution of affecting us. I like what you send a very good with 2 broken people trying to 38:49 live a perfect marriage. And hey, we brought him just because of the fact that we 38:53 all fall every particular in so many ways. And then our home life environment of 38:58 whether we're from born in England are born in New York, though. Brooklyn are Indiana 39:07 We all have these things. We bring into the relationship and that brings diversity but 39:12 also brings challenge and room for growth. That's really, really good there was one of 39:17 the, you the next what they had a question here that we didn't go this culture that 39:19 one phone to Yeah. What OK? How I think how can single people prepare themselves to 39:27 experience healthy, happy Hollywood romance and that we We have ask what hope is there 39:32 in the Bible for couples who have experienced tremendous turn in their marriage? Oh, 39:38 that's a great question. I'm just talk about has and earlier. 39:42 >> But there's there's so much hope. I mean, the Bible full of hope. And just as you were 39:45 just mentioning, passing McCain that, you know, all throughout the Bible, we see 39:51 that God is constantly pursuing his people who have gone astray as people who 39:54 have, you know, lost their way and gone out into the into the wilderness just wondering away 39:59 from him and got as conflict is going after them in seeking to have a relationship with 40:03 them from the very beginning of the Bible. We see that God. Planted in our hearts, the 40:08 desire to love and to also be love. And if that is true, I think that we know we have to 40:13 know that God has a way for us to actually experience that healthy, happy, unholy 40:17 romance. And if he's been intentional on the story the relationship with this people 40:21 for this many year for this long. He also must have a way for to restore the the 40:28 marriage that that may be broken. Him also must have a way to restore the trust that 40:31 is now for aid in that relationship or heal the trauma that taking place, not 40:35 relationships. I would just speak a word of encouragement to anyone who's out there 40:38 who's struggling in their relationship are having, you know, just tremendous hurt 40:43 that they experience to go to the guy who identified earlier as the true matchmaker as the 40:47 one who gave up the desire to be in a romance to be in that to be to love and to also be 40:54 love the trust in >> Yeah, the Isaiah 60 God to heal the brokenhearted. To 41:00 give beauty for And so there's so many aspects of condos. That's pretty good. Cause the 41:07 law created this institution. I like the way he said that. And he has rules and 41:11 regulations for But his power make it work. >> Problem you can encounter 41:16 happened. He's not able to house was law and then gone back to that Goma. It just 41:22 right along the lines. That question, what about caught asking the Prophet Jose to 41:26 marry coma, a promiscuous woman? Yeah. Well, what people we talked about 41:33 >> You got to go back. >> And in fact, that was the one of the greatest examples 41:40 of of the of the unfaithfulness of his people. So got to sing. You don't 41:44 realize how rebellious Israel is. So. Jose, it you need to marry her to understand what 41:52 I'm going and that's what I did. That was not so much cars and you need to promise he's 41:56 going to a lot of right, my people from this us and that was it truly in not only Kyle 42:00 was trying to establish an allegorical situation for Jose, a to help in Goma was a 42:05 real person. Jose was real person. But Israel's rebellion was and he didn't understand 42:10 the power of God's love until until concept of Goma. She will pursue her love, 42:19 especially will not overtake them. And then she will say, I'm gonna go back to my 42:24 husband was because it was better with me and is it the now right? also want to from 42:32 God going up coming back as you can find a great a lot of outside of cars relationship 42:36 in the world because it doesn't all right. He did a summit on that. You remember 42:42 how was by just ahead here at all yet this year I wasn't. I was enjoying that moment 42:47 there. But I was just going to echo what you just sat there. And also, you going back to 42:51 Fusion's. We see that. >> With the purpose of marriage actually is that 42:54 represent that perfect relationship between Christ and the church. So every 42:58 single one of us in our in our marriages and our our different, you know, fall to 9 43:02 different shortcomings in the different things about our characters, striving to 43:06 represent their relationship Christ and the church. So if we look at Jose Gomer, that is 43:10 a that is a glimpse into the relationship between Christ and the church elation. Thank 43:14 God desires to have with this with this way where people constantly seeking after them 43:17 to show his unfailing love for them. That's right. And then wonderful that says for the 43:24 next 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. >> Khan saying, hey, love each 43:29 other. >> This one is for you should This is you mentioned speaking 43:37 to God in expressing unity, CYA. >> But the next man you'd 82 43:42 data to be your husband or intended to be was there at a wreck and cod that you knew 43:51 going into the Did you go into it by faith and the ANSA unfolded gradually hail from 44:01 there. >> And it is an amazing question. Yes, it You can look 44:03 at the camera to a hill. >> it was the latter. >> It was fate and looking at 44:14 how God was leading the way I think sometimes we looking for inaudible, you know, one time 44:23 answer like that. Is this going to be? My has been a yes or God is going to be right. 44:29 No. But >> he doesn't always work like that. I think he gives us 44:32 impressions. And like I said, that >> as our friendship continued 44:37 to unfold and I continue to get to know Brandon, I observe so many characteristics that 44:44 were just great qualities. But then there are also a few things that I had concerns 44:49 about. He was still very new on his his journey of of walking with the Lord. And so 44:55 I would just continue to proud, say, OK, you know, this is something that's a concern. 44:59 I pray about it. Like I said earlier, I would see Lauren working in that area without 45:04 me having to say anything. And that was another part 2, I don't want to bring up 45:09 concerns to him and then he changed for me, right? So that that's not going to be 45:13 long-lasting. I wanted if there was ever going to be any changes, it's because of his 45:18 love for the Lord. And so gradually by faith. Literally, there will be moments where 45:24 the Holy Spirit prompt me and told me. It is. But it is what I literally felt like it is. 45:30 Well, my child like just be even be at peace. It is. Well, it is going to be OK, and I 45:34 can definitely say by the time we see stood at the altar to get married. Any concern that 45:39 I had had I had gone away and had been and say it's so yes, it is a gradual. By faith 45:47 walking with the law that allowed him to But most importantly, being willing, 45:50 like I said to surrender and walk away when you do see that he showing you this is not it 45:55 for you. Yeah, I didn't want to be time to the relationship so much that I ignored do 46:03 sometimes. So the full you made a very important point because sometimes young 46:07 ladies, more specifically than young men. >> See signs that the early 46:10 that they ignore true. And then they say I fix yeah. have heard Don't don't marry a 46:24 don't marry a project should generally. >> But for the grace of God, 46:27 the person you see at the moment you want to get into a relationship with them is the 46:31 person they're going to be for a while outside of God doing amazing things like in our 46:38 relationship. David, the project I was a disc jockey. his party and yeah, but God 46:45 took all that away. then the transition here wasn't on the Marriott She was the one in 46:49 the relationship that bring me into that. help me to get my feet on solid ground. But 46:58 that's wonderful. So if you see and I think don't the only way you know that God has 47:01 answered your prayer is to in that relationship and and if a some signs that got it isn't 47:09 like that distance. Scott answered my prayer from a Okay. Today you have a 47:16 devotional for those who just tune in and tell him about that. 47:19 >> Of course. This is art. The devotional book 30 Monday devotional, a journey through 47:23 the love stories of the Bible. Tokens of Love. That takes you on a journey through. 31 47:27 different love stories in the Bible. If your practical applications the good stories 47:32 and also the more challenging stories, the heartland to yeah, exactly. Exactly. And so 47:39 allows people to to walk that journey into also journal their responses to the 47:43 different emotional they can have that they're they're in a relationship that can actually 47:47 read it with their significant other and talk about the different topics that we're 47:50 uncovering here. So so wonderful resource for anyone who single, even if they're 47:53 the relationship just looking to understand God's way for doing where they shop and 47:58 could. They purchase that book. you can purchase it by going tokens of Love, book Dot 48:04 Com Token self-love book Dot Com is where you can find the book and a yes and Pacific 48:07 Press has it. >> Yes, you can find it in and then says book centers as 48:16 well. ABC story tricks. I did this wonderful as if that's God has really you know, it's 48:20 not about that. You'll be able to look back in time and chronicle. We were at that 48:24 time maybe take on 31 other characters. Talk about God brought them through the model 48:33 is amazing amazing what man is. Now. also speak at churches. Yes, yes, we do 48:40 seminars and workshops. We've done it internationally and also across the United States. 48:47 So even Jamaica, you said we've been to Jamaica, recently virtually did a 48:55 church in the UK. So yes, Lordly we'll talk about, you communication. We'll talk 49:03 about finances will talk about. >> You know, about boundaries 49:07 and identity and all the different intricate topics of of relationships dive into 49:13 >> Now, Sandra, the book, have you had any miracle stories that you've encountered 49:15 because of it? >> Lou, you know, we've had I think the biggest lesson for 49:22 us is when people recommended to couples couples experience a transformation because 49:28 >> it's essentially a Bible study, right? And because they're studying the Bible 49:32 more that has definitely happened. had a couple reach out to us. read it together 49:38 and they said it was really transformative for them as they were preparing to see 49:41 that the Marion happy to report. The couple is married to days. So haha, that's a 49:48 blessing. >> We also had one over back in Pennsylvania. Someone had 49:53 known there was a couple that was on the brink of divorce home and they had known about 49:59 our booking were familiar with, had read through the book and just felt that I was 50:01 leaving the impression that actually give them this book, too, restore some some hope in 50:06 their marriage. And we just felt so humble that someone with ink to outside of 50:12 recommend someone to have to turn to the pilot turned to God got word that they would 50:15 possibly recommend this devotional journey to a couple that was on the brink of 50:19 divorce. And I'm so truly humbling humbling moment. There. 50:22 >> Yes, a man. So what's next? >> For love at home >> So a couple of we are 50:31 working on a Spanish translation that, though, that that will be coming soon. 50:38 We're working with the really great friend of ours to get that done. We hope to also 50:43 have a workbook that can go along with that in the future as We're still work directly 50:49 with couples through coaching services and well, you can we're also working on a course 50:57 because we know that there's far too many. >> There are far too many 51:01 couples in then we'll be able to ever meet with one-on-one, right? And so we did that we 51:06 would we actually planning right now actually really yes to to release a course 51:11 actually people through some premarital essential as before getting married and also just 51:15 about relationships in general, how to navigate the question process, how to go 51:18 about engagement. What should you know before saying I we're really looking for to release 51:25 You have a YouTube channel. Yes, we actually do have a series of recorded that we 51:29 have not released yet. It's called a courtship stories. So where one example of a couple 51:34 that showed our story while courting. But >> we spoke to many other 51:37 couples as well. So we want to get those videos up on our channel as well as highlight 51:44 that YouTube channels. North Way. Thank you for Worth the wait, isn't it worth 51:51 Absolutely do that. There's joy in, you know, following God's is Jeremy absolutely 51:58 worth We we made our choices before each other. That led to a lot of, you know, heartache 52:04 and turmoil and all of those things in just to go down God's path and experience the 52:09 joy that he really wants us to have is is is really profound in my presence is fullness of 52:15 joy my right hand are places for >> I and when you think the be 52:23 awhile before you children start school >> had too Hiccup college home 52:33 school. you know, that's made. But this will be a great time. And he's just married. 52:40 >> Little a nickel in the hat. To stop. Putting away for college. You have the world 52:46 last long enough. It I don't the way things are going with things go out of the world. 52:51 It's just find out sooner than later with a lot to come. we would just thank you for being 52:58 here. we have an audience that's listening in. The audience is watching how how 53:02 do you feel that the audience can help you in advancing in strengthening the ministry 53:06 might have something. Some goals you want to plan meeting or can people donate at your 53:12 website? Yes, they can. So they can donate at La H Ministries Dot Coms. That's 53:15 love at Home. La H. >> Ministries dot com. And yes, that that the course 53:21 project is in the works. So we would love to have some some financial support to actually 53:26 see that vision come about those online course. You know, you know equipment is not, you 53:32 know, at no cost. So definitely would a blessing for folks to come alongside us 53:35 and to support us as we launched this wonderful resource that we think would 53:38 really be a help too. You know, couples and singles all around the on the world. 53:43 Really? Yeah. They're looking for a way for God's from ants La H Ministry an issue dot 53:48 com. >> was by the book. loved ones. If you want to buy give 53:56 it a couple or someone that, you know, read it for yourself. Definitely that as 53:59 well. great gifts, doesn't it? >> Everything. holiday doesn't have to be a Thanksgiving. You 54:10 can give thanks and you whole King's Landing. Chances that come from New York told as the 54:18 actual card. But yeah, what it's always nice to know. Now this parting question. Is 54:27 there anything that you probably would say you would do differently as you as you 54:32 think about where you've come from and where you to do. >> That's a very good 54:37 question. Not even think about it. While we. As you've been watching, think about this 54:43 question, as you've been watching this couple tonight. We just want encourage you to 54:46 to just think about tokens of love, book Dot Com. If you've been as my wife and I have, we 54:52 love to get a copy of that I will love always like be able to ingest more information to 54:59 strengthen relationship and to get other people as you point to make the difference in how 55:07 our relationships learn, you know, it's going become for the NASA. I do have an OK? I 55:11 wouldn't change a thing. thing. I think even though we do have several says. 55:18 >> Moments mistakes mishaps during our courtship and engage with the mayor and I 55:23 wouldn't change a thing because I can look back now and can see how God used even 55:27 that decision. That may have been the wrong decision. But he used that decision to teach 55:30 you something about myself to something about my life. How would be a better man, a 55:35 better husband, a better father. So, yeah, I want anything. 55:37 >> I was going to say the same thing. I wouldn't change anything in. I think with each 55:46 day each year that passes by can see just guys him continuing to lead us. So. 55:52 Yeah, he's he's he's bright. They're leading us. So I I'm we're surrounded to the put 2 56:00 together have children yet with surrendered to the process. Right. point that 56:10 >> surrendered to the process we coming. We continuing to come in what was a division. I 56:16 want to be here and think you Brandon, thank you should I mean, I tell you if you don't 56:20 need because we have good of wedding topper. Lightfoot. Thank people dying for a live 56:29 look that. We had a terrible wonderfully. That's what we enjoyed that tremendously. You 56:34 being here on the program with insights of where you've been and where 56:39 >> And I know that cause them to tremendous things in your life. And when you chose, you 56:43 get you get the low McCain's. great, great parents. We highly recommend they keep his 56:50 the way they should go right ABN family. Thank you for joining us. Tonight has been a 56:56 delightful program. Tokens of Love book Dot Com. Don't Forget Amber Us in your 56:59 prayers and always your financial support until next time. May God continue to 57:05 bless news ♪ ♪ 57:18 ♪ ♪ ♪ 57:33 ♪ ♪ ♪ 57:48 ♪ ♪ |
Revised 2024-02-15