Participants:
Series Code: TDY
Program Code: TDY220018A
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00:04 I want to spend my life
00:10 mending broken people. 00:15 I want to spend my life 00:21 removing pain. 00:26 Lord, let my words 00:31 heal a heart that hurts. 00:36 I want to spend my life 00:42 mending broken people... 00:47 I want to spend my life 00:53 mending broken people. 01:06 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and we're so glad 01:09 we get to spend this hour with you. 01:11 You will be blessed. You know, the greatest 01:15 ministry there is is our testimony. 01:17 No one can deny our testimony 01:21 as we share what God has done. 01:23 And our special guest today has a fabulous testimony. 01:27 You will be inspired, and I believe what God has taken 01:32 her through can show us all 01:35 what He wants to do in our lives. 01:38 Let me start with I John chapter 2 verse 15. 01:42 This scripture really applies 01:45 to what happened in our guest's life. 01:48 I John 2:15 says: "Do not love the world 01:52 or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, 01:55 the love of the Father is not in him. 01:57 For all that is in the world: the lust of the flesh, 02:01 the lust of the eyes and the pride of life 02:04 is not of the Father but is of the world. " 02:08 OK... now get this: verse 17, I John 2:17: 02:15 "The world is passing away. " 02:18 Everything that we chase in the world that seems 02:20 so important to us... it's coming to an end. 02:24 "And the lust of it is also passing away. 02:28 But he who does the will of God abides forever. " 02:33 Hallelujah! What a beautiful verse! 02:36 And you're going to see how that verse 02:40 God has fulfilled in our special guest. 02:44 Let me go ahead and introduce her: 02:46 Tenisha Tavares. Tenisha, we're so glad 02:49 that you're here with us today. 02:51 Well thank you. It's a pleasure to be here 02:53 and a blessing to be here as well. 02:54 I'm excited. You know, I want to thank you 02:58 because you're a very transparent person 03:00 in talking about your past and how God 03:04 got your attention and brought you back into the fold. 03:08 And how He's using you today is just amazing. Um-hmm. 03:13 And before we get rollin' cause once we hit the GO button 03:17 this young woman has got a lot to share. 03:20 But before we get rolling 03:23 we're going to have her daughter sing a song for us. 03:29 Her precious 12-year-old daughter 03:31 is Natalie Bryant and she's going to sing 03:35 No Longer Slaves. 03:56 You unravel me 03:59 with a melody; 04:03 You surround me with a song. 04:11 Of deliverance 04:15 from my enemies 04:19 'til all my fears are gone. 04:26 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 04:34 I am a child of God. 04:41 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 04:49 I am a child of God. 04:56 From my mother's womb You have chosen me... 05:03 love has called my name. 05:11 I've been born again 05:14 into Your family... 05:18 Your blood flows through my veins. 05:25 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 05:32 I am a child of God. 05:40 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 05:47 I am a child of God. 05:55 Oh, 05:59 oh, oh, oh, 06:02 oh, 06:06 oh, oh, oh, 06:10 oh, oh, 06:14 oh, oh, oh, 06:17 oh, oh, 06:21 oh, oh, oh, 06:25 You split the sea so I could walk right through it. 06:32 My fears are drowned in perfect love. 06:39 You rescued me so I could stand and sing 06:45 I am a child of God. 06:52 I am 06:54 a child of God... 06:59 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 07:07 I am a child of God... 07:15 I'm no longer a slave to fear; 07:22 I am a child of God... 07:30 I am a child of God... 07:37 I am a child of God! 07:52 You can tell by Natalie's... the look on her face 07:56 that she believes what she's singing 07:59 and that's because her Mama is teaching her that. 08:02 And I... If you're joining us just a little late, 08:05 we actually... I think Natalie was the highlight... 08:08 now we're going to interview her mother Tenisha Tavares. 08:12 And Tenisha, that must have just made your heart swell. 08:16 Every time she sings I almost cry it's so 08:19 beautiful. 08:21 Well we are going to just hit the GO button 08:25 and let you tell us your wonderful testimony. 08:28 I'll just interject here and there. 08:30 But I understand you grew up in an Adventist Christian home 08:36 but at the age of 18 you made a decision. 08:40 Tell us about that. 08:41 Well, as you said at the age of 18 I just 08:46 the world was calling me is what I would say 08:48 and I had just decided: "OK, I want to try it out. " 08:52 So I told God: "God, let me just go into the world. 08:55 Let me live my life up there 08:58 and when I hear You calling me back... 08:59 when I see the signs of the times, 09:02 when I know Jesus is coming again, 09:03 then call me back 'cause I don't want to miss out on that. " 09:07 And so the Lord being as gracious and merciful 09:09 as He is, He allowed me to go and do that. 09:13 But I know throughout that whole journey 09:15 He was walking me through and leading me through 09:18 so that I would never completely stop hearing His voice 09:21 but that I would be able to know 09:23 when the time was right to come back. 09:25 All right. So let me just back up here. OK. 09:27 So you grew up in a Christian home? Yes. 09:29 But you obviously didn't have a true understanding 09:33 of His love - yeah - or you didn't have that personal 09:36 relationship with Him - right - as a Savior. Correct... correct. 09:39 'Cause we want to point out how dangerous that kind of 09:43 decision is. Yes, VERY dangerous. 09:45 You never know if you decide "Oh, Lord, I want to walk away 09:49 and I'm just going to let You call me back. " 09:52 You could be run over by a truck that very night 09:55 and you're in a lost condition. That's it. 09:58 So God was very gracious because... 10:00 I'm going to jump ahead a minute... 10:02 Tenisha's now in ministry. 10:05 But you at the age of 18 10:08 decided: "I want to see what the world's got to offer. " 10:11 What was your experience like? 10:14 Well, at first it was sweet, right? 10:17 At first it was: "Oh, this is really enjoyable. 10:19 I kind of like this. " 10:21 But as my distance in knowing God started to become greater 10:27 as I started to fall away even further, 10:30 I recognize that it was dark. And there was a lot of sadness. 10:33 I look at it now and think: "Wow! All of that that I went 10:37 through didn't bring me the joy that I thought it was 10:40 going to at the very beginning. " 10:42 It's kind of like a drug. The first time you try a drug 10:45 you get this high and it's oh, you're always chasing 10:47 that high. And that's kind of what the world is like. 10:50 A drug, right? And so you try it 10:52 and the first few years it's like this wonderful high 10:54 that you're constantly chasing. But all it does is just 10:57 completely empty you more. 10:59 So kind of take us through and unpack that a little. 11:02 You're 18. Did you go off to college? 11:04 What was your experience? 11:07 Yeah, so I basically gave my parents an ultimatum. 11:10 I said: "Either send me to Club Med in Mexico to work 11:13 there or send me to La Sierra University. " 11:16 And thankfully my parents didn't choose the Club Med route. 11:19 They said that they would pay for me to go to La Sierra 11:21 University. And so I did... I went to Adventist university. 11:25 From La Sierra, I decided to go to culinary school 11:28 for a while and then I went off to Andrews 11:31 to get my nutrition degree. 11:33 And so there was still that knowing of comfort 11:36 within the environment that I grew up in, right? 11:40 Being in that Adventist home, that Christian environment. 11:42 There was still comfort there. 11:44 But within it I still wanted to do my own thing. 11:46 So I went off to university and I got my degree. 11:49 And how I explain it is I knew that I had to get 11:53 a degree to be able to live the life that I wanted to live. 11:56 Right? To have the money; to be able to have my own place 11:59 where I didn't have to listen to my parents anymore 12:02 where I could do my own thing. 12:03 Boy, you must have really been... If you were off 12:06 in a Christian university you were really resisting 12:10 the Holy Spirit, weren't you? Oh yeah, yeah. 12:12 Yeah. You know, for the first year that I was there 12:15 I attended worship, I made friends. 12:18 But then slowly there are other friends that came into 12:21 the picture that just completely started to draw me away 12:24 from even going into those... chapel or worship 12:28 or vespers and things like that. 12:30 Then it was just going to just be there 12:32 to see who was there instead of going to gain a blessing 12:36 from the Lord. OK. 12:37 So you get your degree but tell us how 12:42 the slippery slope... how you started your decline 12:45 on the slippery slope. 12:46 Well basically it began by trying drugs for the first time. 12:52 OK. I was 16 the first time I tried marijuana. 12:56 And then I started drinking. I went with a friend to Mexico 12:59 and you can drink in Mexico at a young age 13:01 so I started there. 13:03 And then it just became that desire to want more and more. 13:05 And so then of course - the devil being as sly as he is - 13:10 introduce people into your life that just basically feed you 13:14 these addictions that you start to develop. 13:16 And so I just surrounded myself with those type of people 13:20 that I was able to get what I needed and to drink 13:23 when I wanted. OK, so was this... 13:25 Would you call your addictions 13:28 some people say "their coping mechanism" 13:31 some people just say it's "sheer rebellion 13:34 and the lust of the flesh. " Where would you land yours on? 13:39 I would say pure rebellion. 13:41 OK. You know, the lust of the flesh. 13:43 "Oh, let me see what this is like. " 13:44 At first I didn't like it. 13:46 I was like: "Oh, this tastes weird. " 13:49 "I don't like the way this makes me feel. " 13:51 But then over time, it was like: "Oh wait, this brings out 13:54 a different side of me. This brings out the person 13:57 that can party more. This brings out the more boldness 13:59 in saying whatever I want and being whoever I want. " 14:02 So it basically turned me into a different person. 14:06 Yeah... as it does. Um-hmm. 14:08 So you are now in this environment... 14:12 Did you marry someone from this environment? 14:16 I did! I did! I married somebody in this environment 14:20 and it didn't last long 14:23 because it wasn't a healthy relationship. 14:25 I realized in this time that 14:30 this relationship was just bringing me down 14:33 for a variety of reasons you know though it became 14:36 co-dependent because that relationship also supplied me 14:39 with the drug that I wanted and the need that I wanted. 14:43 And so when I left that relationship 14:46 is kind of when I REALLY went wild. 14:49 You know, basically I wanted payback. 14:53 What he did to me I was going to do to him. 14:55 But not really... it was doing to myself. 14:58 And so I really just emerged myself into the world 15:02 and really started becoming a little bit more promiscuous. 15:06 You know, involving myself with men 15:10 that were not filling me with anything 15:13 but basically taking a part of me every time 15:15 that I encountered them. 15:17 So were these men... Would you say you're attracted 15:21 to bad boys? Yeah. You were attracted to the bad boys. 15:24 Very much so! OK. 15:26 If there was going to be a bad boy at the Adventist school 15:28 I went to he was going to be my boyfriend. 15:30 Yeah, so that... And you know there's a very true 15:34 psychological phenomenon that there are people who are. 15:38 So as you then go through this divorce 15:43 and I don't care who you are or how bad your marriage is 15:48 divorces are difficult. 'Cause when you're married 15:51 you don't marry with the idea of getting a divorce. 15:57 And so it's a death of the vision. 15:59 We all have these visions that you're gonna get married 16:01 and sit on the front porch in your rocking chair 16:04 with your grandbabies on your knees. 16:06 So it's hurtful. Yes. 16:08 But obviously your husband hurt you quite a bit. 16:11 Um-hmm. So now you're out to get even 16:14 but you're attracted to these bad boys. 16:17 Tell us about that. 16:19 So I... because of that attraction 16:22 you know I got involved with somebody 16:24 that I thank the Lord now 16:27 because of the result of it and the growth that could come 16:30 from it, developing not only a relationship with his family 16:35 but also my daughter came from this relationship. 16:38 And I refer to her as my "saving grace. " 16:40 And she's like: "Mom, why didn't you call me Grace? " 16:41 And I'm like: "Because I didn't realize until 5 years after you 16:44 were born that you were truly my saving grace. " 16:47 And so because of that relationship came Natalie, 16:50 and she has been just an ultimate blessing for my life. 16:53 And I know that God... even though I was going down 16:57 my own path that God was going to steer me back. 17:00 And He did that by stopping me in my tracks. 17:03 Like there's only so much you can party 17:05 with having a baby in tow. I mean I found a way to do it 17:08 but there's only so much you can do. 17:10 And so when she came into the picture 17:12 it slowed everything down. I experienced love. 17:16 You know, this trueness of love with having her in my arms 17:19 and the love that she gave back even just as a baby. 17:22 Yeah. But when you say that it slowed things down 17:25 you still continued partying? What did you do? 17:29 You're living alone, right? You and Natalie? 17:32 Um-hmm. How did you handle that? 17:34 Well, I still continued smoking marijuana. 17:36 And so instead of going out to find it people would bring it 17:39 to me. People would come over. 17:42 As she got older I was... When we'd get off work 17:46 I'd pick her up from daycare and I would take her what we 17:49 called "lemonade hour. " My friends and I would meet 17:51 at happy hour, and she would have lemonade and French fries 17:54 and we would have a couple of cocktails. 17:56 And so I took her everywhere. 17:58 I just didn't live like... Of course, the places I could. 18:01 Actually one time I had a friend who was like Oh no, you can 18:04 bring her to the bar... it's children-friendly. " 18:06 When we walked in there and they were like: "No, 18:08 we don't have high chairs. " 18:10 And I was like: "I told you I couldn't bring her here! " 18:12 But if I could take her to a party 18:15 to any type of an event I took her. 18:17 I always took her with me. It was never: 18:19 "Let me find a place for you to go" 18:21 because she was my responsibility even though 18:23 I was acting unresponsible with her at the time. 18:28 Though I did... and thankfully because God is 18:30 so gracious and good He protected both of us 18:32 in that situation. Amen! 18:34 But you said she's under five years old 18:38 when you're taking her out to these places. Yes. Um-hmm. 18:41 And something happened. 18:46 Now I just have to give you a little hint. 18:50 Natalie's parents are really strong believers in prayer, 18:56 especially the mother and the mother's prayer group. 19:00 All this time they're praying for you. 19:03 You mean my parents? I'm sorry... I said, Natalie 19:07 but I mean Tenisha's parents. So all this time 19:10 they are praying for her. 19:12 And did they know you were taking her to bars 19:16 and partying? Praise God they didn't. 19:18 When you think about it they probably would have taken her 19:21 from me. I'm sure! 19:23 But what? How did God 19:27 finally get your attention? Because you keep saying 19:31 she was 5 and under. Something happened when she was five? 19:34 Yeah. How did God get your attention? 19:37 So when she five years old... 19:40 I remember this like it was yesterday. 19:42 We were sitting down to have dinner 19:44 and I would always... I had these little short wine glasses 19:47 that I used for our juice and I also used for my wine. 19:51 And I would pour her grape juice in hers and I would pour 19:54 wine in mine. And I remember sitting there 19:56 and she said: "Mom, I can't wait till I'm an adult like you 19:59 so I can drink wine as well. " 20:01 And that was just like a stab. That was like "Uh! " 20:04 Right in my heart like "What am I doing? " 20:07 And I realized that evening that I was not raised 20:10 in a home that drank. I was not raised 20:12 with this type of environment & what was I bringing her into? 20:17 That I was teaching her that drinking was fun. 20:19 That it was OK. It was a time to socialize. 20:23 I didn't want her to have that experience 20:26 and so to me, it was God just like saying: "Hey! " 20:29 Basically hitting me on the head like "Wake up! 20:32 This is what you're doing to her. " 20:34 And so that night was the first night 20:38 that I prayed: "Lord, please help me! " 20:41 "Please help me. " I didn't know how to pray. 20:43 I didn't know what to pray because in the past 20:46 you know with having praying parents the Holy Spirit 20:49 was always tugging in my ear like "Hey, what are you doing? " 20:53 And I just realized at that moment 20:58 I have to change things for her. I really do. 21:01 And so that was the first night I prayed "Lord, help me. " 21:04 Though I didn't listen right away. For two months 21:08 I continued to drink but every time that I drank 21:11 I was sick... sick to my stomach. I would wake up with 21:13 a migraine and I was like: "May- be I'm allergic to this now? " 21:16 But I think the Lord... He's got a sense of humor, 21:19 right? And He's just like: "OK, you're going to continue 21:21 even though you told Me to help you? 21:23 Let Me show you what it's really doing to your insides. " 21:26 Yeah, yeah. So at that point - um-hmm - when you start feeling 21:31 sick, at what point did you walk back into a church? 21:36 Well I had actually gone to church a few months before 21:39 that. OK. There was an event happening 21:42 at our church called "Fire Rekindled. " 21:45 And our pastor would do this event before a big evangelism 21:48 series... or it was the evangelism series... 21:50 but it was seven weekends of kind of reviving the church 21:53 to return to God. Build a closer relationship to Him. 21:57 And so my uncle called me and asked me to go to church 22:01 with him that Sabbath. 22:02 Prior to that... Sorry, I keep on going back, 22:05 but prior to that just a few months before 22:07 I told Natalie: "Hey, we should probably go to church 22:09 this Sabbath. " And she's like: "Mom, 22:11 church is boring. " At that point, she was four 22:14 'cause she turned five in March. 22:15 "Mom, church is boring; I don't want to go. " 22:17 And I was like: "Oh wait, I used to think church was fun 22:20 when I was little. " And so I compromised with her that 22:23 she went to an Adventist school because my parents said 22:26 "We will pay for her to go to an Adventist academy. " 22:29 And so she was going to the Adventist academy. 22:31 And I said: "Well let's go to the church where all you friends 22:33 go. " So we went there. So I started kind of 22:36 taking her back to church because I wanted her to have 22:40 the experience I did when I was little 22:42 of just being in a church family. 22:44 And so my uncle had reached out to me and said: "Hey, 22:47 let's... come with me to church this Sabbath. " 22:49 And when I went to church that Sabbath I heard a testimony 22:52 of the speaker that was there that made me realize 22:55 that God can take us from the depths of the earth, 22:58 from the darkness that we have lived in and take us completely 23:01 into light and to ministry. 23:03 And when I heard this... So this was the speaker's 23:06 testimony of what God had done in his life. 23:10 Yeah. OK. And so 23:12 that kind of just... that story: I would tell everybody 23:15 about it. I was like: "Man, this pastor 23:17 and this was the life that he walked in 23:19 and God has him all the way over here working for Him, 23:22 traveling all over the place. What an amazing story 23:25 what God has done to him! " I really really just 23:29 could identify with him and what his story was. 23:33 And so... You could identify with the dark side 23:36 and you were ready for God to turn that around. 23:39 Ready for God to change it, yeah. 23:41 And so at that point we were going kind of off and on 23:44 to church after I heard his testimony. 23:47 'Cause you know in my life I worked one Sabbath a month. 23:49 One Saturday a month at the job that I had. 23:52 And you were a dietitian? I was a dietitian. OK. 23:55 And on those weekends my parents would take Natalie. 23:57 And it was my freedom. I would party from Friday night 24:01 till I had to go to work on Saturday morning. 24:03 And then once it was over would start up again 24:05 until I had to pick her up on Sunday afternoon. 24:08 And so it was that transition time where I knew that God 24:12 just kept on tapping me on the shoulder like: "Hey, 24:15 this is the time. " And in my eyes, Jesus, you know, 24:18 was coming soon as I was seeing these things that were happening 24:21 in the world around me. 24:22 And I recognized I needed to change but I didn't know-how. 24:26 Yeah... I don't think any of us know-how. 24:29 But at least you knew to Whom you should look. Yes. 24:33 So you hear this testimony of this pastor. Um-hmm. 24:37 Now God gives you the wake-up call 24:40 of your daughter - yep - who is now... 24:45 You know, children truly do become what they behold. 24:49 Doesn't matter what you're telling them. 24:52 But if they watch your life pattern... 24:56 This is why sin gets passed from one generation 25:02 to another is because kids are becoming what they behold. 25:06 So when she is saying: "Wow! I can't wait 25:09 till I'm old enough to drink wine instead of grape juice" 25:12 God's got your attention. Yeah. 25:15 But tell us how He really captured your heart 25:21 because I would say anybody that has been brought up 25:27 in the church, walked away... You were out 18 years! Um-hmm. 25:32 So you left at 18; you were out 18 years. 25:36 I would say that you knew the rules 25:41 of religion but not the relationship. Right. 25:45 And I always say rules without relationship 25:49 result in rebellion. Yes! 25:51 So how did God? You know we put filters on our ears 25:56 when we're out there 'cause you don't want to hear from 25:58 the Holy Spirit. You know, the Holy Spirit 26:01 isn't speaking just to pass along information. 26:04 He's speaking so that we can act, that we can respond. 26:09 Um-hmm. And we kind of filter Him out some 26:12 & He can be kind of silent then if we're not going to listen. 26:16 How did He really begin to make that change in your life? 26:21 Yeah, so that night when I just prayed "Lord help me... 26:25 like really help me. I don't know what to do; 26:27 I don't know how to do this. " 26:29 There were things that were happening in the world around us 26:32 that... it just kept on... those signs kept on popping up. 26:36 Like He kept on showing me "Jesus is coming soon. " 26:39 And I saw these things happen- ing and I kept on saying: "Lord, 26:42 but I don't know-how. I've tried this before 26:45 and I don't know how to do this, you know? " 26:47 And so what the Lord doesn't reveal to us 26:52 in our conscious state, right? He reveals to us 26:55 in a dream perhaps, you know? 26:57 And so there were things that started to occur around me 27:00 that I realize this doesn't work with having a relationship 27:03 with Jesus. I'm basically committing adultery 27:06 you know by continuing in this relationship with worldly men. 27:10 And so He revealed to me: "You can't have a 100% 27:14 committed relationship with Me and still, dabble with... 27:17 with the world... with worldly men. 27:20 You need to cut this out. " It's sexual immorality. 27:22 It's sexual immorality, you know. And so 27:25 it was like I woke up that morning and said: 27:27 "OK, I'm done... I'm done. " 27:28 And I cut off relationships. I cut off things that I knew 27:32 and people that I knew that were trying to set me up 27:35 you know with others. I was like: "OK, Lord, here 27:37 I am... I'm all Yours. " You know? 27:39 And so as I continued to pray: "Lord, help me! " 27:41 You know He guided me back to reading His Word where 27:45 I went to a church one Sabbath and they talked about 27:48 the Believe the Prophets series. 27:50 And I just prayed: "Lord, I don't know how to read 27:53 the Bible. I've never read it before 27:55 from beginning to end my whole life. " 27:57 And there it was right in front of me: "Believe the Prophets. 27:59 Read Scripture and Ellen White's writings. " 28:03 And I was like: "Wow God! You're already answering my prayers! " 28:07 You know? And so I started it. 28:10 As I started to read and I started to study 28:12 the Lord was able to basically turn up my hearing aid 28:17 and I could hear Him better. Right? 28:19 And so it started with giving up that sexual immorality 28:24 that I knew that this was just making me empty. 28:27 It was draining me of the life that God wanted me to have. 28:31 And then I realized you know 28:33 another thing. I was sleeping one night and I dreamt 28:38 that I couldn't find a Starbucks. And I was like: 28:40 "Well this is weird... there's Starbucks all over the place. " 28:43 And that morning I realized that 28:45 in my dream, a voice told me "Stop letting caffeine 28:48 run your day. " And so I woke up that morning 28:51 and I said: "OK, Lord... I'm quitting caffeine. " 28:53 And so I started with those two things 28:55 and just continued to pray. And as I continued to pray... 28:58 Well now wait a minute! Wait a minute! Back up! 29:01 Because there are so many people and you know 29:04 we don't often talk about caffeine being an addiction 29:07 but... And there may be some people who have a cup of coffee 29:11 and they don't feel addicted but there are some... 29:13 You were addicted; you had to have your caffeine. 29:17 You had headaches without it and everything else. Exactly. 29:19 So when you just gave up caffeine - 29:24 and that's a Holy Spirit-empowered movement, 29:29 action - what did you go through? 29:31 And did you know as a nutritionist what to do? 29:34 Drink extra water? How did you do that? Yeah... 29:36 yes... the first couple of days 29:40 was just I was very tired. 29:42 And as coffee was brewing at my work 29:45 I would smell it and it was like the devil sitting over here 29:49 and God over here! 29:52 "Just have a sip... you will feel better. 29:54 It will take away that cloudy- ness that you're feeling. " 29:57 And then God saying: "No, no, no, you don't need it. 30:00 Draw upon Me. I will give you the strength and the energy 30:02 you need. " And so I would pray throughout the day: 30:05 "Lord, please help me. I can't do this without You... 30:08 please help me. " Explain to... Some of our viewers 30:10 are sitting there going: "Big deal... you're drinking 30:13 caffeine... " yeah... "what's the big deal? " 30:16 Why is caffeine so bad for us? 30:19 Well, in my thought it's just like another drug. 30:23 Right? It stimulates the brain in such a way 30:25 where we become addicted to it just like any drug. 30:28 It is causing us to be in a state of mind not like 30:32 marijuana or cocaine or heroin 30:34 but it gives you that burst of energy 30:36 that makes you think that you're thinking better 30:40 and you're more clear but it's just re-wiring... 30:43 sorry... re-wiring the way our brain works. 30:47 So it stimulates it and makes us feel excited 30:49 and then we go through this low and then we need it again. 30:53 And it's that addiction pattern that we develop. 30:56 The reason we're going through that low is caffeine is 31:00 very dehydrating. Oh yeah! You know, if you 31:02 and our body is... most of our body is water 31:07 and when you start taking the water out of the body... 31:10 People don't realize. They're drinking these energy drinks 31:14 that have this high caffeine. They feel like they're hydrating 31:17 and they're having just the opposite. Right. 31:20 I had a doctor tell me one time 31:23 a long time ago... he said: 31:25 "Well if you drink a cup of coffee in the morning... " 31:27 he said... "you need to drink extra water because 31:30 that coffee is taking that out of you. " Yes. 31:32 So here, people... Some people LIVE on coffee - 31:36 right - and don't realize that the reason they're 31:38 so tired is because they're dehydrating their body 31:43 and injuring their kidneys. OK. 31:45 Plus it ruins your sleep cycle, right? 31:47 So you don't sleep as well the next night and then you need 31:49 more the next day so it's a vicious cycle. 31:51 OK, so God now has... the bad boys, worldly men, 31:57 sexual immorality... God has cut you free 32:01 from the cord of the wicked that was binding you. Yes, yep. 32:04 Now caffeine. Yep. He's cut you free from 32:08 the cord of the wicked. What about the marijuana and alcohol? 32:11 Uh... so alcohol was the next thing 32:15 and I had decided that I needed to do a cleanse. 32:17 Because of giving up caffeine I realized that my body was 32:20 lacking a lot of things. OK. So in August... So in May 2015 32:25 is when I had recognized I don't want my daughter 32:29 to be drinking. It took me a couple of months to finally 32:32 just completely give it up and so August of 2015 is 32:35 when I said: "OK, Lord, I'm surrendering this to You. " 32:38 Which was the hardest month of my life 32:41 because being a social person 32:44 always wanting to go where everyone is 32:46 doing what everyone else is doing 32:48 I had to also stop hanging out with the friends 32:51 that were going to happy hour which was my normal routine. 32:53 Bad company corrupts good morals. Yes, very much so. 32:57 And so I love... and I love them dearly 32:59 and we have a friendship now as I have kind of separated that. 33:03 I don't need it anymore. I realize that God can help me. 33:05 The temptation is no longer there I should say. 33:07 And so I remember one evening 33:10 when everyone was going to happy hour and I chose to go home 33:13 and Natalie and I went for a walk. 33:15 And I remember thinking: "Lord, if life with You is lonely 33:18 I don't want it to be lonely, Lord. Please show me 33:22 that You're here with me. That I don't need alcohol 33:26 to help me be filled with joy and happiness 33:30 because of the people I'm with. " 33:31 And as I was on my walk it was like the presence of Jesus... 33:35 Like He grabbed my hand and said: "I am here with you. 33:39 I am walking with you. You will never feel lonely again. " 33:42 Amen! And I used to be in a group of people 33:45 and still had that loneliness. And now I can be all by myself 33:48 you know and I know Jesus is right there with me 33:50 holding my hand. And so I don't even worry about that any more. 33:54 I love that so much, Tenisha, 33:57 because I call it practicing the presence of God. 34:00 And when I recently went through some surgeries 34:04 and I've always prayed for people who are having 34:08 a difficult time, people who are grieving the loss 34:11 of a loved one, people who are discomforted. 34:16 I've always prayed: "Lord, give them a divine awareness 34:19 of Your presence. " Um-hmm. A supernatural awareness. 34:22 I mean we can say intellectually 34:26 "Oh yes, we know that the Bible says 34:29 in Ephesians 3:16-20 "Jesus lives in our hearts by faith. 34:34 The Holy Spirit's in us. " 34:36 But we don't always recognized His presence. 34:39 And I began praying that for myself. 34:42 And all of a sudden it's like you're saying: 34:45 it's like you feel like He's holding your hand. 34:47 You realize He's with you when He said: "I'll never leave you 34:51 and never forsake you" He meant it! Amen. Yes. 34:54 Now I want to point out one thing 'cause I don't want to 34:56 leave people with the wrong impression. OK. 34:59 You, although... I mean you're a dietitian. 35:02 You're a mother. Even though you drank 35:05 you were very responsible because you told me in the 35:08 green room you would have two drinks 35:10 'cause she's taking her daughter to happy hour with her 35:13 she'd have two drinks and she'd eat afterwards. 35:16 And everybody made sure that she was perfectly sober 35:20 when she got in the car with her daughter. Yes. 35:23 So it's not like you - other than maybe with the men 35:28 you were rather reckless - yes - 35:30 but as far as a drinker you were not 35:32 a reckless sloshy drunk. 35:37 Correct. OK. Correct. 35:39 All right, so... And I think that's because of praying 35:41 parents. I do too! 35:43 Because I think there would have been many opportunities 35:47 for me to have that blackout moment. 35:49 But I strongly believe because my parents were constantly 35:53 praying for me that God always had His angels 35:55 with me and kept me safe in these very horrible situations 36:00 that I would put myself in. 36:02 Amen! Amen! Yeah. 36:04 So now the alcohol's gone? The alcohol's gone. 36:07 Let's talk about the marijuana. OK. 36:09 Well, the marijuana was really hard for me. 36:13 Because of the age of 16 starting it and just increasing 36:17 the intake it became like a best friend. 36:20 It became what was my coping mechanism? 36:23 If there was stress at work, 36:24 if there was stress in a relationship, 36:25 if there was any type of stress 36:27 you know, somebody annoyed me then I could just go 36:29 home and get high and forget about it and be happy again. 36:32 And so though I through the years had tried to quit 36:35 marijuana... When you start a new job you have to take 36:38 a drug test, and I would just go through these panics 36:41 'cause I hoped I passed this test. 36:43 And so I tried to quit many times and it was very very 36:46 difficult... the need for it. I would throw things out 36:49 and then go back and buy everything again. 36:51 And then it was unfortunate that Colorado became a state 36:54 that legalized marijuana so it was like going to the 7/11. 36:57 You could find it anywhere. 36:59 And so I continuously prayed. 37:03 And I recognized at that moment that God had removed 37:06 addictions to me in such a certain way to help me 37:09 get rid of this one. 37:11 And so marijuana helped me to be more promiscuous. 37:15 Marijuana helped me... I needed coffee 37:18 to stay functioning after smoking all night. 37:21 And then marijuana also helped me drink more, right? 37:24 And so here I gave up these things and like: "Well what do I 37:27 need it for now? Is it a coping mechanism? " 37:30 Well, Jesus says: "All you need is Me. 37:32 I can help you with this. " 37:34 And so again that pastor came back and shared 'cause 37:37 he came back and did a two-week Revelation seminar. 37:39 And he shared that first night that he was there that 37:42 marijuana is what led him into the life that he lived. 37:46 And it was just like this lightbulb went off 37:48 and I was like: "Lord, that's all I needed to hear. " 37:50 So I went home and I threw everything out 37:53 and I said: "I'm done. " 37:55 And so thankfully only through the strength 37:58 that God gives us, right? We can do "all things through 38:00 Christ who strengthens us. " 38:02 Only through the strength that He gave me every day 38:04 was I able to resist it moving forward. 38:07 And there would be times that would come up where my 38:09 coping mechanism would be you know finding a joint, 38:13 finding something to smoke it with. 38:15 That it was no longer there and I would fall on my knees 38:18 and pray: "Lord, please help me get through this. " 38:21 It was also a very emotional time because when you use 38:24 a drug to mask your feelings 38:26 you finally have to let everything out. 38:28 And so I went into a... You used it for at least 20 yrs. 38:31 Yes! at that point. Every time that I didn't want to 38:34 cry or I didn't want to go through that emotion 38:37 that's what I used and now I had to learn how to 38:39 go through those emotions. Which I knew that God was 38:42 helping me through that. Yeah... amen. 38:45 So it's amazing 38:49 that here you are 38:53 and now God is just taking... He's cutting you 38:57 free from each cord that's binding you. 39:00 Um-hmm. And wait till you hear 39:03 how God has led her since she surrendered her whole life 39:07 to Him. You're free! 39:11 What is God doing? 39:13 Well, God's doing a lot of things. 39:15 That verse always comes to my mind 39:18 that He will give MORE than we can even ask or imagine. 39:21 Right? And so when I finally 39:23 was just released from all of these what I call addictions 39:28 the last one being food 39:30 again God... Now, wait a minute. OK, hit the pause button. OK. 39:35 You were a dietitian. I was a dietitian. 39:37 But what do you mean you had a food addiction? 39:39 Well, I was an over-eater. 39:42 I would eat till my heart was content. 39:44 And I would eat anything. I had no restrictions, 39:47 no limitations. And so 39:51 God revealed to me in a dream 39:54 that I had an addiction to food. 39:56 My dream was actually sitting at a buffet 39:59 and eating everything that I could possibly imagine. 40:01 So food was a coping mechanism as well. 40:03 Food was a coping mechanism as well. You know, if I had 40:05 a bad day: French fries. 40:07 If I broke up with a boyfriend: pizza. 40:09 I mean there were foods that identified... 40:11 Potato chips. If I was stressed at work, 40:13 those were things that I would grab onto. 40:15 And so God revealed to me again in that day 40:19 I woke up and I started my first cleanse. 40:21 I started my first fast. I did a Daniel fast. 40:25 And I tell you, all the other drugs and addictions 40:29 nothing compared to food. And as we talked about earlier 40:32 you need food to live, right? 40:34 I was a dietitian. I talked about food all day. 40:36 I taught people how to eat well, how to manage their diabetes 40:39 with a healthy diet. And I recognized at the end 40:43 of that week like: "Lord, that was what was holding me. 40:46 You know, that was really hold- ing me from really connecting 40:50 with You. Just eating till all hours of the night. " 40:52 Being cloudy of mind. Sugar and fat and all the things 40:56 that were hindering my mind to be clear. 40:59 And so that was the final big addiction. 41:03 'Cause there's a lot of little things - right? that come up 41:05 over the years that we recognize that God is still working 41:08 in us. But those were the 5 big ones 41:10 that He said: "Now... now you are ready. 41:14 You'll see that I am the God who can do all of this for you. " 41:18 Was food as difficult as marijuana? Yes. 41:21 Yeah, because you still have to keep eating. 41:24 And it's a daily self-control... daily. 41:29 You know, it's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 41:31 You have to eat it. I think that some of our 41:35 bad food habits is just because 41:37 we're always in such a rush and we get into a pattern 41:40 of looking what's convenient and sometimes processed food 41:44 or packaged foods are just so much easier 41:47 to say: "Oh, I'll just eat this. " Yes. 41:49 And that's part of it. But God delivered you 41:53 and you finally started practic- ing what you were preaching 41:56 about good nutrition. Yes... sure did! 41:59 That's wonderful. So you are sharing your testimony. 42:05 You shared it at your home church, right? Yes, yes. 42:08 Tell us what the ladies of the church talked to you about 42:12 afterward. So that... I think it was in 2019 42:17 the first time that I shared my testimony. 42:18 So for four years, God was working through me on how to 42:21 share the testimony of what He had done in my life. 42:24 And so that Sabbath after I shared and came down 42:28 and was greeting everyone one of the ladies 42:31 from my church said: "We have been praying for you 42:34 for 18 years and today God answered our prayers. " 42:37 Glory to God! And not just... That showed me 42:40 there that the power of prayer 42:44 needs to be... Well, the power of prayer 42:49 is what God leads us to do. He provides that power 42:53 to us when we pray, but that persevering attitude 42:57 that we have toward others who have left the church - 42:59 absolutely - or who we think is going astray 43:02 all we need to do is pray for them. Those ladies 43:04 never came to me and said: "Tenisha, the life that you're 43:06 living is wrong. " They prayed consistently 43:10 and fervently for 18 years for me 43:12 and never said anything to me other than that. 43:15 And you know, I have... This is what I believe: Um-hmm - 43:19 I believe that like my sister was in a life of drugs. 43:23 I prayed for her earnestly. 43:25 When you walk away from God 43:27 He tells us II Chronicles 15:5 I think 43:30 somewhere in there, He says: "You reject Me 43:33 I'll reject you. " God's not going to force Himself on us. 43:37 You walk away from Him you're saying: "Don't want You. " 43:41 He says: "OK... 43:43 I will put handcuffs of love. I've given you free will. 43:47 I'm not going to force Myself on you. " 43:48 But boy, when you've got somebody praying for you 43:52 when you're praying for that child that walked away 43:55 that's like the key that unlocks that 43:57 and gives God permission to be working in their life. 44:00 And my sister used to tell me: "I knew you were praying for me. 44:04 There's so many times that I should have been dead, 44:06 I should have been this. " Um-hmm. 44:08 And it was that earnest prayer 44:11 and I believe strongly in praying others back 44:16 to the Lord. But now tell us what you're doing. 44:19 God did something that was amazing to me 44:23 when you're praying "What can I do for You? " 44:25 What did He have you to start doing? 44:27 Yep. So even before I got re-baptized in October of 2015 44:33 the Lord told me: "It's time for you to start holding 44:35 women's Bible studies in your home. " 44:37 "It's time for you to show them what I have done for you 44:40 and that He could do the same thing for them. " 44:42 So I would put together Bible studies. 44:45 I had no idea what I was doing 44:47 but I prayed for the Holy Spirit. 44:48 He promises us the Holy Spirit, right? Amen. 44:51 And so I started holding Bible studies in my home 44:54 in August of 2015. 44:56 And each time... It was once a month 44:59 and each time I would pray for God to bring somebody new. 45:02 And He would bring somebody new. And each time 45:05 that person or somebody else would leave and go 45:07 "This is just what I needed. " And we started with Eve 45:10 and went through the women of the Bible. 45:11 And about a year later some friends that lived 45:14 on the other side of town said: "Hey, why don't you come 45:16 to our house and start doing the Bible studies there? " 45:19 And so He started with that. 45:21 And then I just started saying "yes" to helping in church 45:25 in any way that I can 'cause the pastor preached about 45:28 the parable of the talents. And I'm like: "OK, God, 45:31 You give me singing - which my daughter is so much better 45:35 singing than me - but He started: "Hey, 45:37 you feel comfortable with singing. " And then from there 45:39 He just started showing me: "These are the other talents 45:42 that I have for you. " So the parable of the talents 45:45 says if you have one and you use it 45:48 God's gonna give you more, Right? Yep. 45:50 And He'll give you more! That is a sure promise. 45:53 And so from there He just moved me into 45:56 what I now love to do the most is prayer ministries. 46:00 I love to pray with people. 46:01 I'm the prayer coordinator at my church. 46:03 And I just enjoy doing for others what others did for me 46:09 and that's praying to God 46:10 and just helping them in any way that they can. 46:13 And my boss gave me this sign: My secret is prayer. 46:17 Amen! And so I just love that because it is. 46:21 "We should just pray about that. Why are we even gonna stress? 46:23 Let's just pray. " And so that is what I feel God 46:27 has just grown me into. 46:29 How He called me out of the world through the prayer of my 46:31 parents, through that small women's group at my church, 46:34 and then through my own prayers. 46:35 He pulled me out and then helping me overcome 46:38 these addictions was all through prayer 46:41 and that's how I was able to do that. 46:43 Amen! Prayer and the power... When you pray you're 46:47 bringing down the power... bringing down God's blessings 46:51 and the power of the Holy Spirit. Exactly. 46:53 And that's one thing I think that was life-changing 46:56 for me. I know it was life-changing for my sister 46:59 is that I taught her pray every day to be filled with 47:02 the Holy Spirit. And God taught you that. Yeah. 47:05 So tell us what you're doing now. 47:09 I mean God just keeps... it's like... He just... 47:14 You're a flower that's still blossoming. Yes. 47:17 What's God got you doing now? 47:19 So after years of praying that I could go into full time 47:22 ministry wherever it is that He would have me go 47:26 I would go. And then I got a call 47:29 from a friend who told me that there was a position available 47:31 at the Voice of Prophecy. And I said: "OK, 47:36 I will apply for it. " And I interviewed for it 47:38 and just prayed: "Lord, if this is where You would have me be 47:41 then this is where I would go. " 47:43 And the Lord just opened that door. 47:46 This is where I learned when you are doing things in God's will 47:50 how the doors just kind of fly open for you. 47:53 Because when you are praying for things God doesn't want you 47:55 to have and you kind of push through the door and keep on 47:58 pushing it's like: "No, no, no, I'm not opening that door! " 48:01 And right there with that moment in time 48:03 so anything else that I was praying for that the door 48:07 didn't open I left here. And I said: "OK, God, 48:10 I see how You worked through this prayer. I prayed to work 48:12 in ministry. I prayed for this position at the VOP 48:15 and every door just kind of opened like it was the easiest 48:20 thing that I had to do. " 48:21 And so now I'm working at the Voice of Prophecy. 48:23 It has been a blessing to be there. I'm part of the 48:26 evangelism team. And from there God is just 48:29 expanding more of the talents God has given me to do. 48:33 I'm a part of the team that goes to Calgary in preparation 48:36 for Revelation Speaks Peace 48:38 and I get to lead the other prayer ministry coordinators 48:40 therein making what I think is the most important job 48:44 is prayer... starting with prayer for any event. 48:47 Amen and Amen! 48:49 So the prayer... Explain this because 48:53 how I say it, Tenisha: prayer... communion... 48:58 communicating, that's communion - um-hmm - 49:01 is the most important part of any relationship. 49:06 Most important com- munication skill is to listen. 49:10 But if you can't communicate with your spouse 49:16 your relationship is... or your child or your boss... 49:20 your relationship suffers. I actually say 49:23 conversation IS the relationship. 49:26 That's how relationships begin. 49:29 So when we pray we're just talking to God 49:32 as... Well yes, He is our Savior, He is our Lord. 49:36 But we're talking to Him as our Father, 49:40 as our Friend, and He DOES definitely respond. 49:45 What is the most powerful thing 49:48 that you've learned about prayer? 49:51 Wow! The most powerful thing that I've learned about prayer: 49:57 one thing that I keep in mind every time is that I'm not 50:01 bringing God down to me but He is lifting me up to Him. 50:04 That's good! And so one of my favorite things 50:06 to do during prayer is imagine myself kneeling 50:08 before the throne of God 50:10 in that reverence and beauty and the love and rainbow 50:14 and everything that's beautiful behind that. 50:16 And so being in prayer with God like you said 50:19 is... is this communication. 50:23 Like our best friend... we can tell Him anything. 50:26 One of my favorite quotes is 50:27 "Let Jesus be our only confidant. " 50:29 We want to share with everybody else in the world 50:31 what's going on, but He is the only One 50:34 who can help us with that problem. Amen! 50:36 And so that is what I've learned about prayer: 50:39 that Jesus is the only One who can help us. 50:41 In the presence of God and the presence of the angels 50:44 we are with Him through prayer. 50:45 And we can come BOLDLY before His throne of grace 50:49 to find mercy and grace in our time of need. 50:52 And as our High Priest who's been tempted in every way 50:56 as we have been tempted: He is interceding for us. 51:01 And the Bible says that He is "able to save 51:05 to the uttermost. " Why would we want to go tell somebody else 51:08 our pitiful little stories when we can go to somebody - 51:12 Amen! that can actually, change us? Yeah! 51:15 Tenisha, I am so excited that 51:19 God has taken you... and I'm not going to say full circle 51:24 'cause you weren't there in the beginning. You didn't 51:26 have that relationship but there was still good seed 51:30 that was planted. Yes. And then God did not 51:34 forsake you during those 18 years but He's brought her 51:37 back and He's giving her the desires of her heart 51:41 because He's made His desires her desires now. Um-hmm, yep. 51:46 And we are just so thankful that you came to share 51:50 'cause I know this is going to truly bless many people 51:54 and help you. We're not quite through with Tenisha. 51:58 She's got a little advice for us. 52:00 But we do need to go to our news break. 52:03 Stay with us... we'll be right back. |
Revised 2022-07-12