Participants:
Series Code: RQRA
Program Code: RQRA000008A
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00:01 I don't understand,
00:04 why did this have to happen to me? 00:08 I feel like I just can't make sense of things. 00:12 I need answers. 00:15 Where is God? 00:20 Hello and welcome to Raw Questions Relevant Answers, 00:23 the program where we take a look 00:25 at the questions that you have sent in 00:27 and try to answer those from a biblical perspective. 00:30 My name is Michelle Doucoumes. 00:31 I am your host today and I am joined by my co-hosts 00:34 Dee Casper and Mark Paden. 00:36 So today's topic is "Transitioning to Adulthood." 00:40 For some, this may have been something 00:42 that you really looked forward or are looking forward to 00:45 and the freedom that comes with it. 00:47 For others, this may be a bit of a kind of scary thing 00:49 to think about. 00:51 So we are going to try to take a look at this 00:52 and see what advice we can have 00:55 for this transition as Christians. 00:57 Our first question today comes to us from a male, 01:01 18 years old, in Texas. 01:03 And he says, "How do you find and maintain 01:06 a strong spiritual support group 01:09 when you are independent and on your own in a new place? 01:12 What do you do if you are the only Adventist 01:14 in your work, college, or home?" 01:17 I think the first thing to do is to do diligent search 01:21 to find likeminded individuals in the community where you are, 01:24 take some time. 01:26 The nice thing is when you've got Facebook, 01:27 when you've got Google, you can find a local church 01:30 and just see what exists. 01:32 Sometimes there's multiple options 01:33 but start there. 01:34 I've got friends that ended up in environments like that. 01:37 They didn't find a lot of young people where they were 01:38 but they did find supportive families. 01:40 They were kind of like a mother in Israel to you from the far, 01:43 someone who's just wanted to be in encouragement 01:45 to other church members. 01:46 That's the first place to look. 01:48 Just to have someone to encourage you 01:49 in your faith journey, where you are, 01:51 even if they are not the same age. 01:53 The second thing is, if you are isolated in a situation 01:56 where in your college, in your work, whatever it is, 01:59 you don't find people of similar mindset, 02:02 it's a witnessing opportunity for sure 02:04 but one question you're gonna ask yourself is, 02:07 "Am I here to be an influence or am I being influenced?" 02:11 And one of those transitioning into adulthood questions 02:14 we had to ask is, "Am I ready for that? 02:17 Or should I make my next move to a place 02:19 where I have more support to begin with?" 02:22 But if you are already there, 02:24 then we just had to make the most of it, right? 02:25 And find accountability and good mentorship 02:28 in that location. 02:29 You know, this also brings up another interesting point. 02:33 You know, let's say we are just transitioning into that, 02:38 maybe we are going to college. 02:40 We also need to be careful of the associations we form 02:44 even if we go to a place 02:45 where there are lot of likeminded people, right? 02:47 The people... 02:49 Our closest friends influence us a lot. 02:52 We really become a mix of our three closest friends. 02:57 So if you are, you know, 02:59 just starting out going to a college 03:01 or wherever you are after now that you kind of left home. 03:04 You know, this is a really good time to start thinking 03:06 intelligently about who you are becoming friends with. 03:08 Don't just become friends with somebody because, 03:10 you know, they are fun to hang around or whatever. 03:13 Be intentional about choosing and forming close friendships 03:15 with people who'll guide you closer to God. 03:19 But if nobody like that is around, 03:23 make God your counselor. 03:24 We've talked to friends online, 03:26 you know, there's people all over the world 03:28 that think like you do and believe like you do. 03:31 So find people online to talk to that... 03:36 I mean there's plenty of people and certainly, you know, 03:38 friends from other places, call them once a week, 03:40 have online prayer meetings and studies and what, you know? 03:43 You know, it's true. 03:45 Technology puts you in a situation 03:46 that maybe you do have close spiritual friends 03:48 but they are not geographically close any more. 03:51 With technology as it is, 03:52 you can have FaceTime prayer meetings together. 03:54 You can do stuff like that to make sure 03:56 that your batteries are being charged 03:58 and you have some form of accountability, 03:59 we all need that, right? All of us do. 04:01 Those in ministry, those in school, 04:03 those at work, we all need it. 04:04 And if you can't find it in your immediate proximity, 04:07 technology can still keep you in contact with those you know 04:10 can help in those areas. 04:11 You know, I was given some advice 04:13 that I appreciated it once and that was that we all need 04:15 kind of three groups of people in our lives. 04:17 We need people that we minister to 04:19 and that could be the friends at your secular school, 04:22 secular workplace, secular family, 04:25 but at the same time, 04:26 we also need people that we minister with, 04:29 those likeminded friends 04:30 who we keep each other accountable 04:32 and we encourage each other. 04:34 And then we need people who minister to us, 04:36 those are our mentors, those who really can look 04:40 at things from a different perspective. 04:42 And so seek out that balance. 04:44 Don't be afraid to be in a place. 04:45 God may call you to a place where you are the only one 04:49 or feel like you are the only one 04:51 and you are there for a purpose. 04:53 But at the same time, 04:55 build those other relationships like you all were saying 04:58 so that that balance is there. 04:59 The moral component is very, very important 05:01 in these settings. 05:02 You need to have moral likeminded individuals 05:06 that have similar morals and principles. 05:08 We have to have that in life. Right. 05:09 We shouldn't only retreat and be hidden only with them, 05:13 but we definitely need that in that sense 05:15 to have that proper balance. 05:16 All right. 05:18 Our next question comes from a young lady, age 26, 05:23 and this is going to be about going out 05:27 and getting a job. 05:29 I'm sorry, actually age 21, 05:31 says, "I have a part time job and a business. 05:34 My parents are worried that if I move out now, 05:37 I won't make it on my own. 05:39 My concern is that they're right... 05:42 But God will take care of me... 05:44 Right?" 05:45 You know, I'd love to speak to this one because... 05:47 Well, you've done some... Yeah... 05:49 of those like that... Okay. exactly, exactly. 05:51 You know, I'm not the oldest person 05:52 on this platform right now and I... 05:55 What did you say? 05:56 We are not going to tell you who is, yes. 06:00 Yeah, but I've... 06:03 You know I am self-employed right now. 06:04 I do freelance video in photography and design 06:07 and you know, I don't have a stable income 06:11 coming from one individual, 06:13 you know, I have to find clients on my own 06:15 and do all that. 06:16 And I had to admit, it was a little bit terrifying 06:18 when I jumped out into it. 06:20 And I sense some of the same thing here, 06:22 you know, they are starting the business 06:25 and they have a job part time 06:28 and they are wanting to leave home. 06:29 You know, the biggest thing that I've learned 06:33 in my personal journey is that God has had a plan for my life. 06:36 Wow, yeah. 06:38 You know, this work that I do... 06:39 It's a ministry, it's not just ads for, you know, 06:43 cars or whatever, not that that'd be wrong but you know, 06:46 this is something that God has led me into 06:49 and clearly guided in and at every step of the way, 06:52 He has provided for me to be able to do that. 06:55 And I've seen many times 06:57 when I stepped out on to my own, 07:00 because even before doing what I am doing now, 07:02 I was involved in another ministry 07:03 where you know, funding wasn't readily available 07:08 and, I mean, my parents were a little bit 07:11 concerned about it, you know? 07:13 But you know what I've found? 07:14 God provided it at every step. 07:16 There was never a time when I lacked money 07:20 for the basic necessities of life. 07:22 Now I should throw in a word of caution. 07:25 I am not recommending that it's just like, 07:28 "Oh, let's just jump out into it 07:30 and trust God because..." 07:32 We shouldn't jump off the temple 07:34 hoping that the angels will catch us, if you catch 07:36 my reference, right? 07:37 And of course that's from the Bible 07:38 where Satan comes and tempts Christ. 07:40 Matthew 4, yes. Yeah, yeah. 07:43 We shouldn't do that. 07:44 And there are certain things, "Be a cautious risk taker," 07:49 is what I like to say. 07:52 Make sure that you have things lined up 07:56 in case the things don't work out, you know? 07:59 If your business suddenly goes under 08:01 or something like that, have a plan, 08:03 you know, be smart about it. 08:05 It's not just about blindly trusting God 08:08 and jumping out into the abyss. 08:11 We want to make sure that we have enough money 08:14 to build the tower before we build the tower. 08:16 Right. 08:18 The fact that God calls people out to do faith ventures 08:20 like this does not necessarily mean 08:22 that God has called you to make this venture. 08:24 And the question we have to find the answer to is, 08:26 "Is this what God is asking me to do? 08:29 Or is it just that I know that God has called people 08:31 to do this in the past and that's what I want to do?" 08:34 And there is a big distinction here. 08:36 If this is what God is calling you to do, 08:38 and Mark and I had to do this 08:39 a lot of kind of flying by faith, 08:42 in a lot of our ministry ventures 08:43 together and individually, that we have been in situations 08:46 where God has provided for our day-to-day bills 08:49 and not much more than that. 08:50 But we've seen so many miracles and testimonies 08:52 because we committed to radically giving 08:53 and radically living, but that's where God called us. 08:56 And so that's the first thing, 08:58 we've talked about this in a previous program. 09:00 What is the will of God for your life? 09:02 If God is calling you to start this business 09:05 and God is leading that, 09:06 it's God's responsibility to provide for you. 09:08 It's your responsibility to be faithful 09:09 of what He has given and to be responsible. 09:12 And so I think those are the principles 09:13 we need to keep in mind 09:15 and not just that God calls people there, 09:17 did God call you there? 09:18 If yes, it's His responsibility to keep you 09:20 while you are there as long as you are abiding 09:22 and following His principles. 09:24 I agree with you guys. 09:25 And it's interesting because entrepreneurship 09:27 is actually one of the things 09:28 that I teach in business and so I love that. 09:32 There is a quote in a book called Education 09:34 that talks about how God created men as thinkers 09:37 or the powers to create and to do. 09:39 And there's something beautiful about stepping out 09:42 and trying something. 09:44 And if you believe God is leading, 09:46 that's a risk that may be worth taking. 09:48 I also though realize that there is a place 09:51 for getting godly counsel. 09:52 If your family, your mentors, 09:54 others are cautioning you with this, 09:56 it might be something to really listen and think about. 09:59 Sometimes as young people, we have lots of zeal 10:01 but we are not used to getting the wisdom 10:05 always to go with it. 10:06 We don't always know what's realistic, 10:08 so do get counseled. 10:10 But on the other hand, there are times to step out. 10:12 Not everyone may understand your decision 10:14 to do an unconventional path in life. 10:16 Yeah. 10:18 But the Lord can be in those things too. 10:19 And I just want to throw in here too. 10:21 When I made the decision to become self-employed, 10:24 you know, I had talked to with quite a few counselors 10:27 like especially one of my main ones, 10:29 he is a business manager 10:31 and so he understands the world of business. 10:35 And so having that help in getting out there 10:38 and also I had back-up. 10:40 I had two things that 10:42 even if I didn't make a single dollar that month, 10:44 I would be okay. Yeah. 10:47 It ended up falling through and... 10:49 But anyways, God provided it. 10:52 But I think it's a good point though 10:53 that it's very important for us to seek out counsel 10:56 from people in the direction that we are going. 10:58 True. Yeah. 11:00 And so I am a big, big believer in seeking out 11:02 subject matter experts in the area that I am pursuing. 11:05 So if someone is being called to start a business, 11:08 go reach out to entrepreneurs who have had success 11:10 and ask them questions. 11:12 Right. 11:13 If God is calling you to be involved in media ministry, 11:14 go talk to a media ministry individual and ask them, 11:16 "What was your experience like?" 11:18 One of my favorite questions to ask people is, 11:21 "What are the things that you wish 11:22 someone would have told you 11:23 when you started knowing what you know now?" 11:25 Oh, yes. Yeah. 11:26 I ask that question to everyone. 11:27 "What do you wish someone would have told you 11:29 when you started knowing what you know now?" 11:30 Yeah. That's right. 11:32 And because it saves you a lot of time 11:33 and a lot of hardship when we do that. 11:34 Yeah. 11:36 All right, guys. 11:37 So we've got another one. 11:38 On top of that, we have a female, age 26, 11:41 from California that is asking, 11:43 "How do we find our personal footholds 11:46 on the journey of life without feeling the pressures 11:49 and expectations of our family?" 11:51 So we talked about work. 11:52 But now what about our personal life? 11:54 As we get out there, beyond maybe the scope of home. 11:56 That one is no joke. 11:58 I mean there's cultural components and others 12:00 where there's so much pressure from our family 12:02 to be what they want for us to be 12:04 that sometimes can pressure us out of going 12:07 where God wants us to go. 12:08 Yeah. Jesus understood this, right? 12:10 His brothers did not fully understand His mission 12:13 or believe in Him to some degree at the stage. 12:15 I think it's in John 7, and it's a difficult impression 12:19 that we may have to contend with, 12:20 and this is why knowing who we are in Christ 12:22 in our identity and where He is leading us 12:24 in His will is of the chiefest importance 12:27 in those moments of disconnect and disharmony in our home. 12:30 And one of the thing too that I would mention in this 12:32 is make sure that your desire, 12:36 because oftentimes where this comes from is, 12:39 you know, you want to go in a certain direction, 12:41 you are having a lot of pressure from your family 12:43 to go in another direction. 12:45 There is going to be sometimes 12:46 where honestly your family is wrong. 12:48 There is going to be other times 12:49 when honestly you are wrong. 12:51 Right. 12:52 Be sure, be cerebral about it. 12:54 Think through it. Be wise. 12:57 Ask God and really seek for wisdom 12:59 and don't just try to do the thing 13:01 that you would prefer to do in a headstrong away. 13:05 You know, sometimes our parents... 13:08 We don't like to admit it. Yeah, but they are right. 13:10 But then other times like in what you are mentioning, 13:15 you know, parents can really hold young people back 13:19 from the ministry that God wants. 13:20 And sometimes that's because the parents 13:22 just want financial security for the kids. 13:25 God may not want financial security for you. 13:27 Right. Okay? 13:28 Or He may provide it in a means they don't know about. 13:30 Exactly. Yeah. 13:31 But God calls people sometimes to mission fields 13:34 where there is not... 13:37 You don't get a 401k, you know? 13:39 So as we sum this up, you know, 13:41 it's an interesting thing that this is a time in life, 13:44 transitioning to adulthood, that is super important 13:47 because God may be calling you right now to really examine 13:50 what you believe and why, to look at those things. 13:52 Yes. 13:54 All of us have to go through this process 13:55 of knowing for ourselves 13:57 who we are, what we believe 13:59 and what God has to say about us. 14:00 So go to God's Word, seek counsel, 14:03 and God will lead and guide you. 14:05 Thank you for joining us today. 14:06 Check out our Facebook page, RQRA3ABN. 14:10 We'll see you next time. |
Revised 2018-08-20