Pure Choices

You Thirsty?

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Xavier Morales (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Jacques LaGuerre, Myesha Lawson, Timothy Lawson

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Series Code: PC

Program Code: PC000097A


00:02 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:07 may be too candid for younger children.
00:43 Hello, and welcome to another great episode of Pure Choices.
00:46 I'm your host, Xavier Morales.
00:49 And I would now introduce to my panel.
00:50 Next to me is my beautiful, wonderful wife,
00:53 Brittany Hill-Morales.
00:55 And over here, we have Tim Lawson
00:57 and Mrs. Myesha Lawson and Jacques LaGuerre.
01:01 Welcome, welcome.
01:03 Today, we'll be talking about dating traps.
01:06 What are dating traps?
01:07 And the title of today's topic is,
01:09 "You Thirsty?"
01:11 Are you thirsty?
01:12 Today, we will be getting into these questions
01:14 and really understanding
01:15 what a dating trap is all about?
01:17 But before we begin, let us pray.
01:20 Dear Heavenly Father God,
01:21 we just wanna thank you right now
01:23 as we learn from your Word
01:25 and learn what dating traps are all about,
01:27 in Jesus' name, Amen.
01:28 Amen.
01:30 Well, the first obvious question is
01:33 what is a dating trap?
01:35 How would you define that?
01:38 Tim?
01:39 I think a dating trap is anything that
01:42 kind of entices you to date a person,
01:46 but then later on,
01:48 you find out that that thing was then important
01:52 wasn't all as cracked up to be
01:53 and now you're trapped as
01:55 where you had to deal with something
01:57 you didn't really want to deal with.
01:58 You know, I can't remember myself
02:02 trying to be a dating trap myself,
02:04 you know, in the beginning you're nice
02:06 and you're cordial,
02:07 but really inside, I'm a 100% selfish
02:10 and I only want, you know, what I want,
02:12 I really don't care what you want,
02:13 but I'll give you what you want so I can get what I want.
02:17 What I know the definition to be
02:19 is like either like a trick or a ploy
02:23 that you try to use
02:24 because you perceive it to be essential
02:27 to a successful relationship.
02:28 But what it really does? It leads to its demise.
02:32 Jacques?
02:33 I'd say, it's any umbilical method
02:36 that you try to use to get into a relationship
02:39 or a method that is used against you
02:42 that results in a relationship being formed.
02:45 That's right.
02:47 Yeah, that's right, okay.
02:48 Well, so what a dating traps to is, you know,
02:51 understanding what the word "trap" means?
02:53 You know, "dating," "trap"
02:55 they just doesn't seem to go together.
02:57 You know what I mean, so you're setting a trap.
02:59 You're essentially setting...
03:01 there is no end goal.
03:02 You know, you're just trying to, literally,
03:04 trap the person into getting what you want.
03:07 I guess one of the questions would be,
03:09 what are some of the most common dating traps?
03:13 Most common dating traps would be social media.
03:18 Okay. Okay.
03:19 I mean it's so easy for me to post pictures,
03:24 say little comments about myself,
03:27 basically putting myself out there
03:30 knowing that it will attract another guy or woman
03:35 and just basically seeking attention
03:37 for someone to, you know,
03:41 message me back or like my pictures
03:44 or just trying to get someone's interest
03:46 or trying to get someone's attention
03:48 so he can, you know, contact me.
03:52 I like that. Go ahead, Jacques?
03:54 I'd say another dating trap is what are we dating trap?
03:58 That's where you start to get physical with someone you...
04:00 as a man, you start to get physical with a young lady
04:03 and then she asked you the question,
04:05 "What are we?"
04:07 And you don't know what to say.
04:08 And so since you guys have been getting physical
04:10 and you like what's going on,
04:12 you just decide to get into a relationship
04:14 when you had no intention originally
04:16 and now you're dating someone that you don't really like.
04:22 Yeah, yes, I have that one, I call it scarcity trap,
04:25 you know, where things are scarce,
04:27 slim pickings,
04:28 and I think, you know,
04:30 that was a fairly common one too where, you know,
04:33 you kind of limit...
04:34 you limit it to what you can choose
04:36 so you just go with whatever
04:38 and make that person fall into your gimmick
04:41 like I like the marketing trap.
04:42 Do you have anything to add?
04:44 Yeah, the marketing trap,
04:45 I think if one is at a whole way
04:47 to cross the board, that's probably one.
04:50 You know, nice looking or clothes are nice,
04:53 car is nice, house is nice,
04:55 everything on the outside is nice,
04:57 it looks all appealing,
05:00 but inside, it can be terrible and really horrible
05:04 and so people market themselves,
05:06 kind of like she was saying on internet,
05:07 some women market themselves to appear sexy
05:10 and to appear that they will engage in this activity
05:15 and men do the same thing,
05:17 you know, some people go to the gym
05:18 not just to get in shape,
05:20 but to market themselves better, to look better.
05:22 I was just thinking about what you were saying about
05:24 how the pickings are slim.
05:25 You usually hear that
05:27 like when I went to the college,
05:29 they say, "Okay, while you're here,
05:31 make sure you get your degree and your Mrs.
05:34 because when you got into the real world,
05:35 the pickings are slim,
05:37 there are not that many good black men out there,
05:39 so you really want to get someone here,"
05:42 because, you know, the school I went,
05:44 "You have to get someone here as soon as you can
05:45 because when you're out there,
05:47 it's going to be a struggle,
05:48 you're going to be single for forever.
05:50 So you might as well find someone here."
05:51 I like that 'cause that kind of
05:53 leads into the other dating trap,
05:54 date to mate trap.
05:55 We see that a lot in our community,
05:58 especially our Christian community,
05:59 the dating trap, you know, I remember,
06:02 you know, the stories I would hear of...
06:05 you know, you go pray, give them Bible study,
06:07 you know, go pray with them a little bit,
06:09 you know, take them to the Lord,
06:12 but while you're at it, you know,
06:13 take them with you too.
06:15 You know, I don't know what are you guys think,
06:17 the date to mate trap.
06:19 I think... Yeah, go ahead.
06:21 I was actually talking with the young lady
06:23 the other day
06:25 and she was telling me that
06:28 that's something that happens a lot.
06:30 If a young woman
06:31 who's not essentially sanctified
06:35 is trying to trap a young man, she might ask him,
06:38 "Hey, let's have Bible studies."
06:41 And then, after that happens,
06:44 that's when she's going to make her move
06:46 and so that is something that happens
06:48 and you have to be careful
06:49 that you're not putting yourself in a risky situation,
06:52 no matter what the activity is.
06:54 Especially, especially,
06:56 if you are trying to seek the Lord
06:58 with all your mind and heart
06:59 and you're a guy or you're a girl,
07:01 once you do this
07:02 and some might knows what you're about,
07:04 they know you spiritually, they know you love the Lord,
07:06 then you will meet this people
07:07 who look like they have
07:09 the greatest relationship with the Lord,
07:10 they walk with the Bible out, they're in church all the time,
07:14 they look really sanctified,
07:15 but it's just a act to catch you,
07:17 you know, so you can date them
07:19 because you're "the type of person"
07:21 that they want and so, you know,
07:23 church is a wonderful place, but everybody who's in there,
07:26 not in there for Jesus.
07:28 So you got to be careful.
07:29 I think you're right about that
07:30 because you see that a lot in our Christian community,
07:33 the date to mate trap where,
07:35 you know, there's pressure especially on people
07:37 that are trying to become pastors.
07:38 There's a lot of pressure on them to get married,
07:42 you know, to be hireable and there's...
07:45 that is a trap in itself, you know,
07:47 you can't be unequally yoked in the church.
07:49 And yes, I want to tell our viewers,
07:51 you can't be unequally yoked in the church.
07:53 So this date to mate trap is not an uncommon thing
07:56 to see in our Christian circles,
07:58 but that's why we have God, you know,
08:00 to get that discernment, to get that understanding
08:03 because the traps come from the devil.
08:05 Yeah.
08:06 But salvation comes from God,
08:08 so in understanding Him and His Word
08:09 and where he wants to take us,
08:11 we, you know, kind of, learn these traps
08:13 and understand them a little bit better.
08:15 Yes?
08:16 Another trap that I was thinking about is,
08:18 "Are we compatible?"
08:20 And usually, how it goes is,
08:23 "Okay, we have a lot of fun together,
08:25 we can go out, we can laugh,
08:27 for like, I mean, we talk for hours,
08:29 so maybe we're good friends,
08:31 so maybe this would actually work."
08:33 And they don't really sit down and figure out, okay,
08:35 will this really make a good relationship?
08:38 Will it really make a good marriage?
08:40 They're so much...
08:42 They're so focused on the fact that they had fun together.
08:44 They don't think about, okay, are they good with finances
08:46 or are they going to make me broke?
08:48 They don't know how to...
08:50 Does this person want children?
08:52 They're just like, "Oh, you know,
08:54 we're just having so much fun.
08:55 So because we're having fun, it's going to work out.
08:57 We're compatible in this shape or form."
09:00 I think another trap too would be like the rescue trap,
09:02 you know, where the guys, you know, you like to rescue,
09:05 you know, you're the, rescue the damsel in distress.
09:08 And you go in and, you know, you see this girl,
09:11 she's very attractive,
09:13 now you know
09:14 you're not supposed to be with her,
09:16 you know, you're not supposed to talk to, you know,
09:17 be around her like that,
09:18 but yet you feel, you want to be the rescuer.
09:20 "God, I can fix her, I can make her better."
09:22 Same thing, women, you know, they like that...
09:24 and Christian women do this too.
09:26 They like that bad boy like, "I can make him better.
09:29 I will make him into that clean slick man
09:31 he needs to be for Lord."
09:33 What do you think about that, Myesha, in that regard?
09:37 No, you cannot change a man, okay?
09:41 Like you said, you can't change a woman either,
09:43 you know, you just have to let God
09:46 do the transformation
09:47 because even though you're trying to change them,
09:50 you can change or...
09:52 in the midst, you're going to end up changing yourself.
09:55 So I think that you should stay more focused on letting God
09:59 find you someone
10:00 and not doing things on your own behalf
10:03 or to your own understanding.
10:05 Let go and let God.
10:07 What I... Go ahead, Jacques?
10:09 What I'd say is, you know, if you're looking for a spouse,
10:12 you should focus on evangelism,
10:14 not girlfriend or boyfriend evangelism.
10:17 Now because if you want someone who's serious about the Lord
10:21 and you're serious about the Lord yourself,
10:23 you should be trying to witness to other people
10:25 and I believe one of the purposes
10:28 for companionship and for marriage
10:30 is to be useful, more useful in ministry.
10:32 And so getting into ministry
10:34 and separating your ministerial life
10:37 from your dating life
10:39 'cause those things should never mix.
10:41 To pay back of what Jacques said
10:42 and I think that's exactly
10:44 what the Lord is trying to show us in Genesis.
10:46 It was through Adam fulfilling his work for the Lord
10:51 that he found the need and the desire
10:55 to have a mate when he was naming the animals
10:58 and then he saw them two by two,
11:00 then he began to wonder, you know, "Where's my mate?"
11:02 Through that experience, God did put him to sleep
11:05 and made his mate
11:07 and then God brought his mate to him.
11:10 Now Adam was focused on his work
11:12 and his relationship with God
11:13 and God let him understand some things,
11:15 God created the woman and brought it to him.
11:18 So Adam didn't have to seek, and look, and change anybody.
11:22 I like that.
11:24 I'd like to, you know, put a pen on that one
11:26 because it's important to understand that
11:28 the Bible says that,
11:30 "Then God brought the woman to the man."
11:32 You know, a lot of times in our society and our culture,
11:35 the man have to go out there seeking and looking
11:37 and that's a trap from the devil.
11:39 It's not saying that you...
11:40 It's a sin to look or anything like that,
11:43 but it's to say that,
11:44 your game, everything like that,
11:46 that means nothing, if she is from the Lord,
11:48 He will bring her to you.
11:50 The issue is, will you wait for her to come?
11:52 Same thing with the women.
11:53 Eve had to have enough trust that God was leading her
11:56 to where she needed to go.
11:58 Do you trust?
11:59 You know, the women out there,
12:01 do you trust God is leading you to the right man?
12:03 Which leads me to another question
12:05 or another trap,
12:07 what about the attraction trap
12:08 where strong physical attraction means
12:11 chemistry?
12:14 That's the worst one.
12:16 You know, that's the worst one because you have these urges,
12:20 some people have
12:21 such a strong physical attraction,
12:24 they can't even think anything else, you know,
12:27 they love even just staring at each other,
12:28 looking at each other and it borderlines into almost,
12:33 you know, lust enough to one another and they figure
12:36 because they desire each other so much physically,
12:41 they try to implement the mental and the spiritual.
12:45 "So because we like each other so much
12:48 that I'm going to pray with her,
12:50 I'm going to try to bring the spiritual element into here
12:53 that really probably doesn't even exist at all."
12:57 What about the sex trap?
12:59 You know, the chemistry underneath the sheets,
13:00 you know, what do you think about that?
13:02 I switch, I think that's the worst one in all of them.
13:04 That's the worst one, right?
13:06 That's the one.
13:08 I've had a few people actually say, you know,
13:10 they're not going to get married
13:11 to the person unless they tested out
13:13 to make sure it's going to be good
13:16 and this is like Christians.
13:17 I'm like, "Seriously?"
13:19 Like, "Yeah, 'cause you have to make sure
13:20 you have that chemistry like what if you get married
13:21 and it doesn't work out?"
13:23 But I think some people forget that
13:25 sex is more than just technique.
13:29 Do we do it good?
13:31 Sex is about that intimacy
13:32 and even if it's not good that very first night
13:35 because of the relation that you guys are building,
13:37 you guys can build on it and make it better.
13:40 I'd like to just say, you hit it right on the nail
13:44 because the physical attraction,
13:46 the world tells you,
13:47 almost you post it test it out first
13:49 so you know what you're working with
13:50 and that's because the world doesn't understand
13:52 about holiness.
13:53 You know, the bible says that,
13:54 "As you grow and abound in love,
13:56 so will you in holiness towards the love."
13:59 And sex is an expression of the love
14:01 you have for one another.
14:02 So as both of you all get closer to God,
14:05 God's going to work in that area
14:06 to make it more richer and more deeper
14:09 and the reason we have a lot of these things in society,
14:12 you know, sex counselors
14:14 and couples having problems with intimacy
14:17 is because they're not growing in holiness
14:19 and a spiritual relationship
14:21 is the most intimate relationship,
14:22 you know, on earth.
14:24 What about what they call the lone ranger trap?
14:27 The lone ranger trap where, you know, people tell you,
14:30 "You won't be happy unless you get married."
14:32 You know, you need to be...
14:34 Being single is almost sinful or against...
14:38 It's an anomaly, it's against normal society.
14:41 What do you think, Jacques?
14:43 I think that is a half truth in a way.
14:46 God made us with a hole in our heart and he made us...
14:50 And he made the hole so big that only he could fill it.
14:53 And so when you're single, when you feel that loneliness,
14:57 it's not a call to a spouse,
15:01 it's a call to get closer to Him.
15:04 And so to say that I'm going to use a human being
15:07 to do in my life what God should do,
15:10 that's idolatry.
15:13 And so when someone says that,
15:15 they don't truly understand that
15:17 peace and joy can only come from God.
15:20 I like that. Do you have something?
15:22 Real quickly, can I mention like two of my trap,
15:25 favorite traps I'm hearing so much among females?
15:29 The first trap is like this idea
15:31 that one is just going to appear.
15:33 She's...
15:35 One of my friends is like she's so quiet, so shy,
15:38 but for some reason, she believes
15:40 her husband is going to just,
15:43 I don't know, maybe appear in her room
15:45 and I that's how you're going to just click and get married.
15:50 Or the other trap that I've seen so much of,
15:55 especially, as a pastor is, you get these text messages,
16:00 you get these emails saying,
16:01 "I just had a dream and God told me,
16:04 I'm supposed to marry you."
16:06 God never told me this dream.
16:08 He never revealed it to me.
16:10 He didn't say anything, but you have those prophets,
16:13 so prophets who are like,
16:15 "You're going to be with this person,
16:16 that's the one for you."
16:18 "God didn't tell me that."
16:19 "He will, He will."
16:21 Years have passed but God still hasn't told me.
16:24 Wow.
16:25 Now what do you guys think about that?
16:27 You know, that's just trying to use
16:31 spiritual things for your own selfish purposes,
16:33 you know, God...
16:36 You know, there are those instances I guess
16:38 where God tells this person like
16:39 He came to Joseph in a dream
16:41 and then told him about Mary,
16:43 but that's stretching the Bible for your own purposes
16:45 and saying what you want, God is telling you,
16:49 you know, you can have what you want.
16:50 And that's deceptive.
16:53 And I think we see that
16:54 through a flip side in the world of their way,
16:56 you know, the guy throws a line to the girl that,
16:58 you know, "You've been in my dreams,
17:00 I've been thinking about you."
17:02 And you just met this girl
17:04 and you're saying all these things to her.
17:06 I call that stalking.
17:08 Well, let me give another disclaimer,
17:10 say the person is not lying and the dream is real.
17:13 Remember this, there's a great controversy,
17:14 so there is a devil around
17:16 who can implant thoughts and visions in your mind
17:18 so you got to be super careful.
17:20 You know, you might have had a dream,
17:22 but you're not Nebuchadnezzar, there ain't no guarantee
17:26 from the Lord, you know.
17:28 So you've got to check on that.
17:31 My husband told me I was going to be his wife
17:33 and look at me now, so the Lord is good.
17:36 See that's the importance again,
17:37 you guys, you know, of waiting of...
17:39 I think you both have to have that revelation.
17:42 It can't just be only one person...
17:44 I agree.
17:45 ...hearing and the other person
17:47 no matter how much they pray, no matter...
17:49 it's like, God is like,
17:50 "No, no, you're not supposed to be with that person."
17:52 And I think
17:54 if it's a young girl or a young man,
17:56 if God is telling you no,
17:58 then don't doubt your relationship with God
18:00 and believe that that person is right.
18:02 If God has told you once,
18:04 if He has told you twice, listen,
18:05 if He has told you three times,
18:07 why are you still talking to that person?
18:08 Run. Right.
18:10 Run. Go, Joseph, run.
18:13 And I think that's important to understand too
18:15 because that brings a serious trap to mind
18:17 that is we...
18:19 it feels good, we're together, we can make it work.
18:23 If we wanted it to work so bad that every red flag, fireworks,
18:27 God is putting up billboard saying, "Run, run, run."
18:29 They still want it to work, you know,
18:31 what do you do in that situation
18:33 when, you know,
18:34 one of those dating traps that you are, you know,
18:36 you wanted to work so bad, even though you know
18:38 you're not supposed to be together.
18:41 You need to just fast and pray
18:44 because it's something that is keeping you there
18:47 and you know that it's not good.
18:50 You know it's not going to work.
18:52 I'm pretty sure...
18:54 I know for a fact,
18:55 the Lord is going to send you red flags
18:58 and you still go ahead anyway, there can be some consequences,
19:03 the marriage can end badly
19:05 or within the marriage will be a lot of conflict.
19:09 So you just need to really be mindful
19:14 and listen to the Holy Spirit
19:16 what He's exactly telling you?
19:17 Jacques?
19:19 Well, I've never been in that situation myself.
19:21 I've talked to many of my friends
19:23 that were in relationships that have been going for years.
19:27 And so what I did in that situation,
19:30 I tried to talk with them,
19:31 I tried to ask them what the positive things were
19:34 and what the negative things were.
19:36 And I tried to lead them to pray
19:38 because what I used to do is just tell the person
19:40 'cause you're looking at it objectively.
19:42 You know, just from outside point of view,
19:45 this relationship is unhealthy.
19:47 But that person has invested so much time
19:50 and money and energy
19:53 and maybe they're physically involved
19:54 so that even closer
19:56 and so in that situation if you're one of those people,
20:00 like Myesha said,
20:01 you really need to fast and pray
20:03 and ask God for strength
20:04 to do what you already know you have to do.
20:08 And also let me just add two things,
20:11 if you are feeling like
20:12 you're supposed to be with this person so much,
20:15 if the two of you have been physical,
20:17 then your vision is already destroyed.
20:20 What you think is important
20:22 and what you think is so deep
20:23 has been amplified by both of you being physical
20:26 and another safe thing
20:28 that most people don't want to do,
20:29 especially most young people,
20:31 when they decide to get with one another is,
20:34 the Bible says,
20:36 "In a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom."
20:38 There's nothing wrong with asking older people,
20:40 other people, marriage counselors
20:42 about the relationship and listening to advice.
20:45 I can remember, me and my wife in particular,
20:48 we were going to get married and we waited,
20:50 you know, a whole another year.
20:51 And, in that year, you know, more things came out that we,
20:55 you know, still needed to work on
20:56 and mature on and things of that nature,
20:58 that we solved,
21:01 that we didn't have to take into the marriage.
21:03 I like that. I like that.
21:05 For the viewers out there,
21:06 you know the truth is coming
21:07 when your spouse looks at you like,
21:10 you're answering the truth
21:12 and I got to see that today, I got to see that here today.
21:15 Yes, he did.
21:17 You know, as Christians,
21:19 we often look to the Word of the God
21:21 for answers.
21:22 You know, we see the negative things that happen
21:25 and then we see the answers that God provides.
21:28 Can we see an example of dating, you know,
21:31 what dating looks like in the Bible?
21:33 Can we see an example of that?
21:34 What it looks like in...
21:36 Was it right or was it wrong?
21:37 Jacques?
21:39 Well, when it comes to the dating traps of the Bible,
21:41 I think of the story of Dinah.
21:43 She was the only daughter of Jacob
21:46 and the Bible says that
21:47 she went out to see the daughters of the land.
21:51 And she was curious
21:53 and she went into a place, Ellen White says,
21:57 she was in association with ungodly.
22:01 And what happened with Dinah was,
22:03 there was a man by the name Shechem
22:05 and he forced himself upon her.
22:07 And so Dinah went into a place, into a very ungodly setting,
22:13 not being fully aware of the dangers that were there.
22:16 And I see that happening a lot of times
22:18 with young women.
22:20 The statistics show that
22:22 one in four women of college age
22:26 will be sexually assaulted by the time they leave college,
22:30 and many of them involves alcohol,
22:32 it involves drugs, it involves ungodly music.
22:35 And so we have many Dinahs nowadays,
22:37 putting themselves in very precarious situations,
22:40 very unsafe where there are a lot ungodly men.
22:43 And a man who is not controlled by the Spirit of God,
22:45 you have no clue what he's going to do,
22:47 and so what situation you put yourself in.
22:51 The bad situations,
22:53 those can be a trap in and of themselves.
22:56 So then, I'm a Christian or maybe I'm not a Christian,
23:00 either way, why should a Christian date?
23:03 Like why should anybody date?
23:06 Well, I think dating in a way,
23:09 it's carried on
23:13 is not a Christian institution.
23:17 So I'm not sure
23:18 if dating in the way the world wants you to date
23:20 and the way they conduct it
23:23 is the way that Christians should go about
23:26 getting to know the opposite sex.
23:28 I don't think if you're Christian,
23:31 you should date,
23:32 especially the way the world tells you to.
23:33 I think Christians should court.
23:36 And courtship is that type of relationship
23:38 where both the man and the woman
23:40 are trying to figure out or determine
23:42 what is God's will in their lives.
23:45 As in for this relationship,
23:46 does God want us to come closer?
23:47 Does he want us to set apart?
23:49 And courting is so much better, in dating,
23:52 you're just going about and saying, "Okay, let me see,
23:55 this person's kind of cute, they're nice."
23:57 But with courtship,
23:58 Christ is in the centre from the beginning,
24:00 it doesn't just start because,
24:02 "Okay, we're thinking about marriage now."
24:05 No, before they even started thinking about marriage,
24:07 as they are looking at each other,
24:09 they're focusing, "Okay, God,
24:11 what is it that you want me to do?"
24:12 And that's the best place to be.
24:15 What do you guys think?
24:16 I think totally that's the way to go.
24:18 I think dating is a trap itself,
24:22 you know, you're giving affections
24:25 and another person is taking affections
24:27 and there's no promise
24:28 that anything is going to happen
24:30 or going to have any fruit even after this.
24:35 And to court with
24:39 as a responsible people
24:41 with other responsible people
24:42 knowing that you guys are courting,
24:44 that can ask questions that's almost like
24:46 accountability partners, you know,
24:49 where you guys going,
24:51 if you guys going to be alone, how late at night,
24:54 and things like that,
24:55 is the way that God intended to be
24:58 that you guys are getting to know each other
24:59 in the context of God watching the Holy Spirit watching
25:03 and it's for the purpose of marriage.
25:05 So you know if that...
25:07 I already know that you're looking at marriage
25:10 and I'm looking at marriage,
25:11 so there's no dating game about what you're about?
25:13 What you're going to do?
25:15 I know you're seeking the Lord for marriage
25:17 and that's what I'm trying to do.
25:18 And we're just trying to see, we had the right people
25:20 or if we just need to say, you know, see you later.
25:23 See with court, you...
25:26 there's boundaries, okay?
25:29 There are boundaries and there are rules.
25:31 But with dating, anything goes.
25:36 And those are the just the two different
25:37 and I will not date.
25:40 I'd rather not date
25:41 or I recommend anyone else that are trying to,
25:44 you know, that are out there, that are single,
25:46 they shouldn't just date, they should court.
25:47 Well, you can't date, can you?
25:49 No, I can't. That's right.
25:51 Make sure to put that disclaimer down there.
25:54 She's not single.
25:55 I know, I know. I'm not single.
25:56 We're making pure choices here, pure choices.
25:58 Jacques?
25:59 I'd say the thing about dating
26:01 and the reason why dating is so dangerous
26:03 is that it doesn't have any intentions, you know,
26:06 you don't declare intentions upfront.
26:09 And so when people have different goals
26:12 for their relationship and they're not talking,
26:15 they're not communicating, that's when people get hurt.
26:17 But when you're courting or you're dating intentionally,
26:20 then it is a man and a woman,
26:23 they come together for the purpose of saying,
26:26 "Does God want me to spend the rest of my life
26:28 with this person?
26:29 Can this person draw me heavenward?
26:32 Will the world be blessed because of our union?"
26:34 You know, "If we would have children,
26:37 would this other person raise them up in the fear
26:40 and administer of the Lord?"
26:42 Or and if you can't answer yes to all those questions,
26:45 you politely terminate the relationship.
26:49 And with that, you know,
26:51 dating traps is such a crazy thing nowadays
26:55 and we need to understand that, you know,
26:56 for the viewers out here, that it's not a game.
26:59 You know, dating is often taken as a game.
27:02 And avoiding these dating traps through the method of courtship
27:05 which seems to be old and, you know,
27:07 from ancient times,
27:09 it's actually very popular today.
27:10 I can say that to myself, you know,
27:12 I've dated before I was a Christian.
27:14 I've dated...
27:15 I've done the whole dating aspect.
27:17 But when God placed in my heart to court my wife,
27:19 to really spend time with her, to really get to know her,
27:22 I got to know the person that I love and care for today.
27:26 You know, I got to, you know, know my best friend,
27:29 know her who she was and that's the importance.
27:31 If you want your marriage to work,
27:33 if you want to be able to bear fruit
27:36 through your marriage, learn to court.
27:38 Avoid these dating traps, you know,
27:40 spend time getting to know your significant other.
27:42 And, guys, don't be so quick with the game.
27:45 God said He's going to bring you the women,
27:47 so just chill and just wait.
27:50 And I just want you to know that God is always there.
27:52 He's always going to help us,
27:54 and always, always, always remember
27:56 to make pure choices.
27:59 Thank you for tuning in.


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Revised 2017-11-26