Pure Choices

I'm Going Crazy Waiting

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Jeanne Mogusu, Kimberly Pearson, Kory P. Douglas, Marquis Jackson

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Series Code: PC

Program Code: PC000022


00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned
00:04 that some material may be too candid
00:06 for younger children.
00:39 Hello, welcome to Pure Choices.
00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson,
00:43 and we are in for another exciting topic today
00:46 for this program and I want to start out
00:47 by introducing our panel once again.
00:50 To my left, I have Miss Kimberly Pearson,
00:53 who is the assistant chaplain at Oakwood University.
00:56 And then we have Pastor Kory Douglas,
00:59 who is the pastor at Grand Avenue
01:01 in New Life Fellowship, there in Missouri.
01:05 And we also have Jeanne Mogusu,
01:08 who is the BSAS President
01:10 and a graduating seminary student.
01:13 And we also have Pastor Marquis Jackson,
01:16 who is the pastor of The Sumter in Manning district
01:19 there in South Carolina.
01:21 So we have an awesome panel
01:23 and we have an awesome and exciting topic
01:25 because this is a really important one.
01:28 The title is, "I'm going crazy waiting."
01:32 And we wanna say, just to start off that,
01:34 you know, none of us are sitting here
01:35 as an authority on this
01:37 because we all know we have made mistakes,
01:39 we have, we're still attaining to glory.
01:41 Amen. We crossed this angle. Oh, yeah.
01:43 And we praise God for mercy and grace.
01:45 But we just wanna open up the discussion of this thing,
01:47 knowing that we all are single, waiting,
01:50 if you wanna say waiting,
01:52 we're gonna talk about that also.
01:53 And in the struggle, that tension.
01:54 All right, so we're gonna start out by just reading a,
01:58 an email that came in for the show.
02:01 And as I pull up my...
02:02 iPhone 5.
02:03 iPhone 5 here.
02:06 I shouldn't advertise for them.
02:08 All right, here's the question.
02:10 So it says, or here's the scenario here.
02:12 "People always make it seem like
02:14 guys are so preoccupied with sex,
02:16 but I'm a female and I think about sex all the time.
02:21 Is something wrong with me?
02:22 I'm not going around sleeping with a lot of guys,
02:25 but I have been sexually active.
02:28 How do I control my thoughts?
02:30 They say it's better to marry than to burn.
02:32 What does this verse mean...
02:33 Even mean?
02:35 Do I need to just hurry up
02:36 and get married so that I'm not lusting?
02:39 I don't know what to do."
02:42 So open up to the panel.
02:44 What would you say to her?
02:47 I would first of all be curious as to what is, a lot.
02:50 She says she's not sleeping with a lot of guys, you know.
02:56 By her saying, she was sexually active,
02:58 I am assuming she is no longer sexually active
03:03 and I would, then I would go to the verse that she's quoted
03:08 because I really do believe that,
03:10 that verse has been used a lot by people
03:13 to perpetuate a fallacy.
03:15 That, you know, marriage is a cure for my lust,
03:21 for my sexual desires.
03:25 And I would, I would say, you know,
03:27 if you cannot control yourself now,
03:29 you're going to need to control yourself a whole lot more
03:32 when you're in marriage,
03:33 because then you've committed your life
03:35 to just one person, you know, for the rest of your life.
03:37 Right.
03:38 And so to think that just by getting married,
03:40 all these things will miraculously disappear
03:43 is, is a myth, at best.
03:47 I like the fact that she was honest.
03:49 I think we oftentimes have this myth that,
03:51 all guys think about is sex.
03:53 And all women think about is marriage.
03:55 And I'm not saying that y'all don't.
03:57 But, you know, women, we were designed with urges,
04:01 and feelings, and desires, just like men, and so,
04:04 it may present itself differently
04:06 but it's still there.
04:08 And so I honor the fact that she's like,
04:10 "How do I deal with these urges and these feelings?"
04:13 And, you know, one of the things I noticed,
04:15 she said that she's been sexually active.
04:17 And what happens is, you know, the Bible says,
04:19 "Do not awaken love until the time is right."
04:22 Solomon.
04:23 And so when you have sex outside of marriage,
04:25 outside of the confines that God created,
04:27 it awakens something in you that is hard to put out.
04:33 And then when you're bombarded by images of sex and music,
04:36 there's so many things with sex.
04:38 It's hard not to think about those things,
04:41 so one of the things I would tell her
04:42 is to check her environment.
04:44 Is she listening to music
04:45 that perpetuates sex outside of marriage?
04:48 Is she hanging out with a lot of friends
04:50 who are maybe engaging in sex?
04:51 Is she still dating guys or friends,
04:54 with guys who she's had sex with?
04:55 I would look at those things, you need to move yourself,
04:59 take a time out.
05:00 Well, I'll just say, you know, I'll be vulnerable upfront.
05:03 If she is like me, you'll need to stimulate.
05:06 You just, you know, it's just, it's just,
05:08 you just think about sex, you know.
05:09 This is something you want me to try really,
05:12 anybody doing that now.
05:13 You know, so, I mean, you know, so, I mean, you know,
05:16 sometimes people wonder,
05:17 "Okay, I have this urge, so is it bad?
05:19 You know, is it wrong to have this urge?
05:21 You know, and if I do have this urge to have sex,
05:23 shouldn't I just act out on it?"
05:25 You know.
05:27 We discussed in a previous, previous program,
05:31 episodes of program, the whole affect that,
05:33 you know, sex is a good thing.
05:35 You know, the urge is natural.
05:36 You know, we are made to want other people to be intimate,
05:39 that's what God has created us for.
05:41 One of the things that I think we should address though
05:43 and she mentions it and you mentioned it,
05:45 is that issue of control.
05:47 "How do I control myself?" is what she said.
05:49 And, you know, the question comes about,
05:51 how do you control yourself
05:52 and is it even your responsibility
05:54 to control yourself?
05:55 You know.
05:56 How do you go about doing that,
05:58 especially from the Christian perspective?
06:02 Like you were just saying as well,
06:03 I'm thinking about when Joseph went up,
06:05 Potiphar's wife came to him, and he's, you know,
06:07 he had a spiritual perspective, he said, you know,
06:09 "How can I do this against, you know, Potiphar,
06:11 and sin against God?"
06:13 And so it's like, when she,
06:16 in encouragement to the young lady
06:18 and also we're just encouraging ourselves as well
06:19 and say, in this procedure, we have to understand
06:22 and to pray that God will give us that control.
06:24 It is hard.
06:26 You know, sometimes you're gonna open a piece of candy
06:28 and, you know, you see the commercial,
06:30 that lady's scantily clad and says, "Oh, my goodness,
06:33 I can bring you back to that."
06:34 And we have to find, you know, I have to find,
06:36 we have to find ourselves in a perspective of saying,
06:38 "Lord, keep me
06:40 in the midst of a very heavily saturated sexual environment."
06:44 And so, like you said earlier, you know,
06:46 if it means to cut off the radio,
06:47 to some of the songs.
06:49 All of the songs that are just
06:50 kind of cut it to perpetuate,
06:51 because the songs do have
06:53 subliminal messages to it, so.
06:54 Well, I mean, you know,
06:56 and what you said was good about Joseph,
06:57 but, you know, and the fact is that,
06:59 Joseph said, "I do not want to sin against God."
07:02 So and that's a big component of it.
07:04 But, and many times,
07:06 especially our generation, we say, hey,
07:07 it's about what I need for myself.
07:10 You know, this is what I need to do.
07:11 I need to get, I mean, yeah, God, He still loves me.
07:14 I still love Him.
07:16 But, hey, you know, I'm not perfect.
07:17 I just got to get mine. You know, I got to do this.
07:19 You know, so that kind of seems to be
07:22 one of the big issues too.
07:23 Would you not agree?
07:25 I believe it is a big issue, but I think one thing
07:27 we need to recognize is that
07:29 of all the things that were made in creation,
07:33 we were the only ones made in God's image.
07:35 And I believe with that comes some sort of responsibility.
07:39 Of all the things, animals in the animal kingdom,
07:43 we, human beings are the only ones
07:44 with an innate ability to have self control.
07:50 When you see an animal in heat,
07:52 all it wants is, I mean, just be real.
07:55 To put the fire out. It is put the fire out.
07:57 It cannot control itself
07:59 and so it will, it will seek a sick,
08:02 you know, sick release.
08:04 And every other animal.
08:06 We are the only ones, as human beings,
08:08 who can actually, I guess, control those urges.
08:13 And we are not animals.
08:14 And I think sometimes,
08:16 with looking at how society has portrayed us,
08:19 as human beings,
08:21 we are literally portrayed as animals.
08:23 That, "Oh, I want this, so I gotta have it right now."
08:26 And we live in a fast food generation,
08:28 where, if I feel it now, I wanna have it now.
08:32 It's all about me
08:34 and that's not how we were created
08:36 and so it's no wonder
08:38 we are saturated with these desires
08:40 and we don't know what to do with them,
08:42 because that's the environment we've grown up in,
08:45 and we continue to perpetuate it.
08:48 But speaking of desire, you know,
08:50 I think about how do we control that desire,
08:53 we live in a society that says,
08:55 manufactures things that help us cure our desires.
08:59 We were made to crave.
09:00 We were designed with desire.
09:02 The problem is we try to solve those desires with,
09:06 so they say, sin.
09:08 Sin is a illegitimate means of solving a legitimate need.
09:13 So we have legitimate needs for intimacy,
09:15 but we try to solve them in illegitimate ways.
09:17 Illegitimate ways.
09:18 Like, I can be honest, like,
09:20 my love language is physical touch.
09:22 I like to hug, I like to cuddle,
09:24 like that is my thing.
09:26 And me knowing that, like, I have to make sure that
09:29 I don't put myself in a situation
09:32 where that desire is gonna get ignited.
09:34 But sometimes, as women we don't realize that,
09:37 it's that we'll compromise,
09:39 I want to hugged, I give up sex,
09:43 in exchange for some other legitimate need.
09:47 And so that makes it difficult, the Bible says,
09:50 "How can a young man remain pure?
09:52 By keeping my mind on the word of God."
09:54 So when you meditate on the word of God,
09:57 it tunes you back into
09:59 where to get your desires and needs met.
10:02 And that helps to kind of quench the fire.
10:05 Okay, so we have this desire.
10:09 We have to gratify ourselves,
10:11 but, you know, where do you draw the line?
10:13 I mean, is self, is trying to gratify yourself,
10:15 is that ever okay?
10:17 Is there ever a time, I mean, is there a cut off, so, okay,
10:20 well, this is going too far?
10:24 Well, there is a difference.
10:25 I mean, when you're telling about self,
10:26 there is a, I guess, differential four letter words,
10:28 love and lust.
10:30 When you look at lust,
10:31 lust is about getting what I need to get,
10:32 when I need to get it, as quick as I need to get it,
10:34 with whomever is gonna give it to me.
10:36 And lust, it builds that up.
10:37 But then there's also another four letter word called love
10:40 and what love is, is actually love is not necessary getting
10:44 but is giving.
10:45 And when you give of yourself, like the Bible says,
10:47 "For God so loved the world
10:48 that He gave His only begotten Son."
10:50 When God gave, it showed His love.
10:52 So in the context of a male and a female in a relationship,
10:58 dating, relationship, or talking,
11:01 whatever relationship.
11:02 It's the procedure where they are,
11:04 if they are in true love, their gonna love that,
11:07 they're gonna themselves to that other person,
11:10 themselves to hold back until this time.
11:12 Because we just said, you know, to wait until,
11:14 as psalmist said, "Do not stir up love until its time."
11:17 Because when that happens,
11:19 that could become very dangerous.
11:20 There's a whole lot of people
11:22 giving themselves to the other person,
11:23 because they love them
11:25 and they use that idea
11:27 of giving yourself away to love somebody
11:31 as a way of getting an illegitimate need met,
11:34 so it's kind of like, I love you,
11:37 so or you love me, you'll have sex with me,
11:39 or maybe not sex, but let's do everything else,
11:42 but sex, to show me
11:44 or show the other person you really care,
11:46 that you really love them.
11:47 We're meant to go and define everything else,
11:49 but go ahead.
11:50 Well, you know, it's like,
11:51 it goes back to what she said about,
11:53 "guard the avenues of your mind."
11:54 You know, the Bible says that,
11:55 "guard the avenues of mind."
11:57 And it also says
11:58 that we shouldn't make any provision for the flesh.
11:59 You know that while God is working on us,
12:01 we know He's changing us.
12:02 He can curb the desire,
12:04 but we shouldn't do anything to make the desire stronger.
12:05 You know, you don't go places that you know will tempt you,
12:08 you know, those, you know, okay, if I'm an alcoholic,
12:11 if I was an alcoholic, if I had to struggle with alcohol,
12:12 someone had that problem,
12:14 you probably wouldn't wanna go do ministry at a bar,
12:16 after you get baptized.
12:17 You know what I am saying?
12:18 Because you know I struggle with that.
12:20 So the same thing, I mean, the same principle applies,
12:23 if you know your desires are strong, you know,
12:25 don't go somewhere one on one.
12:26 Don't be in a dark room.
12:28 Don't go places that promote that.
12:29 Don't watch the things that you know
12:31 will bring up those desires in you.
12:34 Yeah, God has given us natural desire
12:36 but don't intensify that desire to the point
12:38 where you won't be able to control yourself.
12:40 And also the environments that we create around us,
12:43 you know, like if I'm a female,
12:46 I'm reading romantic novels all the time
12:49 that build this image within my head
12:51 of how I need to be with someone,
12:53 and he's gonna come and sweep me off my feet,
12:55 and he's going to do everything else,
12:58 you know, you know the romance novels.
13:00 You know, he'll ravage, he'll ravage you, you know,
13:03 and this list goes on and on.
13:06 And it builds this superficial idea in your mind
13:09 about what it is, what your values are to be
13:12 and so when you get into a relationship,
13:14 because you've filled your mind with these things,
13:17 you know, the romantic novels tell you,
13:20 the romantic movies tell you, the TV shows you're watching,
13:24 they're all telling you, how, how quick, you know,
13:26 into a relationship,
13:28 you need to get into all of these things,
13:30 then those are, that's what you're doing.
13:32 A normal TV show is what?
13:33 An hour.
13:35 In an hour, you've met the person,
13:36 you've had the say, you know, you've met a person,
13:40 you've introduced them to your parents,
13:41 you've gotten married, you have kids,
13:42 and you live in a house with a white...
13:44 You have kids and then you get married.
13:45 Yeah, you know, oh, yeah, you have...
13:47 Yeah, everything else,
13:49 so it kind of squeezes your perspective
13:51 to the point where,
13:52 when you actually get into a real life relationship,
13:55 you're expecting it to meet the standards
13:57 of your superficial relationship in your mind.
14:00 And those two don't go well together.
14:03 Okay, so, I really appreciate what you all have said.
14:06 Now going back to the idea of trying to wait,
14:09 trying to resist this desire, this urge,
14:12 whether it's for relationship, whether it's for,
14:15 just because I want to have sex.
14:18 Are there some other things that you shouldn't do or is it,
14:21 are we just talking about the intercourse, you guys?
14:22 I mean, are we just talking about, just having sex?
14:26 I mean, we're going there right now.
14:28 So what other things are included in this
14:30 "waiting period"?
14:32 I keep it real, I think kissing is a gateway drug.
14:35 I mean, it's a gateway for me.
14:38 You know what I mean?
14:39 Like, you know, you have to know what your,
14:42 or what things lead into an environment,
14:46 and so, you know,
14:48 for somebody holding hands might ignite that flame.
14:51 Start their engine.
14:52 For me, I can hold your hand and I'm like,
14:54 oh, this is sweet.
14:55 Once we started kissing, time to go, all right,
14:59 let's call it a night, thanks, have a good day,
15:02 'cause I already know, like for me,
15:04 that something that can lead to a situation,
15:08 that I don't want to get myself involved in, and so I think,
15:12 we have to understand that everything,
15:14 a part of intimacy is a lead in.
15:17 And sometimes what happens is, we get these lead ins and stop,
15:20 lead in and stop, lead in and stop.
15:23 And it creates these patterns
15:25 that are so negative physiologically,
15:27 and emotionally, and psychologically,
15:29 then we take those things into marriage.
15:31 So are those parts of awakening that love before it is time?
15:35 Yeah, don't kiss.
15:36 Okay, so, okay, so Miss Kim said, no kissing.
15:40 For me. For her.
15:43 What are some other things that you shouldn't do?
15:45 Now, we're not just talking about
15:47 with someone else.
15:48 We're also talking about by yourself.
15:51 You know, I would say anything,
15:53 anything that if you were doing,
15:55 because we know all this in the presence of God,
15:57 anything that you're doing, that if you knew Jesus,
16:00 if Jesus, 'cause Jesus is always there.
16:02 You know, if you knew,
16:04 if you saw Him physically there,
16:05 you would not feel comfortable doing in front of Him.
16:08 I would say, you need to shut that thing down,
16:11 because that in itself, the fact that you're,
16:13 'cause we've already talked about it,
16:16 God is one who invented sex.
16:18 He's the one who created it.
16:19 We are created for relationship.
16:20 And so if the person who gave me this gift
16:23 will not appreciate me using the gift in the way
16:26 that I'm using it,
16:27 then that in and of itself would convey to me the fact
16:31 that I'm not doing right by them, you know.
16:34 That's a good point.
16:35 And as you were saying, with self,
16:38 sounds like you were saying something about self,
16:40 that's even more ultimately,
16:42 even more of a situation as dangerous
16:44 because, if someone's saying that they're loving
16:48 and they're trying to have sex with a female,
16:50 or female with a guy,
16:52 or a person who is having, who is doing masturbation,
16:54 is having sex with themselves.
16:56 And it's very, it's a selfish situation,
16:58 it's something that God did not create.
17:00 If we can look at it, we have to look at the Bible
17:02 and the creation, that gives us a great example
17:04 of what God has intended.
17:06 And so for a guy or a girl to go to their separate closet
17:09 or whatever place they're at,
17:11 and to do whatever they're doing to self gratify,
17:15 it depletes what God is trying to do.
17:19 And so, and some people with their being by themselves,
17:23 it's very good to have a good someone,
17:25 a person who you can be accountable to.
17:28 And that's where it comes out be invulnerable,
17:31 spiritually intimate with someone.
17:33 Not saying, you know, you know, and that kind of manner
17:35 but, a way of saying to someone that I'm struggling,
17:38 I need you to pray for me.
17:40 So we can have each other's back.
17:41 Like the Bible says real quickly,
17:43 it says "Two, two are better
17:45 but a cord of three is not easily broken."
17:47 When we can get that,
17:48 two people have each other's back
17:49 and then God comes down,
17:51 then you can really be in a situation
17:52 where you're not being broken.
17:54 You know what?
17:55 I wanna take it a step further,
17:56 because there's still other stuff out there
17:58 we have not mentioned, you know,
17:59 we did try to define sex earlier,
18:02 and I think we had defined it as penetration, you know,
18:04 penis to vagina, well, the case is,
18:06 now I will say that if either sexual organ is involved,
18:11 it's a sexual experience,
18:12 'cause you're gonna have people who say, "Well, I'm waiting,
18:15 but I'm not having sex.
18:16 You know, I might perform oral sex.
18:18 Or, you know, there is other things out there as well."
18:20 You know what I'm saying?
18:21 And I think that if those organs are involved at all,
18:24 you know what I'm saying?
18:25 Then you should stay away from that as well.
18:28 And can I just speak back.
18:29 I kind of wanna take it back a little bit.
18:31 I don't, to the concept to be that,
18:32 I think that kissing is bad or kissing is wrong.
18:36 I think that the intention needs to be there.
18:39 What is the intention behind you kissing this person?
18:42 You know what I mean?
18:44 And, you know, we have nice little terms make out
18:45 and all those different things,
18:47 but what is the intention behind it?
18:49 What is it supposed to be leading up to?
18:51 What is it leading to?
18:52 And I think that's where we have to kind of
18:54 define things,
18:55 'cause I don't want to get the idea
18:57 that it's bad or it's wrong, which is part of the issue.
19:00 We put all these bad notties
19:01 or taboos on it,
19:03 it's just a matter of really discussing it
19:04 and understanding, how does that work for me?
19:07 How does that work for you?
19:08 And who am I accountable to?
19:10 And I think there's another thing too,
19:11 I mean, in relationships, we're not saying, you know,
19:14 we're trying to be purer, you know,
19:15 we're just kind of going with the flow,
19:17 seeing what happens
19:18 but it really should be upfront,
19:20 okay, we're both Christians,
19:21 how are we really gonna address this thing?
19:22 You know, and also we're just in kind of thinking with,
19:24 the title, this, "I'm going crazy waiting."
19:27 Let's talk about that issue of what are we waiting for?
19:30 You know, are we waiting for marriage?
19:33 Waiting just to be able to have sex?
19:34 I mean, what are we waiting for?
19:36 And is there really a guarantee you will get married?
19:40 When I was a child, I remember my great aunt,
19:43 she brought me a toy for Christmas,
19:45 and I was so excited to open that toy.
19:47 And she said, "No."
19:49 It was like August, and she brought me a toy.
19:51 And, you know, I'm like saying, I'm just frustrated.
19:54 Because I'm waiting for her, for Christmas to come.
19:57 And I know when I was young as a child,
19:59 days went by whole lot longer than the way they go by now.
20:02 So I was sitting there day by day,
20:05 counting down till Christmas came,
20:07 and then, four months or so came,
20:10 and I was finally able to open that gift.
20:12 I was finally relieved.
20:13 But the problem was with that, I was so focused on something,
20:16 instead of doing what I have to do,
20:18 in between that time,
20:19 they didn't said me, I caught up.
20:20 so, with one person
20:22 finding himself having to keep on worrying about waiting
20:26 and when it's gonna happen,
20:27 they are depleting them,
20:29 depriving themselves of the blessings
20:30 of what God wants to give for them at that moment.
20:33 And they're missing the greatness,
20:35 that God has a store for them at that moment.
20:38 And a good question is,
20:39 what are you occupying yourself with while you're waiting?
20:42 You know, am I so, 'cause it defeats the purpose.
20:45 If I am so caught up in this idea of,
20:51 I am just waiting to get to,
20:53 just waiting to get married so that I can have sex.
20:56 You know, it's like marriage is not,
20:59 you're not gonna have sex everyday, all day.
21:01 You're gonna have to go to work, at some point.
21:03 You know, you need a job.
21:05 You have to take, you have either responsibilities,
21:07 before we, besides that, and so the idea is,
21:11 what are you occupying yourself with right now?
21:13 Is that all that is occupying your mind?
21:16 And if it is, then there's a larger problem at hand.
21:20 And you're probably not ready to marry, even if you weren't.
21:24 You know. Yeah.
21:25 And that's what that girl was saying too in the letter,
21:26 she is saying, you know, is something wrong with her
21:28 because she's thinking about sex so much?
21:31 You know, so and that's something
21:32 we have to think about.
21:33 I mean, is there, every time we say, okay,
21:35 maybe your mind is overly sexual,
21:38 you know, is that even, is that able to have...
21:41 Be sad, I mean? I don't think so.
21:43 I mean, you know, people think about sex,
21:45 it's something like we said,
21:46 you're gonna think about it.
21:47 Kind of go back door, I think, I think one of our promise,
21:50 is how we define waiting?
21:52 You know, do you define waiting as standing on a long line
21:56 waiting to get into the movies?
21:58 Or, you know, waiting to get into your favorite restaurant?
22:01 Is that what you define waiting as?
22:03 Because when you do that,
22:04 you're just standing on the line.
22:05 Waiting to get to the door.
22:07 Or standing, or as waiting, you know,
22:08 the journey from point A to B
22:10 that might include passing and doing other stuff.
22:13 You know, an example would be,
22:15 you know, when Jacob works for Rachel,
22:17 you know, he's waiting up, I mean, 14 years he waited.
22:20 He waited. Yeah, that's love.
22:21 You know, but when he's waiting, he's working,
22:22 he's preoccupied, he's busy.
22:24 It's not like he's not thinking about what's gonna happen,
22:27 wedding night with, you know, with Rachel, one of the cases,
22:29 but he has so much other stuff on his mind.
22:32 You know, he's working, he's doing, I mean,
22:33 he's preoccupied.
22:35 You know, and what is your waiting?
22:36 Is it just sitting around, tooling your thumbs like,
22:39 "You know, God, when are you going to bring him to me?
22:41 When are you going to bring her to me?"
22:42 Or is it, you know, let me work,
22:43 but let me also remember
22:45 that the experiences I have from A to B,
22:47 God uses those experiences to shape me into the person
22:50 that that person that I'm gonna be ready for needs to meet.
22:54 I just wanna say,
22:55 he waited seven years and then he got, got married,
22:58 just in case somebody wanted to know on the show.
23:00 But anyway he had to work another seven years
23:01 but, that's a good point.
23:02 Seven, fourteen. Yeah.
23:04 But, you know, also, in this whole issue of waiting,
23:06 I'm gonna let you say
23:07 when Jeanne finishes this on time, about this waiting thing.
23:09 Go ahead, go ahead.
23:10 Yeah, I'm gonna say that
23:12 with Rachel, with Rachel and Jacob,
23:16 the situation was that, he was, you know,
23:20 to piggy back on what you're saying,
23:21 he was preparing for her, you know,
23:24 so the waiting period was not,
23:26 we have this notion of our waiting period
23:28 is a dead period.
23:30 It's a...
23:31 Punishment. It's a punishment.
23:32 It's a season of barrenness if you will.
23:35 But if I, if I do believe in God
23:39 and have a vibrant relationship with God,
23:41 then I have to know, and I understand
23:44 that God has promised that no good thing
23:47 will He withhold from me.
23:49 You know, and that when the time is right,
23:51 in the fullness of time, He will bring, you know,
23:54 that person into my life, into your life.
23:57 Then I have to know that
23:58 my waiting period is not a period,
24:00 is not a dead period.
24:02 It may, others may look at it as a dead period,
24:04 but my hope is not in them, it's in Christ.
24:07 And so He has a way of preparing me
24:10 in this waiting period.
24:12 I know for myself,
24:14 I thank God that I did not get married
24:17 before I was ready, you know,
24:20 because, I recognized that God is still preparing me.
24:25 You know, I would feel, I, in Rachel's place,
24:28 I would feel sorry for any man who I would be, you know,
24:32 married to,
24:33 because he would be getting God knows what.
24:36 You know, because I would not have experienced
24:39 my period of preparedness with God.
24:42 And that is the important part,
24:44 we tend to skip over that and try to get into things
24:48 that we have no business getting into.
24:50 Okay, so, and as you said it very well, you know,
24:53 you said about the fullness of time, thinking about God,
24:57 and the fact that He waits.
24:59 He waits, I mean, He waited to...
25:03 Like Jesus coming, He's even waiting now
25:05 for Christ to coming in.
25:06 He's always constantly waiting, and as Christians,
25:08 I think we have to put aside ourselves
25:10 and recognize that,
25:12 Christianity is a religion of waiting.
25:15 You're waiting on Him.
25:17 It's never, it's not always immediate,
25:20 we're in this, this is battle still.
25:22 We're still in the fight.
25:23 We're still waiting, you know,
25:25 and that has a lot to do with the fact,
25:26 if we don't realize,
25:27 it has a lot to do with the selfishness
25:29 that we still really have.
25:30 You know, I love the verse In Isaiah that says,
25:32 "They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength."
25:34 And we always envision it as they that wait, sit down,
25:37 relax, chill,
25:39 but there's another meaning for the word,
25:41 wait, like a waiter.
25:43 So I look at it, as they that wait on Lord,
25:45 serve the Lord,
25:47 they that are ministering to the Lord,
25:50 shall renew their strength.
25:51 So while you're serving the Lord,
25:54 God renews your strength,
25:55 He'll give you something to hold on to
25:57 and you develop this intimacy with God,
25:59 you start to find out your skills and,
26:01 you know, you have time to learn and figure out
26:04 the things in your character that need to be worked on,
26:06 to not waiting on the Lord, but waiting on the Lord.
26:11 And what you're saying is so true,
26:12 came about the issue of waiting on the Lord, you know,
26:15 and really serving Him, you know,
26:17 you have to spend that time with Him.
26:18 And I was thinking like, how can you expect to find
26:20 the one that God has for you
26:22 if you haven't spent the time to know Him?
26:24 You know, you have to really get to know Him.
26:26 I think if I can just be open with my experience, you know,
26:29 I didn't really take the time to know God.
26:31 And so, I was now meeting people
26:32 who I thought were for me
26:34 but, they weren't because, hey, I didn't even know who God was.
26:36 And it was until I took the time
26:38 to really get to know Jesus for myself
26:39 and really have a deep relationship with Him,
26:41 my eyes were opened and I realized, oh,
26:42 this is the one for me.
26:44 You know, the girl that I am dating now
26:45 is the one that God has for me
26:46 and I just recognized Jesus in her.
26:48 Well, you now believe God can make it happen,
26:50 'cause he is God, you know,
26:52 if you are supposed to be married,
26:53 you're gonna be married.
26:54 You know, but at the same time,
26:56 this is why we shouldn't tell people,
26:57 you know, see that you're married and you're burned.
26:58 You shouldn't have to choose between the two.
27:00 You know, and you might solve the immediate problem,
27:02 you might get married
27:04 and your sexual urges might die down,
27:06 you know, at least, you'll have that one person, you know,
27:08 that you can, you know, act out all your desires with,
27:10 but, I can guarantee you in the marriage context,
27:13 you might face other issues, you know, that will come above,
27:16 because you weren't ready to get married.
27:18 So like Kim says, "Serve God, you don't get your charger out,
27:21 put your bow tie on, get your napkin out,
27:23 and serve Him."
27:24 "And then allow Him to enter,
27:25 work out His plan in your life."
27:27 Amen.
27:28 And that's a good way to end it out.
27:30 And that's where we end our program with today,
27:31 and I just wanna end just by reading Psalms 37:34,
27:34 it says, "Wait on the Lord,
27:36 and keep His way, and He shall exalt you."
27:40 And so I just wanna encourage everyone who is watching,
27:42 just to wait on Christ.
27:44 He will exalt you in due time.
27:46 So that's our program for today,
27:48 I know you enjoyed it.
27:49 Until next time, remember to make pure choices.


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Revised 2017-05-01