Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Wayne Blakely
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000013
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00:30 Welcome to Pure Choices.
00:32 So glad that you have decided to join us today 00:34 for another episode. 00:36 Well, today, we're going to be dealing with a topic 00:39 that strikes at the core of all of us I believe. 00:42 But before we get into it, I want to just take a minute 00:44 and just introduce my co-hosts who are here with me today. 00:48 We have my friend Pastor Alfonzo Greene 00:51 who is here from the Huntsville Church, 00:53 Huntsville First Seventh-day Adventist Church. 00:55 We have Pastor Michael Polite 00:57 who comes to us from Nashville, Tennessee, the Riverside Chapel 01:01 Seventh-day Adventist Church. 01:02 My sister is back with us, 01:04 Miss Lola Moore 01:05 who serves as a pastor 01:07 at the Oakwood University Church. 01:09 And then my brother Michael B. Kelley, 01:10 all the way from Riverside, California, 01:12 who is from the Mt. Rubidoux Church. 01:14 And I am your host Pastor Seth Yelorda. 01:16 And we're all glad to be here. Am I correct in that? 01:19 Yeah, of course, man. 01:20 We're all glad to be here, 01:21 and we're glad to be discussing this topic. 01:23 Now specifically, 01:24 we want to deal with something a little bit different 01:25 than what we have been dealing with. 01:27 A lot of times, up to this point, 01:28 we've been dealing with sexuality, sex, 01:31 you know, dating, and things of that nature. 01:33 But today, we want to take it just a little different, 01:36 and we want to deal specifically with fashion. 01:39 We know that the fashion industry 01:41 in America is large 01:44 and that there are so many things 01:46 behind the fashion industry, so many agendas 01:50 that drive the fashion industry, 01:52 many of which we can't even begin 01:53 to tell the half of. 01:54 But from what we do know, let's just talk about it 01:57 as far as fashion and how fashion relates 01:59 to our sexuality and to our sexual expression. 02:03 Let's talk about it. 02:05 Well, the first thing, 02:06 I recently was reading a blog from a fashion expert, 02:11 and they were referring to a runway show 02:15 that had just taken place in New York City. 02:18 And what was so interesting is they were talking about 02:21 how wonderful the art was on the runway. 02:24 And I just had to step back and say, 02:26 "Oh, wait a second." 02:28 If they are looking at fashion as art, 02:32 then art is the expression of oneself. 02:36 Therefore, whatever fashion I'm putting on 02:39 is an expression of the designer. 02:42 It's their artistic expression of themselves. 02:46 So we now have to look at fashion 02:48 as I'm not putting on something to just express myself, 02:52 but I'm actually putting on something 02:54 that is expressing the designer's viewpoints, 02:58 his ideologies, his philosophies, 03:01 his or her sexual... 03:06 View. View or orientation. 03:09 So now fashion takes on a different role, 03:13 what am I expressing for someone else 03:17 is the major question. 03:18 Yeah, I think that makes a whole lot of sense 03:19 because, I mean, 03:21 this is kind of a new phenomenon right now 03:22 that I just can't really get down with... 03:24 Talk about it. 03:25 Which is the pencil jeans, man. 03:28 I mean, like... 03:30 It's the jeans that... 03:31 Skinny jeans. 03:32 Well, skinny jeans would just... 03:34 Yeah, they're like real, real tight. 03:35 It's the type of jeans a guy could like put on. 03:38 I mean, his girl would have just wore it 03:39 the day before and he'll pick it up 03:41 and then he'll put those on the next day. 03:43 I mean, there's a problem with that. 03:44 But it kind of piggybacks off of what he would say 03:47 as far as the ideology behind it, 03:49 which is the philosophy 03:51 that there's no distinction between the sexes. 03:53 So my girl, she can be wearing the same jeans 03:56 that I'm wearing the next day, and they're just as tight. 03:58 Yeah, but I mean, can we really say that? 04:00 Because I mean, 04:01 I'm sure some young people are saying, 04:03 "Jeans are jeans are jeans are jeans," right? 04:05 The pencil jeans? Right. 04:07 So a young lady might wear a T-shirt, 04:10 you know, and then the next day, 04:12 the young man might wear the exact same T-shirt, 04:13 does it mean that, okay, 04:15 whatever a woman wears a man cannot wear? 04:17 Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. 04:19 So it's like... Yeah, yeah. 04:20 I'm not trying to take it that far. 04:22 Let's not get that far. 04:23 I'm just saying though, man, this is so... 04:25 This is about tight jeans. 04:27 I'm speaking about those tight jeans. 04:29 That's fine. It's all good. 04:30 It's all good. 04:31 I'm not trying to take it that far, 04:33 let's stick to tight jeans. 04:34 But let's ask a question, let's ask a question. 04:36 Skinny jeans, I think, is an awesome place for us 04:39 to start analyzing sexuality in fashion. 04:42 Okay. 04:44 Who were skinny jeans designed for? 04:46 If you look at the history of how skinny jeans 04:48 came on the scene, 04:50 started over in Europe, made its way to the East Coast, 04:52 hop-skipped everybody and went to the West Coast. 04:54 Skinny jeans... 04:55 No, no, who were they designed for? 04:57 Everything was fitted. They were designed for women. 04:59 They were designed for women. 05:01 That's when they first came out on the scene. 05:03 So how did they all of a sudden make it 05:05 into the male mainstream of fashion? 05:08 But at the same time, originally, 05:10 only women wore pink, but now men wear pink. 05:15 Is there an issue with men wearing pink because pink... 05:17 Was pink designed for women? 05:19 No, that's a color designed by God. 05:21 You can't use the same. 05:23 But I think there's a principle... 05:24 But it is something that is so much more 05:25 associated with women. 05:27 And now men wearing pink is like... 05:28 My boy is like, 05:30 "Jeans are jeans, they're jeans." 05:32 No, no, no. I mean, the young person... 05:33 These are jeans, man. 05:34 But I'm thinking the person picking them up, 05:36 I mean, are they... 05:37 I mean, are they supposed to do the history 05:39 and the research to determine, okay, how were these created, 05:42 who were these created for? 05:43 Dude, if your jeans look like 05:45 they've been painted on your body, are you a man? 05:46 There's something wrong with that, man. 05:47 But does it make a difference 05:49 if the jeans are painted on your body, 05:50 they're so tight, and you're a man, 05:51 should a woman be wearing those same jeans, 05:53 where they're so tight 05:54 it looks like they're painted on your body? 05:55 Well, man... 05:57 No, the point is, the point is... 05:58 The point is I, as a male, 06:00 should not be shopping from the women's rack, 06:02 that's the point. 06:03 No, no, no, but they were taken from the women's rack 06:05 and put on the men's rack. 06:07 I have to go back because I don't think 06:08 it's only they were made for that... 06:09 You know, especially if you go back to the Europe, 06:11 saying the jeans were made, 06:13 you know, for the women 06:14 because European fashion had a different style. 06:17 Their clothes would be fitted for even males, 06:21 they were made to work for males 06:22 because what we do back over here in North America 06:25 is you never cross colors, we didn't want anything to fit. 06:28 Baggy. You know what I'm saying? 06:29 If it fit, there was something wrong with it. 06:31 So whether it was for men or women, 06:33 Karl Kani, y'all remember that? 06:36 The more baggy it was, the better it was. 06:39 But Europe had a different type of feel. 06:41 It was like, you know, 06:42 we don't want it to be all over, 06:44 we want us to look fitted, clean cut. 06:46 I think what y'all are talking about is an extreme. 06:48 But you have to... I guess you're talking about... 06:50 I'm sorry. 06:51 You have to be in a place of where you discern 06:54 and utilize wisdom 06:56 and understand that even in Europe, 06:58 there's a lot of homosexuality in the fashion industry 07:01 and a lot of people who are designing 07:04 are designing with an agenda. 07:06 We may not have an agenda when we put the clothes on, 07:09 we may say, "Well, I just like the clean fit," 07:11 you know, a lot of guys. 07:13 And therefore some people look really good in the clean fit, 07:17 you know, than other guys 07:18 but understand that the designer has an agenda 07:23 when they're designing those jeans. 07:26 So you're saying that the designer 07:27 is trying to feminize men? 07:29 Well, absolutely because you remember 07:31 there was a unisex movement some time ago, 07:34 a unisex movement where women and men 07:37 were wearing the same haircuts, 07:39 women and men were wearing the same kind of cuts of jeans, 07:42 you know, women are starting to wear... 07:44 well, were starting to wear boxers 07:45 and things like that. 07:47 So what was happening is they were blurring 07:49 the distinction between genders. 07:51 And once you start blurring 07:52 the distinction between genders, 07:54 then sexuality starts to make some blurring of distinctions 07:57 as well, it starts in one way... 08:00 You're obviously going... I don't know. 08:02 Very much so. 08:03 Come on! Come on! 08:05 No, I just think we have to be... 08:06 You mean to tell me you can't see 08:07 that there's a feminizing of men in the society 08:09 and culture in general? 08:10 And then there's a massive... 08:11 The whole metrosexual movement? No, no. 08:13 Come on! That's fashion. 08:15 No, but there's the thing. 08:16 I don't think what we can say is... 08:18 I don't think we can say 08:19 because I like my clothes not to hang off my body... 08:22 No, that's not what we're saying, right? 08:23 No, because remember, there is something about... 08:27 I know what y'all are talking about. 08:29 Where you can barely walk in your jeans. 08:30 No, we're talking about 08:32 when I can count the change in your pocket 08:34 when you walk down the street, those jeans are too tight, man. 08:38 But, you know, I agree with that, 08:39 but there are other types of jeans 08:41 that are very fitted, that are not hanging off me, 08:45 there are shirts that do the same thing, 08:46 I don't know 08:48 if that's necessarily feminizing. 08:50 And that's why I just want to be careful with that. 08:51 But you're saying feminizing from your point of view 08:56 as a consumer, 08:57 but I'm talking about the manufacturer, 08:59 I'm talking about the person who's designing the jeans. 09:01 You may not have that agenda 09:03 as you're picking it off of the rack, 09:05 but the person who's designing the jeans, 09:07 the person who's designing a lot of the clothes... 09:09 And I mean, even if we move off of the jeans 09:11 onto some of the things that women are wearing, 09:14 the designer has an agenda as they are doing that. 09:18 There's a message that they believe is true, 09:20 and they're expressing that message as, 09:22 I think Mike brought out earlier, 09:24 through the way 09:25 that they're designing their fashion. 09:28 And we have to ensure 09:30 that we're not buying into that. 09:31 I guess I just don't think that. 09:32 'Cause I agree with that. 09:34 I think there's absolutely a message 09:35 in different things, all that. 09:36 I just don't think 09:38 there are some jeans and different things like 09:39 that that have that goal in mind. 09:41 But I don't think we should say just because they fit... 09:44 And they're tight. 09:45 And they're certain type of tight means 09:47 that that's what it is. 09:48 The question then becomes how tight is too tight. 09:50 There you go. 09:51 I mean, you got to give me some parameters like, 09:53 okay, you know? 09:54 So now it's the semantics game? Yes, yes, yes. 09:56 So if you can see the change in my pockets, 09:58 they're too tight, 09:59 but then it's like, okay, well, how baggy is too baggy? 10:01 Come on, man. Come on! 10:02 You were talking about it, man. 10:04 You're just seeing some change in some dude's pocket, man. 10:08 But it's fitted. 10:09 Some people think anything that fits, 10:10 that's not hanging off you... 10:12 But I think, here's a bad question... 10:13 No, we got a difference, man. 10:15 We got dudes walking around looking like Peter Pan, okay? 10:18 That is unacceptable, man. That's different though. 10:20 That is truly a blurring of the line between genders. 10:23 Yeah. Let's bring it back. 10:24 But that's not the point though. 10:26 We'll just bring it back to Pure Choices now. 10:27 Bring it all back there, bring it all back. 10:30 How is that one's dress, 10:32 and let's say, their preference of fashion, 10:35 because not everyone 10:37 has the same preference of fashion, 10:38 so their preference of fashion 10:39 has anything to do with their goal 10:42 or pursuit for purity. 10:44 Let me say this 10:45 'cause I think it's a good piggyback 10:46 on what you both just said that, 10:48 you know, the Peter Pan jeans, 10:50 let's say, and blurring the gender, 10:51 see that implies 10:53 that a woman should be able to wear jeans 10:56 that are that tight 10:58 that it's acceptable for women to show off certain things, 11:02 but if a guy does it, it blurs it. 11:04 So I think the better question would be what is it 11:07 that that would be saying? 11:09 It is accentuating different parts of the body, 11:11 maybe that's the kind of message, 11:13 not only just blurring the genders 11:14 but I want you to become a little more honed 11:16 in certain things. 11:18 And I think with the skinny jeans, 11:19 I mean, we might need to talk about that too 11:21 because with these guys, 11:22 with these fitted jeans and fitted pants, 11:25 there's some accentuation of their parts as well 11:28 that we don't talk about that. 11:29 You know, I had to love... 11:31 There's some accentuation going on there as well. 11:35 And I think that's why 11:36 we have to be mindful of who is designing. 11:39 You know, there were some studies done 11:42 on young girls, 11:43 and we're talking about Pure Choices, 11:46 so I'm going to just take it there, 11:48 and the material that was used in their underwear. 11:51 And it was shown that young girls 11:53 when they were using the cotton underwear 11:56 that they were less prone to sexuality, things like that. 11:59 But then it was the satins and things like that, 12:01 the more soft, 12:02 you know, more sexual types that was moving... 12:05 And these are young girls. 12:06 So grandma underwear versus like... 12:09 you know. Yeah. 12:10 And I mean... Lady Gaga underwear... 12:12 And I'm taking it there 12:13 because the way that we wear our clothes, 12:17 the way that the clothes interact 12:19 with our bodies, 12:20 there are certain phenomenon that go on in us. 12:23 Yeah, there is definitely a trend, 12:25 and I've seen in media 12:26 that they are trying to sexualize 12:30 young girls' clothing. 12:31 You know, and they're always talking about it, 12:33 especially certain talks shows are always talking about 12:36 why are young girls being sexualized 12:39 and wearing certain clothes means 12:40 so certain clothes and what does that... 12:44 What they're saying is it begins 12:45 the process of their sexual, 12:47 emotional development sooner than necessary. 12:50 Absolutely. 12:51 But again, I want to bring the question back 12:53 to how does one's selection 12:56 or choice for fashion reflect their desire 13:00 or their aspiration for purity. 13:02 There's a joke that says 13:04 what's the difference between a bikini and barbed wire, okay? 13:09 The punch line is both protect 13:11 the property without obstructing the view. 13:15 Wow. 13:17 How it ties in is what we're doing is we are... 13:21 You're stopping... 13:22 Wow! 13:24 What it's doing is we are taking away 13:26 the obstruction of view as things get more fitted. 13:31 And I mean, we're kind of dancing around it, 13:33 but let's be honest, 13:34 if there is a homosexual male 13:38 designing clothes for another male, 13:41 he's going to design clothes 13:42 that he wants to see that other male in. 13:45 Absolutely. Okay? 13:46 If a woman is buying 13:49 some clothes off the rack to gain attention, 13:52 okay, what's going to gain attention? 13:54 Well, the less obstructed view 13:56 is going to gain the most attention. 13:59 It pours into purity 14:00 because as the view becomes less obstructed, 14:04 then I have more access with my imagination 14:07 and that fuels my desires. 14:08 So, I mean, if you're going there, 14:10 then what should a young person do? 14:12 Because, I mean, sure, 14:13 you're saying that they should research 14:15 who made their clothes. 14:16 No, no. 14:17 I mean, my question 14:19 is what should a young person do 14:20 when it comes to choosing clothes 14:22 in their pursuit of purity. 14:23 Well, here's the thing, I think Mike is saying 14:26 that we're all touching around something, 14:29 our clothes are going to give a certain message, 14:31 and we got to ask ourselves I might not know 14:33 what the designer had in mind and all that, 14:35 but even if the designer had a certain thing in mind, 14:37 the way I package it and put it together does, 14:40 at the end of the day, send another type of message. 14:44 And so I think by the types of things 14:45 that we decide to wear, 14:47 we're saying I'm sending this message. 14:49 If I come outside the house 14:51 and my clothes are not ironed and all that different... 14:54 I'm sending a message. 14:55 I come outside the house and I'm showing off 14:57 as many different things as possible, 14:59 I'm sending a message. 15:00 And we have to say, 15:02 "Is what I'm wearing sending a pure message?" 15:04 And I think what's key with that 15:06 because the attitude of a young person is that, 15:08 "Well, people shouldn't be judging me." 15:10 But the reality is that human nature naturally, 15:13 whoever you are, 15:15 you make judgments and assess people 15:18 by what you see. 15:19 Right away. Two seconds. 15:20 So that's why when you're going to a job interview, 15:22 you look a certain way, 15:23 people are making a snap judgment about you. 15:25 You know, you even do this with your friends. 15:26 You go to school, you look and you see a certain person, 15:29 you make a snap, 15:30 instant judgment on how they appear. 15:33 And so if we want people to assess 15:35 and judge us in the right way, 15:36 we have to mindful as far as what messages 15:37 we're sending in our clothes. 15:39 And I want to jump in and touch back on another point 15:43 that the way that we dress also sends 15:46 some messages to ourselves. 15:48 You think about 15:49 when you get dressed up for charge, 15:51 you're wearing that clean suit, 15:52 you guys have the tie, the little pocket piece, 15:54 you're clean, you know you're clean. 15:57 The way you carry yourself is reflected 15:59 by the way you're dressed. 16:00 You're sending yourself a message. 16:02 Now if you're walking around as a young woman, 16:04 you know, your clothes are hanging off of you, 16:07 you know, there's a way 16:08 that you're going to carry yourself 16:10 in that way too, 16:12 you're sending some messages to your mind and your body 16:15 as to how you should carry yourself 16:17 and how much access another person 16:19 should have to you by the way that you dress. 16:23 And when you see a woman, 16:25 you know, who's modestly dressed 16:26 but is clean, the way... 16:28 I mean, she's walking tall, she's looking you in the eye, 16:31 she's carrying herself well, 16:32 but another woman who's not dressed as well, 16:35 you know, she might be more sexually active or... 16:39 Sensual under-dressing. More sensual, that's the word. 16:41 Sensual in the way that she comes off, 16:43 so the way that we dress also may be a precursor 16:46 to impure choices. 16:48 Can I ask something because... 16:51 And let's bring it, you know, to church a little bit, 16:53 and one of my boys had this issue like, "Yo! 16:58 If we are blessed..." 17:00 Let's just say. 17:01 You know, we want to look good 'cause I don't care. 17:03 When you say blessed... 17:04 I'm saying different people are blessed 17:05 with different things. 17:07 Let me say what are you talking about. 17:09 Nice smile. Yeah, whatever it is. 17:12 Whatever it might mean. 17:13 So my thing is, let's be real, 17:15 the first thing we see is not personality, 17:17 the first thing we see is not character, 17:20 unfortunately, we're attracted to somebody. 17:22 So some of the arguments 17:23 with some of the people in church is, 17:25 you know, "I want to, without being crude, 17:28 do the best I can to accentuate what I've been blessed with." 17:31 How do you handle that? 17:32 Is there a balance between that? 17:34 What's over there? 17:35 I personally feel like there's four types of dress 17:38 that anyone can wear, 17:39 and this might somewhat answer your question. 17:41 There's four styles that we can choose from. 17:42 The first is to just be covered, 17:45 like turtleneck, you know, ankle skirt, 17:47 like you're covered from head to toe. 17:49 You've got the Indian garb on, you know, your eyes, 17:52 all they can see is your eyes. 17:53 You're covered, they can see nothing. 17:55 You know, we might say that's an extreme, you know. 17:57 And then the next level is 17:59 to wear something that highlights. 18:01 And so you can wear a suit, a certain shirt that highlights 18:05 certain aspects, either your skin tone, 18:07 that color looks good on your skin, or to highlight, 18:09 you know, they have certain fitted shirts 18:11 that guys wear 18:12 where your chest is not sticking out 18:13 but it just highlights your figure, 18:16 not in a sensual way though. 18:17 Then there's clothes that accentuate. 18:20 And so I can wear something 18:21 that will draw attention to a certain part of my body. 18:24 I'm accentuating a certain part. 18:26 And then there's clothes that just flat out reveal. 18:29 You know, it's not accentuating, 18:30 it's just revealing. 18:32 Like you don't even got to use your imagination, 18:33 I can just see everything God has blessed you with. 18:36 You know, so when you look at those four, 18:38 you know, categories from covering, 18:41 highlighting, accentuating, and revealing, 18:44 where do you feel like the Christian 18:46 who is striving for pure choices 18:48 should fall in their dress, 18:51 their wardrobe selection? 18:53 Wow. That's good. 18:54 That's a really good... 18:55 Yeah, I mean... 19:01 Do you think the setting 19:02 has something to do with that though? 19:04 Like what? 19:05 Like is there a place to accentuate... 19:06 Maybe you don't accentuate in church. 19:08 What I'm asking is... 19:10 Is modesty dependent upon your setting? 19:13 I mean, what... 19:15 I would say highlight. 19:17 I think the Christians should strive 19:19 for highlighting, okay? 19:21 And based on the definition... That was number two, right? 19:23 Yeah, based on your definition 19:25 you're using the different color schemes, 19:28 you are bringing attention to maybe your physique, 19:32 you may be tall, 19:34 so certain things may be best to highlight your length, 19:37 maybe you're a little tubby, 19:38 so certain things will take a little bit of pounds off, 19:41 you know. So I think highlighting... 19:42 But you're not drawing attention 19:44 to a specific body part. 19:45 You're not accentuating 19:46 your chest or your legs or your backside. 19:49 And I wanted to say though that, 19:51 I mean, for the Christian 19:52 that's trying to represent Christ 19:53 and understanding as we've talked about earlier, 19:55 the nature of just, 19:58 you know, lust and trying to be pure in our thinking, 20:01 wouldn't we want to portray something 20:03 that would not lead someone to think lustful thoughts. 20:06 And I know the argument could be, well... 20:07 Well, they shouldn't be thinking them anyway. 20:09 Right, I was going to say... 20:10 Or anyone can't think lustful thoughts 20:12 and you could be... 20:13 You can be covered, 20:15 they'll still get lustful thoughts. 20:16 Shouldn't our attitude be 20:17 to try to do our best though in that regard? 20:19 And that would be not revealing those parts that are sexual... 20:21 So what should be the thought process? 20:24 And I'll ask Pastor Moore as a woman, 20:26 and then we can answer as a man. 20:28 What should be the thought process 20:29 for a woman 20:31 when she gets up in the morning and she's getting dressed 20:32 and she's going through her wardrobe? 20:33 You know, I was listening to what Kelley 20:36 was saying earlier as he talked about, 20:38 you know, a person wanting to be attractive. 20:41 And my thought goes to fancy restaurants. 20:44 You know, well, you all have been there, 20:46 you've taken your wives to fancy restaurants 20:48 and you pay these high exorbitant prices for a meal. 20:51 But as you look at the meal, 20:52 you're really not paying for the food 20:54 because they don't really 20:56 put a whole lot of food on your plates. 20:58 What you're paying for is the presentation. 21:01 The way that they arrange the carrots 21:03 and arrange the parsley and everything like that. 21:06 You're paying for the presentation. 21:08 And I think that same thing ought to be 21:10 when we go in our closets, we're looking, 21:12 we're presenting ourselves well but not overdoing it. 21:15 You know what I mean? 21:16 A restaurant could say, 21:17 "Well, we got carrots 21:19 and I want to show off my carrots, 21:20 so we've just got a plate full of carrots." 21:21 You're not paying $95 for that, you know? 21:24 In the same way, when we go in our closets, 21:26 we're finding things that accentuate our beauty 21:28 but that don't overdo it. 21:30 You know what I mean? That don't show off things. 21:34 I heard someone say 21:35 very, very well a couple of weeks ago 21:38 that you should not advertise something 21:40 that you're not willing to sell. 21:43 And if you're working on advertising certain things, 21:46 then, you know, are you willing to sell it? 21:48 If that's not what you're trying to do, 21:49 if you're not out there trying to sell stuff, 21:51 then you shouldn't be advertising. 21:52 So as a woman, 21:53 when, a young woman, a young adult, 21:55 you go into your closet and you should be thinking 21:58 when I put this dress on, when I put this suit on, 22:00 when I put these jeans on, the thought process, 22:02 my thought process should be, you know... 22:05 And I mean without going there, 22:08 I mean, I personally when I go into my closet, 22:13 I want to present the whole of Lola Moore well. 22:17 I'm not wanting someone 22:18 to look at me and to think of sex. 22:20 You know, if I want to be sexy, 22:21 then I'm wanting someone to look at me 22:23 and think about sex. 22:24 I'm not wanting a person 22:26 to just want to have sex with me. 22:27 I want them to want to have a conversation with me, 22:29 so we want to go to the store with, 22:30 to want to go to the park with me, 22:32 to have a whole, 22:33 you know, gamut of experience with me. 22:35 What presents the whole of Lola Moore well, 22:39 the whole of me well? 22:40 Not just one part. 22:42 You know, not just my behind or, you know, the whole of me. 22:46 And as I go into my closet, 22:47 I want to present all of me well. 22:50 I was going to say something from a male perspective. 22:51 From a male perspective, what do you think? 22:52 Well, I just want to say that just for the women, 22:55 the young women out there, whoever is watching, 22:57 they see and understand 22:58 that men don't necessarily have to see it all 23:02 to find you sexually attractive. 23:05 There are ways that you can carry yourself 23:08 in a sophisticated way, like highlighting, 23:10 doing whatever that men will find very attractive 23:14 and actually will raise their level 23:16 because they realize that the way 23:18 you carry yourself, you've just got to come... 23:20 you've got to come at you a certain way. 23:21 And you kind of can tell the difference. 23:23 And, ladies, I just got to be real with you. 23:25 I mean, if you're not trying to present this message, 23:28 a guy will look at you and kind of go, 23:30 "I really don't have to do that much, 23:32 you know, to really try to do anything." 23:34 They can just look at you and kind of tell that. 23:35 And then there's other sisters, 23:37 they way they carry themselves and the way that they look, 23:39 you're kind of like, "Hmm, I got to kind of raise my level 23:42 if I'm going to be able to approach her." 23:43 So... 23:44 So what do you think the thought process 23:46 should be for a man, 23:47 a young guy when he goes into his closet, 23:49 he's putting on his, he's putting on his jeans, 23:50 you know, he's throwing on his tams, 23:52 whatever he's putting on, 23:53 what should be going through his mind? 23:54 You know, and I hate to say that it is a double standard 23:58 and it has to be for this reason 23:59 because we can't keep using the argument 24:01 that men are more visual than women 24:04 and then be overly concerned, well, what's she going to see 24:08 because we've always been trained and taught 24:10 that they're not really 24:11 completely concerned about that. 24:13 However, I think 24:14 the same principle should apply. 24:15 However, at the same time, 24:17 you know, what we wear might not have as great 24:20 as an effect, 24:21 but we should still keep that mindful 24:22 because every woman is different. 24:24 There are some women who are extremely visual, 24:25 hence the reason, 24:27 you know, the models 24:28 and, you know, all those stuff are built a certain way. 24:31 You know, it's not necessarily for me, 24:33 you know, it's because I get the idea 24:35 if I wear that underwear, 24:37 you know, some people think 24:38 their muscles will get that way. 24:40 And if my muscles get that way, then maybe this, 24:41 you know, female will be... 24:43 I've just never seen an out-of-shape dude 24:44 on the underwear ad, I've never seen it. 24:46 Do you feel like 24:48 that's really like dudes' problem though, 24:49 like brothers' problem though? 24:52 Like really always wearing muscular stuff? 24:54 Is that really the main problem that we see with young brothers 24:57 as far as it relates to presentation? 24:58 It's ego. 25:00 That's the major problem. I think it's that. 25:02 Yeah, I definitely think it's ego and wanting to 25:05 because we unfortunately as brothers 25:07 I think have attached a lot of our 25:09 who we are to what kind of shoes 25:11 we have on, to what kind of gear we have. 25:14 And that's why, 25:15 you know, if you notice, a lot of, 25:17 I think sometimes the African-American, 25:18 it really accentuates 25:19 who is wearing Rocawear, this brand, 25:22 being this, this is what I have because we connected it to... 25:23 or whatever. 25:24 Exactly. 25:26 You know, I will say this, and there's a Bible text that, 25:27 you know, really sums up in my mind, 25:29 you know, whatever you do, eat, or you drink, 25:31 do all to the glory of God. 25:33 And I that when you go into your closet, 25:34 whether you're male of female 25:35 that that needs to be at the forefront of your mind 25:37 as an individual you think you're an adult 25:38 who are striving to glorify God and to live a pure life, 25:42 I don't want to put on anything 25:43 that's going to be a stumbling block, 25:45 that when people see me, 25:46 they are just so fixated on my figure, 25:49 my shape, my muscles, my cut, whatever, 25:51 that they can't hear a word I'm saying to them, 25:54 like I'm talking to them 25:55 but all they can do is just like 25:57 they're just looking at me. 25:58 So I want my life, you know, to be, yes, 26:02 I want to dress well 26:03 and I want to carry myself well, 26:05 I want to be clean and clean cut 26:06 because I want to let people know, listen, 26:08 I'm representing God, you know. 26:10 But at the same time, 26:11 I don't want, you know, to be... 26:15 I don't want to get to the point 26:17 where when people see me, 26:18 they get blinded by me and they can no longer see God. 26:21 Yo, I receive it. 26:22 And what's at the core of the point 26:25 you just made is 26:27 the purity issue is really about feeling responsible 26:30 for someone else's wellbeing. 26:31 That's true. 26:33 That's what purity is really about. 26:34 I'm not going to have sex with you before marriage 26:38 because I care not only about myself 26:40 and my wellbeing but about your wellbeing. 26:42 That's when we truly start touching the purity. 26:45 We got to take the same thing into fashion, 26:47 whether male or female, 26:49 we have to start feeling 26:50 as if I have a responsibility to your wellbeing 26:53 and therefore I'm going to carry myself, dress myself, 26:57 show myself in a specific way. 26:59 So I'm not just living unto myself. 27:00 No. No. 27:02 And, you know, Jim Rome, 27:03 you know, he does sports on radio, 27:05 and, you know, you see the football players 27:06 and how they wear those things around their... 27:08 and they like to have their outfits right? 27:09 He says there's a mentality they have, look good, 27:13 feel good, play good. 27:14 And I think we got to be... 27:16 You know, if you dress a certain way 27:18 to an interview, you feel good about yourself, 27:19 sometimes you're interviewed better. 27:21 I think the flipside is with purity too. 27:23 If I'm not necessarily dressing pure, 27:25 then my mentality is... 27:26 Might not be pure. 27:28 Might not be pure either, 27:29 which will lead to impure actions. 27:31 I'm rolling in her straight up as sexy 27:33 or as revealing as can be... 27:34 Pants sagging, whatever. 27:36 My mentality is going right there. 27:37 Your mindset... In all different ways. 27:39 You know, this is a good conversation, 27:41 and I'm glad we had it. 27:42 I pray that for our viewers 27:43 that you took something away from it, 27:45 that you learned 27:46 that we want you to make pure choices 27:47 even in the clothes that you wear. 27:49 Can't judge a book by its cover, 27:51 we know, but, man, 27:52 the package does reveal 27:53 so much about what's going on in the conscience of the heart. 27:55 And so we just admonish you to make pure choices 27:58 when it comes to your dress. 28:00 Hopefully, we'll see you next week. 28:01 Be blessed. 28:02 Tell someone else about this program, 28:04 bring them along 28:05 so they can watch and be blessed just the same. 28:07 Follow us on Facebook, Pure Choices. 28:08 We'd love to talk to you, have more conversations. 28:10 Hopefully, we'll see you next week. 28:11 See you then. Bye-bye. |
Revised 2018-02-14