Participants:
Series Code: NP
Program Code: NP210522S
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00:12 Good morning, church, local or distant.
00:17 We're really glad you're joining us 00:19 for second church today here at Pioneer. 00:23 By the way, did you ever notice 00:24 the inscription over the front entrances, 00:28 a house and prayer for all people. 00:31 That means everyone can come here to pray. 00:35 But there's something else. 00:36 We come here to pray for all peoples, right? 00:42 Let us invite His presence. 00:45 Father, thank You for Your incredible love 00:48 for the human family and each of us as a member, 00:53 and that You are inviting us 00:54 to be members of Your spiritual family. 00:58 So as we are together, we pray that 01:01 Your Spirit would inspire us with true worship today. 01:06 Take us as we are and make us 01:08 what You want us to be and we thank You 01:12 for Your incredible love in Jesus' name. 01:15 Amen. 01:16 Blessings on everyone. 01:51 How deep the Father's love for us 01:57 How vast beyond all measure 02:02 That He should give His only Son 02:07 To make a wretch His treasure 02:13 How great the pain of searing loss 02:18 The Father turns His face away 02:23 As wounds which mar the Chosen One 02:28 Bring many sons to glory 02:37 Behold the Man upon a cross 02:42 My sin upon His shoulders 02:47 Ashamed I hear my mocking voice 02:52 Call out among the scoffers 02:58 It was my sin that held Him there 03:03 Until it was accomplished 03:08 His dying breath has brought me life 03:13 I know that it is finished. 03:22 I will not boast in anything, 03:27 No gifts, no pow'r, no wisdom 03:32 But I will boast in Jesus Christ 03:37 His death and resurrection 03:42 Why should I gain from His reward? 03:47 I cannot give an answer 03:52 But this I know with all my heart 03:57 His wounds have paid my ransom 04:03 Why should I gain from His reward? 04:07 I cannot give an answer 04:12 But this I know with all my heart 04:18 His wounds have paid my ransom 04:40 I was sinking deep in sin 04:44 Far from the peaceful shore 04:48 Very deeply stained within 04:52 Sinking to rise no more 04:57 But the Master of the sea 05:01 Heard my despairing cry 05:05 From the waters lifted me 05:09 Now safe am I 05:13 Love lifted me 05:17 Love lifted me 05:21 When nothing else could help 05:25 Love lifted me 05:29 Love lifted me 05:33 Love lifted me 05:37 When nothing else could help 05:41 Love lifted me 05:48 All my heart to Him I give 05:52 Ever to Him I'll cling 05:56 In His blessed presence live 06:00 Ever His praises sing 06:04 Love so mighty and so true 06:08 Merits my soul's best songs 06:12 Faithful loving service too 06:15 To Him belongs 06:20 Love lifted me 06:24 Love lifted me 06:28 When nothing else could help 06:32 Love lifted me 06:35 Love lifted me 06:39 Love lifted me 06:44 When nothing else could help 06:48 Love lifted me 06:55 I was a mess lost in my sin 06:59 Your love has lifted me from the pit 07:02 Thank You God Your love has lifted me 07:10 Not by my strength 07:13 But by your grace Sin's not my master anymore 07:18 Hallelujah! 07:20 Your love has lifted me 07:25 Souls in danger look above 07:29 Jesus completely saves 07:33 He will lift you by His love 07:37 Out of the angry waves 07:42 He's the Master of the sea 07:45 Billows His will obey 07:49 He your Savior wants to be 07:53 Be saved today 07:57 Love lifted me 08:01 Love lifted me 08:05 When nothing else could help 08:09 Love lifted me 08:13 Love lifted me 08:17 Love lifted me 08:21 When I thought my sin was too much 08:25 When I say I'm not good enough 08:29 When I think it won't be restored 08:33 Jesus will lift Me 08:45 When nothing else could help 08:49 Love lifted me 09:07 Our scripture reading for today 09:09 comes from Ephesians 5:31-33. 09:14 And it says, "For this reason a man 09:18 will leave his father and mother 09:20 and be united to his wife, 09:22 and the two will become one flesh. 09:25 This is a profound mystery, 09:27 but I'm talking about Christ and to the church. 09:31 However each one of you also must love your wife 09:35 as he loves himself, 09:36 and the wife must respect her husband." 10:05 Oh to see the dawn 10:10 Of the darkest day 10:14 Christ on the road to 10:19 Calvary 10:24 Tried by sinful men 10:28 Torn and beaten then 10:33 Nailed to a cross of 10:38 Wood 10:42 This the pow'r 10:46 Of the cross 10:51 Christ 10:56 became sin for us 11:00 Took the blame 11:05 Bore the wrath 11:08 We stand forgiven 11:11 At the cross 11:18 Oh to see the pain 11:23 Written on Your face 11:27 Bearing the awesome 11:32 weight of sin 11:37 Ev'ry bitter thought 11:41 Ev'ry evil deed 11:46 Crowning Your blood 11:50 Stained brow 11:56 Now the daylight flees 12:00 Now the ground beneath 12:05 Quakes as its Maker 12:10 Bows His head 12:14 Curtain torn in two 12:19 Dead are raised to life 12:23 Finished the vict'ry cry 12:31 This the pow'r 12:36 Of the cross 12:41 Christ became 12:45 Sin for us 12:50 Took the blame 12:54 Bore the wrath 12:57 We stand forgiven 13:01 We stand forgiven 13:06 We stand forgiven 13:10 We stand 13:15 We stand forgiven 13:19 We stand forgiven 13:24 We stand forgiven 13:28 We stand 13:39 Oh to see my name 13:44 Written in the wounds 13:48 For through Your suffering 13:53 I am free 13:57 Death is crushed to death 14:02 Life is mine to live 14:07 Won through 14:09 Your selfless love 14:15 This the pow'r 14:19 Of the cross 14:24 Son of God 14:28 Slain for us 14:32 What a love 14:37 What a cost 14:39 We stand forgiven at the cross 18:51 Let's pray. 18:53 Oh, God, we've come to the cross. 18:57 Our praise team has led us here. 19:01 It is at the foot of Calvary, we're ready. 19:05 What is it you have to say, 19:07 Oh, God, hide my voice and all the other noises 19:11 and have full access to every thinking mind 19:15 and worshiping heart. 19:16 We pray together in the name of Jesus. 19:19 Amen. 19:22 So here's a question for you. 19:24 How long should a marriage last? 19:29 What I mean is when you turn a marriage 19:30 upside down and you see best buy before, 19:33 what's the date on it? 19:36 What kind of shelf life does a marriage have? 19:39 I'm going to share with you two stories. 19:41 And then I'm going to ask you to answer the question. 19:44 How long should a marriage last? 19:47 Story number one. 19:49 Boy, here's a love story for you. 19:50 It started when she was 13 and he was 18. 19:53 But it lasted until the age of 99. 19:57 Wow. He died just a few weeks ago. 20:00 Who you're talking about? 20:01 Let me put them on the screen for you. 20:03 Come on. 20:04 You know who this is. 20:05 This is Queen Elizabeth II, 20:08 the monarch of the British Empire, 20:11 so to speak. 20:12 And this is her knight in shining armor, her prince, 20:16 Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. 20:20 Royal watchers say that they weren't real comfortable 20:24 with the public role they had, 20:25 they were private about displays of affection. 20:27 But the same royal watchers tell us that 20:30 they were very happy in their marriage. 20:34 In fact, their marriage, get this, lasted 73 years, 20:39 the longest marriage in the history 20:42 of the British monarchy, 73 years. 20:46 And when Prince Philip died a few weeks ago, 20:49 the Queen, Queen Elizabeth 20:51 on the royal family's Instagram page 20:53 released this statement. 20:57 Speaking of her prince, her life companion. 21:01 "He has, quite simply, 21:03 been my strength and stay all these years, 21:08 and I and his whole family 21:11 and this and many other countries, 21:13 owe him a debt greater than 21:14 he would ever claim, or we shall ever know." 21:20 That is profound and beautiful. 21:24 And they lived happily ever after, 21:25 stories written in England 21:27 end with that line, don't they? 21:30 We come to think of it. 21:32 That love stories, 21:33 a story of every marriage on this planet 21:35 because if you're the child of the king 21:36 and if you marry someone, 21:38 the princess is marrying a prince 21:40 if you're the child of a king, of course. 21:45 And they lived happily ever after 21:46 until death do us part. 21:50 Wow. 21:52 That story number one, here comes story number two. 21:56 I found this note tucked under my windshield wiper. 21:59 The services are over, 22:00 I'm going out to my car to go home for dinner 22:02 on a Sabbath afternoon. 22:04 And here's the note. 22:06 Thank you for your sermon 22:08 on how to choose the right partner in marriage. 22:11 My husband and I will be in divorce court on Monday. 22:15 I had an affair two years ago. 22:18 And it seems we have never been able to get over it. 22:23 And they lived happily ever after? 22:26 Apparently not. 22:30 So I asked you the question now after these two stories, 22:33 how long is a marriage supposed to last? 22:38 Maybe we ought to ask Jesus. 22:42 Let's go to what the singers 22:44 were just singing about a moment ago. 22:45 Open your Bible to the Gospel of Luke. 22:47 The Gospel of Luke Chapter 23. 22:49 The words aren't going to be on the screen. 22:50 So you're going to follow along with your device or your Bible. 22:53 Please, Luke Chapter 23. 22:54 Let's go to Calvary. 22:56 Let's go to the cross for a moment. 22:59 We've got a question to ask Jesus, 23:01 and we need His help. 23:04 Let's drop down in Luke 23:26, 23:06 "And as the soldiers led Jesus away, 23:08 they seized Simon from Cyrene, 23:11 who was on his way in from the country, 23:13 and they put the cross on him 23:14 and they made him carry it behind Jesus." 23:18 Verse 27, "And a large number of people followed him, 23:21 including women who mourned and wailed for him. 23:24 Jesus turned and said to them, 'Daughters of Jerusalem, 23:27 do not weep for me, 23:29 weep for yourselves and for your children. 23:31 For the time will come when you will say, 23:33 'Blessed are the childless women, 23:35 the wombs that never bore 23:37 and the breasts that never nursed!' 23:39 Then they will say to the mountains, 'Fall on us!' 23:41 and to the hills, 'Cover us!' 23:43 For, listen, if people do these things 23:45 when the tree is green, what will happen when it's dry? 23:51 Verse 32, "Two other men, 23:53 both criminals, were also led out with him 23:56 to be executed. 23:58 And when they came to the place called the Skull, 24:01 they crucified him there, 24:02 along with the criminals, one on his right, 24:04 the other on his left. 24:06 And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, 24:10 for they do not know what they are doing.' 24:13 And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.'" 24:17 Let's isolate that line. 24:19 That prayer that Jesus just prayed, 24:22 "Father, forgive them, 24:24 for they do not know what they are doing." 24:30 Now, I don't mean to be disrespectful, Lord, 24:33 but you got to understand that there is, 24:36 that is some gutsy prayer to pray. 24:38 I mean, please excuse me. 24:41 I know this is a very difficult moment for you. 24:44 But what is this business of saying, 24:46 for they don't know what they are doing? 24:48 Are you kidding? 24:50 This is an egregious assault on your dignity. 24:52 They have just broken You in public 24:57 and they don't know what they're doing. 24:59 Your commitment to humanity, 25:01 Your covenant of relentless love 25:03 just ground under the boot of that Roman heel. 25:08 My Lord, Father, forgive them. 25:17 Father, forgive them, 25:21 for they do not know 25:23 what they are doing. 25:26 What's all this has to do with marriage? 25:30 If marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman, 25:32 between a prince and a princess, 25:35 I like the profound way 25:36 Timothy Keller has defined that covenant. 25:40 This is good. 25:41 I put it on the screen for you. 25:42 "The essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, 25:45 a commitment, a promise of," 25:48 what's this word right here? 25:50 "Future love." 25:52 It doesn't read a promise of present love 25:54 because that's what everybody does well at a wedding. 25:56 Everybody is heady and high on present love. 25:59 Man, we got love oozing out the doors here 26:01 whenever we have a wedding in this sacred space. 26:04 That's not what marriage is a promise of. 26:06 It's a promise of future love. 26:08 A love you cannot see yet. 26:11 A love you cannot know yet. 26:14 A love like the love Steven Curtis Chapman in that 26:16 wonderful song of his, I will be here. 26:20 Did you hear that song? 26:22 That's a beautiful song. 26:23 We had him sing it, 26:24 some friends of ours sang it 26:26 at our daughter's wedding right here. 26:27 I will be here. Oh, I got the words right here. 26:30 Tomorrow morning if you wake up 26:32 and the sun does not appear, I... 26:36 How's it go? 26:38 I will be here. 26:39 If in the dark we lose sight of love, 26:42 hold my hand and have no fear 26:44 'cause I, I will be here. 26:49 You know, we just sang. 26:51 We're singing about future love. 26:54 I will be here. 26:56 Tomorrow morning 26:58 if you wake up and the future is unclear, 27:02 I, I will be here. 27:06 As sure as seasons are made for change, 27:09 our lifetimes are made for years, 27:11 so I, I will be here. 27:16 Yeah, that's as my favorite part coming up right here. 27:18 I will be here, you can cry on my shoulder. 27:22 Here it comes. 27:23 When the mirror tells us we're older. 27:26 What's up with those mirrors? 27:29 Where do you get mirrors like this 27:30 that tell you're older? 27:32 Come on, leave me alone mirror. 27:34 I'm still young. 27:35 I'm not older now. Look at her. 27:39 She's not older either. 27:43 I love this line. 27:44 When the mirror tells us we're older, I will hold you. 27:47 This is a promise of future love. 27:49 I will hold you girl, 27:51 I don't care what you look like. 27:52 I don't care what I look like. 27:53 I hope you feel the same way about me. 27:56 I will hold you, 27:57 and I will be here to watch you grow in beauty 27:59 because women grow in beauty the older they get, 28:02 I'm just telling you. 28:07 And tell you all the things you are to me, I will be here. 28:12 And then I will be true to the promises 28:14 I have made to you 28:16 and the one who gave you to me, I will be here. 28:20 I love that because 28:21 that is a beautiful illustration 28:23 of the promise of future love. 28:28 Now the deal is, and we remember this 28:32 somewhere along the way as the months 28:34 and the years roll by, the very nature of a covenant 28:37 has embedded within it the possibility. 28:39 I did not say the probability, the word is the possibility 28:44 that the covenant may can become 28:46 the covenant broken, right? 28:49 Marriage is a promise of future love. 28:53 But here's the deal. 28:56 And I hope you never forget this. 28:57 The truth is, marriage can survive anything 29:03 except that which is not forgiven. 29:08 I'm gonna leave that hanging in front of your eye 29:10 so that you just brood on that for a few moments. 29:12 Marriage can survive anything except that 29:15 which is not forgiven. 29:17 Marriage can survive cancer, I got good news for you. 29:21 They really can. 29:22 Marriage can survive children. 29:27 Marriage can survive bankruptcy. 29:30 Marriage can survive loss of employment. 29:33 Marriage can survive loss of love, 29:35 loss of affection, loss of sex. 29:37 Marriage can even survive divorce. 29:40 I have seen marriages come up out of the dust of the grave 29:43 to be restored, resurrected. 29:48 Marriage can survive anything 29:50 except that which is not forgiven. 29:54 Wow! 29:58 Marriage can survive an awful lot. 30:00 Come to think of it. 30:02 The only way to extend that forgiveness 30:06 there on the screen is to intercede 30:08 before God Himself 30:09 with the words of Jesus Himself. 30:11 Father, forgive her, Father, forgive him. 30:13 He didn't know, 30:15 she didn't know what she was doing. 30:17 I'm telling you, that's a gutsy prayer, 30:20 no matter who prays it. 30:24 Marriage can survive anything except that 30:28 which is not forgiven. 30:30 Well, that was the truth at Calvary. 30:32 Jesus goes through hell on that cross. 30:36 He could not have survived it without that prayer, 30:41 the heinous way, the brutal way He is treated 30:46 by the people He has come to save, 30:48 the broken relationships with His disciples. 30:50 Every covenant in the world, 30:52 in the book has been broken, broken. 30:54 And yeah, He prays, "Father, forgive them, 30:59 they do not know what they are doing." 31:01 That's the only way Calvary has any meaning at all 31:05 is that radical prayer for forgiveness. 31:09 Jesus' covenant to save the human race. 31:14 All we like sheep have gone astray, 31:15 we have turned every one to his own way, 31:18 and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. 31:20 There's nobody here that 31:23 isn't not in desperate need 31:25 of that forgiveness Jesus offers, 31:27 nobody here. 31:31 It's the same for our marriages by the way. 31:34 Somebody has to pray this crimson, 31:35 somebody has to pray 31:37 this crushing prayer of forgiveness 31:38 if that marriage is going to be saved in the end. 31:41 And, of course, that somebody has to be that 31:42 somebody that got wronged. 31:44 Let's just be honest. 31:46 Yep. 31:47 And oh, how we know it, 31:49 nobody is perfect in any marriage, 31:50 not yours or mine. 31:51 We all wrong each other. 31:53 But we agree, some wrongs are so 31:56 as I said a moment ago egregious, 31:58 so serious, they come close to striking a deathblow 32:01 to that marriage covenant. 32:03 I get it. I understand. 32:10 When I conduct a wedding, 32:12 I asked these starry eyed young nuptials, 32:15 would you like to write the vows for your wedding. 32:20 And most often they say, "Sure, be happy to do it." 32:23 But then I say, "Yo, yo, I insist. 32:27 I am also going to read vows of my own." 32:31 You know why? 32:32 Because in the blush 32:34 and rush of preparing for the wedding, 32:37 these vows sometimes get thrown together 32:39 rather quickly. 32:40 And there's a whole lot left out in those vows. 32:42 And they're not promising, 32:43 they're not pledging everything new. 32:45 So I said, "I'm having my own vows." 32:48 And some of you are gonna stand in front of a preacher 32:50 one of these days, perhaps sooner than you think. 32:54 And that preacher is going to move, 32:55 she will move, he will move into vows 32:57 that are similar to 32:59 what I'm going to put on the screen right now. 33:00 In fact, when I do this at a wedding, 33:02 and I ask the young couple to turn to each other 33:04 and gaze into each other's eyes. 33:07 That's always a beautiful moment. 33:11 And I say, "Now, I'm gonna need you 33:13 to listen very carefully. 33:15 And I'm gonna ask you to respond at the end." 33:16 And when I do that, by the way, before I do the vows, 33:20 I ask all who are married in the little audience, 33:24 a little congregation has gathered to celebrate 33:26 this wedding, all who are married, 33:27 if you're married to the person sitting beside you, 33:29 hold her hand, hold his hand right now 33:32 and renew your vows. 33:34 If you're not married to them, don't touch them, 33:36 do not touch them. 33:38 Not during the vows, we could be in trouble. 33:42 All right, so here's the vows. 33:43 There may be some variation on this 33:44 in the wedding that you have planned coming up. 33:49 Marriage vows, here it goes, 33:50 "And now solemnly promising before God, 33:53 and in the presence of these witnesses, 33:55 I will in tone, will you, the groom's full name, 33:59 have this woman, the bride's full name, 34:02 to be your wedded wife to live together 34:05 after God's ordinance 34:06 in the sacred estate of matrimony? 34:08 Will you love her? 34:10 Will you comfort her? 34:11 Will you honor her? 34:12 Will you cherish her in sickness and in health, 34:15 in prosperity or adversity? 34:17 And forsaking all other, 34:19 keep yourself only unto her so long as you both shall live? 34:24 Do you so declare?" 34:26 Now, I tell the groom, memorize your response. 34:30 It's only two words long, no pause. 34:35 No thinking. 34:37 Just say I do. 34:39 Go through that 34:40 same identical script for the bride. 34:44 What's going on here? 34:47 I don't know maybe the vows 34:50 ought to have a line in there keeping that said, 34:52 you know, keeping yourself only unto him 34:54 even when he has not kept himself 34:56 only unto you so long as you both shall live. 35:01 Maybe there needs to be inside that covenant 35:03 that you have pledged your lives to. 35:06 Maybe there needs to be 35:08 some sort of potential forgiveness 35:09 in the event the covenant of marriage 35:10 is broken by the other. 35:12 I wonder how many people would be 35:13 rushing into marriage then? 35:19 Can God heal a triangle? 35:24 So what are you talking about, Dwight? 35:26 Well, you know, a triangle. 35:27 I'll put a triangle on the screen for you. 35:32 What's that triangle about? 35:33 Well, you got a husband here, you got a wife here, 35:37 and you got Jesus right there. 35:39 Had a young couple in my office this week. 35:41 They're getting ready to get married in June. 35:43 And I say, listen, 35:45 one plus one plus one equals one. 35:48 That's God's arithmetic with marriage. 35:50 You become one flesh, 35:52 with Christ and with each other. 35:55 Can God heal a triangle? 35:57 Dwight, there's nothing to heal there. 35:59 Well, let me just... 36:00 Let me just adapt this triangle. 36:03 We'll put another human being in that triangle. 36:08 Can God heal a triangle? 36:12 Who's that another? I don't know who it is. 36:15 I don't need to know. 36:18 But if there is a third person in your relationship, 36:23 you created an untenable triangle. 36:27 Can God heal that triangle? 36:32 Can He? 36:34 Dr. Evelyn Miller Berger, she observed... 36:38 Oh, this is pretty punchy. 36:40 But I'm going to put it on the screen for you anyway. 36:42 Evelyn Miller Berger, 36:44 "I have yet to know of a marriage threatened 36:48 with the intrusion of a third party 36:50 where each partner had not contributed 36:53 to the triangle." 36:56 Nobody's innocent. 37:03 Can God heal a triangle? 37:16 Read the prayer again. 37:18 Luke 23:34, "Father, forgive them, 37:24 for they do not know what they are doing." 37:29 Did you know that Paul takes this moment 37:31 with Jesus on the cross that we just sang about. 37:35 And he drives home 37:37 the promise of marriage to be made whole 37:40 in a beautiful, beautiful way. 37:42 You got to see this. I've never seen this before. 37:46 What Jesus just did on the cross, 37:48 this prayer Paul does, 37:50 I need you to find in your Bible. 37:51 So it's Ephesians Chapter 5. 37:53 Sinegugu just read it a moment ago. 37:54 Ephesians Chapter 5, drop down to verse 25. 37:59 So this is Ephesians 5:25. 38:02 Here are the words, "Husbands, love your wives, 38:06 just as Christ loved the church 38:09 and gave himself up for her." 38:13 Whoa, hit the pause button right there. 38:16 When Jesus went to the cross, the people of God, 38:18 okay, the church had broken 38:22 every covenant in the book. 38:24 All right, we're talking about the disciples, 38:26 they have broken their relationship with them, 38:28 even His closest and yet He gives Himself up 38:31 for that group of people. 38:33 He gives Himself up for the church 38:34 that has spit in His face as it were. 38:40 Paul seizes that agape self sacrificing love. 38:44 And Paul points at the husband 38:45 and he says, yo, sir, I'm talking to you. 38:49 I want you to love her that way, 38:53 the way Jesus loved you in the church. 38:57 Now we live in an egalitarian age, 38:59 I understand that. 39:00 And wife, I'm willing to put you into the equation. 39:02 But here's the deal, 39:04 somebody has to make the first move. 39:07 And husband, you're that somebody, 39:12 you have to make the first, 39:13 somebody is going to have to take the initiative. 39:15 Somebody is going to have to back down 39:17 from that argument that is 39:18 escalating into World War III. 39:21 Somebody is going to have to say, 39:22 I'm sorry for letting it go this far. 39:24 Somebody is going to have to say, 39:26 will you forgive me? 39:27 Somebody is called husband. 39:33 Paul is unequivocal. 39:36 I don't care what the rules are in society, 39:39 you are doing it. 39:42 Whoa. 39:44 There's no caveat here. 39:46 There's no exception clause. There's no precondition. 39:49 There's no prenuptial agreement. 39:51 There's nothing here but you will do it, sir. 39:57 Whoa. 40:00 Just like Jesus' self crucifying love, 40:03 but what's so stunning, you got to see this. 40:05 What is so stunning is that when you do love that way, 40:09 and you can't get the love inside of you, 40:11 it'll have to come from outside of you, 40:12 so that's okay, 40:14 but doesn't have to be original with you. 40:15 When Jesus love, loves through you, 40:17 three profound outcomes take place. 40:20 Watch this. 40:22 First, you're going to see how it takes place. 40:23 These three profound outcomes take place 40:25 with Christ in the church, never going to take Jesus 40:27 out of the picture sort of, 40:28 and put the husband in the picture 40:30 and see how the husband 40:31 can bring these three profound outcomes 40:33 into the life of the woman he is married to. 40:35 Watch this. Here we go. 40:36 So let's read verse 25 again. 40:39 "Husbands, love your wives, 40:41 just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." 40:44 Now I'm inserting the numbers 1, 2, 3. 40:47 So you'll see them right here. 40:48 Number one, here's the outcome. 40:49 Number one, Christ makes the church holy, 40:52 He makes her holy. 40:54 Number two, Christ cleanses her 40:56 by the washing with water through the Word. 40:59 Number three, Christ presents her to himself 41:02 as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle, 41:05 or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." 41:10 Mercy. 41:11 He's saying, Paul is saying, listen, guy, 41:13 if you will love your girl that way, 41:15 you will do the same for her. 41:18 Let's try it out. 41:19 Three profound outcomes. 41:21 Let's put them on the screen. 41:23 Outcome number one, you will make her wholly yours. 41:27 That's the easiest way for us to understand the word wholly. 41:29 You'll make her holiest. 41:31 Hey, girl, I'm all yours, and you are all mine. 41:34 Is that clear? 41:36 I am wholly yours. 41:38 Mark Regnerus, 41:39 whose text we've been tracking off and on 41:42 in this little mini-series that ends right now. 41:45 He points out that every marriage on this planet 41:50 shares these four, 41:52 doesn't matter if you're atheist, Hindu, 41:53 Buddhist, Christian, doesn't matter. 41:54 Every marriage on this planet shares these four expectations. 41:57 I'm just going to read them to you. 41:59 Expectation number one is the expectation of totality. 42:03 I am all yours. 42:04 That's exactly what Paul is talking about here 42:06 is the expectation of totality. 42:08 Expectation number two 42:10 is the expectation of permanence. 42:13 Everybody goes into a marriage, 42:15 believing that this will last the whole life long. 42:19 Nobody says, I need it to last six months. 42:21 I need it to last five years. 42:22 No, everybody goes in believing this 42:24 will last the whole lifelong. 42:26 So it's totality, it's permanence. 42:29 Number three, children. 42:31 Everybody goes into a marriage thinking, 42:32 you know, somewhere along the way, girl, 42:33 we're gonna have kids. 42:35 Right? 42:36 That's just an expectation in birthed with a new marriage. 42:40 And finally, number four, everyone goes into a marriage 42:43 believing that there will be sexual fidelity. 42:47 You will not play around on me 42:48 and I will not play around on you. 42:50 You can be an atheist 42:52 and you require sexual fidelity. 42:53 That's not a God thing. That is just human. 42:56 Of course, we got it from God. 42:59 Wow. 43:00 So Paul says, 43:01 there are three powerful outcomes here as Jesus 43:03 with the church is going to be with you 43:05 and your wife, you will make her wholly yours. 43:07 Yeah. 43:08 But, Dwight, if she doesn't want to be wholly mine? 43:10 Well, I suppose that could happen. 43:12 It happened to Hosea, the Prophet Hosea. 43:15 Now this is a direct quote by the way, 43:17 Hosea 3:1, God says, 43:19 "Go show your love to your wife again, 43:21 though she is loved by another." 43:23 There's a triangle going on here. 43:24 But you go get that girl. 43:26 You go, show your love to her. 43:29 You win her back. 43:32 You're winning her back. 43:34 Three profound outcomes. 43:36 Profound outcome number two, you will make her purely yours. 43:40 I don't care what her past is. 43:41 It might be a few weeks old, 43:43 her past might be a few months old, 43:44 her past may be years old now. 43:48 But you have washed it. 43:50 You have washed it. 43:52 And she stands pure before you now. 43:55 Thanks to your commitment. 43:58 Three profound and powerful outcomes. 44:00 You'll make her wholly, you'll make her purely. 44:02 And I love this one. 44:04 You will make her beautifully yours. 44:07 The most beautiful creature on the planet 44:09 I am convinced is a bride. 44:13 There's nobody prettier than a bride. 44:14 I don't care what culture or land that you're from. 44:18 A bride is beautiful. 44:20 Husband, you're gonna make her beautiful. 44:24 Oh! 44:27 Isn't that what Jesus does to us? 44:29 I mean, doesn't He treat us this way? 44:31 Come on, Steps of Christ. 44:32 This famous quotation, page 62, "If you give yourself to Jesus, 44:36 and accept Him as your Savior, 44:38 then, sinful as your life may have been, 44:41 that's the past, 44:42 for His sake you are accounted righteous." 44:45 That's the present. 44:46 "Christ's character stands in place of your character, 44:48 and you are accepted 44:50 before God just as if you had not sinned." 44:53 The past is gone. 44:55 That's what the gospel does. 44:56 The past is gone. 44:59 And that's the only way 45:00 some marriages will ever survive. 45:02 No, I take that back. 45:03 That's the only way any marriage 45:05 will ever survive 45:07 is if the past is gone. 45:13 You willing to treat your spouse that way, 45:16 just as if you had not sinned? 45:19 That's pretty heavy. 45:21 Just as if you had not sinned. 45:26 Wow. 45:29 That's the only way it can happen, 45:31 it's through forgiveness. 45:32 I'm telling you, we are forgiven, 45:33 that song, I mean, 45:35 that's the only way we survived. 45:37 How did that note read that was under my windshield wiper? 45:39 Let me read it again. 45:40 Thank you for your sermon 45:42 on how to choose the right partner in marriage. 45:44 My husband and I will be in divorce court on Monday. 45:47 I had an affair two years ago, and it seems we have never been 45:50 able to get over it. 45:53 I cannot speak to that marriage. 45:56 But I can speak to your marriage, 45:59 and I can speak to my marriage. 46:06 A marriage cannot survive what is not forgiven. 46:12 And that's by the way, you're single 46:14 and you're not planning to ever get married. 46:16 That's okay. 46:18 Jesus never got married. 46:20 But it's just as true for any relationship you have, 46:23 any relationship you're in, if you cannot forgive, 46:26 if you cannot forgive, 46:31 that relationship is over. 46:32 Lewis Smedes, 46:33 the great New Testament ethicist and theologian. 46:36 The most creative power, this is dynamite by the way. 46:39 "The most creative power given to the human spirit 46:42 is the power to heal the wounds of a past it cannot change. 46:48 I want to hang that in front of your eyes for a few moments. 46:50 You can't change the past. 46:52 You cannot change the past. 46:54 The only thing that you have power to do 46:57 is forgive the past. 46:59 That's it. 47:01 If you say no, I'm not gonna forgive it. 47:03 Okay, you'll be broken too. 47:06 Some people say "Well, I'm not gonna forgive 47:07 and I'm gonna have a nice new start." 47:09 Nope, you won't have a new nice new start. 47:12 If you can't forgive, 47:13 don't you ever get married again? 47:17 Why? 47:18 Because you're gonna do the same thing. 47:20 You see, we have these categories, 47:22 guilty and innocent. 47:24 We just found out it in a triangle, 47:26 there's nobody innocent. 47:28 And that's the point. 47:30 We all need the prayer of Calvary. 47:32 Father, forgive him, forgive her. 47:34 She does not know what she is doing. 47:37 Husband, wife, princess, prince, follower of Christ, 47:40 your forgiveness has the creative power 47:43 to heal the wounds of a past you cannot. 47:47 You cannot change. 47:49 Father forgive them, 47:50 they did not know what they were doing. 47:52 I'm gonna put one more sentence. 47:54 This is going to make you feel a little bit squeamish now. 47:57 But I need to put it up because it's the gospel truth. 48:00 All right. 48:03 Adultery is not so much the grounds for divorce 48:06 as it is the grounds for forgiveness. 48:11 I want you to remember that sentence 48:12 and I want you to tell it to a friend of yours. 48:15 There'll be a time 48:16 when a friend of yours will need to hear that. 48:19 What are you saying, Dwight, 48:21 that I bound to this abuser for the rest of my life. 48:26 No, I'm not saying that at all. 48:29 But all things being equal. 48:32 Adultery is not so much the grounds for divorce 48:37 as it is the grounds for forgiveness. 48:41 I mean, if Jesus can't forgive us, 48:43 that is over. 48:45 It's over. 48:51 The most creative power given to you 48:53 is the power to heal the wounds of a past you cannot change. 49:01 You can run from it. 49:03 It'll be running right behind you. 49:06 If you don't forgive it, it will track you 49:09 for the rest of your life, promise. 49:17 I want to share a quotation in a story and I'm done. 49:20 First the quotation, Desire of Ages, 49:21 this classic on the life of Jesus 49:23 speaking of Father, 49:24 forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. 49:26 "That prayer of Christ 49:28 for His enemies embraced the world. 49:32 It took in every sinner that had lived or should live 49:35 from the beginning of the world to the end of time." 49:37 We're talking about the pledge of future love. 49:39 Look at this. 49:40 It's taken in every sinner 49:42 that will ever live until probation closes one day. 49:44 Every sinner is covered by that prayer. 49:46 Keep reading, "Upon all of us 49:48 rest the guilt of crucifying the Son of God. 49:50 To all of us, forgiveness is freely offered." 49:54 There is no guilt, guilty versus innocent now. 50:00 We're all culpable. 50:02 I understand it's not the same, 50:07 but we're all culpable. 50:10 To all of us, forgiveness is freely offered. 50:16 Can I get a hallelujah to that? 50:19 To all of us, forgiveness is freely offered. 50:29 J. Allan Petersen in his marvelous book on marriage, 50:33 he is a marriage counselor. 50:35 The title of the book, the Myth of the Greener Grass. 50:39 The title just says a lot, doesn't it? 50:42 He tells a story, and we end with a story. 50:45 Somebody wrote it up. 50:48 And here it is. 50:49 I was 20 and he was 26. 50:54 We've been married two years and I hadn't dreamed 50:56 he could be unfaithful. 51:01 The awful truth was brought home to me 51:03 when a young widow from a neighboring farm 51:04 came to tell me 51:06 she was carrying my husband's child. 51:09 My world collapsed. 51:12 I wanted to die. 51:14 I fought an urge to kill her and him. 51:18 I knew that wasn't the answer. 51:20 I pray for strength and guidance and it came. 51:23 I knew I had to forgive this man and I did. 51:27 I forgave her too. 51:29 I calmly told my husband, what I had learned. 51:33 And the three of us worked out a solution together. 51:36 What a frightened little creature she was. 51:39 The baby was born in my home. 51:41 Everyone thought I had given birth 51:43 and that my neighbor was helping me. 51:45 Actually it was the other way around. 51:48 But the widow was spared humiliation. 51:50 She had three other children, 51:51 and the little boy was raised as my own. 51:54 He never knew the truth. 51:57 I have never mentioned this incident to my husband. 52:01 It has been a closed chapter in our lives for 50 years. 52:07 But I have read the love and gratitude in his eyes 52:11 a thousand times. 52:26 Somewhere in the Bible, the same one who prayed Father, 52:31 forgive them, they don't know what they're doing, 52:35 spoke these words freely 52:37 you have received freely give. 52:43 If you have received forgiveness from Him, 52:48 surely there is forgiveness, enough forgiveness 52:53 in your heart for her, 52:57 for him, for them. 53:06 Somebody may need to hear from you 53:13 sooner rather than later, 53:16 maybe even today. 53:23 Let's pray. 53:25 Oh God, wow... 53:31 At the foot of the cross we hear our Lord's Prayer. 53:35 We understand cognitively what Jesus is asking for. 53:42 But my Lord, 53:45 how are you going to operationalize 53:46 that now in my marriage? 53:53 Lord Jesus, only the power of Your prayer 53:58 and forgiveness can save 54:00 some marriages right now. 54:04 But it is not too late 54:05 to unleash Calvary's self crucifying love 54:08 in his heart in her heart 54:10 and recreate that marriage and restore that love 54:14 as only You can do 54:17 for Your glory and namesake. 54:24 Amen. 54:28 I want you to sit back and listen as our Sinegugu 54:31 and our team sing a beautiful song, 54:36 happy the home where God is there. 54:38 I want you to think of these words 54:41 as they sing right now. 55:13 Happy the home when God is there 55:19 And love fills ev'ry breast 55:26 When one their wish 55:29 And one their prayer 55:32 And one their heav'nly rest 55:39 Happy the home where Jesus' name 55:45 Is sweet to ev'ry ear 55:52 Where children early lisp His fame 55:58 And parents hold Him dear 56:05 Happy the home where prayer is heard 56:12 And praise is known to rise 56:19 Where parents love the sacred Word 56:25 And all its wisdom prize 56:32 Lord, let us in our homes agree 56:39 This blessed peace to gain 56:46 Unite our hearts in love to Thee 56:53 And love to all will reign 57:08 We've been really blessed by the financial support 57:10 that comes from our viewers. 57:12 And we've made a conscious decision 57:13 not to continually appeal to you 57:15 for that support. 57:17 The fact is, as everyone in the industry will tell you, 57:20 we're needing to make constant upgrades 57:21 to our technology. 57:23 So if God has blessed you 57:24 and you'd like to further the work of this ministry, 57:26 we invite you to partner with us. 57:28 Not a single penny of your donation 57:30 will go to me. 57:31 Every bit of your gift goes to the mission 57:33 of blessing your community and our world. 57:36 You can donate on our website, 57:37 new perceptions.tv or call the number. 57:40 You know, the number 877-HIS-WILL. 57:43 Again that number is 877, the two words HIS-WILL. 57:47 And may the God 57:48 who has blessed you continue to pour into your life, 57:51 the gifts of His joy and His hope. 57:53 Thank you. 57:55 And I'm looking forward to seeing you right here, 57:57 again, next time. |
Revised 2021-06-20