Multitude of Counselors

Deliverance of a Defiant Teen

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Jennifer Jill Schwirzer (Host), Christina Ceccoto, David Guerrero, Dr. Jean Wright II, Lo-Ammi Richardson

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Series Code: MOC

Program Code: MOC000026A


00:26 We're admitting our sketchy histories today
00:29 on A Multitude of Counselors
00:30 because God has delivered us from defiance,
00:33 in fact, the name of our Program today is:
00:36 The Deliverance of a Defiant Teen.
00:39 Let me talk to you a little bit about a couple of disorders.
00:43 One is called: Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
00:47 It features aggression, antisocial behavior,
00:50 impulsivity, irritability, screaming and self-harm.
00:54 There's another disorder that's kind of related to it,
00:58 it's called: Conduct Disorder
00:59 but this one is even more severe,
01:01 it is the childhood antecedent
01:03 to Antisocial Personality Disorder
01:06 and it is characterized by really criminal activity that...
01:10 from which a person is like, bereft of any kind of empathy
01:14 or regard for the rights of others.
01:16 An Oppositional Defiant Kid is kind of like an angry young man,
01:21 a Conduct-disordered Kid is going to be more of like,
01:24 a criminal or a thug, so anyway,
01:27 what's the prevalence of these disorders?
01:29 The National Center for Biotechnology Information
01:32 estimates that ODD is at a lifetime prevalence rate
01:36 of about ten percent
01:37 and then Conduct Disorder at about five percent...
01:40 so significantly less.
01:41 What are the causes of these disorders?
01:44 Well, human beings are imitative creatures...
01:48 we copy behaviors and so sometimes
01:52 ODD comes as a result
01:54 of a child seeing oppositional behavior in his parent.
01:58 Also, poor attachment is thought
02:00 to underpin oppositional problems
02:03 and childhood trauma can lead to oppositional...
02:06 or loss of some kind can lead to oppositional behaviors...
02:09 the kid's just hurt... and then angry out of that hurt.
02:13 So what about prognosis or treatment?
02:15 Well, you know, there are some significant brain changes
02:18 during adolescence involving hormones...
02:21 "raging hormones... " as we call them...
02:22 and so sometimes... as that all kind of corrects itself
02:26 as the child matures... the situation resolves itself.
02:29 If there... if it continues or if it persists,
02:32 what therapists do is... they work with the parents
02:35 to help them have consistent, loving, judicious parenting...
02:40 good boundaries...
02:42 and then maintaining those boundaries
02:43 so, who we have today
02:45 to talk with us about Oppositional Defiant Disorder...
02:48 I've kind of diagnosed you informally
02:50 because I don't think you were formally diagnosed, right?
02:53 But now that you know that there is an even worse disorder,
02:56 you should be thankful that you only get... ODD diagnosis...
02:58 so who we have to talk to us about that is: Lo-Ammi...
03:03 I'm just learning how to say your name, right?
03:05 Richardson... from Orlando...
03:08 we're so thankful that you chose to join us today
03:11 Lo-Ammi: Glad to be here.
03:12 Jennifer: And we have our Panel of Counselors as well
03:14 David Guerrero,
03:15 Biblical Counselor from Wisconsin,
03:17 we have Christina Cecotto,
03:18 Licensed Professional Counselor from Georgia
03:22 and we have Dr. Jean Wright from my hometown of Philadelphia
03:25 at least until now
03:27 because I've just moved to Orlando and joined you...
03:29 to keep an eye on you young man, that's right.
03:32 Lo-Ammi: Absolutely, to keep me on track.
03:33 David: Don't get defiant now.
03:35 Jennifer: Tell me a little about
03:36 how things developed in your childhood
03:38 I think you had some losses, didn't you
03:40 and some difficulties
03:41 as a result of those losses, go ahead.
03:43 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, I kind of grew up in an Adventist home...
03:44 mom and dad...
03:46 I grew up in a home where we had family worship...
03:48 attended church...
03:50 maybe about the age of 11- or 12-years old,
03:53 the situation at home wasn't great
03:56 and so mom decided to leave...
03:58 we had a home in Puerto Rico
03:59 and so she decided to leave to Puerto Rico...
04:02 she... her heart was always there...
04:04 and... but the situation at the house
04:07 wasn't as good as she would like for it to be
04:11 and so, eventually, I kind of...
04:13 in an environment where we have family worship
04:15 all of a sudden... there's just my father and I
04:18 and I'm kind of raised with my father
04:20 and he worked part time,
04:21 he was retired but then he got a secondary job
04:24 and worked night shifts
04:25 and so, that was kind of my introduction of independence,
04:29 Saturday nights... I was by myself...
04:31 during the week nights, by myself...
04:33 and so, Dad would work at night...
04:35 when he came home, he'd fall asleep...
04:37 Jennifer: You had all kinds of "alone time. "
04:39 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, yeah... a little bit too much time.
04:41 Jennifer: Siblings... siblings around?
04:43 Lo-Ammi: Yes, I had two older brothers...
04:44 three... one of them passed away...
04:45 and then my older sister.
04:47 Jennifer: Were they around when you were...
04:48 Lo-Ammi: No, because I was the only child in the home...
04:50 Jennifer: So, effectively you were an only child.
04:52 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, so my parents actually were
04:54 old when they had me... my dad was 60 plus
04:56 and my mom was up in her mid-40s...
04:58 so... when they had me so I kind of...
05:00 was in a home where there was an age discrepancy
05:02 between my parents and I so there was really none...
05:05 they came from a different generation
05:06 than when I was growing up.
05:08 David: And your siblings were older?
05:09 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, much older... much older...
05:10 so all my life... I always hung around older people...
05:12 I never really hung out with anybody my age.
05:14 Jennifer: One other question...
05:15 did you notice a conflict between your parents...
05:18 that led to the separation or... not so much...?
05:20 Lo-Ammi: Oh yeah, I mean... there was disagreement...
05:22 finances was usually the case...
05:25 even issues within the church...
05:27 my mother was very spiritual... very religious...
05:29 my father was... I guess you would say,
05:31 more "works" oriented...
05:32 he was very beloved and loved by everyone
05:34 but not necessarily the spiritual mentor
05:36 that you would want the father figure to be...
05:38 so my mom... was that... and so there were always issues,
05:42 nothing specific but again,
05:44 my mom always wanted to move back to Puerto Rico
05:46 because she had a house there, she was a country girl at heart
05:48 and so... so they owned the home
05:50 and she eventually moved back.
05:52 Jennifer: So what came into that vacuum?
05:54 You have all this "alone time,"
05:55 things are kind of difficult at home...
05:59 what came into the vacuum for you?
06:00 Lo-Ammi: I mean, yes, I mean...
06:01 I started watching movies, obviously, TV
06:04 you know, music was kind of introduced...
06:06 I remember purchasing my first Boyz ll Men CD...
06:09 Mariah Carey... and then it kind of progressed from there...
06:11 and watching things that normally you wouldn't...
06:14 wouldn't be able to watch
06:16 but you have free time and you're alone... so...
06:18 David: No supervision?
06:19 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, no supervision... so you kind of watch...
06:20 you know... Saturday night...
06:22 all the TV shows cut off at ten
06:25 and then all of a sudden it's... "Oh, adult cartoons... "
06:27 and... it kind of progressed from there... so...
06:29 David: And no is there.
06:30 Lo-Ammi: No one is there to kind of... just... just myself.
06:32 Jennifer: And some of the music celebrities
06:33 are not the most savory characters in the world
06:36 if I'm not mistaken.
06:37 Lo-Ammi: No not at all...
06:38 actually one of the big influences was
06:40 Puffy... Bad Boy... and that kind of genre of music
06:44 so I was immersed in hip hop and its culture...
06:48 I was fast forwarding in it
06:50 and kind of mimicked a lot of my...
06:51 thought pattern and behavior... and even my world views
06:54 to the things that I was listening to...
06:56 David: And even the messages that came into your mind...
06:58 from the music and what you were watching...
07:00 Lo-Ammi: Oh yeah, absolutely and part of it is
07:01 because you can actually relate to it...
07:03 you know, as you were mentioning before,
07:04 you hear about songs where
07:07 the father is not home... mom's not home...
07:09 and you can kind of relate to their experiences
07:11 so you gravitate to... to their lyrics and their worldview.
07:14 David: And their behavior.
07:15 Lo-Ammi: And their behavior... so...
07:17 Jennifer: So what did you start to do, would you act out or...?
07:20 Lo-Ammi: Oh yeah, so for me... I was just...
07:21 I was always someone who had to get my point across...
07:24 I had to have the final word or at least... hear me out...
07:26 and understand what I'm saying,
07:28 and so, you know, my parents' generation was...
07:31 I was a "why" kid, "Well, why do I have to do it?"
07:34 "Because I said so... " "But... why?"
07:35 "Shut up and do what I said... " you know... and so...
07:38 Christina: Did they ever give you an explanation
07:41 or they just said, "Because I said so... "
07:42 Lo-Ammi: Not necessarily... my mom...
07:44 not necessarily... it was kind of...
07:45 it was on the rule that you did what parents did
07:48 and for me... I just wanted to know
07:49 and so, eventually when my dad did quit his job
07:53 and he started being at home much more...
07:55 all of a sudden, there were rules...
07:56 there was, "I want you to be at home at a certain time... "
07:59 I'm like, "No, I'm going out... "
08:01 Jennifer: And you're like, "I've had freedom up until now,
08:04 what is this... sudden...
08:05 Lo-Ammi: Exactly, so you know...
08:07 now that I'm not young anymore,
08:09 I'm going out to teenage clubs and going out late nights
08:12 and for the most part, I was pretty kosher...
08:16 I wasn't doing nothing too bad, I was just staying out late
08:19 and so, of course, my dad would say,
08:21 "No thing good happens after 12 o'clock. "
08:22 "Well, so I'm doing...
08:24 you know the people that I'm hanging out with... "
08:25 and so there was, now, this conflict in the home where,
08:28 "I need you to do this... "
08:30 and I'm like, "Oh, you haven't been there for me to
08:32 know what I needed to do, I've been doing on my own... "
08:34 and so, that's kind of... that was kind of where...
08:37 Jennifer: Some resentment.
08:38 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
08:39 some of the stuff that kind of sprung up...
08:41 I was saying my parents loved me,
08:42 they raised me the best way they knew how,
08:44 I just think that because of that generational gap,
08:47 there was a lot of misunderstandings and...
08:49 my dad grew up in a generation,
08:52 "You work hard, in 40 years, you retire and you do what I do"
08:54 and for me, I'm like, "Well, I want to explore the world
08:57 there's so much more out there... "
08:58 and so, yeah, that was kind of the... where it kind of started
09:03 and so, issues with my father, you know,
09:05 not necessarily... I was rebelling or I was agitating
09:08 and... going against his rules and so eventually,
09:11 I got myself in a situation where the police were called...
09:14 that I got arrested and... the crazy thing is that
09:17 nobody ever knew what was going on internally
09:20 because I have no tattoos...
09:21 I'm a pretty straight forward kid,
09:23 I laugh all the time, I like to enjoy life but...
09:25 Christina: How old were you during all this time?
09:27 Lo-Ammi: Oh, this is maybe around 13... 14... years old...
09:29 and so, at this point where... mom was gone,
09:33 we went to go visit Puerto Rico
09:34 and lo and behold I find out
09:36 that I'm now going to be staying in Puerto Rico
09:39 and... at a very crucial point in my life
09:42 where now I'm introduced to a whole new culture...
09:45 whole new people and...
09:46 and I felt like, mom and dad "betrayed" me...
09:49 like, nobody ever sat me down to talk to me... it was like,
09:51 "I can't deal with you... these are the issues... "
09:53 and so, that was kind of where...
09:54 David: So, you felt betrayed by them?
09:56 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, yeah, I felt like I was a bouncing check
09:59 because they are retired so they get a certain income...
10:02 whoever has the custody of... who has custody of me...
10:05 and so...
10:07 Jean: So there was never a communication between your dad
10:10 that, "We're going to have to do something different,
10:12 you're going to go to Puerto Rico... "
10:14 conversation of any kind.
10:16 Lo-Ammi: There was nothing communicated, like I said,
10:17 I remember... he had a two-way plane ticket,
10:20 I had a one-way ticket and... I asked...
10:22 obviously as a kid like, "Why do I have one ticket?"
10:24 "Oh, you have the whole summer to spend there... "
10:26 "All right, cool... " and so, I'm in Puerto Rico...
10:28 we're enjoying... my dad leaves...
10:30 and August comes around, schools are there
10:32 and I'm like, "Hey, Dad, school's about to... "
10:34 "Oh no, you're staying there. " I was like, "What?"
10:36 mom knew... and then mom knows...
10:38 and I'm like, "Oh, you knew... "
10:39 and so, and so this is...
10:41 I felt like, "Okay, nobody is talking to me about it... "
10:44 and so this resentment kind of came over me.
10:46 Jean: You felt tricked.
10:48 Lo-Ammi: Absolutely, absolutely, and so...
10:50 Jennifer: How did that... how did it manifest itself,
10:53 I mean, so far, you've been staying out late
10:55 but no drugs... no drinking?
10:56 Lo-Ammi: Well, at this point,
10:58 I wasn't doing any of those things
10:59 but in Puerto Rico... kind of in a culture where
11:01 it's normal to see teenage kids drinking at 15 years old...
11:04 and so, we had a bar, literally, right next door to our house
11:07 and so, you play pool... you stay out late...
11:10 and before you know it, you're drinking
11:12 and then, you're smoking... and then, you're skipping school
11:14 nobody is knowing I'm doing all of these things
11:16 all of a sudden you're participating in car robberies
11:19 and, you're... and at this time, you really don't know...
11:22 there's a language barrier... the culture is talking...
11:25 for me, there was basketball, my outlet was music...
11:28 my outlet... and so... whatever...
11:29 that was kind of my safe haven... was basketball
11:32 but for the most part, in order for me to fit in,
11:34 I had to kind of do what everyone else did
11:36 and so, that was kind of what I gravitated to.
11:38 Jennifer: Hmmm... you know,
11:40 sometimes you have these issues with young people,
11:43 and you scratch your head
11:44 because the parents are so committed
11:47 and there is really no explanation for what's going on
11:49 but I can see a direct line
11:51 between some of the things that happened to you
11:54 and the lack of communication with your parents
11:57 and you acting out...
11:58 so that's good, that means you're not incurable.
12:01 David: The lack of attention that a child needs...
12:05 Jean: And the other thing is developmentally...
12:07 you weren't developmentally prepared to raise yourself
12:09 and what kid is...
12:11 Jennifer: Yeah, exactly.
12:12 Jean: And so, from a developmental standpoint
12:13 it was really you at a disadvantage,
12:15 you were growing up... there was a parent in the home
12:17 but wasn't available... sounds like it...
12:20 and then, as a 12-year-old, 13... whatever...
12:22 you're having to figure these things out...
12:24 and not having a direct link to the wisdom of an adult.
12:27 Jennifer: Yeah, what was that Proverb, David?
12:29 that "A child left to himself... "
12:32 David: It was Proverbs 29:15 says,
12:34 "The rod and reproof give wisdom:
12:36 but a... " listen to this...
12:38 "but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. "
12:43 Or his parents... he was left to himself...
12:46 Lo-Ammi: And it's interesting you say that because
12:48 my mother was known as a very spiritual lady
12:51 in the church and in the community
12:53 and so, when I did all these things, it was kind of...
12:56 Jennifer: A bad reflection on her.
12:57 Lo-Ammi: Exactly, but I knew that she was a spiritual lady...
13:00 that she... I mean...
13:01 I dedicate my... all of my life to that woman, right...
13:04 if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be back in the church
13:06 but as the Proverb says, I did get the rebuke
13:09 and I did get the chastising but the...
13:12 but because of my behavior, I did put her to shame.
13:14 I did put my parents to shame and so,
13:17 even with... my family... there was...
13:19 all the hurt was that bad...
13:21 but they never took time to really hear me out
13:24 and even if they did,
13:25 maybe, I didn't communicate it directly
13:27 but that's... that's how it kind of...
13:29 David: And like I was saying
13:31 here's a child that needs to be raised
13:35 and God gives parents the responsibility to raise a child
13:38 and he is trying to raise himself...
13:39 and what I heard was happening
13:42 was that there was a lot of pain that you were experiencing
13:47 because of the absence of your mother and father
13:50 and you started to cry out by saying,
13:53 "Hear me out... " because he was so lonely...
13:55 and when you tried to say, "Hear me out... "
13:58 either by saying those words
14:00 or by behavior that wasn't acceptable
14:03 what was happening was, they were trying to squash you
14:05 and say, "No, be quiet and we're going to control you
14:07 and we're going to tell you what to do... "
14:08 the then other thing that I saw was,
14:10 your father... and we do this as fathers...
14:12 because I'm a father and I have children...
14:14 is that, oftentimes that I will begin to regret...
14:20 or a man will begin to regret of the things that he didn't do
14:22 so then he'll overcompensate by saying,
14:24 you know, "I'm going to control you
14:26 so I'm going to be a good father
14:27 and you're going to do this and do that
14:29 so that things will turn out right... "
14:30 but doing that actually does not help... it hurts...
14:36 and you have the opposite effect.
14:37 Jennifer: Well, what if you are a parent
14:39 and you all actually haven't really been
14:40 boundaried enough with your kids
14:41 or you haven't been involved enough... what do you do?
14:43 Do you go to them and admit it and say,
14:46 "I want to try to change things... " or... what?
14:48 David: Part of that is, is... "Yes... "
14:49 honesty... you're sitting down with your children...
14:51 I've had to do that and say, "You know, Son... "
14:53 or... to my daughter... "I was wrong...
14:56 these are the things that I have done that really...
14:58 I shouldn't have done...
15:00 and can you forgive me?"
15:02 And the second thing...
15:03 and I do counsel parents all the time... is I say,
15:05 "You know, start trying to build a relationship with your child
15:08 but do it slowly...
15:09 don't try to jump into their space and say, 'I'm here... '
15:12 but slowly try to build the relationship...
15:15 maybe take them out for... to lunch...
15:17 or dinner... or to start doing some things with them...
15:20 start building a relationship with one another
15:23 so that it can gain your trust and vice versa. "
15:26 Christina: I think it's important to note
15:27 that there are two absences... if I can say that...
15:30 physically... your parents weren't there...
15:33 and then, also emotionally...
15:35 and that's the one that I'm hearing a lot...
15:38 even though, I think you said...
15:39 and you'll have to correct me if I'm wrong...
15:41 but that your mother was there in Puerto Rico...
15:43 it's not that she had a night job or anything...
15:44 and was sleeping during the day,
15:46 but yet, that emotional connection wasn't there
15:50 so it wasn't the emotional intimacy...
15:51 Lo-Ammi: Right, so my mother was always the one who...
15:53 "Here, come here, sit on my lap...
15:54 let me do... hug and kisses and... "
15:56 and I'm like, "I'm a grown man,
15:57 stop doing that... " right...
15:59 and my father was well... "I provide... I gave you this...
16:01 this is... " you know... and so...
16:02 David: They were doing the best that they could...
16:03 that they understood...
16:05 Lo-Ammi: From what they understood and once I got older,
16:06 I appreciated my dad for who he was
16:08 and my mother... how they could love me...
16:11 the only way they knew how...
16:12 but I was just thinking about this... like,
16:15 I didn't even call my dad, "Dad... "
16:16 until, maybe, I was ten years old.
16:18 because everyone called him "Uncle Sonny... "
16:20 that was his nickname... and so I called him Uncle Sonny,
16:22 so, when I did say "Dad" for the first time,
16:24 I was like, "This is weird... it's dad... "
16:27 but that was kind of that transition where
16:29 he was... he did what he could
16:32 but there was that disconnection that was there...
16:34 there wasn't that father... son... relationship,
16:37 I knew he loved me and he respected me,
16:38 but that... again that emotional connection that you would need
16:41 was kind of absent because my mom was in Puerto Rico
16:44 and so, that... I did receive it...
16:46 but it was... it was long distance.
16:47 Jennifer: So you're there... you're in Puerto Rico,
16:50 you're starting to act out criminally...
16:52 you come to a breaking point, something happens...
16:55 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, so they...
16:56 my sister and my mother wanted to send me to, like a boot camp
17:00 and kind of straighten me out and...
17:01 and... and I've watched...
17:03 Jennifer: When you say boot camp... you mean like,
17:04 therapeutic boarding school places.
17:06 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, Military School or... you know...
17:08 I watched Maury and all of these TV shows...
17:10 and the Sergeant is drilling the kid and making sure that...
17:13 David: In your face...
17:15 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, yeah... I'm in Puerto Rico
17:16 and it's bad over there and so...
17:18 Jennifer: The Boot Camp would be there?
17:19 Lo-Ammi: Yeah so...
17:21 Jennifer: And the Boot Camps there are even more extreme
17:22 than they are here...
17:23 Lo-Ammi: Than in the States... and I was like,
17:25 "All right, let me straighten out my act... a little bit... "
17:27 and so, I did the right things
17:29 but... so eventually I did move back to Orlando
17:32 but that behavior never necessarily changed...
17:34 David: With the heart...
17:35 Lo-Ammi: Yeah, it was a heart change...
17:37 I grew up in the church, I went to church...
17:38 if you've ever been to a black church...
17:39 you're in church all day long right...
17:41 all throughout the week...
17:42 and so, church didn't "save" me
17:44 but it was the relationship with Christ
17:45 that ultimately saved me.
17:47 Once I had that realization, it was...
17:48 and the Bible states...
17:50 "Raise up the child in the way he should go
17:51 and when he gets old... he won't depart from it. "
17:53 So, there were a lot of principles that my family
17:56 embedded in me, right, when I was younger
17:58 that when I got older,
18:00 I had that experience with Christ...
18:01 it all made sense and it came in the context of a relationship
18:04 with God and understanding that... you know,
18:07 "Wow! this is... this is who I missed out on all these years. "
18:11 Christina: How did that change you?
18:12 Lo-Ammi: It changed me for the...
18:14 I mean, it was funny with my mom always believed...
18:16 my pursuit of basketball was like my goal... right...
18:19 I wanted to go back to Puerto Rico
18:21 and play semi-professional basketball
18:23 and my mom said,
18:24 "You know, I see you as being
18:26 the next Doug Batchelor... Mark Finley... "
18:27 I'm like, "Okay, Mom, yeah, all right... "
18:28 and so, she used to pray radical prayers... like,
18:30 when I was rebellious...
18:32 "You have to break that boy's leg Lord, do it... "
18:33 and I'm like, "Lord, I need my legs... "
18:35 David: Or now, she'll do it...
18:37 Lo-Ammi: She'll do it... right... right...
18:39 "I need my legs Lord... " you know...
18:40 and anytime she prayed and I prayed,
18:42 she always won those prayers and so... eventually...
18:44 Jennifer: Wait a minute... she always won?
18:47 Her prayers always won?
18:49 Lo-Ammi: Yes, she always won. David: Did your legs break?
18:50 Lo-Ammi: No, I'm still good... my knees hurt a little bit
18:53 but they're still attached... but, you know,
18:55 but for overall... like her...
18:57 she would pray things out of my life and it would happen
19:00 and it was so frustrating
19:02 because eventually, what the Lord was doing was breaking me
19:05 and so, when I did finally get to a position
19:07 where I was ready to accept Christ,
19:09 she ultimately won that as well, you know,
19:13 and long story short...
19:14 I was able to share my testimony in Orlando...
19:16 in the city where I did all my dirt in...
19:18 and I was able to share my testimony at GYC
19:20 in front of thousands of people on 3ABN and...
19:22 Jennifer: Wait a minute, you skipped the part about
19:24 when you did give your heart to the Lord,
19:25 so when did that happen?
19:26 Lo-Ammi: Yes, so, prior to that was,
19:28 lot of rough patches in my life...
19:29 finances was dwindling...
19:31 the cars that I had were breaking down...
19:33 the "fame and the fortune" and everything that I was pursuing
19:37 was kind of diminishing and...
19:39 and so, it got me to a point when I was,
19:41 I was kind of broken... I was like...
19:44 all of these things that I identified my...
19:46 that identified with... my music... the alcohol...
19:48 that allowed me to have fun and be free and...
19:51 the smoking of marijuana and the selling of drugs
19:54 and all of these things that kind of made me a man, right,
19:57 I established myself...
19:59 I didn't really have to answer to anybody...
20:02 I was making it on my own...
20:03 those things were kind of being removed...
20:05 and so, I got a phone call from my sister
20:08 saying that I got sponsored to go to this event...
20:11 this GYC thing...
20:12 Jennifer: Who sponsored you?
20:14 Lo-Ammi: My mother... Jennifer: Hmmm... hmmm...
20:15 David: She was answering her own prayer...
20:16 Lo-Ammi: And she knew...
20:18 my sister knew that if my mother would have...
20:19 if I would have known it was my mother,
20:20 I wouldn't have gone... and so...
20:22 Jennifer: And what was the name of the event?
20:23 Lo-Ammi: GYC... Generation of Youth for Christ.
20:24 Jennifer: So it's the Youth Congress.
20:26 David: Which year... Which year did you go?
20:27 Lo-Ammi: It was 2009... 2009... transitioned to 2010...
20:30 and it's interesting... and now...
20:32 a lot of my friends who I've met now... within ministry,
20:36 it was around that time...
20:37 from that they all got converted as well,
20:39 and so, I lost a lot of worldly friends
20:41 but then, God replenished it with so many spiritual things...
20:43 I'm still friends with to this very day...
20:45 and I remember, when I shared my testimony,
20:48 it was a real moment where I'm exposing myself...
20:51 I'm being vulnerable to the world...
20:52 I'm in the City where I did all my dirt
20:54 and probably the biggest stage of my life
20:56 and I remember contacting my mother
20:58 the only thing she could say was like,
21:00 "And who told you how to... combine your tie with your suit,
21:03 you look good, boy... "
21:05 it wasn't like this,
21:07 "Oh, I'm so proud of you and I... "
21:09 it's almost like she had this self-confidence
21:11 in knowing that "The Lord is going to answer my prayer... "
21:13 Jennifer: So she never doubted it for a moment...
21:15 Lo-Ammi: Not one bit... not one bit... and...
21:18 Jennifer: Your parents are both gone right?
21:20 Lo-Ammi: They are gone... my dad did suffer from a heart attack
21:22 and then... my mother died from colon cancer
21:25 and so, one of the benefits of...
21:27 one of the blessings that I was able to...
21:29 we prayed for my dad... my dad wasn't...
21:31 we felt wasn't where he needed to be spiritually...
21:33 and we always labored for my father
21:35 especially... now we're all in a... more spiritual terms...
21:39 and so, right before my father passed away,
21:43 my mother... I was actually at a school
21:46 called: LIFE Lay School for Evangelism
21:48 four-month evangelism...
21:49 David: In Florida? Lo-Ammi: Yeah, Florida
21:51 and I received a phone call from my mother,
21:52 and my mom was so calm, she was telling me the story,
21:56 she was like, "You know how your father is?
21:57 he does... da... da... da... da... da...
21:59 and he passed away... and so, I'm in the... "
22:01 Lo-Ammi: I'm like, "What... what did you say?"
22:03 she said, "Dad passed away" and so, for the first time
22:06 I just talked to him not even a few days ago
22:08 and for the first time I'm so... I'm like, "Dad is gone!"
22:13 because you look at your parents as invincible...
22:17 especially... because he was much older
22:19 but he was young at heart and people loved him
22:22 and so... but one of the things that really...
22:24 really struck a chord that I knew
22:25 that the Lord was answering her prayer was that...
22:27 she's like... "But one of the things, Lo-Ammi
22:29 that I want you to remember is that...
22:30 I saw him praying
22:32 before he went to the ambulance, before he passed away...
22:34 what that prayer is... we don't know
22:35 but we know that...
22:37 I believe that was a prayer of repentance...
22:39 and you know what I'm saying
22:40 and then two years after that... my mom got diagnosed with cancer
22:43 and then... it progressed...
22:44 for that... it was a little harder
22:46 because you see, the life being taken away
22:48 the energy that she had and the...
22:50 for the first time, I remember,
22:52 I share this in my testimony
22:54 that we tried to bring her back from Puerto Rico
22:57 back to Orlando, and... but she...
23:00 her health could not allow her to get on the plane
23:03 and so my sister was like,
23:04 "You have to take the first flight down to Puerto Rico... "
23:06 and... I'm like... "All right... "
23:08 so, of course, as a young adult you have all of these questions,
23:13 you realize how rebellious you were,
23:15 how bad you were
23:17 and all the times I wished my mother was dead...
23:19 and all of these things and... and I just remembered...
23:21 yeah, just remember walking through the door,
23:23 I felt so guilty... so like... I just felt horrible...
23:27 and I remember opening that door
23:28 and my mom had... like, the biggest smile on her face,
23:31 and she was like, "Come here, give me a hug boy"
23:33 and it was like... this moment where
23:35 she always saw what I could be and not who I was...
23:38 Christina: Wow! David: Amen.
23:40 Lo-Ammi: And that, for me was something that I was...
23:42 even now... in my experience...
23:44 growing in my Christian experience...
23:47 I'm like, "Man, I'm on my own again...
23:48 but I have this assurance where...
23:50 though I lost my earthly mother... my earthly father...
23:53 I have a heavenly Father that kind of looks out for me... "
23:56 and I'm still working on that relationship
23:59 because I realize that the rebellious nature
24:01 is still not completely...
24:03 you know, when God tells me to do something...
24:05 I'm like, "No, I'll do it on my own... I have been doing it... "
24:06 and so, "My child can you listen to me and trust me?"
24:09 and so, my experience growing up...
24:11 allowed me to really see God for who He was
24:14 and it was through my parents.
24:15 Christina: And I want to point out something you said
24:17 because it sounds like,
24:18 instead of your mother shaming you,
24:19 she believed in you... and by her believing in you...
24:24 that belief was internalized
24:26 which then probably helped motivate you
24:29 to actually be a better person... incredible!
24:31 Lo-Ammi: It was funny because you always talk about...
24:33 I was always a talker... people know me... I was always
24:36 as people know me, they know I talk a lot...
24:38 I like to conversate and God utilized that to
24:41 now be able to have the privilege
24:43 of sharing His Word to others
24:44 impacting other people's lives.
24:45 Jennifer: So what do you do?
24:47 Lo-Ammi: I'm a full-time evangelist...
24:48 I work for SALT...
24:49 Jennifer: So you talk for a living.
24:51 Lo-Ammi: I do talk for a living
24:52 and the majority of people that I talk to are youth...
24:54 and what's more important is... Adventist Youth who...
24:57 who struggle with the same experience that I struggled with
25:01 who are gravitating to the world
25:03 and want to know what the world has to offer
25:05 and I come from a real experience...
25:07 I know that... what the Lord has...
25:09 what my parents taught me when I was younger...
25:13 are valuable principles
25:14 but at the same time, I'm honest in telling them
25:17 that there are things in the world that are enjoyable
25:19 but they're never going to fulfill you
25:21 like a relationship with God was...
25:23 I always looked at myself...
25:25 David: Passing pleasures of sin...
25:26 Lo-Ammi: Exactly... exactly...
25:27 and so, for me... I always wanted...
25:29 there was this nickname that
25:30 my friends jokingly always gave me...
25:32 oh... "The Prince of Orlando"
25:33 and the reason I was a prince was because a king has his queen
25:35 I never had that, right,
25:37 never was married or had a relationship
25:38 so it was like, "The Prince... "
25:39 every time I'd go downtown Orlando... everybody knew me
25:41 and now, the Lord is like...
25:43 Jennifer: And now you're feeding the homeless in the same place.
25:46 Lo-Ammi: Exactly... and all of the things...
25:48 all of the dirt that I was doing in the city of Orlando...
25:50 I'm undoing it now with the words of...
25:52 with the blessing of the talents that He has given me
25:55 but, most importantly, for me, I limited myself to Orlando...
25:58 now, all of a sudden God says,
26:00 "Well, let me expand your territory...
26:01 how about you travel here,
26:02 how about you go on 3ABN and share your testimony," right...
26:04 David: Amen!
26:05 Lo-Ammi: I limited myself in... in saying,
26:07 "Well, I just want to be the Prince of Orlando... "
26:08 and God says,
26:10 "Well, you... you're a child of the Prince of Kings...
26:12 and I want to use you for a greater territory. "
26:14 David: Earlier, you asked a question, you said,
26:16 "What can a parent do?" and he actually shared that...
26:19 a parent can pray...
26:20 and then he said something that was really powerful,
26:22 we need to look beyond our children's faults...
26:26 and treat them as what they're going to be
26:29 and not who they are.
26:30 Christina: Which is what Jesus does to us... right...
26:32 and that's how we are able to overcome...
26:34 is because Jesus in believes us and it's so empowering
26:37 but I'm wondering, emotionally... like,
26:40 I'm wondering, what would you say to maybe fathers out there
26:43 I'm going to pick on your dad a little bit...
26:45 to be able to build that emotional intimacy... that bond.
26:49 Lo-Ammi: Take time to listen, check to see how they're doing,
26:54 at times, you kind of gravitate to how I express love
26:58 but try to figure out how is the best way...
27:01 and what's the best way to receive that love,
27:02 what's the best way to communicate that love...
27:04 and for parents out there whose children are out in the world...
27:07 your prayers...
27:09 I'm a testimony to answered prayers...
27:11 so don't ever give up on your kids.
27:13 All: Amen... amen... amen...
27:15 Jennifer: We're told that "If anyone is in Christ,
27:17 he's a new creature:
27:18 old things are passed away;
27:20 behold, all things are become new. "
27:21 God doesn't see us as we are at our worst,
27:24 God sees us as who we will become...
27:26 in fact, who we are becoming in Christ...
27:29 God is taking the life of this young man
27:32 who could have been diagnosed
27:34 with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
27:36 or God forbid... Conduct Disorder
27:38 at some point in his life
27:39 but God transformed him... he was born again...
27:42 and he experienced a renewal of the Holy Ghost
27:45 and his life is transformed
27:47 and now instead of preaching the doctrine of darkness,
27:50 he is preaching the gospel of the Kingdom.
27:53 God is able to transform you,
27:54 in fact, He has already put the wheels in motion to do that.


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Revised 2017-10-16