Participants: Willie and Wilma Lee
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000028
00:31 Welcome to Marriage in God's Hands.
00:34 My name is Willie Lee and I'm your host, and our co-host,
00:39 of course, is my wife Wilma Lee.
00:43 Welcome, and today we're going to talk to you about
00:47 marriage, "The promise". And as we begin this day we
00:51 would like for you to join us in prayer.
00:55 Heavenly Father, we thank You for this opportunity,
00:58 and we thank You for this promise
01:00 that You've given us with marriage, and we ask that You
01:03 would join us here and now as we join our hands together.
01:09 And knowing, dear Lord, that You created marriage as You
01:14 created man and woman, we want to follow Your plan,
01:18 make it clear to us today, in Jesus' name, amen.
01:25 We welcome you back to Marriage in God's Hands so that we might
01:31 be able to share some more about the marvelous things that God
01:35 has planned for our marriages and for our families, and we
01:39 must know that a good marriage is a good foundation for
01:44 an excellent family. So let's pay attention to a few things,
01:48 I guess, as we roll along today and see what has happened
01:53 to marriage because marriage is not what it was
01:59 when God made it.
02:01 Yes, and I guess that we can rejoice because God doesn't make
02:06 a promise that He does not keep. So when we think about marriage,
02:11 the promise, we can look forward to what God has to say
02:14 - about marriage. - Well, if you have your Bibles
02:18 ready to turn to Genesis, the beginning of all things,
02:23 let's look at Genesis 3, and we're very familiar with going
02:29 through some of the issues that the marriage ran into because
02:34 God had given instructions in the garden, and man and woman,
02:38 Adam and Eve, were to spend their time with God and with
02:43 each other, and the 2 were not to be separated.
02:49 But something happened in the garden.
02:51 Yes, somehow or the other Adam and Eve got separated,
02:57 and with that, created some problems.
03:00 Oh? What kind of problems did it create?
03:03 Well, there was a third party introduced who wasn't supposed
03:08 - to be in the marriage. - Oh, well this leads us into
03:12 some discussions then that have some implications that marriage
03:17 between 2 people, with God in the center, is great, but when
03:21 someone else comes in between that relationship it begins
03:25 to distort God's plan for marriage immediately,
03:28 - doesn't it? - Immediately! And so when
03:30 you have a marriage that doesn't include God, and includes
03:37 somebody else, you have a problem.
03:40 Well, we can understand and appreciate that because many
03:42 things can come in between a man and a wife because they do come
03:46 - from families, don't they? - Definitely!
03:49 And those families have been an intricate part of your
03:53 relationship, my relationship, for years and then all of
03:56 a sudden God had said in chapter 2 that when you are
04:01 married you should leave mother and father and then cleave
04:06 to your spouse, and when that doesn't happen quite like that
04:12 usually some things begin to distort the marriage
04:15 - relationship. - And you notice God had a plan
04:18 and an order, you leave and then you cleave.
04:22 Ok, no cleaving before leaving.
04:25 Yes, and it doesn't always happen that way, in fact,
04:31 today's statistics say that more than 1 of every 3 children
04:36 is born to a never married mother.
04:39 Great day, that is quite a statistic, what was that
04:43 - number again? - 1 in every 3 children.
04:47 1 in every 3 children is not in a complete relationship of
04:53 - marriage - Exactly.
04:55 That can create quite a few problems, and we've seen
04:58 the kind of challenges that parents have with children
05:01 today when they don't have a spouse. And I heard someone
05:06 say, for instance, that they're the new poor when there is
05:10 a divorce, or when there is a separation, and there's not
05:13 a mother and a father leading that family, and with children
05:18 in it, there's poverty, there's a lot of things that are missing
05:22 - in that child's life. - Exactly, and you can't really
05:26 have healthy children unless you have a healthy family,
05:30 which was God's intent when He said "Don't cleave before"
05:35 - "you leave". - Yes, because He did say
05:38 that He wanted them to be fruitful and to multiply,
05:42 - not divide. - Exactly.
05:45 And division causes a problem, and that division, of course,
05:48 came from the evil one, from Lucifer, and as you read in
05:51 chapter 3 you will find that there is a very, very exciting,
05:57 but deadly encounter, that takes place. Whatever Satan brings
06:01 into the picture is usually exciting, so don't expect it
06:04 to be boring and dull when Satan makes his claim upon
06:09 the marriage, because he will do anything to divide,
06:13 and he can make it sound great, he can make it feel great,
06:16 and he will do his best to lure you into the possibility of
06:21 being without God, and being without your spouse in
06:25 - a marriage. - But I'm so glad that we serve
06:28 a God who has a promise, and that His promise is of such
06:33 that His promise is also exciting, and it is true
06:39 - and sure. - Well, they needed that promise
06:43 because almost immediately, not too long after the encounter
06:47 in the garden, what we see happening is that, as you
06:51 can imagine, God comes looking for His normal encounter
06:56 with Adam and Eve, the married couple, and this time He can't
07:01 find them, and He starts calling for them. And immediately their
07:07 response to Him was that they were naked. Now, what changed?
07:15 Weren't they naked before? You see, there's an unclothing
07:21 of your self worth and your values, and sin undresses
07:26 you in the presence of God and everyone, and undresses
07:30 the marriage relationship because almost immediately
07:33 when He talks to Adam, Adam wants to pin it on the woman,
07:37 he says "Well, this woman You gave me is part"
07:40 "of that encounter". All of a sudden this loving relationship
07:44 is distorted and begins to break down.
07:46 Yes, the woman who a chapter before, who was "wow", is now...
07:53 [makes negative face]. But the Scripture says they
07:56 were naked and ashamed, so sin brings shame and blame.
08:03 Yes it does, and that always creates a very, very difficult
08:08 moment for the family, for any couple, anything that you go
08:12 through where there's division or distortion of
08:15 that relationship in which people are not feeling good
08:19 about each other, or about their relationship,
08:21 you begin to feel ashamed, very self-conscious, and that's
08:25 something that sin brings into the life, and God is in
08:31 the picture, but at the same time things were not like they
08:36 used to be. And it might be that you are experiencing
08:39 a marriage that is not quite like it used to be, and we want
08:43 to assure you that God has a plan for that, and we're going
08:45 to discuss that in just a few moments.
08:49 You know that, unfortunately, in our society today nearly 45%
08:59 of the marriages end in divorce, so there may be a lot of
09:03 people who are looking today who are hurting, who are suffering,
09:08 who may be in that shame and blame position, but we are
09:12 so happy to share with you that God has a promise, God has
09:19 a solution for shame and blame.
09:22 - He didn't wait long, did He? - No, He didn't.
09:24 He didn't want to leave them hanging out there with that
09:26 - difficulty. - And I like the part that God
09:29 didn't wait for them to look for Him, He came looking,
09:35 He came calling, He knew where they were, but He came calling
09:41 - anyway. - That's unconditional love.
09:45 You must experience unconditional love from God.
09:49 We don't normally know how to provide unconditional love for
09:54 those within our spousal circle, our wife, our husband,
09:59 or sometimes not even our children, because we become
10:02 upset, we become embarrassed, we become ashamed, and we
10:06 want to separate ourselves from them, but God never separates
10:10 Himself from us, and this is something that we must begin
10:15 to understand, and through our faith in God, expect Him to do,
10:19 He's always waiting to make a difference for us.
10:21 And a lot of times we don't experience unconditional
10:24 love because we're hurting, and when you're hurting,
10:29 sometimes I've been in that position,
10:31 it's difficult to share unconditional love
10:35 when you're hurt and wounded. And because we serve a God
10:40 who understands us, He made us, after all He did form Adam and
10:44 Eve from the dust of the ground with His own hands, and breathed
10:49 into them life with His own breath. So He knows us better
10:55 than anybody else, He can then know how to share that love
11:00 and provide that love unconditionally because He made
11:04 us, and He understands us better than anybody else
11:08 - possibly could. - Well, it's too bad that Eve
11:12 didn't know that because she had to go through this experience
11:16 of having this little debate with God because when He
11:20 turned towards her her statement was to Him
11:25 "He tricked me, the serpents tricked me. I was tricked"
11:29 "into doing this, I didn't want to do it. "
11:32 But no matter how it happened God had His promise, and this
11:35 is what He said: "So the Lord said to the serpent, Because"
11:37 "you have done this you will be punished, you are singled"
11:40 "out from all the domestic and wild animals of the whole earth"
11:44 "to be cursed. " This is in Genesis 3:14.
11:49 And in Genesis 3:15 is the promise: "From now on"
11:56 "you and the woman will be enemies, and your offspring"
11:59 "and her offspring will be enemies. He will crush your"
12:02 "head and you will strike his heal. " What a promise!
12:08 God says he may trip you up for a while, but if you claim
12:12 the promise God says "I will take care of the one who"
12:16 "tricked you, and who got you into the dilemma of"
12:19 "brokenness, and ashamed, and feeling naked and exposed. "
12:26 God is taking care of the problem for us, and that's His
12:30 promise, but there's more to this promise that we're going
12:33 to talk about, but first of all, isn't it great the God gave
12:37 the promise, did not wait, and immediately after sin
12:40 assured man that He was there for Him.
12:43 Definitely, and you know it is true, women are afraid
12:46 - of snakes. [Hosts laugh] - Okay, that's true.
12:50 Well, we're going to have to be very much aware that Satan
12:54 - has got to be afraid of God. - Oh sure.
12:57 Because the Creator has now put in His word on him and said
13:02 "You're on going to get away with this", and I'm so glad that
13:05 God is ready to rescue the marriage, and to present
13:09 the marriage once again as a restored relationship to reflect
13:15 God, and the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost in unity.
13:20 I can't wait to get into the rest of this, how about you?
13:23 - I'm looking forward to it. - You make sure that you're
13:26 here right after this break.
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14:19 Welcome back to Marriage in God's Hands.
14:22 We've been discussing "the promise", marriage, the promise.
14:28 And as we were leaving the break we want you to know that we
14:36 are excited about not only what has happened, but what God will
14:40 do, because the experience that we've all had is brokenness,
14:45 we've all had some kind of distortion in our relationships,
14:48 in our marriages, that we've had to fight through, and with God's
14:52 help we've been able to come through. If you have not been
14:55 experiencing that it is because that is the result of sin
15:00 entering in. It's not your fault as a person that sin is here,
15:05 it's not your spouse's fault that sin is here.
15:09 A lot of times we want to blame each other for the problems
15:12 in our marriage, but I think we have to recognize that sin
15:16 increases, or as Paul says "it abounds", but grace much
15:20 - more abounds. - And I'm glad that with God's
15:23 promise He didn't promise all distress and pain, granted
15:32 women do bear children in pain...
15:34 And He said that, didn't He? Right here in the 16th verse.
15:38 Yeah, that's a part of the problem of sin, we'll have
15:42 to talk to Eve about that in the kingdom, I'll have to have a few
15:46 words with her about that, but He did tell Adam that he'd
15:50 have to sweat a bit to gain the rest of the labor.
15:56 Before all they had to do was tend the garden, he didn't
15:59 have to sweat, but you know, when you look over into
16:02 the Song of Solomon, which is also a part of the Bible,
16:07 not a whole lot of people like to read that, I don't know why,
16:10 it's always exciting to me. There's a courtship for you.
16:13 Alright, and there's 2 sides to this, and we have to know that
16:18 God has provided us through the promise with such great
16:23 opportunities to meet the challenges of sin,
16:27 and the recovery and the forgiveness that takes place
16:29 that God provides is what we really need to understand,
16:32 and if forgiveness has not happened in your relationships,
16:36 maybe you are to be a little bit more attentive to God's plan
16:39 because we need to understand that God wants to take care
16:44 of sin. It reached such a point, as a matter of fact,
16:48 within just a couple thousand years, and there was a great
16:53 flood, and part of the reason for the flood, it said, that sin
16:56 was multiplying, and that men and women were marrying
17:01 and giving in marriage. That means marrying, and divorcing,
17:03 and separating, and distortion had already taken hold in
17:07 the Antediluvian world to the point that marriage was
17:11 no longer being honored, that it was distorted, even as you have
17:14 mentioned, it's happening today.
17:16 Yeah, and when you think about it, 60% of children in the US
17:22 don't live with their own biological married parents.
17:27 - That's a lot. - That is a whole lot of
17:30 children who are experiencing pain as they grow.
17:36 And that causes a whole lot of distortions of personalities,
17:41 and temperaments, and difficulties for them just
17:43 becoming wholesome in their approach to marriage themselves,
17:49 or even as adults living in this world.
17:52 It's interesting to me when you talk to a lot of young adults
17:55 who say "I can't imagine being married because I don't know"
17:59 "anybody in my circle who's happily married".
18:03 In fact, I have heard some other young people say
18:07 "Well, I'm not sure I want to get married because"
18:10 "in my home... ", they experienced a lot of distortion,
18:14 there were a lot of arguments, and a lot of discussions that
18:17 were heated, anger, conflict, and the level that happens
18:22 in homes just creates distress for the children growing up
18:27 in the home. It is not a good thing for children to have
18:30 to experience that kind of distress because then they have
18:33 no hope for the future for their own relationships.
18:37 And I think that we need to realize that a lot of times
18:41 we're talking to Christian young people, so we need to go back
18:46 to talking about God's gift - God is love - and that in
18:51 Christian homes that has to be manifested in Christian
18:54 - marriages. - You know, what was so
18:57 marvelous about this, God started out after the flood,
19:02 there were only 8 people, but from what we can see in
19:06 the Word of God, as we look throughout the book of Genesis,
19:10 it started with 4 couples, Noah and his wife,
19:15 and their children and their spouses. So He created
19:20 a wholeness, the promise was already taking hold,
19:25 and the result of that promise is that God started again with
19:29 whole couples to create a whole marriage, and to create a good
19:33 foundation for the families after the flood.
19:36 And again with a promise "I do set My bow in the clouds".
19:41 That's right, God keeps His promises, and that's a wonderful
19:44 thing. Now, when Jesus came here, and we're going to talk
19:48 more about what happened after the flood with many of
19:51 the families of the promise, and that will probably happen
19:54 in the future, but if we look what happened when Jesus came.
19:59 He began His ministry at a wedding feast, showing how
20:06 much He cares about the relationship of marriage.
20:10 And even though He was sort of goaded into creating that
20:15 happy moment for that couple when the drink ran out
20:20 and there was no more to serve the guests, and it was His
20:23 mother who said "Jesus, please do this for the couple so that"
20:27 "their wedding celebration will not be spoiled. " God does not
20:32 want our celebrations of marriage to be spoiled, and He
20:36 will work miracles in our relationships to guarantee that
20:40 the promise takes hold, and that the evil one will not have his
20:45 way in bringing brokenness into our families.
20:48 Well, I like the fact that His first miracle was at a family
20:52 event because He was there because that was family.
20:56 I think that that's always significant, and that Jesus
20:59 came to this earth as a part of a family, because we often
21:05 forget that part that He was a member of a family, and that
21:10 families are important, and that that too is a part of
21:14 the promise that we are all connected as family.
21:19 And I like His promise because then He becomes the elder
21:24 - brother, not only Saviour. - Wow, you know, His plan was
21:30 very easy to see as Jesus taught on the earth, He brought
21:35 the promise in Himself. So it wasn't enough for Him
21:40 to just tell us what to do, but He appeared and He taught,
21:44 and He shared those important family occasions and encouraged
21:49 marriage. In fact, He said it may have been, as He talked
21:52 in Matthew, it may have been so back in the old days
21:56 where you could have a divorce and just get rid of your wife,
21:59 but He says "Not so when I come". When Jesus comes at
22:03 a house, we don't talk about divorce, we don't talk about
22:06 separation, we don't talk about maintaining the brokenness,
22:10 we talk about the promise being fulfilled in Christ in order
22:14 to maintain and build healthy, wholesome, spiritual
22:19 relationships with God, because that's the way He started it,
22:24 and we must talk about that spiritual component.
22:26 And I find it interesting that today if you turn on the TV,
22:32 if you read the newspaper, if you turn on anything,
22:36 everybody's talking about the marriage, and the family as
22:40 being the underpinnings of our society, of our communities,
22:44 everybody's talking about "What do we do to strengthen"
22:48 "marriages and families? " Because suddenly people are
22:53 realizing that if we don't get that right then we can't do
22:57 anything else, and it's back to God's Word, this is where He
23:02 started in Genesis, this is what He continues throughout
23:05 His Word, it's the marriage and the family that
23:09 strengthens and underpins everything else, and this is
23:13 what God said from the beginning, and His Word
23:16 continues to be true. He promises that "if you do it My"
23:21 "way, then you can be successful", and in the end when
23:27 you look at the back of the Book, He says "I'm coming for"
23:31 "My bride, the church", the promise.
23:34 Wow, that is exciting.
23:36 God wants to take whole families and whole marriages into His
23:41 kingdom, and even if your family, or marriage has been
23:44 broken or distorted, God does not leave you out.
23:48 If you are not married and watching this program,
23:51 God still speaks to single people because there is
23:54 wholeness and completion even in singleness, because in this
23:58 world not every time can a person find the right kind
24:03 of relationship to have a whole, or wholesome marriage.
24:08 So don't be discouraged just because yours happens to be
24:12 a single relationship. There's redemption both for
24:16 - singles and for couples. - And God says in Psalms
24:21 that He puts the lonely in families, so He intends that
24:26 among His people there is no one alone, but that they are
24:32 encompassed in the healthiness of families.
24:35 Well, God provides redemption, just as He did to Adam
24:39 and Eve, the promise was for redemption, redeeming love,
24:44 and that's what He wants marriages to be composed of:
24:46 redeeming love, and He wants to redeem you, He wants to redeem
24:51 your marriage and your family. And if you look into Matthew 20,
24:55 write these verses down, read them through, verses 26-28,
25:00 or Galatians 3:28, and also Ephesians 5:21-31.
25:10 You can see very clearly that God's plan for marriage is to
25:15 redeem the people in the marriage and to make
25:20 the marriage a place where redemption takes place,
25:25 because if you look into 1 Peter you'll see also where
25:29 He says, if you're willing to stay with a rough marriage,
25:32 if you stay committed, He says "I can actually allow you"
25:37 "to become the cause of the consecration of that marriage"
25:40 "and the consecration of your home". Don't give up
25:42 too easily, let God have His way in your marriage
25:46 - and in your life. - And the practical
25:49 application of that is just that living with somebody that's not
25:52 you every day means that you have to give and take,
25:58 you have to forgive and that you have to hang in there
26:03 because that's the only way that it works.
26:08 And God will bring healing to your marriage, to your
26:10 relationships as well. Why don't we pray now.
26:16 We know, dear Lord, how much You love us, and that Your
26:20 willing, and have already provided for redemption
26:24 in our homes, in our relationships, in our marriages.
26:29 We ask for You to come in in a powerful way and make
26:32 that difference for us now, and no matter what the problem
26:37 has been, dear Lord, we know that you have the solution and
26:40 will provide it to us according to Your promise, in Jesus' name
26:45 we pray, amen.
26:50 We thank you for the times you've spent with us.
26:53 We enjoy sharing God's promise with you about marriage,
26:57 and we know that if your marriage is in God's hands
27:00 there can be no better hands for you to be in because we know
27:04 that God's love is boundless, it's exhaustless, it is more
27:09 than you can ask or imagine. And when God's love spreads
27:14 in your heart it can't help but touch everything and everyone
27:18 with whom you come in contact. Knowing that, we look forward
27:22 to coming again to share God's love with you again, and to know
27:27 that God's love and His joy will be in your heart and your home.
27:33 Love and marriage in God's hand is what we hope to share
27:37 with you another time. We share again that the time
27:41 we'll be with you, and God's joy will abound in your love
27:44 and home, thank you.