Marriage in God's Hands

Please Understand Me

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Tom Waters, Alane Waters


Series Code: MGH

Program Code: MGH000015

00:34 Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart!
00:36 We're Tom & Alane Waters with Restoration International
00:40 And we want you
00:42 to have a marriage that's heart to heart too!
00:45 So, we hope you have your paper and pencil
00:47 because we're gonna be talking about
00:49 the subject: "Please understand me!"
00:51 something we all long for.
00:53 Oh, you like to be understood?
00:55 Oh, always!
00:57 I do too!
00:58 And I think
00:59 You like to be understood as well.
01:01 And that's what we're gonna talk about today
01:02 because when we say:
01:04 "Please understand me!"
01:05 that's a heart cry.
01:06 And it's un honest heart cry.
01:08 We need to be understood.
01:10 The problem is
01:11 if I wanna be understood
01:13 and I'm in the "me focus",
01:15 and you heard us talk about this before,
01:17 if I'm in the self focus,
01:19 just what my perspective is
01:22 then I'm not listening very good.
01:23 And if I'm in the "me focus"
01:25 and you're in the "me focus"
01:28 - And I wanna be understood
01:29 and I really wanna be right.
01:31 'Cause if I didn't think I was right
01:32 I wouldn't bother to say it.
01:34 Oh, so, you not only wanna be
01:35 understood, you wanna be right!
01:37 - Don't you? - Oh yes!
01:38 I like to be right too!
01:40 And so, if we're in the "me focus"
01:43 and we wanna be understood
01:44 and we wanna be right,
01:45 communication doesn't do very well.
01:48 If we're in the "us focus"
01:50 and I wanna be understood
01:52 then I also understand that you wanna be understood.
01:56 And if I wanna be right
01:57 I know you wanna be right.
01:59 And if we're both in the "us focus"
02:01 then we can have some good communication.
02:05 And we can really understand each other.
02:07 That's right!
02:08 It nurtures the communication
02:10 instead of breaking it down.
02:12 Yes!
02:13 And when we're in the "me focus"
02:15 it leads to irritation, frustration, hurt,
02:19 even cold wars,
02:21 fears. All kind of responses happen
02:23 when it's in the "me focus".
02:24 But when we're in the "us focus"
02:26 and that's a choice that I have to make,
02:28 to surrender my heart
02:30 to let God change my perspective,
02:32 to really understand you,
02:34 and it's something you can do.
02:36 But who ever chooses to do it first
02:37 that's the first miracle that begins to happen
02:39 in communication.
02:40 That's right!
02:41 You know, we often hear of the Golden Rule.
02:45 And it's a principle from
02:49 our Sure Foundation.
02:51 We talked about our Sure Foundation
02:53 and this has so many vital principles
02:57 to communication.
02:59 Matthew 7:12 says:
03:01 "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,
03:04 do ye even so to them. "
03:07 That's the Golden Rule!
03:09 You know, whatever I'd like somebody to do to me
03:12 if I really
03:13 want you to listen to me
03:16 then what Jesus is saying here is
03:18 then I ought to really want to listen to you.
03:22 It's very simple!
03:23 If we're in the "us focus",
03:25 and the "us focus" only happens
03:26 if we go to the Author of this Word,
03:30 the Author of our Sure Foundation,
03:31 He becomes the Author of really understanding us.
03:35 And then we can understand each other.
03:37 And that's a nice thing
03:38 is that God always understands us
03:40 and He always knows what our real needs are.
03:42 And so, as we're willing to cooperate with Him
03:46 we have a heart to understand the other person.
03:48 That's right!
03:50 And you know, that's been something
03:52 that you have communicated to me
03:54 several times in our marriage,
03:57 that being understood
04:00 is more important
04:02 than even being right.
04:04 You remember that? - Oh yes!
04:05 I've said it many times.
04:07 Because if I really have a heart to understand you
04:10 and You know that I'm understanding you
04:13 then when we come to the end of that conversation,
04:16 that situation
04:18 then if you really understood
04:20 it makes it easier
04:22 if I don't necessarily agree.
04:24 But if I don't really understand you,
04:27 if you don't really feel understood
04:29 then where does that leave you?
04:33 Tempted to come in the "me focus".
04:35 That's right!
04:37 Tempted to be disappointed with,
04:38 or discouraged, or not accepting a poor communication.
04:43 Because I don't feel like I'm understood.
04:44 That's right!
04:46 And you were talking just a moment ago
04:48 about the first part of the miracle
04:50 being willing to surrender.
04:52 When I'm really willing to surrender
04:55 and choose to receive the Power of Jesus Christ
04:57 it's only then that I'm gonna really
05:00 be willing to understand you.
05:02 And so, when I've stepped in to that surrender,
05:04 when I've chosen that surrender
05:06 that's the first part of a real miracle,
05:09 in modern times.
05:11 That's right! And it also encourages me
05:13 in that same thing,
05:15 that I can accept that,
05:16 and I find that those feelings that are there
05:19 they just kind of start to dissipate,
05:21 they just, just like a storm that's being calmed inside.
05:24 And I really have a heart to understand
05:27 and ears to hear
05:28 and again it's not so much
05:30 that you agree with me or that I agree with you
05:33 but that we understand each other.
05:35 That's right! And this is something that
05:38 I think all couples
05:40 face, deal with.
05:43 One of the things that we experienced in
05:45 in our early marriage,
05:47 especially,
05:48 were some things that we just couldn't seem
05:51 to talk about.
05:53 Now, it wasn't that we couldn't verbally talk bout them.
05:56 But it seemed like because we were not
05:59 in this "us focus",
06:00 where we're really thinking and understanding each other
06:03 and really being surrendered,
06:05 one of the things that happened
06:07 was that when a certain subject would be brought up
06:12 we just kind of wean our eye.
06:15 And we didn't do well in that communication.
06:18 And so, we began to shy away from certain things
06:21 because we didn't liked where it took us.
06:23 We didn't like the fruit of it.
06:25 And at that time in our marriage we just weren't quite ready
06:29 to move out or to understand
06:32 that we needed to move out of that
06:34 "me focus" into the "us focus".
06:36 We were so busy trying to
06:39 get my point across
06:40 to you to get your point across
06:42 that it was difficult in some of those delicate areas.
06:45 And so, we started side stepping them.
06:49 That really isn't effective communication.
06:51 No! And it didn't really resolve the issues either.
06:54 We still had the same issues,
06:56 but they actually were growing kind of underneath things.
06:59 That's right!
07:00 And then when the subject would come up again
07:02 it would come up with greater force and intensity
07:05 and we would be a little stronger toward each other.
07:08 But we didn't find a solution. We didn't find a resolve.
07:11 All we found was it was more difficult
07:13 to talk about.
07:15 So we tried to stuff it away again
07:16 and move on to something more comfortable.
07:19 And, you know, what will happen
07:21 if that becomes the pattern in the marriage
07:25 is that more and more things get stuffed and put away.
07:27 And less and less things get really honestly dealt with.
07:30 - That's right!
07:31 - And then communication gets more deteriorated and
07:35 the walls build
07:36 and separation becomes greater.
07:38 That's right! And so, there's less and less
07:41 real understanding.
07:43 And we've seen this in many couples
07:45 that we counseled with.
07:46 There's less and less real
07:49 understanding happening
07:50 and there's more and more superficial,
07:53 we move more into the superficial conversation
07:55 more into the "Ok, did you pay the bills?"
07:58 "Did you get Susie to her lesson on time?"
07:59 That kind of stuff.
08:01 It's still communicating, but
08:03 it's not an understanding communication.
08:06 And so, we began to recognize this
08:10 and we knew that we needed to do something about it
08:14 So, we decided to do something about it.
08:16 That's right!
08:17 Because we really cared about each other
08:18 and we really cared about our marriage
08:20 and we didn't want this to rake us down.
08:22 And again I really appreciate your leadership in this.
08:24 Because, you said to me: "Honey
08:26 we need to make a commitment
08:28 that we will not let these things go undone. "
08:31 That's right!
08:34 And that commitment
08:36 has been a powerful commitment.
08:38 And they've heard us mention
08:41 James 1:19.
08:44 The reason why we have referred to this particular,
08:48 for those of you that have tuned in and
08:51 been watching the program
08:53 James 1:19 is such a powerful
08:57 text of commitment
08:58 when it's brought in to the personal life.
09:01 And I remember when we made this commitment
09:04 that we were going to, by God's Grace
09:07 really begin to be swift to hear one another.
09:12 And you know the other part of this, honey,
09:14 that was very important is
09:15 in that James 1:19 "swift to hear, slow to speak,
09:19 slow to wrath" the other aspect of that is that
09:22 when we are swift to hear
09:26 we're not just swift to hear each other.
09:28 We're also swift to hear what's saith my Lord
09:32 concerning this matter.
09:33 Because
09:34 if you think about it friends
09:36 one of the things that happens
09:38 when a situation arises is that we tend to wanna go
09:41 to that first impulse
09:44 and say that first thought.
09:46 And if we will pause
09:48 and we will be swift to hear
09:51 the Spirit speak to our hearts
09:54 what saith my Lord concerning the matter?
09:56 You know, the Bible says: "You shall hear a word behind you
09:59 saying: This is the way,
10:01 walk ye in it"
10:02 That's not an audible voice! That's the Spirit of the Lord
10:05 impressing or prompting our heart,
10:07 working through our conscience
10:10 to give us a better way
10:12 to move forward.
10:13 And so, for us
10:14 that commitment
10:16 was not just to be
10:18 swift to hear
10:20 you or you swift to hear me
10:22 but it was a commitment that we made between us
10:24 and the Lord as well
10:26 that we were going to listen to
10:28 what He would have us to say.
10:30 Which would also then give us something better
10:34 to respond back and to give us
10:36 an understanding of what the other person was saying.
10:41 So, that mixed with
10:42 "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
10:44 made a wonderful combination - Powerful!
10:47 to help us in communication,
10:49 that we could really learn how to understand each other.
10:51 And I can say today
10:53 that we have a very good understanding of each other.
10:55 That's right!
10:56 You know, there's nothing that separates us!
10:57 - Yes! - And that's the exciting thing.
10:59 It's beautiful, but
11:01 do you remember what happened
11:03 not too long after we made this commitment?
11:05 Oh yes!
11:07 I wanna encourage you
11:09 as you listen and as you watch this program that
11:12 some of the things that
11:14 that you make a commitment to
11:16 don't think that it's just gonna
11:18 be wonderful and there's not gonna be any test
11:21 and things are just gonna
11:23 magically go
11:26 perfectly there after.
11:27 You know, when we make any commitment
11:29 that is worth being a commitment
11:31 there is going to be a proving, a testing.
11:35 And so, as we made this commitment
11:37 to be swift to hear
11:38 the Lord and one another
11:40 and as we entered in to that
11:43 to really take that Golden Rule
11:46 to do unto others as we would have others to do unto us,
11:49 to really do for you what I would wish for you to do to me.
11:54 Well I can remember
11:55 one evening
11:57 that we were just having a beautiful conversation together
12:00 everything was, I mean it couldn't have been sweeter,
12:03 and we were just talking along
12:05 and I don't know what happened,
12:07 I really don't know what happened.
12:09 But we were just talking along there
12:11 and suddenly
12:13 we became aware
12:15 that we had gotten on to one of those
12:17 very delicate subjects.
12:20 Something that had been hidden in the closet for a while.
12:21 That we didn't even remember it was there.
12:24 - Exactly! - It just came up!
12:25 It's not the one that I would've chosen
12:28 to test the commitment.
12:30 And I tell you, when that came in to the conversation,
12:34 did you feel the awkwardness?
12:36 Yes!
12:37 I felt the desire like maybe it's been too nice
12:40 maybe we just ought to
12:42 open the closet door and put it back in for a while,
12:44 you know?
12:45 - Can we rewind this - Exactly
12:47 this conversation and keep it going real nice?
12:49 Because where did this thing come from?
12:50 Exactly.
12:51 And I tell you, I felt
12:55 I felt anxiety come inside of me.
12:57 I felt self wanna rise up inside of me.
13:01 We want you to stay tuned!
13:03 We're gonna take a brake right now,
13:05 and we want you to stay tuned to find out
13:09 what the Lord did in this big test
13:12 that we faced.
13:13 Stay with us!
13:19 There are many "How to?" books available,
13:22 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple:
13:25 how you can "Build a Better Marriage".
13:28 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given in a
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13:37 and everyone in-between.
13:39 Simply call or write for your free copy of
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13:51 Welcome back! Where we've been talking about
13:53 how desperately each one of us wants to be understood.
13:59 And we found ourselves,
14:01 that night,
14:02 almost unconsciously back in one of those situations
14:07 that no one likes to be in.
14:09 And I want you to think with me for a moment,
14:11 you can probably experience, you've been in it
14:15 if you've been in a marriage
14:16 a marriage that's really honestly
14:19 seeking to have better communication,
14:21 you know what it's like when these things come up.
14:24 There are old wraths that we can get ourselves into
14:27 in how we respond to these things.
14:29 And I tell you those feelings were coming up
14:32 in me and I suppose they were coming up in you.
14:35 Oh yes! All the past came very present to mind at that moment.
14:39 And I, I just
14:43 I was looking for a way out of it.
14:45 And then I remembered the commitment.
14:50 Did you remember the commitment?
14:52 Actually I hadn't! My mind was thinking of
14:54 "How am I gonna get out of this one?"
14:57 It's so beautiful, because the Lord wants
14:59 to bring this commitment to us.
15:01 He wants to bring it back.
15:03 So it's not important that both of us remembered.
15:06 That's right!
15:07 It only takes one who remembers
15:09 and then takes the lead in that.
15:11 Yes!
15:12 And fortunately, you know, when
15:14 that happened that night
15:16 and when that little, that still small voice
15:18 brought that prompting
15:20 and reminded me of the commitment
15:23 I wanted to move forward.
15:24 I can't say I was excited about it!
15:27 It doesn't feel exciting when you're in that!
15:29 Because you only have the past to refer to
15:31 and you thought:
15:33 "Oh, these things have gone wrong, so many times
15:35 and we haven't been able to talk about this"
15:39 But that night
15:41 we moved forward
15:43 in our commitment.
15:45 And I remember
15:46 thinking:
15:48 "Lord,
15:49 what do You me to do?"
15:52 "What do You want me to do?"
15:55 And that's a question that we really need to be asking
15:58 the Lord in these situations.
16:00 It's too easy to do what I wanna do.
16:01 It's too easy to do that reaction
16:03 kind of thing.
16:04 "Lord what do You want me to do?"
16:06 And the thought that came to me,
16:09 it's not my thought,
16:10 it wouldn't been where I would have gone,
16:12 but the thought that came to me is
16:15 "Ask your wife:
16:18 Where your problem is?"
16:22 Can you imagine that?
16:24 No! I couldn't at that time!
16:26 - And I did! - I can now though.
16:27 I did, I cooperated in that situation,
16:30 I asked the Lord
16:34 what did He wanted me to do.
16:35 And now He's telling me.
16:37 No audible voice. He's
16:39 prompting me with the thought:
16:40 "Ask your wife... "
16:41 And so,
16:43 when I got that little prompting
16:45 I also got a little thought that came along with it.
16:47 It was very comforting.
16:50 this is the thought that came to me:
16:52 "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. "
16:55 This is the God that we serve! It's the same God that
16:59 worked miracles in the children of Israel lives
17:02 crossing the Desert. It's the same God
17:04 that raised the dead,
17:06 healed the sick.
17:07 He wants to do this in our marriages
17:09 and the thought came to me
17:10 "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. "
17:14 And that gave me courage
17:15 and so I turned to my wife
17:17 And I said to you:
17:19 "So, honey?
17:20 What is it that I do
17:21 in these situations?"
17:23 Do you remember that?
17:24 Oh yes!
17:25 And I was in shock when you asked me that question
17:27 because part of the problem
17:30 was that I had been trying to get you to
17:32 know what your problem was.
17:35 And you just couldn't see it.
17:36 And not only could you not see it but
17:38 you really didn't wanna hear it!
17:40 And we just always got broken down.
17:42 And I know you were trying to do the same thing to me.
17:44 You were trying to help me to see
17:46 where I had a problem
17:48 and I just couldn't see it!
17:50 And so, that's why we kind of
17:52 "Ok! Let's leave this one alone!"
17:53 "Let's leave that one alone!"
17:55 And so, when you said that to me, that night,
17:59 I was very shocked!
18:01 But I stepped forward with the opportunity.
18:05 And I said: "Well honey
18:07 there are three things. "
18:08 Oh! And that, when you said it,
18:10 and you said it about that fast,
18:12 I thought:
18:14 "Oh. Three things!
18:16 It's like you've got it already on the tip of your tongue"
18:18 That part came back too.
18:22 And you know, when you said that,
18:24 and I'm just being very honest with you folks
18:27 in how that struck me when she said:
18:30 "Well, there are three things!"
18:32 It's like I just felt
18:33 the self wanna rise up in me like a flood.
18:38 And this is the thought that the Lord brought to me:
18:41 "Be still!
18:43 And know that I am God!"
18:46 Isn't that beautiful?
18:47 It is very beautiful!
18:48 That's the God that we serve!
18:50 He is a living Savior!
18:52 Jesus wants to save us from ourselves!
18:55 And when those thoughts
18:57 and that self was coming up inside of me
19:00 the Lord called to my heart and said: "Be still!
19:03 and know that I am God!"
19:04 You know, what that said to me in that instant?
19:07 God is really God!
19:09 And if I will stay surrendered to Him
19:12 He can really work in me,
19:15 that miracle that can keep my tongue.
19:17 I don't have to be overwhelmed by this.
19:19 And so, you continued on.
19:23 "Number one.
19:26 Number one.
19:27 And I began to share with you.
19:29 I have to say that
19:31 I wasn't: "Oh good! This is my chance!"
19:34 I was coming into the conversation with
19:38 you know, attentiveness:
19:39 "Is he really want to hear what I have to say?"
19:42 Is this for real? in other words.
19:43 - And I'm testing. - Yes! You were testing.
19:44 I was testing the water.
19:45 "Number one:
19:46 literally the waters. "
19:48 And when you got to number two I had another whole
19:52 battle. You know I'll tell you what I wanted to do!
19:54 I wanted to say: "But!... "
19:55 "But!"
19:56 You know how that feels?
20:00 Yes!
20:02 And so many times in our previous situations
20:05 that's exactly what I'd say!
20:06 "But!.. "
20:08 "You don't understand!
20:09 Exactly!
20:10 "But"'s always go with "don't understand me!"
20:13 "That's not what I meant!"
20:16 But you know the Lord called to me again
20:19 and He reminded me of that verse
20:22 that we based our commitment on.
20:24 "to be swift to hear
20:26 and slow to speak
20:28 and slow to wrath"
20:29 And so I didn't say: "But!"
20:32 I let that die with self
20:34 in that same moment.
20:36 And then you continued on.
20:38 So I got passed number two.
20:40 Were you pretty surprised at this point?
20:42 Yes I really was!
20:43 'Cause I was really listening!
20:44 You were listening and you were hearing!
20:46 And I was understanding!
20:47 And you were understanding!
20:48 And you would, what we talked about in the last program,
20:51 you would actually ask me back:
20:53 "Is this what you're saying?"
20:55 And it was very clear that you understood me!
20:57 And that was an encouragement to me.
20:59 And then I said:
21:01 "Number three. "
21:03 And do you remember
21:04 that when you started sharing number three
21:08 that I had complete
21:10 rest in the Lord?
21:13 Do you remember that?
21:14 Oh yes!
21:15 Could you tell?
21:16 Yes! I mean, your physical demean it was
21:19 relaxed. It was
21:21 it was just: "Ok! I'm ready for it!"
21:23 I mean, I had surrendered in those other two situations
21:27 and I know you saw the
21:29 the countenance, you saw the struggle
21:31 but you saw me responding and surrendering
21:33 to the Lord. Was that an encouragement to you?
21:35 It was! Because it was a choice, a decision,
21:37 a principle, not by feeling.
21:39 The feelings on the exterior were different,
21:42 and what I heard you doing.
21:43 But as you spoke those, you know, as you said:
21:46 "Ok, number two"
21:48 I could see you get calm again
21:50 - Yes!
21:51 you know, in your countenance, in your body language.
21:54 And the third time
21:56 there was no lift, it was no lift inside of you.
22:00 Yes. The way I experienced it especially the first time,
22:02 the way that I could describe it to you folks
22:05 here,
22:07 is that it was like
22:09 the see raging inside of me.
22:12 And because of past habits and the past way of responding
22:15 I wanted to just... but...
22:19 the Power of the Gospel
22:21 is a life changing power!
22:24 When we surrender ourselves to Jesus Christ
22:26 this is the good news of the Gospel.
22:28 Is that He can keep us to the outermost
22:31 if we'll come to Him by faith.
22:32 And I was exercising faith.
22:34 And I tell you, it felt so good!
22:36 Didn't it feel good that night? To work and pass this?
22:39 It was! And what happened was that
22:43 not only did you understand me
22:45 but after the third one, in that moment of
22:47 reflection time that you had,
22:49 - Yes.
22:50 you said: "Honey
22:51 I see it! I see my problem!"
22:54 Could you believe it?
22:56 No!
22:57 But yes I could! I mean
23:00 I could see
23:01 that you really could understand and that you accepted it,
23:04 but it's not what I first expected.
23:06 Yes!
23:07 But I saw that miracle happen right before my eyes.
23:10 And you said:
23:11 "You're right!
23:13 I do this!
23:14 And number two you're right!
23:16 I have had this!
23:17 Number three.. "
23:19 And you went down: one two, three.
23:20 That's right: It showed I was really listening didn't it?
23:22 You were really listening and
23:24 you know, at that point
23:25 I wasn't trying to get you to agree with me.
23:26 I was just trying to have you to understand me.
23:29 - Yes. - And in that
23:30 understanding of me
23:32 you saw my perspective
23:33 and you agreed with me.
23:34 Yes!
23:35 And then you turned to me
23:37 or than I said to you I should say,
23:39 I looked at you and I said:
23:41 "Honey,
23:42 tell me what it is in me?"
23:46 And that
23:47 was the moment I've been waiting for
23:49 for a long time!
23:53 And it's interesting, do you know what happened in that?
23:55 The
23:57 it's amazing to me how God works, but in that instant
24:00 here I have my opportunity
24:02 but I was so rested in the Lord,
24:04 I was so excited
24:06 about how God had worked in my own heart
24:09 and the fact that I saw it.
24:11 I saw areas that I was blinding, areas that I had excused
24:15 areas that I had fought over,
24:17 and the Lord opened my heart
24:19 to you, that night.
24:24 I lost all my desire
24:26 to tell you
24:28 what I have been trying to tell you
24:30 in this same conversation in the past.
24:32 Because before it was me trying to get you to see.
24:34 And agree.
24:36 And you know, it was so touching about that
24:39 is that in due time we did have that
24:43 follow up conversation.
24:45 But it was nothing to mar the beauty of this experience.
24:48 In fact that's how you responded to me.
24:49 That's right!
24:50 You said: "Honey
24:52 this has been so beautiful
24:53 tonight. " - Yes.
24:55 "I don't wanna do anything that will risk
24:57 damaging what has happened in our home tonight.
25:00 What's happened in our lives"
25:02 And, you know, you said:
25:04 "I don't wanna say anything. "
25:06 "I just, I understand what you say
25:08 I agree with what you say,
25:10 and I will make the changes. "
25:13 And that was powerful to me!
25:15 Very powerful! - It was powerful to me too.
25:17 - For both of us! - I can't take much credit for
25:19 other then cooperating with the Lord.
25:20 And that's why it's so important
25:22 that early morning time,
25:24 or whatever time, whatever time of day
25:26 you spend with God and the Word
25:28 He brings His Word back to you when we need it.
25:31 He brings it back. Just like in this situation
25:33 those verses came
25:34 as encouragements, as promises,
25:37 as strength to face a difficult area
25:40 and find victory working through it.
25:43 In our earlier program we had talked about
25:47 the seven areas of effective communication.
25:50 Those have been so powerful in our own marriage
25:53 to have a committed regular time for communication.
25:56 And that communication is really listening
25:58 with the desire to understand.
26:02 And then to understand the other person's perspective.
26:05 It doesn't mean we have to agree
26:06 but to understand their perspective.
26:08 And to communicate in the positive,
26:10 look for a better way to say it.
26:12 That's right! It's nice to be appreciated
26:15 and have communication that's that way.
26:17 And to be sensitive to the nonverbal communication.
26:20 Because that's happening all the time,
26:22 rather we like it or not.
26:24 So if we can be aware of that
26:25 and how it affects.
26:27 And to stay on the topic.
26:29 It's important that we stay on the topic
26:30 and not be sidetracked with things in the past.
26:34 And to be really honest with one another.
26:36 That's important.
26:37 Anything else dear?
26:38 Well for "Please understand me!"
26:40 I think we need to ad tenderness.
26:42 That's our challenge to you this time
26:45 is to take this earlier communication tools
26:47 and now ad tenderness with that
26:50 to really understand your spouse.
26:52 That's right! And if we put that with being swift to hear
26:55 swift to hear the Spirit
26:57 and then to hear one another
26:59 that tenderness will help us
27:01 to really understand one another.
27:04 I think it would be nice right now
27:05 that we'd ask the Lord to bless our understanding.
27:08 Father in Heaven
27:10 we need understanding hearts,
27:14 heavenly beautiful love
27:16 that only You can put in our hearts.
27:18 And we pray that as we try
27:19 to understand one another and as we seek
27:22 Your wisdom to do it, that You will bless us
27:24 to that end. Through Jesus Christ we pray.
27:26 Amen!
27:29 And we hope you'll join us
27:31 next time! Because we're gonna be talking about
27:33 something that's very important
27:35 and very impactive in communication,
27:37 and It's called communication breakers.
27:39 And we want you to be here with us
27:41 so we can have a marriage heart to heart
27:43 with the Lord.


Revised 2014-12-17