Marriage in God's Hands

Effective Communication

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Tom Waters, Alane Waters


Series Code: MGH

Program Code: MGH000014

00:33 Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart!
00:35 We're Tom and Alane Waters with Restoration International
00:39 And we're excited about our topic today!
00:42 It's one of those topics that's going to make a real
00:44 difference in your marriage
00:46 if you're willing to take hold of the principles.
00:49 Today we are going to talk about seven keys
00:52 to effective communication.
00:53 So we hope we hope you have your paper and pencil
00:55 ready to start.
00:57 Effective communication has made a huge difference
01:00 in our marriage.
01:01 It has!
01:02 And you know, one of the deadliest
01:05 things in marriage
01:07 is poor communication.
01:09 It's really like a venom that many marriages
01:13 get struck by that viper.
01:14 It's like... it's a poison
01:16 and the more of that poison
01:19 of poor communication
01:21 that a marriage experiences
01:23 the more separation is caused. And...
01:27 than we can't talk about finances, we can talk about
01:30 the children, we can't talk about the real needs
01:33 in a marriage. And as that separation
01:35 and that poor communication continues
01:37 it's really one of the things that
01:39 begins to lead
01:41 in the path of divorce.
01:43 That's right! Because misunderstandings happen
01:45 hurt feelings develop, irritation,
01:47 even bitterness and resentment.
01:49 All because the communication is not good.
01:51 That's right! I remember
01:53 one evening, it wasn't
01:54 too far into our marriage.
01:56 I came home from a long day at work,
01:59 one of those hard days,
02:02 and I had so much to do when I got home
02:05 I really didn't have time to communicate with you.
02:07 And I didn't really feel like communicating,
02:09 I just felt like being to myself and
02:13 you remember what happened that day.
02:15 Oh yes!
02:17 I always like you to talk but,
02:18 I gave you your space so you could do
02:20 what you needed to do, and kind of unwind for the day.
02:23 And then the phone rang.
02:25 And
02:26 - I answered it! - Yes!
02:27 It was kind of a memorable situation.
02:29 Because you were too busy.
02:32 And so, the phone rang and
02:34 it was one of my buddies.
02:37 And you saw a change in me
02:39 when I got on the phone.
02:41 Oh, you came alive!
02:43 That phone conversation just brought you alive.
02:45 This tired man that
02:47 had too much on his mind and
02:50 life was too stressful
02:52 and I came alive!
02:54 So, I ended up talking for thirty minutes
02:58 on the phone that day.
02:59 And I know you remember that.
03:01 Yes. Because when you got down I said:
03:03 "Who was it?!"
03:04 Yes. And I shared it with you and do you remember
03:06 the famous question that you asked me?
03:08 Yes! "What did you talk about?"
03:11 And do you remember the famous answer?
03:13 Yes!
03:15 I turned to my wife very flippantly.
03:18 Now, I've just spent thirty minutes
03:20 I don't really have time to talk to my wife
03:22 when I come home from work this particular day,
03:24 I've got too much to do, I'm too busy.
03:27 Now here's an unscheduled phone call from
03:29 one of my friends
03:32 and now I relax and I spend thirty minutes on the phone
03:35 laughing, enjoying conversation
03:39 and my dear wife
03:40 asks me what we talked about.
03:44 And my response was:
03:47 "Oh, nothing."
03:50 That wasn't a very pleasant response for you! Was it?
03:53 No! Because it told me that
03:54 I really wasn't as important as your friend was.
03:57 And I was just interested in knowing what you talked about.
04:00 Because you seemed so happy and enjoying it so much,
04:03 'course I wanted to see what it is.
04:04 Maybe I can do some of that too, you know?
04:06 And so, really you weren't looking
04:08 for a full blown description
04:10 that would've taking me another half an hour
04:12 in my busy schedule.
04:13 That's right!
04:15 You were just wanting a little overview.
04:17 And, you know, I'm afraid that
04:19 that is what's happened too many times in marriages,
04:23 that kind of scenario,
04:24 where we've got time for everybody else
04:28 but somehow we just don't seem to have time
04:30 for that vital communication, that effective communication
04:34 that we need for a marriage heart to heart.
04:37 I think about every couple
04:38 has experienced that. - That's right!
04:40 and to whatever degree,
04:41 if it's something that happens on a rare occasion
04:44 it's no problem.
04:45 But if something that's happening daily
04:47 it is a problem.
04:48 - Yes! It is! - That marriage is in trouble.
04:50 It begins to build barriers.
04:52 And I think it's interesting
04:55 Hebrews 13:16:
04:57 gives us a very important clue
05:01 about how important communication is.
05:03 It says there: "To communicate
05:06 forget not: for with such sacrifices
05:12 God is well pleased."
05:14 Now, that's very interesting.
05:15 That word "sacrifices" I wanna underscore that for a minute.
05:19 Because that tells me
05:22 that God understands this problem
05:24 that happens in many marriages.
05:26 But He also understands
05:28 that we can't forget how important it is to communicate.
05:32 Because if we're willing to communicate
05:35 and if we don't forget to communicate
05:37 or don't push it off
05:39 and we continue to communicate
05:41 God is gonna be very well pleased.
05:44 And we've come to find out that
05:46 we are very well pleased.
05:48 That's right because God's pleased because
05:50 we are a happy couple.
05:51 - That's right!
05:52 We have harmony and unity
05:53 because our communication is good.
05:55 So we need to look at these seven points
05:57 of good communication, of effective communication
06:00 in our homes.
06:01 First one we wanna talk about is taking time for each other
06:04 'cause we can't communicate if we don't take time to do it.
06:06 That's right!
06:07 So that's the key, that's number one.
06:09 You know, and we like to use these simple illustrations
06:13 you know, about that telephone call,
06:14 because many of you
06:15 can relate to this in your own way,
06:17 in your own circumstances.
06:19 But just relating to it is not enough!
06:22 Those situations and evaluating in our own minds
06:26 what took place there helped us to begin
06:29 to say: "We need to make a commitment."
06:32 "If we're gonna have effective communication
06:34 we need to make a commitment that's
06:36 worthy of our marriage commitment.
06:38 And so do you remember the
06:40 commitment that I made to you?
06:41 Yes! I do dear!
06:43 You were generous.
06:45 We called it our five minute time.
06:46 That's right!
06:47 Now,
06:49 don't think that it's only five minutes,
06:50 but that's how it started out.
06:51 And I'll tell you how it happened:
06:53 I recognized that I needed to be giving my wife
06:58 a regular time every day
07:00 that was committed time,
07:02 time that she could count on.
07:03 Not only did I make that commitment to you
07:06 but I told you that I was going to really listen.
07:11 So I could say anything that I wanted to say.
07:12 Anything you wanted.
07:14 And you remember the first day
07:15 that we had this five minute time,
07:18 our talk time? - Yes!
07:19 It was five minutes, but
07:20 then it always went beyond that
07:21 - That's right! - even from the first day.
07:23 But what it told me is that
07:24 you were willing to give me special time every day
07:26 and that's what really you were communicating to me.
07:28 More that just when we can fit it in or
07:30 passed each other, pass on the information.
07:33 And I've decided that I wasn't gonna
07:35 start telling you everything on the first day.
07:38 You won't gonna just unload on me.
07:40 No! I wanted to
07:42 make it very positive for you.
07:43 And this is important. When you get that time
07:46 don't start it by all the things
07:48 that you're not happy with or that
07:50 you'd like to see improved.
07:51 Start it in a positive way!
07:54 And you know, one of the things that I committed to
07:57 in my own heart when I made that commitment to you
08:00 was that I was going to really
08:03 endeavor to listen!
08:06 Did you hear that word?
08:07 I did!
08:08 Did you hear that word?
08:10 Listen!
08:11 That is a very important word!
08:13 And listening as far as I'm concerned
08:15 and what I've tried to commit to my wife
08:18 in that situation was: "I'm going to listen
08:21 so that you are really understood!
08:25 And I wanna know that you're understood.
08:27 And I wanna make sure that I'm listening
08:30 not just waiting to say what I wanna say."
08:32 Because, you know, many times when we're listening
08:35 we can be, the brain
08:37 is incredible, we can be
08:39 listening, or partially listening,
08:41 - Hearing words I think.
08:42 - Hearing words! - Hearing the words!
08:43 And thinking about what we're gonna say to respond.
08:45 And I made a commitment to myself and I didn't say this
08:49 directly to you, but I wanted to try to really listen for you,
08:52 what you're really saying.
08:54 And know that I was understanding you
08:56 before I responded. Because in our past communication
09:00 many times I cut you off.
09:01 "Oh, I know what you're gonna say!
09:02 Don't say it! I know what you're thinking!"
09:05 We've both done that! Right?
09:07 Yes we have!
09:08 But I recognized I needed to take responsibility for that
09:11 for effective communication.
09:13 So, we made time
09:15 together, we took that time
09:17 faithfully
09:19 and I listened
09:21 to really understand you.
09:22 And you know what your response was to me
09:24 that really meant a lot to me
09:25 as a result of me listening to you
09:27 with understanding,
09:29 you started wanting to hear
09:30 my perspective again.
09:33 And that's really effective communication.
09:35 That's right!
09:36 So that brings us to point number two.
09:38 Listen with a heart to hear, not just the head but a heart
09:42 that I really understand you
09:43 and you really understand me.
09:45 And we agreed
09:46 that we would hear what the other one was saying
09:49 and we would listen with our heart.
09:50 That's right!
09:52 And then we would repeat it back so
09:54 if you said something to me I would clarify:
09:57 this what I'm hearing you say,
09:58 this is what I understand you to say.
10:00 Yes!
10:01 - And not a mechanical...
10:02 - Not in a mechanical way,
10:03 but just share back what I'm understanding you saying
10:06 That's right!
10:07 And that was very important
10:08 because we found out that sometimes our problem was
10:11 I was hearing but not understanding
10:12 you were giving the time but I wasn't understanding
10:15 or you weren't understanding. - That's right!
10:17 So, hearing with a heart, hearing with your heart
10:20 means that we're gonna hear what the person has to say
10:23 and we're gonna say it back so that we have clarification.
10:27 It doesn't mean that I have to agree with you
10:29 or that you have to agree with me,
10:30 but we have to understand each other.
10:32 That's the second point!
10:33 That's right! And you know, the beauty of that is
10:35 that if we really have that desire,
10:38 which we do have, and we have for many years now
10:41 when we have that desire to really listen
10:45 and really understand
10:47 even though we don't have to agree on everything
10:49 we can have differing perspectives but
10:52 the beauty of it is, is that we agree on many more things,
10:56 because of that kind of communication.
10:58 And so I wanna talk about that third area,
11:01 of effective communication. And that is that we can
11:04 have differing opinions
11:05 and differing perspectives.
11:09 It doesn't mean that my wife has to think like I think.
11:14 Or I have to think like she thinks
11:16 in order to blend our lives together.
11:18 The two shall become one.
11:20 It means that we have to be able to communicate
11:23 in such a way that we have the openness,
11:25 we have the willingness, we have the desire
11:27 the understanding
11:28 that we can blend together.
11:30 And you can still be your individual
11:32 and I can still be mine, we can still hold differing opinions
11:35 and differing perspectives.
11:37 But where many people get confused
11:39 is that we cannot
11:42 try to live on different principles.
11:45 That's right!
11:46 effective communication means
11:48 that we can have differing perspectives
11:51 on things that are, you know, not a moral issue
11:53 things that don't affect the principles of God's Word and
11:57 and don't affect the morality and the integrity
12:00 of our marriage and family.
12:02 But we can't go around
12:03 having different perspectives on principles.
12:06 That's right!
12:07 And the reason that many people
12:09 have the differing perspective on principles
12:12 is number one because
12:14 many times we're not going to God's Word
12:18 for that Sure Foundation
12:19 that we've talked about.
12:21 Secondly we're not willing to let self die.
12:24 That's the me focus that we've talked about earlier.
12:27 We wanna hold on to my me focus and not let that go,
12:31 therefore we divide.
12:33 And you view principle this way, I view principle this way
12:36 so maybe we should give them a little
12:38 illustration about the difference between perspective
12:41 and principle.
12:42 Well, one of the things that I remember
12:44 that's happened more than a few times in our home
12:46 is that when we're at the meal table
12:48 and I'd like the children just to try something once,
12:51 they don't have to like it,
12:52 they don't have to eat a whole helping of it
12:54 but just to try it.
12:55 And so I may say to them, you know:
12:57 "Alison, I'd like you, to you know, try this,
13:00 before you decide you don't like it, just take a bite."
13:04 It might not look good, but...
13:06 "Don't have to like it! Just try it!"
13:08 And you may have a totally different perspective.
13:11 You know, for you it's not important that they try it.
13:13 That's right!
13:14 - And so.. - That's one of the things that
13:15 we've differed on.
13:17 That's right!
13:18 And so, if I've made that request
13:20 then you support me in that. - That's right!
13:22 And if you have let-outs that oh doesn't matter
13:25 then I support you in that.
13:27 That's right!
13:28 And we have a differing perspective
13:29 but our communication is good
13:31 and we have that understanding.
13:33 And so, then we parent in agreement
13:35 with our young people.
13:36 We don't give them a different message.
13:37 That's right! So we can still have a different perspective
13:40 but our children see that although we
13:42 hold a different opinion, we can support each other
13:44 in that when we're visiting family or friends or
13:47 whatever I can support you in that position
13:50 or if I'm the one that happens to be
13:52 in the situation to make it vocal
13:55 you know, about that situation, you can support me.
13:58 But what about the principle
14:00 of Ephesians 6:1?
14:02 That says:
14:03 "Children,
14:04 obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right."
14:08 Now, can we have a differing opinion
14:11 on that and still have effective communication?
14:14 No!
14:16 And many parents today do have that differing opinion.
14:19 You've got one parent
14:21 who lets the children get away with anything
14:23 and it's compromising
14:25 and is indulging
14:27 and they're telling the child:
14:29 "No, you can't do this."
14:30 And the child does it anyway
14:31 and the parent does nothing about it.
14:34 So, here's the child getting one message from a parent
14:37 that's very confusing.
14:39 "I don't really have to obey mommy in this situation
14:41 'cause mommy just
14:43 lets me do it!
14:45 But now, when daddy comes home
14:48 daddy makes me obey."
14:50 That's not a good message for our children.
14:52 That doesn't send them
14:53 an effective communication message.
14:56 - And it brakes down our communication.
14:59 - That's right! It brakes down our communication.
15:00 It puts us against one another at a variance.
15:03 So, we can have differing opinions
15:05 on perspectives and those kinds of things.
15:08 But when we come to the principles of God's Word
15:11 we need to give a balanced message.
15:13 And we need to give you a brake right now
15:16 and we'll be right back to talk about
15:18 the rest of those principles
15:21 about effective communication.
15:22 Stay with us!
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16:02 Welcome back!
16:03 We've been talking about effective communication.
16:06 And we're looking at point number four
16:07 to have effective communication
16:09 is that we have to be positive
16:11 in our communication.
16:13 We have to appreciate one another.
16:15 Say things of appreciation, express that.
16:18 And say things in a positive way.
16:20 I remember I used to say things like this:
16:23 "Oh, my husband is not any good at that
16:24 can you help us with?"
16:26 Like mechanical things
16:28 or home maintenance things you know,
16:30 we'll get a friend who's a plumber:
16:31 "Can you do this? My husband is not any good at that!"
16:34 That form of communication
16:35 is really a put down to you.
16:37 And I didn't even realize that.
16:39 I didn't really... you know... even understand that
16:41 when we were doing it in those days.
16:42 It really didn't affect you that way,
16:44 but God put in my heart that I could say something better.
16:47 effective communication is positive.
16:50 You know: "Can you help us with this pluming job?
16:52 That's not one of my husbands strengths"
16:54 Certainly makes it sound better!
16:55 Yes!
16:56 It is, and...
16:58 It's not that he's just terrible at it, but just...
17:00 not as high on the priority list
17:02 - Right! - ...strengths.
17:03 But looking for ways to
17:04 communicate something in the most positive way
17:07 will improve our communication
17:09 and when our communication is positive,
17:12 we have a marriage that's heart to heart.
17:14 - That's right! - And showing appreciation
17:16 many times you'll say: "Honey
17:18 thank you for the meal!"
17:19 I mean I feed you every day and every day you have some
17:22 words of appreciation.
17:23 It's not taken for granted.
17:26 And that influence has transferred
17:28 to our children in the home
17:29 and it creates the atmosphere
17:31 not just between us that's at peace and resting
17:33 happy but also in the entire family.
17:36 So the positive communication has been very beneficial.
17:40 Well, you know, if you think about it
17:42 all of us like appreciation.
17:44 I mean
17:45 don't you like to be appreciated?
17:47 Doesn't it feel nice when somebody notices
17:50 that you did a good job?
17:52 Or when you did something special?
17:54 Now, we shouldn't be doing it
17:56 for that motivation
17:57 certainly.
17:58 But it's encouraging.
18:00 You know: "The lawn looks great, honey!"
18:04 You know, those are words of encouragement that
18:06 even though I'm gonna still mow the lawn
18:08 when I hear my wife say that to me
18:11 it just, yes! It's nice!
18:14 So, I think we've learned and are continuing to learn
18:17 that if we express those words of appreciation
18:22 and I do for the meals like you said,
18:24 - You do for a lot of things! - And it's because I
18:26 I really do appreciate! I appreciated you
18:29 home schooling our children through all those years.
18:32 I really genuinely appreciated
18:33 as I saw the fruit in our young people
18:35 and saw their successes, they went on in their careers.
18:38 It's been a blessing!
18:40 I genuinely appreciated!
18:41 And lots of people do genuinely appreciate things
18:45 but they never express it!
18:48 And
18:49 it's like receiving a flower.
18:50 I mean I can think nice things about you
18:51 but it's nice once in a while to give you a rose or
18:54 you know, it says something in a little different way.
18:57 That's right! And when we
19:00 increase our positive communication in the home
19:03 it also increases the little things we do for each other,
19:06 the little acts of kindness. - Yes!
19:08 You know, like with you mowing the lawn.
19:10 Oh, I'll bring you out a glass of water.
19:11 Because I appreciate what you're doing.
19:13 And so, it goes from our words
19:17 and it moves to our actions.
19:18 Yes! And I wanna encourage the people
19:20 I think a lot of this
19:22 we do it out there
19:24 we express appreciation,
19:26 we write maybe nice thank you notes and
19:29 and we express.. - You did a great job
19:30 at some of your work. - Yes!
19:32 You know, we express out there. Let's express it here
19:35 in the marriage!
19:37 Let's express it in the family!
19:39 Because that's where it needs to be happening
19:42 the most!
19:43 Well, let's move on to number five.
19:46 Being sensitive
19:47 or being aware of the nonverbal communication
19:51 that takes place because
19:52 do you know that even in our silence
19:55 we're communicating?
19:57 There's communication that comes through
19:59 in the countenance of the face
20:00 there's communication that's coming through
20:03 in the expression in the eyes.
20:06 And so
20:07 we need to be sensitive to that nonverbal communication
20:11 because I can be saying one thing
20:14 and be feeling something else. And what I'm feeling
20:16 you'll probably know,
20:18 after living with me for this long.
20:20 That's right!
20:21 Because we really gain more by the expression
20:24 than we do with words.
20:26 'Cause the words can be under control or
20:29 managed in even the me focus to some degree.
20:32 But, what's inside can't be.
20:34 And that's where the real message is coming from.
20:35 So to be sensitive to our communication
20:38 and how we respond nonverbally.
20:41 That means our heart has to be right!
20:43 The source has to be pure.
20:44 Yes!
20:45 That's what God wants to do in our hearts.
20:47 I remember
20:48 I was just smiling because I
20:50 remembered that one day we were having
20:52 a little family council together.
20:53 It was a little impromptu family council.
20:56 And the children had something
20:57 that they really felt they needed to share.
20:59 And that's something we have really encouraged in our home
21:03 is what we call family council.
21:04 You can come together and you can share
21:06 what's on your hearts and
21:07 we'll talk about it and we'll get a resolution.
21:10 So, that day that they had come and
21:12 we were talking together and
21:14 it seemed like I was having a little bit of difficulty
21:16 getting out of them
21:18 what they really wanted to say, and I finally said to them,
21:21 you know: "Is there something
21:22 that it's keeping you from just opening up?"
21:26 And one of them said: "Well,
21:28 Father,
21:31 it's that wrinkled forehead."
21:33 And I said:
21:35 "Wrinkled forehead?"
21:37 "What is, what do you mean wrinkled forehead?"
21:39 And I started doing this, and
21:40 they said: "No father, that's not what we mean"
21:42 I said: "Is it like this?"
21:44 "No, you can't make it happen, except when you
21:47 are really doing it!"
21:49 "But when you get that wrinkled forehead it
21:51 kind of tells us that
21:53 maybe this isn't the best time to communicate this."
21:57 And so, you remember, I said to them:
21:59 "Well, I don't wanna have a wrinkled forehead anymore."
22:01 "Because in our home
22:02 we're serious about living real Christianity."
22:05 That's right!
22:06 So I gave them permission from then on
22:08 to tell me:
22:09 "If I'm getting the wrinkled forehead
22:11 you have permission to respectfully tell me
22:14 that I've got a wrinkled forehead.
22:16 And by God's Grace I'm gonna deal with this."
22:19 And have I dealt with it dear?
22:21 I haven't seen it in so long
22:22 I told you earlier, I almost forgot what it looks like.
22:25 I'll have to wait till the next time.
22:27 - And I want... - You can't mimic it!
22:28 Yes, I want that to be an encouragement to our listeners.
22:32 These things that are difficult,
22:34 the things that brake effective communication
22:37 these things can be changed,
22:38 if we're willing to cooperate with the Lord.
22:41 The sixth thing we wanna talk about
22:42 to effective communication
22:44 is to stay on the topic.
22:46 And you have been great in our marriage
22:48 to keep me on the topic.
22:50 Because sometimes, what brakes communication down
22:53 is that something little starts
22:55 and one of those communication breakers enter
22:58 and then we're down here and here and here.
23:00 And pretty soon we're in a big disagreement
23:03 over something that wasn't even the issue.
23:05 Yes, it wasn't even what we started with.
23:07 It wasn't where we started.
23:08 So stay on the topic whatever it is.
23:10 If there's a problem that has to be addressed
23:12 let's stay with the topic.
23:14 And it really decreases the potential for frustration.
23:17 Amen!
23:19 And area number seven
23:21 the last area that we wanna talk about.
23:23 is honesty and integrity.
23:26 Those are powerful words.
23:29 And unfortunately in many marriages
23:32 there isn't open, honest communication.
23:37 And we're actually gonna spend
23:38 we felt that this was important
23:40 if we're gonna spend a whole program
23:42 talking about honesty and integrity.
23:45 But it's been vital in our marriage.
23:47 I mean
23:48 the honesty we're talking about is not just
23:51 telling the truth.
23:52 It goes way beyond that. What are we hiding from
23:55 one another?
23:56 And why are we hiding? What's the motivation behind it?
23:58 So, that has been a tremendous blessing
24:01 as we have been building a marriage that's heart to heart.
24:05 That transparency in our marriage
24:08 between each other
24:09 which only improves our communication,
24:11 because we know when we share with each other
24:14 we're open and honest,
24:15 even if the things we have to share are difficult to share.
24:18 That's right!
24:19 So, we wanna give you
24:21 a personal challenge today
24:25 that you will take time daily.
24:27 This question of communication is so vital.
24:33 If you're experiencing
24:35 the tragic results of poor communication.
24:38 And if you feel
24:39 the walls are there and if only one of you recognizes it
24:42 now is the time to begin introducing
24:46 effective communication
24:48 on a daily basis. Make a positive suggestion
24:51 that you're willing to begin participating
24:54 with a regular scheduled time of communication.
24:58 And then agree
25:00 even if it's just one person
25:03 we can agree in our own mind
25:04 that I'm gonna communicate and listen with my heart.
25:08 If one person does that in the marriage
25:11 you already see improvement.
25:13 Because it's what's happening in your heart
25:14 that can make the difference.
25:16 So, really listen with your heart!
25:18 Don't try to think what they're gonna say
25:19 and finish their sentences or get your
25:22 spiel ready to present.
25:24 Listen with your heart!
25:25 And then make sure that you understand
25:27 before you draw your conclusions.
25:29 That's right!
25:30 And then
25:31 we need to allow for a differing perspective.
25:34 A differing perspective,
25:35 not on the principles of God's Word,
25:36 we need to be united there, but a differing perspective
25:39 on how we see life.
25:41 Express appreciation!
25:43 That is something that happens regularly in our home.
25:46 And it has meant so much. It opens communication.
25:49 I feel like sharing more,
25:50 I feel like sharing my heart with my husband
25:53 when there's that positive expression
25:56 and that appreciation in our communication.
25:59 And be sensitive
26:01 to those nonverbal communications,
26:03 the messages that are being given
26:05 through what's really in the heart.
26:07 Yes!
26:08 I can't control what my husband expresses,
26:10 his nonverbals,
26:12 but I can allow Christ to work in my heart
26:15 at the source and my nonverbals can be
26:18 more positive.
26:20 And then remember to stay on the topic.
26:23 Remember what you really wanted to talk about
26:25 and don't get sidetracked with all those other issues
26:28 that wanna come in, take you down on a wrong track.
26:31 Don't bring up that past!
26:33 Stay on the topic!
26:34 And then be honest in your communication,
26:37 even if you're concerned it might be a little hurtful
26:40 be honest and sensitive
26:42 in how you present it.
26:44 We want you to experience a marriage heart to heart.
26:48 And as we continue to grow in our marriage
26:50 we know the main key force behind it
26:53 is our willingness to surrender
26:55 and receive the Power of Jesus Christ!
26:57 And we wanna turn there
26:59 for just a moment as we close in prayer.
27:03 Father in Heaven we thank You that we can come to You.
27:07 We wanna have effective communication and we know
27:09 part of that is that we need
27:10 to effectively communicate with You
27:12 through Your Word and through our time in prayer.
27:15 And Father I just pray for
27:17 our viewing audience today
27:18 that if there's communication barriers,
27:21 things that are breaking down the communication
27:23 that our listeners will take courage and hope
27:26 to continue to move forward
27:28 with a new desire to communicate effectively.
27:31 In Jesus name we thank You! Amen!
27:35 We hope you'll join us next time
27:37 as we continue talking about
27:39 effective communication.
27:41 This next time we'll be talking about: Please understand me!
27:44 We all wanna be understood!
27:46 And we all want a marriage heart to heart!
28:25 Produced by Three Angels Broadcasting Network
28:28 Captions and subtitles by Christian Media Services


Revised 2014-12-17