Series Code: LAC
Program Code: LAC180006A
00:02 Hi, I was blinded by pride in my life and that pride
00:06 led me to take a plan B after the fact contraceptive.
00:11 I'd like to share with you how God restored and redeemed
00:13 my life though on "Life After Choice."
00:32 I'm Abby and thank you so much for joining us
00:35 on Life After Choice.
00:36 I was 18, I had just finished my first year of college,
00:40 I was joining the military, I had my own plans.
00:43 I didn't care about anything that God had planned for me
00:46 because I was pretty indignant to the idea that He had some
00:49 grand plan for my life. I felt like He was very distant
00:52 and didn't really care bout what I was doing.
00:53 Well thankfully even though I was blinded by my pride
00:58 and blind to the chaos that was going on in my life
01:01 realistically, the gentleman that I started dating
01:05 my now husband. He was much more humble and looked at life
01:09 much more realistically. He was in the process of trying to
01:12 build his relationship with God, he was looking for a church
01:16 to help him foster that relationship...
01:17 So when we started dating, it was really difficult for
01:23 me to think about how he was trying to build this
01:26 relationship with God when I hadn't really cared about
01:28 one at all. Regardless from our different perceptions
01:33 we really just fell in love with each other.
01:37 Even though he was in church and trying to do the right thing,
01:40 we really got wrapped up in this worldly sense of
01:43 falling in love...Got busy of thinking what we wanted,
01:47 my plans and his plans. Well our foolish plans met the
01:54 consequences and the reality of our choice when we found
01:58 out that we could be pregnant. So being terrified of the idea
02:02 of becoming a mom, I talked to him about my fears and I took
02:06 Plan B Contraceptive pill. Now this is a pill that I took
02:10 after the fact that I thought the pregnancy might have been
02:14 successful. Well, I thought I had it under control,
02:19 I had my plans, I wasn't concerned about what God's were
02:22 and this was my way of taking care of things to make sure
02:25 that my life could go just the way that I had planned it.
02:28 Well, I praise God that He had a different plan
02:31 because we ended up still being pregnant,
02:33 and the pregnancy was very successful and about two weeks
02:38 later we found out that we were going to be parents
02:39 in nine months. It totally floored me, I was terrified,
02:44 the idea of just becoming this mom, being in charge of another
02:48 person's life, it was terrifying.
02:50 But my husband on the other hand, we had only been dating
02:54 for three months at that time, he was really excited,
02:56 he wanted to become a dad and he just really really wanted
03:00 to take this opportunity and even though it wasn't the best
03:03 start to things, he really wanted to move forward with it
03:05 and try to build a family with us.
03:08 So even though it was a little bit chaotic there at the
03:12 beginning, we tried to move forward in doing
03:15 the right thing. We had no idea what we were doing.
03:17 I still wasn't going to commit my life to the Lord,
03:20 I was more concerned about how I was going to take care of this
03:23 and even though I was on this team with my husband,
03:27 we had a plan, but it was our plan, it wasn't God's plan.
03:31 So our next step, we thought well, if we are going to
03:36 build this family together and if we are going to become
03:38 parents, what is it going to look like?
03:40 Ashamed of becoming pregnant, not married,
03:43 just three months into a relationship, we stopped
03:45 going to church together.
03:47 We really isolated ourselves from any kind of positive
03:50 influence, we did tell out families but the initial shock
03:53 was really more damaging than it was helpful to us for them.
03:57 So in that chaos and in the midst of all that craziness,
04:01 we just kind of pushed ourselves away from everybody else
04:04 and we were very very alone. But I praise God that He had
04:08 a plan the whole time and His timing was perfect.
04:11 Cause we had made a friend over at our church that really
04:15 we'd only been going to for a couple of months
04:17 and this friend was so concerned about us that we hadn't
04:20 been coming back to church, we were ignoring his calls
04:23 repetitively that one evening my husband got home from work,
04:28 he just showed up at the door and he said hey,
04:31 what's going on, why aren't you guys here?
04:33 You guys are this really sweet couple young couple
04:35 you should really be in church, we want you there.
04:38 So my husband he explained everything to him and how we
04:41 were so ashamed and embarrassed and we didn't know
04:44 what we were going to do, we wanted to stay committed
04:46 to each other but we didn't really know how to move forward
04:48 to build a true family.
04:51 So we tried to do our best and he reminded us of that
04:56 wonderful verse in Luke that tells us that Jesus came
04:59 not to save the righteous but help the broken and to help
05:03 those that are lost.
05:04 So we moved forward and we went back to church,
05:08 we were met with so much love and so much support.
05:11 Those next few months as I became more and more pregnant
05:14 and the reality of this life growing inside of me became
05:17 more and more real, we decided that we really needed to get
05:21 serious about our relationship with God,
05:23 our relationship with each other so we were baptized
05:26 when I was five months pregnant and we got baptized together
05:31 and we committed our lives to the Lord.
05:33 Didn't really know what that would look like,
05:35 didn't really know what it meant but we really just wanted
05:38 to set this foundation for our family because we knew that we
05:41 couldn't do it without God's help.
05:42 Just a few months after that, we moved forward with
05:46 marriage plans despite everyone's advice not to
05:49 because we were rushing into things and it was scary and fast
05:53 and they didn't want us to get married just because
05:55 we were pregnant but we really felt like it was the right thing
05:58 to do and that we were truly committed to each other
06:01 no matter what. So we got married and we built this
06:06 foundation for our little baby who was born
06:08 and when she was born, it was just every day we had to
06:13 completely give ourselves to Christ and surrender our lives
06:16 to Him in every way because we had to rely on Him that way.
06:19 When she was so tiny, it was incredible.
06:24 When you become it's so exciting and I kind of just lost
06:29 sight of the rough beginning because things were so beautiful,
06:33 God was truly blessing us.
06:34 He really held true to His promise that He will provide
06:38 for all of our needs and that He knows the desires of our
06:41 hearts. He gave us a home to live in, He gave us a miraculous
06:46 way for me to stay in school. He gave my husband a good job
06:50 and He supplied for absolutely all of our needs, emotional,
06:54 physical and monetary. Lost in this wonderfulness of becoming
06:59 a family and trying to live our lives for the Lord
07:02 we just really took the time to grow together.
07:05 So by the time my daughter turned nine months old,
07:09 I had really been praying about ways that I could serve
07:12 in the church and the Holy Spirit impressed upon me
07:15 that I needed to focus on a ministry that would talk about
07:20 abortion and the value of life, helping people find alternatives
07:26 because I really identified with the fear that people feel
07:29 when you feel like everything in your life is crumbling
07:33 and you just want to fix it. You just want to move forward
07:35 with your plans. I really really identified with that.
07:38 My husband completely supported me and he said well
07:41 why don't you ask our pastor about it?
07:43 We'd just gotten a new pastor and we thought well let's
07:45 really try to get involved and why don't you just ask him?
07:48 So I turned in a connection card, just a little note
07:52 at the end of service telling our pastor what I wanted to do..
07:56 I had no idea what God was doing, where He was leading it.
07:59 Well the next steps, we were looking into what the church
08:03 had to offer and what our local community had to offer
08:06 and several denominations within our city outside of the
08:10 SDA church, they had programs built for this and they had
08:15 Crisis Pregnancy Centers for people.
08:17 So I really wanted to glean from these people's ideas
08:20 and my pride kind of crept in again and I looked at it
08:24 like, well I just want to take these people's ideas and
08:28 I want to build something for the Adventist Church.
08:30 That was kind of my mentality there at the beginning.
08:33 Well one program that we found was the Rachel's Vineyard
08:36 Program and thankfully my pastor was in a position that he really
08:40 wanted to go with me to this retreat.
08:42 It was a weekend retreat where we focused with a
08:47 post abortive men and women on the healing that God has
08:50 to offer. The forgiveness that is truly there that Satan
08:53 likes to try to pull from our minds and make us think that
08:57 we're not good enough or that we could possibly do something
09:01 that could not earn Christ's forgiveness.
09:04 This retreat focused on the power of the cross
09:07 and what Jesus did for us there and the hope and the healing
09:10 that can come from accepting His gift to us.
09:13 At this retreat, one of the scripture stories that we
09:18 focused on was the story of the woman caught in adultery
09:22 and when I was looking over the notes before we
09:26 even went to the retreat, I thought to myself,
09:28 okay, I really need to focus on something for myself
09:32 for healing on this retreat because we are going to be
09:34 surrounded by these people who had suffered great loss
09:37 in their life and I read it to my husband and told him,
09:40 we're going to be going over all of these Bible Stories
09:42 and I really want to focus on something I can
09:44 help me, something that I can work on while I'm here.
09:47 Him being the more realistic one, he looked at me completely
09:51 honestly and said, well, you tried to get rid of her,
09:55 speaking about our daughter... We did try that...
09:58 We could have had the abortion in the form of that Plan B pill,
10:03 we did reject life and that floored me, it was just
10:08 this reality that everything wasn't perfect,
10:12 I still had this pain that I was dealing with
10:14 that I wanted to cover up with a Band-Aid and race past it
10:18 pretend like, oh no, that's all good, that's all left
10:20 in the past...But it was still there and still had to deal with
10:24 that. So that's what I focused on on the retreat.
10:27 When we got to the story, that story of the woman caught
10:31 in adultery and everyone was surrounding her
10:35 everyone was looking at her and judging her
10:38 and Jesus was there writing their sins in the dust.
10:41 He said where are your accusers? after they had all left
10:47 and He said I don't condemn you either, neither do I condemn you.
10:51 They're not here to condemn you, neither will I.
10:53 That really struck a chord in my heart and made me realize
10:57 the true character of God and and who He really is to us
11:00 and how He views us as His children, that He absolutely
11:04 loves us. I was just so thankful for that retreat and
11:10 for the new view of God it had given me.
11:12 This relationship that I could build upon, this reality
11:16 of who God was and how much His love really impacted me,
11:21 I was so thankful. Coming back from that retreat,
11:25 my life was completely changed, I came back a new person.
11:28 My husband was so excited to see me have this new energy
11:31 and the next level of fire for the Lord.
11:35 I was absolutely in love and head over heels for what He had
11:40 done for me. So moving forward when I thought about
11:45 well what's next? I have this new life, this redemption
11:49 in my life, what am I supposed to do with it?
11:52 Well the Lord made it really obvious, I needed to focus
11:56 on the value of human life because when I looked around me,
11:59 it creeps into every aspect, it's not just abortion
12:03 it's not just contraceptives, it's just about how we view
12:09 human life. Do we view each other the way God views us?
12:12 When we start looking at each other like that,
12:15 then we can see how precious this human life is,
12:19 and all of these children and all of the human beings
12:24 that are on this planet, how precious they are to the Lord.
12:27 Looking at life a little bit differently in that way,
12:30 viewing people as true precious children of God.
12:33 I started looking around wondering who else was in pain,
12:37 who else was suffering with this weight on their shoulders
12:40 that they felt like they could never be forgiven,
12:43 that they had done the unthinkable, that they were
12:47 just keep punishing themselves over and over and over again
12:50 by walking back through those thoughts.
12:51 They didn't have to look far. Just within our own church
12:55 there are several people who needed that healing.
12:57 God provided avenues that we could start our own ministry
13:01 within that church and it has just grown and grown and grown.
13:04 It has been an incredible journey to see what God has done
13:08 and I am just so thankful that we could have the opportunity
13:13 to help people. I think some- times we get lost in the idea
13:17 of helping other people and forget that we're broken people
13:20 too and we're as individuals we have broken hearts
13:24 and we have to address that before we can help others.
13:28 We have to put that pride aside and let God's plan
13:31 come in. We really have to put Him first.
13:34 My overall take away when I reflect on what God has done
13:39 in my life and how He has been there for me the whole time
13:43 pursued me relentlessly. I really just look around me
13:50 and see how He has provided for all of my needs,
13:53 how He's always been there for me, how even before I was
13:58 pregnant, He was there for me too. I was just to prideful
14:02 and to blind to see it.
14:03 The closer that I got to becoming a mom,
14:07 the more real it got and every day since
14:10 I just get a little bit closer to Him and I am so thankful
14:13 for it. I praise the Lord for what He has done in my life
14:16 and I know that He can do the same work in yours.
14:18 So implore you to submit your self to God to put His plan
14:22 first because His is a lot better than anything
14:25 that you could come up with.