Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Jennifer Jill Schwirzer
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000383
00:01 Hi, if you are a male over the age of twelve
00:03 years old I'm betting that you've noticed
00:06 how different females are, and vise versa.
00:09 We know that men and women are different,
00:12 that's why the book Men are from Mars,
00:14 Women are from Venus was so popular.
00:17 But did God create us to be this
00:20 way and why? Please join us today
00:22 on Issues And Answers as we discuss
00:24 the differences between men and women.
00:52 Hi, I'm Shelley Quinn and today on Issues And
00:54 Answers we're talking about the differences
00:56 between men and women. Let me read a scripture
00:59 to you and this comes from Genesis chapter 2,
01:01 you might already know where I'm going.
01:05 When God created Adam after His own image
01:09 then He put him into a deep sleep removed a rib
01:11 and He created woman. And this is what He
01:13 says in Genesis 2:24, therefore a man shall
01:18 leave his father and his mother and shall become
01:21 united and cleave to his wife,
01:24 and they shall become one flesh.
01:28 Well, today we're gonna talk about the unity
01:31 of two very different, I start to say species
01:37 but two different genders here.
01:39 Let me introduce to you our very special guest
01:42 Jennifer Jill Schwirzer. Jennifer,
01:44 thank you so much for coming back to 3ABN.
01:47 Good to be here. You've been here
01:48 a number of times in the past and then we're
01:50 doing a number of programs with you right now.
01:53 Now you have your Masters in Human Services.
01:57 Mental Health Counseling. Mental Health
01:59 Counseling. So you are a certified,
02:01 a nationally certified counselor,
02:04 a Christian counselor. What's the difference
02:06 between being a Christian counselor and a
02:09 secular counselor? Well, I'm not certified
02:11 as a Christian counselor but I use a Christian
02:14 what we might called modality in counseling,
02:16 so the difference would be that,
02:18 well the central difference is that you
02:20 bring God into the therapeutic process which
02:23 makes to me all the difference in the world.
02:25 Amen. Amen. So you know I have this,
02:29 in the tease to this open I have talked about
02:32 this book Men are from Mars,
02:34 Women are from Venus. Very popular book.
02:37 Why do you think that book was so popular?
02:39 Because, I really don't think it was,
02:42 because the book was so well written or because
02:45 it presented such revolutionary information.
02:47 I think it was just the subject matter,
02:50 it's very intriguing. And what I find,
02:52 when I do presentations on this topic is that
02:55 it draws a laugh, there's a certain a
02:57 stimulation to the topic, it just,
02:59 it just gets people going.
03:01 The book was a blockbuster,
03:02 there were 16 spin offs. First of all it sold
03:05 40 million copies in 45 languages,
03:09 then there were like 16 different spin offs
03:11 you know when someone has a successful book
03:12 then they publish sort of a clone of that book,
03:14 so the spin offs were things like,
03:16 you know Mars and Venus in love,
03:18 and Mars and Venus on a date.
03:20 And the Mars and Venus exercise solutions,
03:22 so it's one thing after another the sort of
03:24 a cloned out of Mars and Venus.
03:26 And the book was called by USA Today the number
03:29 one relationship book of all time;
03:31 it was just a very, very popular book.
03:34 And I think, it's mainly because
03:35 of the subject matter. And you know,
03:37 of course, there's biological
03:38 differences but I recently read,
03:41 and we know there's emotional differences,
03:43 there's, the way our brain processes information
03:47 is different. Oh, yeah. And I read something
03:49 recently talking about even the difference the
03:52 way men and women listen. Women listen with both
03:56 spheres of their brain, where as men only
03:58 listen with one. And when I read that
04:02 I thought well, I could have told
04:03 you that, you know, but there's.
04:05 And that's what funny thing is a lot of
04:06 the research, they go to the
04:08 great lengths to, you know sort
04:10 of draw out these different features of men
04:13 versus women. And I remember reading
04:14 one study when on and on with all this
04:16 methodology and it was longitudinal
04:18 cross-sectional and you know they put all this
04:20 money and effort into it and the bottom line the
04:24 conclusion was that women are wired for
04:26 relationship and men aren't so relational
04:28 as women are. And I just thought,
04:30 well I could have told you that without
04:32 all that trouble, you know,
04:33 some things are obvious. And I think sometimes
04:35 I remember of my husband, when we first
04:37 got married, he kept telling me,
04:38 "I'm not good at relationships,
04:40 I'm not good at relationships.
04:41 And now he's probably, you know,
04:44 he's very relational. He is very relational,
04:47 and he just took, I think sometimes,
04:49 it's just modeling it or being in a
04:52 good relationship, sometimes it's just
04:54 experiential activity that develops those things.
04:59 Well. I wanna make a really important point
05:01 before we get into this, through the body of this
05:03 presentation and that is that,
05:05 we need to be very careful when we're citing
05:08 generalities whether it's an ethnic group or
05:11 whether we're talking about gender,
05:12 no matter what we are talking about when we
05:14 start talking about generalities,
05:16 it's a very important that we don't degenerate
05:18 into stereotyping. So we are talking,
05:20 when we are talking about the differences
05:22 between men and women, we're talking about trends
05:25 on the whole men are more this way and women
05:28 are more this way, however there are
05:30 always exceptions to the rule.
05:31 And the way I would like to conceptualize
05:33 is this, there are, is like a bell shaped
05:36 curve for instance that shows,
05:37 you know the spectrum of heights of men
05:40 versus women, okay, and so women are on the
05:44 whole going to be shorter than men.
05:47 On the whole. I'm the exception.
05:49 And you're the exception the average woman is
05:51 going to be, you know, the mean of woman's
05:54 heights is going to be shorter than the mean
05:56 of men's height but in two bell shaped curves
05:58 there's gonna be overlapped,
05:59 so they are gonna be women that are taller,
06:00 that many women that are taller than men,
06:03 and men that are shorter than women.
06:05 And so there are exceptions to the rule.
06:07 Yes as a woman, it's becoming more,
06:11 I think when I was younger it was
06:13 very exceptional, I'm nearly 6 feet tall.
06:16 And so when I was younger it was more
06:20 exceptional but I find, and it depends on the
06:22 area of the country you're in,
06:24 like in Oklahoma, there's a whole lot of
06:26 6 feet tall women. Texas there's a number,
06:29 a good number, California there's a lot.
06:32 Yeah. Now moved to Illinois,
06:34 and I run into woman in the store,
06:36 it just seems that everybody had
06:38 worked with here there's lot of shorter people
06:40 and shorter men it seems like to me but.
06:43 But you got the point that we have to be very
06:44 careful not to over generalize,
06:46 not to stereotype and that's,
06:48 you know it's a sensitive issue for me because
06:51 there are some ways in which each one of us
06:53 women are maybe more like a man than some
06:58 men are and we don't want to be forced into a
07:01 pigeonholed into a roll or into a certain
07:04 way of functioning just because we're
07:06 biologically women, we wanna be able
07:08 to kind of spread our wings.
07:09 Hey you know what I'm saying?
07:10 You know, when I was reading the scripture
07:12 to begin with I have this theory and this is
07:16 the theory according to Shelley Quinn,
07:18 I'm gonna say it's, it's necessary Biblical,
07:21 but I believe when God created Adam,
07:24 He put, He was created in His image that
07:27 He put all of his characteristics in Adam,
07:30 and then I think, when He removed
07:31 the rib and He created the woman,
07:34 I think that some of the attributes,
07:36 characteristics of the women,
07:39 that we label feminine, are qualities of God that
07:44 He put a few more of maybe the nurturing
07:46 qualities of this in a woman because He had
07:48 a role for her, and the man He gave
07:51 more of that fights type protective mechanisms.
07:57 And I think that all attributes of God that
08:00 as we pull them together then it becomes
08:02 that image once again. Oh, I think of metaphors
08:06 that various Bible writers used,
08:08 Jesus Himself said that He longed to gather
08:10 Jerusalem together like a hen gather for chicks,
08:13 and Paul said he was like a nursing mother
08:15 to His people, so these men were
08:17 not afraid to present their own, you know,
08:20 feminine side so to speak. Right. So obviously
08:23 that is also a reflection of God. Amen.
08:25 The part of God. Let's talk about
08:27 the differences. Let's talk about
08:28 the differences. Yeah. Let's talk with the
08:29 biological and I don't wanna go into all the
08:30 biological differences because we know,
08:32 we are just talking about too much information,
08:36 but what about the biological differences
08:37 that affect the brain for instance?
08:38 Probably one of the most important differences is
08:41 the size of the Corpus Callosum.
08:44 The Corpus Callosum is an organ that transmits
08:47 messages back and forth between the right and
08:50 left hemispheres of the brain.
08:51 Now, neuroscientist have discovered that the
08:54 hemispheres of the brain whether the right or the
08:57 left have very specific functions,
08:59 and this is hard for some people to remember,
09:01 my husband always forgets which is which,
09:03 and so he hates it when I say, oh,
09:05 so and so is right brain you know,
09:06 he hates that because he can never remember
09:08 which is which, but I'll just summarize
09:11 here and then you can forget what I said,
09:13 after I say it. The right side of
09:15 the brain is the side of the brain that deals
09:17 with the big picture. The right side of the
09:20 brain deals with creativity,
09:22 it deals with the experience,
09:24 feeling music not the technical part of music
09:26 but the artistic creative side of the music.
09:29 The left side of the brain is the part of the
09:31 brain that deals with verbalization;
09:34 it deals with categorization,
09:35 organization, judgment, so they compliment
09:39 one another. So there's an organ
09:42 called Corpus Callosum which is in the center
09:45 between those two hemispheres that conducts
09:47 messages back and forth between the two so that
09:49 we can function as human beings in fact,
09:51 in some studies where people had their Corpus
09:54 Callosum severed because they were doing that
09:56 for a while to treat epilepsy,
09:58 they found that people had problems as a
10:00 result of that. So it's an important organ
10:04 and it enables us to communicate between the
10:06 two hemispheres of the brain.
10:08 So the right side of the brain can talk
10:10 to the left, left can talk to the
10:11 right because of the Corpus Callosum.
10:14 Women's Corpus Callosum on the whole is visibly
10:17 larger to the naked eye than a male
10:19 Corpus Callosum, isn't that amazing?
10:22 That doesn't surprise me though because we,
10:24 I mean we just see that exhibited more and
10:26 manifested more in a woman's life.
10:27 Well, and I think one of the ways that it's
10:29 manifested is women can take big
10:31 picture information, and they can move very
10:34 quickly into the left side of the brain which
10:36 is the articulating side of the brain,
10:39 they can articulate that big picture information.
10:42 And so they can talk very freely about relational
10:44 dynamics about, you know these settled
10:47 things that go on that are kind right
10:48 brain things, that are real crisp
10:50 and clear and factual, they can take
10:53 these dynamics, these sort of,
10:55 you know, difficult to quantify
10:57 pieces of information, intuitive information
11:00 and they can articulate it well.
11:02 But what you find is that men tend to
11:04 be more lateral, they can't move back
11:06 and forth between the two hemispheres,
11:08 as easily as quickly and so they don't tend
11:11 to be able to do that as well.
11:13 So that's why women love to talk about
11:14 relationships on the whole.
11:16 And why men hate it when a woman says to them,
11:19 honey can we talk? On the whole.
11:22 On the whole, on the whole, yes. Okay.
11:24 Yeah, so we have the larger Corpus Callosum
11:28 in women, we have hormonal
11:30 differences obviously, testosterone does
11:32 certain things to the brain and to the behavior
11:34 and estrogen does other things and obviously
11:37 estrogen is in dominance in women and
11:39 testosterone in men. So those are just
11:41 some basic biological differences,
11:43 there are many more, I'm just touching on
11:44 things here, we don't really
11:45 have time to go into great detail.
11:47 Well, let's talk about the intellectual
11:49 differences which are related to these
11:51 biological differences, the preponderance
11:55 of research is that women are wired
11:57 for people and men are wired for system.
12:01 Women tend to be more natural at empathy,
12:03 I mentioned a moment ago nurturing,
12:06 that's seems to come naturally to women,
12:08 men on the other hand tend to look at the big
12:10 picture and organize the troops so to speak.
12:13 So what I think of, when I read research
12:15 like that is, when we used to pack the car to
12:17 go to Florida, my dad always had to be
12:20 in-charge of the packing, because he
12:21 was you know taking control of the system
12:24 and how the system was all gonna work.
12:25 It's not that he didn't care about the
12:27 individuals that were part of the systems but
12:29 he needed to keep the whole system
12:31 functioning in order to keep the individuals
12:33 safe and successfully transport them from
12:36 where we lived in Ohio to Florida.
12:39 My mother on the other hand was the one that
12:41 you know reminded everybody to their bring
12:43 their toothbrush and made sure that we didn't
12:45 bring six bathing suits and made sure that we
12:47 brought you know enough clothes in case
12:48 it got cold and stuff like that, you know she was
12:50 dealing directly with the individuals.
12:53 So that just gives you an idea of one scenario
12:55 in which the man is looking at the system
12:57 and the woman is more connected to the
12:58 individual people. And that is how we're wired.
13:01 You know, I don't meant it, not let your
13:04 talk here but. Go ahead. I think the physical is
13:06 the metaphor of the spiritual, and women
13:09 are physically constructed in such a way that they
13:12 can nourish babies, and so they're better fit
13:15 physically to be mothers particularly
13:18 of very young children. I'm not against stay at
13:21 home dads and the women working,
13:23 they can work I'm not being you know
13:25 dogmatic about this but on the whole, it's just
13:28 women function better in that home
13:30 environment especially with small children.
13:33 So that physical ability to nourish children,
13:35 I think is a metaphor of how women are
13:38 constructed to emotionally nourish people.
13:40 Yes. So God, you know God has created the
13:43 family, so that we have the role distinction but
13:46 that we shine within our respective roles.
13:48 I'm not being dogmatic about that and I don't
13:50 want you know women that work to feel like
13:52 I'm, you know, you know because,
13:53 condemning them, I'm not at all you know.
13:55 You know I have a very close friend who says
13:59 readily that her husband was the one who was
14:02 the nurturer of their family, she said if my
14:04 children got sick, I just tell them suck it up,
14:08 will you step up by the boot
14:09 straps and get out there. She said it was her
14:11 husband who was the nurturer.
14:12 So as we said these are generalities or trends
14:16 it's not always. It's not always the case and we
14:19 need to not deny the differences between
14:22 men and women but we need to not
14:24 over-accentuate them either.
14:26 You know we need to not pigeonholed men
14:28 and women to certain circumscribed
14:30 behaviors, yeah, because you know they
14:32 are men or they are women, we need to let
14:34 them be who they are, and there is a spectrum,
14:36 so there are exceptions to the rule.
14:39 Another difference between men and
14:41 women in terms of intellectual functioning
14:44 is, we have this big spike, an incidence of
14:47 Autism Spectrum Disorders. There are, you know
14:50 twenty years ago was far less autism than
14:53 there is today, something like I don't
14:55 want to site any incorrect statistics but
14:57 very high levels of autism approaching,
15:01 you know, the level of one in hundred or even
15:04 beyond that today and it was not so 50 years ago.
15:08 More autism, more and more so and people are
15:10 wrestling with this but men more often
15:13 suffered from Autism Spectrum Disorders.
15:17 In fact, this is gonna, perhaps offend
15:19 someone, please don't get offended but autism
15:22 is sometimes called the extreme male brain.
15:26 And the reason it's called that is because
15:28 the part of the brain that is affected in autism is
15:30 the part that deals with communication and
15:34 particularly face to face communication which
15:36 is tends to be very difficult for autistic
15:38 people, and also the relational
15:41 part of the brain. The part of our brain
15:42 that interprets social cues that can sort of
15:46 intuit one's way through social interactions that
15:49 comes very naturally to us, it comes very
15:52 difficult to an autistic person or a person with
15:55 autism I should say. So men are more
15:57 often prone to those Autism Spectrum Disorders.
16:01 And you know it seems like imparts the way the
16:04 male brain works is that there is kind of like,
16:09 my husband calls it in the zone, but they're
16:12 kind of bucks things off and if they are watching
16:15 sports, for example this is not the time to talk to
16:18 them about a relationship problem
16:20 because a man has tendency to at least
16:24 would seem to me to he is addressing one thing
16:27 at a time, would you agree with that? Yes,
16:29 men tend to be more compartmentalized in
16:33 their thinking; they have a harder time
16:35 coming out of whatever zone they're in and
16:37 getting into another zone. So yeah, I would agree
16:39 with that, I think it's overall more difficult
16:42 for a man but again this is just a trend,
16:44 just as a trend, and not a stereotype. Okay.
16:46 So interestingly women are better at reading
16:50 facial expressions and this is research where
16:52 they put faces in front of both men and
16:55 women, and then you're to interpret what you
16:57 think that facial expression means and
16:59 women are accurate more of the times.
17:01 So we're just more intuitive in a social
17:04 situation and this is why you sometimes have
17:07 you know women asking their husbands,
17:08 for instance you know, did you see the way that
17:11 person looked at you and he is pretty much
17:12 oblivious to what that face was saying to him
17:16 but she recognized what that face was saying.
17:18 And so there is a lot of talk after the party that
17:21 goes down between the man and the woman,
17:22 and so they are trying to sort through
17:24 some of those things. This is very interesting
17:26 to me, men have better, this is small differences,
17:30 these are not large differences,
17:32 but on the whole men have better concept
17:35 memory and women have better factual memory.
17:39 That's interesting. Isn't that interesting?
17:41 So I think of a man and a woman and many
17:44 of times I've been in this situation where
17:45 a man and a women together are trying to
17:47 tell me how to get to a certain place,
17:49 and it seems like or they're trying to relate
17:51 maybe an event, okay, for instance.
17:54 And it seems like the woman will be very
17:57 accurate with her facts, you know she will say
17:59 no it was before we are married dear or no
18:03 it was Sheryl you know, and she'll be correcting his
18:07 facts, and he will just wanna get to the point,
18:09 the point is this, because he's really tied
18:12 with the concept and she is more tied to the
18:14 factual information so. I could relate to that?
18:17 As a whole you know, I don't want to be overly
18:20 stereotypical here. By the way men have
18:22 greater IQ variants, isn't that interesting?
18:26 Men, you know have a wider spectrum of
18:29 intelligence levels than women.
18:31 Women tend to collect more in the mean
18:33 of the spectrum, so I thought that
18:36 was interesting. Yes. I don't know what
18:37 to make of that but. But it does seem like
18:40 the male brain is more susceptible to things
18:44 going wrong, don't take that the wrong way
18:48 please, but it just seems like it takes a lot to
18:52 produce a male on the whole, for instance,
18:55 with every subsequent male, the male will tend
19:01 to be two inches shorter, so it seems like
19:04 a male. Okay, every time a woman bears a
19:06 male child, he will on the whole
19:09 be two inches shorter. So if a woman has had
19:12 three children then the third son or three sons,
19:15 the third son could be four inches
19:17 shorter than the first. Yeah, and it isn't
19:20 always the case. Interesting. But the
19:21 trend is that the male child gets shorter with
19:23 each subsequent male. So my point is that it
19:27 takes a lot to make a male, and to make it right.
19:29 It seems like the womb becomes kind of
19:31 exhausted by the creation of a male,
19:34 it's more demanding out of a woman's womb to
19:37 make a male than a female and so that to
19:40 me is why perhaps things tend to go more
19:42 a rye with the building of a male brain,
19:44 just a thought I'm no scientist here but
19:48 I think, that that might be part of what's going
19:50 on, takes a lot out of woman to have a man.
19:52 That's fascinating. So, let's talk about
19:54 emotional differences, not surprisingly because
19:58 of testosterone, men are more prone to physical
20:01 aggression that doesn't surprise you.
20:04 But, doesn't surprise you that women are
20:06 more prone to verbal aggression. Really?
20:08 That's right. It does surprise me.
20:09 Yeah, does that surprise you? It does.
20:11 They are, isn't that sad, yeah.
20:13 Yes, well it's interesting. Yeah.
20:15 But estrogen where as testosterone is, makes
20:20 you know even women who have a high level
20:23 of testosterone can be very aggressive,
20:25 so it's hormonally related but the estrogen
20:29 is making you, that's the emotional swings with
20:34 the estrogen, so women then if they are having
20:37 these estrogen swings can become very
20:39 verbally aggressive, is what you're saying.
20:41 Yeah. It's interesting. So the mood of the,
20:43 you know women can have like labile,
20:45 we call labile mood, up and down mood
20:48 and you are saying that, that can lead them to
20:50 to verbal aggressions sometimes if they get
20:52 frustrated enough. That's interesting.
20:54 Yeah my husband would agree with that.
20:56 But I tried to be really nice to him and I'm
20:58 most of the time, and I've learned when I feel
21:00 like getting not so nice to him to just
21:02 walk out of the house. Take like a twenty
21:04 minute walk, and sometimes just
21:06 oxygenating your brain and getting sometime
21:09 alone with Jesus can just keep you from
21:11 taking off, so we need to learn as women how
21:15 to use our words. How much of that is
21:18 governed by temperament though because there
21:20 are different temperaments.
21:21 That's right. For example I mean,
21:23 I'm, one thing that JD always says about me,
21:25 is that I'm extremely even tempered. Really?
21:29 In my life time, I think, I could count on one
21:32 hand how many times I've lost my temper.
21:34 Really? So I'm very even tempered.
21:37 But that has to do more with, I mean, is it brain
21:41 or the temperament or what does the brain and
21:43 the temperament have to do with one and another?
21:45 There's a lot of, you know factors that sort
21:48 of flow together in the human being,
21:51 you know, there's environment, there's
21:52 the way you grew up. If you grew up in a home
21:55 where, that even temperament
21:58 was modeled by your parents
22:00 and by your family. Heavenly days you
22:01 know. With the opposite, really.
22:02 Totally the opposite. Totally the opposite,
22:04 isn't that interesting?
22:05 Maybe I was overcompensating.
22:06 Or the other, yeah you could be
22:07 overcompensating, or you could be a defense
22:09 mechanism that you're afraid to be emotional
22:11 or it could be that you just have the
22:13 genetics of a calmer person.
22:16 You know, human beings are very complex.
22:18 You know, I have people that I've had you
22:20 know, 40 and 50 hour long sessions with and
22:23 I still don't have them figured out and I'm still
22:26 learning things about them everyday, I mean
22:27 people are so complex, very,
22:30 very interesting stuff. Not surprisingly well,
22:33 maybe surprisingly but men are more prone to
22:36 psychotic disorders, women are on the
22:39 whole more prone to what we might call
22:41 neurotic disorders. What I mean by
22:44 neurotic disorders are disorders that effect the
22:47 mood for instance, depression, anxiety,
22:49 women are much more prone to develop for
22:52 instance major depressive disorder,
22:54 of course that happens to both, but women are
22:56 more prone and they have a higher rate of that.
22:59 Men on the other hand have a more apt to
23:01 developed disorders that have to do with
23:03 erratic or even aggressive behavior like
23:06 antisocial personality disorder where there is
23:08 you know violent behavior manifested or
23:12 oppositional defiant or other types of disorders
23:14 that involve aggression or psychotic episodes
23:18 where men you know, where individuals will
23:20 lose their reasons so to speak.
23:22 See and this sounds to me very hormonally
23:25 driven, I heard that actions of the hormones
23:27 on the brain. You know, I can't believe
23:29 this but we are down just to a couple of
23:31 minutes here. Oh, no. And I would really
23:33 like to ask you to kind of start putting this
23:37 together as far as we're very well aware that
23:42 men and women are quite different and even
23:44 we might say we celebrate those differences,
23:47 Viva La Difference. Amen. But, the Lord
23:50 did say that when He put us together,
23:54 He said the two shall become one, let's talk
23:56 about from the Biblical perspective.
23:58 Yeah, I really love what Genesis 1:27 says that,
24:03 God made man in His own image, male
24:06 and female created He them that word image
24:09 is tzelem in the Hebrew and it means
24:11 a representative figure, so when God got ready
24:15 to represent Himself through the human race,
24:18 we were created for His glory, Isaiah 43 says we
24:20 are created to be like Him in character to
24:23 represent Him to the universe, He wanted to
24:26 create an order of being that was so much like
24:29 Him that He could point to us and say look at
24:31 them and you will see Me, that's why He
24:33 created us, that's the purpose for which we
24:35 are created, do you agree with that?
24:36 Absolutely. Amen. And so when He got ready
24:39 to do that, He made the male and female, and so
24:43 it's male and female together
24:45 that represent God. Male alone is not a
24:48 complete representation of God, female alone is
24:51 not a complete representation of God,
24:54 we need to come together, work together
24:55 in spite of our differences whether it
24:57 be in the context of a marriage or whether it
25:00 would be in the context of the church, whether
25:02 it be in the context of a ministry, we need to
25:05 work together and complement one and
25:08 another, celebrate our differences without
25:11 being overly stereotypical, enjoying you know the
25:14 differences between men and women,
25:15 and not be shocked by them but on the other
25:18 hand not to be shocked when the rules are broken.
25:20 And I think because of the differences between
25:23 men and women, the communications is so
25:27 different among the men and women, yes,
25:28 you know I always tell women, when I grow
25:30 out, I'll say if I am just speaking to women
25:32 only, yeah, please learn when you are talking to
25:35 your husband to give him the bullet points
25:38 just give him. Exactly. You know, all he wants
25:41 is the bottom line. He doesn't wanna know
25:44 if you went to the baby shower, all the presents
25:46 she got, the name of everybody who is there
25:48 and how the gifts were wrapped etc,
25:50 but he's just asking if you had a good time,
25:53 now if he ask for more details provide him but
25:55 that's a rare occasion. That's right. And so we
25:58 need to learn how to be happy with the
26:03 differences, and not to expect, you know,
26:05 a woman can't expect her husband to talk to
26:09 her the same way that she might talk with
26:11 her best friend. Do I have time for just
26:12 a quick illustration? Quick. Women tend to
26:15 say, aha, aha, when they're listening to one
26:17 and other more and they do more face to face
26:19 communication than men, men tend to look
26:20 away and talk like, while they're looking
26:22 away or something, women look at each
26:24 other and they make more sounds to
26:26 encourage one and another.
26:28 Used to be really hard for me to talk to guys
26:29 because they wouldn't do that and I would feel
26:31 like they were stonewalling me,
26:33 but they are not, they are just different.
26:34 They are just different. That's right. Jennifer,
26:36 it has been wonderful to have you back again
26:39 and I just thank you for bringing
26:42 this delightful topic. It's lot of fun, isn't it?
26:44 It is fun, and it's just good to know that it's
26:47 okay to be different, we can't expect our
26:49 husbands to be like us and, that's right.
26:50 Men you know that we are not gonna be like you.
26:53 Well thank you so much again for joining
26:55 us and we just want to thank each one of you
26:57 at home for joining us, hope you have enjoyed
27:00 today and hope that you will celebrate the
27:02 difference of your spouse, your friend,
27:05 whoever it is that God has made to be so special.