Issues and Answers

Social Networking:its' Impact And Pitfalls

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Ernest Staats


Series Code: IAA

Program Code: IAA000330

00:30 Hello and welcome again to "Issues and Answers."
00:33 We are so glad that you could be with us today.
00:35 You know, we're going to be talking about
00:38 a very current topic
00:39 and that is social networking on the computer.
00:43 We're gonna talk about its impact,
00:45 we're gonna talk about the pitfalls.
00:48 And when I'm talking about social networking
00:49 I'm talking about things and chat rooms,
00:52 Myspace and all of that stuff that seems
00:55 so foreign to many of us older adults
00:59 but that the younger generations,
01:01 I mean, this is second nature for them.
01:03 This is another life if you will for them.
01:06 And I was thinking about this program
01:09 and the scripture that came to my mind
01:10 was 1 Corinthians 15:3.
01:14 Here's what Paul writes,
01:15 "Do not be deceived and misled,
01:18 bad company corrupts good morals."
01:21 And parents, this a program you need to watch
01:24 if you have teenagers, young adults in your home
01:29 or even those that have gotten outside your home
01:31 just so that you may have to relate with them
01:33 and may be can give them some spiritual guidance.
01:35 And it is my pleasure to introduce to you
01:38 returning for a third time,
01:40 actually, this is the fourth time
01:42 you've been on 3ABN,
01:43 third time on "Issues and Answers"
01:45 and this is Earnest Staats.
01:47 And Ernest, we are so glad
01:48 that you are back with us. Thank you.
01:50 And you are the IT director which is Information Technology
01:53 director for the Georgia-Cumberland Academy
01:58 in Calhoun, Georgina.
01:59 How long have you been there?
02:00 We've been there nine years in the area.
02:02 I've been at the school for six. Okay.
02:05 And as you said you've got all these degrees
02:08 and all these little alphabets soup behind your name,
02:10 we're not gonna go into that,
02:12 but, you know, someone gave you
02:13 some really good advice.
02:15 You said that you are a techie person,
02:18 you know, bits and bites and zeros and digits
02:23 but someone gave you the advice
02:26 don't look at this as just technology but what?
02:30 But as a ministry and that's where I've felt like
02:34 I have a potential ministry within the security area
02:36 'cause this is an area where
02:37 I would have studied a lot. Okay.
02:39 And I've spent a lot of time
02:40 and that was Robert Henley from Southeastern Conference
02:42 first came up with the concept and recommended it.
02:45 Then Nancy Lamoreaux from the division really encouraged
02:47 and she started asking me to go around
02:49 and she through the division paid for me go
02:52 and visit other people, start talking about security
02:54 and family safety and online safety for
02:56 not only families but for ministries,
02:58 for churches, for organizations.
03:00 So tell us about, as I said someone
03:03 so awful is--
03:05 about some of the social networking places
03:07 and what they're like, what their names are. Okay.
03:11 Social networking is just basically a place
03:12 where you can go hang your hat if you will.
03:14 You put your picture up there.
03:16 You pull up kind of music you like.
03:18 You talk about things that happen in your daily life
03:21 but you let other people comment on it too.
03:23 So then they may talk about whatever you're talking about.
03:26 So it's just kind of an interactive community
03:28 where people talk about your life.
03:30 And several of the big ones
03:31 Myspace is one of the largest one,
03:34 is the largest one, excuse me.
03:35 And I just started, how long ago?
03:37 I mean it just came, I don't know.
03:39 It seems like it's just only been in the last year
03:42 so that I've been hearing Myspace
03:43 and all of a sudden, that's all you hear. Right.
03:45 It's been out for five or six years. Has it been, okay?
03:48 So that I remember, it might be before that,
03:50 I don't want to know their inception that
03:51 but it is just, it is a phenomenon
03:54 that is really taking the world by a storm.
03:55 For example, they have 150,000 new users a day.
04:00 You know, they get over 13 million views a day
04:03 which is twice the number of Google.
04:05 You know they have 4,475 per second.
04:08 And Google is one of the largest, or the largest--
04:11 It is the largest search engine.
04:12 Search engine on the internet
04:14 and Myspace has double the hits.
04:16 Double. That's amazing.
04:18 But let me ask you something,
04:20 with all that has been talked about,
04:24 the safety issues and chat rooms
04:26 and the predator's who go online looking and for victims,
04:31 you know, they're trolling if you will.
04:33 With all that's been talked about
04:36 and people who are being educated,
04:38 aren't people being safer or more careful about
04:42 what they put online?
04:44 I wish that was the case.
04:46 Some statistics from 2007 which were very alarming,
04:48 let me just share one of them,
04:49 96% of students between ages 9 and 17
04:54 have Myspace accounts. 96%?
04:58 96, that's between ages of 9 and 17. That's amazing.
05:01 You're not even allowed to be
05:02 on Myspace unless you're 13. Huh.
05:05 So all the wards that are 13
05:06 and under are lying about their age. Oh.
05:09 And that's something you find very common.
05:11 I've gone to Adventist schools before
05:12 and I've asked the kids, fifth graders,
05:14 how many of you have a Myspace account?
05:16 More than half have raised their hands.
05:18 And this is fifth grade?
05:19 Fifth graders, they're not 13. Uh-huh.
05:22 So, and you know I have sixth graders
05:23 and I've talked to them and they're not old enough.
05:26 Some of them are not old enough
05:27 to have the Myspace and they already have them.
05:28 And I even talked down to third graders,
05:30 I know one third grader that has
05:32 a Myspace account is very active on Myspace.
05:34 So this is someone--
05:36 a third grader that's obviously little mature for their age
05:38 and they can actually come out
05:40 and keep up with
05:42 the activities that are going on that.
05:45 So if, are they being,
05:48 they're not being careful then is what you saying.
05:50 Even though the parents are warning their kids
05:53 and they hear these things in the news about predators,
05:56 those putting up information that.
05:58 What kind of information is dangerous
06:00 to put on these social networks?
06:03 Statistics of a 2007 studies showed that
06:06 more than 50% of the kids were online
06:08 putting their address, the school they go to,
06:12 sometimes their and I think it was about
06:13 just under 50% were putting their cell phone numbers.
06:17 So this is leaving them open to be a target
06:21 for predator to shoot down and literally get them.
06:24 In one situation I was involved with
06:27 when I was up in one school.
06:28 There was a young lady there and she was over 13
06:31 but she talked about that she was closing the restaurant
06:33 at night by herself,
06:35 and she told when her closing shift was done.
06:38 So and she--you know talked about the restaurant
06:40 she worked at, she was the only person there.
06:42 I mean, if someone want to rob the restaurant
06:44 all the information they needed
06:46 was right there and she would have,
06:47 I'm sure had to be hurt in the process.
06:49 You know, I sent off hey, you need to get this off,
06:52 you need to get this off your account,
06:53 this is why I explained to her.
06:55 You know, you didn't even think about it.
06:57 Yes, so there are just things that to them
06:59 because they don't have those devious minds,
07:02 they are not thinking
07:04 that the information they're putting up,
07:05 they just think these are facts in my life.
07:08 And youth have the idea that they're immortal.
07:11 You know, young kids, usually when you get older,
07:13 you try to mature out of that.
07:14 Some of us don't mature out as fast as others
07:16 but at the same time as you are going through that,
07:19 teenagers especially don't have that idea
07:21 that anything bad will really happen to them.
07:23 Yeah, right.
07:24 So what kind of an impact, a social impact
07:28 besides this predator and the dangers of that,
07:32 what kind of the social impact does it have
07:34 being on this online networking
07:38 and the social chat rooms and things?
07:42 Some of the social impacts some of its very positive.
07:44 There are some people who just,
07:46 they're really soft-spoken, their mild.
07:48 They don't feel like they can speak out in class
07:50 and the social network gives them a place to do that.
07:53 You know, it allows them to communicate
07:54 and share their fears and share their things
07:56 which sometimes that's good,
07:57 sometimes that makes them little more vulnerable.
08:00 But at the same time it does allow them
08:01 and it can enhance communication skills
08:03 with direction and guidance. Okay.
08:06 I always say with direction and guidance
08:08 because parents seem to be a part of that,
08:09 because if they're not,
08:10 their English is not getting any better,
08:12 their grammar is not getting any better.
08:13 You know, but if you there to help them--
08:15 I think text messaging is gonna ruin our English grammar
08:19 because I noticed now that people are beginning to email
08:22 and that text message lingo and you think oh, please. Right.
08:27 And it originally started with a bunch of geek cads
08:29 as I call them and it was called leetspeak,
08:31 you know, which was another way of saying geekspeak.
08:34 And you know there's whole another language
08:35 and that's kind of-- in cell phones you write
08:37 have changed a little bit and it's changing our,
08:40 you know, the Webster's dictionary,
08:41 is kind of a living document
08:43 because it is constantly changing. Oh, yes.
08:44 Google is now a verb and a noun. Yeah.
08:47 So when you said I googled something,
08:49 you know, everyone knows, you may not actually used Google
08:52 but you researched it. Right.
08:53 So and that's way it is changing our society.
08:56 So let's be really specific,
08:59 what are some of the risky behaviors
09:01 that people are doing online
09:04 in these social networking scenarios?
09:07 30% of the kids that our poll found that
09:09 they were talking to people they did not know
09:11 who they were through social networking.
09:13 And I mean, there is Myspace,
09:15 there's Friendster, there is--
09:16 I mean, Livewire, there is I mean,
09:19 Live Spaces, Cyworld,
09:21 I mean, they go on and on and on.
09:23 There's a whole bunch of amount there.
09:25 But as these people are doing,
09:26 now they're talking with people they don't know.
09:28 They're posting pictures,
09:30 sometimes, inappropriate pictures,
09:31 you know, if you go like we've talked before
09:34 you try buying something off the wreck,
09:35 you look at it say, maybe that's a little bit edgy,
09:37 you know, maybe I wouldn't
09:39 but you put that same picture online then all of a sudden,
09:41 it takes a different feel to it.
09:42 And I want to just backup here
09:44 because a while ago you said that
09:45 you told a little girl to take this off
09:47 about the restaurant closing,
09:49 but even though you deleted,
09:51 anything that's been on the internet,
09:53 once it's on the internet, even though, you've deleted it,
09:56 it is still archived somewhere
09:59 where someone could go pick up the information,
10:01 isn't that true?
10:02 Most of it yes and it's through
10:03 what's called World Wide Web archive
10:05 and you can ask it, but so once you post it,
10:07 you don't know who's downloaded it. Yeah.
10:09 And they put it on their computer,
10:10 on their jump drive
10:11 so it can be reposted somewhere else,
10:13 it can be shared
10:14 and the department of Office of Juvenile Justice,
10:17 they have found that this is a highly motivated group
10:20 the people who are into cyber predators
10:22 so they share this information with each other. Yes.
10:24 And they share the searches, they share the contacts,
10:26 so that's something you need to realize that.
10:28 But then with young people
10:30 they're posting their cell phones,
10:31 they're putting their school,
10:32 you know, events and addresses and names, you know.
10:35 I went online and I posted that
10:36 I graduated from Campion Academy
10:38 and I was able to find several people
10:40 who I haven't seen for years.
10:41 And we talked and it was a great time.
10:43 You know, gives me excuse to save money
10:45 not go back to a reunion,
10:46 at least that's what I tell my wife.
10:48 But you know there are so many aspects to it
10:51 but at the same time there is also some downsides
10:54 because if there are kids
10:55 and they are posting their schools
10:56 then the person or person who wanted to harm them
10:59 or do something that was inappropriate,
11:01 it's a lot, you've given him
11:02 a lot more information to do that. Okay.
11:04 So what can parents do
11:05 if they find out that their children
11:08 are participating in risky behavior?
11:12 If they've been maybe posting some personal information,
11:15 talking to strangers which is always risky behavior,
11:18 not just in person
11:19 but it's particularly on the internet,
11:22 it is very risky.
11:25 One of the things as a parent as we've mentioned before
11:28 when I have been on your shows
11:29 we got to open the lines of communication.
11:31 Its imperative that as parents and children,
11:33 we start talking and making sure that they understand that--
11:36 its because we love them, because we care about them,
11:39 because we want to see them grow old
11:42 and not have an early grave
11:43 and not have something horrible happen to them
11:45 or just have unfortunate event.
11:47 By once we start communication, then when you start
11:49 being a part of the Myspace world
11:52 we need to-- I suggest well,
11:53 parents to have a Myspace account
11:55 and link to your child's account
11:57 and kind of see what the information is there,
11:59 several vendors out there, on safespacers
12:02 and there's other ones out there,
12:03 if you do a search on Google,
12:04 you can search for Myspace tracking.
12:06 And there's companies out there
12:08 that will email you and give you alerts
12:09 if you kid got something on there
12:10 that might be inappropriate. Huh.
12:12 And there are some of the companies
12:14 who even go so far as to comment back to your child
12:17 and say, hey, I saw those on your Myspace,
12:19 this doesn't look good but it's not your parent
12:20 than telling the child, hey, take this off.
12:23 So there are some companies that's a community based thing.
12:26 How does a parent find those type of companies?
12:29 If you go to Google,
12:30 I mean, there's ones called safespacers,
12:33 and you can go to Google and type Myspace tracking.
12:36 Myspace tracking. Myspace tracking.
12:39 And then there will be able to see
12:40 there are several different companies that are out there,
12:41 and there's new ones coming out all the time. Okay.
12:43 That will help the parents understand,
12:45 okay, maybe, if they don't feel comfortable to technology,
12:48 here's something that can help them. Okay, okay.
12:50 Now what about downloading? What do you recommend?
12:55 Not to? Okay, why?
12:57 'Cause that is the only thing is downloading.
13:01 Because and I've seen it done with
13:03 even religious organizations.
13:04 They say while we're doing this program
13:06 for the Lord, so it's okay.
13:08 But if you have it paid for the legal rights,
13:10 it's still illegal. Okay.
13:11 And you're still costing someone.
13:13 A Christian artist gets downloaded illegally
13:15 as much as a secular artist
13:17 which is unfortunate state
13:18 of Christian affairs in my opinion. Yes, it is.
13:21 And we are seeing more and more of that when--
13:24 with those downloads, come viruses,
13:26 come worms, come inappropriate content,
13:28 pictures and other things.
13:30 And they're doing this specifically trying to target
13:33 and get their hooks into the young people. Okay.
13:35 Now beside the, I mean,
13:38 there are internet filters that parents can put on,
13:41 let's talk about that for a moment.
13:44 When you put an internet filter on,
13:46 that's not a cure all.
13:48 There is hundreds of ways to bypass filters.
13:51 And if you go on my website,
13:53 it's not its not rocket science and its not new to the kids.
13:55 Okay, now I believe last program
13:58 we've talked about your website
13:59 but I like to get that again
14:01 and his website is,
14:11 and if you go to Ernest website,
14:14 you can get some information
14:17 that he's got even a pictorial thing
14:19 that will take you through and walk you through
14:22 and learn about these things and find,
14:25 I mean, I encourage all parents
14:27 who know that your kids are using the internet.
14:29 If you have kids, they are, whether you know or do not.
14:31 So I encourage you to go there
14:33 and look for that free information. Okay, so.
14:37 With that-- like you've said
14:39 I've got narrative powerpoints
14:40 they can sit there and listen and watch and learn.
14:42 There's lots of resources on there
14:44 that it can start open the conversations for parents,
14:48 and they need to make sure that their child understands
14:50 whatever they put on Myspace or something is not private.
14:53 It's being used by all the Fortune 500 companies
14:56 and job references now.
14:57 It's called the shadowresume,
14:59 it's what it's called and it's your online life.
15:02 So if your child in other words took spring break
15:07 let's say they are in college and they took spring break
15:10 and they went down to Cayman Islands
15:13 or the Bahamas or Florida or somewhere
15:16 and did some wild and crazy things,
15:18 just went do some wild and crazy parties
15:20 and came back and posted that on the internet.
15:22 What you're saying is when they graduate from college,
15:26 the interviewer or the company that's interviewing them
15:29 will be doing research
15:31 and looking at that shadow resume
15:34 and that could make or break
15:35 whether or not they get the opportunity
15:37 to have the job offer to them?
15:39 Not only that but colleges are also now
15:41 and public universities are even looking at Myspace profiles
15:44 and rejecting people
15:46 based upon their online profiles. Mercy.
15:48 'Cause if they're seeing that they're holding
15:49 illegal drugs in their hands,
15:51 they're talking about smoking pot
15:52 or something like that on their website
15:55 which is something that's talked about pretty frequently.
15:57 And are drinking or underage drinking,
15:59 lot of them will reject them straight up
16:01 from that college or university.
16:03 So that child doesn't realize
16:05 that they think they're being cool
16:07 and they're affecting the rest of their life.
16:09 And that's true and there's been case, documented cases.
16:12 There where this two young people in the Northwest.
16:14 They were young, they were under the age of 18,
16:16 they sent inappropriate pictures of themselves to each other,
16:19 a boyfriend and girlfriend type thing.
16:21 A parent found it, they reported it to police,
16:23 both of those children are now registered
16:25 sex offenders for the rest of their life.
16:27 Oh, mercy, how sad.
16:29 You know, they made a bad mistake
16:32 but that's going to go with them
16:33 and sex offender registry goes with them
16:35 for the rest of their life. How sad.
16:37 Now we've talked a lot about predators
16:40 and the different things that impact
16:43 this social networks can have
16:44 but let's talk about this for a moment, bullying.
16:48 Because there's a lot of bullying
16:50 that's going on the internet
16:52 and anybody can put anything on the internet.
16:55 You know, I remember the first time
16:56 that I went to Wikipedia
16:58 which is an encyclopedia. Right.
17:00 And I thought, oh, cool,
17:02 I was looking up this information and I grab it,
17:05 I'd been here two or three times
17:06 before I realized that anything,
17:08 anyone can post anything to that.
17:11 You don't know what the accuracy is.
17:14 And a lot of times because we find something online,
17:17 we trusting that it's accurate.
17:20 People can post all kind of lies,
17:22 or even all kinds of reputations.
17:25 So let's talk about
17:26 this form of bullying that's coming up online.
17:30 It's actually growing almost exponentially.
17:33 And it's really alarming that's even happening
17:34 more than the cyber predators to be honest. Really?
17:37 They're finding and its having a greater impact.
17:39 I mean, we've started naming of cases
17:40 warning for mob where a young man hung himself
17:42 and, you know, there's other ones--
17:44 different states where people were involved
17:46 and the kids committed suicide because what has happened.
17:48 Its people all types will turn to these
17:50 social networking sites or online chat rooms
17:52 where they can type and talk to each other for a refuge
17:55 because they're having some type of social difficulty.
17:57 Well then if they go into this place looking for a refuge
18:00 and they're being beat up verbally,
18:03 you know, on being said horrible things about
18:05 then has a lot stronger impact on them.
18:08 Well, and when you're young,
18:09 and say you're 13 years old and have a little snit,
18:14 little argument with your best friend
18:15 and that best friend gets on there
18:17 and posts some kind of a tacky lie about you,
18:19 it's very damaging to a young psyche.
18:22 It is very much and they're finding
18:24 that there is lot more control trying to happen
18:26 between boyfriend and girlfriends,
18:28 even on cell phones, text messaging each other
18:31 through the night, wanting to know who they are with,
18:34 wanting to know what friends they're with,
18:35 or why aren't you with me if they have to be home
18:37 while you're studying
18:38 as much as you know every 10 minutes.
18:40 You know, which then the kids are having hard time studying
18:42 'cause they're constantly text messaging
18:43 their boyfriend or girlfriend and going back and forth.
18:46 Well, I saw in the news recently
18:47 and I'm sure you saw this about
18:50 in England I believe that it was they called nomophobia
18:53 or is that what they call it?
18:54 And that's where they can't be without their cell phone
18:57 and text messaging and I was surprised
19:00 the number of adult people on that interview that said,
19:02 yeah, I sleep with it,
19:05 sometimes I text all through the night.
19:06 And you are thinking, get a life.
19:10 But it's just a phenomenon
19:12 that we don't really understand
19:14 but it's not going to go away, is it?
19:16 I don't see, going away and actually
19:17 one of the really interesting statistics to me
19:20 when I focus on youth because I work in an academy,
19:22 they have found online internet addiction
19:25 is really strong in two major areas in life.
19:28 The teenage realm and the emptiness realm.
19:32 The emptiness realm,
19:33 the internet addiction is going through the rough
19:35 and they were surprised by that.
19:37 That recent studies that's come out
19:38 in last couple of years.
19:39 And when we say internet addiction
19:40 we're not talking about pornography addiction,
19:42 we're talking about just having to be online
19:45 and be connected and feeling like
19:47 your life is over if you're not.
19:49 And I tease my dad about
19:50 getting three different forms in the same newscast.
19:52 I say, you heard it twice, you don't need to hear it
19:53 three or four or five times.
19:55 You know, we joke and tease about that.
19:56 And where with my dad it was more TV,
19:59 with some of the other people
20:00 and actually some people of my dad's age,
20:02 it is becoming, it's shifting from TV now to the internet.
20:06 And they're just-- and even if they're doing
20:07 ministry stuff, they're just constantly on.
20:10 They don't get unplug.
20:11 My wife and I try and take a trip
20:13 at least once every year
20:14 where we got to a camp where there's no cell phone,
20:16 there is no TV, there is no internet. Yes.
20:18 And we do that on purpose to detoxify. Right.
20:21 You know, just spend family time
20:22 with our little girl and have some fun. Yeah.
20:24 It's a bit of shock for me,
20:26 I don't have to get used to it the first day.
20:27 I have to unwind and say, okay, no laptop. Yeah.
20:31 You know before we get to kind of wrapping up
20:35 much of what we've discussed
20:37 the thing that I wanted to ask you about is
20:40 kind of fail to do this.
20:42 When we were talking about
20:43 how to protect our children from internet predators,
20:48 is it possible to protect our children
20:50 from internet bullying?
20:53 I would like to say yes but I don't feel like
20:55 that be accurate. Yeah.
20:57 You know, it happens through someway,
20:59 it happens not just on internet,
21:00 it happens through cell phones,
21:01 it happens through, if you have
21:03 the lines of communication that your child realizes
21:05 if someone is not treating them appropriately,
21:07 they need to come to you.
21:09 Legal, they will--
21:10 if it's a kid that's being bullied by another kid,
21:12 local law enforcement will take that very serious. All right.
21:15 So if that's happening,
21:17 you need to have an open communication
21:18 between you and your child so that we can say
21:20 we need to talk about this,
21:21 we need to take this to next level,
21:22 talk to the school, talk to the legal if necessary,
21:25 you know, talk to the law officers
21:26 and say they are saying these horrible things about my child.
21:29 She is being bullied
21:31 because they take bullying very seriously.
21:33 And part of what happens is because what can--
21:35 your child can become a victim
21:37 but then lots of times through their victim status
21:39 they will also become an offender.
21:41 Because they want to get back the people
21:44 and that's where we are trying to teach
21:46 the same values that we have in real life.
21:47 We want to have in this online life
21:50 whether its internet, cell phones, or whatever.
21:52 I think our floor director was today telling us that
21:55 there was a case locally,
21:56 or maybe not locally it's was on the seen in news
21:59 and various news stations about an online bullying.
22:03 A case where somebody posted something to rogatory
22:06 and then the little girl's kidnapped,
22:09 the one that had posted the remark
22:11 and actually video taped then beating her up and all.
22:14 So this is really prevalent
22:17 and it's growing, isn't it? It is growing.
22:20 Like I said its growing more than--
22:21 actually-- on the good news is that,
22:23 actually sexual solicitation online is going down. Really?
22:28 Which is great and you know
22:29 but the aggressive mess is going up a bit
22:32 and the online bullying has more than compensated.
22:35 So online bullying is starting to happen,
22:37 it's not happening more than
22:39 online solicitation of inappropriate,
22:41 you know, action or pictures but it is really taking off.
22:45 So in a bottom line, if you think about,
22:49 you know, we don't think that technology is evil. Right.
22:52 But the impact that these media is having on us,
22:56 how do we protect or how do we--
23:04 how do we let our children grow up in this world
23:10 and encourage them to grow up safely?
23:13 That's a good question.
23:16 My best answer that I can think off lots of prayer. Okay.
23:20 Making sure that your child is grounded in a belief system,
23:24 making sure that your child
23:26 takes their belief system with them online
23:29 so don't encourage them,
23:30 if they download illegal Christian music,
23:32 go buy the CD and say we're going to be,
23:36 you know, Christian about everything we do in our lives.
23:39 We're gonna honor the Lord in everything we do.
23:41 Make sure that they understand
23:43 that your value system transcends
23:44 what media meets on. That's good.
23:46 Make sure that you are involved
23:48 when you're talking and communicating with them.
23:51 Yeah, that's good.
23:52 And as you do that, then I think you're gonna start
23:54 opening the doors for two way communication
23:55 and you can share and you can then start rooting
23:58 some of these barriers that often times come up
24:00 in the teenagers years
24:01 between the parent and the child.
24:03 How are you working with your daughter?
24:05 She's 4 years old and you said
24:07 she's already online going to
24:11 How do you see--
24:13 are you going to we've already discussed
24:16 in the previous program that you said
24:17 it's really not wise just to say, okay, this is dangerous,
24:20 so I'm gonna unplug you from it
24:21 because the world is going there and you even recommend
24:25 and are trying to reach teenagers
24:27 and ministry that we use this medium
24:31 because this is the medium that's there
24:34 and it's not going away
24:35 and this is what this generation is growing up on
24:38 and we really have turned to corner. We have.
24:40 So how are you going to--
24:43 what parameters are you gonna use
24:45 as you view your own daughter
24:47 as far as time, that's a lot of in all of that?
24:51 Probably, I'm gonna make sure that
24:52 we're involved in outside activities. Okay.
24:55 That we unplug detoxify, I enjoy rock climbing,
24:58 my wife enjoys quilting.
25:00 You know, she's playing
25:01 and learning both about both aspects of our lives.
25:04 You know, I taught archery at summer camp.
25:06 You know summer camps are great thing for kids,
25:08 but I recommend a summer camp
25:09 where they're not allowed to bring headphones. Right.
25:11 'Cause they're some out there.
25:12 They need to unplug and see if there's a real life
25:14 and be involved in that.
25:16 We are involved with her life.
25:17 Right now, she's on the computer, we are with her.
25:20 She's not even if it's,
25:21 you know, because there's always internet,
25:22 she can click through even as a four year old,
25:24 you know, she navigates Norgren
25:26 or some of these other education sites
25:27 or some of the Christian sites, she can do it by herself.
25:29 Yes, at four.
25:30 At four, so at the same time, I'm not gonna just say
25:34 I know she's good I'm gonna use it as a babysitter.
25:36 Internet can never be a babysitter.
25:38 Nor can television, you know, they just recently
25:40 came out with a study
25:41 after all these years that they have been saying that
25:43 your children will be smarter if they watch TV,
25:46 they're learning that the more TV
25:47 you watch between the ages of just newborn
25:52 and to I think four and saying that
25:55 your brain loses its ability
25:58 to have that synapts connectivity
26:01 and really process of full thoughts.
26:03 So that's interesting.
26:04 Well, if you think about all the images,
26:06 they are over stimulated. Yes.
26:08 For example, I basically had
26:10 a technology workshop with my kids
26:11 and we were online
26:12 playing games, it was a safe game,
26:14 there was no first person shooting or anything like.
26:15 It was a race car game.
26:17 We are watching the super bowl
26:19 and we at the same time running around with,
26:20 you know, little kind of like Nerf guns
26:23 and shooting each other all at the same time.
26:25 For them that was normal.
26:28 That was a normal mentality,
26:29 we're doing three or four different things at once.
26:31 Okay, so let's wrap this up real quick,
26:33 we got a minute.
26:34 What should parents specifically remember to do?
26:37 You need to remember be a part of your child's life.
26:40 You need to remember to realize that yourself that
26:42 you don't want to become a spiritual statistic. Okay.
26:44 So you want to make sure that
26:45 your spending time with the word.
26:47 Make sure your child is grounded
26:48 in the same philosophies that you are.
26:51 And just make sure that not only is the communications open
26:53 but that the child understands
26:55 and that they need to take on your belief system. Okay.
26:58 And limit the time so that we can
27:01 keep the kids busy beyond the screens
27:03 where they've got some kind of something to do.
27:05 And talk to your children about what they're doing
27:08 and let them know that you care
27:09 and that you love them.
27:11 And we want to thank you
27:12 so much, Ernest, for coming back.
27:15 This has been very informative.
27:17 I know that I've learned some things
27:19 and you kind of bringing me out.
27:21 I'm one of those generations that--
27:24 I'm very active on the internet and I understand that
27:26 but I certainly don't understand the darker side of it.
27:29 So I hope that you've learned something from this
27:31 and I hope that you are going to--
27:34 for you that are grandparents
27:36 even I encourage you
27:37 to learn something about the internet,
27:39 learn how to connect with your grandchildren
27:44 and what they're doing online.
27:45 Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
27:48 the love of the Father
27:49 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.
27:51 Thank you, so much for joining us today.


Revised 2014-12-17