Issues and Answers

Cyber Predators And Bullying - What To Do?

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Ernest Staats


Series Code: IAA

Program Code: IAA000329

00:30 Hello I'm Shelley Quinn
00:31 and welcome again to "Issues and Answers."
00:33 It's always our delight to come into your home
00:35 and talk about issues that are affecting us as Christians
00:41 and just us as human beings.
00:43 And we are very happy to have someone here today
00:46 to give us some very important answers
00:49 on the issue of cyber bullying and cyber predators.
00:54 And that's talking about what's going on in the internet.
00:57 You know, Paul wrote to the Corinthians
01:00 and he says to them in 2 Corinthians 2:11
01:04 that to keep Satan from-- he's talking about
01:08 how to keep Satan from getting the advantage of us.
01:10 And he says, "We are not ignorant of his devices."
01:15 We have got to learn.
01:17 The only way you can be not ignorant is to be knowledgeable.
01:21 And there's so many of us
01:23 who are really not knowledgeable
01:25 when it comes to internet predators
01:27 and internet bully-- bullying
01:29 and how we can protect ourselves.
01:31 But today joining us again
01:33 and we are just so glad
01:35 to have you come back, Ernest. Thank you.
01:37 This is Ernest Staats
01:38 and you are the information technology director
01:42 for the Georgia-Cumberland Academy
01:44 in Calhoun, Georgia. That's correct.
01:46 And you don't sound like you're from Georgia. I'm not.
01:49 Where are you from originally?
01:51 Originally born in Mount Vernon, Ohio. Okay.
01:53 And then moved to New Jersey
01:54 and then my parents who came out
01:55 and as we moved to Colorado. Okay.
01:57 Colorado is what I call home. All right.
01:59 So I was gonna say you don't have that Georgia accent.
02:02 You know, I come from--
02:04 well, it's not important but from the south.
02:07 And when I get around Mollie Steenson
02:09 who's our general manger
02:11 and she's got that Alabama accent.
02:13 And the two of us get together
02:14 and it just gets thicker and thicker.
02:16 So we have to be so careful.
02:18 So before we dive into this topic of cyber predators
02:23 and bullying and what we can do.
02:26 You know, this is very alarming,
02:28 there's some very unsavory things
02:33 that are happening out there.
02:34 What is the number one thing
02:36 that you want to make us aware of?
02:38 That it's not rocket science.
02:41 But most of the time parents get really worried
02:43 and say, "I'm so worried about what's online
02:45 and my kid being, you know, preyed upon."
02:48 But I always tell them if you are involved
02:49 with your children's life, you got to know
02:51 there's some red flags going off. Okay.
02:53 So as long as you're involved with their real life
02:56 and their online life, then you can rest,
02:59 I think a lot easier at night.
03:01 But if you're not involved,
03:02 if you aren't involved in their real life
03:04 and not in their online life
03:05 then this is the time to start saying, "Hey,
03:08 I know your friends from school,
03:09 I like to know some of your online friends
03:11 and just I want to be a part of your life
03:12 all the way around." All right.
03:15 And that's, you know, it's very difficult,
03:17 there are some parents
03:18 that really know very little about the internet.
03:21 But you're saying that parents need to be educated
03:23 and they, they got to learn the ways
03:26 that they can protect their family online. They do.
03:29 And one of the great sources is your children
03:32 for education. Okay.
03:34 I'm--you know, I've got a masters
03:36 and I've security alphabets suit behind my name
03:39 which means I took a lot of tests
03:40 and studied lot of things.
03:42 But I still would never make the claim
03:43 that I've got it all figured out. Yeah.
03:45 There's lot of times a young person will come to me
03:47 and say, "Mr. Staats, have you heard of this?"
03:48 And I'll say, "No, tell me about it."
03:51 And then they will start 'cause they like to know,
03:52 they like to begin to know.
03:54 So they will tell you all about it
03:55 and also give me some more information on that.
03:57 And then we learn it together.
03:59 And as parents it can be the same way.
04:01 You can say, "Hey, I really want to know more about this."
04:04 And so really what you're saying is parents have got to dedicate,
04:08 if they want to protect their family
04:10 and their children online.
04:12 They have got to become involved
04:14 and that requires a dedication of time to this.
04:17 You've just got to make up your mind. Right.
04:19 That there's something else that has to go
04:21 because I don't think sometimes,
04:23 you know, a lot of parents don't realize
04:25 how real the danger is for online predators
04:29 and online bullying.
04:30 So what are some of the steps
04:32 that you teach as how to protect your family?
04:36 One of the first steps I tell them,
04:37 make sure your children and yourself realize it,
04:40 life rules apply online.
04:42 It's so easy because you're not seeing
04:43 someone's face, to sit there
04:44 and type something that may be not very nice.
04:47 If you step back and say, oh, how does that sound?
04:50 I mean, I sent an email just, for example,
04:52 yesterday I sent an email
04:53 and I was just trying to get information quick.
04:55 And the person sent me back saying,
04:56 "Ernest, I'm sorry, that was offensive."
04:59 And I read the email and I was like,
05:00 oh, I could have been taken offensive,
05:01 I didn't mean it offensive.
05:03 I was just trying to get to the information,
05:05 my wife accuses me of being a robot
05:06 half of the time anyways
05:07 but, you know, I just want the information
05:09 and let's move on.
05:11 You know, but and I didn't realized
05:12 that came across so strong--
05:15 We have all been guilty of that from time to time.
05:17 And it's easy to do
05:18 and I think that's one of the things
05:19 helping our young people realize
05:20 make sure that they know that modesty,
05:23 modesty is a big issue.
05:24 If you look at young women's clothing,
05:26 you know, you go look at the racks,
05:28 I mean, I've got a 4-year-old, even some of the stuff
05:29 they're selling for 4-year-olds,
05:31 I'm sitting like, I don't want my girl wearing that
05:33 'cause my wife and I've made the philosophy
05:35 what she's wearing now,
05:36 we want her to feel comfortable wearing when she's 16. Yes.
05:39 So, you know, sometimes people say,
05:40 they're little kids, it's okay.
05:41 Well, no, I don't want, all of a sudden
05:43 when she becomes teenager, I change all the rules.
05:45 That's good point, excellent.
05:46 So what we're trying to do is find modest clothes
05:48 even now you look at it and say,
05:50 well, that's okay, little bit edgy.
05:52 But you take the same picture
05:53 or the same piece of clothing
05:54 and you put it online and what was a little bit edgy,
05:57 now that it's online has a whole different flavor to it.
06:00 That's good point, excellent.
06:01 So that's where we try to help at least at our school
06:03 we try to help educate the kids about dressing,
06:05 look and think about this.
06:07 And so and it's not just like what you might say in a,
06:11 you know, being curt in an email
06:14 but for example if you're writing about someone else,
06:17 if you wouldn't say something to them
06:20 or post something online on MySpace
06:22 or these various chat rooms about someone,
06:26 just because if you wouldn't say to their face
06:29 and talk with them that you just wouldn't put that online.
06:32 Right and that's really important
06:33 for people to remember that.
06:34 We're also trying to tell them, don't talk to strangers,
06:36 you know, most kids grow up talking that
06:38 you have three times the more likelihood
06:40 the statistics right now, you have three times
06:42 more likelihood of being picked up by somebody online
06:44 than just being nabbed by somebody at Wal-Mart.
06:46 Yes, absolutely.
06:47 So, you know, people tell their kids,
06:49 parents tell their kids be careful
06:51 when you're walking at Wal-Mart,
06:52 in case there's someone looking at you,
06:53 you know call us.
06:55 Well, then they never take that into the online world. Yes.
06:57 And you're three times more likely in the online world
06:59 to come across a predator.
07:00 And the kids are talking to strangers all the time.
07:03 Right and we find so many kids
07:05 are posting their cell phone numbers,
07:07 are posting their schedules
07:09 when they get off closing shifts,
07:10 you name it online.
07:12 And so this is information that they put--
07:14 and you know, you have the Peta files
07:16 and the various sexual deviance
07:19 who actually get online.
07:21 And, I mean this is their hunting ground
07:23 if you will. Very much so.
07:25 And the department of--
07:27 the office of juvenile justice prevention
07:29 they have been asking
07:31 the technology world specifically
07:33 what are the ways that we can find and stop this.
07:36 Because they made a research on MySpace,
07:37 they came across I think there was like 600
07:39 registered sex offenders that had MySpace accounts.
07:42 And several of them were acting
07:43 like they were younger aged kids. Oh, absolutely.
07:47 And they lure these kids into meeting them somewhere.
07:50 We hear these stories all the time in the media.
07:53 So how do you--I mean you should as a parent
07:55 just have a flat, even though you might--
07:58 let me put it, let me frame this question this way.
08:01 Even though a parent may say, don't talk to strangers,
08:05 don't talk to, you know, don't make an appointment.
08:09 Is--how do you make it sure
08:10 that your kids aren't talking to strangers
08:12 and that they aren't making an appointment
08:13 to meet a stranger?
08:16 This--the answer to that question
08:17 I would say depends on two things.
08:19 If you have open communication,
08:20 you should have a good idea what's happening. Okay.
08:22 If you don't, then there is some software
08:25 one of the piece of soft,
08:26 one package of software is called Spectra Pro.
08:28 And that's where if their lines of communication
08:30 have broken down
08:31 and you're really concerned about
08:32 your young person Spectra Pro,
08:34 it's kind of like a spyware that installs on their computer
08:37 and it will track everything they type,
08:38 screenshots click by click,
08:40 you know exactly what happens. Okay.
08:43 I would highly recommend that.
08:44 Can we put that on cell phones and all the other?
08:47 It can we put on cell phones and that's the other thing.
08:50 So really what you're saying is
08:51 you need to have a really great relationship.
08:54 This is kind of an emergency net if you will. Right.
08:58 But it's not, I mean it's developing
09:01 that good relationship with your kids
09:02 because you might protect them in your home
09:05 but you don't know what they are doing
09:06 at someone else's computer.
09:07 And you don't know what they are doing on their cell phone
09:09 or other places they can access the internet. Very much so.
09:13 And I'd highly recommend for parents
09:15 to not give their kids
09:16 internet access on their cell phone.
09:17 First of all, it will save them money
09:19 and-- and I like that.
09:20 Second of all I would also very strongly recommend against that
09:23 because there is no filter.
09:25 And even if they come across it accidentally.
09:28 You know, one of the cities recently done at a Christian,
09:30 conservative Christian college in Midwest.
09:32 They found 75% of the males
09:35 and 25% of the females admitted
09:37 to intentionally going to pornographic sites.
09:40 Repeat those statistics.
09:41 75% of the males polled and 25% of the females
09:45 admitted to going to intentionally
09:47 going to pornographic sites.
09:49 And you know, what they don't realize is that
09:52 pornography is more than just a one time kick.
09:55 It's almost like for some people taking cocaine
10:00 or taking heroin the very first time.
10:02 You know, now we know that meth, not meth,
10:06 crack is that the one that crystal meth. Crystal meth.
10:09 That's additive from the first time forward.
10:12 And what pornography does
10:14 is actually release brain chemistry that
10:17 if there's an addiction that's involved.
10:19 I mean it's as dangerous as picking up the drug.
10:22 And it's not even just pornography they're finding
10:24 the online addiction has the exact syndrome,
10:26 they have done studies on this on the brain.
10:28 And it has the exact same addictive properties as cocaine.
10:31 And it has the arousal, the sensation.
10:33 You know all of that,
10:34 that was typically there with the drugs.
10:35 To be online.
10:37 To be online and it's part
10:38 'cause there's a little bit of edge to the online world.
10:41 You know there is a dark side that is just always
10:42 a little bit prevalent on there.
10:44 Because that's there, there is just that addictive quality
10:47 to the online world. See, even that shocks me.
10:50 I have to confess because
10:52 first of all I don't have children. Right.
10:54 But to me I don't see the online world
10:58 that edgy dark side because I never visit that.
11:01 So my online world, my idea of what the internet is
11:05 completely different than yours.
11:07 You're dealing with kids, you're dealing with security
11:09 and so this is true of probably many parents,
11:13 wouldn't you agree?
11:14 Oh, probably very much so.
11:16 What they don't realize they will listen to--
11:18 you know, they will hear from their kids,
11:19 "Oh, you got that music, oh, that's great."
11:21 But did you buy your child that music?
11:23 Even if it's Christian
11:24 'cause they have found out that Christian music is downloaded
11:27 just as much illegally as non Christian music.
11:31 And then we can justify behind rational as well,
11:33 you know, it's good Christian music.
11:35 But what comes with that?
11:36 Every time you get a free download on the internet,
11:38 there is no such thing as a free lunch.
11:40 And PBS--also listening to PBS online the other day
11:44 and they were talking to people
11:45 who are in the pornography industry.
11:47 They admit that with every file they attach
11:49 when they put out free music out there,
11:51 they attach pornographic stuff with it to try and hook
11:54 and hooks in people. Yes.
11:55 It's part of their industry. It's part of their bill.
11:58 And just as Paul wrote to the Corinthians,
12:00 "We need to be aware of the devil's devices."
12:05 Now what about these emails that people get
12:08 and particularly in ministry I get thousands of emails
12:12 and most of them are from people I don't know.
12:16 Now we have an excellent filter
12:17 so it gets most of the junk out.
12:20 But what advice would you give to parents
12:23 to teach their children about emails
12:25 that they receive from strangers?
12:27 If it's--especially as a young person
12:30 most young people admit to talking to strangers online.
12:33 So that's another part
12:34 where your kids need to be educated saying,
12:36 really if you don't know the person in real life,
12:38 I would really especially for younger
12:40 they shouldn't be talking to him.
12:42 It's better to just to lead him.
12:44 And it's better for the parents to sit there
12:46 and say, "Do you know this person, do you know this?"
12:48 And then if their friend say,
12:49 "I sent you an email." What was it?
12:50 You know, what was the email address
12:52 that it came from? Okay.
12:53 Okay, then you can go back and undelete the email,
12:55 you don't read it because what's happening is
12:57 there's some very complex viruses
12:59 that are now coming in emails too. Okay.
13:01 Then if you allow to see it as a webpage,
13:03 it can then infect your computer.
13:05 And, you know, which has other implications too.
13:07 So there's a couple different sites
13:08 part of it is protecting their safety,
13:10 their soul that you're worried about.
13:12 The other part is also make sure
13:13 you still have a computer so they can do their homework
13:15 and the other parts that are and valid in their life.
13:18 You know, I'm just sitting here and I'm thinking, Ernest, that
13:22 for the parent who are both
13:25 either it's a single parent home
13:26 or maybe both parents work.
13:28 And for that child that comes home alone after school
13:32 and feels lonely and natural thing would be,
13:36 I mean a natural lure would be to get on the internet
13:40 and talk to somebody.
13:42 And it how it's kind of I think
13:44 there's kind of a high that kids get I think,
13:48 when they are talking with strangers on the internet
13:50 because they can be somebody
13:52 they really aren't in real life. Yeah.
13:54 And they don't recognize the dangers,
13:56 so parents need to find things for their children
13:59 to do after school.
14:00 We just have to be very diligent, don't we?
14:03 We do, I mean I can-- there's a story of a young girl
14:06 who was 13 years old in Arkansas.
14:08 She went to a Christian chat room.
14:10 She thought she was talking to other Christians in there.
14:12 Her mother passed away,
14:13 her father was a single father, was a police officer.
14:16 They lived in a country
14:17 so they thought everything was safe,
14:18 he just thought she was, you know,
14:20 talking to other Christian friends. Right.
14:21 The only thing was true about the man's profile was
14:23 he was from California.
14:25 He wasn't a young man that she was talking to.
14:27 But what a cyber predator will do
14:28 is they will mere back to the kids
14:30 exact type of things they are going through.
14:32 They will act awkward.
14:33 Teenagers are in between the stage of being full adults
14:37 and being little kids.
14:38 So they kind of have some idiosyncrasies
14:40 that are unique to teenagers.
14:42 Well, they are mere the same type of idiosyncrasies,
14:44 the same type of fears.
14:45 And then he saw that she lost her mother
14:47 so then supposedly he lost his hand a week later.
14:51 So I started sharing scripture verses back and forth
14:53 and encouraging each other.
14:54 Well, he was actually a predator and he actually found out
14:57 what her dad schedule was, everything else.
14:59 Even though they lived in a country
15:00 he flew from California to Arkansas went
15:03 grab her off the computer and killed her. Oh.
15:05 So, you know, and that was just where the parent thought,
15:08 well, she's just talking to Christian, we were in a country,
15:10 I'm a police officer, life will be fine.
15:12 You don't have that guarantee.
15:14 You know, we're hearing these stories more and more
15:17 on the local news even when recently
15:19 we had something where the FBI is now,
15:22 you know, they found some predators online.
15:25 And it seems that I mean there's no real way of policing this
15:30 because it's just too big of a problem
15:32 and too big of a world.
15:34 But how much of this I mean do you feel like
15:36 it's much more prevalent than what we realize.
15:40 I think it's more, we just heard the media hype
15:41 on the certain cases.
15:43 There's a lot of stuff that goes unreported, unfortunately.
15:47 And just to kind of give you a little bit of an idea
15:49 of some of the statistics that I brought with me today.
15:51 The child goes missing in United States every 40 seconds.
15:55 And out of that 40--
15:56 out of those child that goes missing
15:58 two-thirds of all missing child reports
16:00 are teenagers of 15 and 17.
16:03 And in that group two-fifth of the missing children
16:08 are actually due to internet activity.
16:10 Two fifths? Two fifths.
16:12 And that number is not going down, it's rising.
16:15 So it's very common for the child
16:17 to have a different persona, they don't realize though.
16:19 And when I've listened to some liberal media,
16:21 some non Christian psychologist,
16:24 they talk about the fact
16:25 that the frontal lobe on young people
16:27 is not developed,
16:28 not till they are about 21 or so. Yes.
16:30 So they don't-- and the frontal lobe
16:31 is where you get your discernment
16:33 where you know whether this is right or wrong.
16:35 Well, so they don't have the red flags going off
16:37 and this person is sending them gifts.
16:39 When this person is telling them let's be secretive.
16:42 They don't see this happening
16:43 but as a parent if your child starts being secretive,
16:46 starts deleting internet log files,
16:48 these are all red flags.
16:49 But you may say, wait a minute,
16:50 something is going wrong here, we need to talk. Okay.
16:54 So specifically what can parents do
16:57 to protect their children?
17:00 And you know we really haven't talked about online bullying
17:03 so much as we have of the predators.
17:05 But there is also the hurt feelings
17:08 and the bullying that's going on online.
17:10 How can we protect our children from this?
17:13 Again, it comes back to being involved--
17:15 one of the things I'd recommend is that you have,
17:17 you know, what your children websites they go to.
17:20 You know some of the different places
17:22 where they post messages.
17:23 But now, what if the parent is saying,
17:26 "I know, you know, I know how to get my email."
17:28 Right. And that's about it.
17:29 So how do I track this or know where,
17:33 you know maybe I've talked with my child
17:34 but I don't feel like they are being responsive.
17:37 How can I find out this information?
17:40 You can use a software like Spectra Pro.
17:41 You can start putting on some filtering software.
17:44 You as a parent have the right to go to the cell company
17:47 and say, I want their chat logs.
17:49 You know, you can pull some of this information
17:50 out on their cell phone.
17:52 You have the right 'cause most of the them have
17:54 GPS trackers on them. Okay.
17:56 You can say, I want to know
17:57 if my child goes outside this radius.
17:59 And most cell phone companies will give you
18:01 an email or text message or telephone call saying that
18:04 this cell phone is gone without this 10 mile radius. Okay.
18:06 So there are several different methods
18:08 that a parent can use if you think there are
18:10 some more concerns there.
18:11 And you know what, a lot of children of course
18:14 if you tell them this is what you're going to do.
18:16 There are gonna whine, there are gonna kick
18:18 and scream and holler and say, "You don't trust me"
18:21 and try to put that guilt trip on you.
18:23 But it comes down to like you said that frontal lobe
18:27 isn't developed and parents need to be parents
18:30 and they can't be their children's best friend,
18:32 and they just have to say, you want this cell phone,
18:34 you get the GPS with it. Right.
18:36 And I'm gonna know where you are. Right.
18:38 Well, and then probably letting them know that
18:40 it's because I love you. Absolutely.
18:42 You know, I kind of have a different philosophy on this.
18:45 Our first daughter passed away.
18:47 And I as a parent had to sign the papers
18:49 to turn off the machines. Oh, yes.
18:51 You know, when you go through that
18:53 I have a totally different philosophy
18:55 with my other girl. Absolutely.
18:56 You know, and Neriah knows it and she's without it,
18:58 she's loved but she also knows that
19:00 papa's not gonna pull you punches
19:02 if there is something in-- you know, to be worried about.
19:04 I'm going to make sure she's knows it
19:05 because I love her that I have these things turned on.
19:09 I want to be a part of her life.
19:11 I think of all of these technological terms
19:14 like webcamming and the chat rooms
19:18 that a lot of parents have never been to.
19:21 How can we educate ourselves on this
19:23 for the hairy parent that has so little time?
19:27 How can we get up to snuff with our kids?
19:30 A couple of ways, there are several resources
19:31 I have on my personal website,
19:36 And I have done this specifically--
19:37 Yes, let's slow down because you are inviting people
19:40 to come to your personal website.
19:42 To my personal website. And that is
19:48 That is correct. Okay.
19:50 And on there you've got some resources that parents,
19:53 did you all hear that?
19:55, go there and tune in,
20:01 I mean to click on and find some of these resources
20:04 that can help educate you.
20:06 And I've-- I have narrated PowerPoints
20:09 where I'm actually going through a PowerPoint
20:10 and it's narrated. Okay.
20:12 So you can pause it, you can go back
20:14 if you didn't quite understand the terminology
20:16 and you can replay it. Very good.
20:18 I have some that are on wireless
20:19 if you are running wireless in your house how to secure it.
20:21 I've got ones that are specifically dealing
20:22 with cyber predators and bullies.
20:25 There is livewires which is a game online
20:27 that you can play with your kids.
20:29 That will help them realize if they're being--
20:31 if someone is trying to be a cyber predator
20:33 towards them or being bullied.
20:35 There is Web Wise Kids, Netsmartz, wonderful resources
20:40 and they are all linked off my website.
20:41 So you are essentially saying, educate your children
20:44 how to avoid the predators as well.
20:46 So specifically what are some of the things
20:49 that kids can do to identify
20:53 or maybe have that red flag go up there.
20:56 Oops, this is an online predator.
20:59 When I talked and I've talked to several young people.
21:01 I've gone to some schools and I've talked to young people,
21:03 when they go in, I say if they are starting to be secretive,
21:06 if they try to alienate you from your family. Okay.
21:09 You see the alienation happen, then there's a problem.
21:12 And as parents we need to see these signs too.
21:14 If you start getting gifts, if you start receiving emails,
21:18 I tell the kids read through this.
21:20 Can I put just any name at the top of this
21:22 and can I send it to 10 other people?
21:24 If there's no specific information
21:26 it deals just with you, if the answer is yes
21:28 that means it's probably a cyber predator
21:30 that is sending this to 8 to 15 other people all at once.
21:33 And I've come across this even at our school,
21:35 we had a girl start getting gifts and stuff.
21:37 And then we look, we went back and looked at her email logs,
21:39 we said there's a problem
21:40 and turned out the guy she was under 18,
21:42 the guy she was corresponding with was 35 year old
21:44 insurance agent. Wow.
21:46 So you know, there was-- it was really easy to tell
21:48 because all the emails were so generic,
21:51 I could have sent them to 100 people
21:52 and it would have been accurate.
21:53 So often it looks like there's nothing
21:55 that's personal identifiable to you,
21:56 you know, just short little notes
21:58 then there's a problem 'cause it's probably been
21:59 sent to many people.
22:01 So you look for that,
22:02 you look for them trying to seclude you,
22:03 you look for them trying to say,
22:04 they like the same thing, they dislike the same thing,
22:07 you know, and then trying to get secretive. Okay.
22:10 And especially if a stranger is asking to meet.
22:13 I guess you would tell them if some kid says,
22:15 "Yeah, but mom, this is my best friend." Right.
22:17 We've developed such friendship,
22:18 I guess the only way to do it, you say don't go there
22:20 unless you are with your parent.
22:22 I will say don't go there unless you're with your parent
22:24 and even that I'm shying away from that
22:26 even a little bit more now because there have been--
22:28 some parents that have been hurt too
22:30 that have gone with their kids
22:31 and met supposedly in a public, you know, space.
22:34 So to me I'm very, very cautious of meeting online people
22:38 that you've never met in the real world.
22:40 The best philosophy is your online friend
22:42 should be the same as your real life friends. Okay.
22:45 And for those kids that don't have real life friends,
22:49 I mean there are some that are just shut in,
22:50 and that makes them even more vulnerable.
22:52 So parents, if your child,
22:54 if you know that they're going through a time in their school
22:57 where they are feeling isolated,
22:59 you need to try to get them
23:00 into some kind of group activities locally
23:03 where there's human beings that you can see
23:06 and feel and touch.
23:07 And that you can know, come to know as well.
23:11 And there is so much that we want,
23:14 you've talked about in previous program
23:17 that we need to keep private information private
23:20 and you're not particularly excited about
23:23 people posting personal photos on the internet, are you?
23:27 I'm not because that once they are up there,
23:29 they are up there for life.
23:30 Where you can take the case of one young lady who--
23:33 in Pennsylvania who's gonna become a teacher.
23:35 But because she had pictures of herself
23:37 doing inappropriate stuff under age drinking at a party,
23:40 the college denied her, you know, a degree in teaching.
23:44 Miss New Jersey just about lost her crown
23:45 'cause she had inappropriate pictures posted on the internet.
23:48 I mean we can sit here and go over
23:49 case after case all day long.
23:52 When I was a kid, we did some silly things,
23:53 we made some bad mistakes, all the kids do.
23:56 But we didn't live in the era
23:57 of the digital cameras and the internet.
23:59 And that's why I try to explain to these kids
24:00 you now live in the era
24:01 of digital cameras and the internet,
24:03 you post that online it stays online forever.
24:05 Even if you delete it, it goes to the World Wide Web archive.
24:09 So they need to realize
24:10 the dangers of posting stuff online.
24:13 And then once it's up it's good for--
24:14 it's up there forever.
24:15 Now, we often hear this idea that parents
24:18 one way of protecting their children is to make sure that
24:23 instead of putting the computer in the children's room
24:26 where you cannot have a visual oversight
24:29 and have that teenage,
24:31 teenage to be aware that at any moment
24:33 you could walk up on them,
24:34 they say to keep that in an open area.
24:38 And I recommend the living room.
24:40 And my wife and I well, it's not the best decor
24:42 in the living room and her and I've talked about that
24:43 but as Neriah is getting older,
24:45 when she finally gets to the age
24:46 where she will be on the computer herself,
24:47 the one that she will have internet access
24:48 will be in the very center, it will be in the living room.
24:51 In the central location so that we are walking
24:53 past that all the time.
24:55 She will know that we have
24:56 and will look at internet log files.
24:58 We want to know, what's a part of her life. Okay.
25:01 So just because that's so important. That's good.
25:04 So how do I know if-- how do parents recognize
25:09 if their children are being groomed? Okay.
25:13 You said something about the gifts,
25:14 what if they're being groomed by--
25:16 I mean are there tell-tale signs that you can say,
25:19 there's some change in my child's behavior?
25:21 Well, that's actually one of the first signs right there.
25:23 There's usually a change,
25:25 they either get a little darker if you want to call that way.
25:27 I said, I'm talking about being groomed by a predator,
25:29 that's what I'm saying. Right.
25:30 If they are being groomed by predator
25:31 what they are going to try and do is they are going to try
25:32 and alienate them from the rest of the family. Okay.
25:35 You're gonna notice more confrontations.
25:37 You're gonna notice a lot more of that
25:39 they want to be online all the time or that they want
25:41 they're always talking to this one particular friend. Okay.
25:44 That person will start out
25:45 by just sending emails and stuff like that
25:47 but then eventually get to telephone messages.
25:50 And they will start calling them
25:51 and they will try to webcam with them.
25:53 I honestly see no reason for a kid to have a webcam
25:57 unless the computer is sitting in a central location
25:59 and they are talking with grandparents
26:00 or friends stuff like that,
26:01 that you know exactly what they are dealing with.
26:04 And explain for some that don't even know
26:06 what a webcam is. Okay.
26:07 A webcam is a little camera
26:09 that sits on top of your monitor that you could sit there
26:10 and see pictures of the other person.
26:12 And my little girl webcams with you know,
26:14 the grandparents that are in Colorado and Idaho.
26:17 You know, she loves they talk to each other
26:18 and they have fun.
26:19 But you know that's in a very controlled environment. Yes.
26:22 Whereas if a parent is not there
26:24 you really don't know what's happening.
26:26 So how frequently do you believe that
26:29 inappropriate information is being filtered
26:31 to our children through the internet
26:34 and chat rooms and this type of thing?
26:38 It's everywhere, most of the kids
26:39 who want to go out and play games
26:40 it's on the gaming sites. It's on the--
26:43 what they call crack sites where if they don't--
26:45 they want to go download a game
26:46 for free that they didn't pay for.
26:47 Then they had to go download a serial key for it.
26:50 Those sites have been inappropriate content.
26:52 I mean it's just out there on all the sites
26:55 that where young people would normally want to go to.
26:58 So it's just something that a parent cannot be too cautious.
27:02 I don't think so but I think at the same time
27:03 you can send them to the good that's online.
27:05 Well, you know, we're already out of time
27:09 but I do want to thank you so much, Ernest Staats,
27:12 for being with us again today and you will come back.
27:15 Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
27:17 You know, I-- this is going way too fast
27:20 but I hope we are going to have Ernest come back
27:23 and we're gonna be talking again about internet safety.
27:26 And I hope that this is being used as a wake up call
27:29 for many of you because we don't realize
27:32 the danger that's lurking out there.
27:34 And Paul wrote as I said to the Corinthians
27:37 and said, "We've got to be aware of the devil's devices."
27:41 There's nothing inherently evil about the internet
27:45 but there's a lot of the evil on the internet.
27:47 So you've got to be careful.
27:49 So right now we pray that the grace of our Lord Jesus,
27:53 the love of the Father
27:54 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit
27:55 will be with you always.


Revised 2014-12-17