Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Jennifer Jill Schwirzer
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000314
00:29 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome again to
00:32 Issues and Answers Today our issue is going to be
00:36 about assertiveness. Can we be graciously assertive? Let me
00:40 read to you a scripture that I think goes really well with this
00:45 program. It comes from 2 Timothy chapter 1 and verse 7 and Paul
00:49 wrote to Timothy and he said: God did not give us a spirit of
00:55 fear but of power and love and a sound mind. That's what we're
00:59 going to be talking about today is gracious assertiveness.
01:04 Our special guest is Jennifer Schwirzer and Jennifer we thank
01:09 you so much for coming back.
01:10 It's great to be here, great to be here.
01:12 Now you are a Christian psychologist and also you're the
01:17 director of a ministry called Michael Ministry from
01:21 Philadelphia. I live in Philadelphia, that's
01:23 right. I operate my ministry out of my house in Philadelphia and
01:27 I have my counseling office in my house in Philadelphia.
01:29 Oh how I miss the days of working out of my home.
01:32 Oh I love it, I really love it.
01:34 We're going to be hitting on an issue today that's kind of
01:38 probably going to hit me a little bit square in the face
01:43 because as I was just sharing with you I can be a very
01:47 assertive person if it has to do with principle or with someone
01:51 else's rights. But when it comes to my own rights I'm not very
01:54 assertive at all because I'm a peacemaker. I don't like
01:57 confrontation and I've got an incredibly long fuse. When I go
02:01 out and minister you know you always try to minister from
02:04 personal experience but when you're ministering to someone
02:08 about anger issues it's difficult for me because it
02:12 takes... You know, I always tell them I'm speaking from theory
02:15 now because I have such a long fuse that it takes a whole lot
02:18 to make me angry.
02:19 You know what, I have the opposite problem. I have a
02:21 history I think genetically inherited from my father who
02:25 had a rage problem and also environmentally inherited just
02:29 witnessing him, you know, handling conflict in that way.
02:33 I adopted that into my own life and struggled with that for
02:37 years as a Christian. It's largely in the past at this
02:40 point but I would get in the conflicted situation and I'd
02:43 blow my stack. I remember my daughter saying one time daddy
02:47 had a short temper and I thought why is she saying he had a short
02:50 temper and then she looked at me and she said and you had a long
02:54 temper. So my kids know I really struggled with this issue and a
02:58 lot of my clients do too. They do the same thing. They fail to
03:02 assert themselves in the right time and in the right way and
03:05 then they end up setting themselves up for frustration
03:08 and they blow their stack. Very common, very common.
03:11 This is interesting. You know I grew up in a very argumentative
03:14 environment. It would be interesting to know if I was
03:19 always... My grandfather called me the ambassador in the family
03:22 because I was a peacemaker from the time I was a child.
03:25 You were always trying to smooth things over.
03:27 Always trying to smooth things over. So I determined in my life
03:30 that I don't want to live like that and, praise the Lord, I
03:34 married a man who is also a peacemaker. People say that's
03:38 not healthy for you that you never argue but both of us feel
03:43 that... As long as you're not avoiding
03:44 conflict. I do get concerned when married couples don't argue
03:47 at all because sometimes, not always, but sometimes it means
03:50 that they're just avoiding the problem. But then there are
03:52 some people with the temperament of a peacemaker and they just
03:55 get along. You know for us, we're just so
03:57 perfect... We're so perfectly matched that I don't feel like
04:02 there's anything that either one of us is stuffing.
04:05 Oh that's awesome, that's awesome.
04:06 So let's talk about this. Let's talk about both angles of it;
04:12 there's the lack of assertiveness and then there are
04:14 those who go beyond assertive to being aggressive is the word.
04:18 Do you agree that that's the next stage is aggressiveness.
04:21 And typically it's the same person and they go through a
04:24 cycle. It starts with a feeling that it's wrong, somehow it's
04:28 wrong to ask for me to ask for my rights to be granted me or my
04:31 desires to be granted me. It's wrong to say that. I should just
04:35 let other people have their way all the time and then what
04:38 happens is there's a withdrawal from that relationship where I'm
04:41 no longer really relating to that person. I'm no longer
04:44 present in the relationship. I am somewhere else and I'm kind
04:48 of viewing the relationship through a lens. So I've
04:51 withdrawn and then I start to feel oppressed in the
04:53 relationship because the person isn't really connected to me,
04:56 they're connected to a facade of me and then that sets me up for
05:00 an explosion of anger and then I feel guilty that I lost my
05:03 composure and then the cycle starts all over again because
05:06 I'm guilty and shamed and I feel like I can't assert myself.
05:09 So there are a number of people, clients that I have had that
05:12 I've had that cycle through that over and over again and what I
05:16 try to do is teach them. There's a very specific method that I
05:19 use that we're going to get to a little bit later as to how to
05:22 assert themselves in the right time and in the right way.
05:25 You threw me off. I'm sitting here looking quizzical because
05:28 you said typically it's the same person. I see people that just
05:32 seem aggressive and assertive all the time.
05:34 But you don't see them at home. I mean passive people, you don't
05:37 see those people at home. Sometime the passive ones...
05:41 You know the home life is what really brings out who you really
05:44 are. So sometimes you don't see all of what's there.
05:47 I see in my sister's life, she and her husband are both
05:50 incredibly assertive and intense.
05:53 How long have they been married?
05:56 Almost 30 years. Okay, okay.
05:58 They're doing something right.
06:00 They must be. Okay now let's talk about this guilt and anger
06:05 cycle. Okay. Well one of the questions
06:08 we have to tackle in the context of Christian counseling is do
06:12 Christians have rights. You hear people say Christians we don't
06:16 have rights, human beings don't have any rights and I agree with
06:19 that up to a point. In the context of our relationship to
06:23 God we really don't have any rights that are ours that have
06:27 derived from us innately so to speak. He grants us certain
06:31 rights. They're God-given rights but in terms of our relationship
06:35 to him we don't have anything that we can boast about before
06:38 him or we can claim as our right except one thing and that's our
06:42 grave. That's the only thing that we are entitled to before
06:45 him. But that doesn't mean that we don't have any
06:47 Our grave? Our grave yes. The wages of sin is death. That's
06:51 the only thing we have coming to us by rights that we are
06:55 entitled to. But in the context of our relationships with other
06:59 people we do have rights and that's where we need to make a
07:02 very clear distinction. Because perpetrators will use this
07:06 notion that you don't have any rights to perpetrate on their
07:10 victims by trying to deprive them of their rights in the
07:13 context of a human relationship. In the context of human
07:17 relationships I do have rights. They are God-give rights and so
07:21 I need to learn the proper way of asserting those rights.
07:24 So let me back up and make sure I understood what you just said.
07:29 Let's do it by example. For example when you're talking
07:32 about the perpetrator will try to tell... let's use an abusive
07:36 husband will try to tell the wife submit to you husband
07:40 total submission and they're taking a Bible verse and...
07:43 twisting it out of context that you have no rights. You've got
07:47 to do what I said. I'm the head of the household so you have to
07:50 do everything I say the way I said it and if I beat on you
07:54 it's your fault, you deserve it. That's right, that's right.
07:59 Then there are parents who will absolutely take away the child's
08:05 idea that they have any right to their own opinion. So what
08:09 we're talking about here is saying innately if we're looking
08:13 to the Lord the only right we can claim, as you said, the
08:17 grave but God, what a privilege it is to be his child,
08:21 has given us all these rights then we don't have to let people
08:26 just walk over us and beat us up and try to manipulate our
08:30 mind. What we should be looking to is in the word of God to know
08:34 who we are and what God says.
08:36 That's exactly right and what happens to Christians is they
08:40 run into difficulty here because they feel that to assert their
08:43 rights is contradictory to the gospel or to the whole message
08:47 of laying yourself down for the good of others. But I maintain
08:51 that there is a way of asserting our rights that is not just a
08:54 benefit to us but a benefit to the person that we're being
08:58 assertive with. So it isn't a self-centered assertiveness.
09:01 It is an others-centered assertiveness. It's the best
09:04 thing for us, it's the best thing for them, and it's the
09:06 best thing for the relationship. So it is kind of a God-centered
09:10 gospel-based form of assertiveness. And what I find
09:13 is that if it isn't a gospel- based form of assertiveness
09:16 what happens is people get really egotistical or really
09:19 puffed up and I'm going to claim my rights and it lasts for
09:23 awhile but they end up alienating people, they end up
09:25 as they are supposedly maintaining their own rights
09:28 they end up running rough shod over the rights of other people.
09:31 Give us an example of when it would be right to assert
09:34 yourself. Well okay, good question. In an
09:40 abusive situation. A wife needs to recognize that merely
09:45 overlooking the abuse that's being brought upon her is
09:49 harming the husband as much as it's harming her and she needs
09:53 to recognize that asserting herself in that situation and
09:57 laying down some healthy boundaries is the best thing for
10:00 everyone concerned and it's a very Christ-centered thing to do
10:05 In fact, it's very selfish to fail to claim one's own rights
10:09 in a relationship because what you're doing is setting that
10:13 person up for failure in other relationships.
10:16 You're conditioning them to expect absolute submission and
10:19 it's not a healthy thing.
10:21 Let's take it out side of that. There's many areas in our lives
10:29 where things are being superimposed upon us, if you
10:33 would, and someone else is imposing their will and
10:38 sometimes it's contrary to the will of God on us and in a
10:42 relationship maybe because you are afraid of confrontation you
10:46 just have this tendency to withdraw and let the bully get
10:51 away with it. So how would you counsel somebody to get out of
10:56 that withdrawal syndrome?
10:58 Well the first thing I would do is I would establish with them
11:02 that our example Jesus Christ was very assertive. Most people
11:06 don't realize that. They say oh he went to the cross and they
11:09 beat him and they tortured him and he just let them do all
11:12 these things but as I've studied the passion, and I want to go
11:16 through a few texts here. This is so powerful. I mean, I get
11:19 like chills when I think about this because Jesus was the most
11:24 present person in a relationship He showed up for relationships.
11:28 What happens when people don't assert themselves is they
11:30 withdraw from relationships and the individual they're relating
11:33 to is relating to a facade of them. They're not really showing
11:37 up for the relationship. Jesus was very present in
11:40 relationships and he was willing to tell people who he was.
11:43 For instance when you go through the story of the passion
11:46 you find over and over again Jesus says things to the effect
11:49 of I'm not here because I have to be here. I'm here because I
11:53 choose to be here. In other words, I am not the victim. I'm
11:56 here because this is God's will for me and I choose to follow
12:00 God's will. For instance Peter, he said put your sword back, all
12:04 who live by the sword will die by the sword. Don't you know
12:06 that I could pray right now and my father would send me more
12:09 than 12 legions of angels. But how would the scriptures be
12:13 fulfilled that it must happen thus. The cup that my Father has
12:16 given me, shouldn't I drink it? In other words, I'm following
12:19 God's plan. I'm not here because I have to be. It's not a lack of
12:23 power. It's my choice that put me here. Then you go on to Jesus
12:27 before Annas and they asked him about his disciples and his
12:31 doctrine we're told. He said, You know I spoke openly.
12:33 I taught in the synagogues, people witnessed what I taught.
12:37 Ask them what I said. And then the attendant got very angry and
12:41 slapped him and Jesus said to the attendant, If I have spoken
12:44 evil tell me what the evil is but if I haven't then why are
12:48 you slapping me? In other words, he's continually confronting
12:52 them with what they're doing to him and with who he is. He's
12:55 very present in the relationship He is submitting to the abuse
12:59 it's true but that was a necessary part of laying down
13:02 his life for the salvation of humanity. It was what he chose
13:06 to do at that time. But he wasn't a victim in the midst of
13:09 it. He said no one takes my life from me. I lay it down of my own
13:13 accord. Isn't that cool. Okay so let's go on. Then he was before
13:17 Caiaphas and Caiaphas says did you say that you're the Son of
13:21 man. And Jesus said, you have said, I agree with you, he said,
13:24 but hereafter you will see the Son of Man coming on the right
13:27 hand of power coming in the clouds of glory. In other words,
13:31 Do you know who I am, Caiaphas? I'm the Messiah, I am God's Son
13:35 and you're going to see me coming in power. So he was, as
13:38 I said before, present in the relationship. He was not afraid
13:41 to say who he was. And what happens when people lack the
13:44 appropriate kind of assertiveness is they're afraid
13:47 to say who they are. The wife is afraid to say to the husband,
13:51 Look I'm your wife. You're to treat me in this way according
13:54 to God's standard. You're to love and cherish me. You know,
13:57 we're afraid to do that because we will get resistance from that
14:01 person and experience further rejection. And then one more
14:04 example and then we'll go into more detail, but Pilot; you
14:09 remember Pilot got very angry and he said you know your own
14:12 nation has delivered you to me. What have you done? And Jesus
14:16 said my kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom was of this
14:19 world then my servants would fight. But I'm only here
14:24 because I've chosen not to fight Then Pilot got very angry a
14:27 little while later and he said don't you now that I have power
14:31 to crucify you or power to release you and Jesus said you
14:34 would have no power at all if it were not given to you from
14:38 above. So over and over again he's telling people I am God's
14:41 Son, I am the Messiah, I have all of heaven at my command.
14:45 I am here because I choose to be here, not because I have to be
14:48 here. In other words, Jesus told people who he really was.
14:53 And at the same time he was absolutely totally humble.
14:58 He had the spirit of humility. It wasn't that here I am look at
15:02 me. It was this is who I am. You have your choice to accept me or
15:07 reject me and he was trying to show them the truth. I think
15:13 especially for women that there's a difference between
15:20 being assertive and aggressive. Let's establish that because
15:24 there's this negative connotation of a woman
15:26 who asserts herself and sometimes
15:28 men will say well she's aggressive and sometimes
15:31 women don't what the distinction is between being aggressive and
15:35 being assertive so let's establish that baseline.
15:39 It isn't just about women, but it's true that women often get
15:43 labeled with negative evaluations if they are
15:47 assertive. They're kind of in some circles and some cultures
15:51 expected to be very kind of submissive and meek and quiet
15:54 and invisible even. There's a place for that. You know the
15:58 scriptures tell us that a meek and quiet spirit is of great
16:02 price. So I don't want to belittle that, but on the other
16:05 hand there's a boldness in the Lord that God's daughters need
16:09 to have. What I do with my clients that are struggling with
16:14 assertiveness issues is I teach them a technique called RAD.
16:19 I like to use mnemonics because mnemonics are easy to remember
16:22 and I keep them real simple like three letters. So what RAD is
16:25 it's a protocol, it's a process where you start out with the
16:29 most gentle form of assertiveness, then you bring it
16:31 up a notch if that doesn't work and then you bring it up to the
16:34 final form which is a very demanding, very assertive
16:38 thing if the other two didn't work. Usually the problem is
16:42 solved with the first step but we don't bother with the first
16:45 step. Typically people like for instance in a marriage will go
16:48 straight to the last step of being very demanding. They won't
16:52 even try the more gentle forms of assertiveness. So this is
16:57 what I try to help people to develop. It's RAD, it's a
17:01 radical kind of gracious assertiveness so it starts with
17:06 request. The first thing you do is you ask for the person to
17:10 give you what you want. I mean that sounds like sort of a duh
17:13 as we would say. But it's not a duh because it's amazing how
17:16 many people don't do this. It's amazing we don't do this.
17:20 We don't think of just asking for things that we need or want
17:24 or even for our rights. I think we can in certain situations ask
17:28 for our rights to be granted if the person is overlooking them
17:32 accidentally or insensitively. So the first think you do is you
17:36 just ask for what you want, what you think you have coming. I can
17:39 think of one client who was really troubled because her
17:43 husband was not providing enough affection for her, he
17:46 wasn't physically affectionate. It really made her feel bad and
17:49 she would get very demanding with him, You should be more
17:53 loving to me. And it wasn't working. I always ask is this
17:55 working, how well is this working for you. And they say
17:58 no. Is it giving you what you want. No it's not working.
18:00 So I said try just asking for it She came back the next week and
18:04 she was like, This is great. I asked him to kiss me and now
18:07 he's kissing me and it's just awesome. But we don't think of
18:11 that so we start with just requesting, just request, you
18:15 know, ask for it. Ask and you shall receive. Then the second
18:19 step is appeal. If the request doesn't work and it will not
18:23 always work, you appeal to the person's conscience. You add a
18:27 little bit of pressure to the mix. You tell them, you know
18:30 would you like it if I treated you that way? Or would you like
18:33 it if I ignored you when you walked in the door. You try to
18:36 to just appeal to their conscience. Add a little bit of
18:39 guilt, not a lot but just a little bit and see if that like
18:42 sort of wakes up their conscience and then finally if
18:45 that doesn't work you use a more demanding approach. So it's
18:49 Request, Appeal, Demand. The third step is to demand and
18:53 there are times when we will have to demand our rights.
18:56 In a work situation where the boss is not being honest or not
19:00 giving us what he promised or in a marriage situation where
19:03 our rights are being violated. We will at times have to say
19:06 look if this doesn't change I'm moving out or if this doesn't
19:09 change I'm going to seek other employment. That is the last
19:13 resort though because typically demanding something shuts a
19:17 person down emotionally. So we want to only use that as a last
19:20 resort. So request, appeal and demand.
19:23 There's an example coming to my mind and I don't know that I can
19:27 even articulate this but let's say that someone at work is a...
19:31 I think many people have worked with someone like this. You work
19:34 with someone who's a glory hog. For example, you've got all
19:38 these wonderful ideas and they take credit for everything and
19:42 then that leaves the person, if they never get credit for it,
19:45 especially if they're in the corporate world they're never
19:49 going to be able to advance. So instead of going in and
19:53 demanding and saying I need to get the credit for this one, the
19:56 credit is due. What they should do is go to their boss and say
20:00 you know I would like when I put these together and stuff
20:06 when you present it, if I could get the credit.
20:08 And you know Christians might be prone to say well that would
20:11 be too proud. But if they're really honest with themselves
20:14 they'll admit that it bothers them that someone else is
20:17 getting the credit for what they did. Here's the thing, Shelley,
20:20 is Jesus did say if someone strikes you on one cheek turn
20:23 the other, offer him that cheek as well. If he takes your coat
20:26 give him your cloak as well. So there's a place for being
20:28 totally submissive. I'm not sure though that Jesus was talking
20:32 about a close relationship there If you're going to be working
20:36 closely with people there has to be a certain equality in the
20:40 relationship. So there is a place in an intimate
20:42 relationship where asking for things just like that example
20:46 you just gave saying I really need you to give me credit
20:49 because I would feel better working for you if I knew you...
20:52 Well the appeal could be then if that's not working, the appeal
20:57 could be I need some of these things in my file so that I can
21:01 be considered for advancement and promotion. I have seen so
21:05 many people... Now see that's where I'll get assertive is
21:09 where I'll see somebody within a corporate realm that is
21:13 trouncing on somebody else. They're trying to keep... I've
21:16 worked with some people who the people who worked for them I
21:19 don't know how they even did it. But you'll see that you in a
21:23 group setting and somebody comes up with the idea and even does
21:26 all the leg work on it and then someone else presents it to the
21:29 top management as if it were all their idea. I've even seen
21:33 who've been promoted and that old Peter principle; they got
21:37 promoted beyond what was beyond their own ability simply because
21:40 the ideas were never theirs, they were from people under them
21:43 They knew how to steal thunder.
21:44 Steal thunder. So for me for some reason I think that's very
21:48 important that people are affirmed in that way plus it
21:52 helps them. Like I said, this may not be a great example
21:55 particularly to try to air here in just a few minutes.
21:59 Well here's a scripture that might help and when I read this
22:02 just recently it just went like stab right in my heart because
22:05 I was in the middle of a situation in which I was not
22:08 getting credit for something and it bothered me. I felt very
22:11 wounded by it but I never got up the nerve to say anything
22:14 about it and then I read this. When Jesus gave his first
22:18 scripture reading he read the passage from Isaiah that says
22:21 the Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has
22:24 anointed me to preach glad tidings to the meek, bind up the
22:27 broken hearted, set at liberty them that are bound, to proclaim
22:30 the acceptable year of the Lord, just this wonderful description
22:34 of the Messiah and his mission. He finished reading that passage
22:37 and we're told that he closed the scroll and handed it back to
22:41 the attendant and that all eyes were upon him. Now I can just
22:45 imagine the tension in the air when Jesus read that. People
22:50 somehow sensing that the very fulfillment of those prophecies
22:54 was reading them out of the scroll and the tension in the
22:58 air in that moment, all eyes upon him and then he said to the
23:02 people, and the air is dead silent, he said today this
23:05 scripture is fulfilled in your ears. When I read that, Shelley,
23:08 I just said Jesus was not afraid to say who he was. That's
23:11 assertiveness, that's gracious assertiveness. It's for their
23:15 good to know who he is. Sometimes it's for people's good
23:18 to know the role we have served in their lives and we need to
23:22 just ask them for proper recognition.
23:24 I don't want people to get the wrong idea because I used that
23:28 example because I don't think it's important that we all get
23:32 credit for what we do. There are times though when somebody is
23:35 being stepped on and that was just one example but there are
23:39 times when something is repeatedly happening that
23:42 whatever it is we need to first go to them and request that this
23:47 behavior stop. If they don't we need to appeal to them
23:50 explaining what our reason is and how would they feel if
23:53 this was happening to them and then third is to make a gracious
23:57 demand saying that this is not acceptable.
24:00 That's right. This would be the consequence if this need isn't
24:03 filled. That's excellent. You have really grasped this thing.
24:08 I get an A. We've just got a few minutes left. Tell us how to
24:13 make a gracious demand because we're talking about being as
24:17 Christians graciously assertive. We don't want this to be
24:21 something that we're going out and it's me, me, me, or I, I, I.
24:24 But how can you be graciously assertive?
24:27 First step we need to deal with our own wrong ideas about
24:30 assertiveness. Sometimes we're afraid of making people angry
24:33 or we assume that they'll become angry. We need to deal with our
24:36 own thinking. They won't necessarily become angry.
24:39 We also need to deal with the fear of hurting people.
24:41 Sometimes hurt is a good thing. We shouldn't be so concerned or
24:46 so protective towards other people's feelings that we
24:49 withhold what they really need which is kind of a revelation of
24:52 what's going on with us. And then another thing that is an
24:56 idol for many is the desire to be popular. Being popular isn't
25:00 all it's cracked up to be. Jesus said beware when all men speak
25:03 well of you. So a little unpopularity is actually a good
25:07 sign. So we need to first deal with our own thinking. But then
25:09 what I'd recommend in terms of dealing directly with a person
25:12 in a tense situation is to make a sandwich. Begin with an
25:15 affirmation. This is what I love about working with you or this
25:19 is what I love about being married to you. These are your
25:22 good qualities. Then you put the tough stuff in the middle and
25:25 then you end with another soft piece of bread so to speak.
25:28 Something that's affirming and kind and gives them a sense that
25:32 there's good there, you're not condemning them, you don't have
25:37 contempt for them. Give them a definite sense of this is what
25:40 you would need to do to fix this situation for me. Don't just
25:44 condemn them for what they're doing but give them definite
25:47 concrete goals that they can achieve that will better the
25:51 situation. To me there's nothing worse than
25:55 a demanding person. So when you meet someone that's constantly
26:00 have to have it their way, we're not trying to set that example
26:04 up here. But what we're saying is that there are times when
26:08 you see principles being violated that are very important
26:13 Christian principles, that there are times to stand up whether it
26:17 is something that has to do with self or with your children or in
26:21 your work place, there are times to stand up and say I need...
26:26 this is not right, here's what I would like. That's the request
26:31 then there's the appeal and then the demand is by saying however
26:35 you said, sandwich it to go in there and it's not being
26:38 demanding but it is saying this is unacceptable. Here is what is
26:43 acceptable and therein lies the demand.
26:45 That's good. I can tell you've dealt with a lot of these types
26:49 of situations and you've grasped right onto them. It's affirming
26:52 to me because I sort of came up with this idea because it works.
26:55 But, yeah I think it's helpful.
26:57 I like the RAD. Request, Appeal, Demand.
27:00 So thank you so much, Jennifer. Our time just flies by when
27:04 your here. This is good. Thank you for coming and we want to
27:08 have you come back again. Sounds good.
27:10 For those of you at home, I hope that you don't take anything
27:13 out of context that we said today because we're not trying
27:16 to make you a demanding Christian that has to have
27:19 your way, but rather to learn to accept that spirit of power,
27:24 love and self-discipline and know when to stand up for the
27:27 principles of God's word. What's right and what should be
27:32 happening. Remember request, appeal and then a gracious
27:36 demand so that you have those stages up and you can bring
27:42 into the picture the reality that God wants there to be.
27:47 Now I pray that the love of the Father, the grace of our Lord
27:52 Jesus Christ and the fellowship
27:54 of the Holy Spirit will be with you throughout the day.