Issues and Answers

Myths About Relationships And Risky Behavior

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Schulz


Series Code: IAA

Program Code: IAA000301

00:30 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
00:31 Welcome again to Issues and Answers.
00:34 I want to make a special appeal; if you are 12 years old
00:37 to 20 years old you need to stay tuned.
00:39 If you're the parent of a young teenager you need to stay tuned.
00:43 For that matter, if you are 20 to 35 years old
00:46 and you're single, please stay tuned because we are
00:48 going to be talking about a very intriguing topic today.
00:52 And this is all about risky behavior;
00:55 myths about sexual behavior.
00:58 Can we really have safe sex?
01:01 We're going to answer some of those questions.
01:02 I want to give you a scripture passage that will be pertinent
01:06 to what we're talking about.
01:07 It comes from I Corinthians Chapter 6.
01:10 Let me read verses 18 thru 20 for you.
01:14 This comes from the Amplified, and Paul writes and he says,
01:17 Shun immorality and all sexual looseness.
01:20 Flee from impurity in thought, word, and deed.
01:24 Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body.
01:28 But he who commits sexual immorality sins against
01:33 his own body.
01:34 Do you not know that your body is the temple for the very
01:38 sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who lives within you,
01:41 whom you have received as a gift from God?
01:44 You are not your own.
01:46 You were bought with a price, purchased with a preciousness,
01:50 and paid for.
01:52 You are made his very own.
01:54 So then honor God and bring glory to him in your body.
01:58 Jesus paid a very high price for you with His own life blood,
02:03 and He's got a plan for your life, and I think it's better
02:06 than the one most of us are living.
02:07 Let me introduce to you our very special guests.
02:10 We have Pastor Dustin Hall.
02:12 Pastor it is so wonderful to have you returning to 3ABN.
02:16 Thank you. It's great to be here.
02:18 And then we also have Dr. Robert Castellanos.
02:22 I said it!
02:23 I knew I did it.
02:24 And you are a family practitioner in the Ithaca area.
02:28 What is the name of the town?
02:29 Cortland.
02:31 Cortland, New York.
02:32 And that is in Central New York and you have a church in
02:34 Ithaca, New York where Cornell is. Yes.
02:36 Okay, and you actually have three churches.
02:38 I do. I pastor three churches.
02:39 Okay. You know, I recently read your book,
02:43 and we're going to be talking.
02:44 You were here earlier and we talked about this book some.
02:47 Today we're going to be talking about myths
02:49 about sexual behavior.
02:50 And this is an interesting title for a book.
02:53 I have to admit it was a little bit appalling to me at first,
02:56 and now I'm getting used to the idea. But it's called The Gospel
03:00 of Sex; Dating, Relating, and Mating.
03:02 But what a wonderful book, and I'm so thankful that you
03:04 have written this. Why did you write the book?
03:07 Well, I didn't want young people to ever be able to say,
03:09 No one ever told me this stuff!
03:11 That's good!
03:12 I grew up in a Christian church and a Christian home,
03:15 and no one ever talked to me about these issues.
03:19 Two years ago I started going into public school classrooms
03:23 and talking to secular kids about sexual issues,
03:27 and saving sex until marriage.
03:28 And as I was putting it together, that curriculum.
03:31 I sat back and I thought, You know, nobody ever addressed
03:34 these things with me.
03:35 Nobody ever talked to me about these things.
03:37 And so God put it on my heart to sit down and write a book
03:41 so that Christian young people, and young people everywhere
03:45 that read the book will never be able to say Nobody told me this.
03:48 That's wonderful!
03:49 You know we have so much to cover in this program that
03:53 what I'd like to do is just cut to the chase and hop in on some
03:57 of these myths.
03:59 And let me ask you, doctor, first.
04:01 May I call you Robert? Robert.
04:03 Okay, Robert, let me ask you first because the one that comes
04:07 to my mind about the myths is that you have to have sexual
04:12 intercourse to get an STD.
04:15 No you don't.
04:16 Just touching can be a problem.
04:19 Mercy!
04:20 Human papilloma virus; it's so prevalent that half of the men
04:25 that are sexually active that you see out there
04:28 have this disease. Half?
04:30 Have, half, yes. Mercy!
04:32 And about half of the women, too, that are sexually active.
04:35 It causes cancer.
04:36 And just touching gives you some of the diseases.
04:39 Let me tell you that if you wear a condom...
04:41 Can I say that word? Surely.
04:43 100% of the time you still have the risk of getting HPV
04:48 or getting Herpes.
04:49 HPV is the human papilloma virus. Okay.
04:53 For the herpes, genital herpes virus, 30% of the time.
04:57 So it doesn't protect you.
05:00 Things don't protect you.
05:01 This isn't even, the odds aren't even as good as playing
05:04 Russian roulette then, are they?
05:05 Which you bring out in your book. Exactly!
05:08 Is there any such thing as having, quote, unquote,
05:12 safe sex? No, because...
05:14 Well, yeah, the only safe sex happens inside marriage. Okay.
05:18 But if you start to think about mental and emotional issues,
05:22 you start to think about physical issues, you know,
05:24 something that young people have always heard,
05:26 pregnancy, STD's, you know, they've heard all of those
05:30 things before.
05:31 And an STD, for those who aren't in awareness,
05:34 is sexually transmitted disease.
05:36 They're also such things as sexually transmitted infections
05:39 as well, but that's kind of medical jargon that we don't
05:42 need to get into. But they're not the same thing.
05:45 But any time you have sex with someone that is not your husband
05:50 or your wife you are at risk to contracting a sexually
05:54 transmitted disease, or putting your heart out there on the line
05:58 for someone to stamp on by ending the relationship,
06:02 or if you get pregnant, if you have a consequence,
06:07 or make a bad decision, you're putting an obstacle to maybe
06:11 reaching a goal or dream that you might have later in life.
06:13 It is such risky behavior anytime you put yourself,
06:18 you put your body, give your body over to somebody,
06:20 before you're married to them.
06:22 You know, I'm thinking about the human papilloma virus,
06:27 which this is the one that they have just recently come up with
06:30 the shot for the young people.
06:34 How do you feel about, since this is such a risky business,
06:37 about having that shot for your young person?
06:41 It's still high risk.
06:42 I give the shot to my patients because they ask for it.
06:45 And there is some protection.
06:47 But there's 30 viruses out there that cause a disease.
06:53 30 viruses!
06:54 And it's only protecting against 4, 2 cause warts, and 2 cause
06:59 the actual cancer, or it can cause the cancer.
07:03 And it doesn't protect you 100% of the time.
07:05 It protects you 80% of those 2 that cause cancer.
07:09 Now if a child comes to you, gets the immunization,
07:12 and it feels I'm protected now, against this one disease!
07:16 What about all the other diseases? That's true.
07:19 It's not protecting them from? That's true.
07:21 But if we don't get...
07:23 You know, one of the myths is, kind of like, with these things
07:28 about what we can do to protect our self now.
07:30 It's kind of like, okay, I can do this to protect myself and
07:34 not get a disease, or I can do this to protect myself, maybe,
07:39 and not get pregnant, taking the pill or whatever.
07:42 So if I don't get a disease, or if I don't get pregnant,
07:46 then there's a myth out there that there's no other
07:49 consequences for having sex outside of marriage.
07:53 What would you say are the consequences?
07:55 Anytime you have sex with someone you're turning yourself
07:58 over to them; your mind, your heart, and your body.
08:02 And there's a study that's recently been done on oxytocin.
08:06 And maybe the good doctor can talk to us a little bit
08:09 about that, but basically...
08:10 Well, let me defer to you on that with the study of oxytocin.
08:14 There was a study done back in the 1990's.
08:16 Oxytocin or Potosin; it's what happens in a woman when you're
08:19 delivering a baby.
08:20 When you deliver a baby..
08:22 This is happening, a chemical in your body?
08:24 It's a hormone in your body that goes down there
08:26 and contracts the uterus to prevent it from bleeding
08:30 any further. Okay.
08:31 After you deliver a baby then your placenta comes.
08:33 But it also, we discovered, helps in the bonding
08:37 with the baby. Hum.
08:39 You need it for bonding with the baby.
08:41 There are other events where this happens.
08:44 It happens at delivery.
08:45 It happens with sex. Okay.
08:49 What else does it happen for? Breast feeding!
08:50 Breast feeding, yes, it happens when you breast feed.
08:53 There's a bonding.
08:54 Let's say you're having sex for the very first time,
08:57 with your very first boyfriend, and you bind
09:01 with this boyfriend. Great!
09:03 You bind and then you break up a month later. Yes.
09:05 Let's say you have sex again with your second boyfriend.
09:08 And the Potosin goes up, the oxytocin goes up, and you bind
09:11 again, and you bind again for the third, the fourth,
09:14 the fifth, the twelfth time.
09:15 What's happening to that binding process?
09:18 It's disappearing.
09:19 The beauty of this is that after some time, if you become
09:23 abstinent, your body reformulates itself,
09:27 resets itself, and it can become a binding experience again.
09:31 But it takes time.
09:33 But kids think they can have sex over and over again
09:36 without problems.
09:37 It's a big problem.
09:38 Yes, and this attitude, this very casual cavalier attitude
09:42 towards sex, you know, I just want to tell you something,
09:44 first of all, the most important decision you'll ever make
09:48 in your life is accepting Jesus as your Savior, but the second
09:51 most important decision you'll ever make in your life is
09:54 who you marry.
09:55 And, you know, my mother always told me, don't date somebody
09:58 that you wouldn't marry.
10:00 Well, that means really you probably should postpone
10:04 the dating process because you're not in any...
10:07 You know, if I'm thinking, if you're giving yourself over
10:10 to someone when you're 16 years old, by the time you're maybe
10:14 out of college and ready to marry, that specialness is gone.
10:19 I mean it's something...
10:20 A lot of people say, you know, we're going to get married
10:24 someday anyway, so God honors our commitment.
10:26 But really you don't know you're going to marry someone
10:28 until you're standing at the altar saying your vows.
10:31 That's true.
10:32 So a lot of people justify what they're doing, or try to justify
10:35 what they're doing by saying, we can't get married right now,
10:37 but we will someday.
10:38 But the reality is that you don't know until you're there
10:43 saying your vows.
10:44 I had a friend who told me, I feel guilty for not
10:47 feeling guilty.
10:48 But I know we're getting married.
10:50 You know, when they were engaged eight years;
10:52 never did get married.
10:54 And so, as a matter of fact, it really tore her heart out.
10:59 So you're right, you don't know till you're there. That's right.
11:03 And some people have actually been to the altar, and you don't
11:07 even know there until you actually say the I do.
11:10 That's exactly right.
11:11 But now there's another myth that you hear and occasionally
11:16 you'll hear from people who are maybe in a process of
11:19 justification, if you will, or trying to justify themself,
11:22 that they'll say, there's no Biblical evidence that, I mean,
11:25 yes, there's Biblical evidence that adultery is a sin,
11:28 but they'll say, no, there's no Biblical evidence that sex
11:31 outside of marriage is a sin.
11:33 Well, we could take you to Ephesians 5, I Corinthians 6,
11:36 the books of Exodus and Leviticus.
11:38 All throughout the scriptures we see that any sexual contact
11:42 outside of marriage is not according to God's plan.
11:45 And, you know, I think about that and I think anyone who
11:49 makes that statement, really if you're saying that I don't
11:54 believe that it's here, I believe that it's in God's will
11:56 for me to give myself over to somebody,
11:59 and even though I know it might be kind of wrong,
12:02 I might be convicted on this, but I'm going to give myself
12:05 to this person anyway.
12:06 I question that because that's saying this other person means
12:10 more to me than God means to me.
12:13 And that's saying, you know, I'm going to turn my back
12:16 on God's plan for my life in order to share a feeling
12:20 with someone else, or share an experience with someone else.
12:23 And so, you know, I think we should really think about that.
12:26 You know, most people that say that, most people that say,
12:30 Well, is it really in God's Word?
12:32 I believe they know that it's there.
12:33 They're just trying to come up with an excuse for justifying
12:37 what they're already doing.
12:38 And there are so many scriptures; we read some
12:40 to begin with today from I Corinthians 6:18-20.
12:46 You know, also you have to think back, and you're thinking,
12:49 When God created Adam and Eve He didn't just say,
12:52 Go out and be each other's playmates.
12:54 He also established marriage right there and He said the two
12:57 should become one.
12:59 And that is what you were talking about; this oxytocin.
13:04 You know this bonding, this chemical release.
13:07 It's a hormonal release.
13:08 But, you know, this is a difficult topic because we're
13:13 going very much counter culture right now.
13:16 And there are a lot of parents out there who are in the church
13:20 who think because their children have been brought up to honor
13:24 God, and honor God's Word, and they may have seen these verses,
13:27 they're thinking, Well, my kid's not involved in this
13:31 kind of stuff.
13:32 Now there are some other parents who are out there thinking,
13:35 my kid's not going to listen to me no matter what I do.
13:38 What would you say to these parents?
13:39 There was a study done on young people, a survey,
13:43 and there were several options.
13:46 The question was, what has the greatest influence on your life?
13:50 Is it television? Is it friends?
13:51 Is it the internet? Is it music?
13:53 Or is it your parents?
13:54 And over 90% of those young people chose parents as their
13:59 number one influence.
14:00 Hum, praise God!
14:02 So parents, you have the greatest influence on your
14:07 children over every aspect of their life, but especially
14:10 sexual issues.
14:11 And if you don't set a standard in your home for your children,
14:14 who's going to set that standard?
14:15 Is it their friends?
14:16 Is it the television?
14:18 Is it something else?
14:19 If you don't set that standard, and you don't tell your children
14:23 what you expect of them, and their behavior,
14:24 and their relationships, they're going to find
14:26 a standard someplace else, and that's scary.
14:30 Amen, amen!
14:31 It's something that when we think about, you know,
14:34 it's just so prevalent in today's society.
14:38 What would you say is the most common...
14:42 Name off some of the most common of the sexually transmitted
14:48 diseases, and what had been your personal experience?
14:51 Well, we have herpes, human papilloma virus, gonorrhea,
14:55 Chlamydia, to name a few.
14:58 Pregnancy, you know, it's not a disease, but if you don't want
15:02 a pregnancy then what is it?
15:04 And if you're going to have an abortion, then what is that?
15:07 Did you know, excuse me for interrupting,
15:09 did you know, I heard today that the federal government is
15:13 getting ready to fund a special study on the psychological
15:18 effects of abortion on women.
15:20 Which I'm very excited about that, but there are so many
15:26 psychological effects that women don't recognize going into it.
15:30 Can I jump in here and add something to what he was saying?
15:32 There are more people in the United States that have genital
15:36 herpes than Canada has population.
15:38 You're kidding! No!
15:40 One in four people in this country have genital herpes.
15:44 And doctor, is there a cure for genital herpes?
15:47 No, there isn't.
15:48 It's going to be with you for life.
15:50 Did I tell you about the patient I had?
15:52 Yeah, tell us.
15:53 I had a patient who came in twenty years
15:56 after he was married.
15:57 He came in with a rash on his hip.
15:59 On his hip, not on his genitals, but on his hip.
16:01 He had a rash that wouldn't go away.
16:04 Every year it would come back.
16:05 It would be there for a week or two; very painful.
16:07 And the rash would eventually just disappear on its own.
16:11 I did some studies and found out it was genital herpes.
16:14 He's been married twenty years, and now he's paying the price
16:17 of what he did in high school.
16:19 It doesn't go away.
16:21 So when you were answering the question about how parents
16:25 have a great influence on their children, but what about
16:28 are children really involved?
16:30 I mean, are Christian young people involved in the same
16:35 ways of the world? Yes!
16:36 I was recently at a Christian school, a Christian high school,
16:41 and I had numerous young people come into the room that they
16:46 gave me to speak with, a class room there that the school
16:49 gave me, and over ten, and the school has seventy students.
16:53 Ten of those came in to talk to me and said, I'm involved.
16:57 How do I stop?
16:58 Or my girlfriend is trying to get me to get involved,
17:01 or my boyfriend is trying to do this, or my girlfriend's
17:03 trying to do that. How do I stop?
17:05 How do I avoid?
17:06 How do I deal with these issues?
17:08 They didn't know.
17:09 And that was only ten, so chances are those were the
17:12 courageous ten that were willing to come forward.
17:14 So chances are there were at least ten, or twelve, or fifteen
17:18 more that were involved in these and didn't have the courage
17:21 to come forward and talk to me about these things.
17:23 One in three women under the age of twenty become pregnant.
17:27 That's such an astonishing statistic.
17:30 That's not just non-Christian; that's all, of all women.
17:35 They do studies on the entire population.
17:37 They don't just separate Christians from non-Christians.
17:40 So when you're talking with these young adults,
17:43 I mean, how do you feel that most of them are getting
17:46 trapped in this?
17:47 Is it just because they've not been told?
17:49 Or is it because of peer pressure?
17:51 How are they becoming involved in this type of risky behavior?
17:56 You know, it's many things.
17:58 But the thing that I like to address most with young people,
18:01 and they quite often hear, it's lust, it's lust, it's lust,
18:04 it's lust.
18:05 But what I've found is that lust is only a piece of the puzzle.
18:08 I really believe infatuation is the biggest piece.
18:12 And in fact, because we believe a lie in our culture about
18:15 what true love is.
18:17 We believe that it's sweaty palms, and butterflies in your
18:20 belly, and intense sexual feelings, and just lighter
18:24 than air feelings.
18:25 But in reality that's not love, because infatuation wears off.
18:30 And what happens in many relationships, these infatuation
18:34 feelings wear off and later on they begin to look at someone
18:37 and they go, They're not patient.
18:38 They're not kind.
18:39 They're not loving.
18:40 They don't satisfy my needs just in a
18:43 relationship standpoint.
18:45 So, let me put into perspective what you're saying.
18:48 What you're saying is you may at the age of eighteen become
18:51 involved with a young man, or maybe one of the myths says
18:56 that an older boyfriend makes the best boyfriend,
18:58 so maybe you're eighteen and a senior in high school,
19:01 and you're dating someone in college, and you become sexually
19:04 active, and perhaps you're so infatuated you think it's love.
19:08 You get married and find out, What have I done?
19:11 I've married the wrong person. That's exactly right.
19:13 Is that what you're saying? That's exactly what I'm saying.
19:16 And when you throw sex into the mix, in an infatuation based
19:18 relationship, it clouds up your decision making,
19:22 because not only are you having all these wonderful feelings,
19:24 now you're having all those wonderful bonding feelings
19:26 from sexual experience, and you don't have time,
19:30 or the mental focus to be able to look at "How does this guy
19:34 treat his mother?"
19:35 You know?
19:36 How does she work with her money?
19:39 Does she save her money?
19:41 Does she spend it frivolously?
19:42 All of those things that are important for a marriage
19:45 relationship. When you're infatuated you're high
19:47 on the heroin of infatuation; it just feels so good!
19:50 And then you throw sex in there and it's another great surge
19:54 of emotion, and so you're not looking at what's important.
19:57 And what's important is the things that love
19:59 are truly based on. Yes.
20:00 Kindness, and patience, and all of those service and
20:05 submission kind of things that love's based on.
20:07 It sounds so old fashioned to some people, but it is...
20:11 You know, you hear that as people become older they all
20:15 come back to that.
20:16 I wish I'd listened to my parents,
20:17 or I wished I'd listened here.
20:19 You know, you asked the question, How do these kids
20:21 get involved in this?
20:22 One of the biggest factors is parents.
20:25 Parents now days want to protect their children, but they want to
20:30 protect them from getting diseases, and getting pregnant,
20:34 not from having sex.
20:36 Because they think they can't protect them though.
20:38 They think they can't protect them, but they're telling the
20:40 kids now; wear a condom.
20:41 Yes.
20:42 Be careful.
20:43 Choose your partners.
20:44 What is that telling our children?
20:46 Go ahead and do it, but just be careful.
20:49 I like to use this illustration.
20:52 Sorry to cut you off there.
20:53 No, go ahead!
20:54 If I buy you a brand new Mustang.
20:56 Say I'm your father and I buy you a brand new Mustang;
20:58 souped-up, beautiful, convertible.
21:00 I mean this thing will just run like crazy!
21:02 And I say, Never drive this over the speed limit.
21:05 Never drive it over the speed limit, and you'll never
21:08 get in an accident.
21:09 I know where you're going!
21:10 You'll never get a ticket, you'll never get hurt.
21:13 No chance whatsoever!
21:14 Okay, I set that standard for you.
21:16 You know what I expect of you.
21:18 Right.
21:19 But what if I say, Or, wear your seat belt and you can drive
21:23 as fast as you want, as much as you want, and chances are
21:26 you'll never get a ticket, you'll never get hurt,
21:28 or you'll never cause a problem with your car.
21:30 Which one are you going to pick?
21:31 Ha, I thought you were going to say, or the next thing is to
21:35 hand you a radar detector to say, you know, Okay,
21:38 but even now.
21:40 And that's an excellent...
21:42 Human beings always want to choose the least
21:45 restrictive message. Yes.
21:46 If I say to you, Don't have sex.
21:49 As a parent, you know that the standard that I have set is,
21:52 I don't want you to have sex until you're married.
21:54 But if I say, Don't have sex, but if you do protect yourself!
21:58 You know, as a child, we start as a baby.
22:00 The Pastor has a newborn baby seven weeks old.
22:02 That baby can control his life.
22:05 When that baby screams and cries he can come running,
22:09 and the baby will learn, Wow, if I scream and cry, Dad's coming
22:12 over to feed me or call Mom.
22:14 So it happens when they're young?
22:16 They test their parents.
22:17 As they get older kids continue to test their parents.
22:20 As a 15 year old, Hum, I got Dad's car keys.
22:25 If I turn the car on will my Dad let me?
22:27 He did!
22:29 Maybe I can drive it down the road.
22:31 When do you stop telling your kids, or when do you start
22:36 controlling your kids actions? Amen!
22:38 We don't stop.
22:40 Okay, we're getting close here to running out of time,
22:44 and there's a couple of things that are on my mind.
22:45 There's two things.
22:46 Number One: Young people who are dating and get involved
22:51 in this and say, Let's live together and then we'll,
22:54 you know, we can't afford to get married right now,
22:56 or we're in school.
22:57 I want to talk about this idea of living together,
23:00 but the other thing, before the program runs out,
23:02 is I want to talk about not just the myth busting things
23:06 that we're discussing, but how do you avoid getting into these
23:11 compromising positions? Uh huh!
23:13 Alright, the first question.
23:15 People that live together have a 50% higher divorce rate than
23:20 people that don't live together before they're married. Oh my!
23:24 And let's ask ourselves why that is.
23:26 Well, if you lived together before you're married you're
23:28 treating each other like husband and wife.
23:30 You're doing the bills together.
23:32 You're eating together.
23:33 You're sleeping together.
23:34 You're doing all the things that husbands and wives do,
23:36 but you don't have the commitment.
23:37 But now, some will say, Well, marriage is just a
23:40 piece of paper.
23:41 Can I have the title to your car?
23:43 Ah, there you go!
23:45 Can I have the deed to your house?
23:46 Very good!
23:47 See, those are pieces of paper, but they have meaning,
23:50 and commitment behind them.
23:51 That's very good.
23:53 You see, and the marriage license has a commitment
23:55 behind it, a lifelong commitment behind it. That's good.
23:58 And people that live together before they're married,
24:01 they do all the things that husbands and wives do,
24:04 but they don't have the commitment.
24:06 And so when they get married they go about life just as if
24:11 they had been before they were married.
24:13 And they go in with the mindset of, I can live life the way
24:17 I was going, but I don't have the commitment.
24:19 So when they get into the marriage and things start to get
24:21 rocky; I don't have the commitment.
24:23 So that's why I believe there's a 50% higher divorce rate
24:27 for people that lived together before they were married
24:29 than if they had.
24:31 Okay, there are young people watching us right now,
24:34 and we only have two minutes.
24:35 Tell me some things that they can do to protect themself from
24:39 being in a vulnerable situation.
24:41 Date in groups. Yes.
24:43 Get to know each other in groups.
24:44 Get to know the character of somebody.
24:46 Get to know who they are, and what they're all about.
24:48 Don't spend time alone with one another.
24:51 Don't go off for long drives at night up in the forest.
24:56 Don't go parking!
24:58 My mother always told me...
25:00 Don't go to your boyfriend's house alone. Amen!
25:03 Half of the pregnancies occur in the boyfriend's house.
25:06 Not the back seat like it used to be in our days.
25:09 It's in the boyfriend's house.
25:11 Tell someone where you stand ahead of time before it presents
25:14 itself in a relationship.
25:15 Okay, so sit down, yeah it's an awkward conversation,
25:18 but sit down and have the talk and say, You know what?
25:21 I've made a decision to keep myself pure for my husband
25:23 or my wife someday, so I want you to know that we won't be
25:27 getting physical in this relationship. You know, when
25:29 you start to date someone let them know ahead of time.
25:31 Sex is not an option unless we become married. That's right.
25:37 The lady from Planned Parenthood says when she walks into
25:39 the room where there's a lot of teenagers, the first thing
25:41 she says is, Hand show!
25:43 I want to see where your hands are.
25:45 Who hoo, Oooh, Mercy!
25:48 Can we do that as parents?
25:49 And so it's so, so very important to let people know
25:53 where you stand ahead of time on something.
25:56 So you might think that's an awkward conversation to have,
25:59 but isn't it more awkward to kick somebody off from you?
26:02 When you're getting involved, or worse, you don't,
26:05 because you get too hot and heavy in a relationship.
26:09 Use your voice! Rely on God!
26:12 You know, we always say, Have faith!
26:13 But what does that mean?
26:14 You know, know what God's standard is for you.
26:16 Absolutely!
26:18 And go to Him and find what He wants for your life.
26:20 Absolutely! Speak up!
26:22 You know, if somebody starts to pressure you, get up to leave,
26:25 and say, This is it!
26:26 Or if they have something inappropriate on the television
26:28 say, I'm not staying here if this is going to continue.
26:31 And then if it takes it leave. Get out of there!
26:33 Say, I'm out of the car, I'm out of the house, I'm out of here,
26:36 because I'm not going to put myself in a more
26:38 vulnerable situation.
26:39 You know, Pastor Dustin, we're already getting out of time
26:42 here, but I'm thinking as you're talking.
26:44 It has to do with the music.
26:45 It has to do with what you're watching on television.
26:48 It has to do with so many things that we don't recognize,
26:51 that we open ourselves to make ourselves vulnerable,
26:54 and put ourselves in those vulnerable positions.
26:57 That's right. So this was some great advice.
26:59 Sexual purity is a lifestyle.
27:01 It's not just an act. Amen!
27:03 And it's a lifestyle that remains even after marriage,
27:07 but boy it is all the benefits of marriage; the joy of sex!
27:10 God made sex to be something very beautiful, and it's a gift
27:15 for a husband and wife.
27:16 Can I say one more thing? Sure.
27:17 If you've made a mistake in the past, today can be the first day
27:20 of the rest of your life.
27:21 You're not hopeless.
27:23 You can make the decision today not to put yourself vulnerable,
27:26 and you are not stuck in a rut.
27:28 You can make a decision to overcome those mistakes
27:31 in the past, and you can live a pure life starting today.
27:33 I know that if you confess your sin that Jesus is,
27:36 God is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin,
27:38 and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness. Amen.
27:41 Thank you, gentlemen, so much for being here.
27:43 It was really a pleasure. Thank you.
27:45 And for those of you at home, May the grace of our Lord Jesus
27:49 Christ, and the love of the Father, and the fellowship
27:51 of the Holy Spirit be with you today and always.
27:54 And you young people enjoy sexual purity.


Revised 2014-12-17