Issues and Answers

Straight Answers About Love, Sex And Relationships

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Dustin Hall and Robert Castellanos


Series Code: IAA

Program Code: IAA000300

00:30 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
00:32 And welcome again to Issues and Answers.
00:34 We have what I think is one of the most exciting programs
00:37 that we've done in a long time.
00:39 Today we're going to be talking about sexual purity
00:42 among young people, so I want you to stay tuned.
00:45 This is going to be very exciting.
00:47 Let me share a scripture with you before I
00:49 introduce our guests.
00:50 And this comes from Proverbs, Chapter 5, and excuse me,
00:54 Proverbs Chapter 4 and it's verses 25 through 27.
00:59 Here's what the Bible says: Let your eyes look right on
01:04 with fixed purpose, and let your gaze be straight before you.
01:08 Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways
01:12 be established and ordered aright.
01:14 Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left.
01:19 Remove your foot from evil.
01:22 Oh that sounds like good advice, but can we do it?
01:25 Yes, we can!
01:27 And here to talk about that, I have two very special guests.
01:31 We have Pastor Dustin Hall.
01:33 And Pastor Hall, may I call you Dustin? Yes, you may.
01:36 Well, it is wonderful to have you with us today.
01:38 And we also have Dr. Robert Castellanos.
01:43 Pastor Castellanos. Yanos!
01:45 Well, I was close: Castellanos.
01:48 And you are a family practitioner, is that correct?
01:51 Yes.
01:52 Well, now you gentlemen come from the, is it the
01:54 Central part of New York? Yes, Central New York.
01:57 Upstate in the Finger Lakes region of New York.
01:59 Okay, and this is Ithaca, near where Cornell University is?
02:03 Yes, Cornell University is located in Ithaca. Yes.
02:06 We're just so glad that you've come here.
02:08 And the occasion for them coming is a book that Pastor Hall has
02:13 written, and it has a rather shocking title.
02:16 I have to tell you, Dustin, I was reading this book today.
02:19 I was at the hospital to have a test, and I wanted to thumb
02:23 through this before we talked.
02:25 And this title is "The Gospel of Sex; Dating, Relating,
02:30 and Mating".
02:32 And there was some little lady sitting next to me.
02:33 I put the book down for a moment and she kind of looked over
02:36 and she looked so shocked, and I had to explain to her.
02:39 I said it's a strange title, but boy this is a wonderful book.
02:43 How'd you come up with this title?
02:45 Well, I wanted something that would strike
02:47 to the heart of young people.
02:49 I wanted something that would catch their eye.
02:50 And sometimes we're, we get stuffy, and we don't like to be
02:55 open about some of these things.
02:57 We don't need to be silly about sexual issues.
02:59 We need to be open and more honest, and just be
03:03 right up front with our young people
03:05 when we're addressing these issues.
03:06 And I thought with that title, and with, you know,
03:10 a young person walks by or sees it online and says,
03:13 "Hum, I want to know more about that. "
03:15 And gospel means good news, and there is good news about sex.
03:18 Now why did you; I have tell you also, Dustin,
03:21 that I'm thrilled to, when I met you, I'm thrilled to see that
03:25 you are a young man because I was so concerned that possibly
03:30 it was some "old codger" like myself who'd written this book.
03:32 and all the teens are going to be saying, What does it matter?
03:36 You know, "What does she know?
03:38 But why did you write this book?
03:40 Well, two years ago I was going into public school classrooms
03:44 and teaching Abstinence Until Marriage.
03:47 And as I was putting together the curriculum for that program
03:52 I was sitting back and I was thinking,
03:56 You know, in the church.
03:57 I grew up in a Christian home.
03:59 And I never once heard a teacher, preacher, an elder,
04:02 anyone say anything, or set any standard
04:05 on that topic in church. It's amazing!
04:08 And I thought, well if that's my experience, that probably
04:11 is the experience of many other young people as well.
04:13 And I got to thinking, I don't ever want a young person to be,
04:17 ever to be able to say, "No one ever told me this stuff. "
04:21 And so I began to present this in churches to youth groups.
04:26 And last April I was on 3ABN Today, and after the program
04:32 I got a flood of e-mails asking me,
04:34 "Do you have any written topics?
04:35 Do you have anything recorded on this topic?
04:37 And I had to say, "Well, no, I don't at this point. "
04:40 But I got so many e-mails I began to think, You know what?
04:43 Maybe I need to sit down and write a book. Amen!
04:45 And, by the grace of God, you know, I'd never tried to write
04:48 a book before, but by the grace of God, He gave me the words
04:50 and we got it all together, and there it is.
04:54 And, I mean, it's well written and it's easy to go through.
04:56 There's great solid advice in here, and really lets young
05:01 people know what God's standards are, but very practical
05:05 advice as to how we can live up to those standards.
05:08 Now, you know, it's interesting to me.
05:11 How about you, Robert?
05:12 When you grew up did you hear this message about sexual purity
05:15 and waiting until marriage? I didn't! You didn't?
05:18 I'm so shocked! That's all I ever heard!
05:20 My mother told me this, I mean from the time I was probably
05:25 nine years old on we talked about these things so openly.
05:28 And I heard it in church as well, but...
05:30 You know, I'm the school doctor for three school districts.
05:33 And over twenty years what we hear is the secular view of sex,
05:38 and sex education.
05:39 When I heard this; when I heard what Dustin does,
05:42 I was excited. Amen!
05:43 This is wonderful!
05:45 To actually bring something like this to our youth,
05:47 to our Christian youth, and to have them see that there is
05:51 a reason for sex, and a reason to hold off
05:54 until you're married.
05:55 And you use this word abstinence.
05:57 Now we didn't talk about that before.
05:59 I mean when I was younger it was just wait until you get
06:03 it was a special blessing, etc.
06:05 But what, when you say abstinence,
06:08 what is your definition of abstinence?
06:11 Well, you know, you play with what word to use.
06:14 You can say purity, you can say chastity, and the word that I
06:19 was using when I was in the secular classrooms in the public
06:22 schools was abstinence.
06:24 And so that just sort of transferred into the book.
06:26 And abstinence, the definition that I use, it would depend on
06:29 where you looked for the definition.
06:31 But the definition that I use is a personal decision to abstain
06:35 from all sexual activity until marriage regardless of the past.
06:39 So no matter what's happened in your past,
06:40 today can be the first day of the rest of your life.
06:43 Alright, I love that!
06:45 It's not just abstaining or not being actively involved in any
06:51 kind of sexual activity until you get married.
06:53 But you say regardless of your past.
06:56 And that means that, for example, Dustin I was just
07:01 talking with a young lady who came to me for some advice
07:04 and some encouragement.
07:05 And she's 13 years old and was becoming involved in certain
07:09 things, and I talked to her about how God can restore you.
07:13 And even if you're not a physical virgin you can become
07:16 a spiritual virgin again. Amen.
07:18 So talk to us about that past issue, because that's important.
07:22 Well, you know, when Jesus comes
07:24 He's going to restore our bodies.
07:25 He's going to give us glorified bodies.
07:27 And we can never do something again for the first time.
07:30 Amen!
07:32 And that's the experience with sex.
07:34 You know, if you've made a mistake in the past,
07:36 you can never have sex again for the first time,
07:39 but what you can do is say, Lord forgive me.
07:41 I want to move on and I want to make sure that I'm not
07:45 putting myself at risk for negative consequences:
07:49 emotional, spiritual, physical consequences. Amen!
07:52 Now I want to go forward with the plan that God, that You
07:54 have given in Your Word, and given to me.
07:56 You want me to be successful and you've empowered me to do so.
07:59 So I'm not going to make decisions that are outside
08:02 of Your will for my life.
08:04 And when you come to that point in your life, and you say
08:07 I want restoration; I want victory.
08:09 At that point you're spiritually pure again, completely pure.
08:14 God restores that purity to you.
08:16 Now He'll restore your body when Jesus comes. Yes!
08:19 But spiritually you are restored.
08:21 You are returned to God.
08:22 You're right back where you should be with Him.
08:24 And that's such a wonderful, wonderful message.
08:26 And to know that, Hey, when Jesus comes we're going to
08:28 put off these bodies, and we're going to have glorified bodies,
08:31 and live with Him for eternity that way.
08:33 You know, it amazes me when we look at what's going on
08:36 in the secular world, and I mean there's such a downward trend,
08:39 and, you know, everything is being advertised with sex;
08:42 even ice cream.
08:44 I mean I saw a commercial the other night and I thought,
08:46 you know, I just happened to be flipping through the channels
08:48 to get the news and there was an ice cream commercial and they're
08:50 using sex.
08:52 So we see it's so prevalent among the secular society.
08:56 It amazes me to think that we're not preaching and teaching this
09:00 already in our churches.
09:02 Do you think that parents just, are we just burying our head
09:07 in the sand?
09:09 Do you think it is a problem among, I know I've met some
09:13 individuals in the church, young people, but do you think that
09:15 this is a problem that all young people face?
09:17 Well, 1 in 3 women, girls, get pregnant before the age of 20.
09:23 And notice I said 1 in 3 girls, I didn't say 1 in 3
09:26 non-Christian girls. Yes.
09:28 And I could come up with statistic after statistic saying
09:32 that this is not just a secular problem, this is also,
09:35 it's just a worldwide problem.
09:37 It's a worldwide problem because sex is a wonderful thing
09:41 that God has given us, for a husband a wife to share,
09:44 but Satan wants to pervert that.
09:46 And he's going to use that God given wonderful feeling
09:51 to tempt us to go away from God's plan.
09:55 And so he's going to work on Christians even harder, maybe,
09:58 than secular people; those that don't know the Lord.
10:01 And so, yes, it is a Christian problem.
10:03 And let me give you an example of why some people have that
10:07 mindset of it's not a Christian problem.
10:09 I think that it's that they're in denial.
10:11 I recently went to a school, a private school,
10:15 a Christian school, and I had been doing my week long talk
10:18 that I normally do.
10:20 It was about Wednesday, so I was about halfway through.
10:22 The principal pulled me aside and, you know, kind of in his
10:25 tone, you know, stuffy tone, a little bit, he said,
10:28 You know, we've found that the issues that you're talking about
10:32 our students don't really face until they're in college.
10:34 And it wasn't three hours later that kids were coming in.
10:39 They gave me an office there in case people wanted
10:41 to speak with me.
10:43 No less than ten kids came into that office and said,
10:47 You know, I've made a mistake in the past,
10:48 or I'm in this relationship and I don't know what to do.
10:51 So kids know that they're faced with these issues,
10:54 but many times adults don't want to admit, or they're in denial
10:58 about young people facing these issues.
11:01 One maybe because they don't know how to address them,
11:03 and two maybe because the adults have made a mistake
11:06 in the past, too, and they don't feel like they're qualified
11:09 to talk to young people about it.
11:12 But our young people are facing these issues and somebody has to
11:16 stand up and set a standard or the world is going to set
11:19 the standard for our Christian young people.
11:21 And so we as parents, we as leaders, we as elders of our
11:24 churches, we have got to start standing up and giving
11:27 young people a standard in which God wants them to live.
11:31 Okay, I want to come back to God's Word in just a moment
11:33 and the standard that God is setting, but I want to
11:37 bring you into this conversation doctor, and in this way.
11:40 You know, there's probably some young people watching us...
11:44 I hope so.
11:46 ...and what they're saying is
11:47 they've heard all of this before.
11:48 Why is it important that they should wait until they get
11:53 married from a, could you address that, just purely from
11:57 a physical sense, what are the consequences?
12:00 What are they risking if they are partaking
12:02 in these illicit activities?
12:05 Talk about putting your head in the sand;
12:07 parents put their heads in the sand.
12:09 They don't know what students are doing.
12:11 By the time they're in high school, 12th grade,
12:15 back in the 1990's it was 80% of our students were having sex.
12:20 Mercy! Now it's 61%.
12:22 Oh yes, it's wonderful...
12:24 Wait a minute, you said that 80% and it's gone down to 61%.
12:27 Okay.
12:28 But 61%!
12:30 We're happy, we're elated that it's only 61%.
12:33 Mercy, that's definitely shocking.
12:34 Now parents look at that and they see 6 kids out of the
12:37 10 kids in our room, 6 are having sex regularly.
12:41 That's shocking!
12:42 And what comes with sex?
12:45 Sexually transmitted diseases, infections, pregnancy,
12:50 life long damage to our psyche, how we feel, our morals,
12:56 our ideas of where marriage is going to go.
12:59 I told my son once, Just imagine somebody
13:03 could be having sex with your wife right now.
13:05 How do you feel about this if this were to happen to you?
13:09 And it was a shocking surprise to him.
13:12 When you said that, what you were saying to your son,
13:16 that he was obviously not married yet.
13:17 But you're saying the woman that you will marry,
13:19 the woman that will become your wife,
13:21 someone could be having sex with her right now.
13:24 Yes, exactly.
13:25 That's a good thing to ask him.
13:27 It was a shock to him and he thought about it and said, Wow,
13:28 that puts a whole new light on this.
13:30 That's a great way to say it.
13:33 If I can jump in here on this... Surely.
13:35 We look at life and we think, well, you know,
13:39 I have goals and dreams.
13:40 I have things that I want to accomplish in this life.
13:42 And some people may not know those goals and those dreams,
13:45 but most people have a picture of what they want their life
13:48 to look like in the future.
13:50 And every decision that we make can have a benefit or a negative
13:54 consequence for us reaching that goal or that dream.
13:57 You know, if I sit in my room and play Nintendo too long
14:00 and I want to get straight A's, you know probably that's going
14:04 to have a negative consequence to me getting straight A's.
14:06 If I want to win a marathon someday, I can't subsist on
14:09 donuts my whole life. Right.
14:11 So every decision that we make can either help us or hurt us
14:15 in reaching our goal and our dream.
14:17 And even relationships; getting ourselves involved in
14:20 relationships has a baring on our future.
14:22 When every time you're in a relationship
14:24 and that relationship ends, you bring baggage into
14:28 the rest of your life.
14:29 That's just the way it is.
14:31 Anytime you get emotionally attached to someone,
14:33 that emotional attachment effects you
14:36 the rest of your life.
14:37 Well, in the severing of that emotional attachment,
14:39 or of the actual relationship, there is an emotional scarring,
14:44 even if you're the one that's doing the breaking up.
14:47 It's really true. That's right.
14:49 So let me ask you this, when you think of what, when we use
14:54 the word abstinence, are we just talking about
14:57 don't go all the way, or are we talking about...
15:02 Let's be a little more specific.
15:04 We will be discreet, I promise you, but let's be a little more
15:08 specific as to what we're actually referring to.
15:11 According to what the Word of God says, because there are some
15:15 times when you bring this up around teens,
15:17 that there's like, they challenge you, show me in the
15:21 Bible where I cannot be partaking in this
15:24 type of activity. Absolutely.
15:26 Let me answer that first by saying many of those young
15:29 people that ask that, they don't actually believe that it's not
15:33 in the Bible.
15:34 They're just trying to come up with a reason to justify
15:36 what they're already doing. Does that make sense?
15:38 Yeah, it does. But we can look at the Word of God.
15:40 If we go to...
15:41 The best text that I like to use is Ephesians, Chapter 5.
15:43 And the reason that I like to use Ephesians, Chapter 5
15:48 is because of the issue that the church in Ephesus was facing
15:52 at this time.
15:53 Just to put it in a nutshell and be quick about it,
15:57 basically they were going to church and trying to find
16:00 someone to take home with them that was not their
16:02 husband nor their wife.
16:04 I mean these were the issues in the early church.
16:06 And so Paul, he's talking to us, and he begins in Verse 1.
16:11 He says, Be ye therefore followers of God,
16:13 as dear children;...
16:14 And he explains how to do that.
16:15 ...And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us,
16:19 and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice
16:21 to God for a sweet-smelling savor.
16:23 So He tells us right there how to love each other.
16:26 Uh huh.
16:27 Through sacrifice and submission to one another.
16:29 And now he's going to tell us how not to love each other.
16:32 Oh, hang on.
16:33 I want to use that thought. Okay.
16:35 Through sacrifice and submission there are some young men
16:38 that will say to a young lady, If you really love me,
16:42 you will do this for me. That's right.
16:44 You will have sex with me. Sure.
16:45 And the woman is thinking, Ah, sacrifice and submission.
16:49 But Paul, we've got to read this in context,
16:51 because he's going to let us know that that's not the kind
16:54 of sacrifice and submission he's talking about.
16:56 First of all, let me tell you the answer that I give
16:58 to young ladies when they say, Well, my boyfriend said
17:00 that to me.
17:02 I usually tell them, I say, If your boyfriend is trying
17:05 to get you to do anything that you don't want to do,
17:07 he doesn't love you. He's being selfish. Amen!
17:09 Okay?
17:11 If you set a standard, and your boyfriend knows that standard,
17:13 and he's trying to pressure you to do something,
17:14 or your girlfriend, because girls can be very forward
17:18 these days.
17:19 If they're trying to pressure you into doing something
17:21 that you don't want to do, they don't love you.
17:22 They're just being selfish.
17:24 And so Verse 3, and right here we go, But fornication,
17:27 and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be
17:30 once named among you, as becometh saints;
17:32 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting,
17:35 which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks.
17:39 That word fornication there, it refers to any sexual activity
17:44 outside of marriage.
17:46 Actually, see my Bible, because I'm looking at an Amplified
17:49 right now says, But immorality, sexual vice, and all impurity
17:55 of lustful, rich, or wasteful living.
17:58 So it is talking about the sexual vices there.
18:01 And I like that word covetousness that he uses
18:04 there, too, because apparently what was happening was
18:07 people in the church of Ephesus in that day were looking around
18:11 and they were coveting each other for sexual issues,
18:15 you know, they're looking at each other and being attracted
18:17 and they're coveting each other.
18:18 I'm smiling because, not because of what we're saying right now,
18:21 but because you did such an excellent job in your book.
18:24 I really like the way that you likened the physical
18:30 covetousness to idolatry.
18:32 I mean I'd never really thought of it like that before.
18:34 And it put it into a whole new light for me.
18:37 Now the other thing I want to do, I'd like to back up,
18:40 and let's go back to where you were talking about goals
18:43 because Dustin, I think this is one thing I want to encourage
18:47 every parent to read this book and to listen to what
18:51 we're about to say right now.
18:53 Talking to your young teenagers about goals in life.
18:57 I never thought about how much a relationship that is usually
19:03 not going to last beyond high school, or maybe college,
19:06 how it robs you of the precious time to reach your goals.
19:10 Where did you come up with this idea?
19:13 Well, from my own personal experience.
19:16 I was a baseball player through high school and college,
19:19 and I, you know, I was good.
19:22 I was a pitcher.
19:23 And I had dreams of playing professional baseball someday.
19:26 But I had one major obstacle to that goal
19:28 and it was a girlfriend.
19:30 Okay.
19:31 And the time that I should have spent putting into the game,
19:35 and practicing, and working on my studies, and all the things
19:38 that I needed to do, I spent with her.
19:42 I spent time with her, I spent money on her,
19:44 I spent energy on her, and in trying to make this thing
19:49 work that wasn't meant to be.
19:50 She's not my wife this day; we broke up.
19:53 And so it's interesting from our experience.
19:56 She went to the college that we ended up at;
19:58 they didn't have her major.
20:00 They didn't have the major that she wanted.
20:03 But because she wanted to be with me, she went to the same
20:06 school as me.
20:07 And so she compromised what she wanted to do in life
20:11 for a relationship that wasn't meant to be in the first place.
20:14 I did that myself!
20:15 I can identify with this.
20:17 The reality is people don't marry their high school
20:20 sweetheart's anymore.
20:21 So for young people, I don't even suggest that you date
20:25 in high school.
20:26 They often ask me, well, when is a relationship good for me?
20:30 And I say, When you are about to reach your goals here
20:35 on earth, and when you are at a place where you know who God
20:39 wants you to be.
20:40 And the illustration that I like to use is, the illustration
20:44 that I like to use is you're driving in a car towards your
20:47 goal towards your dream, and you're gong along at a nice
20:50 rate and you're driving along.
20:52 It feels good!
20:53 And then all of a sudden people start passing you,
20:55 and there's two people in these cars, and you start to think
20:57 well I'm kind of lonely.
20:59 I feel kind of lonely here.
21:00 And you start to look around, and you know you're looking
21:02 around while you're driving, and you think, huh!
21:04 And there's another road way off in the distance,
21:07 and you see somebody driving and you think, Oh he looks,
21:09 he looks kind of interesting.
21:10 He looks kind of interesting.
21:12 Or you look around on the road back and you look in your
21:14 rearview mirror and you see somebody going a lot slower
21:16 than you, but you think, Oh, she looks kind of attractive.
21:19 And what some people do is on their road toward their
21:22 destination, sometimes they veer off and they go to see
21:25 what that persons like, or they'll slow way down
21:28 so somebody else can catch up, or they'll stop and turn around
21:31 so that the person's that's going a lot slower than them
21:34 they can meet that person.
21:35 And relationships, many of them, especially sexual relationships,
21:41 cause speed bumps, or the Great Wall of China for us in reaching
21:45 our goal or our dream later in life.
21:47 Does that make sense?
21:48 It makes perfect sense.
21:50 But it makes perfect sense to me because I'm an adult.
21:51 Now let me ask you a question.
21:53 If I were 16 years old and listening to this program
21:57 right now and you were telling me don't date in high school,
22:00 well I'm thinking, All my friends are dating
22:02 in high school. Sure.
22:03 And you've got, ah, your hormones are beginning to
22:08 sing a song to you, and you're attracted to people
22:11 of the opposite sex. Right.
22:13 How are you going to convince, or you know, there's young
22:17 people so often think they're in love.
22:19 They get the butterflies and they think, Oh, he's so sweet,
22:23 or she's so nice, and she's so pretty.
22:25 What is the difference between infatuation of these young
22:31 people and real love?
22:33 Well, first of all we can't let the world set the standard
22:37 for the way that we live our lives.
22:38 Because if we look at the world we see a whole lot of failure.
22:41 But if we look to God and rely on Him we're victorious.
22:44 If we do things the way that God wants us to do them,
22:48 then we're successful.
22:50 If we do things the way that the world wants us
22:52 to do them, many times we fall.
22:54 And so it's so important.
22:55 You know, we believe a lie in this culture about what
22:58 true love is.
22:59 And you've heard those lyrics, "When the moon hits your eye
23:01 like a big pizza pie; that's amour. " Yeah!
23:04 "I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing
23:06 that you're in love with me. "
23:08 And we believe, because of movies, because of music,
23:11 because of all these things, that love is about butterflies
23:14 in your belly, and sweaty palms, and senseless sexual urges.
23:18 When people are feeling these things they truly believe that
23:20 they're in love, and they have those feelings.
23:22 No two people have ever loved each other like
23:24 we love each other, and no one's ever experienced this;
23:27 what we're experiencing.
23:28 But if we look at the Bible, at I Corinthians, that passage that
23:32 we're so familiar with, "love is patient, love is kind" we see
23:36 something very, very different.
23:37 God defines love in a much different way.
23:39 It's not a feeling.
23:41 It's something that is earned over time through service
23:45 and submission to one another.
23:46 And while you're infatuated, and while you're having these
23:49 wonderful feelings, you can't survey someone and say,
23:53 are they patient? Are they kind?
23:54 How do they treat their mother?
23:56 How do they do these things?
23:57 And if you throw sex into that mix, now you've clouded up
24:00 your decision making all the more. Absolutely.
24:03 You know, I want to take advantage also, doctor, of your
24:06 knowledge in about 90 seconds, if you could tell me.
24:10 Yes, quickly.
24:12 What do you think?
24:13 Why should we wait until we get married?
24:15 I'll tell you; because things change.
24:16 As a young person in our days, we were thinking of one
24:20 boyfriend, one girlfriend.
24:22 Now it's one boyfriend, two girlfriends, three girlfriends,
24:25 four girlfriends, and all of the baggage they bring
24:27 into that relationship.
24:28 I had a patient who had a rash on his hip, just recently.
24:31 He'd been married for twenty years.
24:33 I did an analysis of his leg. I did some blood studies.
24:36 He had herpes.
24:37 And he didn't know for twenty years that he had herpes.
24:40 It came every year.
24:41 Now it's in his life.
24:43 It's in his marriage.
24:44 He got this when he was in high school.
24:47 What do we take from high school into our marriage?
24:51 With these relationships that don't...
24:53 There's friends with benefits. Yes.
24:58 Where, let's have friends, let's have sex, but no relationship.
25:02 That's what kids are into right now; friends with benefits.
25:05 Where does that put them emotionally?
25:08 Why is there a 50% divorce rate in Christian homes even?
25:13 You know, I was talking with a young person recently who was
25:20 talking about the feelings that they had, and I said these are
25:24 natural and they're good.
25:25 They just need to be contained, and they need to be purified,
25:29 and kept under wrap, if you will, for awhile.
25:33 But it's good that you're interested in the opposite sex.
25:35 And if you want to know, I mean, God obviously made sex
25:39 a beautiful thing.
25:41 Just read the Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs
25:42 it's called in some.
25:44 But what is, in your mind, the greatest benefit of waiting,
25:48 and what is the beauty of sex within marriage?
25:51 Well, it's sort of like opening a present.
25:55 Oh, that's nice.
25:57 Ah, you know, have you ever wanted something so bad that you
26:01 see the present.
26:02 You know it's there, and you ask for it ahead of time.
26:04 We've all done that!
26:05 And then when gift giving comes...
26:07 You didn't have permission really, but you peeked.
26:09 That's right!
26:11 When gift day comes, you know, and you've already received
26:13 that present; Christmas, your Birthday, whatever it might be,
26:16 you open that gift and you go, Wow, that's really nice!
26:18 And I appreciate it, but it just doesn't have the same luster.
26:22 Now if we wait for gift day, and we open that gift
26:27 when we're supposed to, and in the right context,
26:30 we have that joy at the point when we're supposed to.
26:34 Does that make sense?
26:35 That makes perfect sense.
26:37 So with sex, you know, if I give myself to someone else
26:42 before I'm married, my body, my mind, all of me.
26:44 I give that over to someone.
26:46 Someone else is opening that gift in my life, or I'm opening
26:51 that gift before gift day comes.
26:54 And so it's so important to know that if we save that special
26:58 present for that special day.
27:00 It's such a wonderful thing to know I'm not going to go into
27:04 my sexual relationship with emotional baggage,
27:06 with physical baggage, with all of these things.
27:08 You are free to enjoy sex in marriage without
27:12 any strings attached.
27:13 And it is truly an enjoyable, it's a gift from God,
27:17 if you will.
27:18 Well, we are so pleased that you joined us today.
27:21 Thank you, Pastor Dustin Hall, and thank you,
27:23 Dr. Robert Castellanos.
27:25 It was a joy having you both here.
27:27 And for those of you at home, please, this is a book called
27:31 The Gospel of Sex, Dating, Relating, and Mating.
27:35 It really is an excellent book.
27:36 And I just want to encourage you to call 3ABN and you can
27:39 find out how to get that book.
27:40 But now what I really want for you is that you would enjoy
27:45 "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of the Father,
27:48 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit" for today and
27:52 throughout the rest of your life.
27:53 Thank you for joining us.


Revised 2014-12-17