Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Schulz
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000228
00:32 Hello I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome
00:34 again to Issues And Answers,
00:36 I'll bet that you are like me.
00:39 You'll find yourself as a time starved person.
00:42 Well, today is a program that you will not want
00:45 to miss, we're gonna be talking about pressures
00:48 and possibilities and how to go from
00:51 the pressure cooker of expectations to the
00:54 possibilities God holds out to us in life.
00:57 And before I introduce our special guest,
01:00 I want to share a scripture with you it comes from
01:02 Psalms 90 and verse 12 and the Psalmist wrote,
01:07 teach us to number our days that we may get
01:12 us a heart of wisdom, amen to that.
01:16 So what I want to do now is introduce to you
01:19 the Vice President of Transforming Lives For Christ
01:22 and she comes to us from Spokane,
01:25 Washington Linda Schultz. Hi Shelley.
01:28 Linda, thank you so much for joining us.
01:30 Now this is not your first time on 3ABN.
01:34 No, this is the second.
01:36 Okay, you were here for the women of spiritual praise.
01:38 Yes. And did you do a Today Program. That's correct.
01:42 I thought you have. Yes. Oh! We're just so glad
01:44 that you are back with us and I know that you
01:46 and Cynthia Prime worked hand in hand together
01:49 and have a beautiful ministry.
01:51 We're really appreciative for that.
01:53 You are here today we're gonna start off
01:56 with a few in this series and you're gonna be talking
01:59 to us and sharing with us
02:01 a little of your personal testimony.
02:04 But let me kind of get you started here,
02:07 first of all I would like to know did you grow up
02:10 in the church and if so when did your relationship
02:15 or your relationship with the Lord go from being just
02:19 religion into a real intimate personal relationship.
02:24 That's an interesting question because it was
02:27 quite a transition and probably
02:30 occurred over a period of time.
02:32 To begin with my mother was a Christian
02:35 and my father was not and I praised the Lord,
02:37 both of them are today. Amen. But so, I grew up
02:42 in a divided home as far as Christianity
02:45 for a period of time, however I went
02:48 to our schools for the most part and.
02:51 And when you say our school. Our Christians schools
02:54 excuse me and then but I also participated and was
02:57 went to public school for some of my education.
03:02 Then I went on to our Christian high school
03:06 which was wonderful and.
03:08 Now was this the Adventist Church that you were,
03:10 schools that you were going to? Yes. Okay.
03:11 Yes, and I really enjoy that period of time because
03:15 it allowed me a lot of time of fellowship
03:17 with other Christians. So that was very, very special
03:20 and then as I went on to college,
03:24 I did part of my college at our Christian college
03:26 and then in part at a community college
03:29 and finished my degree.
03:30 And then went on and married my husband,
03:33 who is a pastor and so I went into pastoring.
03:37 And I love people so that was a wonderful
03:41 transformation and I've always loved the Lord.
03:43 But I really believe that my personal relationship
03:46 with Christ took place when he took me
03:50 through this journey of understanding
03:52 what he holds out to me in my life.
03:54 And what he wants for me and not necessarily
03:57 all the things I put in it. Amen,
04:00 now let me back up just a moment,
04:02 I believe you are a nurse, right? That's correct.
04:05 So you're you got your degree in nursing
04:07 and now you're working, you're married to a pastor,
04:10 you became a mother of two beautiful children. Yes.
04:14 And you have all of these elements in your life,
04:20 all of these factors that are pulling on you for time.
04:23 As well as being a pastor's wife I am sure
04:27 that we can all imagine I think being a pastor,
04:30 it is a very difficult job being a pastor's wife
04:32 can be even more difficult in that
04:35 you're being pulled in many directions,
04:37 you hear many things that you cannot repeat
04:39 and there's only one person that you can
04:41 take these things to and share it. That's right.
04:43 It's either your husband or the Lord,
04:44 so what did you find here you've got this background
04:50 but you don't really have that intimate
04:53 personal relationship with the Lord yet.
04:55 Set this up for us, what was going on in your life
04:59 with all of these many demands?
05:01 What's real interesting, I seem to know I had
05:04 a sense of what I should be doing and I thought
05:06 that was God's will, what the problem
05:09 was as I wasn't taking that to him.
05:12 I didn't have that personal relationship
05:13 I would get my time with him became hit
05:17 and miss so to speak, some days
05:19 I can have it many days I wouldn't.
05:21 But I was very faithful about my time
05:23 with the children and their relationship with Jesus.
05:26 I was very faithful about the committees
05:28 and doing what I needed to do within the church
05:30 and of course what's interesting is
05:32 I was busy about much good. Yes.
05:36 So it wasn't that I was doing bad things
05:40 and that's what to me I understood
05:42 I was doing and working for the Lord.
05:45 Because look at all these good things. Amen.
05:47 So I became you know I was on the school board,
05:51 I was the pastor's wife, I had the two children
05:56 that were young, I had also decided
05:59 to go back to school to get, complete
06:01 a degree in healthcare administration.
06:03 And all and then I was working part time
06:07 and all of these multitude of things came into play.
06:10 Well as long as everything was functioning alright
06:13 I didn't realize my great need.
06:16 But when trials came then it started to fall
06:21 apart because I didn't have the strength.
06:23 I didn't have the power, see it wasn't about me,
06:27 it was about God and consequently
06:30 what happened was these people who I loved,
06:33 I now started to resent, because I felt
06:37 it was expectations from them that made
06:40 it impossible for me to meet.
06:42 I couldn't meet their expectations. Okay.
06:45 So things started falling apart
06:46 and they started to unravel and the people
06:49 that I loved I started to resent.
06:51 I couldn't see past my hurt to my heart anymore. Yes.
06:56 I became angry and then depression set in.
06:59 And that's a real normal course of thing
07:02 and it happened not suddenly but over a course
07:04 of several years actually for that to occur.
07:07 And I became very, very dissatisfied
07:10 and very, very unhappy and the depression
07:12 became deeper and I was able to cope at work
07:15 but when I come home I wasn't able to make decisions.
07:17 I came to the place that I could put a smile
07:20 on my face and I could go to church
07:21 and when I came home I was exhausted,
07:22 it was all I could do. Are you saying you were just
07:26 so fragmented that it got to that point
07:30 where you know sometimes we can handle
07:32 a multitude of things it seems that
07:35 we can kind of keep all of these balls in the air
07:38 for a certain amount of time and then one day
07:40 you wake up and feel that your life you recognize.
07:44 You're so fragmented that and you have
07:46 so many responsibilities.
07:48 It was the sense that I don't know what to do first
07:51 and that's why you couldn't make a decision,
07:52 there's all of these demands.
07:54 You know you have put your time into the hands
07:57 of others, they're controlling your time.
07:59 That's correct. So that's how you were feeling.
08:02 That's exactly right and then when I started
08:04 to not be able to meet all the expectations
08:07 and I realized I was coming back.
08:09 Because my source of strength
08:12 wasn't with my Savior, it was within.
08:15 Then the resentment started building
08:18 because I thought how dare they,
08:20 do they have any idea how much I am doing?
08:22 Do can't they see that my plate is more than full,
08:26 can't they tell that I am you know some
08:29 of the complaints that would come back you know
08:30 that I am doing actually what they're saying I am not.
08:33 And I was looking see that's a thing my eyes
08:36 were no longer on Christ, my eyes were on the people
08:38 and that's the problem. I needed to be looking
08:42 upward, that's where my focus
08:44 needed to be and it wasn't there.
08:45 So I started to go down and under.
08:48 You know Linda I believe that there is probably
08:50 a lot of people who are watching right now that can
08:53 identify with what you had going on in your life.
08:57 Let me ask you do you feel that did you have
09:00 a difficult time saying no? What set this up?
09:03 You had obviously you were brought up in a Christian
09:08 religion and you had this knowledge of God
09:10 at sometime you had that time you were spending
09:13 with the Lord, kept accepting more and more
09:15 responsibilities but you're just unable to say no
09:18 and that started grabbing your time from the Lord
09:20 or how did this get setup that way.
09:22 Isn't that interesting, obviously I became
09:25 a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser. Okay.
09:28 I ended up and then when I found that I couldn't
09:31 do that when people would ask me to do certain things
09:34 I was very accepting of them because I thought
09:37 oh yes that would be fun I would enjoy
09:39 doing that again I would be involved with people.
09:41 I forgot to take it to my Savior
09:43 to see what he wanted. Yes.
09:44 Lord, is this what you want me to include
09:46 in my life instead I was putting it into my life.
09:50 And the more I put in the heavier the burden
09:54 became and then it just mounted and that bag
09:57 that I was carrying on my back, that burden
10:00 became so heavy I could no longer carry it.
10:03 And that's when I started to become very angry,
10:06 very discouraged and that's when I realized
10:09 I can't meet their expectations but instead
10:13 of it had nothing to do with those people whatsoever.
10:17 It had everything to do with the fact
10:19 that I didn't have my priority straight.
10:20 And Christ was getting squeezed out of the picture.
10:24 You know once the Lord gave me this I believe,
10:28 he said that if you want to keep a finger
10:30 on your spiritual pulse, then what you need to do
10:34 is check how much time you're spending
10:36 in the Bible and in prayer. That's correct.
10:39 If you're not in the word and you're not in prayer,
10:41 you're gonna start being spiritually weak.
10:44 And what's you were doing is what I mean
10:47 we can all identify with this in particularly
10:49 anyone who is in ministry.
10:50 You were doing the good and sacrificing the best.
10:54 That's right. Okay, so. That's right.
10:56 What happened I mean when this started you found
10:59 yourself starting to become resentful,
11:03 angry and then getting into depression.
11:06 What, did your husband recognize this right away?
11:09 Actually he could tell something was happening
11:12 but he didn't know what it was, until one day
11:16 when I walked into his office and I said, I said
11:19 I love the Lord but I said I can't handle this anymore,
11:25 so you need to make a choice.
11:27 It's either me or the church you can't have them both.
11:29 Oh! I couldn't handle it any further.
11:32 It was too much and bless his heart he said to me,
11:37 he said Linda he says if I get you a good Christian
11:41 counselor he said would you be willing to go?
11:43 And I said that would be fine, I don't really care.
11:48 I was to the point where nothing mattered anymore.
11:51 And you know, there is. How old were your children.
11:55 My children were in elementary school
11:56 at that time and I kept this very, very private.
11:59 There were two or three close friends that I had
12:03 because I need a prayer partner
12:06 and I needed support through this.
12:07 And to this day I listen them up I am so grateful
12:11 to the Lord for them but the other person
12:13 that will have a star I believe in his crown for me,
12:16 from me is the counselor that I was sent to.
12:19 There is such a benefit to a good Christian
12:23 counselor when we needed. Yes.
12:24 And he helped remove the busyness in my life.
12:27 Helped me focus on my Lord again. Amen.
12:32 And then helped me regain who I as a person was
12:35 and I am today, so he changed all of that
12:39 but it was very difficult road I had to give
12:42 up everything and I had to start from scratch because
12:45 see all of those things I had they were there
12:48 for all the wrong reasons and that's not
12:51 what God has us to do. He wants it to be
12:54 for the right reason and when He puts it in place
12:56 and He gives the submission then when He commands
13:00 He enables. Exactly. So provides us our strengths,
13:03 he gives us what we need for the day;
13:05 he gives us wisdom, discernment certainly
13:09 not but I had at that point.
13:10 But he puts all of those things in place if I stay
13:14 connected and it takes me back to Hebrews
13:17 where he says you know that Jesus
13:19 is the author and the finisher of our faith. Amen.
13:22 We need to be looking unto Jesus. Amen.
13:24 And we need to be doing that every single day. Amen.
13:27 And we have to remember 2nd Corinthians 12:9
13:30 that His grace is sufficient,
13:32 His power is made perfect in our weakness.
13:35 So, if we're trying to live our lives in our own
13:39 limited human power we're in pitiful condition.
13:42 Exactly. If we're not drawing on the power
13:45 of his spirit and walking in his power
13:48 then where we are in a difficult situation,
13:51 that's right. So what was it for you I mean
13:54 when you first you've recognize the problem
13:57 some what I mean you didn't identify the problem
14:01 correctly you were just saying
14:02 it's the church I will need that.
14:04 You cannot be a pastor anymore but you know
14:06 you've got a problem, you go to this Christian
14:09 counselor what how many sessions did you take with him
14:14 before you realized, hey I've let everyone else
14:18 control my life except the Lord,
14:21 what was the turning point for you?
14:23 Was there a catalyst?
14:25 I think one of the most wonderful things was for me,
14:29 he was able to allow me to spell out you know
14:33 I think in terms of medicine, you know medical.
14:35 When you have an infection and sometimes
14:38 that infection is underneath the surface,
14:40 sometimes it has to be excised and it has to be
14:44 released before it can be cleansed,
14:46 all of that garbage had to be gotten out.
14:49 So it provided an opportunity to get it out
14:52 in a safe environment where it was going no where
14:55 else except to the Lord and then he removed it.
14:59 It kind of got put on that scape goat and taken out.
15:02 Yes. I didn't have to deal with that anymore
15:05 and then the healing process could be started
15:07 and it was after I was able to get it out probably
15:11 after several sessions and to remove
15:13 what was in my heart the anger, the resentment,
15:16 then I could see clear enough and the Lord provided me
15:20 I believe that insight to start seeing
15:22 what took me there and why it was there.
15:25 And then it didn't have to do with the people,
15:28 it had to do with the fact that I had relinquished
15:31 control over my life to somebody else.
15:32 And that is a dangerous territory. Yes it is.
15:35 Dangerous territory ther is only one person
15:38 you can do that to and that is Jesus. Amen.
15:40 That is it. So did this counselor,
15:44 now when we talk about Christian counseling
15:47 typically these are counselors who will use
15:51 the Bible as their guide and they're going
15:54 to be giving you scriptural counsel
15:55 and pointing you back to the Lord.
15:57 What tools did he use to help you come along in this?
16:03 I think part of it was that he removed again
16:06 he removed from me the busyness of life,
16:09 had me start reconnecting with Jesus.
16:11 But explain what you say; when you say
16:13 he removed from you the busyness of life
16:15 explain what you're saying to me?
16:17 I actually had to resign from offices. Okay.
16:21 I stopped my entertaining because we used
16:23 to have lots of people in and in fact it was not
16:27 uncommon that we had people actually
16:28 staying at our house. All right.
16:29 That needed to be there we had to start all that,
16:32 my home became what I would say a sanctuary
16:34 it was a place where it was a haven I could come,
16:37 I can spend time with the Lord,
16:39 I had my family there but as far as the busyness
16:41 of entertaining and having people over,
16:44 we removed that for just a time until we can heal,
16:47 okay, and the offices had to stop,
16:51 I had to back up, I had to reconnect.
16:54 And then when we started to put things back
16:58 in the place we did it very carefully,
17:01 prayerfully and making sure
17:04 it's what God wanted in place.
17:05 And not just what man wanted in place.
17:08 Okay so the counselor now has he's prescribed
17:11 first you have to remove the busyness,
17:14 resign from many of these positions;
17:17 you're over burdened, over scheduled and make
17:21 your home a place that is sanctuary of safe haven
17:25 rather than this all this busyness
17:27 that entertaining for the time.
17:29 What was the next thing that he prescribed for you?
17:32 Well we went through that took a quite a process
17:35 because we not only had to do with that
17:38 but we had to deal with other things in my life
17:40 such as the guilt of saying no that was extremely
17:45 difficult and he prepared me for that he said
17:47 you have to learn to say no and he said
17:49 when you're saying no he said you're gonna
17:51 feel guilty and then this is what
17:53 I want you to know is it down the road.
17:55 Pretty soon you're gonna be feeling guilty
17:57 that you no longer feel guilty.
17:58 It was quite a cycle but what was interesting
18:01 was I did cycle through all of that because you see
18:05 guilt means that you're doing something wrong.
18:07 The guilt we carry over saying no is actually
18:11 a false guilt but unless it's Jesus asking us
18:16 to do something and we choose not.
18:18 Well I think somebody out here,
18:20 you will need to repeat that again because
18:22 I think particularly with women I know
18:25 I have a difficult time saying no especially you know
18:29 people will say you're the only one that can do this.
18:31 That's right you know its your talent your guilt
18:34 or something you're the only one,
18:35 we know you can do this and then to say no
18:38 you feel like you are really not only not meeting
18:43 their expectations but that you are letting them
18:45 down in such a major way that there is a boy
18:48 that will not be filled, may be that's his false
18:50 sense of pride there, but you're saying that the guilt,
18:54 repeat what you just said, that's a false guilt.
18:57 That's a false guilt. Guilt means you've done
18:59 something wrong, if you are turning down
19:02 something the Lord is asking you to do.
19:04 That is guilt but if you are turning down something
19:07 that man has only asked you to do that is a false
19:11 guilt and we need to separate that out
19:14 and we need to be very aware and assured of what,
19:18 why we're doing what we're doing,
19:20 and whether it's what God's calling us to do?
19:22 Or just what man is calling us to.
19:24 So when someone asks you something today
19:26 and sometimes God does speak through other people
19:29 or he may direct someone toward us.
19:31 Absolutely. How do you handle that to know
19:34 whether you're gonna say yes or no?
19:35 One of the things I've learned in fact
19:37 it's something that I have definitely been using
19:42 a lot lately is that when I have been asked
19:45 I say let me pray about it and I'll get back with you.
19:48 Okay. It gives me time, a lot of times
19:51 we also are very spontaneous and impulsive
19:54 and we will make decisions out of that.
19:57 That's scary, when we have time to put it before
20:02 the Lord, spend time to think it through,
20:04 spend time to look at the schedule
20:08 we have before us and listen to his voice
20:10 because you know John 10:27 says
20:14 my sheep listen to my voice,
20:15 I know them and they follow me. Amen.
20:18 So when we take the time to connect with him,
20:22 we will hear his voice and we will know
20:24 if it's of God and if it's where we need to be
20:27 and if it's not we don't want to be there
20:29 because then we're doing it in our strength
20:31 and not His. So when I want to that was such
20:36 a great statement there and I want to back up
20:39 just a moment though because we've read yourself
20:41 at the busyness, you're learning to say no
20:44 so that you don't refill that schedule
20:46 but really what happened to you is you had given
20:52 and given and given till the world went dry.
20:55 That's correct. I mean you were empty,
20:57 what did you do, what did your Christian counselor
21:01 have you do, what steps did you take to reconnect
21:05 with Christ and to be filled again?
21:08 Rest. Rest. Rest. Rest both physically and spiritually
21:16 and there is nothing more beautiful
21:18 then when you spend time resting in Jesus.
21:21 And how do you do that for somebody
21:23 that might be watching that says
21:25 I don't know what is she talking about?
21:27 You know it's real interesting it came in many forms,
21:30 I remember many long walks and just communicating
21:34 with the Lord as I would walk because sometimes
21:38 we find ourselves thinking that we have to spend
21:40 an hour in the word or we have to spend
21:42 this much time praying or whatever it is but you know
21:45 when we are told to pray without ceasing,
21:47 I think that means that we are in a relationship
21:50 of communication with Jesus. Amen.
21:51 Whatever that is and so we're able to spend time
21:54 in the word, we are able to spend time in good
21:57 Christian literature, we are able to spend time
22:00 going on a walk and getting refreshed,
22:02 we are able to get rest for our bodies
22:04 so that we can think properly because a lot of times
22:07 with all of this comes very little rest time.
22:11 And you know I don't know the statistics on it
22:14 but I heard recently that when we get a depleted
22:17 amount of rest and we're not getting
22:21 the number of hours we sleep need.
22:22 It's the equivalent of having so many
22:25 alcoholic drinks. Yes and that's scary. Yes.
22:28 Because then we can't make good intelligent decision,
22:33 we also I believe are not gonna be into what
22:37 Christ is trying to tell us and teach us. Amen.
22:40 So we have to get a physical rest and if our
22:44 schedule is so full that we're living on
22:46 4 to 5 hours a day I have to sometimes question
22:49 is that what God's calling us to. Amen.
22:51 And we need to be on our knees before Him
22:53 I am not saying that there are times that we're
22:56 pushed beyond because he has a mission,
22:58 he has something he needs to accomplish
23:00 but I think He provides us energy for that.
23:02 I don't think He expects us to live on it. Amen, amen.
23:06 So that's the physical rest,
23:08 what's the spiritual rest that you're talking about?
23:11 The spiritual rest was that communion with Him,
23:14 interestingly enough I found that it came in
23:18 bits and pieces because I was so.
23:20 Dry. Dry I was so dry but it's kind of like taking
23:26 a emaciated person and giving him a huge meal
23:28 and expecting them to eat it all. Yeah.
23:30 You can't do it. So it was piece by piece,
23:33 small amounts of time by small amounts of time
23:36 and I found it divided through the day,
23:38 those talks that I would have through the day
23:41 as I was cleaning the house as I was talking to Jesus.
23:44 As I was out on my walk so I was talking to Jesus,
23:46 as I was sitting down with my children
23:48 and the word wasn't just, I wasn't sitting down
23:51 with them to just feed them anymore.
23:53 I was sitting down and feeding me
23:54 out of those stories. It took on a new dimension
23:58 for me. So is this that point in your life
24:02 it sounds like to me anyway that you've learned
24:05 how to surrender to God, to surrender control
24:08 of your life to the Lord and then he begin
24:12 to lift you up. That's right, that's right.
24:15 And when He does then you come forth
24:18 with renewed strength. Yes.
24:20 And renewed energy and actually He is the one
24:24 that provides the ability to say no and to start
24:28 feeling comfortable with knowing you have
24:30 limitations, you have boundaries.
24:32 You have balances that needs
24:33 to be present in your life.
24:35 And what do you mean by balance?
24:37 Balance is a really difficult word.
24:40 Yes, well I hope you'll come back
24:43 and talk to us about that. I was going to say,
24:44 I do we have a session we'll do on
24:47 balance and boundaries. Wonderful.
24:49 But it is a matter of trying to find those parameters
24:53 that we work within that are Christ given.
24:56 Linda, I'm just so glad that you're here to share
24:59 this today but let me ask you one more question.
25:01 As the Lord is leading you and I believe
25:06 he led through your husband and put the.
25:08 Praise the Lord that you had a Christian counselor
25:10 to go through, praise the Lord that you had
25:12 a husband who is wise up to send you there. Yes.
25:15 Because now your husband is still in ministry,
25:18 you're still a pastor's wife so worked all of a
25:21 sudden and you are now ministering from a full up.
25:25 You've learned how to draw on the Lord.
25:28 Were there are any other resources that you used
25:31 other than the Bible, was there anything
25:33 that particularly spoke to you to help you
25:36 really recognize your problem?
25:40 As far as where I had gotten
25:45 at that point of time I think it was.
25:49 Books that were helpful or anything like that?
25:50 No, because I had pretty much, I didn't had time.
25:53 Okay. I was just so empty but I do wanna share
25:56 a text if I can, because it was one that I had
25:59 never seen before, Galatians 1:10,
26:02 "for do I now persuade men or God
26:05 or do I seek to please men, for if I yet please men
26:09 I should not be the servant of Christ." Amen.
26:13 Boy was that an eye opener. Amen.
26:16 And it was a refresher to me to let me know
26:19 Linda don't go there its all about me just stay
26:23 with me because if you are wearing
26:27 a yolk that is too heavy.
26:29 I've got to ask you who asked you to carry it?
26:32 Because Christ says mine is light.
26:35 And we're all yoked in service it's just
26:39 if we're not yoked to Jesus, whatever else
26:42 we're yoked to is a yolk of bondage isn't it? Right.
26:45 And so that is where the Lord has let you
26:49 out of that bondage, who's cut you free
26:51 from the cord of the wicked that was binding you
26:53 and now you have a very full life
26:57 but one that's controlled by his direction.
27:01 Praise the Lord. Amen.
27:03 Linda, thank you so much for being here
27:05 and I am glad that you're gonna be coming back
27:07 because you know God has what he has taught you
27:10 and the comfort he has bought you,
27:12 now he is sending you out to comfort others
27:15 with the same comfort that he has given you. Amen.
27:17 Oh! It's wonderful, you know I hope for you
27:20 at home that you've learned something
27:21 from this and I hope that you're going to pray
27:24 Psalm 90 verse 12 that if you wanna learn
27:27 how to go from the pressure cooker of expectation
27:30 of the world into the possibilities of how God
27:34 can lead you and what he can do for you.
27:36 Pray and teach us to number our days
27:39 that we may get us a heart of wisdom.
27:42 Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
27:45 the love of the Father and the fellowship of the
27:48 Holy Spirit be with you today and everyday.
27:52 Please join us again next time.