Participants: Paul & Carolyn Rayne (Host), Hannah & Caleb Rayne
Series Code: HTH
Program Code: HTH00018A
00:01 Parenting is not easy.
00:03 We really do need a power outside of ourselves.
00:07 If we gonna raise our children for God.
00:09 Today's Happy the Home program is entitled Soul Power.
00:13 Join us as we discuss the source of parent power.
00:43 Welcome to Happy the Home. My name is Paul Rayne.
00:47 I'm with my lovely wife again today Carolyn.
00:49 And we are looking forward to sharing soul power
00:54 with you in this program.
00:56 You know in program number six,
00:59 we go in the back along ways now.
01:02 But you might me recall if you've been watching
01:04 these each program is, well the first section
01:07 one was building on the other.
01:09 Now we are further, we are on the more standalone.
01:12 But in program number six, we had our children just making
01:16 chaos here in the living room.
01:20 Caleb was running around, his ball hit the tower
01:23 and his sister was making noise on her iPod
01:25 and then the parents walked into that situation,
01:28 if you remember.
01:29 And we role played a good approach and a bad approach.
01:34 And in the bad approach I lost.
01:37 They started banging their hand around
01:40 and in the second approach we did it different.
01:44 Now we were only role playing that.
01:47 That was not for real butI know that you as parents
01:52 have come into situations that have been very real.
01:55 They've taken you off-guard and you've thought,
01:58 what are the kids up to now?
02:00 I can't believe they are doing this.
02:03 And you know mothers, Carolyn in particularly
02:07 I want to pay a tribute to you guys again,
02:10 to those who look after the children at home
02:14 because it is easier to be the CEO of the thousand
02:18 employee businesses and it is to be a mom at home looking
02:24 after the children because they try your patience
02:27 to the up most.
02:28 But mothers keep up the good work
02:30 because you are doing more than creating profits.
02:36 You are doing more than painting a picture on canvas.
02:39 You are weaving into a life, a character that can bless
02:44 people for years to come.
02:45 Even after you're dead and gone, those children,
02:48 if trained right will live to bless other people.
02:52 So thank you moms, stick with it.
02:55 We want to encourage you to keep plotting on
02:57 with your children.
02:58 You know one situation Carolyn that you and I came into was
03:03 Hannah and Caleb fighting,
03:06 and I'm not taking about with their words.
03:10 I'm talking about you know like this
03:12 fighting of over a license plate.
03:14 Do you remember that situation?
03:16 Oh! Yeah, very well. Tell us a little bit about it.
03:18 Well, you taught Caleb how to change the license plate
03:21 and he come out to the vehicle and was doing
03:23 on the back license plate on the vehicle.
03:25 And Hannah decided she was gonna help him
03:28 but she wasn't helping him right.
03:30 And so anyway there was a fight and it ended up
03:34 being quite a scratch on Hannah's face.
03:36 And this was the day before, this was Friday.
03:39 Sabbath you're going to church and so in the morning time
03:42 I asked Hannah, I said so if somebody at church
03:46 asks you how you go that, what are you gonna say?
03:51 And she said, well I'll tell them how I got it.
03:53 I said well good.
03:55 Now I didn't think that would happen,
03:56 but you know I mean the local church people
03:58 they know that we go and giving seminars.
04:00 This was not so long ago, maybe four years ago,
04:03 four or five years ago.
04:04 So we're already on the road as a family giving seminars.
04:07 So here are our angelic children,
04:09 as she goes to church and what would she know.
04:11 Somebody came to her said, oh Hannah!
04:13 How did you get the scratch on your face?
04:15 And she says something like well I was fighting
04:18 with my brother over the license plate
04:20 and he did something to me and I did something to him
04:22 and I have to say, I don't recall them fighting
04:25 quite like that ever since do you?
04:29 They have, But not in that same way.
04:32 There was physical damage left on the other person.
04:35 You know, when we come into a situation like that.
04:40 It takes everything we've got as parents not to.....
04:44 You know a fit.
04:46 Yeah, to join in the violence, you know and to,
04:49 it's like they should know better.
04:52 And it's taking me back to when we role played,
04:55 me coming on the set there.
04:56 But Carolyn, how are we as parents,
05:00 how are we ever gonna be out to deal with that
05:05 kind of situation.
05:06 I mean it's not humanly possible to stay cool in that situation.
05:12 I know how some parents they just say,
05:13 hey well, that's just parenting.
05:16 That's just what happens. Hey kids come over here.
05:19 You know they give them whooping or something.
05:21 And then you know, but if you want to be a parent
05:24 just really try and fix things at a hard level.
05:27 It's hard not to get frustrated by that kind of wild behavior
05:31 in our children so.
05:32 What do we need?
05:33 Well how can we, how can we be prepared
05:36 to meet those kind of situations?
05:38 Well what we need at that point is soul power.
05:41 And that's what we're gonna talk today,
05:43 about how we connect in prayer and Bible study
05:46 and with the Holy Spirit, so that we have
05:48 the power to meet the situations that come
05:50 in our ways as parents.
05:52 So, what kind of prayers would you pray as a mom
05:55 that would prepare you for a day with the children?
06:00 Well, one of the most important things
06:03 I feel for me that I pray about is,
06:05 you know when we understand what are weak areas are,
06:07 if you don't know what they are you can ask your family.
06:12 They might tell you but generally the Lord tells
06:14 you in a way but easy to hear.
06:17 Doesn't crush your will so much and so I'll be asking
06:19 the Lord you know what are my weak areas
06:21 and when you know what those weak areas are,
06:22 then I pray oh God please help me today that
06:25 I won't lose my temper, that I'll be patient.
06:27 I won't be irritable and frustrated.
06:29 I specifically pray for those areas that
06:32 the Lord will give me power be an over comer in those areas.
06:36 So are you praying this like, once a week or once a month
06:42 or what are we're talking about?
06:44 No, no, no once a day, everyday. Right.
06:48 So it's a regular ongoing thing. Oh, yeah.
06:50 God helped me to be a good parent.
06:52 And it's not, please help me not to lose my temper
06:56 and the next day please help me not to lose my temper.
06:58 And then the day goes on.
06:59 You lose your temper and you forget about it and who cares.
07:02 It's not that. It's not just some ritual.
07:04 It's seeking God to really help us to have the victory.
07:08 Okay. And you know where do we pray?
07:11 I mean we're getting down to some basics here
07:14 but you know, for me, Carolyn and I were just talking.
07:17 Carolyn and I were talking about this last night.
07:20 For me by God's grace prayer has become the most
07:24 enjoyable part of my special time I have with God.
07:28 I like to kneel either up in my bed or by my bed
07:32 or when I'm at home, I'm down in my office.
07:34 So I'm kneeling there and I'm pouring my heart out to God.
07:37 I'm saying God I have got the job of raising
07:40 these children and I haven't got it.
07:42 They beg me.
07:45 And I'm fed up of dealing with some of this stuff.
07:47 I'm pouring all these out to God.
07:49 And then I'm asking Him, God please give me mercy.
07:52 Give me compassion. I was a little boy once.
07:55 I was gonna say, I was a little girl once.
07:57 But you know you can pray that, moms.
07:59 We've got to be out to sympathize with the trials
08:03 that our children go through.
08:05 You know, they've got many distractions
08:07 and we've gonna be out of be there and at the right time,
08:11 we've got to be ought to give them
08:12 the right advice and the right input.
08:13 And it's only gonna come as the result of asking God.
08:17 There are many things that God wants to do for us.
08:20 But if we don't ask Him specifically asking,
08:24 Lord, make me a compassionate parent today.
08:28 Then I can guarantee to you, as you go through the day,
08:31 you will have the opportunity to be a compassionate parent.
08:34 So, take the time and pray. This isn't a two minute prayer.
08:38 This is serious parenting.
08:41 This is, God give me something I haven't got.
08:44 That's the only way.
08:46 If we just gonna pray a flippant prayer,
08:48 if there is such a thing, but oh God
08:50 you know help me with the children.
08:52 You know, we got to, we really got to focus in
08:55 on that and God will give us strength and power.
08:58 Anything else you want to add to prayer, Carolyn?
09:00 No, nothing. Okay, all right, let's move
09:03 on... oh, one thing I do want to add about prayer is Carolyn
09:05 and I pray together that will be good parents.
09:09 And we're not opposed to,
09:12 this isn't necessarily in this section,
09:14 but we're not opposed that when we go to bed
09:16 Carolyn will say something. Hey! Paul.
09:19 I appreciate you being a dad to the children
09:21 but you kind of got really intense with Caleb there today
09:24 and I don't think it did him any good.
09:26 Now I like it.
09:27 I mean I don't like it in the moment
09:29 but I like it that my wife is committed enough
09:32 to our children that she will point that out to me.
09:36 And I can pray about that and of course
09:38 the immediate human reaction is, no I wasn't.
09:40 No I was just right. It was with him.
09:42 But you know as we pray about that it's like okay,
09:46 I can go to Caleb in the morning and say hey Caleb,
09:49 daddy got a bit intense yesterday.
09:51 Will you forgive me?
09:52 And you know that clears the air.
09:54 Otherwise it's, we're asking them to be good
09:56 and they look at us and say well daddy isn't being good.
09:59 So it's nice to clear the air that way.
10:01 If you need to make it right with your children,
10:03 make it right.
10:04 Let's move on to Bible study.
10:08 This is another way that parents prepare at the
10:13 beginning of the day to be good parents to their children.
10:17 You know, many people have Bibles on the shelf,
10:23 gathering dust.
10:24 But if you've ever done a study on what God's people
10:28 went through to keep the Bible for us.
10:32 Going through the reformation times
10:34 and people being burned at the state
10:36 because they wanted the Bible and the Bible only
10:39 to be the foundation of the church and the church
10:42 was one in the fling it over to some of the traditions.
10:46 When we realized what God's people of all
10:48 would have been through, we will prize the opportunity
10:51 to open up those pages and say,
10:53 God I need something out of your word this morning
10:57 to help me be a good parent.
11:00 Tell us a little bit about your Bible study time.
11:02 We're calling it Bible study time.
11:03 But just the time that you spending the word,
11:06 how do you study the word, Carolyn?
11:08 Well, the first thing I do is pray because we can't
11:11 understand the word of God's spiritual thing,
11:13 the spiritually discerned.
11:14 And so I ask the Lord to help me understand the Bible.
11:17 Not just till I understand the verse but they'll mean
11:20 something to me today.
11:21 I can go away with something tangible,
11:24 just something little maybe that I can take in my day.
11:26 So you know studying the Bible verse by verse method,
11:29 maybe picking a topic.
11:31 You know, you can get as Concordance says
11:33 and they have all the different things and topics.
11:35 And so you can pick a Bible topic and so for longtime
11:38 I studied the subject of patience in the Bible.
11:41 Looked to the different people in the Bible
11:43 and how they exhibited patience.
11:44 Looked at the life of Jesus and how He was patient
11:47 and how God is patient with us.
11:48 And then, you know another ways to read the Bible
11:51 through cover through cover and I've done that too.
11:53 And there is many different things the Biblegateway.com
11:55 I think it's called, where you can go on there
11:58 and there is different ways of reading
11:59 the Bible through in a year and I did
12:01 the chronological Bible in a year study.
12:04 It was a good thing to do.
12:05 I wouldn't do every year because there are other things
12:08 I like to look into but it was a really good experience
12:10 to going through the whole Bible in one year.
12:12 I know you spend a lot of time going over
12:15 some of those things that specifically pertain to mothers.
12:19 Proverbs 31 and things like that you've really spent
12:23 a lot of time in that area to try
12:25 and equip you to be a good mom or a good wife.
12:28 And, and looking at moms in the Bible,
12:31 you know I think about Hannah and how she was.
12:34 She didn't have long to be a mom in the Bible.
12:36 But there were places that I'll go and Rebecca
12:39 and you know, Mary the mother of Jesus,
12:42 different mothers.
12:43 And what can I glean from those mothers
12:46 that will be practical for me today.
12:48 So that's something as moms that you can do.
12:50 In the Connected Family book, I forget is one of the apendix
12:55 near the end and we've given there
12:58 a whole list of Bible passages that you can go to that will,
13:03 that will grab your interest,
13:05 probably the most interesting parts of the Bible.
13:07 You can just go through those one a day and it would
13:10 really open up your devotional life.
13:13 It's right there at the end of, The Connected Family,
13:15 which is the companion book that goes along
13:18 with these 3abn programs.
13:20 You know, I just want to give you a little example of
13:23 one of my favorite Bible verse is Psalm 32 and verse 8.
13:27 It says, I will instruct you and teach you
13:30 in the way you should go.
13:32 I will guide you with mine eye.
13:34 And how I like to study,
13:36 as you can read that and you can say, oh yeah, yeah.
13:38 That's neat. Well please me oh guide me Lord.
13:41 Or you can go through it like this.
13:42 I will. I will.
13:46 Okay, that's a promise which says God,
13:47 I will instruct you.
13:50 Okay God.
13:51 So you are promising here in this verse
13:54 that you will instruct me.
13:56 Well, what you're gonna instruct me in.
13:58 I'm gonna instruct you and I'm gonna teach you
14:01 Paul in the way you should go. And that's the way today.
14:05 I'm gonna show you,
14:07 when you are getting intense with the children.
14:09 I'm gonna be calling to you saying,
14:11 Paul you getting intense with the children.
14:13 Okay and I can back off.
14:15 I will instruct you and I will teach you in the way
14:18 you should go.
14:20 Praise God.
14:21 This is us to make this verse come alive.
14:23 I will guide you with my eye.
14:26 I don't know how God does that,
14:28 but I have experienced it over and over again
14:31 that God guides us and I say something to you,
14:34 I say something to the children or
14:35 I'm in conversation with somebody and I think,
14:38 wow it's pretty neat.
14:39 And then I realize, I will guide you with my eye
14:42 that came from the Lord.
14:43 That was the answer to my prayer this morning.
14:45 So, you know, please spend sometime in God's word.
14:50 What's one of your favorite verses,
14:52 Carolyn and how is it helped you?
14:54 Well, my all time favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3,
14:57 verses 5 and 6.
14:59 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,
15:01 and lean not unto thine own understanding.
15:03 In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.
15:07 And you know when I was a young girl in nursing school
15:10 there was a pretty challenging thing.
15:11 I'd left home and moved away several miles,
15:13 several hours away from my home.
15:16 And in my pocket was the little tiny card
15:19 it had that Bible verse on it and I can't tell you
15:21 how many times I used that.
15:23 You know when I was 25
15:25 I was raised in a country village there in England.
15:28 Never really traveled much and at 25,
15:30 I find myself heading out to Zambia,
15:32 Africa to be, to be the midwife of a maternity wing.
15:37 It was a very small bush hospital.
15:39 And I'd never flown before.
15:41 And so here I'm going to the airport in London,
15:44 taking off out into bush of Africa,
15:47 and you know, that we could spend the rest
15:48 the program telling you some of the amazing stories
15:51 of things that happened by going there.
15:54 But you know, I was really cling unto that
15:57 Bible verses and in all thy ways acknowledged Him
16:00 and He should direct thy paths.
16:01 I was going out into deepest darkest Africa,
16:04 alone, didn't know anybody.
16:06 But the Lord was right there and those Bible verse,
16:08 that Bible verse I just cling unto.
16:10 You know in a way the Bible as well as being something
16:14 that guides us through our day.
16:15 It's like a GPS in a way.
16:18 It's guiding us to our eternal home.
16:21 And it's not just guiding one people.
16:23 It will guide a whole family to the sea of glass.
16:26 But we got to be in it. We got to be listening to it.
16:28 We got to be following it.
16:30 And I know that there is plenty of programming on
16:33 this network that's pointing to you towards the scriptures.
16:36 But friends there are no substitute to getting
16:39 in the Word yourself and that really is.
16:42 This program is entitled "Soul Power."
16:44 It's where we as parents getting the power to be
16:48 determined to raise our children
16:50 the way that they should be raised.
16:52 You know, the Bible gives us certainty.
16:55 And it gives us a purpose and a direction and stability.
16:58 All of those things that we can find by having
17:01 that daily study in the word of God.
17:03 Now I know there are some viewers at home
17:06 and they're saying, we're right with you.
17:08 We know.
17:09 We're supposed to pray and we're supposed to be
17:11 in the word and you probably gonna talk about
17:14 the Holy Spirit next and that's right, we are.
17:16 But you're asking yourself,
17:17 how do I ever fit that into my busy day?
17:21 There is only one way and there's only time that
17:25 I found that consistently works
17:27 and that is very first thing in the morning.
17:31 But sweetheart, you know for me that I'm not a morning person.
17:36 It's true.
17:37 The morning is like the time to lay there and sleep.
17:41 It's not the time to be up.
17:43 But I know you're a morning person.
17:45 I sometimes roll over in bed and I think, she's gone.
17:49 It's the middle of the night.
17:51 And then I look at my watch and it's like yeah
17:53 five o'clock a.m. And she's gone.
17:56 Now I don't get up necessarily that early
17:58 or not far off of that now, but you know it took me years.
18:02 I hope I got your attention here.
18:04 It took me years to figure out
18:06 how to get up early in the morning.
18:08 And it's so profoundly simple. I can't believe I missed it.
18:12 If you want to be up early in the morning...
18:15 Guess what?
18:16 You got to go to bed early in the evening.
18:19 Oh! No, no.
18:20 Don't take the evenings off of me.
18:23 The evenings need to be dedicated to family.
18:25 Then we need to have worship and then the children need to go
18:28 to bed and shortly after the parents needs to go to bed.
18:32 But what about your social life?
18:34 I'm asking you how far is your social life taken
18:37 you in the life that you want to live?
18:40 You know, if we can go to bed early then
18:43 we can getup early.
18:44 Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy,
18:49 wealthy and wise.
18:50 It's somebody once said that,
18:54 Abraham Lincoln I think it was.
18:55 But you know if we are an hour, just imagine you are an hour
19:01 late getting to work.
19:03 Maybe men to get to his work at eight o'clock,
19:05 you roll up at nine o'clock, like nothing is wrong
19:08 and everybody kind of looks at you.
19:09 So doctor's appointment or you know trouble with a car.
19:14 No just an hour late what's the big deal.
19:18 But an hour late going to bed,
19:21 who cares about an hour late going to bed.
19:23 But friends an hour in the evening is so easily wasted.
19:27 I want to call to you to get to bed earlier
19:30 then you can getup earlier.
19:32 Then you have time to pray.
19:34 Then you have time to be in God's word and then your life
19:37 is entirely different, all from going to bed earlier.
19:40 I know it's elementary and I know these people
19:43 watching this program who know this already,
19:46 but you know we've said over and over again.
19:48 This is not a program you watch. This is a program you do.
19:54 So, Carolyn tells us a little bit about
19:56 how this morning time thing works for a busy mom?
20:01 Morning time for a busy mom, quiet time devotions,
20:03 whatever you want to call it, it's crucial for a busy mom.
20:07 You know I deal with a lot of phone calls,
20:09 lot of mothers calling for counseling appointments
20:11 and pretty much every time they phone in distress
20:14 and stress and anxious.
20:16 Nine times out of ten what they are missing
20:18 at on is their morning devotions.
20:20 That's the place you get the power to be the mother
20:23 you want to be, not the mother you don't want to be.
20:25 And that's the place you get the connection with God,
20:28 so that you can run the day with God rather than
20:30 the day running you.
20:31 How often we sit down at the end of the day and go,
20:33 ha what I actually achieved,
20:35 because we didn't spend that time with the Lord.
20:37 So join my devotion time.
20:39 I'm not just reading my Bible and praying.
20:41 I'm figuring out the day ahead.
20:43 Figuring out who's gonna be doing what.
20:44 What it needs to happen, and asking the Lord,
20:46 is this what I need to be doing with my day today.
20:48 There is a very practical thing that
20:51 I like to do first thing in the morning.
20:52 You know it reminds me.
20:54 You just talking about the mom you don't want to be
20:56 versus a mom you do want to be.
20:58 The children of Israel were wandering
21:00 around in the wilderness.
21:01 They were just going round and round in circles,
21:02 if you remember in the Old Testament.
21:04 They weren't getting where they wanted to go.
21:07 And God gave them a food,
21:10 a physical food that they were to eat.
21:11 It was manna.
21:13 And if you remember the story of the manna there,
21:15 back in the book of Exodus, they had to getup early
21:18 and gather the manna, if they waited till you know
21:21 noon when the sun was up.
21:22 It was gone. It evaporated away.
21:25 And it's like that with our time with God
21:27 if we don't catch it in the morning,
21:29 because we're sleeping in or because we're too busy
21:32 and we've to run off to work.
21:33 You know it evaporates.
21:35 We need that time in the morning.
21:37 The manna of the Old Testament is a figure of the word of God.
21:41 The manna was sustaining their bodies and God's word
21:45 will sustain us spiritually.
21:47 So, you know we need to be up early.
21:50 And moms, as Carolyn was saying,
21:52 it's not just about being in the word and praying.
21:54 Just figure out the day and that would leads us
21:56 really nicely into the last part of Soul Power,
22:00 that we wanted to talk about which is the need for us
22:04 to be heading the voice of the Holy Spirit.
22:08 And what do I mean by that.
22:10 Well let me pull up a couple of scriptures.
22:12 I've got one here.
22:15 First, Kings 19:12 where it says,
22:19 I haven't necessarily got that verse here,
22:21 but I've got the reference because there it tells us
22:23 that the Holy Spirit's voice is not a,
22:29 Paul Rayne you need to be patient with the children,
22:34 it doesn't boom out like that. It's a still small voice.
22:39 And if we want to ignore it we can ignore it.
22:42 Not safely, but you know God speaks so quietly.
22:46 It's a still small voice.
22:48 It talks about that God wasn't in the fire
22:50 and He wasn't in the earthquake.
22:51 He was in the still small voice and it links,
22:55 this is a package deal.
22:56 Soul Power, that's pray, that's timing God's word
23:01 and heeding the Holy Spirit.
23:02 It's a package deal.
23:03 We need all aspects of that service.
23:06 We've being praying for God to be with us during the day.
23:08 Then as we get into the business of the day
23:11 and we hear God's voice,
23:13 and actually I do have another text.
23:15 It's Isaiah.
23:16 I know some of the American say Isaiah,
23:19 but I'm from Europe.
23:21 And we always say Isaiah.
23:22 Isaiah chapter 30:21 says, And thine ears shall hear
23:29 a word behind thee, saying this is the way,
23:33 walk ye in it.
23:34 Your ear will hear a word behind you,
23:39 saying this is the way.
23:41 That is the voice of the Holy Spirit
23:43 or the voice of angels, but it's somehow that
23:47 God is answering our prayers of the morning
23:50 and He is guiding us.
23:52 He's talking to us.
23:54 And oh, how many times I heard that voice.
23:59 And I'm so used to do in my own thing that I just go
24:03 straight on past it and I think
24:05 yeah that was the Holy Spirit talking to me.
24:07 Or maybe I don't even that far, I just think,
24:11 yeah I should quit doing this now and go do something else.
24:14 I have the thought.
24:15 So, when the Holy Spirit talks to us,
24:17 it's not some booming voice.
24:19 It's just a thought.
24:20 Yeah, it's not even audible.
24:23 So, for example, your busy mom and your children are off
24:26 doing something and all of a sudden you notice
24:29 the absence of noise.
24:31 You ever had that?
24:32 It's silence, and you got to a three to five year old
24:35 and their silent.
24:36 You know moms that's silence usually means something
24:39 is not okay, something is wrong.
24:41 So, you go to investigate what it is because
24:43 you are being prompted by the Holy Spirit.
24:45 You better go check this out.
24:47 When you get that, you just get to the bathroom
24:49 to your three year old on the stool,
24:51 got the cabinet open, go to pot of pills
24:54 and he is about to put it in his mouth.
24:55 That's the Holy Spirit right there calling to you
24:59 to go check out the problem, but often we just tune it out
25:02 and then we find ourselves in the dilemmas that
25:04 we do but the Holy Spirit was prompting us.
25:08 Now, is a time for us to take a break
25:10 and join us when we back just in a moment.