Participants: Paul & Carolyn Rayne (Host), Hannah & Caleb Rayne
Series Code: HTH
Program Code: HTH00014B
00:02 So how did your one-on-one time with Hannah go?
00:04 Oh! It was great. We talked about a number of things
00:07 and we got to looking at that part of the Gospel
00:09 where the Pharisees wanted to get rid of Jesus
00:12 because they were, didn't like his popularity.
00:15 They were jealous of his popularity,
00:16 we talked a little about jealousy and then.
00:19 We read about how they wanted to silence His voice
00:22 and the only way to do that was to get Him kill basically.
00:25 Right. And so we talked, I just asked her,
00:27 you know, that did you ever, have you ever not listened
00:29 to Jesus voice and try to silence it
00:31 by ignoring it. Did you, did you feel like you got down
00:35 to a heart level with her? I mean, for her age
00:38 Yeah, definitely. Right, yeah.
00:39 Caleb and I had a nice talk as well.
00:41 He wasn't feeling very good. Oh, oh. So, you know,
00:43 he was a little bit knocked off but,
00:46 he has really grasped the idea of eternity,
00:49 he struggled with that for a while.
00:50 But I think he's got it. And you know,
00:55 I'm so glad that God has given us
00:58 that burden to spend some one-on time,
01:01 one-on-one time with our children.
01:02 To open up, just in simple language
01:06 the Gospel to them. I think it probably,
01:08 even though they go to, you know, the Sabbath school
01:11 and church and stuff and they get instruction there.
01:13 I think that probably sinks in deeper to their heart
01:16 than you know, a lot of that. Would you say that
01:20 with your time with Hannah.
01:22 Definitely. you know, it's the one-on-one time,
01:27 as we, as we said in our earlier program.
01:30 That one-on-one time, it sets an atmosphere
01:34 where we can go deeper with our children.
01:37 If I try to explain that stuff to a group of people,
01:40 of which my child was just one, it's, I don't know
01:44 there something about the peer pressure
01:46 of the children, it kind of washes over them.
01:48 But when it's one-on-one, it's like all your attention
01:51 is directed at them. And I think it gets down
01:53 to our heart level. That's, that's one of the reasons
01:56 that we've continued to do that with our children.
01:58 And of course we do that in family worship often times.
02:03 The Gospel is beautiful I wish, I was more able to,
02:08 to explain it to them. Oh I know, you feel like
02:12 you just got to rely upon the Holy Spirit
02:15 to make what you say, it makes sense.
02:19 Yeah. You know, viewers, in what we were reading
02:23 from and in actual factors, we were having
02:24 that one-on-one time with our children.
02:27 Again, I know you've just seen the ad.
02:30 But the... we were reading from The Connected Family
02:34 and we were in chapter 14 there. And obviously this is program
02:38 number 14, the two go together. You know, if you want to get
02:44 into some little bit deeper one-on-one time
02:47 with your children. We encourage you to,
02:49 to read to get this book or something that you can use
02:53 to read with your child that will open up conversation.
02:57 I know when you and I, probably 10 years or so ago,
03:02 we read a book called The Desire of Ages together.
03:05 And it was really one-on-one time
03:07 just a two of us with our children were just little.
03:10 And it seemed like we could only read a paragraph
03:14 and then you and I were talking about all kinds of stuff.
03:17 And I am really hoping that can happen
03:20 with our children. Of course, we can't necessarily give them
03:23 the same amount of time that we gave to,
03:26 you know, when it was you and I having
03:28 that time together because this is a marriage
03:30 and there's some people who have quite a lot of children.
03:32 So, but, what about some other, we've talked about
03:38 one-on-one time gathered around the Gospel.
03:41 Remember when Hannah and I went off
03:43 to that youth camp out, you and Caleb had stayed at home
03:46 and had some, we'll comeback to the youth camp out
03:48 in a minute, but tell us about the time
03:50 that you and Caleb had at home. Well, I wanted to explain that,
03:53 I think it would help the viewers to understand
03:56 that in fact there was this camp out planed.
03:58 It was this last summer and initially we were,
04:02 all of us gonna go, if you remember.
04:04 And then I ran into these health challenges
04:07 as I said early, in another program.
04:09 And so we were trying to decide who was gonna get to go?
04:12 We had initially wanted to have one-on-one time
04:14 with the other child. You know me with Caleb, Paul with Hannah.
04:18 But we have had necessary figure it was gonna be this weekend.
04:21 And then it was decided I definitely wasn't going on
04:23 this trip. And Hannah, it seemed like
04:28 it was more appropriate for Hannah to go.
04:30 She's closer to being in there...
04:31 You had to go. And Caleb was, he said you know,
04:34 it wouldn't be right for all of us to go,
04:35 and leave mummy at home on her own.
04:37 I mean, she is sick and so, she might not do okay.
04:41 So, anyway he decided, it was decided
04:44 that he was gonna stay back with me.
04:46 Yeah, and he had a really good spirit about it.
04:49 I really appreciated that about Caleb.
04:51 You know, you went for a little while and he and I.
04:54 we had a great time, it was nothing high flying
04:57 and amazing, because I couldn't do
04:59 any of that right then. It was pretty low key.
05:01 We were just at home, but we did everything together.
05:04 So, we were in the kitchen together,
05:06 we cooked together. We worked hard
05:08 in the yard together. We read stories together,
05:10 we played instruments together. And then it was over a weekend.
05:14 So on Sabbath he had got a new book called
05:18 oh! The story behind the tree. I can't remember.
05:21 It's something about trees anyway this new book
05:23 he's gotten. And say we read some of his new book together.
05:26 And there are all kinds of creative practical activities
05:29 in nature that you could do with this book.
05:31 And so he and I went out into nature,
05:33 and we did some of the things that said,
05:35 we gather all the different, different kinds of tree
05:39 or different leaves and different twigs and stuff.
05:41 And then you're meant to look at these different ones
05:43 and I can. He's still, he was the one who picked up on this.
05:47 We had an old dead piece of a tree,
05:49 we had a live piece and the live one
05:51 was kind of springy and flexible.
05:53 And the dead one just snapped off and he said,
05:55 yeah that's like some people.
05:57 Some people aren't very flexible,
05:59 they're just kind of snappy. I thought that was really great.
06:03 So, that was just part of our one-on-one time
06:05 and then he left all those bits of things
06:08 that we found in the yard at certain place.
06:10 So that when daddy and Hannah get home,
06:12 they could take a look and see what
06:14 it was that we've done together.
06:16 It again, it seems, I know I talked to our viewers,
06:19 it seems that just imagine Carolyn and Caleb
06:22 there at home for a weekend on their own.
06:25 With the mindset that they're gonna enjoy this.
06:28 They're not gonna go to their separate corners.
06:30 It seems like the atmosphere is just set,
06:34 that you're gonna have an intimate time together.
06:36 Isn't it, you can't help it? So, we want to encourage
06:39 you to create that kind of opportunity.
06:42 Now, I talk a little bit about my time with Hannah,
06:45 the youth group from church, Hannah's,
06:47 you know, she was 13 then. But she is, she is getting
06:50 close to joining that youth group. But, at the moment
06:52 I am the, the youth class teacher.
06:54 So, I was involved in leading outs on that.
06:57 But some of Hannah's friends are in that class.
06:59 So, she came along and we went in a little bit early
07:02 and Hannah and I did some
07:03 biking out in the, the wilderness. And we,
07:08 you know we biked together and it's,
07:10 some of it was up hill, so we would stop and talk
07:12 and she likes to take pictures and I had my camera.
07:15 And again, we just had an enjoyable time together.
07:19 It seems that if you get just two people together,
07:23 the atmosphere is set. I know we've said this
07:27 over and over again, but we really want you to,
07:29 to arrange your day somehow,
07:32 so that you can have some one-on-one time.
07:34 Now, the reason that we have this program,
07:37 one-on-one part two, is to give you an opportunity
07:42 now to spend some one-on-one time with a child
07:45 that you didn't spend one-on-one time with,
07:48 back in program number 7. So, if you had some
07:51 one-on-one time with child A, now is your time to have
07:55 some one-on-one time with child B,
07:58 and if you got C, D, E, and F then, you know,
08:01 you're probably gonna have to go over this a few times.
08:03 It's important as well, you don't mind me interrupting?
08:06 No go, go head, go head.
08:07 It's important that moms spend time with their sons.
08:11 And fathers spend time with their daughters.
08:13 Because it naturally, you know when we're going shopping,
08:16 when we go to town, typically what ends up
08:19 happening is the boys go to boys places,
08:21 they need to do and the girls go to the girl places
08:23 they need to do, and that's kind of natural enough.
08:26 You know. Paul and Caleb head off to Home Depot,
08:28 whilst Hannah and I go to the cloth store.
08:31 But it's good also to trade off and to have some time.
08:35 Otherwise, boys, they need nurturing
08:37 by their mothers just like they do their fathers.
08:40 And girls need to have that connection with their fathers.
08:43 And so that's something I would like to encourage.
08:46 Make sure that it isn't always
08:47 mom and the girls and dad and the boys.
08:52 God gave us, He gave us two children they,
08:55 they think a lot like us. But I like the fact that
08:58 we can spend that one-on-one time together,
09:01 'cause I feel now taking it off of the good that it does.
09:04 But, I just feel that it really draws me,
09:07 I get to know Hannah better, when it's just her
09:11 and I versus when it's the whole family
09:13 moving around the house. So, you probably feel
09:14 that way with Caleb. And, you know,
09:17 for the ages that our children are,
09:20 I'm thankful that they can open up and come to us.
09:22 And I think a lot of that is due to the fact
09:25 that we do spend this one-on-one time.
09:27 And I want to encourage you, as viewers,
09:31 if you've got younger children at this point,
09:35 pick up this challenge. Because as the children
09:38 get into those teen years and maybe your son
09:42 or your daughter starts having affections for somebody
09:46 of the opposite sex, isn't it gonna be nice
09:48 so they can come and talk to you.
09:50 That they can, the lines of communications
09:53 can already be open. That you're already
09:56 a friend and you're not trying to,
10:01 you're not trying to make the relationship happen,
10:04 just because you want to try and fix things.
10:06 You've already got a good relationship there.
10:08 So this is the time when the children are younger
10:11 or if you're watching this, now it's the time
10:13 because they're never gonna be any younger.
10:15 So, one-on-one time and if you can,
10:19 we encourage you to, to try in that one-on-one time
10:23 to make it a little bit more spiritual.
10:25 Start asking them some questions.
10:28 So, you know what does eternity mean to you?
10:30 What does Jesus mean to you?
10:32 And try and draw them out on a spiritual realm as well.
10:36 Now this program, program number 14
10:40 it's the first one in section number 2
10:45 of the Happy the Home series. Section number one,
10:48 the first thirteen programs is all about drawing them to us.
10:51 The next, this program and the next one
10:54 and the two after that are all about,
10:56 trying to take our children connect closer to God.
10:59 Now, in the next program I want to explain to you
11:01 a little bit more about the next program,
11:04 but not a little bit more because
11:05 we haven't told you anything already.
11:06 But to tell you a little bit about the next program.
11:09 The next program is entitled "An Invitation"
11:12 and in the next program we're going to talk you
11:16 through how to invite your child or children,
11:22 if you have more than one that are ready.
11:24 How to invite them to make a deeper commitment to God
11:28 maybe they've made a commitment to God already,
11:30 but we are talking about a deeper commitment,
11:32 for some of you it might be a first time commitment.
11:35 And we're also gonna tell you, what happened in our family
11:40 as we called our children to this and some of the,
11:43 some of the very positive things that came out of it.
11:47 But going back to the now today's challenge for you is
11:52 to spend one-on-one time with another one of your children.
11:56 What's another one of the challenges, Carolyn?
11:59 The other challenge that we have for the viewers today
12:01 is to explain that simple Gospel story to your children.
12:05 Now, you know, they have heard it before many times,
12:07 they could probably recite to you word for word.
12:10 But how about on a really personal heart level,
12:14 trying to bring home to them as an individual person,
12:17 them and God and how that relates to them personally.
12:21 The other thing I wanted to bring out.
12:24 Just as we close off is that, it seems that
12:28 in many Christian circles. I gotta try and explain this.
12:34 The children, they realize that you know,
12:39 if they're good, mommy and daddy like that.
12:43 And it they're bad, mommy and daddy
12:45 can get upset sometimes. And we can inadvertently
12:49 transmit that kind of picture, on over the top of GOD.
12:56 In other words, so when the children
12:59 do things that are right. God is happy with them.
13:02 And God accepts them and God loves them.
13:05 And when they do things that are wrong.,
13:07 that God is frowning out them. And you know,
13:10 like the parents frowned at them
13:12 when they do things wrong. But, you know,
13:14 what I've been trying to get over to
13:16 Hannah and Caleb, over the years.
13:18 I think we're closed, but it just goes against
13:21 everything that is in culture. And that is that,
13:26 God loves us and loves our children
13:30 even when we go do things wrong.
13:31 Even when we do things deliberately wrong.
13:34 Even when we rebel. God still has a love for us
13:38 that is not based on performance or acceptance.
13:42 And what I've been trying to explain to my children
13:45 for many years now is that,
13:47 we do things that are pleasing to God.
13:51 Because of what God has done for us.
13:55 It's not that we do things to make God happy with us.
13:58 And if we do this and we do that
14:01 and we do the other things, then God will love us.
14:04 God loves us anyway and what we do as a response
14:07 to God's love and that's where dwelling
14:10 on the scriptures is so important.
14:12 When they fall in love with God.
14:15 Which is a bi-product of them,
14:17 falling in love with us as their parents.
14:20 They will then be motivated to please him.
14:22 And I know we're getting there with the children.
14:25 You know they understand that when they,
14:28 when they've let us down. Our love for them doesn't change
14:32 and I really want our children to get that picture of God.
14:35 And I hope you do as well. You know our next program is...
14:39 I've already told you that. But it's an invitation,
14:42 and there we're gonna go step by step through
14:46 how to draw your children out to that invitation.
14:48 So, I want you to join us on Happy The Home.
14:52 The next one is number 15, it will be on again in a week.
14:56 And if you get a chance before now
14:58 and then to order The Connected Family,
15:00 that will get you up to speed as well.
15:02 But, join us next time on Happy The Home.