Participants: Paul & Carolyn Rayne (Host), Hannah & Caleb Rayne
Series Code: HTH
Program Code: HTH00007A
00:01 Have you ever spend any quality one-on-one time
00:03 with your children? Today feel free just to chatter
00:06 to you about anything and everything.
00:08 Join us today on Happy The Home as we explore
00:11 the value of one-on-one time with our children.
00:37 Welcome to happy the home, we're thankful
00:41 again that you've invited us into your
00:44 living room or wherever you're watching this
00:47 I am Paul Rayne this is my dear wife Carolyn Rayne.
00:51 And if you've tuned into previous programs
00:54 you would have seen our two children
00:56 Hannah and Caleb, they will be back but
00:58 they are not in this program.
01:01 We're part of a ministry called
01:02 Restoration International based up there in the
01:05 the Northwest corner of Montana.
01:07 And it's been our joy for the last 20 plus years
01:11 I think for Restoration International to be
01:13 ministering to families and marriages and
01:17 that's why we're here today.
01:18 We wanna share with you today's program
01:20 which is entitled The One-On-One Time,
01:24 the value of One-On-One Time.
01:27 Also along with the programs Carolyn and I
01:31 have written a companion book its entitled
01:34 The Connected Family. And we are on program
01:38 number seven today which corresponds with
01:41 chapter number 7, in the book.
01:44 This is more than a workbook but you can
01:47 read a little bit, kind of a synopsis of the
01:49 program and then at the end there are some
01:52 questions for you to answer and
01:54 some genuine opportunities.
01:56 So we encourage you if you're following along
01:58 or if you think that these programs can be
02:00 help to your family you got to get the book
02:03 to help you follow along and to get the
02:05 most out of it. So one-on-one time Carolyn,
02:10 talk to us a little bit about that.
02:12 One-On-One Time is a more intimate time then
02:15 if you are in any group, in a crowd with a
02:17 bunch of other people. You know One-On-One time
02:20 tends to be much more personal and I would say,
02:24 wouldn't you, don't you think that it's become
02:26 kind of dying art. People don't tend to have
02:29 so much of that intimate one-on-one time anymore.
02:31 In fact, I would say they have more
02:33 one-on-one time with their devices,
02:35 their PCs and their Ipods and all those kind of
02:38 things then they do each other. Yeah, what it was
02:41 called the personnel computer. Right so get
02:44 out of my way because this is my thing.
02:45 And only one person can derive the mouse
02:47 and if it's touch screen any one person can
02:49 really do that so that is where the one-on-one
02:52 focus is going. But you know marriage is still
02:56 very much one-on-one. Yeah now when it comes
02:59 to you and your spouse or if you're in courtship
03:02 or whatever you wanted one-on-one time,
03:05 then you do want a crowd of people around right?
03:08 Yeah, and this is a table for two it's still the
03:10 best kind of table you know. So but how about
03:14 the idea of one-on-one time with our children,
03:18 isn't that a new concept. I don't know viewers
03:22 if you have ever thought about the value of
03:25 one-on-one time with one of your children,
03:29 just may be daddy spending some time with
03:32 his son or mommy with her daughter, because as
03:37 Carolyn already said one on, if you are in a
03:39 group say you're just around somebody's place
03:42 and there's half a dozen people, there are ten
03:44 people there and you have no real agenda
03:48 other than just to have a nice time together.
03:50 The atmosphere is just without just by default
03:53 is very generic, it's not very deep,
03:57 it's often just kind of funny and giggly
04:00 and that kind of thing. But you get one-on-one
04:03 and it just changes the dynamics see here
04:06 you can still have that you know fun time,
04:08 but soon or later the conversation is gonna go
04:11 a little bit deeper. So I think there's some real
04:15 value to one-on-one time with our children
04:18 and so for Carolyn and I, we have taken some
04:22 opportunities to do that with our children.
04:24 And we wanna share some of our experiences,
04:29 for us we live up in the far northwest corner of
04:33 Montana by Glacier Park and come the winter
04:35 time skiing is one of those things that our
04:38 children really enjoy doing, I got them into
04:42 it I have to confess. But so we Thrifty Thursday
04:46 as it's called, we hit the slopes because it's a
04:48 little bit cheaper and we, we don't have a lot of
04:52 quality one-on-one time on the way down
04:55 I must admit, as we're going down the slopes
04:58 it's more oh watch out. Well, there used to be
05:01 that they were you know you were behind them,
05:04 just kind of making sure they were okay but you
05:06 can go striking past but it's not that way
05:07 any more is it? Well. Just be honest.
05:11 I am just about ahead of them that they say but
05:14 I feel the inevitability it's gonna come my way
05:17 and then. Hannah particularly likes speed.
05:19 Yeah anything to do with speed is Hannah
05:21 but you know it's not so much on the way down
05:23 because you're in your own kind of world that
05:26 I'm having one-on time with the Lord at that
05:28 point, oh Lord, help me get down here,
05:30 especially down some of those mobile fields
05:32 and things. But on the way back up that at least
05:35 the ski mountain we go to, we prefer the chair
05:37 lifter only sits two on the way back up just
05:40 a little bit quicker so I will take one child
05:43 and will sit on the lift there for the next
05:45 you know 5. I think it's about 7 and half minutes
05:49 still or bit longer than that, maybe 10 minutes
05:51 to get to the top. And then we always naturally
05:55 we spend the first part of lift that I was talking
05:57 about oh it was good, what we gonna do
05:59 the next time, but then after that I have had
06:01 many great opportunities just to say to Caleb,
06:04 I said, hey Caleb, so you are really into the
06:08 Wright Brothers at the moment.
06:09 I mean we're reading that book in family time
06:12 and you're really enjoying it, what's so fascinating?
06:14 And he starts to chatter backwards and
06:17 forwards in parrots. The secret on one-on-one time
06:20 is if while the secret to starting one-on-one time
06:24 is we've got to talk about something or ask
06:27 questions that are related to something they are
06:30 interested in, you know if we're gonna start
06:33 asking them questions and I have done this
06:35 so I know, hey Caleb how is it going in school?
06:38 Yeah, good. What's your favorite subject?
06:42 I think I got one, okay, but I ask him about
06:45 the Wright Brothers and its like oh, oh
06:47 he comes alive. But then we've been out
06:49 move on, once he's on a roll and because,
06:54 you're gonna say something here or am I
06:55 ahead of ourselves? You're doing good.
06:57 Okay, if you engage the children on something
07:01 they're interested in they will get on a roll
07:03 and then you can get on to some of those other
07:05 subjects that perhaps they're a little deep or
07:08 little bit more difficult for them to talk about,
07:11 so that's our experience skiing of course on
07:13 the next run we all go down together.
07:16 Carolyn generally she skies with us sometimes
07:19 but it gets a little bit wild for her so well
07:23 she is snowshoeing, but on the next ride of course
07:28 I'll say hey Hannah you ride with me and then
07:30 I can share the chatter with Hannah.
07:32 You've had some special times with Hannah there,
07:34 haven't you? Yeah, I was gonna talk about that
07:35 in a minute but before I do just to encourage
07:38 you again the purpose of this One-On-One Time
07:41 is to able to really connect deeply with
07:43 the hearts of your children. And you know
07:46 this whole first section is about connecting
07:48 our children's heart. And so that's really,
07:51 this is just another step in that direction,
07:53 you know we talked in previous programs
07:56 about what's going on in their world.
07:59 Now this is another opportunity to enter
08:01 into their world to find out what's going on
08:03 so just to try and give you the purpose of it.
08:06 Now if you've never had One-on-One Time
08:08 before and the chances are you haven't with
08:11 you know not with any specific purpose,
08:14 it's gonna take a little bit of getting used to,
08:16 so don't expect the first time you do this that
08:19 you're gonna get this really deep and meaning
08:21 conversation going with one of your children,
08:23 chances are that's not gonna happen right off.
08:25 You're gonna have to built up to that.
08:27 And so maybe this is more of a one-on-one
08:30 fun time that you're gonna have. Do something
08:32 that you enjoy and as Paul said it doesn't have
08:37 to be something of a great expense or a great
08:39 length of time, you're just beginning to build
08:41 those connection points with your children.
08:43 So for example Hannah takes piano lessons
08:47 and I usually am the one that drives there
08:49 to her piano lessons. And you know as you
08:51 drive your children about their different venues,
08:53 their different places, you know you can be
08:56 sitting there driving, concentrating,
08:57 thinking of all the other things you got to
08:59 do in the day and they can be sitting next to
09:01 you with the buds in their ears on their iPod
09:04 and the conversation is totally dead.
09:07 Now I've done that, we've been there,
09:09 but it doesn't have to be that way.
09:11 But that's how it will be unless we plan
09:13 something different, so I've really tried as
09:17 I've taken Hannah for her piano lessons to
09:19 just start up conversation.
09:21 And I'll be really honest sometimes it takes
09:23 quiet a bit of effort on my part to get that
09:26 conversation going, I ask her how you doing?
09:29 Oh yeah I'm doing good, how's school?
09:30 Yeah, it's great. And that's the you know,
09:32 we're getting no further than two word sentences.
09:35 And so you parents, you may feel like listen
09:39 I just wanna be in my own world and keep my
09:40 own things anyways. I encourage you to
09:43 persevere and to dig deeper. And I have found
09:47 you know there is a particular connection
09:48 a mother and daughter needs to have as your
09:50 daughter goes in those teen years.
09:53 And I have found that as we've traveled to
09:55 piano, we've been able to talk quite extensively
09:59 about the things that mothers and daughters
10:01 need to be talking about very freely and openly.
10:04 And then at home we're in a different circumstance
10:06 because of that, Hannah will come to me
10:08 and say mommy, mommy I need to talk to you.
10:11 Praise the Lord, but it doesn't just
10:13 happen without our effort.
10:15 And also I know that one time when you
10:18 have to take, well let's explain to the viewers we,
10:21 we live out in the boonies of Montana, it's,
10:25 what is it, an hour and 10 minutes for us
10:27 to get to a room out there or a big area
10:31 where you can shop. So when we go to town
10:34 it's an all day adventure and you have to get
10:37 Hannah some shoes or something, oh yeah,
10:40 I say you, just you and her were going to
10:42 town again. And that was a little bit more than
10:44 going to piano wasn't it? Explain that a little bit
10:46 about that, does that turn out really good?
10:48 Yeah, it was you know what I tried to do
10:49 with the children is that it's not that often
10:50 that I just end up with one child with me
10:52 go into town, but if I do then I can just
10:55 you know be running around, wishing that I
10:58 could do this on my own. I'm just being honest
11:00 or I can try and make the most of this.
11:03 And so the Lords when He call to my heart
11:04 on this and so what I usually say to the
11:06 children which ever child I have is you get to
11:09 pick where we eat today. You know that's really
11:11 fun for a child, now it's just you and them.
11:14 And this is a great bonding time so.
11:15 It's kind of like a date. It is, it is and Hannah
11:17 and I you know we're doing our things and
11:19 we're going to the restaurant.
11:20 And she picked out where she wanted to go
11:24 and as we were, as I was paying for the meal
11:25 there with the lady at the desk.
11:27 She noticed that it was just Hannah and I,
11:30 and she said Ah! You're on a date with
11:32 your daughter. And then her eyes filled with
11:34 tears and she said you know, make the most of it,
11:38 I never had a daughter and I always longed for one.
11:41 And that really touched my heart,
11:43 it was like you know we do need to make
11:45 the most because before we know it they're
11:48 gonna be gone, they're gonna be gone and
11:51 our opportunity's gone also. You know Christ
11:55 also realized about your One-on-One Time,
11:58 and He seized it when it came His way.
12:01 I don't know if you remember in John chapter 3
12:05 Nicodemus wanted to spend some, he came to Jesus
12:08 in secret because he was worried about his
12:09 reputation and stuff. But Jesus made the
12:13 very most and He took the conversation deep
12:17 very quickly, now you can't necessarily do that
12:20 without children sometimes you can't maybe
12:22 you can just ask them the question right or wrong
12:23 so, you know how are your emotions at that
12:26 moment or you know how's your conscious at
12:29 that moment maybe you can jump in there
12:30 but we wouldn't recommend that straight
12:32 off and leave that for a little bit further on.
12:35 You got to get the children because often
12:36 times children are used to only very shallow
12:40 conversation, that's all they have with their
12:42 buddies, it's all they have with their parents,
12:44 it's all they have had in life. And so now we got
12:47 to train them to go deeper and as they go deeper,
12:51 we're drawing them to our hearts so that
12:53 we end up being their confidence,
12:55 we end up being the one that if they've got
12:57 trouble they can pour it out to us.
13:00 So Christ made the most of Nicodemus.
13:03 What about the woman at the well that's another
13:05 illustration? Yeah, that's a great example of
13:07 one-on-one time again in the Bible.
13:08 You know Jesus was traveling, He was away
13:10 from home, He was tired, He was hungry and thirsty
13:14 He was now by that well that we read about
13:17 it in the Bible. And we know the story of the
13:19 woman who was gonna get water for Him but
13:21 then they started off a conversation that she was
13:23 on her own, and Jesus forgot all about His
13:27 hunger and thirst because He was
13:28 ministering to her needs. And for sure we know
13:30 the story she couldn't have been in a crowd
13:33 could she? And how the conversation she had
13:35 with Him that day, it's very personal,
13:37 it's very deep. But you know by the end of that
13:39 conversation she was recognizing Him as the
13:42 messiah, the people of His own town have not
13:45 done that, and then the whole town came out
13:48 to see Jesus as the result of that
13:50 One-on-One Time that He spent the time
13:52 to have with her. It's just another classic
13:55 situation that One-on-one Time it's much easier
14:00 to go deep quickly. Well it's very powerful.
14:03 Yeah and you know we need to utilize this
14:06 in the bonding of our children's heart
14:09 to our hearts. It's something that can't be
14:12 done necessarily in a crowd. And Jesus
14:14 recognizes one more time in this scriptures,
14:18 it's actually our scripture for today,
14:19 "then He," talking about Jesus," took them the
14:22 disciples that is and went aside privately into
14:26 a dessert place," well, it wasn't, that's from
14:29 Luke 9 and 10. It wasn't necessarily that they
14:31 just wanted to go out into some wilderness
14:33 type of a place, they wanted to go where
14:35 there was nobody. Jesus wanted some
14:38 special time with His disciples that He could
14:40 instruct them. And people have often said,
14:42 well it's not much about parenting in the
14:44 scriptures because and Jesus was a parent anyway.
14:47 I mean but hey, you know it's generally accepted
14:51 that boys are a bit more of a challenge than girls,
14:54 that's not always the case. But you know
14:55 a lot of people think that way and I think we
14:58 will think that way as well but you know Jesus
15:02 had 12 boys and some of them were called
15:05 the sons of thunder. I mean they were a pretty
15:07 wild lot and they wanted to call fire down from
15:10 the heaven sometimes and destroy the people
15:12 who wouldn't play with them properly.
15:13 And so you know Jesus understood what it
15:16 took to draw the hearts of those disciples out.
15:20 And so that there's a lot in the scriptures
15:22 if you search. And we are trying to bring out
15:24 some of those principles program by program.
15:27 You know you maybe sitting there and saying
15:30 yeah this is fine but I'm a single parent,
15:33 so how do I do this? You know that can be
15:36 challenging but it is possible to
15:38 take that time. You may not be having great
15:40 lengths of time particularly if you're
15:42 children are younger and you're a single parent.
15:43 But you could orchestrate ways in which
15:46 you can get 20 minutes for one child,
15:48 30 minutes with another child. Or you may say
15:50 oh we are just two of us or, but we have
15:52 seven children? Yeah that's a little
15:53 challenging too Right. But you know if you
15:55 got seven children then you probably need even
15:57 more to have One-On-One Time with each one of
15:59 of those in different ways that you could do that.
16:02 I remember one family that some of the conventions
16:03 we speak out and we were talking a little bit
16:05 about One-on-One Time. And the dad said,
16:08 I think that there was a large family I forgot
16:09 how many there must have been a lot of more
16:12 than a normal number of children seven
16:14 or more or whatever. And the dad said you know
16:16 I have 30 minutes with this one on Monday
16:19 and 30 minutes with that one on Tuesday.
16:21 And you know sometimes I do two in a day
16:24 and that's how he had One-On-One Time
16:25 with our children. And you could tell that
16:28 there was a connection between the dad
16:31 and those children, right, it was evident that
16:33 there was a heart connection.
16:35 You know something that Caleb and I have,
16:39 in the, in this program Happy The Home
16:41 we have say a number of times,
16:43 it's linked with the book in the Connected Family.
16:45 And after The Connected Family book was written
16:49 or actually as it was being written we were going
16:52 through the program ourselves,
16:54 we've done lots of it you know that's why we were
16:57 writing the book. But we thought we wanna run
16:59 through this and try and do one chapter a day.
17:02 Now I am not saying that you have to do that
17:04 but that's what we were doing.
17:05 And we got to chapter seven in the book
17:08 which is program seven, the one you're watching
17:10 today about One-On-One Time and so we planned
17:13 some One-On-One Time that Carolyn was gonna
17:16 spend some time with Hannah and I was going
17:18 to spend sometime with Caleb.
17:20 And so I said to Caleb and in fact we would
17:22 investigated his dreams if you were watching
17:24 program number 4. It was just a morning
17:27 you gonna have it we were to do different
17:29 things for that one morning.
17:30 That's right and so we were heading to Kalispell,
17:34 the town there where we lived.
17:35 And not far from there is what used to be called
17:38 Big Mountain resort. And in the winter time
17:41 people are skiing there, but in the summer
17:43 time it's you can take the gondola
17:47 or the chair lift up. And you can bike down
17:50 and Caleb wanted to do this.
17:52 We've done it once when he was a lot younger
17:55 but here we are going down the mountain.
17:57 This is what Caleb wants to do, it was a great
18:00 time father and son. We had a little while
18:05 before we bought some bikes and so we took
18:09 our own bikes and we were going down.
18:10 And you know Caleb, you're up to this,
18:12 it was seven miles and we went down the
18:14 first time and I could tell Caleb that some
18:16 of it was real steep. And I said Caleb,
18:18 are you confident in this kind of terrain?
18:21 And he says, well yeah, I'm getting more confident
18:24 and we would stop and we take some pictures
18:26 and we look at the flowers and stuff
18:28 and we'd have some boy talk.
18:29 And then as we got to the bottom I was thinking
18:33 I wonder if he wants to do it again,
18:34 I said, Caleb you want to go up again?
18:36 And he says, yeah that was good.
18:38 And we had already brought two rides up
18:41 and I said okay we're getting our monies
18:42 worth here. So we went up and we did it
18:44 all over again. And it was, it's hard for me
18:48 to explain to you just in this program,
18:51 but I know that we bonded on that trip.
18:55 And it was something that interested him
18:58 and it was something that interested me
18:59 and we had a great time together.
19:01 And as we're going down getting to the end,
19:03 the thing that it was mostly, it was all gravel
19:06 and your hands were buzzz. And my arms were
19:10 aching here and I thought you know from pulling
19:12 the brake, being a bit tense.
19:15 And I said I was a kind of hoping that Caleb
19:18 didn't wanna do it again. And I said Caleb,
19:22 do you wanna do it again? He says,
19:23 let's do it again. So off we went
19:26 and I had to pay some more money
19:28 and we went up again and as we're getting
19:29 near the top, it dawned on Caleb.
19:31 Ah! Another seven and half miles of squeezing
19:34 those brakes and weaving through the trees.
19:36 He says why don't we just walk around on top
19:38 and go down the, back down on the chairlift?
19:42 I said no buddy, we're up here and we're going
19:43 down on our bikes and we actually Caleb fell off
19:47 his bike right at the last minute we're in the
19:49 parking lot almost and he fell off.
19:50 But other than that we had a great time,
19:53 it was definitely a bonding time but
19:55 what were you and Hannah doing at the very
19:57 same time that we were doing that?
19:59 Well you know we didn't wanna bike down
20:02 the mountain on those mountain bikes.
20:03 Why not, it's great fun? It just didn't,
20:05 you know I would have, I would have done
20:07 for Hannah but she really had no interest
20:09 I said so what would you like to do?
20:11 Well you know we're so busy in and out with
20:13 all the travel that we do that we very often
20:15 don't really go to town we just kind of grab
20:17 some groceries on the way from the airport
20:19 to home and get some you know on the
20:20 way back out. And so we have a couple of big
20:23 thrift stores in our town which we barely
20:25 ever get to go to she said you know it would be
20:27 so fun just to get a mosey around the thrift stores.
20:30 And you know that's exactly what we did,
20:32 usually as I say, we're not really,
20:34 it's not be fast this time we weren't going
20:37 anywhere else but these thrift stores.
20:39 This is recreational shopping.
20:41 And you nowadays it's kind of fun,
20:43 we wear just about the same kind of clothes
20:45 pretty much and so we just had a blast.
20:48 And I mean you know ordinarily we're going
20:50 quick or to change try things out because
20:52 we gonna get out of here, move on,
20:53 but there was no pressure,
20:54 Paul and I were texting each other so I could
20:57 hear where he was at? What he was doing?
20:58 So I knew that we had another hour or two hours
21:01 that we could spend and.
21:02 Well remember the deal the, the cell phone died,
21:06 well, no I wasn't talking about that because
21:08 the biking was costing us I don't know
21:10 20 or 30 dollars or whatever, you came up
21:14 or Hannah came up with the idea that
21:15 what we spent on biking you could spend in the
21:18 thrift store, you remember that.
21:20 And we didn't spend as much as you but so yeah
21:23 and we had a real blast. And you know we had piles
21:25 of clothes and I try this and I say,
21:27 oh no it's not quite good for me,
21:28 does this work for good for you and she would try
21:30 and it was a lot of fun. We need to do this again
21:34 sometime for sure. Maybe Caleb will want to do with
21:36 me the next time I don't know but.
21:37 But you know it was some real fun,
21:40 enjoyable bonding time, it doesn't necessarily mean
21:44 that we go down to some really some very deep,
21:46 deep conversations. It doesn't mean every
21:49 One-On-One Time you need to uncover something
21:51 deep and meaning else it wasn't a profitable time,
21:54 just having that bonding fun time.
21:57 In fact as Paul says we, we were having a giggle
22:00 about the fact that you know whatever we bought,
22:02 daddy has said he'd agree to buy.
22:04 This shirt I am wearing today is one
22:06 of those items. Very nice here, very nice.
22:09 You know, those two examples, riding on the
22:15 mountain side and thrift store shopping.
22:19 If you think about it they both lend themselves
22:22 very much to sometime, just to be having
22:25 a chit chat. You know you wanna try,
22:27 if you gonna try some One-On-One Time
22:30 avoid areas that are really gone to stifle
22:34 the conversation. You know maybe this,
22:37 I don't know how many of you are movie goers
22:40 but you know it's really hard to have some
22:43 one-on-one quality time with your children
22:46 sat in a dark theater listening to a loud movie.
22:50 Or you know it maybe at the ball game
22:53 and everybody is cheering and is like you know,
22:55 you say hello to the person you have spend
22:57 the last hour with because you were so engrossed
23:00 and what else was going on. Well the only way
23:01 that might work as if you never had that time
23:04 before and you honestly don't know how to
23:06 get started, yeah, maybe you know that
23:07 you're kind of losing the heart of your child
23:09 and that there is already attitudes,
23:12 that maybe that's where you have to start.
23:14 Something I wanted to say is when you go have
23:16 this One-On-One Time on the day when
23:18 I was on the thrift stores the only phone call
23:20 I was taking was from Paul.
23:22 I wasn't answering the phone for anything
23:24 or anybody else because you know the devil
23:27 doesn't want us to have intimate time with
23:28 our children. And so he'll have all kinds of things
23:31 go on to distract us. So that cell phone
23:33 shut it off, don't answer it, don't be distract
23:37 because you're on a date with your child.
23:38 Yeah, parents, if you ever tried to get
23:41 your child to engage in a job with you maybe
23:46 cleaning the car, or maybe you know
23:48 tidying up the landscaping or whatever.
23:51 If they're there and but you know they kind
23:55 of got their hands on the hip type of when
23:57 is this gonna be over? And are we done,
24:00 can I go now? You know what does that say
24:03 to you as a parent, when they say can
24:05 I go now? It gives a loud and a clear message
24:09 we're not interested in this,
24:10 we just want to finish, we don't care for this,
24:13 can we go. Now if you're supposed to be having
24:16 One On One Time maybe you're supposed
24:17 to be waiting in the bushes, waiting for some
24:19 tree creeper thing to come along
24:20 or whatever and you're on the cell phone
24:23 and you're just talking backwards and forwards
24:25 and you know. And you're essentially giving
24:28 the message to your children you know this
24:31 One-On-One Time is pretty boring for me
24:32 and can I go now? And it's, you don't,
24:35 it will kill it, it will, it will, totally kill it.
24:37 So the message that we have to give to our
24:40 children during that One-On-One Time
24:41 is I'm in this for you, I am. Right,
24:45 and I wanted to say if you don't have any ideas
24:48 we have plenty of ideas in the book that you can
24:51 find that will might spring board you into
24:53 what you would like to do? Or what your child
24:55 would like to do for that One-On-One Time.
24:57 It's a, it has to be an unselfish time.
25:01 Oh! Definitely. Because. Not gonna be doing
25:04 what you wanted to do if Hannah
25:05 had wanted to bike, oh Lord I was gonna have
25:08 to go down for that matter.
25:09 But you would have done it. I would have done it.
25:10 You would have just held out and that
25:11 we are not doing that. Now what if your children
25:14 want to do something, yeah, that's totally crazy
25:17 and it's something that you haven't done before,
25:19 you might have curtailed it at that point.
25:20 And I have to pray, yeah, but you know
25:22 if it's something that it is a genuine interest
25:26 to your child then it is gonna be us that has
25:30 to make the change. If you want to have a
25:33 different kind of experience with your
25:34 children you're gonna have to do some different
25:36 kind of things with your children.
25:38 So if you've been saying no, no, no, no, no,
25:40 we're not going to do that and really deep down
25:42 you know the reason is not because of any,
25:46 any good reason, it just you don't wanna do it.
25:49 What a message that will send to your children
25:52 if you go to someone and say,
25:53 hey how about you and I go do such and such.
25:57 It will instantly give the message that we are
25:59 in this for you. So join us after the break we gonna
26:02 come back and we gonna talk specifically
26:04 about the challenge that step forward
26:07 that we have for you in this program.