Participants: Paul & Carolyn Rayne (Host), Hannah Rayne, Caleb Rayne
Series Code: HTH
Program Code: HTH00001A
00:01 Is your home a happy home?
00:03 Are the children's arriving you crazy?
00:05 You know if we are honest we could all
00:07 do with some help in making family life more
00:10 enjoyable. Join us now on Happy the Home,
00:13 it's a program you not only
00:14 watch, it's a program you do.
00:39 Welcome to Happy the Home.
00:41 I wanted to thank you for letting us into your
00:45 home. We wanted to invite you into our home.
00:48 We have my family with me here today
00:51 and I wanted to introduce them to
00:53 you one by one. Who are you?
00:56 I know who you are, but they don't know
00:58 who you are, who are you?
00:59 I'm Caleb Rayne, and I'm 12 years old
01:01 and I'm happy to be here today.
01:03 Good job! And my lovely wife in the middle,
01:07 she is not gonna tell you probably how old she is?
01:10 Sorry, my name is Carolyn and I'm really
01:13 excited to be here with you.
01:15 I think we are gonna have a great time together.
01:18 And who are you on the end young lady?
01:21 My name is Hannah Rayne,
01:22 and I'm 14 and I'm glad that we
01:24 have this opportunity to be here.
01:25 We are part of the ministry called Restoration
01:28 International based up in the Northwest Corner
01:31 of Montana. And for years we've gone around
01:34 giving seminars on marriage and family.
01:36 And that's why 3ABN has invited us here
01:39 for the Happy the Home program and
01:41 we are so looking forward to sharing with you.
01:44 You know the next 26 programs of
01:47 Happy the Home has split into a definite
01:50 three sections. And the first section is called,
01:56 winning a child's hearts. The first 13 programs
02:00 they are dedicated solely to one simple purpose
02:04 and that is winning the affections of our children,
02:07 so that they are inclined to like us as moment
02:12 that, when they like us then we can move
02:15 into some of those other sections.
02:16 What section two of that, Carolyn?
02:18 Section's two is entitled,
02:19 Leading Our Child's Heart to Christ.
02:21 So this pore says we would gonna win the
02:23 heart of our child first to you before you can
02:26 lead them on to Christ. This is a section that
02:29 every parent wants to see, their children being
02:31 let to the Lord and so that's what we are
02:33 looking at in this section and it's gonna
02:35 be aged appropriate, so younger children will be
02:38 making different decisions maybe than
02:40 the older child, but it's for the whole family,
02:43 for all of our children, whatever age.
02:45 And then section three is all about taking
02:51 some principles that we are gonna share
02:54 with you in the programs and actually rolling
02:57 those out into making the family very different.
03:00 And another big points on this program,
03:02 it's perhaps a little bit different to something
03:04 you watched before is that this is not just a
03:07 program that you are going to watch and then
03:10 say oh yeah that was interesting,
03:12 because we've got a take what we learn
03:14 and transition that into your family.
03:18 And so the idea is that at the end of every
03:20 program we are gonna have a very definite
03:23 and specific step forward.
03:26 What do I mean by step forward?
03:27 That's a challenge, as we talk about a
03:29 particular part on the program then we want
03:33 you to take what we've talked about
03:35 and roll it out in your family and that will
03:38 pave the way for the next program.
03:41 It's a little bit like instructions on Lego,
03:44 unless you are actually making what the little
03:47 instructions tell you, the steps by steps,
03:49 it's not very interesting
03:51 but if you were actually involved in
03:53 following those steps which in this case is
03:56 program by program you are gonna see
03:58 some real tangible results in your children,
04:01 in your own heart very quickly,
04:04 and so something else that is going to go
04:06 along with the program is what Carolyn?
04:09 Well we are really excited to share with you.
04:11 This is the companion book to the series
04:13 Happy the Home. It's entitled,
04:15 The Connected Family, simple steps to positive
04:19 parenting. We've written this to really
04:21 enhance the programs and you are gonna get
04:23 a lot more out of these than you will just solely
04:26 by watching the program. So you gonna
04:28 want to get a copy of this and the challenges
04:31 that we are gonna be putting to you during
04:32 these programs are in here,
04:34 and there are places to be at a journey too.
04:36 So this is something that
04:37 you are really gonna want to have.
04:40 So, let's get going what we are gonna
04:42 do in this first program, actually
04:44 you are joining us and we are just gonna,
04:46 we are gonna invite you into our family.
04:49 We are gonna have some family time and right now
04:51 she is gonna be reading a story about Shackleton.
04:55 After that we are gonna draw some parenting
04:57 lessons from our children. We will have a prayer
04:59 and they will go to bed, and we will just
05:02 talk how to be as parents. So I know
05:06 children you've read this story,
05:08 you've read the whole story.
05:09 I'm just gonna summarize it
05:10 down into five minutes or so for the viewers.
05:13 In 1914, British explorer Ernest
05:17 Shackleton set sail boat endurance.
05:20 Now Hannah what was endurance, what was it?
05:24 It was the boat that Shackleton and his men
05:26 were traveling on to, to their expedition.
05:29 They named that because it
05:30 was their family motto I think.
05:31 That's right and Caleb where were they heading
05:33 and what were they going to do,
05:34 do you remember? They were going to
05:36 the Antarctic to go across the Antarctic circle.
05:42 Yeah they were gonna try and be the first
05:44 people to walk all the way the across the
05:46 Antarctic on foot. Nobody had ever done
05:49 that before. But fairly early on in their journey
05:53 towards the cost they got lot in what's called
05:55 Pack Ice. They were surrounded by ice as
05:58 far as the eye could see. And they were stuck
06:01 and then for the next 10 months locks in the ice
06:06 they drifted and they drifted, they drifted
06:09 away from where they were trying to get to.
06:12 They realized that there was no chance
06:14 they were gonna be the first people to get across
06:16 the Antarctic on foot because they were
06:19 drifting away from land and eventually
06:21 they got to the point where the boats was
06:23 being crushed. The ice, the storms were
06:26 pushing on the boat, and the boat tipped
06:29 over to a 30 degree angle and Shackleton
06:32 gave orders that he and the 27 other men
06:36 were gonna have to get out of the boat
06:39 and on to the ice. So they setup camp on
06:42 the ice and just a few weeks later the boat
06:44 was crushed like a play thing and
06:48 disappeared into the ice. So, now they were
06:50 totally alone, 28 men, 300 miles from land.
06:56 Well Shackleton's first instinct and we are
06:59 gonna talk a little bit about this when we talk
07:02 about the parenting application,
07:03 Shackleton's first instinct there was we got to
07:06 get out here. We got to get to land so he set
07:09 off to try and walk 300 miles to the
07:12 nearest bit of land. Well that didn't work.
07:15 Did it family? So he was, they were just
07:18 on a big floating ice flow
07:20 They were on the ocean, but the ocean
07:23 was frozen. So, yeah, they were essentially
07:25 on a great big raft. And sometimes
07:27 it was all one piece and sometimes
07:29 they weren't connected, and so
07:31 they drifted and after about, they were drifting
07:36 on the ice and getting closer, even though
07:38 they weren't actually moving.
07:39 They figured out, they are trying to walk
07:41 and pull their lifeboats and all their supplies
07:43 across the ice, that wasn't gonna work.
07:45 So about five months later, they got to the
07:48 point where the weather was changing.
07:49 It was warming up if you can imagine anything
07:52 warm, but the ice started to break up
07:54 on the, that they were campaign on,
07:56 and some people fell in the water.
07:58 And so they launched the lifeboats three
08:02 of them, three little lifeboats about the
08:04 size of a vehicle, and they tried to sail to the
08:07 nearest bit a land, and it was a nightmare
08:10 of a trip. You remember some of the detail family
08:12 as we were talking about that,
08:14 the ice was forming inside the boat,
08:17 and the boat was gonna sink but eventually
08:20 they did get to a place, what was the place
08:23 that go to. I forgot the name of the island.
08:25 Elephant Island! Elephant Island, thank you Caleb!
08:27 They go to Elephant Island and they were safe.
08:29 They were on land. They hadn't been on land
08:32 for 497 days, that's how long they'd either
08:36 been struck in the boat or stuck on the ice.
08:38 But now they are on land, but it was land
08:40 that nobody was ever gonna find them on.
08:43 So, Shackleton decided to take,
08:45 so they didn't have email, no email, no GPS,
08:49 no cell phone. The thing is nobody knew they
08:53 were there. And people presumed that they
08:55 would so. It happened to people before.
08:57 So they realized if they were gonna get
09:00 themselves out of the situation,
09:02 so another little parenting lesson here,
09:04 they were gonna have to be very much
09:07 involved in that. Nobody was gonna
09:09 do it for them. So, Shackleton took five
09:13 of his more, stronger men and they set off
09:18 to try and sail to South Georgia Island,
09:21 which was 800 miles away. In a 22 foot boat,
09:26 like I said no GPSs, no guidance.
09:29 It was just like look at the stars and say
09:31 that's the way we got to go and this
09:34 wasn't just a little trip from one Hawaii Island
09:37 to the other. This is the some of the roughest
09:40 seas known to man. And they set out,
09:44 and they were up and down and they went
09:46 through quite some despair figuring they
09:48 would never make it and then they thought
09:50 they would, but finally Caleb,
09:52 I keep putting you on the spot here,
09:54 you know in this program we are
09:56 gonna be very real, and so I'm putting my
09:59 children right on the spot here.
10:01 Caleb, did they make it to South Georgia?
10:04 Yeah they made it, they made it.
10:06 What was the problem with their arrival on
10:09 South Georgia? They were on the wrong
10:11 side of the island. The wrong side of
10:13 the island, so Hannah was, what were the
10:16 options now they were those six men were on
10:20 South Georgia, which was where safety was.
10:23 How far away was safety and how
10:25 were they were gonna have get there?
10:26 Well they can either sail around the island
10:28 to get to the other side or they can climb
10:30 over the mountain that I think about 21 miles.
10:33 What was the problem been going around?
10:35 The boats were in too bad condition.
10:37 The boats went up to. Yeah.
10:38 So they were gonna have to climb over,
10:40 and the problem with climbing over these
10:42 mountains is that they were considered
10:44 totally impossible. Do you ever get to any
10:46 points like that in our parenting,
10:48 you get to a point and think,
10:49 I don't think there's, I don't think there is
10:52 any hope of us getting over this one.
10:53 Anyway that was the situation they were in.
10:56 They decided to go it alone. In other words,
10:59 they wouldn't taken any tents, they wouldn't
11:01 taken any supplies, just a little bit of food
11:03 and they were gonna try and do it all in one go,
11:05 no sleeping bags. So over they went
11:08 and they did. They went on one peak
11:10 and then they have to come down.
11:11 They tried another peak and they have to
11:12 come down, but eventually they got up
11:14 and over. And they got to one point
11:17 and this you know children, and Carolyn
11:19 this is my favorite part of the story.
11:21 They got to a point where they were on
11:22 top of a ridge and it was getting cold
11:25 and where they got to get off the ridge,
11:27 and so who they gonna do this.
11:29 They were trying to go down step by step
11:31 and they knew, Shackleton knew,
11:33 going at that rate they were gonna freeze
11:35 before they ever got off the mountain.
11:37 So they decided to hook up together
11:40 and like a tree man Toboggan,
11:41 but there was no Toboggan and they
11:43 just pushed off and they went sliding down
11:46 this bang, into the mist, into the unknown
11:50 and they went for a 100 seconds.
11:51 Now 100 seconds isn't very long,
11:53 but if you are doing that and you don't know
11:55 what's ahead of you, rocks, boulders, cliffs,
11:58 that's a long time but eventually the whole
12:01 story is in the book, but they got to safety.
12:05 They got down. They eventually got to safety,
12:08 and Shackleton organized and
12:11 that's another whole story, but eventually
12:12 they went back and they got those of the men
12:15 and they were all safe. They were all saved,
12:20 and they spent sometime together.
12:22 You know in parenting sometimes it seems that
12:25 it's too difficult, there's too many
12:28 things against us. But we won't get into that,
12:32 what we are gonna do, is we will have prayer
12:33 at this point and then when the children are
12:35 gone to bed, Carolyn and I gonna sit down.
12:37 We are gonna draw a few lessons from
12:40 Shackleton's story here, so Hannah why don't
12:42 you have a prayer for us before you head to bed?
12:56 Dear heavenly father, thank you for this day
12:58 that we have and the opportunities
12:59 that we've to serve you in it and please be with
13:02 us now in the different things that we will be
13:04 doing. Help us to sleep well and for
13:06 the parents to have an enjoyable evening
13:08 and please help us to be refreshed for the morning
13:11 to serve you again, in Jesus name amen, amen.
13:15 Okay children! Sweet dreams, love you.
13:18 Sleep good, love you buddy. Yup!
13:27 Isn't that a very typical boy response,
13:29 I say hey love you buddy, yup.
13:32 So Carolyn, let me come and join you on the
13:35 couch there. I feel like we are more cozy
13:37 when we are together.
13:44 So, how does the Shackleton's story
13:46 encourage us as parents? Well even as I was just
13:49 recapping the story with the children,
13:51 it seemed there are a number of things,
13:53 but you know nowhere through that story do
13:56 we get any great indication that
13:58 Shackleton was or his men were praying people,
14:02 but I remember a part we didn't,
14:04 we view there was that when they have to cut
14:06 down their supplies to just a little bit each
14:09 that Shackleton tore a few pages out of his
14:12 Bible and kept that and he have to get rid
14:14 of the rest, but you know if we are going
14:18 to be successful in a parenting,
14:23 we have gonna be praying people
14:25 because you know, you know as a mom,
14:28 oh yeah, it's not an easy job.
14:31 And sometimes it seems to be the world
14:34 has the mentality also what are you do for
14:37 living? Oh well I'm a stay-at-home mom.
14:40 And it's almost like a stay-at-home mom
14:42 is an occupation that you have if you
14:44 can't do anything good. But, parenting
14:48 is, it's something that's just brushed aside us.
14:53 Hey, the children just grow up and we provide
14:55 them with clothes and we take them to their
14:57 sports games and all of that, but real success
15:00 for parenting is gonna take prayer,
15:03 and it's gonna take three very specific
15:05 kind of prayers- the praying for power.
15:08 God has plenty of power.
15:09 He speaks wills into existence.
15:12 There is no doubt that God has power.
15:15 How do we get that power into our family
15:19 to effect us as parents and to
15:21 affect our children, one of the key ways
15:24 is through prayer, just a simple prayer.
15:27 It doesn't have to be eloquence.
15:28 It can be good. I am a lousy parent,
15:31 and I got terrible kids and I need your help.
15:35 That's a good prayer that was better than
15:37 hey can you just help me polish a few areas
15:39 off the area of my family.
15:40 You know I don't know if anybody prays that
15:43 kind of prayer. I know we have necessarily
15:45 ever prayed that we need polish.
15:46 We don't need polish at this point.
15:47 We need the real stuff. So we need to pray for
15:51 God's power in us so that we can be
15:55 good parents. What was another prayer
15:57 that we could off for our children?
15:59 Another prayer is the prayer of determination.
16:02 You know, do you ever get discourage
16:04 as parents? Do you think we ever do?
16:06 Oh yeah! Do you ever feel like somebody
16:09 else could do a better job than you?
16:11 You've been there before? I've been there.
16:14 So hang on. Can I? You've been there?
16:16 Oh yeah. So, you would've thought
16:19 since we are the ones doing the program
16:21 that people would think that we have it
16:22 all together, but what you are saying here
16:25 on program number one out of 26
16:27 is that you haven't got it together?
16:29 No! I was trying to get it together most
16:32 definitely and maybe we've learned some
16:34 things along the way that we can share with you,
16:36 but yes we are just trying to be very real
16:38 in this series and share with you.
16:40 We've been right where you are.
16:41 Maybe you are right there right now,
16:43 maybe you are watching this because you have
16:45 become very discouraging your parenting
16:47 and feel like throwing the towel, somebody
16:49 else may be doing a better job than you.
16:51 Deep down we know that's not the case,
16:53 but that's why we need to pray for determination,
16:55 that we will be determined that by
16:57 God's grace that we are gonna stick at this,
16:59 and through his power and that's what you
17:02 were talking about praying for.
17:03 We are gonna come through with our
17:04 children where we need to be.
17:06 Determination! Shackleton and his men,
17:10 they had determination. They had to have it
17:11 or so they were gonna physically die.
17:14 We need it, otherwise we are spiritually
17:17 gonna die as a family. Another prayer is a
17:21 prayer of commitment. You know, I just wanna
17:24 speak to the parents directly and particularly
17:27 to the dads. This is a dad to a dad.
17:30 We can get so focused on other stuff often
17:35 times it's employment or hobbies or whatever
17:40 that the kids can almost be, and I'm just being
17:44 honest with you, it's almost like they can be
17:46 a bother, just don't bother me.
17:49 But we are their father. They need us.
17:53 They need to be had to look up to us,
17:56 because later on in the series of programs
17:59 we are gonna trying connecting our children
18:01 to their father, but first of all they got to be
18:04 connected to this father, so we can lead them.
18:06 So dads we have an active role to play.
18:09 We don't wanna miss out single parents either.
18:11 You know it's a heavy burden when you
18:15 are a single parent. Because you are tying
18:16 to be mom and dad in one person
18:19 and that is humanly much more difficult
18:22 than having to, which is obviously God's idea,
18:24 but is God limited by the fact that there is
18:28 only one parent? No God can work through you.
18:31 So be encouraged. These 26 programs
18:33 that we are gonna go though are for single
18:35 parents as well as for, you know, a regular
18:38 mom and dad type of situation.
18:40 But you know, praying for commitment,
18:42 praying that we will have the commitment
18:47 to raise good children, it's gonna take
18:51 commitment; another prayer that we could offer?
18:54 Another prayer is to pray for our children,
18:57 you know specifically about there specific needs
19:00 and I know that when I do that with my children
19:02 when I take the time to do that, maybe there
19:04 is a particular area something that they
19:06 are struggling with, they weren't seem to be
19:08 getting anywhere, feel like you are banging
19:10 your head against the brick wall, not getting
19:11 through, if I would pray about that I've noticed
19:15 the difference in my children and over the
19:17 years we have prayed a lot about and for our
19:20 children and so much so and with them
19:24 as well of course but so much so that
19:26 I can remember, I don't know I even told
19:28 you about this, but we had a visitor around
19:30 in neighbor who was not a Christian,
19:32 and Caleb was beginning to fool around.
19:35 And I really didn't want that to happen.
19:38 And so I called to his heart just by saying son,
19:42 and he knows what that meant.
19:44 I didn't have to go into the whole spiel about,
19:46 do you think Jesus likes this when we are
19:47 in front of neighbor who doesn't profess
19:50 Christianity and so I called to his heart
19:52 and it kind of change for little bit,
19:54 but didn't really get to the bottom of it.
19:56 And so then I quietly just went over to Caleb
19:58 and said son could you go to your room.
20:01 Now I knew that he knew what I meant
20:04 was please go to your room and pray.
20:06 But I didn't feel that I could just freely say that.
20:08 So I just asked him to go to his room,
20:11 and I didn't tell him what he was doing wrong.
20:13 Well he came back, and when he came back
20:16 he just said sorry mommy. I was being
20:19 foolish. I won't do it anymore.
20:20 And the neighbor turned to me and
20:23 he said that's amazing! You didn't tell him
20:27 why he was going to his room.
20:29 And I still didn't feel like I could necessarily
20:32 share fully, you know what had transpired
20:35 but I was really encouraged.
20:37 Prayer is very powerful. We need to pray
20:40 specifically for our children that they will
20:42 be connected to the Holy Spirit through
20:44 those prayers. So, the first program here
20:49 that we are working up to step forward
20:53 section which is right at the very end
20:55 after the little break, but I think you can tend
20:58 which direction we are going here,
20:59 we need to be praying for ourselves to be good
21:05 parents because we are just like anything in life,
21:09 it's gonna effort. It took effort for Shackleton
21:13 and his guys to get out of the situation
21:16 they were in to something better.
21:18 And I don't know where you are and
21:21 you are parenting, but I know for Carolyn
21:23 and I, and I know for the hundreds of families
21:25 that we have met on travels as we travel
21:29 and speak is, every family is desiring
21:32 something better. And there is another prayer
21:35 that we can pray, if you are saying hey things
21:37 are mess at home and who cares anyway,
21:40 you know we are never gonna get out
21:42 of the situation. So hey it's a great program.
21:44 We will watch it, but there's probably
21:45 not much hope for us. You know there is hope
21:48 for you. It doesn't have to say the way
21:52 it is. You know every parent,
21:55 I have some friends, they don't even live
21:59 in the US. They live over in Europe and
22:01 they can't even go out for a meal without
22:07 cringing of the embarrassment the
22:10 children are gonna cause and that's not
22:12 uncommon, so where it just takes the
22:15 sparkle out of life. It takes the sparkle out
22:17 of parenting, if we haven't got the tools
22:24 that we are heading in a positive direction.
22:26 So, we really wanna encourage you to pray
22:28 for those specific things we've talked about
22:31 and I just wanna reiterate something
22:34 that we spoke out at the beginning of the
22:36 program and that is the Happy the Home,
22:39 this first section and section two and then
22:42 the section three, they are all programs
22:44 that you do. You know, you are not gonna
22:47 get the most of it by watching Carolyn
22:50 and I or the children onset here, just enjoying
22:53 some family time and giving some instruction.
22:56 It's only as you take these things
22:58 and you get down on your keens and say okay
23:01 God I'm in. I'm gonna get involved in this one,
23:04 I'm gonna take it from program one.
23:07 I'm gonna do what they say at the end
23:09 of the program. And by God's grace
23:11 because you can do these first few things,
23:13 of praying for power and praying for commitment
23:16 and praying for determination you can
23:18 do those things that's not difficult,
23:20 even if it's really not even in your heart to do.
23:22 Do you think God would accept the prayer
23:24 that isn't really even in our heart?
23:28 You think he would? Yeah, I think He'll
23:31 accept our smallest steps towards him.
23:34 So we are gonna take a little break here now,
23:37 and then we are gonna come back and
23:39 we wanna explain to you the whole step forward
23:42 process and how we take what we've talked
23:46 about this little bit here in the program and
23:48 transition into your family. Join us again too.