Heart Lift

Forgiveness: Asking Forgiveness of Others

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Jill Morikone

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Series Code: HLFT

Program Code: HLFT000005A


00:26 Hello, and welcome to Heart Lift.
00:28 I'm Jill Morikone, and I'm so glad that
00:30 you've joined us today.
00:32 We're on a journey, in the middle of a journey toward
00:35 healing, toward hope, toward the transformation that the Lord
00:40 Jesus Christ, wants to work in your life and in mine,
00:43 as women of God, as daughters of the King.
00:47 If you've just joined us, we're in the middle of several
00:51 programs dealing with the concept of forgiveness.
00:54 Two programs ago we talked about the parable, the story,
00:58 that Jesus told in Luke 8 about the sower who went
01:03 forth to sow his seed.
01:05 It fell on the wayside.
01:07 We talked about the hindrances in our own hearts for God
01:12 when He wants to plant His word deep,
01:14 and sometimes we put up roadblocks.
01:16 Sometimes we have hindrances that we put up to keep God from
01:21 planting His word in our hearts.
01:23 One of those hindrances is when we're resistant to the work
01:27 of the Holy Spirit.
01:28 We're like the road; we've become hard.
01:31 And God said, Surrender to Me.
01:33 I can plow up that hard soil, and I can make it soft.
01:37 Next, some of the seed was trampled upon.
01:42 We talked about how each one of us experience trampling on.
01:47 Sometimes Satan confuses the character of God.
01:50 Sometimes its an abuse, or some sort of pain, some wrong that
01:55 someone else has done you.
01:56 We discussed last program on the deliverance that the Lord
02:00 Jesus Christ wants to do in each one of our hearts and lives.
02:04 He says, Simply pray.
02:06 Ask for My forgiveness.
02:08 Pray for the person who hurt you.
02:11 Surrender the desire for revenge.
02:14 And choose to process those steps until God
02:17 releases our heart.
02:18 Today we're going to discuss forgiving other people.
02:21 How do we ask for forgiveness when we're the ones
02:24 who have done wrong?
02:25 And, finally, we'll end with the stolen seed.
02:30 The sower casts forth his seed on the road.
02:33 Some was trampled, and some the birds ate. It was stolen.
02:37 We're going to end with that stolen seed.
02:39 First is our Scripture, Hebrews 12:14, 15.
02:44 The word of God says, Pursue peace with all people,
02:48 and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:
02:52 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God;
02:57 lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble,
03:01 and by this many become defiled.
03:05 Lets pray. Father we come before You.
03:09 Thank You for the forgiveness that You want to pour into our
03:13 hearts for our brothers and sisters.
03:16 We praise Your name for that.
03:18 Right now we open up our hearts for Your divine inspection.
03:21 We ask that You would show us, show us if there's any
03:25 bitterness, or any aught against us and a brother and sister.
03:29 I just pray that You could hide me, and that You could speak
03:33 to our hearts, that You could be seen.
03:36 And we thank You in the precious and holy name of Jesus, Amen.
03:41 Greg and I like to garden.
03:45 I think I could honestly say that Greg is a much better
03:49 gardener than I am, and that he enjoys it even more than I do.
03:53 He loves nothing better than the wind in his hair,
03:55 and his hands in the dirt, the sun on his face.
03:59 Now I like to go outside, and I love working in my flower beds.
04:02 But Greg loves any type of gardening: working with the
04:05 tractor, plowing up the soil, working in the garden.
04:10 He likes weeding, he likes hoeing, he likes fertilizing,
04:15 he loves our raspberries, and our blueberries, and our apple
04:20 trees, which sadly died.
04:21 But any type of gardening, he really likes.
04:24 One of my special loves is herbs. I love herbs.
04:28 I like fresh herbs.
04:30 To me they're much more economical.
04:32 It's a lot cheaper if you're cooking to use fresh herbs,
04:36 if you grow them from the garden.
04:39 If you buy them in the store, they're quite expensive.
04:42 So I really like to use fresh herbs.
04:45 They taste better, and they're cheaper if
04:48 you grow them yourself.
04:50 On the South side of our garage, we planted an herb garden.
04:54 Now I had your traditional herbs.
04:57 There's some Basil, there's some Parsley, there's some Oregano,
05:01 some Cilantro, some Thyme.
05:03 One year someone gave us some mint, and they said, Oh Jill,
05:08 you're going to love this.
05:09 Now if you garden you know exactly where
05:11 this story is going.
05:13 What happened: the first year the mint filled in very nicely,
05:17 and I was very pleased with the results.
05:20 The second year, you know what happened?
05:21 It began to overtake and overrun my garden.
05:27 My Basil was boxed in.
05:29 The Cilantro was crowded.
05:31 And the Oregano was overrun.
05:34 It even went out into the grass.
05:36 And when Greg would mow the grass, you know what happened?
05:39 You could smell the mint, and it smelled really good,
05:42 but that was not the point.
05:44 I didn't want mint everywhere.
05:46 So we yanked, and we pulled, and we tried to pull it up,
05:49 and nothing worked.
05:51 Finally what we did is we used good old fashioned weed killer,
05:55 and we sprayed the entire herb garden,
05:58 and we let it rest for a year.
06:01 When I planted my herb garden again on the South side of my
06:06 garage, you can be sure I did not plant mint,
06:11 or if I did, I would have put it in a container box.
06:14 But I was so burned on it, I didn't even plant mint.
06:18 I think the root of bitterness is something like that mint.
06:22 It invades us, and in the beginning we think
06:24 it's not such a bad thing.
06:26 But then pretty soon it spreads, it grows, it multiplies until
06:33 it effects us, our homes, our marriages, our kids, our church,
06:39 our ministry, our place of work.
06:42 Bitterness spreads, but the beautiful thing is
06:45 that God's love wins.
06:48 In John 13, John 13, let me jump over here.
06:54 This is Jesus speaking, and I like to think of John 13, 14,
06:59 15, 16, 17 as Jesus' last will and testament, as it were.
07:04 He's just completed the foot washing with the disciples.
07:07 They're getting ready, He's getting ready
07:09 to go to the cross, and He's on His way to the
07:12 Garden of Gethsemane.
07:13 But yet He takes time with those twelve men that He loved,
07:18 that He was training for service, and He shared with them
07:22 some last minute pointers, you could say, as it were.
07:26 John 13:34, 35. He says, A new commandment I give to you,
07:33 That you love one another; as I have loved you,
07:37 that you also love one another.
07:40 By this all will know that you are My disciples,
07:44 if you have love one for another.
07:47 And as I read that verse, it seems like I hear God speak
07:50 to my mind and He says, Jill, do you have love
07:53 for your brothers and sisters?
07:54 It's easy to be kind to those who are kind to us in return.
08:00 It's painless to reach out to those without prickles.
08:03 It's easy to love those who love us back.
08:08 The real test comes when the loving costs us something;
08:13 when it's uncomfortable, when it hurts.
08:17 I received a letter from a woman once who decided to address
08:21 some of the issues that she saw in my life.
08:24 Now I'm just being honest with you.
08:26 I think there was some valid points, and there were some
08:30 issues that I really had that I should look at.
08:32 And, I'm being honest with you, I think some
08:34 of it wasn't so valid.
08:36 But maybe that's just my own opinion.
08:38 So some was good, and maybe some I shouldn't
08:42 have taken to heart.
08:43 But at the beginning I couldn't even focus on any of that.
08:47 All I felt was the sting of what she had written.
08:50 And as I prayed over it, I didn't know how to deal with it.
08:54 And I tried praying for her, and I started working
08:57 through this in my life.
08:59 And that morning I was in Romans, Romans 15,
09:04 for my own personal devotions.
09:06 And I was reading Romans 15, and I came to verse 5.
09:11 It says, Now may the God of patience and comfort
09:15 grant you to be like-minded toward one another
09:19 according to Christ Jesus: that you may with one mind
09:23 and one mouth glorify God.
09:26 And as I read it I said, God, I know I'm not like-minded
09:31 toward this sister who just wrote me this letter,
09:33 but I want to be. And I kept reading.
09:36 Verse 7. Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also
09:42 received us, to the glory of God.
09:45 And it's like I felt God tap me on the shoulder.
09:50 And He said, Jill, I've received you.
09:56 I've accepted you as My daughter.
09:58 Don't you think you could accept and receive this other woman?
10:03 this woman who wrote you this letter?
10:06 And I said, Okay, God, I'm sorry.
10:07 I want to receive her as my sister.
10:10 Please teach me how.
10:12 And He led me on those steps of forgiveness, on those steps
10:17 of releasing and becoming free from that bitterness
10:21 that I was bound with.
10:23 But what if you say you've dealt with that.
10:27 And you've dealt with maybe the people who have hurt you,
10:29 but what if you have hurt someone else?
10:32 What if there's pain, and there's angst in your life,
10:35 and you have injured someone?
10:37 You've lied about someone.
10:39 You've stole from someone else.
10:41 You've gossipped about them.
10:43 Maybe you're the one who pulled the trigger on someone else.
10:47 I don't know what's going on in your heart right now.
10:50 If we've hurt, if we've offended other people,
10:54 God has a solution for that as well.
10:57 I think there's five steps specifically when we're asking
11:00 for forgiveness for other people.
11:03 1. Pray for God to show you who you have wronged.
11:08 I think this is very important.
11:10 Many times we don't see our hearts.
11:13 We don't see our lies.
11:14 We don't see the way that we have hurt, or that we have
11:18 injured other people.
11:20 So just go to God.
11:21 I love Psalm 139. Search me, O God, and know my heart:
11:25 try me, and know my thoughts: and show me the wickedness
11:30 that exists in my life.
11:31 So just go to God and say, God, what is in my life?
11:35 Who have I hurt, even unintentionally?
11:39 I remember once a woman came up to me and she said,
11:42 Jill you have hurt me excruciatingly.
11:46 And you know the truth? I had no idea.
11:49 I had never intended anything in my heart.
11:52 I was glad she told me.
11:55 But if they don't tell you, what are we supposed to do?
11:57 Go to God. He can show us.
12:00 He can show us what's in our heart, and if we need to ask
12:03 forgiveness of someone else.
12:05 2. Ask for their forgiveness.
12:08 I think the most important thing would be to do it in person,
12:12 if you can. I think that's best.
12:14 But what if you can't?
12:15 What if they live a long way away?
12:17 What if you're uncomfortable, and a little afraid
12:20 what you're going to say.
12:21 You can always detail it out.
12:23 You can write it in a letter.
12:25 3. Be specific. Don't say, I'm sorry if I offended you.
12:29 I'm sorry if I hurt you.
12:31 That puts it right back on the other person.
12:33 Be specific. Say I know what I said here was damaging,
12:38 or whatever, whatever you did. Be specific.
12:42 4. Make restitution.
12:46 If possible make the wrong right.
12:49 If you stole some money, pay it back.
12:52 I think of Zacchaeus.
12:53 Remember he was climbing up, and he was in the Sycamore
12:56 tree, so that he could see Jesus.
12:59 He was a tax collector.
13:01 When Jesus came what did He do?
13:04 He said, Zacchaeus come down.
13:06 I'm going to your house.
13:07 Zacchaeus came down and he said, Lord who ever I have wronged,
13:10 who ever I have hurt, I'm going to repay fourfold.
13:16 It's a Biblical principle, restitution.
13:20 Maybe you've gossiped about someone.
13:23 You can go back and tell the truth.
13:25 That's eating some humble pie.
13:27 Now I don't mean to the person you gossiped about,
13:29 I mean to the people that you, all the other people you told.
13:33 Go back and say, You know what?
13:34 I talked about so and so.
13:36 I should never have done that. I'm sorry.
13:38 First pray and ask for God to show you who you need
13:43 to ask forgiveness for?
13:44 Second, ask for their forgiveness.
13:46 Either write a letter or in person.
13:48 Third, be specific in how you've hurt them.
13:51 4. Make restitution.
13:53 And 5. Trust God to heal the relationship in His time.
13:59 Healing takes time.
14:00 Once you've asked for forgiveness,
14:03 and done all you can to make it right, simply trust God
14:07 to make it right in His time.
14:09 I remember there was a woman, I'll call her Mary,
14:13 this was years ago.
14:15 I did something and God brought to my mind several years later.
14:21 He brought to my mind what I had done, and He said,
14:24 Jill you need to make it right.
14:25 And I said, God I don't even know where she lives.
14:28 This is over ten years ago when I did that.
14:30 I knew her then, but I haven't kept in touch
14:34 with her in ten years.
14:35 How am I going to find her?
14:38 What if she doesn't live in the same house?
14:39 You know it's too difficult God.
14:41 I'm not going to do that.
14:42 But He didn't let me off the hook that easily.
14:45 Every day as I was having my devotional time with God
14:48 in the morning, He said, Write Mary a letter.
14:52 Write Mary a letter. And I said, Okay.
14:56 And so I sat down and I began to write a letter to Mary.
15:02 I explained, I was specific.
15:05 I said, These are the ways I hurt you, and I am sorry.
15:08 Specific in what I had done.
15:11 I mailed the letter, and I didn't know if she still
15:15 lived at that address.
15:16 I just took a chance.
15:17 And so the amazing thing is a week went by and I thought,
15:20 Oh, she's gotten it by now.
15:22 What's she going to think?
15:24 What's she going to say?
15:25 I didn't hear anything.
15:27 But that barely had time for her to get the letter.
15:29 Two weeks went by, nothing.
15:31 Two months went by, nothing.
15:35 Six months, nothing.
15:38 A year, nothing. Remember step 5. Trust God to heal
15:46 the relationship in His time.
15:48 And so I prayed and I said, God I don't know
15:52 what to do with this.
15:54 I've done all I can.
15:55 And He said, Jill you've done what you can.
15:56 There's nothing else you can do. Trust Me.
16:00 And so I said, Okay, but it sure feels good if the person you've
16:04 asked forgiveness for, if they come back
16:05 and say, I do forgive you.
16:07 I met her at a convention.
16:10 And I just bumped into her.
16:12 And she never comes to this convention.
16:14 But I bumped into her, and she said,
16:15 Oh thanks for that letter Jill. It meant a lot.
16:18 And God said, Now I have brought your relationship full circle.
16:24 Now I have brought the healing that I intended
16:28 to do in the beginning.
16:29 We talked about the sower, how he went forth to sow.
16:34 Remember there was the wayside, the road, the resistant heart.
16:38 Then some of the seed was trampled on.
16:40 Some of the other seed was stolen.
16:45 How was the seed stolen?
16:47 How do you know if the seed, the word of God, is being stolen
16:51 right out from under your nose? right out of your heart?
16:55 I think the seed is stolen sometimes by our busyness.
17:00 I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm so busy it takes
17:04 time even to get into the word of God.
17:05 And I say, I've got five verses.
17:07 Done, done, okay, I'm done! Next thing God!
17:10 I didn't take time.
17:13 I didn't savor His presence.
17:15 I didn't read and study.
17:18 So sometimes the word of God is stolen right
17:20 out because I'm busy.
17:21 I think another way it's stolen is because I become careless,
17:26 or maybe I'm lazy.
17:28 We have a lot of deer in our neighborhood.
17:32 We live in the country.
17:33 I've mentioned that before.
17:34 I think we've counted twenty-five at one time.
17:38 But usually they don't all come through our yard at once.
17:42 We have two or three, and then another two or three,
17:45 and then another two or three.
17:48 They love to come in.
17:50 They go in our garden, and they eat up the stuff.
17:53 That is not very pleasant.
17:55 And I've tried to run out and chase them.
17:57 We have a fence. It has electricity.
18:00 But they can get in our garden.
18:02 They eat my azalea bushes on the north side of the house,
18:07 and that doesn't make me too happy either.
18:10 And they can even come in; they cross the sidewalk
18:14 and they dig my tulip bulbs out right in front of my house.
18:19 Now, they're not very lazy, are they?
18:23 They get in, they get what they want.
18:26 But sometimes I can become lazy.
18:30 I cannot pay attention.
18:31 Maybe there's more things, more steps, something we could do
18:36 to prevent them from coming in as much.
18:39 And I just get careless, or lazy.
18:42 I think the third way the seed is stolen is by misunderstanding
18:47 of the seed's value.
18:49 It was another Monday night, we were having our study in jail.
18:54 And all of a sudden I heard a woman scream.
18:57 And I was startled, but I looked around the circle of women,
19:02 and they didn't seem startled at all.
19:04 They were just focused on the study.
19:06 My friend from church was leading the study,
19:08 and she said, How many of you have heard of the story of
19:10 Daniel and the Lions Den?
19:12 Not a single hand went up.
19:14 Just as she launched into the story of Daniel and the
19:18 Lion's Den, the scream came again.
19:21 And I said, I can't, I can't focus.
19:24 I don't know how they could focus and block it out.
19:27 And so I said, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
19:30 What's wrong? Who's screaming?
19:33 Do they need help?
19:35 They kind of rolled their eyes, and looked at each other,
19:38 and they said, Oh, that's Amber.
19:41 We'll call her that.
19:42 That's not her real name.
19:43 She's been in and out of jail before. She's crazy.
19:47 Amber, Amber? I kept trying to think about it.
19:51 Where had I heard the name Amber before?
19:53 And then it hit me, she'd been in jail before.
19:57 I remembered her. She came to our Bible study.
20:00 But what had happened?
20:02 Why was she coming back to jail again?
20:05 The study continued, and I have to admit my mind was not very
20:09 focused on the study.
20:10 Because all I could think about was Amber, and would they let
20:13 us go pray with her?
20:15 Many times when we come into jail, we walk in,
20:19 we do our study, we walk out.
20:22 They don't let us wander the halls.
20:24 They don't let us go visit people in cells.
20:27 It's very strict, and so I didn't know if they
20:30 would let us do that.
20:31 We said goodbye to the girls.
20:32 I walked up to the guards desk and I said, Hey, I wondered,
20:37 is there any chance you would let me go visit Amber?
20:40 He looked tired. Amber, he said, She's probably been
20:44 in and out fifteen times.
20:47 She no sooner gets out and she gets picked up again.
20:51 He said, She's ruined her mind with bath salts.
20:56 Sure, you can go pray with her.
20:59 And so I started walking, walking down the corridor,
21:03 and he followed behind me, hand on the gun at his belt.
21:08 Before we even got to the window,
21:11 Amber stepped up to the glass and she said, Hey lady,
21:14 come over here. I want to talk to you.
21:17 And so I stepped up and I said, Hi Amber.
21:19 My name is Jill. I came to talk with you,
21:22 if that's okay with you.
21:24 So we made small talk; had a pretty good discussion.
21:29 And then I said, I'd love to pray with you,
21:32 if that's okay with you.
21:35 She began to get agitated.
21:37 I don't need prayer.
21:39 I don't want prayer.
21:40 Then she stepped right up to the glass.
21:43 There's a glass window in the door there in
21:46 solitary confinement.
21:48 She stepped right up to the glass.
21:51 She said, Oh lady, look at your teeth.
21:53 You have pretty teeth.
21:56 And I said, Oh Amber, I'm sorry I can't give you my teeth.
22:01 But I'd love to pray with you.
22:04 No, no, no, she said.
22:07 I don't want prayer.
22:08 Oh, but your teeth!
22:10 Look at your teeth!
22:11 That's what I want; teeth like that.
22:15 Amber, I said, We can talk to the God of the universe.
22:20 Look at those teeth!
22:22 Tears filled my eyes, and I turned away.
22:27 We could have talked to the Creator God, the God of the
22:32 universe, the God who can do anything,
22:36 and all she wanted was my teeth.
22:40 Later that night as I drove home, I thought of the
22:46 tremendous gift she had cast aside.
22:49 It wasn't purposeful.
22:51 She simply had no idea of the power of our King.
22:58 And then in the recesses of my mind, in the quietness of my
23:03 heart God reminded me that I, too, have been like Amber.
23:09 I have prayed for teeth.
23:14 Haven't I desired advice from people, but neglected to seek
23:21 my Father who says, If you lack wisdom, just come to Me.
23:25 Haven't I trembled with fear instead of seeking His face?
23:30 When have I had not because I asked not?
23:37 I don't know about you.
23:39 I don't know in your life, have you been praying for teeth?
23:44 Are you settling for second best when God says,
23:49 I love you. I made you.
23:52 I have a plan for your life.
23:55 I long to bring you deliverance from your bitterness,
24:01 from your unforgiveness, from the pain that just hangs on your
24:07 chest, or constricts your shoulders.
24:09 I want to bring you forgiveness.
24:12 I want to pour My forgiveness into your life so that you can
24:16 extend it to others, so that you can go, and if you have hurt,
24:20 if you have wronged someone else, can go and ask
24:24 for forgiveness from them.
24:26 When have we had not, because we ask not?
24:30 Come to the Lord Jesus.
24:31 Ask, ask for His forgiveness, ask for His cleansing,
24:36 ask that He would pour His forgiveness into your life,
24:40 so that you could extend it to others.
24:43 We're going to take a short break here.
24:45 We want to do a practical application, something that you
24:49 can take with you, something that you can do this week
24:53 that will help you on this journey.
24:55 In our next program we're going to discuss fear.
24:58 All of those aspects of fear, and what God wants
25:01 to do in our lives.


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Revised 2016-05-02