Participants: Pr. William Lee (Host), Brandon Dent, Muta Mwenya, Colin King
Series Code: FGO
Program Code: FGO000004
|
00:01 Welcome to For Guys Only,
00:02 a program that deals with topics 00:05 specifically geared for the urban man. 00:08 I'm Pastor William Lee, 00:09 I'm so excited that you have joined us on today. 00:12 Listen, today we're gonna talk about men are from Mars, 00:16 men are from Mars. 00:18 We know the opposite side of that. 00:19 I encouraging you to stay tuned as we go into our broadcast. 00:39 Welcome, gentlemen, once again. 00:40 It is so good to have you all 00:43 back for another fantastic episode. 00:45 As always we're gonna begin our episode today, 00:48 our program today with just a word of prayer. 00:50 So, Muta, may I ask you to pray for us? 00:52 Sure. Let's bow our heads. 00:53 Our Father, God, 00:55 we just thank You for bringing us 00:56 and giving us this opportunity 00:58 to just sit as men 00:59 and discuss some of the things that affect us, 01:02 Lord, let Your Holy Spirit may be with us 01:04 and guide this conversation to Your honor and glory 01:08 in Christ name we pray, amen. 01:09 Amen. Good. 01:11 Kind of want to just introduce ourselves 01:13 in case this is one of the first times 01:15 that our viewers is watching the program. 01:18 So let's just give a short synopsis of ourselves. 01:21 Let's start with you, Brandon. 01:23 Yes, I'm Brandon Dent. I am a retired auto executive. 01:27 And I am... 01:30 I've been married some 27 years now. 01:34 I probably should give that specific 01:36 for my wife who is watching. 01:39 So I think that might qualify me 01:41 to participate in this particular episode. 01:43 All right, good. Sure. 01:45 I'm Colin King, I'm a clinical psychologist. 01:48 I have two children 01:49 and I've been married for the last, 01:52 I believe, 21 years. 01:55 I've been in practice. 01:57 I've been an adjunct professor at Wayne State, 01:59 EMU and another local university, 02:02 and I'm happy to be here. 02:03 Okay, good. 02:05 My name is Muta Mwenya 02:06 and I am executive director for Elijah3 Ministries. 02:09 I have been married for seven years, 02:12 I've got two children. 02:13 And I'm originally from Lusaka, Zambia in Africa. 02:17 And I'm very happy to be here. 02:19 Okay, good. 02:20 And, of course, I'm Pastor William Lee, 02:22 pastor in the Lake Region Conference 02:23 of Seventh-day Adventists 02:25 and just excited about what God is doing. 02:28 I'm married for seven years as well with two children. 02:31 All right, come on, let's kind of get into our conversation, 02:33 say, men are from Mars. 02:37 We're just gonna break that down a little bit. 02:38 And I always like to go to you, Dr. King, being again, 02:42 the clinical psychologist to kind of help us understand, 02:45 you know, men communicate differently from women. 02:48 Of course, the Bible even tells us 02:51 in Genesis Chapter 1, 02:53 which I'll read in verse number 27. 02:56 It's absolutely clear that God made us different. 02:59 So the Word of God says, 03:00 "So God created man in his own image, 03:03 in the image of God created he him, 03:06 male and female created he them." 03:10 So God... 03:12 Of course, we know that God created a male, 03:13 God created a female, 03:15 but let's kind of break it down 03:16 and talk about the differences between men and women. 03:19 Yes, there are some fundamental differences 03:23 that we have observed. 03:25 Why does a woman go to the mall and spend 10 hours shopping, 03:30 comes back home with nothing? 03:35 And a guy will go to the mall, 03:38 he spends 10 minutes 03:40 and he comes back home with a whole bag 03:43 filled with electrical drills and measuring tapes, 03:47 and so on and so forth. 03:49 Why would a woman want to have a full-scale conversation 03:53 at 2 o'clock in the morning? 03:55 It makes no sense to me at all. 03:57 So there's some fundamental differences 04:00 just based on our anecdotal observations, 04:05 but at the very core we're different. 04:08 We're very, very different. 04:09 I've got a couple of models here 04:11 that I just wanted to assure you 04:13 in terms of how we are just designed differently. 04:19 This is a model of the human brain. 04:23 You know, it's... 04:26 The brain is a very small, 04:29 tight organ that is housed in a very tight box, 04:34 not a whole lot of room to move around. 04:36 And as you can see, 04:37 it's sort of designed in two hemispheres. 04:41 You can see this line coming right down the middle, 04:43 so this is the left hemisphere 04:45 and this is the right hemisphere. 04:47 And in here, 04:49 there's roughly about 100 million neurons 04:55 and over a trillion connections. 04:59 Here's one fundamental difference, 05:02 men have more neurons than women. 05:05 The neurons are tightly packed together. 05:08 Women have fewer neurons, but they have more connections. 05:14 Fundamental difference, men tend to be more left brain, 05:18 women tend to be more dual brain, 05:21 so they have sort of like a dual core processor. 05:24 Okay, okay. 05:25 And, you know, we have... 05:27 I mean, we use both sides of our brain, 05:29 but we are more left-sided processor. 05:34 And that's why 05:35 a woman can quickly access information 05:39 from her brain 05:40 because she's using that dual core processing thing. 05:45 And that's why 05:46 I had a very interesting experience. 05:48 Just last week, 05:50 I had to meet with a female to plan for an upcoming event. 05:56 And she was sitting 05:58 with nearly about 15 other people. 06:00 And everyone was talking at the same time. 06:02 And she said to me, 06:04 "Can you come over here 06:05 because we need to discuss the upcoming meeting?" 06:07 And I said, "No, I can't do it." 06:08 I said, 06:09 "There was no way 06:11 I can sit in that stimulating environment 06:14 and have a discussion with you." 06:15 Then she said, 06:16 "What's your problem? I'm perfectly fine with it." 06:18 So just at the very fundamental level 06:22 they can access information faster than we can. 06:26 Additionally, 06:28 here's another fundamental difference. 06:31 You know, this is sort of a model of the brain. 06:34 You know, this is the frontal lobe, 06:36 we've got a temporal lobe, 06:38 you know, the brain is divided into five different lobes. 06:43 Women have a larger limbic system. 06:47 And our limbic system 06:49 is what houses our emotional well-being. 06:53 It's the part of us 06:54 that makes us cry or laugh or enjoy a good movie. 07:00 The limbic system 07:03 or it's contained in the corpus callosum, 07:06 but it is larger in a woman than in a man. 07:10 And that's why a woman is better able 07:14 to access emotional content faster than a guy. 07:19 So just by nature, 07:21 women are more emotional 07:23 because they have a larger limbic system, 07:26 a larger bonding system. 07:28 And that's why a mother can bond quickly 07:32 with a newborn baby, 07:34 not just because she just gave birth to that child, 07:37 but because she has a larger limbic system. 07:41 And that's why a woman can cry 07:43 at the opening of a grocery store. 07:44 And you're like, 07:46 "What's your problem?" 07:47 Like, why would you do that? 07:50 It is because they have a larger limbic system. 07:53 And I can come back 07:54 to some of these fundamental differences, 07:56 but just to kind of set up this discussion. 07:58 Okay, okay. 07:59 Wow, that's very interesting. 08:03 Even to the point that, you know, 08:05 sitting here and listening to your discussion, 08:06 I feel that, you know, I'm step behind. 08:09 My processor is not as fluid as even my wife, so to speak. 08:14 You know, there are some basic fundamental differences 08:16 that I can see from the beginning 08:17 or from just basic that men seem to communicate 08:20 different from women. 08:21 I mean, it is this basic thing. 08:23 You know, when wife says something, 08:25 you know, I hear but, 08:26 you know... 08:28 We're different. We're different. 08:30 Talk about communication, 08:32 you know, how we communicate differently, 08:34 you know, men and women? 08:36 Well, to begin with women speak more often than men. 08:40 You know, it is estimated that 08:43 a woman speaks approximately 20,000 words a day, 08:47 a guy speaks about 7,000 words a day. 08:49 So they outnumber us three to one. 08:52 And that's why when you come home from work 08:55 and you're tired, 08:56 you don't want to have conversation, 08:58 because you've already spoken your 7,000 words, 09:01 and that's why your wife or your girlfriend 09:03 wants to continue talking into the night. 09:06 Exhaust 10,000 words... 09:07 Exactly. 09:10 Also, men speak for report. 09:14 How was your day, 09:16 this is what happened, the car broke down, 09:18 what's happened at the office, da-da-da... 09:20 And then you will finish. 09:21 Woman speaks for rapport. 09:24 Once again that whole bonding system. 09:28 So when they're talking to you it's not necessarily because 09:31 you're looking for a report, 09:33 you're looking to build rapport. 09:36 And so that's why 09:37 when they tell you certain things, 09:39 you don't quite understand what it is that you're telling, 09:43 but they expect you to understand 09:44 what they're telling you. 09:46 I don't want anything for my birthday 09:48 which is coming up in a month, 09:50 you know, I don't want anything. 09:51 What you're saying is that you better be prepared. 09:54 Do something because I'm telling you. 09:57 So those are some fundamental differences also. 09:58 But, you know, 10:00 I want to bring in the other guys 10:01 in this certainly. 10:03 Yeah, okay. No, it's funny. 10:04 As you were talking I started laughing, 10:05 because when my wife is telling me a story, 10:09 she always goes into detail 10:11 and starts telling me names of people I had no clue. 10:14 You work with them, I don't. 10:17 So Suzy did this. 10:18 Who is Suzy? 10:20 Where did she come from? 10:22 And it's something that 10:24 adds a little frustration sometimes 10:26 because I'm on the go, I want her to get to the point, 10:29 and she's busy telling me the background story. 10:32 Just tell me, 10:33 honey, just tell me exactly what you're trying to say. 10:36 And I find that, so you're right. 10:40 I'm ready to just get to the point, 10:42 tell me what it is, 10:43 and let's move on 10:44 while she's giving me everything 10:47 and everyone first of all. 10:49 I'm even worse than that. 10:51 Not only do I want the bottom line 10:52 it's because I'm anticipating that 10:54 there's something there I can fix. 10:56 I want to give. 10:58 Right, right. Yeah. 10:59 So I like missing two bolts. 11:01 Right. Wow, wow, wow. 11:03 And let's kind of break it down even more, 11:05 so I bought the emotional side as well, 11:07 because and you rightly said at the beginning that women, 11:10 you know, 11:11 they can cry 11:12 at the opening of a grocery store. 11:14 And, you know, a male looks at it and says, 11:16 "You know, what it is? It's not that deep, 11:17 you know, it's just this, it's not that." 11:19 You know, even with problems, 11:21 you know, in our basic relationships. 11:22 You know, sometimes we can see it, 11:24 you know, a whole lot deeper than we see it. 11:26 You know, how do we kind of balance this emotional side 11:32 if men have a deficit that is, 11:33 what can we do to try to understand 11:39 our spouses, our girlfriends? 11:41 Well, it's actually sort of a double deficit. 11:45 Because to begin with 11:46 we have a smaller bonding system. 11:49 So just on the physiological level, 11:52 we are not capable of being emotionally stirred 11:58 like the women are. 12:00 So we already starting with a minus, 12:01 if you want to call it a minus. 12:03 And then we are socialized not to behave emotionally. 12:08 So it's sort of a double whammy going on. 12:11 And as guys we need to recognize that. 12:14 And so we need to work on the deficits that we have 12:19 and we need to understand that if the woman, 12:22 the girl is emotional 12:24 over some content, some incident, 12:28 we cannot dismiss it, because we are not feeling it. 12:32 We have to learn to tune in and we have to learn to feel, 12:37 and you know how we don't like to feel. 12:40 So we have to work on that part of us. 12:43 Okay. 12:44 It's sort of like working on a PhD, Pastor. 12:47 I know every day that you have something to do toward that in. 12:51 You're not always energized and ready to go for it, 12:54 but you discipline yourself 12:55 and you do many things that are not natural 12:59 that you don't always feel like doing, 13:01 because the desired outcome has a great value. 13:06 And that's how we've got to get in our relationships. 13:08 It may not be natural for me 13:10 to sit and hear all the story behind the story, 13:13 it may not be natural for me 13:15 to not jump in and try to come up with some fixes 13:19 that are not warranted. 13:21 But if I value the relationship, 13:24 then what I, you know, getting the understanding, 13:27 appreciating our differences 13:28 and understanding that 13:30 she has a different set of needs. 13:32 I should value the relationship 13:34 so that I discipline myself, right? 13:36 Now it sounds all great and good. 13:40 Am I perfect at that? No. 13:42 But now that I know 13:43 I have something that I can shoot for that 13:45 I can work on day by day, moment by moment. 13:51 And that makes all the difference in the world 13:54 when you're trying, 'cause that's all... 13:56 That's what we can do as sinful man. 13:59 Okay. 14:00 And you want to keep in mind 14:01 that all that the woman needs is just the knowledge 14:04 that you are trying. 14:07 They know that you're not capable. 14:10 They just want to know that you're trying. 14:13 You know, I'm a clinical psychologist 14:16 and I know better. 14:17 I know these things. 14:18 It doesn't make it easier for me. 14:20 You know, I like, Muta, tell me the bottom line. 14:24 I'm thinking, don't waste my time, 14:27 just tell me the bottom line. 14:29 And that can lead into a lot of problems. 14:32 Brandon just mentioned something 14:34 about problem solving. 14:36 When a female brings an issue to you 14:39 and, you know, I don't want to steal your thunder at all. 14:42 So we immediately look for solutions, 14:47 immediately, because we're thinking 14:49 that's what we're supposed to do. 14:52 But a lot of times that's not what they want. 14:54 They simply want you to sit and listen 14:55 to what they're saying. 14:57 And then when it's done, 14:58 they walk away and say thank you. 15:00 For what, I haven't done anything? 15:01 You didn't solve. You didn't solve the problem. 15:03 It's worse for me, 15:04 'cause I have two engineering degrees. 15:06 I have a bachelor's degree 15:07 and a master's degree in engineering. 15:09 So I have a greater propensity, 15:12 probably than other men 15:14 to want to solve problems, to want to design solutions. 15:19 So I got a double bend. 15:21 Maybe I can come and take your appointment. 15:25 I think we all need to get appointment. 15:28 Physician heal thyself. 15:32 Sure, sure, sure. 15:33 Let's go back to communication, 15:34 because I think this is, 15:36 you know, some of the crux of 15:37 sometimes we find difficulty and find problems 15:40 where men communicate differently than women, 15:42 of course. 15:43 And the basic example is that in that times, 15:45 you know, the woman might say, 15:47 she may walk by the trashcan or something and say, 15:50 "Wow, you know, 15:51 it's overflowing today that, you know, 15:53 the garbage is coming out the trashcan." 15:54 And we may say something like, 15:56 "Oh, it is, really? That's more a clump." 15:58 And she clearly, you know, 16:00 communicated to, you know, to us 16:02 that, okay, hey, you know, it's time to change it. 16:05 But why does that happen and how do we... 16:09 And then you kind of spoke about before, 16:11 you've got to be intentional 16:12 about trying to change but help us understand, 16:14 you know, what can we do as men 16:16 knowing that we are different than women? 16:20 Well, at a fundamental level, 16:24 we have to accept the fact 16:26 that we are fundamentally different. 16:27 Okay. 16:29 The woman is not behaving weird or funny, 16:33 she's different. 16:35 And so once we understand that, 16:37 then we've got to make a conscious decision now, 16:40 what am I going to do with her differences, 16:43 how am I going to tune in, 16:45 so that we can complement each other. 16:49 And a huge part of that 16:51 is listening and paying attention. 16:55 And the reason why some men say that 16:57 their wives or girlfriends are nags. 17:00 It is because they have to say 17:01 the same thing over and over and over again, 17:04 because we are not listening. 17:08 We may hear what they're saying, 17:10 but we are not listening to what they're saying. 17:12 And one good way to kind of test that 17:15 is when, for instance, 17:18 oh, the trash is overflowing today. 17:20 Whoa, 17:21 you know, we may think that 17:25 the wife is saying take the trash out. 17:27 So, you know, immediately 17:29 we want to pick it up and take it out. 17:31 The better thing to do is to, 17:34 you know, respond, tell me some more. 17:36 You know, like, 17:37 what do you mean it's overflowing? 17:39 You mean, it wasn't overflowing last week. 17:41 You know, reflect what they're asking 17:44 and try to tune in to what they say 17:46 because they'll be talking about 17:47 something totally different. 17:49 Wow. 17:50 And you were totally clueless, 17:51 because you were hearing, 17:53 but you're not listening to what they're saying. 17:55 Wow, wow. 17:57 I mean, as I listen to that, I will find myself okay, 17:59 go and get it done. 18:00 You're right. Right, right. 18:01 'Cause that's what she wants, but it'll be something else. 18:03 Right. 18:04 Oh, you know, she may be thinking, 18:06 well, you know, the trash is overflowing, 18:08 however 18:09 the laundry is more important right now. 18:11 So I would prefer if you help me with the laundry 18:14 and we can do the trash later, 18:16 because garbage day is not until Thursday. 18:19 But we don't know that. 18:20 We assume we know 18:22 what she means by saying that the trash is overflowing. 18:25 So we've got to learn to listen more 18:27 and to ask questions. 18:29 Okay. 18:30 I think you're right, being attentive is real big. 18:34 Recent experience that just happened, 18:35 my wife comes in... 18:37 She left in the morning, 18:38 I stayed up late 18:40 to go drop off my son at school. 18:41 She comes in and, 18:43 you know, I'm groggy, and she goes, 18:45 "The truck was empty." 18:48 "Okay. So did you fill it?" 18:51 "Yes, I did." 18:53 "So why are you telling me, 18:54 you know, you got it done, didn't you?" 18:57 I have to be attentive, 18:58 I need you to take care of these things. 19:00 These little things. 19:01 Check if my truck is empty, 19:03 you know, make sure that it's filled up. 19:05 So when I leave in the morning, 19:06 I don't have to stop in the cold 19:08 and pick up and get that. 19:09 And then another thing is 19:11 when the dishes need to be cleaned. 19:14 Oh, man, I need to do the dishes. 19:17 So you go up and you start doing the dishes. 19:18 And she says, 19:19 "Well, I don't need you to do the dishes. 19:21 I'm doing it." 19:22 "Well, I thought you told me 19:24 'cause you wanted me to do the dishes." 19:25 "No, I just wanted you to be in the room with me." 19:27 Exactly. 19:28 So I mean, 19:30 it's just about learning the opposite sex, 19:33 learning what are these cues 19:35 and learning exactly what to look for. 19:38 Okay. 19:39 You know, one of my favorite writers, 19:42 gospel writers, 19:44 lady by the name of Ellen White 19:46 wrote something that was very powerful for me. 19:49 She said, 19:50 "We should not desire that our spouses be more like us, 19:54 because if they were, we would get along even less." 19:59 Wow. 20:00 So put two people 20:02 who want to always do the same thing, 20:05 be the same thing to a listener needs a talker, 20:08 a talker needs a listener, 20:11 someone who is very dependent 20:13 needs someone who is independent, 20:16 you know, if you is dependent as I am, I don't feel secure. 20:18 So what do I need with you? 20:20 But it's interesting, 20:21 'cause a lot of times 20:23 that will fools us into thinking that 20:24 we actually need the person to be more like us 20:28 in order for us to get along. 20:29 Well, the reality is we're not consistent. 20:33 So if you and I are the same, 20:37 there's no guarantee that we won't be in the same place 20:40 at any given point in time. 20:42 You know, 20:43 how often have you been strong on an issue A 20:46 and then just flip on that 20:48 as you learn more and live more like? 20:49 Well, that person's trek through life 20:52 is not gonna be exactly the same as yours. 20:54 So at some point in time 20:55 you're gonna find a sink anyway. 20:57 It's at that point 20:59 that the sameness works against you. 21:02 So if you want long-term success 21:03 in your relationship, 21:04 you shouldn't ask for your spouse 21:07 to be just like you. 21:09 That will be a formula for catastrophe. 21:11 Wow. Absolutely. 21:12 I want to go back to this dual processing issue 21:17 and how critical it is. 21:19 You know, as I mentioned before, 21:22 women are able to kind of process 21:24 and retrieve information from both hemispheres. 21:27 And us guys, you know, we can barely hang on to one, 21:29 you know, we have a standard joke, 21:31 if a guy is driving and the radio is on, 21:34 and he gets lost, 21:35 what is the first thing he has to do? 21:37 He has to turn the radio down or off, 21:40 because he can't attend to two stimuli, 21:43 two competing stimuli at the same time. 21:46 And because of a woman's ability 21:48 to kind of multiprocess, 21:51 they have what is called intuition, 21:54 better than what we can ever hope to have. 21:57 And that's why 21:59 if you go shopping with your wife or girlfriend, 22:02 and you walk into a car dealership and, 22:05 you know, you're the guy, you're the engineer, you know, 22:07 you know about cars and whatever and whatever. 22:09 And, of course, that's not her training, 22:12 but she may just say to you, 22:13 "You know what? No, no." 22:16 And then you may go, 22:17 "Why? It is a good deal. 22:19 Why? 22:20 You know, I'm the man, I need to make this decision." 22:22 And she may say, 22:23 "You know what? 22:25 No, I don't have a reason for it." 22:26 As guys, we need to learn to tune into that. 22:29 Wow. 22:30 That is priceless. Wow. 22:32 That is priceless. That's true. 22:33 Definitely. 22:34 Yeah, it's how you throw 22:36 that feeling just deep down inside. 22:37 She is picking up the integrity of the selves. 22:38 Absolutely, absolutely. 22:42 You know what? That is a blessing. 22:44 Because, you know, as you said before, Brandon, 22:46 you know, we sometimes we want to make someone just like us. 22:49 But as the Bible clearly says again, 22:52 Genesis 1:27 that God made us male and female. 22:56 Absolutely. He made us different. 22:59 And our differences really should be celebrated. 23:02 We should really look at that in a good light 23:04 and as a blessing. 23:06 Speaking of, again, the Bible, how does that translate, 23:09 how does that look, you know, differences, 23:10 you know, as it relates to spirituality, 23:12 and even the church? 23:14 We are different, of course, men worship, 23:17 you know, a little bit more, you know, reserved. 23:20 Sometimes when they come to church, 23:21 sometimes we don't, you know, cry as much. 23:24 How does that, you know, 23:25 work out as it relates to our walk with God? 23:31 The man being from Mars and women, 23:33 you know, as has been said from Venus, 23:35 how does that relate? 23:37 Even as I try to look at it for myself as a pastor, 23:39 you know, as I communicate the gospel that, 23:42 you know, men are gonna pick up on certain things, 23:44 as I communicate the gospel, 23:46 and women are gonna pick up on other things, you know? 23:49 And the challenge that, 23:50 you know, as I'm thinking right now, 23:52 how can I bring it together? 23:53 Sure. 23:55 You know, I think it behooves you and us 23:58 to always try to include both genders. 24:02 You know, within our church or church tend 24:05 sometimes to be more male dominated. 24:08 Okay. 24:10 And even in church board meetings, 24:12 in building committees, and planning, 24:14 and so on and so forth 24:16 we need to take a step back 24:18 and make certain 24:20 that we can benefit from the difference 24:22 that a woman brings to the table 24:26 in terms of planning the church service, 24:29 in terms of organizing activities, 24:31 in terms of developing programs 24:35 for single people 24:37 or married people in the church. 24:39 We must make certain 24:40 that we have a very balanced perspective. 24:42 Okay. 24:44 If not, we're gonna go wrong. 24:45 We're gonna make some very bad mistakes. 24:47 Okay, okay. 24:48 I know, by nature, I'm a strategic thinker, 24:52 a big picture, strategic thinker. 24:55 All through my career I've always had people 24:57 who can then distill those ideas, 25:00 instruct to put them into some real practical place. 25:04 My wife is an implementer. 25:07 She is a type of personal coordinator 25:12 takes the dream and brings it to life. 25:14 So you can imagine, 25:16 when we are able to appreciate our differences 25:19 and work together, particularly in ministry, 25:23 then God's ministry is that much more effective. 25:26 Okay, okay, that's good. 25:29 That's good. 25:30 As we talk about, you know, this difference that we have, 25:33 you know, men thinking different, 25:35 men being emotionally different. 25:39 As we think about, you know, our children as well, 25:41 as they grow up, what can we tell, 25:44 you know, those who are growing, 25:47 you know, so that they don't go down the same road 25:50 and make some of the same mistakes 25:52 that we make as men now, 25:54 as relates to our differences? 25:57 You know, and we will talk about domestic violence, 26:00 you know, we will talk about abuse 26:02 later on in our broadcast, 26:04 but what can we say to our sons 26:06 and what can we say to our daughters 26:08 is that, because the person is different 26:12 or doesn't see eye-to-eye, 26:13 doesn't mean that 26:15 you have to impose your will on that person, 26:18 doesn't mean that you have to become 26:19 verbally aggressive, 26:21 doesn't mean that you have to become 26:23 physically aggressive. 26:25 We need to mentor them and teach them 26:26 to celebrate the differences. 26:29 You know, don't teardown, build up, 26:31 you know, celebrate those differences. 26:33 You know, that's good. 26:35 Because I think that so many times 26:36 that we want to put people in a box, 26:38 you know, men do this, women do that. 26:41 And heard a story about, you know, 26:44 a kid that was coloring outside the lines 26:46 and he was coloring, 26:48 you know, all over the place. 26:49 And the teacher will always tell him, you know, 26:51 listen, you know, 26:52 you have to do it exactly this way, 26:54 stay within the box. 26:57 And the kid, now he will listen to teacher, 26:58 but every now and then, you know, he will go outside, 27:00 he enjoyed that. 27:01 And the point was is that 27:03 sometimes those who color outside the box 27:07 are the most creative. 27:09 You know, they're able to see things 27:10 from a different perspective. 27:12 And there's a man that has maybe lived his life 27:14 outside of the box 27:16 where you have not, you know, 27:19 there's a difference between the man and the woman, 27:20 you know, that always done things 27:22 exactly the same way as we said before, 27:24 because we are different in God's eyesight. 27:26 We don't have to, you know, be afraid, 27:29 but we do have to be intentional, 27:30 though that we can understand both sides 27:33 and be able to operate at a level 27:35 that God would have us to. 27:37 And celebrate our differences. 27:39 Absolutely, celebrate our differences. 27:40 Good. 27:42 We've about just 20 seconds left. 27:43 Any last comment or anything that you want to? 27:45 Well, my advice to all men is let the strong one lead. 27:49 If your wife is different, and better at something, 27:53 let her lead. 27:54 Wow, wow. 27:56 This has been absolutely a great conversation. 27:59 I pray that you are richly blessed from it. 28:00 I challenge you to be active 28:02 and to listen 28:04 and to know that God will be with you 28:06 every step of the way. 28:07 Until next time For Guys Only, 28:09 I'm Pastor William Lee. 28:10 Thank you so much for joining us on today. |
Revised 2020-12-10