Participants: Alanzo & June Smith
Series Code: FFH
Program Code: FFH00007B
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00:01 Welcome back, you have been watching Families 4 Heaven.
00:07 Alanzo: we have been discussing the positive side 00:11 of self efficacy. 00:14 We need to help you understand what are some of the signs or 00:20 symptoms of people who are suffering poor self-efficacy? 00:26 These are individuals who see themselves as unattractive. 00:32 They don't feel good about themselves. 00:35 They are worthless, they are stupid, and they conjecture 00:39 these feelings about themselves because they don't feel 00:43 good about themselves. 00:45 Encompassed with that is their inability to accept compliments 00:51 simply because they don't believe the person who is 00:56 telling them. 00:57 So you go up to a person and say, Wow you look really nice! 01:01 They will say, oh, come on, this is my old dress. 01:05 They discount the affirmation simply because they can't 01:10 bring themselves to accept that they do look nice. 01:13 These individuals have a fear, a fear of rejection by others. 01:19 So they over compensate, they will take on every task that 01:24 is given, they don't know how to say no. 01:28 They simply do not want someone to reject them, 01:32 they just have this fear and they end up being 01:36 people pleasers. 01:39 They have to try to be on the good side of everyone no matter 01:43 the cost, no matter the consequence. 01:46 Now some people with poor self-efficacy have a fear of not 01:51 being accepted or be liked by others. 01:54 So they will go out of their way to expand their strengths 02:00 or to do things they are not even capable of doing simply 02:05 because they have to accommodate everyone, and that sometimes 02:10 puts an extra burden on them. 02:12 They are not able to honestly say, I'd love to respond or 02:18 I'd love to do this task that you asking me, but I don't 02:23 have the time because I have to study, or have to go to work, 02:26 or some legitimate reason why they can't. 02:29 But they will say yes nevertheless, and at the same 02:33 time destroy the things that they have to do 02:37 in the way they should. 02:38 Let us focus now on how an individual might 02:44 develop self-efficacy. 02:47 How you can believe in yourself, your value. 02:50 Who you are created in the image of God. 02:54 Build yourself up, spend quality time doing the things you have, 03:00 that you get pleasure from. 03:02 As you do that, you will begin to feel better about yourself. 03:07 You will include your friends and your family, and also 03:09 the people who enjoy the things they bring you pleasure as well. 03:13 Face your fears, we all have challenges, we all have tasks 03:18 that we have to do. 03:20 Tasks that sometimes seem impossible. 03:25 Whatever it is that you are fearful of, the best thing to do 03:29 is to face it. 03:30 When you face trials and obstacles or whatever it is, 03:34 you will overcome it and it feels so good about yourself. 03:38 Their are times you are going to fail, it might be an exam, 03:42 it might be at a job you are asked to do. 03:45 It might be at some request that you attempted that didn't 03:51 come out the way you wanted. 03:52 But you know, failure is an event, it is not a person. 03:57 So brush it off, get up and try again. 04:01 Many people who succeed and who eventually get acclimated 04:06 in life were people who tried and tried and kept trying. 04:11 So never quit, there is light at the end of the tunnel, 04:16 and it is not the train coming. 04:18 Do something that you have been putting off. 04:21 Some of you have tasks, unfulfilled tasks. 04:25 Dreams, goals, some of you want to go back to college. 04:29 Take a course, learn a skill. 04:31 Maybe a smaller task to be accomplished, but you have been 04:36 putting it off and putting it off. 04:38 Do it, go do it and see how you will feel good about yourself. 04:42 Know what you want and go for it. 04:45 Know what you want and ask for it. 04:48 You might be in a job and think you need a raise, 04:52 or you think you should be given a promotion, 04:56 don't just sit there and say it to yourself, 05:00 make an appointment, go talk to your boss, talk to your 05:04 supervisor, get your facts explain to them that I have 05:08 been on this job for a while and I've done XYZ. 05:11 These are the things I have accomplished, I believe I am 05:15 of value to this organization and I think I am due a raise. 05:19 You would be surprised, your boss might be floored and 05:24 will honor your request simply because you are courageous 05:29 enough, and you show confidence. 05:31 They are looking for people to augment their firms or 05:35 institutions who have confidence in themselves. 05:38 So go for it. 05:40 We are talking about self- efficacy and knowing who you are 05:45 We are challenging individuals on how to develop self-efficacy. 05:52 The notion of giving yourself a treat, is there anything wrong 05:58 in once in a while taking care of yourself and 06:02 treating yourself? 06:04 Some people feel, no I can't do that, I shouldn't do it. 06:06 I feel guilty, should we? 06:09 I would say once in a while, I would say all the time. 06:12 Take care of yourself. 06:14 If you don't take care of yourself, nobody else will. 06:18 People will value you based on the value you place on yourself. 06:23 So take the time to build yourself, what ever your 06:27 challenges are, work at it. 06:30 What ever you are good at exercise your talents. 06:33 Volunteer your services, develop your skills and your potential. 06:37 Expand your horizons. 06:39 One of the things we need to do is you stop making negative 06:46 statements about ourselves. 06:48 Negative statements don't enhance your sense of self. 06:53 But what you think and what you say, that is how you believe. 06:57 We have been talking about self-efficacy. 07:02 We have been encouraging individuals to develop 07:06 their best potential. 07:07 What would you say to a young person out there listening 07:11 to you right now, give them a little message of hope 07:16 in believing who they are. 07:18 I would say you are potential, you are possibility, 07:23 you can be whatever you want to be, yes you can! 07:28 Above all, put your hand in the hand of God. 07:33 The same thing He said to Jeremiah, He is saying to you. 07:38 Before you were born, before you were formed, I knew you. 07:43 I have appointed you for something special. 07:45 You are special, believe it or not you are special. 07:49 Why? because you came from the hand of the mighty God. 07:53 Trust in divine power and let God lead your life. 07:57 Don't depend on people to define who you are. 08:01 Remember God has already defined who you are. 08:05 Thank you for watching Families 4 Heaven. |
Revised 2014-12-17