Participants: Alanzo & June Smith
Series Code: FFH
Program Code: FFH00006A
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00:04 With each new day families are failing, homes are broken.
00:09 Marriages are threatened, fathers are absent. 00:13 Children are rebellious but all is not lost. 00:17 Homes can be healed and hearts can be mended. 00:21 Let's reclaim our Families 4 Heaven. 00:32 Thank you for watching Families For Heaven. 00:36 I'm Alanzo Smith and my Co-host is June Smith. 00:41 We have been talking about When Tragedy Strikes. 00:45 The Morning After. 00:47 This is our second part interview that we are doing 00:51 with Carter Francis and Booty Francis. 00:55 Welcome again, please help me to welcome them one more time. 01:01 If you recall, in part one, Carter related to us a tragic 01:07 mishap that took place with his wife one Sunday morning in May. 01:14 And how after that crash she was in a coma for six long weeks. 01:21 How many bones did you say were broken? 01:25 Carter: She had broken bone in her arm. 01:29 She had a fractured hip, she had a broken left leg, both knees 01:38 and both ankles were broken. 01:40 and blood flowing from her brain. 01:43 She was bleeding from her brain. 01:45 If you recall, he told us all that he went through 01:50 as she was recovering. 01:53 That's a crises, defined it a as Situational Crises. 01:58 When we have our crises, the question is, what do we do 02:06 with them? 02:07 We want to talk in our second part on the notion of managing 02:13 your crises, managing your crises. 02:16 Dr. June, how does one manage a crises? 02:21 Dr. June: the reality is that not everybody's crises 02:26 will be the same. 02:27 So first you have to determine what are your needs 02:32 right then? 02:33 As you and your family assess your needs, then you must accept 02:39 the facts, you must be able to a sort what the needs of each 02:45 individual, or each unit in that family is. 02:48 Then you have got to stay calm and stay in control. 02:53 You shouldn't panic, although that is the natural response 02:57 for most people. 02:59 Because there is help, because it is a crises you may not see 03:03 the immediate solution or even resolution. 03:07 But there is help and there are people that can help. 03:11 So you must remain calm and stay in a problem-solving mode. 03:17 Now if the outcome is devastating, should you allow 03:22 yourself time to grieve, or is it wrong to grieve? 03:28 The last segment we talked about loss and death. 03:33 We talked about some of the stages people go through. 03:36 And no there is no set time, but when you are going through 03:40 a crises that may result in a loss, whether it is a loss of 03:44 freedom, a loss of capacity, etc, you are going to 03:49 experience emotional pain. 03:51 So one needs to have or allow time to grieve. 03:55 So yes you must acknowledge that this is a reality and give 03:59 yourself time to go through, as you gather support and 04:03 get help from others. 04:06 And especially if this crises it's a life-changing crises. 04:11 Now you have to adjust to those changes. 04:14 So you had your wife, you married her when she was 04:17 how old, if you don't mind sharing that with us? 04:24 Booty: very young. 04:27 She was very young, just a college kid. 04:29 You married her out of College. 04:31 Alanzo: You have enjoyed a life with her and now comes this 04:37 crises, this tragedy. 04:40 Alanzo: Did it change your life or were you able to go back 04:43 to normal living? 04:44 no it has changed our life for ever. 04:49 We were, one of the things we love, our hobby is to travel. 04:56 Booty and I would just come in on a Thursday evening and just 05:02 say we want to go some place for the weekend. 05:04 Then by Friday when we got off work we were gone. 05:08 Sometimes to Florida, sometimes we will come back to New York. 05:12 Sometimes we would go all over the place. 05:15 But that has changed completely. 05:18 Completely, completely, if we are to go anyplace now we have 05:25 to plan and think twice. 05:29 Alanzo: Why is this so? You are not telling me why? 05:34 What has happened to Booty? Why? 05:38 Carter: She is handicapped now. She walks with a walker. 05:42 Even if she has to have a bath and then she has to have 05:47 a special facility for bathing. 05:50 She cannot climb stairs and all those kinds of things. 05:54 So all of those things we have to take into consideration 05:58 before we can visit a friend, before we can go anyplace. 06:03 You know those type of things. 06:04 That has changed our life a whole lot. 06:08 Dr. June: As much as you have described changes physically, 06:11 you said her brain was bleeding, there was fluid. 06:16 The assumption one could make was that she probably had 06:18 left with some brain damage. 06:20 Was that the case? 06:21 No, she has regained about 98% of her memory. Amen! 06:32 And I must say that one of the things they told me at the 06:37 hospital after she came out of the coma, is they were 06:42 not expecting her to come out of the coma. 06:46 If she did she would have been a vegetable for the 06:50 rest of her life. 06:51 So God has miraculously... 06:56 Booty, we're talking about you, and you are sitting there. 07:04 You are the one whose life as been changed. 07:07 Could you talk to us, how life became different for you 07:13 after your consciousness, living your new life now? 07:19 What has changed for you? 07:20 It has changed in that I am not as independent 07:24 as I used to be. 07:25 If I am going anywhere, or planning anything, Carter has 07:30 to be there to go with me, or another friend or family. 07:34 So I have to think about what I am going to do before I 07:39 attempt to do it. 07:40 I plan my days so that I am not bored, because I miss my job. 07:46 I accept that Booty, this is where you are, start from here 07:51 and then you will make it. 07:53 Plus I've gone a lot of counseling. 07:57 Dr. June: Can you tell us, you are professional, you had a very 08:02 active job in the University there where you lived. 08:05 Your life suddenly changed as you describe this experience. 08:10 What adjustment did you make in accepting that reality? 08:16 First my supervisor, he was very close to me and my family. 08:23 In my rehabilitation process, let me go back, allow me, 08:28 because he wanted me to use my wheelchair before to come 08:33 to work, but I told him that would be too easy for me. 08:38 But he insisted that while I'm doing rehab I could come in the 08:44 day and see if I could do something at work. 08:47 So I went there about six weeks, three days per week. 08:52 I started to do what I used to do. 08:56 But then I realized, Booty you are not able to manage it. 09:01 So Carter had to drop me, if I want to go to the job here, 09:06 it has to be with me. 09:09 Is I have to leave, I have to call in anything that happens. 09:13 So I came to myself and I said Booty, you cannot do 09:17 what you use to do. 09:18 Physically, what can you do now? You are at home. 09:27 Do you have to sit and someone get you a glass of water? 09:31 What can you do for yourself? Talk to us a little. 09:34 Many things, I can't cook, well I can cook but I cannot put on 09:41 the pot on the fire or whatever. 09:43 Like I used to do. So what I do we got a computer and I started 09:49 working on the computer. 09:50 I used to collect Poems, so I started, somebody told me 09:57 what you can do is to put up a booklet together. 09:59 Alanzo: Did you do that? 10:01 Yes, I was able to do that. 10:03 Alanzo: is that this one here? 10:05 Alanzo: that's beautiful, it's entitled Collection Of Poems 10:08 And Thoughts by Booty Francis. 10:11 That is powerful, that is wonderful. 10:19 Dr. June: How would you describe your typical day? 10:21 It's like, after I have my breakfast, first of all they had 10:30 to teach me to do everything. 10:31 To make up the bed or whatever I had to do. 10:34 So what I do, I can wash our clothes, sometimes I can iron. 10:40 Then I use the computer a lot. 10:43 I do a lot of work on the computer. 10:47 Alanzo: Very powerful. 10:49 We must take a break now, we want you to stay tuned. 10:52 to continue to talk with these lovely people. 10:54 Thank you! |
Revised 2014-12-17