Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brad Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00090B
00:14 Welcome back, so Brad is saying that I can't forget the fact
00:18 that we are going to talk about some of my issues now.
00:21 I tried to end the show, I tried to say isn't this show a little
00:24 bit long today? But Brad, what is interesting to me is
00:28 that as you even talk about that there is a lot of us like
00:33 we will want our spouse to work on their stuff but
00:35 we can't unless we both, especially if you are married,
00:37 unless you're both going to work on your issues because
00:40 we play off of each other so much.
00:42 Exactly I'm going to speak to the men right now and I will
00:45 look into the camera to do it, speaking to the men.
00:47 Someone has got to blink, it is one of those things like
00:51 oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah and you know it's okay come on
00:54 someone has got to blink.
00:55 And again God expects the man to blink, I really believe
00:58 that to be the case and you do it from a position of
01:01 strength and compassion and caring and suddenly the
01:04 woman's heart will soften as well as your heart softens.
01:07 What's amazing to me because you do that a lot now,
01:11 I could be dead wrong about something, just acting like
01:17 a fool and you will just say I love you, did I hurt your
01:22 feelings, what did you just hear me say?
01:25 So that's the blinking and it's not about who's right or
01:28 wrong, it's whoever actually sees it and can step into
01:31 that, and what an incredible thing.
01:34 As you do that I just want to love you, I just want to
01:38 say you know what? I'm so lucky to have you.
01:41 I'm not just trying to butter you up, but it could be.
01:46 But there is that kind of response that just says wow.
01:49 And I thank you for that, so now we are talking about
01:53 that you are dealing with your anger and I am this
01:56 neglected kid, my pain has got me incredibly self focused
02:01 because my needs aren't met.
02:03 When your anger hits, I close down because I don't trust.
02:06 It was a complete and total catch 22.
02:09 Your reaction to expectations was to run away and
02:14 knowing what I do about your family history, you were told
02:17 to be quiet and shut up and all those kinds of things.
02:20 I was hitting every hot button you had it - exactly.
02:24 Your thing to be to be totally independent and defiant.
02:27 It is interesting to discover that you and I have some
02:29 similarities in terms of our issues.
02:32 The defiant, rebellious side we both have a fair dose of
02:35 that, but look then where I had the judgmental stuff,
02:39 you have the self focused things.
02:41 Where I had some intellectual, you were neglected.
02:44 I just went and read a few of the things for somebody
02:46 that has been neglected and what kind of things.
02:48 They are afraid to let others loved them.
02:50 So even though we are crying out and demanding to be
02:53 loved, we are afraid of that.
02:55 We cannot trust others, we cannot relax in relationships.
02:59 We don't feel comfortable with somebody touching or moving
03:03 in too close, even though were screaming to come closer.
03:06 We tend to be depressed and we have rejection issues and
03:10 all that stuff, we struggle with bitterness because I'm
03:13 going to be more and more bitter if I don't think Brad
03:16 understands or is angry, I came into the relationship with that.
03:20 So somebody with neglect we have all this underlying and
03:24 may not even know how much we have until we start to heal.
03:28 We are attracted to others who also have damage like us
03:32 because we understand that damage.
03:34 So to me when you talk about the anger, the anger set
03:37 off all of my stuff.
03:39 I'm hypersensitive, I'm self focused and all that stuff.
03:43 You're just saying, just step up and get the job done.
03:47 10 years or 12 years into our marriage, when day I looked
03:50 at you and said some day you are going to let me love you.
03:53 I couldn't understand what you are saying.
03:54 You didn't get it, and your thing was, I'm still here,
03:57 I haven't left and you haven't left so isn't
03:58 this what that's about?
04:00 It was one of those things and what is funny now from my
04:02 perspective is to say yes baby you're going to let me
04:05 love you, someday I will figure out how to love you.
04:07 - how to do it. - how to do it and it will be good for us both.
04:10 What I love about God, I absolutely love this about God,
04:14 is that God knew that through out our whole relationship
04:20 how damaged each of us were and knowing that as soon as
04:24 you ask, as soon as you honestly say what about me?
04:29 What is it about me that can change?
04:31 It's not about Brad, because I said that for years.
04:34 You have to change this guy because I can't.
04:37 I said that for years, and as soon as I said what about me
04:40 then God said we have something to work with now.
04:43 And as soon as we both said what about us, how are we going
04:47 to meet on the same page? I watched healing happen in such
04:51 a cool way. - it's has amazing, it's been amazing and
04:54 this is something I think is interesting.
04:56 We got this in our devotions awhile ago when we were
05:00 doing this, if you are in that situation where maybe it
05:03 is okay I am trying to look at me but what about the
05:06 other person and stuff?
05:08 You can't make me change, and I can't make you change.
05:11 But God can, so you if you are in a situation where you
05:15 are working on your stuff, or even if you're not, well
05:18 your deal is to pray for the other person.
05:20 - really bring it to God. - pray heartfelt that God
05:23 touched them in a way that God wants.
05:25 Not that I pray that Little Susie stop doing that, it's
05:30 not like that, that's not the kind of prayer.
05:32 You asked for God to intercede in their life because the
05:34 Holy Spirit does have the power to soften someone's heart.
05:38 What is really fun, seriously, when you do that to me,
05:41 when all of a sudden I'll be in the middle of something
05:43 where I have misunderstood him or took something wrong,
05:46 he said you know what? Can I just care for you right now?
05:49 It really messes up my anger, or my depression.
05:52 It really messes things up because I look at him and if
05:55 he is serious and he is looking at me in love saying
05:59 I want to care for you, I'm out.
06:01 Because that is what we all want, we want somebody to see
06:04 and care for us right now.
06:06 What has been really fun is to get that tool, and all
06:10 that tool is saying is that I'm going to learn to love
06:14 the people around me and if there is anything that gets
06:18 in my way I'm going to ask the Holy Spirit to remove it.
06:21 Take this from me, I'm done with it.
06:23 That's the thing I think is so missed, I'm not going to
06:27 say in all relationships, but it gets missed is the
06:31 dynamic that God really wants between a man and a woman
06:34 and what does it mean to be a man and woman?
06:36 How do you relate to each other?
06:38 And when you both start to get it to where you respect me and
06:41 I am actually taking care of your heart.
06:43 Everybody wins, everybody wins and then that generational
06:47 thing - even your kids want to hang out with you more.
06:50 Your friends want to come over more.
06:52 It's a matter of just saying when you see somebody healthy
06:57 and happy and genuine about who they are in their stuff.
07:01 When they look at you, you know that they care about you,
07:05 you want to be there, you want to be there.
07:07 I think for me that's recovery, that's actually the gospel.
07:11 It's not that I'm going to learn something and be able to
07:15 recite it, actually it's going to be a part of who I am.
07:19 I'm going to be free of what has trashed me and I'm going
07:24 to be able to receive what is going to give me life.
07:27 God has to give me life. - exactly and when you put that
07:30 into the marriage situation, you get a level of intimacy,
07:33 understanding that when you talk about heaven on earth
07:37 that is the whole idea I think.
07:39 And Brad is ridiculous now, I'm telling you just
07:43 ridiculous, he gets his hair done, and he's getting his
07:47 hair cut and he comes back and he says oh, the hairdresser
07:51 her husband is an alcoholic and cheating on her and they
07:55 just left, I had to pray with her.
07:58 I'm thinking, the hairdresser? I mean his heart is so
08:03 open before them, because he was so locked down
08:05 emotionally before that he wouldn't have seen her pain.
08:08 If you know what I mean, and I don't think you would have.
08:11 You wouldn't have seen her pain, and not only would he not
08:13 have seen her pain is that he would have been very matter
08:16 of fact about the response to it.
08:18 I don't she would have been open to tell you the emotional
08:22 details of it, but now you make sure she is working there
08:25 so you can comfort her just case something else as happened.
08:28 It's been an interesting adventure.
08:30 I should probably be worried about that.
08:34 I'm kidding, just kidding and I love you.
08:35 To me I think that is the part that the concept of fellowship
08:39 and a part of the command from Jesus is to go out and
08:42 fellowship with your brothers and what does that mean?
08:45 - love one another - love one another and fellowship.
08:48 Does that mean we always get together and have a meal?
08:51 It could be because eating is cool but if you see a need
08:55 from someone, whether you know them or not is can you
09:00 respond to that need in some capacity?
09:01 Funny story, a silly one, I was pulling into Wal-Mart
09:06 where we live in Idaho and there were two guys trying to
09:11 take a picture of each other in front of Wal-Mart.
09:13 One of them was in a wheelchair and one of them wasn't.
09:16 There was a situation going on and I thought how funny
09:18 take your portrait in front of Wal-Mart, what was special
09:21 about that? Everything was like man you need to park and
09:24 pull up and asked to take their picture together,
09:27 they were thrilled to death.
09:29 I thought how many of hundreds of people walking in and
09:32 out of here, it wasn't hard to figure out that this would
09:35 be a cool thing for them and I felt so honored that God's
09:38 Spirit had directed me to park my car and of course I got
09:40 one of my primo parking places right there which God
09:44 always gives me an to take their picture I was so honored
09:46 to be able to do that and you should have seen the
09:48 smiles on their faces.
09:49 Once you unload, and I think this whole season is about
09:53 that Brad, I know in our life it's about that.
09:55 Once you start getting out from underneath all your damage
10:00 that you are freed up to love the people around you,
10:04 including total strangers in front of Wal-Mart taking
10:08 pictures Brad has another thing he delights in this, to me I
10:12 don't think I would have ever even thought about it.
10:15 But you know sometimes how your headlights get, your
10:21 headlight covers get this cloudiness to them?
10:23 The light doesn't come through as much, it doesn't shoot
10:26 down the road as much, well Brad found this stuff that
10:29 magically clears that up.
10:31 So if he see something in the parking lot, if he sees a car
10:34 that's got those clouded head lights, and nobody has to be
10:37 in the car, he gets this stuff out and goes and fixes
10:40 it for them and puts it away and goes shopping.
10:42 The person doesn't even know what happened.
10:44 Sometimes I think somebody's going to walk out and catch him.
10:48 But I think as you come out from underneath that
10:53 judgmental, defiant, angry stuff, and it's not like
10:57 you were horrible, I love you, well sometimes you were horrible
11:03 It is as you come out from underneath all that I think
11:07 what God knows about you is you have such a great heart.
11:12 So what He is saying I want to fix that.
11:14 With my self-focus my fear and my neglect and I don't really
11:19 know how to trust people as I'm coming out from that
11:22 and God is healing me in that area, I am pulling people
11:25 into my life in such a cool way.
11:27 Our relationship is growing leaps and bounds and the goal
11:31 in recovery is to really be able to step back
11:36 into your life and enjoy it, really enjoy it and
11:40 to be able to bless people.
11:41 They did a study and I've mentioned this study before,
11:44 through denominational lines in the US.
11:46 The study was, what's the number one problem in the
11:50 Christian church right now? Throughout all denominations.
11:54 They found out that the number one problem throughout all
11:57 denominations in the Christian churches is loneliness.
12:03 And Jesus said, love one another and yet we are lonely,
12:09 even if we are in a crowd,
12:10 a lot of us are lonely and because we are so locked up
12:13 with all these different issues that we don't know
12:16 how to love one another.
12:17 So I think in our recovery what God is saying is let Me
12:21 unlock your heart, not so you can stargaze at your own
12:25 heart, but so you can reach out to the heart of the people
12:28 around you. - and let the light shine out to me that
12:31 was real interesting the concept.
12:35 I almost was a crisis point this summer with you and I and
12:37 the message I got basically saying to me is that I know
12:39 we've been together this long but I'm lonely.
12:41 You are not caring for that part of me.
12:45 And what's crazy is that after 22 years together, and with
12:48 the willingness of both of us to take a look at all this
12:52 stuff is that I truly believe we love each other more now
12:55 than we ever have and that the best is ahead.
12:58 That is just a crazy place to be is after 20 years we're
13:02 just getting started, figuring it out in on a honeymoon
13:06 again, and just starting to figure all that out.
13:08 Then you start, in my mind, you're starting to be really
13:13 clear and God says you seen the light and walk in the
13:15 light, but if you are stumbling around in darkness
13:18 you are lying to yourself.
13:20 When we get this and really start to unlock our hearts
13:23 where we just care about the people around us.
13:25 It doesn't matter if we have ever single person you see Hey
13:28 come stay at my house, that's not what that means but
13:31 that's the gospel when people talk about let your light shine.
13:34 It has happened in the home first,
13:36 It has to happen in the home.
13:38 You know Brad were going to open it up for questions
13:40 because we have talked about opening up for questions and
13:43 so I want to do that.
13:46 But what I want to say more than anything is recovery
13:50 has to happen for each of us in order for us to be well
13:55 and love each other and to step into a place where the
13:59 joy of the Lord is our strength.
14:01 I know there is a lot of questions in the café.
14:05 Palischer let's start with you.
14:07 Wow, I was just listening and when you talked about the
14:11 headlights stuff then my questions shifted and I want to
14:15 know what is that my headlights - you have to come out
14:19 to my car. - but has really been interesting and I just love
14:23 how Brad is open to talk and say the things that are
14:28 happening between you and him.
14:29 It is wonderful for you to share it.
14:30 It is all about relationships and how we look inside
14:33 ourselves, that's what you're theme is now and I'm
14:36 thinking about you can't even begin to do the things you are
14:41 doing to make your relationship grow until you do get some of
14:46 that stuff out of your blind spots.
14:49 You have to be able to see what is in your blind spot and
14:52 have the Holy Spirit bring it out of you so you can see
14:54 what it is in you that needs fixing.
14:56 Working on yourself is always first and I mean I just love
15:01 to see that and it works not only in marital relationships
15:06 but relationships in general.
15:08 Friendships and what is really interesting about
15:10 you saying that is the fact that as those things come
15:15 out of those blind spots, as we deal with that it is
15:19 amazing for me to look at Brad, and I hope he looks
15:23 at me and says, you know what I just adore you.
15:26 But one of the times, and I really, it probably increased
15:31 my trust in Brad 1000% is that at one point Brad said
15:36 I just saw a video clip of an early Christmas thing with
15:40 the family and he said I watched this video clip.
15:43 Of course he was mad about something in the clip,
15:45 and he said I don't like that guy,
15:47 I just don't like that guy.
15:49 As he started to break denial about that, he saw his anger
15:53 and saw what it has done to him and to us and really started
15:58 to fight to get that out of his life.
16:00 The fight has increased my love for you and my trust in you.
16:05 Another thing I want to say this again, I said it before,
16:09 but it is speaking to the men and to the guys.
16:11 Societally, generationally, culturally we are taught
16:17 not to feel, not to express, we're taught not to care.
16:21 So it really is one of those things where in some cases
16:26 you almost say it is really not our fault.
16:28 But that doesn't excuse not wanting to figure that out.
16:33 I don't think there is a single guy out there that doesn't
16:37 want to have some woman adore him and think
16:40 he is all that. - exactly, exactly.
16:43 I know guys will enough to know that is part of the deal.
16:46 So if you start to figure this out that is the response
16:50 you are going to get.
16:51 It is like one of those things, there is really no risk,
16:55 the risk is some personal pain I suppose, as you look at
16:58 that stuff, I guess I wasn't totally truthful there.
17:01 There is some pain but the risk is really marginal because
17:04 the Holy Spirit is going to walk you through it.
17:07 God is going to be with you and the payoff is huge.
17:09 - it's huge. - it's huge.
17:11 We have another question from the café so Ashley I know
17:15 that you had a question.
17:17 Yeah, what advice would you give to someone like myself
17:21 who has family and friends that are in that lockdown mode
17:24 and they can't see it?
17:26 What can we do for all the other people out there that
17:30 can see it in their families and friends?
17:32 What can we do to help?
17:33 - They are huge in denial. - they are completely in
17:35 denial about it?
17:36 A big stick, a really big stick. - So off with his head?
17:41 There you go. - we spoke about this a little bit earlier
17:45 and while there is certainly a number of things you can do
17:49 one is be the light, be a light for them.
17:53 As your behavior changes, and you are grounded in that,
17:56 I know that you are, I admire you so much.
17:58 As you are grounded in that, and they see you walk the
18:04 walk, they can't but at some point say I want a piece of that
18:10 I don't know what it is, and even though I may be locked
18:13 up and angry and all that stuff I still cannot deny that
18:16 you have changed and you are happier, I see you at peace
18:19 and grounded and so part is walking the walk and being
18:23 convicted yourself as an example.
18:24 The others to pray for them, that the power of the Holy
18:27 Spirit, and I've used this before in my own thing.
18:31 I forget which one of the disciples said pray for your
18:35 enemies is like dumping hot coals on their head.
18:37 I like that part, but a case where people you love
18:39 you don't want them to be hot coals you like them to
18:41 be little flower petals or something.
18:44 But when you pray for them it allows the Holy Spirit
18:47 to intercede in their life.
18:49 One of the things I have to say about prayer,
18:52 what somebody feels like is when they get down to where
18:55 all they have is prayer they feel like that is the last
18:59 thing that they have, it is so powerful.
19:03 Really confront the fact do I believe there is a God in
19:07 heaven I do I believe that this God loves them
19:10 more than I love them?
19:12 And do I believe that they are locked up?
19:15 Actually I love the way you said that because it is
19:18 really painful to be in a relationship with somebody
19:21 that is really damaged and really locked down.
19:23 I prayed for Brad for 14 years before he saw his anger
19:27 at all, if you know what I mean?
19:28 So a long time and that is a really painful thing.
19:32 But asking God even for yourself to get a sense,
19:36 to have your heart break for how stuck they are.
19:39 Do you know what I mean? So like the first time my mom
19:44 and I had just been an abusive relationship emotionally mostly
19:50 for years and years and years.
19:51 But I started praying for her and God put me in front of
19:55 a girl that lives in Australia that had all these kids
19:58 and had them young and all that stuff.
20:01 They lived in all this chaos at one point when I was
20:04 looking at her life and all the chaos God said your mom
20:08 had it worse than that.
20:10 She had to raise you kids in that and all of a sudden
20:14 I saw my mom instead of the villain, I saw my mom as this
20:19 little kid trying to raise kids in an abusive relationship
20:23 and she just couldn't do it.
20:25 So my heart broke for her. So when our heart starts to
20:28 break for the people around us that are locked up,
20:31 we treat them different, we respond to them different.
20:35 With my mom I know that when I call her I'm going to get
20:37 sometimes right now, we've been at this for a long time,
20:40 sometimes they get good stuff, most of the time I'm going
20:43 to get that negative stuff, right? But I love her.
20:48 Such a start asking for your heart to be broken for them.
20:52 What I think is really cool with you and your mom, I as
20:55 the man trying to stand up and provide spiritual protection
20:59 for the household as a whole, a healing for the household.
21:03 It's funny because I'm the last to male in my family,
21:06 so my household extends out to my sisters and all that stuff
21:09 They are married but I still have some spiritual
21:12 authority in that area which is crazy.
21:14 All of a sudden things are happening on a level with
21:17 your mom - because we pray for her every day.
21:19 We pray for her every day but the fact that last Christmas
21:21 you got flowers from her was unbelievable.
21:25 Her mom has never sent her anything when the flowers come
21:27 she thought they were from me. Did you get me some flowers?
21:29 - We were so broke. he said no I didn't.
21:32 Now I actually didn't, and who are they from and I opened
21:34 the card first and I started crying because her mom,
21:37 your mom has never sent you anything like that.
21:40 And missing you wishing you were here.
21:42 Yeah that has never happened - that's just crazy.
21:45 So to be one of the things that is absolutely incredible
21:48 is the fact that when anybody blinks, when anybody tries
21:52 to do recovery, when you start doing changes within your
21:56 own life, not with anybody else's life.
21:58 I couldn't change you at all, you had to see it and God had
22:01 to do it, the only role I played was try to love you
22:05 without damaging you too much with my stuff.
22:08 - I thought you were the thorn in my side? I'm just kidding.
22:15 But what's really funny about all this stuff is
22:18 that it is, what happens when we actually decide that I'm
22:24 going to do this, I'm going to do this.
22:26 I'm going to get well, and not kind of love the people
22:30 around me, I want to love them.
22:33 I want them to know, Ashley you as my friend I want you to
22:36 know that you are loved by me and I want you to know that
22:40 I am thrilled that you are in my life.
22:42 I love the fact that when we see each other, we haven't
22:46 seen each other for a while.
22:47 You live in Canada and I live in the states, but when we
22:50 see each other we get to say, man I've missed you and talk
22:53 100 miles an hour, I love that but the only way I'm going
22:56 to get that honestly is to do my own work.
22:59 The only way I'm going to do that well is to ask God, my
23:03 higher power, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit to guide me.
23:06 Let me see my blind spots because I don't want to be bound
23:09 up anymore, I done believing the lies of the devil and I am
23:13 done believing that I'm not going to be loved or have
23:15 a relationship, I am going to have that.
23:19 Brad you are going to have that, we are okay because God
23:22 said I will fulfill the work that I started in you.
23:25 Exactly, exactly. - it's not even us. - Exactly.
23:29 So that's one of the things when you kind of gain some
23:33 momentum in this, you start to be able to see your blind
23:36 spots, allow the Holy Spirit to come in and start working and
23:39 pretty soon that's all cleaned up and then as things get
23:42 cleaner the dirty spots show up easier and you can spot
23:45 them quicker and sooner.
23:47 As you feel the freedom then you are really wanting to get
23:50 rid of that other stuff when you see it.
23:51 I like that thing about rocks.
23:53 Yeah it is just to be willing you may have been walking down
23:57 this path for long time but at some point you have to start
24:00 pulling rocks up and seeing what's underneath them.
24:03 Ah man I don't want to look at that, but until you turn
24:07 them over you are not going to know what is there.
24:10 Well a lot of people, especially fourth step, it's a lot of
24:13 recovery places and it's called the dreaded fourth step.
24:18 Because it is so tough to look at maybe my anger, or it is
24:22 tough to look at the fact that I have been just horrible
24:27 at times to the people that have loved me.
24:29 Because I've been so self focused and had really got to
24:32 stand up in their own life kind of thing.
24:34 You start looking at that and it hurts you.
24:37 Something really hurts you when you see your own self and focus
24:41 on your own injuries, but God says I'm not doing this to
24:45 hurt you, I'm doing this so you can have life
24:47 and have it more abundantly.
24:49 I'm doing this so you can really get everything back.
24:54 When you start to trust God, because trust has to start
24:58 the relationships and all that stuff, but ultimately
25:01 I have to trust God, God is bigger than all the stuff
25:05 and can get me through.
25:06 When you start trusting God, God says I will take the
25:09 crazy stuff that you have, I will take your anger and
25:11 turn it around and you will still have some anger but it
25:14 will be good, it will be anger at world hunger, anger at
25:18 some of the injustices that will motivate you to stand up.
25:21 So your anger is still going to be there, your sexuality
25:25 I will untwist it so you won't have the perversion and
25:28 I will give you sexuality back because we are sexual beings.
25:31 But I'm going to fix it and give it back to you so that
25:35 you can love and laugh at people around you.
25:37 I think another thing is as you step into this process is
25:41 realize, and I will speak for myself right now, I had a
25:44 myriad of things where you start to uncover one thing and
25:47 suddenly something else comes up and you think I didn't
25:49 know I had an issue over there.
25:50 So for me, as you cleaned them up you'll find okay that
25:54 was pretty good, it's pretty stable and then this one pops
25:57 up and you got to go work on this one and come over there.
26:02 I had issues again judgmental, anger, sexuality, arrogance,
26:06 yea I know you like that one.
26:08 arrogance - because I think you got that from your folks too.
26:12 Oh I know I did, bless her heart, most of that came from
26:14 my mom, - and most of it came from her mom.
26:18 - it came from her mom, she was born in a tiny little
26:20 town in northern Wisconsin of 250 people and all the
26:23 girls by the time they were out of high school were
26:25 pregnant and married to someone working in the sawmill.
26:28 They didn't want that, they wanted some better for their
26:31 daughter and that was really out of their version of love.
26:34 So she wasn't allowed to play with the kids, she was better
26:36 and sent off to boarding school and so this we-ism was
26:41 handed down to me without even my knowledge about it until
26:45 much, much, much later.
26:46 Underlying pain with arrogance was that she was always
26:49 lonely, do you know what I mean? She didn't have friends.
26:53 Couldn't have friends in all its stuff so it is pretty
26:55 amazing that it is like every single thing that comes with
27:00 this one major issue, but like you said it's under the
27:02 rock or over the rock or however you want to say it that
27:05 is all these other issues and what God says is when
27:08 you are free you are going to feel lighter.
27:10 You're going to feel lighter, you're going to feel that
27:14 when you do share your recovery or what the gospel
27:16 growth is all about, because God delights in our recovery.
27:20 He knows that when we stop believing the lies that all this
27:24 stuff really falls away from us. - it does, it really
27:27 does, and then what you wind up with is two people that
27:30 truly love each other, the concept of becoming one
27:34 flesh and walking as one entity, walking in the
27:37 light is just amazing.
27:39 It really is amazing. - you know if there is some things
27:42 we can do to resolve all these things we have been talking
27:45 about, so if you find yourself in the place where you have
27:48 anger and are locked up you'll want to take steps to
27:52 resolve your bitterness, to resolve your rebellion, to
27:55 resolve your anger, and forgive those around you.
27:57 If you are willing to take those steps and do that you will
28:00 start to be able to express your love freely without
28:02 anger, without conditions around it.
28:04 You will be able to forgive very easily without being
28:07 offended yourself, which is an interesting place to be.
28:10 What is really cool is when you clean that up your loved
28:13 ones in your family will want to start hanging around
28:16 with you. - it's amazing. - amazing.
28:19 You know it's funny on this program we have taken it all
28:23 way down to the wire. So I'm going to just try to,
28:26 first of all I want to say thank you for being in my life
28:29 and thank you for being on the program.
28:30 Thank you for working so hard Brad and I want to say as your
28:34 wife, as the mother of your children you have
28:36 changed our household with your fighting for this recovery
28:39 and I want to say thank you for that.
28:41 I'm so honored it's unbelievable I know that God put us
28:45 together for reason and it is really fun to watch
28:48 Him unfold that. - that's cool.
28:50 I just want to say again is recovery, this fourth step,
28:55 this looking at your own issues is not an easy step but
28:59 you get everything back.
29:01 I know we have said that over and over and over on this
29:04 segment, but you get everything back, you get everything.
29:06 You get family, you get friends, you get your laughter,
29:09 you get your health because sometimes with all of our junk,
29:13 our blood pressure is trashed and we get health issues as
29:17 we stop going outside as much, as we stop our hobbies
29:20 those kind of things, well you will get all that back.
29:23 I want you to fight for your recovery, let God directed it
29:27 I want you to fight for it, I want you to write us and let
29:31 us know if you get any kind of insights that you start
29:34 working on and get any kind of relief from that.
29:37 Write to us and let us know.
29:38 Until then always remember that God is crazy about you,
29:41 we are too, God bless and we'll see you next time and
29:44 remember fight for it, don't let anybody rob you.