Celebrating Life in Recovery


Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Marcia Armstead


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR00086C

00:14 Welcome back, I love the fact that Marcia talked so much
00:17 about her rebellion and what happened to her as far as
00:21 how that started in a Sabbath school class and it really
00:24 blindsided her, she thought everything was fine.
00:27 I'm just doing class and somebody says something about
00:30 I think you are going to be married to a Pastor and her
00:33 self raised up and she said no way.
00:35 Don't even say that to me, and I don't know where that
00:38 came from but when you start to deal with rebellion
00:41 you will feel that come up, you will feel that rise up.
00:44 If you are questioning right now whether that is your
00:48 issue sit down quietly and say Jesus, is that my issue?
00:52 Do I have rebellion to look at? Then let the Holy Spirit
00:55 direct you, because one of the things that was a real
00:58 surprised at is the Holy Spirit directed me to my own
01:01 rebellion and when I asked Him was that one of my issues?
01:04 He showed me when I was a little kid and
01:06 that nobody heard me, nobody paid attention and there was
01:10 a time in my life that I said as a little girl, that will
01:14 not happen again. You will hear me and I am going to be
01:18 seen and all that stuff.
01:20 Even with Greta when she talked about self rising up
01:23 as that self for me rose up there was some things I had to
01:28 look at fairness issues life is not fair and it is not fair that
01:32 I had to be raised with addicts.
01:34 I am going to take care of myself and nobody's going to
01:37 hurt me anymore like that.
01:38 And every single one of those statements created in me
01:43 this really rebellion, this really defiant place.
01:46 So if you ask God, God is that me? Jesus do I really need to
01:51 look at some things? And what are they?
01:52 What are they can be anywhere, like mine was caused by pain.
01:56 Marcia's, if I'm going to guess was caused by somebody
02:01 taking a dream that she might have had and changing that
02:06 dream off and her saying that's not the dream I had.
02:09 But something happens and our rebellion kicks in.
02:13 So if you are thinking that you may have some of that
02:16 stuff is too ask Jesus what kicked in for you.
02:19 Where did it start? To close here we're going to talk
02:25 about how to resolve that stuff.
02:26 So one is ask God, because God has known us since we were
02:29 tiny. The Bible says when you were in your mother's womb
02:33 I formed you, so if anybody is going to bring light onto
02:37 our blind spots, on to our rebellion, onto our anger
02:40 issues, God is going to do that through the Holy Spirit.
02:44 I think as far as an accountability partner, as far
02:48 somebody they can walk alongside of us, God is it.
02:52 God is so good at it, He is so gentle, so ask Him.
02:56 Do I have rebellion issues? What are they?
02:59 Were they caused by pain? Then if you are brave enough
03:03 ask the people around you because they will say
03:07 are you kidding me? You are asking me that?
03:10 Of course you do that usually the people around us know
03:13 that we do have that edge to us.
03:16 We do have fairness issues that always get under our skin.
03:21 We do I have anger to deal with? And if you ask God
03:25 where is the anger that I have? Do I have that and where
03:29 did that come from? Because what is really amazing is
03:34 that God says okay what are you going to do with that anger?
03:37 Marcia talked about surrendering that to God, what an
03:41 incredible stance to take.
03:43 It is not the only do I believe there is a God that
03:45 cares about me and my recovery, I believe there is a God
03:48 that can free me from this junk that I am tied up with.
03:52 From this anger and from this rebellion because
03:54 I'm telling you I don't know what you're rebellion looks
03:56 like, but mine looked bad, it looked bad.
03:59 There was nothing good about how I walked around in life.
04:03 Because if you got under my skin, if you said something that
04:06 offended me I could drop the relationship like that and
04:09 go on to someone else.
04:10 I could move away and do all that stuff and not even know
04:13 that all that came from my rebellion.
04:15 If you asked me to step into recovery and I still have
04:19 all of that junk stirring up is that I will not be able
04:22 to connect with the people around me.
04:23 So ask Him about your rebellion, did it come from pain?
04:26 Did it come from anger? How can I then step into
04:29 recovery? What can I do next to resolve that?
04:32 Deal with the fact that if my rebellion came from the
04:38 damage I had as a child, can I forgive them?
04:43 That is huge. Can I go to every single relationship,
04:47 we talked on another program is that in different
04:50 12-step groups, different programs they will have
04:54 you list all your resentments, have you list all the
04:57 people that have hurt you.
04:59 Especially in the big book and most 12-step groups will
05:03 give you a whole column and say list any institution or
05:07 people that have injured you in your life.
05:09 That is where most of our rebellion comes from and
05:11 where most of our anger comes from.
05:13 So list them out and when you get them listed out, say to
05:18 yourself I forgive you for hurting me in the way you did.
05:24 Like for my mom, I forgive you for not loving me.
05:27 I forgive you for not being there because of your
05:31 addictions. I choose to let that go, whatever ground
05:34 I gave to the devil, what ever I surrendered to him
05:38 I am literally taking that back and taking all the pain
05:41 and the consequences and the rebellion from that back and
05:44 I'm going to surrender that to God and ask you Jesus to
05:47 take full control of that and please change me.
05:51 Teach me how to walk through life without rebellion.
05:53 Because for some of us it is in our very DNA.
05:56 You know what I mean, it is so much of who we are that if
06:00 you ask somebody who they are without it they don't know.
06:03 It motivates them to get the job done.
06:05 It motivates them to walk through life.
06:08 They literally can grab somebody by the collar and say
06:10 what you mean that I don't belong here?
06:14 That I didn't deserve this promotion? It motivates them to
06:18 do that and you start healing from there and
06:20 you don't really know how to do that but as God how do
06:22 I even do that?
06:23 Another thing that we are going to look at and this is
06:26 awful, we are going to look at, I was very, in my
06:31 rebellion I ended up on the streets at age 13 so
06:36 I was homeless.
06:37 I survived the streets and there was a certain amount
06:42 of pride in that.
06:43 I was literally kidnapped by bikers, punched in the face
06:47 with my teeth knocked out and I got up to punch
06:49 them back each time.
06:51 And you know there was a part of me that says try to
06:54 take me down, you cannot take me down.
06:56 There was this sense of defiance, a sense of rebellion
07:01 for sure, but there was a pride that stepped into my life
07:06 and it was really there, I really protected that.
07:09 So I had to really look at how I deal with pride?
07:13 How do I do with the fact that it may not be as blatant
07:17 nor as obvious to some one else's, but it was always
07:21 this underlying thing.
07:23 So in my rebellion I really want to ask the people around
07:26 me and God Himself, what does my pride look like?
07:30 I'm not brave like people.
07:32 In my recovery I said God show me real gentle.
07:36 You know what I'm a baby, I'm a baby so I want healing
07:42 but I wanted to be gentle with me.
07:44 If I have to deal with this, show it to me gently.
07:48 You're really going to come in and say I feel like I have
07:52 some rebellion, I know it is caused by pain, I know it is
07:56 caused by whatever the attack I was under or the fact that
07:59 I lost my father or the fact that everybody around me addicts
08:03 or whatever the reason I'm going to surrender that to You.
08:06 I think I have some pride, I think I have some anger and
08:09 I'm going to bring that to You.
08:10 The reason you're going to do that is that for whatever
08:13 I hold on to it is going to stop me from walking
08:16 out of these addictions.
08:18 It's got to stop me from walking out of the sadness's in
08:21 my life or the places that continuing trip me up
08:26 or stop you from that, so I really want to surrender
08:30 all of it to God.
08:31 God being the accountability partner.
08:33 One thing I want to suggest too on top of all this, is to
08:37 make sure that you really say to someone around you,
08:41 can I open up and share this with you?
08:45 When I write down all the stuff, when I write out what
08:48 my resentments are, what my angers are, what my rebellion
08:52 looks like, and some of our rebellion looks horrible.
08:55 We end up in jail, we end up strung out, we end up with
08:58 all that stuff so you write all that out.
09:01 In your rebellion did you learn to lie? Did you learn to
09:04 manipulate? Did you learn to steal? Did you learn to
09:07 play people? All that stuff, write it out.
09:10 Literally put it on paper because for some of us we in
09:13 our head cover some of that stuff but we don't put it down
09:17 on paper, when you put it down on paper it looks different.
09:20 A lot of you know but I wrote a book and I was really
09:23 surprised as I was writing that book, is that my
09:26 rebellion and my junk was so obvious to me that it made it
09:30 really easy to realize where I was stuck.
09:33 So write it down and when you write it down show it to
09:36 someone, and be careful who you show it to.
09:39 Show it to a Pastor, show it to someone in a group that
09:43 you go to, show it to a friend, show it to your spouse.
09:47 If you guys are not dealing with all that junk.
09:49 Show it to somebody that cares about you because that person
09:53 will gently allow you to say it out loud.
09:56 So now you've written it down, you have said it out loud,
09:59 and then you say to God forgive me, I surrendered this
10:03 rebellion to You.
10:05 I pray that whatever the devil meant to do in my life
10:08 to destroy me with, to destroy my relationship with my family,
10:13 I just surrender all that to You, I pray that
10:15 the blood of Christ will just cover that.
10:18 You really are asking for some huge changes.
10:20 What is really interesting to me is that we don't have to
10:24 do any of that, I can say I don't need that, I don't need
10:27 that and keep all of that in my pocket.
10:30 In a 12 step program what they call is an alcoholic that
10:33 has come out of their alcoholism but hasn't changed
10:37 a thing, they call him a dry drunk.
10:39 Because he is still angry, he still has all that junk,
10:42 he still has all that rebellion.
10:44 He still has all that dysfunction in the relationships
10:47 and most people hate to be around them.
10:49 So even though they are not drinking, they will say what
10:52 is wrong? I'm not drinking isn't that what you wanted?
10:55 And their kids or spouse will say here's a bottle of
10:57 whatever, drink because you are driving us crazy.
11:00 The only reason they are saying that is they
11:02 haven't dealt with their stuff.
11:04 So one of the things I know you can stop all of your
11:08 addiction but if you don't deal with these hidden things,
11:10 if you don't deal with this rebellion, and especially the
11:13 anger stuff that stays underneath the surface.
11:16 If you don't deal with that you will never fully get well.
11:19 If you don't get well, the next thing that happens and the
11:23 Bible is real clear about that is that we pass all
11:25 that stuff down generationally so that
11:28 the next person that walks around with every single thing
11:31 you have, are your kids.
11:33 I have worked with people who are very angry and strung
11:37 out and pretty soon their kids are angry and strung out.
11:41 You don't even have to ask where this came from because
11:45 you can see grandpa is angry and an alcoholic.
11:48 But if you went back far enough you can see all that
11:51 the Bible talks about 3 or 4 for generations, but somebody
11:55 breaks that generational thing.
11:56 What is amazing, is when I finally said to God okay
12:01 I'm clueless of all that I have.
12:04 I'm clueless of what is in side of me.
12:07 I'm clueless of what causes my rebellion to jump back out
12:10 again, I'm clueless of my underlying anger so
12:13 I just surrender it all to You.
12:14 I finally did that honestly and I have a great life,
12:18 I have a great life who would have guessed it?
12:21 Not only have a great life but I have found that
12:25 I have talents I never knew I had.
12:27 I have giftings I never knew I had, I have the ability to
12:30 love and bring people into my life, friendships that I never
12:33 knew I could do and all of a sudden the world changes.
12:37 I would even venture to say that the colors in the world
12:41 change, that the world is brighter, that my future has
12:44 more hope in it, that I literally wake up with joy and
12:48 I can laugh out loud and I enjoy being in my own skin.
12:52 It is all because I finally said to God okay if there is
12:56 anything in there, if there is anything stopping me from
12:59 being able to respond to You honestly and to the people
13:03 I love, I surrender, I surrender.
13:06 As soon as I did that I think all of heaven just
13:10 celebrated, just celebrated and said you know baby
13:13 I'm going to pour all that stuff into you.
13:16 I'm going to clean up and when I clean up you are going
13:19 to feel freer and lighter and I do.
13:21 And I pray that for you, I hope that for you.
13:24 If you get stuck you can e-mail us or call us and we will
13:27 help you through it.
13:28 Until next week will see ya always remember
13:31 God is crazy about you and me too. God bless!


Revised 2014-12-17