Celebrating Life in Recovery

Mother's Death/Daughter's Love

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Bobbie Hartman, Tammy Hartman, Haylee Staton


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR00085B

00:13 Welcome back! Do you know what I think is incredible
00:16 about God is that He will stick with us and help us
00:18 to find blind spots and get freedom to our very last breath.
00:23 Sometimes I want to kiss Him on the face for His
00:28 gentleness His patience and His ability to bring things around
00:33 so we can look at it.
00:35 Today we are going to meet some people that have had
00:38 that journey themselves and with the people that
00:41 they have loved and this story really did change me.
00:44 So I want to first say hi Bobby and thank you for
00:48 coming on the program.
00:49 I know you at one point told me I am scared to death.
00:52 Do you still feel that way or are you better?
00:56 I'm better. - Tammy thank you for joining us.
00:59 We are going to talk about how we met first.
01:03 So I would like you to say a little bit starting,
01:06 Bobby, a little bit about yourself and how we met and
01:09 what that journey was like.
01:12 Well I heard you on a program. - one of these programs?
01:17 No it was before Celebrating Life In Recovery.
01:21 It was about you being on drugs and you were so sincere
01:26 on your testimony that I wanted to get in touch with you
01:31 because we knew somebody that was hooked on drugs.
01:35 - what kind of drugs? - It was prescription drugs.
01:39 - when you say hooked on drugs what does that look like?
01:42 A lot of people don't realize what that looks like and
01:45 some of the people listening that is their blind spot
01:49 is that they do not realize that prescription drugs are
01:52 robbing everybody of those relationships.
01:55 So talk about who it is and what did it look like and
01:58 why were you scared for them?
01:59 Her name was Lynn and she existed in this world that said
02:07 I can't function if I don't have this in my system.
02:12 She would do whatever it took to make sure that she still
02:15 had what she thought she needed.
02:17 What did what ever it took look like?
02:21 If she had to make phone calls to somebody to try and get
02:25 some more when she was out.
02:27 - sometimes people will see two and three doctors at the
02:30 time to get prescriptions from all kinds of different
02:34 places, I knew one girl that had 17 surgeries just so she
02:38 could get pain meds and the doctors finally said to her
02:41 the surgery and the scar tissue from the surgery is going
02:44 to kill you and we cannot do any more.
02:46 But when you talk about she will do what ever, what ever
02:51 is huge. - that is how this started was from a surgery
02:58 that the surgery was a success but the surgeon that did
03:06 the surgery had let the incision get infected and she
03:14 had six different infections.
03:16 - so all the pain from that? All the pain from that.
03:20 Lynn is your sister? - yes, she ended up with all these
03:25 infections and they put her on all kinds of pain medicine
03:30 and that is how she got addicted to it.
03:34 So when we met, you are coming for help? - Yes.
03:40 We had this issue and I knew we met at a Women's Retreat.
03:44 - yes and Kansas City. - Whereat? Kansas City. - yes.
03:49 So we met in women's retreat and tell me a little bit
03:53 before we get into what happened after we met and how
03:57 I met or talked with Lynn.
03:59 Tell me a little bit about your sister prior to the
04:04 addictions. - She had some substance abuse as she was
04:10 growing up in her teenage years, early 20s.
04:17 But she had two daughters and was married and had a lot
04:24 better life and she wasn't really into the drugs then.
04:32 She had two girls she loved very much.
04:34 After the surgery is when she got into the drugs and she
04:42 wanted the help, but did not want to leave her kids to do it.
04:51 So when we talk like we talked on the first part
04:54 of the program about sometimes we have these blind spots
04:58 that are huge.
04:59 When did hers develop and what did hers look like as far
05:03 as did she feel it was a problem? Was she aware of what
05:07 kept her strung out and talk about that?
05:10 She thought she could handle it and she thought that
05:15 it wasn't that big of a deal.
05:16 But when she would be out she would even threaten her
05:21 mom with you won't see the kids if I can't get this.
05:25 Wow, so people were blackmailed kind of by her?
05:29 It was pretty intense. - you won't see your grandkids
05:32 if you don't help me? - right.
05:34 Even with that, and I guess the reason is that even with
05:38 that she really didn't see the magnitude of the issue.
05:42 The bigness of the issue and when I meet people that are
05:46 that lost in their addiction you want to shake them but
05:50 you can't because it is truly denial or a blind spot.
05:53 A lot of people talk about they step into denial, they
05:57 rationalize their behavior and you saw all of that with
06:00 your sister, aye? - yes, she would try to get the
06:08 painkillers, she would loan her car out to get these.
06:19 Or she would sell something, anything like that.
06:22 She would try to steal from other people in the family.
06:30 Would it be okay to say that became her only focus?
06:38 Her main focus, yes, not her only because her kids
06:44 are still part of. - she could still come through
06:50 that and love on her kids. - Yes!
06:52 We are going to talk with Hayley her daughter on the
06:55 second half of the program, so we will meet her.
06:59 It is really tough, my parents were addicts.
07:02 Even though the focus to still on us it is hard because
07:06 they are removed, there are take enough of the pain meds
07:11 and not enough sleep and they are focused on something
07:15 else so intently that the kids do lose some.
07:19 But you are saying that she still tried to be a parent?
07:24 Right. - Tell me about how you brought me into her life.
07:28 Because to me I think that with the Ministry it is really
07:33 interesting to be a part of somebody's journey
07:35 even a tiny bit.
07:39 Well I saw you on a show and then I got a hold of the number
07:44 for True Step Ministries and I called and found out that
07:48 you are going to be in Kansas City which wasn't that far
07:51 from where we lived.
07:53 So I went up to the Women's Retreat only I went the night
07:55 before so that you and I could have a chance to talk.
07:59 I was really interested in making sure that we connected
08:04 so that I could find help to figure out how to let her
08:08 have a better life.
08:10 And we connected? - Yes! - talked? - yes!
08:13 Hung out by the pool and chatted for a while. - Yep!
08:16 What happened next? Because I know that you told her
08:22 that you gave her some of the videos?
08:24 Yes we was watching on the first series of Celebrating
08:28 Life and was watching one, I would tape them and would
08:32 bring them to her and we would watch it.
08:34 And on the very next to the last one she said that she
08:39 wished that she could have a relationship that was sincere
08:43 with God and we shut the tape down and she said a prayer.
08:48 And she asked God into her life.
08:50 You know what is amazing to me is the fact that sometimes
08:55 we do programs and we don't realize that this is life
09:00 changing, when people actually get it.
09:02 That blind spot, that place where you have hid in your
09:06 addiction, and I have had that spot and have been in that
09:09 place, but that place you have hid in your addiction
09:13 all of a sudden the light of God just illuminates that
09:16 spot and maybe for the first time you raise your hand
09:19 and say I need some help. I'm done.
09:23 She came to that moment. I wish I would have been in
09:26 the living room.
09:28 Outside of being on tape I wish I could have physically
09:31 been in the living room.
09:33 So you stopped the program, you prayed? Yes she asked God into
09:39 her life and then we started the tape again and she said
09:43 that she needed help and I had your cell phone number
09:46 so I went and called you and you are on a plane getting
09:49 ready to go so we connected and tried to find her
09:54 the help that she needed.
09:57 We do interventions all over the country, now internationally
10:01 even were we get to come in and work with people and
10:06 I love being able to be in that place where somebody
10:10 is going to change things and come out of those
10:13 addictions, and I love doing that.
10:16 We got to do a little bit with you guys at that point.
10:21 When we talk about her getting to a point where she sees
10:25 that she needs help, where she accepts Christ
10:28 in to her life, at that point I may want to talk with you
10:32 Tammy, at that point she was pretty sick.
10:37 She was real sick so what did that look like?
10:41 She couldn't stay awake at all, she would try to eat and
10:50 fall asleep in her food.
10:55 She was just, we were real close in getting her the help
11:02 that she needed.
11:04 So let me just say her body, how was her kidneys, liver,
11:09 and all that stuff?
11:11 Everything was shutting down. - everything was shutting
11:14 down, so we are not talking about if somebody hears that
11:16 they may think that she is so high that she is falling
11:19 asleep in her food and that but at that point her addiction,
11:24 her organs were shutting down.
11:27 Her heart was affected and all that stuff.
11:29 To me that amazes me more than anything else about how our
11:34 addiction is that we are totally blinded to that.
11:39 Even our body is screaming out, everybody around us is
11:44 scared to death.
11:45 We are pulling people in from all over the place, yet the
11:49 person that is involved says I'm okay, I can handle this.
11:52 So when we talk about blind spots, but we talk about even
11:56 here today when we talk about really looking at what the
12:00 truth is about your life, the reason we are talking about
12:03 that is it is a life-and-death thing.
12:06 When you get to that point you have to listen to the
12:09 people around you and she was still having a little bit of
12:13 a difficulty doing that all way to the end? - yes!
12:19 What happened next? - At the very end she was still getting
12:27 all the drugs anyway she could the last night that she
12:35 was alive, she had went to bed, she had stayed with me and
12:42 I found her the next morning. - she died in her sleep?
12:49 She died in her sleep and the autopsy said
12:53 her heart gave out.
12:54 And at that point, I want to say I am so sorry, but at
12:59 that point you guys were looking for treatments.
13:02 She was wanting to make a change and those things and the
13:06 one thing I want to say is that I've always been blessed
13:09 when I have heard what happened to Lynn, is that she came
13:13 back to a place where she was getting her life back
13:17 together and literally had invited God back into that
13:21 takeover for me I'm powerless here.
13:23 So on the day that He comes back and the resurrection,
13:27 happens, I get to say hi, do you know what I mean?
13:31 You guys get to say hello.
13:35 She said that whenever I was getting back with God and
13:38 was getting baptized and I was happy and cheerful,
13:45 she said I want what you have.
13:49 She was watching your life change at the time this was
13:53 happening you are coming back to Christ and she saw the
13:58 peace that was coming into your life. - Uh Hmmm. Yes!
14:03 So how was it, and I want you to think about this before
14:08 you answer because for a lot of us that are left, somebody
14:12 makes a decision and in denial all the way to the end
14:16 really and not realizing that you are killing yourself.
14:19 How is it to have to take the next breath after you find her?
14:24 Because you have to live. How has that been for you?
14:32 Very hard! It's one of those situations where I don't
14:37 really wish that on my worst enemy.
14:40 If I had one I would just, it was hard to keep it together
14:47 for her daughters and I have custody of one.
14:56 But when I found her I called 911 and it was too late.
15:06 But everything in you had hoped this was going to be the
15:09 change? - yes! - Both of you were in the hopes that this
15:13 was going to be it and she was going to get help?
15:16 Yes we were looking, we had called several places and
15:19 were looking to get her in somewhere and she died before
15:22 we had that opportunity.
15:24 You know that was probably the heartbreak for me is that
15:31 there was not a place she could come, as soon as you got that
15:34 first call, and you know that we are looking at building
15:38 a center right now so that never happens again.
15:41 If somebody calls us we can just say get on a plane and
15:44 come out because that was the sadness of that.
15:48 I really believe that the damage had been done to the
15:51 point it might not have made a difference.
15:55 But you know there is always that question.
16:05 God, you see I was in the turmoil myself on where to move
16:12 the change in my life, stay around for her and the girls
16:19 or go live somewhere else.
16:20 - have a fresh start for yourself?
16:22 And I kept on praying to God what should I do?
16:26 I feel like He, in a way, answered my prayer after two
16:31 or three months of praying.
16:32 Lynn's body was just giving out and He went ahead and took
16:39 her - and gave her a rest. She really needed to rest.
16:45 She has been through a lot in her life.
16:47 We are not going to get into right now what led up to
16:51 those addictions being so severe because usually it is
16:54 not the drugs that lead up to that it is the pain or the
16:57 things that she has gone through in her past.
16:59 What happened in childhood, what happens throughout her
17:01 early adulthood and all that stuff.
17:03 You know those things in detail probably?
17:06 A lot of it yes.
17:09 So the only thing I wanted to say is that I am so sorry
17:15 for your loss, I'm sorry that it ended up happening in
17:21 the way it did, but there is a joy.
17:23 Talk about even that because you got to see her come to
17:27 Christ, you got to see that hope in her eyes and so what
17:30 did that do for you Bobby?
17:32 It motivated me because then I called you and I was trying
17:36 to get her help when she asked for help.
17:38 Did it seem real to you? Yes, very real. It was great!
17:47 To me that's what I want even now as we talk about Lynn is
17:51 what I want to honor her with is that moment when she knew
17:55 she did not have to be lost in this darkness for ever.
17:58 That she knew that the Holy Spirit, that God Himself
18:01 said I see you down there.
18:03 There is nothing too dark that I cannot see through.
18:08 That's what I feel like she really got that message
18:11 from God, is that I know how you feel lost, I know that
18:15 you feel trapped in all this stuff but I am God and
18:19 My hand can reach you and He did.
18:22 Yeah He did. Which was an absolute miracle through
18:27 all those drugs, for all that prescription and all those
18:30 lies she had told herself for a while, through all that
18:33 were she backed into the darkness and God said,
18:36 I've got you, I've got you.
18:41 With the prescription is what made it harder to get her
18:44 the help because they said it's not like just stopping
18:47 somebody from drugs, she's still has to have some medicine
18:50 and it has to be controlled.
18:52 It has to be slowly taken off? - right!
18:54 So that made it less options of places she could go.
18:59 So we are going to take a break and I want to introduce
19:03 everybody to Haley and talk about from her perspective
19:09 what happened, but I want you to know that the joy I have
19:14 right now is that prayer that she said on her last day.
19:19 Because how many hours did she make it after that prayer?
19:24 It was a little over 24, a little over 24 hours.
19:29 From the time she knelt down it was 24 hours later that
19:33 she had passed. So to me I think that God, I want to say
19:37 I am so proud of Him that no matter what it takes He says
19:41 if you are open even the tiniest bit I will not lose you.
19:45 I will not lose you.
19:46 If you are in denial right now with especially
19:50 prescription stuff, call us up, call somebody up.
19:54 Listen to your family and we are going to break right now.
19:56 We are going to come back and I'm going to introduce you
20:00 to Lynn's daughter who will win your heart, she won mine.


Revised 2014-12-17