Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Bobbie Hartman, Tammy Hartman, Haylee Staton
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00085B
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00:13 Welcome back! Do you know what I think is incredible
00:16 about God is that He will stick with us and help us 00:18 to find blind spots and get freedom to our very last breath. 00:23 Sometimes I want to kiss Him on the face for His 00:28 gentleness His patience and His ability to bring things around 00:33 so we can look at it. 00:35 Today we are going to meet some people that have had 00:38 that journey themselves and with the people that 00:41 they have loved and this story really did change me. 00:44 So I want to first say hi Bobby and thank you for 00:48 coming on the program. 00:49 I know you at one point told me I am scared to death. 00:52 Do you still feel that way or are you better? 00:56 I'm better. - Tammy thank you for joining us. 00:59 We are going to talk about how we met first. 01:03 So I would like you to say a little bit starting, 01:06 Bobby, a little bit about yourself and how we met and 01:09 what that journey was like. 01:12 Well I heard you on a program. - one of these programs? 01:17 No it was before Celebrating Life In Recovery. 01:21 It was about you being on drugs and you were so sincere 01:26 on your testimony that I wanted to get in touch with you 01:31 because we knew somebody that was hooked on drugs. 01:35 - what kind of drugs? - It was prescription drugs. 01:39 - when you say hooked on drugs what does that look like? 01:42 A lot of people don't realize what that looks like and 01:45 some of the people listening that is their blind spot 01:49 is that they do not realize that prescription drugs are 01:52 robbing everybody of those relationships. 01:55 So talk about who it is and what did it look like and 01:58 why were you scared for them? 01:59 Her name was Lynn and she existed in this world that said 02:07 I can't function if I don't have this in my system. 02:12 She would do whatever it took to make sure that she still 02:15 had what she thought she needed. 02:17 What did what ever it took look like? 02:21 If she had to make phone calls to somebody to try and get 02:25 some more when she was out. 02:27 - sometimes people will see two and three doctors at the 02:30 time to get prescriptions from all kinds of different 02:34 places, I knew one girl that had 17 surgeries just so she 02:38 could get pain meds and the doctors finally said to her 02:41 the surgery and the scar tissue from the surgery is going 02:44 to kill you and we cannot do any more. 02:46 But when you talk about she will do what ever, what ever 02:51 is huge. - that is how this started was from a surgery 02:58 that the surgery was a success but the surgeon that did 03:06 the surgery had let the incision get infected and she 03:14 had six different infections. 03:16 - so all the pain from that? All the pain from that. 03:20 Lynn is your sister? - yes, she ended up with all these 03:25 infections and they put her on all kinds of pain medicine 03:30 and that is how she got addicted to it. 03:34 So when we met, you are coming for help? - Yes. 03:40 We had this issue and I knew we met at a Women's Retreat. 03:44 - yes and Kansas City. - Whereat? Kansas City. - yes. 03:49 So we met in women's retreat and tell me a little bit 03:53 before we get into what happened after we met and how 03:57 I met or talked with Lynn. 03:59 Tell me a little bit about your sister prior to the 04:04 addictions. - She had some substance abuse as she was 04:10 growing up in her teenage years, early 20s. 04:17 But she had two daughters and was married and had a lot 04:24 better life and she wasn't really into the drugs then. 04:32 She had two girls she loved very much. 04:34 After the surgery is when she got into the drugs and she 04:42 wanted the help, but did not want to leave her kids to do it. 04:51 So when we talk like we talked on the first part 04:54 of the program about sometimes we have these blind spots 04:58 that are huge. 04:59 When did hers develop and what did hers look like as far 05:03 as did she feel it was a problem? Was she aware of what 05:07 kept her strung out and talk about that? 05:10 She thought she could handle it and she thought that 05:15 it wasn't that big of a deal. 05:16 But when she would be out she would even threaten her 05:21 mom with you won't see the kids if I can't get this. 05:25 Wow, so people were blackmailed kind of by her? 05:29 It was pretty intense. - you won't see your grandkids 05:32 if you don't help me? - right. 05:34 Even with that, and I guess the reason is that even with 05:38 that she really didn't see the magnitude of the issue. 05:42 The bigness of the issue and when I meet people that are 05:46 that lost in their addiction you want to shake them but 05:50 you can't because it is truly denial or a blind spot. 05:53 A lot of people talk about they step into denial, they 05:57 rationalize their behavior and you saw all of that with 06:00 your sister, aye? - yes, she would try to get the 06:08 painkillers, she would loan her car out to get these. 06:19 Or she would sell something, anything like that. 06:22 She would try to steal from other people in the family. 06:30 Would it be okay to say that became her only focus? 06:38 Her main focus, yes, not her only because her kids 06:44 are still part of. - she could still come through 06:50 that and love on her kids. - Yes! 06:52 We are going to talk with Hayley her daughter on the 06:55 second half of the program, so we will meet her. 06:59 It is really tough, my parents were addicts. 07:02 Even though the focus to still on us it is hard because 07:06 they are removed, there are take enough of the pain meds 07:11 and not enough sleep and they are focused on something 07:15 else so intently that the kids do lose some. 07:19 But you are saying that she still tried to be a parent? 07:24 Right. - Tell me about how you brought me into her life. 07:28 Because to me I think that with the Ministry it is really 07:33 interesting to be a part of somebody's journey 07:35 even a tiny bit. 07:39 Well I saw you on a show and then I got a hold of the number 07:44 for True Step Ministries and I called and found out that 07:48 you are going to be in Kansas City which wasn't that far 07:51 from where we lived. 07:53 So I went up to the Women's Retreat only I went the night 07:55 before so that you and I could have a chance to talk. 07:59 I was really interested in making sure that we connected 08:04 so that I could find help to figure out how to let her 08:08 have a better life. 08:10 And we connected? - Yes! - talked? - yes! 08:13 Hung out by the pool and chatted for a while. - Yep! 08:16 What happened next? Because I know that you told her 08:22 that you gave her some of the videos? 08:24 Yes we was watching on the first series of Celebrating 08:28 Life and was watching one, I would tape them and would 08:32 bring them to her and we would watch it. 08:34 And on the very next to the last one she said that she 08:39 wished that she could have a relationship that was sincere 08:43 with God and we shut the tape down and she said a prayer. 08:48 And she asked God into her life. 08:50 You know what is amazing to me is the fact that sometimes 08:55 we do programs and we don't realize that this is life 09:00 changing, when people actually get it. 09:02 That blind spot, that place where you have hid in your 09:06 addiction, and I have had that spot and have been in that 09:09 place, but that place you have hid in your addiction 09:13 all of a sudden the light of God just illuminates that 09:16 spot and maybe for the first time you raise your hand 09:19 and say I need some help. I'm done. 09:23 She came to that moment. I wish I would have been in 09:26 the living room. 09:28 Outside of being on tape I wish I could have physically 09:31 been in the living room. 09:33 So you stopped the program, you prayed? Yes she asked God into 09:39 her life and then we started the tape again and she said 09:43 that she needed help and I had your cell phone number 09:46 so I went and called you and you are on a plane getting 09:49 ready to go so we connected and tried to find her 09:54 the help that she needed. 09:57 We do interventions all over the country, now internationally 10:01 even were we get to come in and work with people and 10:06 I love being able to be in that place where somebody 10:10 is going to change things and come out of those 10:13 addictions, and I love doing that. 10:16 We got to do a little bit with you guys at that point. 10:21 When we talk about her getting to a point where she sees 10:25 that she needs help, where she accepts Christ 10:28 in to her life, at that point I may want to talk with you 10:32 Tammy, at that point she was pretty sick. 10:37 She was real sick so what did that look like? 10:41 She couldn't stay awake at all, she would try to eat and 10:50 fall asleep in her food. 10:55 She was just, we were real close in getting her the help 11:02 that she needed. 11:04 So let me just say her body, how was her kidneys, liver, 11:09 and all that stuff? 11:11 Everything was shutting down. - everything was shutting 11:14 down, so we are not talking about if somebody hears that 11:16 they may think that she is so high that she is falling 11:19 asleep in her food and that but at that point her addiction, 11:24 her organs were shutting down. 11:27 Her heart was affected and all that stuff. 11:29 To me that amazes me more than anything else about how our 11:34 addiction is that we are totally blinded to that. 11:39 Even our body is screaming out, everybody around us is 11:44 scared to death. 11:45 We are pulling people in from all over the place, yet the 11:49 person that is involved says I'm okay, I can handle this. 11:52 So when we talk about blind spots, but we talk about even 11:56 here today when we talk about really looking at what the 12:00 truth is about your life, the reason we are talking about 12:03 that is it is a life-and-death thing. 12:06 When you get to that point you have to listen to the 12:09 people around you and she was still having a little bit of 12:13 a difficulty doing that all way to the end? - yes! 12:19 What happened next? - At the very end she was still getting 12:27 all the drugs anyway she could the last night that she 12:35 was alive, she had went to bed, she had stayed with me and 12:42 I found her the next morning. - she died in her sleep? 12:49 She died in her sleep and the autopsy said 12:53 her heart gave out. 12:54 And at that point, I want to say I am so sorry, but at 12:59 that point you guys were looking for treatments. 13:02 She was wanting to make a change and those things and the 13:06 one thing I want to say is that I've always been blessed 13:09 when I have heard what happened to Lynn, is that she came 13:13 back to a place where she was getting her life back 13:17 together and literally had invited God back into that 13:21 takeover for me I'm powerless here. 13:23 So on the day that He comes back and the resurrection, 13:27 happens, I get to say hi, do you know what I mean? 13:31 You guys get to say hello. 13:35 She said that whenever I was getting back with God and 13:38 was getting baptized and I was happy and cheerful, 13:45 she said I want what you have. 13:49 She was watching your life change at the time this was 13:53 happening you are coming back to Christ and she saw the 13:58 peace that was coming into your life. - Uh Hmmm. Yes! 14:03 So how was it, and I want you to think about this before 14:08 you answer because for a lot of us that are left, somebody 14:12 makes a decision and in denial all the way to the end 14:16 really and not realizing that you are killing yourself. 14:19 How is it to have to take the next breath after you find her? 14:24 Because you have to live. How has that been for you? 14:32 Very hard! It's one of those situations where I don't 14:37 really wish that on my worst enemy. 14:40 If I had one I would just, it was hard to keep it together 14:47 for her daughters and I have custody of one. 14:56 But when I found her I called 911 and it was too late. 15:06 But everything in you had hoped this was going to be the 15:09 change? - yes! - Both of you were in the hopes that this 15:13 was going to be it and she was going to get help? 15:16 Yes we were looking, we had called several places and 15:19 were looking to get her in somewhere and she died before 15:22 we had that opportunity. 15:24 You know that was probably the heartbreak for me is that 15:31 there was not a place she could come, as soon as you got that 15:34 first call, and you know that we are looking at building 15:38 a center right now so that never happens again. 15:41 If somebody calls us we can just say get on a plane and 15:44 come out because that was the sadness of that. 15:48 I really believe that the damage had been done to the 15:51 point it might not have made a difference. 15:55 But you know there is always that question. 16:05 God, you see I was in the turmoil myself on where to move 16:12 the change in my life, stay around for her and the girls 16:19 or go live somewhere else. 16:20 - have a fresh start for yourself? 16:22 And I kept on praying to God what should I do? 16:26 I feel like He, in a way, answered my prayer after two 16:31 or three months of praying. 16:32 Lynn's body was just giving out and He went ahead and took 16:39 her - and gave her a rest. She really needed to rest. 16:45 She has been through a lot in her life. 16:47 We are not going to get into right now what led up to 16:51 those addictions being so severe because usually it is 16:54 not the drugs that lead up to that it is the pain or the 16:57 things that she has gone through in her past. 16:59 What happened in childhood, what happens throughout her 17:01 early adulthood and all that stuff. 17:03 You know those things in detail probably? 17:06 A lot of it yes. 17:09 So the only thing I wanted to say is that I am so sorry 17:15 for your loss, I'm sorry that it ended up happening in 17:21 the way it did, but there is a joy. 17:23 Talk about even that because you got to see her come to 17:27 Christ, you got to see that hope in her eyes and so what 17:30 did that do for you Bobby? 17:32 It motivated me because then I called you and I was trying 17:36 to get her help when she asked for help. 17:38 Did it seem real to you? Yes, very real. It was great! 17:47 To me that's what I want even now as we talk about Lynn is 17:51 what I want to honor her with is that moment when she knew 17:55 she did not have to be lost in this darkness for ever. 17:58 That she knew that the Holy Spirit, that God Himself 18:01 said I see you down there. 18:03 There is nothing too dark that I cannot see through. 18:08 That's what I feel like she really got that message 18:11 from God, is that I know how you feel lost, I know that 18:15 you feel trapped in all this stuff but I am God and 18:19 My hand can reach you and He did. 18:22 Yeah He did. Which was an absolute miracle through 18:27 all those drugs, for all that prescription and all those 18:30 lies she had told herself for a while, through all that 18:33 were she backed into the darkness and God said, 18:36 I've got you, I've got you. 18:41 With the prescription is what made it harder to get her 18:44 the help because they said it's not like just stopping 18:47 somebody from drugs, she's still has to have some medicine 18:50 and it has to be controlled. 18:52 It has to be slowly taken off? - right! 18:54 So that made it less options of places she could go. 18:59 So we are going to take a break and I want to introduce 19:03 everybody to Haley and talk about from her perspective 19:09 what happened, but I want you to know that the joy I have 19:14 right now is that prayer that she said on her last day. 19:19 Because how many hours did she make it after that prayer? 19:24 It was a little over 24, a little over 24 hours. 19:29 From the time she knelt down it was 24 hours later that 19:33 she had passed. So to me I think that God, I want to say 19:37 I am so proud of Him that no matter what it takes He says 19:41 if you are open even the tiniest bit I will not lose you. 19:45 I will not lose you. 19:46 If you are in denial right now with especially 19:50 prescription stuff, call us up, call somebody up. 19:54 Listen to your family and we are going to break right now. 19:56 We are going to come back and I'm going to introduce you 20:00 to Lynn's daughter who will win your heart, she won mine. |
Revised 2014-12-17