Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Martin Weber
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00074B
00:15 Welcome back, I want to start, we were talking about the
00:18 book we are giving out this season.
00:20 'Pressing In' by Shelley Quinn and I want to say that
00:23 there is really an important thing about learning to
00:26 ask God and when someone uses a learning to pray
00:30 I didn't know what that meant.
00:31 I was so new, but on Philippians 4:8, 9.
00:35 I love this concept because it says, and now dear
00:40 brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing, I close
00:44 this with fixing your thoughts on what is true,
00:47 honorable, right, think about these things, what ever
00:51 it is pure, lovely, admirable, think about these
00:53 things, whatever's excellent, what is worthy of praise.
00:58 I want to paraphrase that, and say when you start to
01:01 change, really ask God, or ask the people around you to
01:05 really check you up about what you think about,
01:08 what you let run in your head.
01:10 If I'm going to change, I'm going to change everything.
01:13 Like the Bible says to renew your mind, literally allow the
01:18 Holy Spirit to come in and help you to be different completely,
01:22 don't allow yourself, I don't have the luxury
01:25 that some people have to just think about negative things
01:27 and let it just run in their heads.
01:29 Because if I do that I want to escape and when I escape
01:32 I go to my addictions, so I have to really say God teach
01:35 me to think good thoughts.
01:37 Teach me to go outside and take a deep breath and enjoy
01:40 looking around, teach me that kind of stuff.
01:42 As an addict I want to just say, let Him teach you.
01:45 If you don't know how to let Him teach you, get a
01:49 sponsor, a Pastor, a church group, join someplace where
01:52 somebody is going to confront you all those things.
01:55 Now I'd like to introduce you to the buzzard.
01:58 The first time I saw poster of this guy, they literally
02:01 had him shaped as a buzzard.
02:03 So I want to say, thank you Mark for joining the program.
02:06 Tell us about that and how you got that nickname.
02:09 Well it has nothing to do with my diet first of all.
02:11 - okay good, because you're vegetarian?
02:14 Yeah, it has been 40 years since I've had lunch with
02:17 Ronald McDonald and has nothing to do with the way
02:20 I treat people as well.
02:23 It has to do with actually a police dispatcher named me,
02:28 she named me that because every time, as a chaplain,
02:33 they had a coroner situation they would call for me.
02:38 I had developed a specialty for doing that as a chaplain.
02:41 So they would say hey, send for the buzzard.
02:44 So every time someone died, killed themselves,
02:46 was murdered, you got a phone call?
02:50 Yeah, I was the go to guy if I was available.
02:54 Now of course the buzzard, law enforcement officers
02:59 have to live with the sadness all of time so they
03:04 developed a gallows humor and so, the buzzard.
03:08 - very funny because that's what I thought,
03:12 if something was dead, you were there.
03:14 Yes, I was there.
03:16 So I want to find out before we even get to what you
03:21 did for a living, I want to find out who you are?
03:25 I love to figure out how did God lead somebody,
03:29 what was your journey like.
03:30 You never got into chemical addictions or
03:34 any of that stuff, hey? - None of what you would
03:37 categorize normally as addictions.
03:40 With me my addiction had to do the approval of people.
03:43 - That is a huge one though!
03:45 Oh yes, to this day I struggle with it all the time,
03:48 to find my identity in what people think of me instead
03:52 of what God thinks of me.
03:53 What's interesting is I wrote a book, 'A Miracle From
03:57 the Street' about coming out of all those addictions.
04:00 Sometimes I will be speaking in a church and people that
04:04 have such incredible back- grounds will say I so related
04:07 to that and I'm thinking how?
04:09 It's that sense of wanting to fit in or belong and all
04:13 those kinds of insecurities.
04:14 So that is as binding as any addiction.
04:17 Absolutely, I deal with it everyday.
04:19 I have to discover again who I am.
04:21 - and believe the truth about yourself?
04:24 - yes, exactly! - it's huge.
04:25 But you are okay? - yeah, it's like as a child growing
04:32 up, my dad, should I get into this right now?
04:34 - we love this stuff.
04:36 My dad was a war hero, he was a war hero.
04:39 He won a Silver Star in World War II defeating the Nazis.
04:43 He came back and married a German war bride and brought
04:46 her back to the United States and figured hey, this is a
04:49 great way to raise a family, it won the war.
04:51 So force and fear you know.
04:54 So he, in his Bible, he actually crossed out grace and
04:58 put works, and crossed out love and put fear
05:02 there in his Bible.
05:04 He raised us that way so we were afraid of him, afraid of
05:06 God, afraid of everything.
05:08 - what is really tough for me hearing you, is that there
05:12 is a part of him, I'm sure, thought he was do the right
05:16 thing, that I love my son and I want to stand him up.
05:19 I want him to be a man.
05:21 Yes, he thought he was helping us to do just that but
05:26 instead we were all very fear to this day is the predominant
05:31 characteristic that I have, it is my default thing and
05:35 unless I am filled with the Spirit and I can remember who
05:39 I am and who God is that I can face it with confidence.
05:42 Otherwise fear has it.
05:45 - when we talked about the whole radar thing where you
05:46 get stuck at, that's where you get stuck at?
05:48 Yes exactly. - not being afraid of getting stuck there
05:50 now I know I have turn this over.
05:52 Sure exactly. - because that is not the truth of my
05:55 existence. - that's right it's true.
05:57 Growing up like that must've been really tough.
06:00 Yea, we ran away, my mom took us away seven times,
06:04 but she always ran out of money and we had come home.
06:07 In my life, 22 times, I counted them the other day.
06:12 22 times we moved because somebody was either mad at us
06:16 or we couldn't pay the rent, or something,
06:19 we were on the run I guess.
06:21 A person would call us White trash can just always
06:26 unable to settle down.
06:29 The depth of how that, in our own mind, not in God's
06:35 mind, in our own mind identifies us.
06:37 This is who I am, this is whom I'm always going to be.
06:42 That is such an incredible addiction and hard to get
06:46 out of, because then we see the world and anything that
06:49 validates that view we pull into our lives.
06:52 So how did you get out of that?
06:56 Because you know I wish I could say, wish I could say
06:59 it in a deeper way because I don't think people realize
07:03 that is in every fiber of your body.
07:05 You are really checking whether you are safe no matter
07:09 where you are at, whether I fit in where I'm at,
07:11 what people are thinking about me where I'm at,
07:14 it is so much in your fiber and coming out of that is
07:17 more of a miracle than, I think parting the Red Sea.
07:20 Somebody says God parted the Red Sea and I thought I saw Him
07:23 change a life of an addict today.
07:24 I think that is more of a thing, I saw Him give somebody
07:27 that was afraid their whole life the courage to walk
07:31 away from that fear.
07:32 To me I just want to kiss Him on the face when
07:35 I see that, because I want to say, God how do You
07:37 do that for this kid?
07:39 So how did He do that for you?
07:41 Yeah, actually things got a little worse before they
07:44 got better, as I got into my teenage years I had delayed
07:48 puberty and my voice didn't change.
07:50 I was always the youngest in my class as well so that deeply
07:55 affected my self-worth, issues so
07:58 I had I was really at the bottom of the social
08:00 totem pole so to speak.
08:02 - and being teased and all that stuff.
08:06 All that unkindness and all that which helped developed
08:10 in me a real sense for the oppressed, a real desire to
08:13 help the victim, a real desire to help people in trouble.
08:16 - to see them even. - yes, yes, yes.
08:20 What really helped me get out of that, and as you say
08:23 journey, but what started me on a journey was the birth
08:27 of my son, holding him in my arms.
08:30 The first time I held him, I instantly perceived that all
08:35 this stuff I had experienced from my father, all the stuff
08:40 I had been taught about God, was all a lie.
08:44 There was this whole set of emotions that I didn't even
08:49 know existed and they were all there just holding my son.
08:53 So it started there and then I started looking in the
08:57 Bible from a different way.
09:00 I would see things in the Psalms I never understood
09:02 before about God being a father.
09:05 This compassion for my son, and this compassion I now
09:13 knew that God had for me to feel special.
09:16 - you allowed that in for the first time,
09:19 because of your son it sounds like.
09:20 Uh-huh, uh-huh. - because there is that sense that
09:23 I could know that unless I allowed it in.
09:26 Unless I allow it to penetrate, is not going to change me.
09:29 But it sounds like you just said, okay, I surrender.
09:33 I did, I did and there are other stuff in terms of legalism
09:39 and stuff that I was coming out of with my wife.
09:41 Both of us were on this journey together.
09:43 That's where it started, and seeing all these Scriptures
09:47 that I had read before but overlooked.
09:50 I found them very healing to me.
09:52 - can you think of some of them?
09:55 Because you know God is our friend was one for me.
09:57 You know those are really powerful.
10:00 Psalms 73, where it says, "so foolish was I and ignorant,
10:04 "I was like a beast before you, nevertheless I am always
10:09 "with you, you hold me by my right hand, you guide me
10:14 "with your counsel and afterword you receive me into glory. "
10:18 A you know you could just see that Father image,
10:21 let Me just have your hand and let Me walk you.
10:24 I mean you could just see that whole father image.
10:26 When I saw something like that and I'm sure it's true for
10:30 a lot of people watching, when I saw stuff like that in
10:33 the Bible, I just wanted to weep, I thought I didn't know
10:37 that Your heart was so towards me.
10:40 That is huge, that's huge.
10:42 God healed me to the point where a friend of mine,
10:45 I was doing telecast scripts with him for the
10:48 It Is Written telecast, and he said you know, through
10:53 watching you raise your kids, our kids grew up together.
10:57 He said I understood about father love, God is my Father
11:01 in a way that I had never witnessed before.
11:04 I thought wow to come out of that into - healing be so
11:08 full circle that somebody is saying I want model myself
11:13 after how you love your son.
11:15 Yes, yes, yes! And he actually wrote a script about and
11:17 changed the name around, but I thought praise God.
11:23 How incredible, so as God healed you, you never lost
11:27 that sense of wanting to come in and step in for the
11:31 victim or the underdog, so did that lead
11:33 you into your vocation then?
11:35 It did, it did, I was a Pastor these years in Arizona.
11:40 - I could see you as a Pastor.
11:41 Well thank you, in other words I preach like...
11:45 - no you have such love your eyes.
11:48 I was a member of the ministerial Association and the
11:52 Baptist Pastor there who is the head of that said,
11:56 I really think that you could be a police chaplain.
11:59 We will train you, so I said good and he did.
12:03 So I found myself, all of a sudden, in all these
12:06 situations and there was a part of me that really loves
12:09 excitement, - you have some there!
12:13 Every time the siren goes off, something happens.
12:17 It is not only a physical emergency, but it is a profound
12:20 emotional and spiritual emergency as well.
12:23 - because people forget, sometimes when the chaplain
12:25 is called, or the police are called, you have an entire
12:28 community of families around whatever the event is.
12:31 You cannot just deal with an event without picking up
12:36 the collateral damage, and so I like the fact that you
12:41 said, there is more to it than just
12:42 responding to the call.
12:44 But I have to ask you one thing, because I came from that
12:48 darker side and I know that some of the stuff you see is
12:53 incredibly ugly, you know what I mean?
12:57 You see people that are able to step in and do some
13:01 horrendous acts of violence against someone else,
13:06 so how did you as a Pastor, how did you acclimate,
13:11 how did you get used to that?
13:12 There was one experience in particular when they had
13:18 just picked up a guy for first-degree murder,
13:20 they charged him with that.
13:22 Instead of wanting to see a lawyer, he wanted to see a
13:24 chaplain, this is a guy who just murdered a woman in
13:27 the act of committing rape and it was this aggravated
13:30 situation as had been an in the county for years.
13:34 So they called me in and they put me in the room.
13:37 Thank God there were bars between us.
13:40 They shut the door and the first thing he does is
13:44 confess first-degree murder.
13:46 - in that case most the time they want to tell you the all
13:50 the details. - yes. - because part of our illness is that.
13:54 He wanted some quick absolutions father I have sinned
13:57 like I was a priest or something.
14:00 I said you know I can talk to you about God and His
14:04 forgiveness, but I need you to know first of all that
14:08 I'm not going to get involved in the police aspect,
14:12 the law and defense, the legal defense of that.
14:14 We are just going to be talking about the spiritual
14:17 side of this and so I told him about Jesus.
14:23 I told them that, "he who covers his sins shall not
14:26 "prosper but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall
14:29 "have mercy. " And he accepted it right then and there.
14:33 We prayed together, but you know Cheri after
14:35 leaving him, I felt weird.
14:40 I felt weird because I thought I believe in grace,
14:44 but grace for this guy I could even see the blood on his
14:48 his cuticles from his victim, grace for this guy
14:50 was a little too radical, a little too quick,
14:52 too soon and I almost felt like I had done something
14:57 wrong in helping this guy feel forgiven.
15:01 - and find peace. - and find peace.
15:02 Because you can see it in his eyes, if he believed you
15:04 he had found peace, and maybe for the first time.
15:08 Yeah, I felt hey, then I got to remind myself, well,
15:14 aren't we all sinners? Don't we all exist by grace?
15:19 - you know even for some of the addicts watching and don't
15:22 understand the concept of sinners, I just want to say,
15:25 aren't we all twisted?
15:27 Don't we all have that stuff within us, that we struggle
15:30 with, some are definitely are tormented unto the point of
15:34 what you are talking about.
15:35 What you are saying is, isn't it incredible that there
15:39 is a God who says! - yes, yes!
15:42 So I had to deal with that, so I had to say you know I'm
15:46 saved by grace, by God's mercy, by God's kindness through
15:51 Jesus so I better embrace this grace.
15:55 He did and he decided to plead guilty and he went off
16:01 to the state penitentiary and was giving Bible studies.
16:07 So it really confronts the fact that when you see it to
16:11 that level it confronts the fact of how big is God's
16:16 forgiveness, how big is His love towards us.
16:18 Some of it in our own human sense makes no sense at all
16:23 because I want someone to pay.
16:26 When I first read the story about the demoniac,
16:28 I thought surely that guy is going to have to pay,
16:31 Christ walked up to Him, and not even smart enough not
16:34 to cuss Him out, first thing he does is cusses Him out.
16:37 God hears that small cry in his heart and pulls all the
16:41 demons out, literally brings his life around.
16:44 So you see that time and time again.
16:47 What did it do for your connection with God?
16:53 To see God's mercy to that level?
16:56 Sometimes we see His mercy just on simple things,
16:59 but that is so deep.
17:02 Sure, well there is a morbid illustration of that,
17:06 if I could share it?
17:08 The Bible says we are all dead in trespasses and sins,
17:11 in our own addictions what ever they may be.
17:14 If you could just picture a morgue, like I said this
17:18 is morbid, but it makes a good point I think.
17:21 Can you imagine one corpse, if corpses could talk,
17:24 arguing with another corpse saying I'm not as messed
17:27 up as you are. - how dead are you? - yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:30 I'm not as messed up as you are, you look like you were
17:33 hit by a train, but me my hair is not even messed up.
17:36 Just a little bullet hole and you might not even see it.
17:39 So I am not as bad off as you are.
17:41 Wow, they are all dead, they all have a tag on their toe.
17:45 Yes, yes, so for me to realize that hey, we are all in
17:50 that morgue until Jesus came along and rescued us.
17:54 I love that, because I love the fact that I don't have
17:58 to compare myself with you, my addictions with you,
18:02 my inability to live out loud and enjoy my life.
18:05 If I'm damaged, I'm damaged and I need to reach out
18:09 to who can fix that.
18:10 That is huge, that is a great illustration.
18:13 Tell us some of the stories you have been through.
18:17 Talk about them. - Sure, let's see.
18:21 There was a time when the beeper went off in the middle
18:24 of the night, and of course that is always trouble.
18:29 Usually a death notification, in this case particularly
18:33 it was a 15-year-old boy, who had just saw
18:37 his dad kill his mother.
18:38 Here they brought him into the station and
18:42 they called me in, they couldn't even interview him,
18:45 he was so traumatized.
18:47 The first thing they had me do was to tell him he
18:51 couldn't wash his hands, the blood of his mother and
18:54 brother, I should back up a bit.
18:57 His dad had been abusive, mother had to put him out.
19:02 She lived in the house with the two teenage boys and
19:07 then he started calling right about sundown.
19:11 He would say look out and see the sunset, isn't it
19:13 beautiful? Enjoy it because it is one of the last you will see
19:16 and he wasn't kidding.
19:18 He broke in about midnight and the boys woke up and heard
19:22 their mother screaming and their father shouting.
19:24 He had broken in so they ran downstairs and he grabbed
19:29 the phone and dialed 911 on the way.
19:31 He was a few steps behind his brother who got shot the
19:34 moment he entered the bedroom.
19:36 The father shot his mother and then shot himself.
19:39 So he comes in and there are three people, his three
19:43 dearest people in the world, dying right there.
19:46 He runs from one to the other, getting his hands all
19:48 bloody and the police come in.
19:51 And you have tell them he can't wash the evidence away.
19:54 Yeah, the gunshot residue and so to explain that to him.
19:59 Then just to calm him down so he could be interviewed.
20:03 That was his story that his father shot them, but they
20:07 have to make, sure of course, that he is.
20:12 But just to help that poor 15 year old guy through the
20:16 darkest night of his life, and then one day dawned and
20:21 the press is all outside wanting to talk to him.
20:24 The first day of the rest of his life, how to cope
20:27 with that, - how to stand back up. - yes!
20:29 In any sense how to breathe again.
20:31 I don't know if this question is appropriate,
20:38 I'm thinking in my mind, when I see addictions every day,
20:43 and I see the ugliness of that and molest, all this
20:46 tragedy that we go through in life, is how do you keep
20:50 your view of God clean? Do you know what I mean?
20:54 Because we want to somehow pile all the blame on God.
20:57 I know that God really would jump in front of everyone
21:00 of us to make better choices, every one of us to do the
21:03 right thing, He constantly tries to get people to make
21:07 the right choices in their life, and yet He gives us
21:10 that will, how do you allow God not to be so damaged?
21:14 To have blood on His own hands?
21:16 Sure, for me I think of a little parable Jesus told
21:21 about the tares, an enemy has done this.
21:24 Wonderful world you can see in nature,
21:27 where did this evil come from?
21:30 Then the great controversy between good and evil,
21:34 the narrative of how God created the perfect universe.
21:39 How Lucifer became proud and power-hungry and such.
21:44 It gives us a narrative that helps me understand that there
21:48 is a loving God, and there was none of this stuff
21:51 going on when He had His way and there will be closure,
21:55 there will be none of this stuff going on after
21:57 He wraps things up.
22:00 The only reason He allows things to keep going right now
22:03 is because He is so merciful, He wants all the Cheri's
22:08 and Martin's to understand the difference between light
22:13 and darkness, healing and addiction, health and disease.
22:18 So when this good news is received, then God is going to
22:22 put an end to all that and there will be once again,
22:27 this beautiful Eden.
22:29 So you keep the larger picture in mind. - sure!
22:33 When someone told me one time, that I was molested since
22:37 I was three months old by my father who died in a crack
22:41 house strung out, and when someone said Cheri you know
22:46 God allowed this, I just had to take that to prayer.
22:50 I remember almost be an angry, what do you mean?
22:54 God that can't be true, and all of a sudden I got this clear
22:57 picture in our own addictions is that if He could stop
23:01 everybody from acting out, from being insecure,
23:03 from being afraid, from be an angry, and choosing to do
23:06 meth, and all that stuff.
23:08 If I could stop all that, I would come but you have the
23:11 freedom of your own choice.
23:13 Of your own will, and it is so important for God to give
23:17 us that ability to be fully human that He said, I am not
23:20 going to override your choice, but I wish I could
23:23 sometimes, because you are hurtful to each other.
23:26 I learned a long time ago that God would have done
23:29 anything to get my father to be a father.
23:31 He did, He approached him in many different ways.
23:34 My family from not using drugs were approached in many
23:37 different ways, and I think every single person that you
23:40 worked with during those incredibly horrendous crimes,
23:43 is I see all of heaven approaching them in so many
23:46 different ways saying, please choose life.
23:49 There is a place the Bible where it says I laid before
23:52 you life or death, choose life.
23:54 I think I have to really look at God as weeping with us
23:58 at these horrendous crimes, it was never His intention
24:02 that we would be this malicious to each other.
24:06 Right, I'm so thankful that God can and does work
24:09 all things for good.
24:10 I mean here you are a host of this television program
24:14 reaching people all over.
24:15 I think the devil is very sorry he messed with your life.
24:18 I never heard that, that is too fun.
24:21 Like I should have just let her alone.
24:23 Not only do you have healing for yourself, but you are
24:27 sharing this comfort and to have a purpose in pain.
24:31 I want to kiss you on the face for that,
24:33 what a nice thing, even the imagery is cool, is that,
24:37 that it is really cool.
24:39 2 Corinthians were it talks about what we suffer, what we
24:44 suffer, that comfort abounds so that whatever suffering
24:48 we are going through, the comfort even more abounds.
24:51 I believe that sometimes, you know we are called priests.
24:54 We are the priest of believers, and priests suffer.
25:00 They deal with stuff that they didn't do, other people's
25:04 messes they help them with.
25:07 Of course everybody has to on their own mess,
25:09 but we are not Messiah's, but we are as priests.
25:12 We are connectors, God has been merciful to me.
25:16 He has brought healing in my life and He could do
25:19 this for you too.
25:21 So that God can work all this pain for good.
25:25 Amen, and then use it.
25:28 I remember the first time I was thinking I'm not going
25:32 to make it, I'm not going to get through this.
25:33 God told me a joke and I thought,
25:36 did You just tell me a joke?
25:38 Because I wanted to say, I just didn't have that picture
25:42 of God that He would say something to make you laugh
25:45 when you are going through some hard times.
25:47 Just been able to get to the point of fully trusting Him.
25:50 So as He is leading you, go back to your vocation, as He
25:54 is leading you into this type of work, as you are
25:59 learning it is amazing to me that you are learning not to
26:03 be afraid, you are confronted with fearful situations all
26:07 the time, and yet God is developing this sense of
26:09 courage in you because of who He is in your walk.
26:13 That just cracks me up, that He hit every point that
26:16 you had as a child.
26:17 Let me talk about that for a second.
26:19 So here I am, my predominant default reaction to life is
26:24 fear, so here I am the buzzard venturing forth into
26:28 these death situations, and I didn't go timidly.
26:32 I went boldly, it just, the Spirit of God came upon me
26:37 and I realized that Christ has conquered death.
26:40 It's a terrible thing, it is an enemy, but it is a
26:43 conquered enemy so we can storm the gates of hell.
26:47 We can go into these situations where people are suffering
26:52 the loss of their loved ones and we can bring
26:53 hope, even though they are in the middle of shock.
26:58 This is the worst night of their life and I'm going to be
27:01 there for them, and I'm going to represent God to them.
27:03 I'm going to help them through that night so that when
27:07 day dawns and their friends wake up, their Pastor or
27:11 priest wakes up and their counselors wake up,
27:14 they are going to be ready to connect with them.
27:16 But tonight I am here for them and it is because
27:19 Jesus conquered death.
27:21 - through the Holy Spirit and through what
27:22 He gives you to say to them. Wow!
27:25 I want you to know that before I went out that door,
27:29 I had my face and the rug for a few seconds before I put
27:32 on my uniform, dear God You have helped me before,
27:36 but tonight I am not going to leave this house to go down
27:41 to the station unless You are with me.
27:44 Of course He always is.
27:45 So the thing about calling you buzzard, if you are around
27:51 or someone died, something dead around that it really was
27:55 that people respected the fact that you could come in and
27:59 bring at least the ability for them to survive the night.
28:04 So to me it makes a lot of sense now they would want you
28:09 there, if I'm a police officer and I know that I'm dealing
28:12 with this tragic thing and have to process all the paperwork,
28:15 I would want somebody that I could turn the family,
28:18 or victims over to and that they will be in the arms
28:22 of a loving individual and therefore a loving God.
28:26 Another thing that helped me is to clearly understand
28:29 what the Bible teaches about death, nobody is in hell
28:33 right now, and no one is floating off by themselves into
28:37 some spirit realm, but death is a sleep.
28:41 Just understanding that I don't have to worry about the
28:48 departed and what's happening with them right now.
28:50 We can deal with this situation and help you get through,
28:54 and respect, and now you may be an agnostic or an
28:58 atheist but I am coming into your home and I'm going to
29:01 look around for artifacts.
29:03 If I do not see any Bibles or religious artifacts I'm not
29:06 going to push God on you. - speak it a different way.
29:11 But still speak it, and for a lot of us we don't assess
29:16 enough, you can walk in and really look around and know
29:19 who you are talking to, and I'm glad somebody did that
29:23 for me when I was a heroine addict in recovery.
29:26 I was a literate and all that stuff and they didn't just
29:29 come in and say do you know what it says in Genesis?
29:32 They really spoke to me in love and helped me stand,
29:35 so been able to do that.
29:37 So we are going to break for a commercial pretty soon,
29:42 but I want to ask you, so your journey with God as you
29:47 come out to of that whole childhood and He is showing
29:51 you to be less afraid, and as you are giving that to
29:55 people in horrendous situations, what is it like for
29:59 you and God right now? Where are you at?
30:01 Well I find every day I need to get up and just
30:06 rediscover for today who I am to God.
30:10 So your maintenance, we're talking about maintenance
30:12 and your maintenance to hook in everyday.
30:15 Who am I, who are you. - I'm not some barnyard chicken
30:19 pecking around there, He made me an eagle in Jesus Christ
30:23 so I soar in the Spirit, to peck around at the barnyard
30:28 looking for a pat on the head at the age of 58, I can soar.
30:33 That is a real good imagery because you are saying that
30:36 if you find your self pecking and looking for the smaller
30:40 things is you have to remind yourself that you are an
30:43 eagle, you are an incredible man of God and fears not
30:47 something that controls your life anymore.
30:48 We are going to go on a break and come back and open
30:51 for questions because I know there are questions.
30:55 I just have to say that I really enjoyed the fact,
30:59 I laughed at the buzzard thing, that people called you
31:02 the buzzard, I laughed I was overwhelmed by what you do
31:05 for a living, because I read your book, 'God Was There'
31:08 and so even in that I looked at some of the stuff you did
31:13 but had no idea really the extent of fear you walk through
31:17 life with and that God Himself is saying that is your
31:20 recovery is to deal with this fear.
31:22 I'm proud of how He is doing it with you.
31:24 We are to go ahead and take a break and come back and
31:26 ask the people at the café if they have any questions and
31:29 I think you are really going to enjoy this next part as
31:32 much as the testimony.
31:34 So stay with us, we will be right back!