Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Martin Weber
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00074A
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery, I'm Cheri.
00:13 Today I'm going to introduce you to a guy they call the
00:16 buzzard because if he is around it mean something is dead.
00:46 Welcome, so this season is exciting to me because we're
00:50 talking about a number of things.
00:51 One of them is maintenance, so I'm going to recap what
00:56 we've done on other seasons, at other times.
00:58 When I stop a drug, when I stopped sexually acting out,
01:03 when I stop an addiction of any kind, when I decide that
01:07 I'm actually going to turn my life over to God
01:11 and let Him heal me.
01:13 When I get to that point with whatever the issue is,
01:15 it's like, how do I explain this?
01:19 It's like buying a ticket to a program, we've talked about
01:22 this before, if I'm going to go to a theater and see a
01:25 movie, I first have to buy a ticket.
01:27 Stopping the addiction is like buying a ticket, it is not
01:30 the movie, you know what I mean.
01:32 We have got to get that so clear, it is not the movie.
01:35 Is the ticket to get in, so stopping our addiction is the
01:38 ticket to get in and then as we start to step into that part,
01:41 I'm outside of my addiction most of us, I'm going to
01:46 talk about myself, I don't know how to stand.
01:48 I don't know how to think, I don't know how to act.
01:51 When someone says act normal, I don't know what that
01:54 means, what do you mean by that I've been
01:55 an addict for a long time.
01:57 What ever addiction means to you, I've been
01:59 that for a long time.
02:00 So you step into this part of addiction and
02:04 do this transition thing, that I am no longer
02:07 an addict, I'm no longer running to my addictions.
02:10 I'm going to go over my list of things that is important
02:17 to know about this.
02:18 The transition part, I'm going to transition into that
02:21 freedom from addiction.
02:24 Part of the transition is that I am going to actually
02:26 start to bargain first.
02:28 We'll maybe I could do just a little bit of the addiction.
02:31 Maybe I could just act out on weekends.
02:34 I could do all that stuff, so you transition and get
02:37 through that stage and you realize that if it is bad
02:40 for you, is bad for you.
02:42 Even a little bit is bad, a lot is worse,
02:45 but it is bad for you.
02:46 The next one is stabilization, I love this.
02:48 Just imagine that I am not steady on my feet and I start
02:53 to stabilize, that is part of the process.
02:55 Early recovery is that I'm going to change my attitudes
02:58 and beliefs about the addiction.
02:59 So changing your attitudes and beliefs about the addiction
03:02 is, I used to think the only way that I was going to get
03:05 through life, the only way that I didn't want to die,
03:08 the only way I can socialize as is if I was high.
03:11 I really believed that, I started doing drugs at 12.
03:13 Whatever your addiction is, and when you start, you really
03:16 believe that this is the only way to deal with stress.
03:19 Well I had to change that, I had to learn different ways.
03:22 So early recovery is just changing the beliefs and
03:25 attitudes about the addiction.
03:26 If you are having eating disorders, if you are a food
03:30 addict, to eat a $160 worth of food in one setting is going
03:38 to damage you, the weight and all that stuff.
03:41 So you start look at the issue and realize that I have to
03:46 change my beliefs about that issue.
03:48 It is huge!
03:49 The next one in recovery is that I am going to repair the
03:52 damage that was caused by my addiction.
03:54 Sometimes, we could just trash ourselves and other people.
04:00 It really is a time at looking at repairing the damage
04:04 I've caused a my own life and in the lives of other
04:08 people and all its stuff.
04:09 I'm going to start doing that.
04:11 I'm going to evaluate some goals, what do I want in my
04:14 life? And that is a scary place for some people.
04:18 For me it was real scary is that I never did dare to dream
04:20 about anything, when I looked at myself I looked at
04:22 myself as a damaged child, an unwanted child,
04:26 I was illiterate at 23, I don't know how to do anything,
04:30 I look at myself as all that.
04:32 God, and the people around me that are brought into my
04:35 life, started speaking truth into my life.
04:37 Your incredible, look at you.
04:40 I love to sit and laugh with you.
04:42 When people would say that it would hit me, who me?
04:45 I really don't have anything, no I love you.
04:48 So it is reevaluating that and the middle part of
04:51 recovery is so fun, you really start to accept the changes
04:55 made in your life, maybe, maybe I can have a life.
04:59 I want to tell you that I just wept.
05:00 When people read Jeremiah 29:11 that God had a plan for
05:04 my life and a future, He really wanted to stand up.
05:07 He delights in my recovery, Zephaniah says He sings over me.
05:11 I just wanted to cry because I thought,
05:14 are you kidding me? I am just an addict, God said no,
05:17 you have never been just an addict, you are My child.
05:21 You are everything to Me.
05:22 Even people that you gather around you at this
05:25 point in your life, you want to gather round people that
05:27 would just tell you the truth about that.
05:30 Late recovery, and this is the funniest part.
05:33 I can't even tell you how amazing this part is.
05:35 Late recovery says, that I am going to see myself as
05:39 something other than what I have seen myself my whole
05:43 life, I'm going to see myself not as a unwanted child,
05:47 But as a woman fully capable of taking on life.
05:51 Fully capable of doing whatever God calls me to do.
05:55 Whatever I choose to do, fully capable of that.
05:59 I think for a lot of addicts we stop at the fact that
06:03 we are clean, and I think all of heaven says don't stop
06:07 there because I know who you are.
06:10 I know how you laugh out loud, I know the things you are
06:12 going to do in your life, I know the things that are
06:15 going to wake up your passion so that you can literally
06:19 wake up in the morning anticipating an incredible day,
06:22 changing the lives of the people around you.
06:25 So late recovery is building depth and meaning into your
06:28 life, for a lot of addicts we don't get there.
06:30 I'm begging you, get there.
06:32 But this season we are not talking about that we are
06:35 talking about maintenance.
06:36 Maintenance is a fun thing, so now I have gone through
06:40 those transitions, transition and stabilization in early
06:44 recovery, middle recovery and have gone through that.
06:48 So now I'm getting into a place where I'm going to
06:51 maintain my recovery.
06:54 So what do I do to do that, part of maintenance, what it
06:57 means is that I'm going to learn to enjoy the journey.
07:00 Not the journey from addictions, because we have
07:04 dealt with that, but the journey in life.
07:07 I'm going to celebrate life.
07:09 Part of what this program was called, Celebrating Life
07:12 In Recovery is because every addiction has to get to the
07:15 point where you are on your feet looking up.
07:20 You have people around you that are amazing and they will
07:23 help you celebrate who you are, who God is, what life is
07:27 about and so that is this part of maintenance.
07:29 We are going to talk about that, the book for this season
07:31 even talks about that, Shelley Quinn's new book called,
07:34 'Pressing In', we are going to learn how to communicate
07:39 with God and really pray and take advantage of everything
07:43 that God wants to pour into you.
07:44 God has got a ton of stuff He wants to teach you,
07:47 especially if you have never been taught who you are and
07:49 how valuable you are.
07:51 God says let me have at you everyday and I will show you
07:56 exactly who you are.
07:57 This last time we want to look at on almost a daily basis,
08:04 this maintenance stage on a daily basis.
08:06 I want to look at what happened today, know what I mean?
08:10 I am all of a sudden, I've been there, I work with addicts
08:14 all the time, and sometimes I will be working with
08:18 somebody and my mouth tastes these chemicals and I'm
08:23 starting to itch and I'm thinking what just happened?
08:28 With a person's high I start to really smell and take on
08:33 that, the addict in me, I even stand different.
08:36 Like, you know dude and pretty soon I want to get high and
08:41 I'm getting triggered with all that stuff.
08:43 So in this maintenance thing, if that happens to you,
08:46 literally look at that, and don't be afraid of that.
08:49 What just happened? I know that I was around an addict
08:52 and smell the drug again and I'm starting to get tempted.
08:56 People with sexual addiction, it could be somebody walked
08:59 by, they have a sexy outfit on, or if it is a guy they
09:03 have these tight clothes on, or they smiled at you,
09:06 what ever it is the point where the addict jumps up again.
09:12 Hey, remember me? You just have to say wait, stop.
09:16 At that point saying stop is really saying to yourself
09:20 that I want to reevaluate that, as soon as it happens.
09:23 I do not want to be afraid of it, nor think that it's
09:26 never going to happen, turn that over right away.
09:28 For some people in some recovery groups they will say,
09:32 I will call my sponsor.
09:33 If you do not have a sponsor, God is right there,
09:36 you can call Him.
09:37 Sponsors, friends, pastors, people that love you.
09:40 In this stage you just realize that you can call someone.
09:45 Maintenance is just doing that, maintain everyday stuff.
09:49 I believe more than anything is to get into a place
09:53 where I understand prayer and communication with God.
09:57 I know, and some people think it is a lame thing to say,
10:00 especially be don't have a relationship with God yet.
10:03 I know that God is for me.
10:05 I can struggle with something and not even know how I am
10:09 going to get out from underneath it.
10:10 I turn it over to Him and all of a sudden, not only have
10:15 I turned it over to Him, but I get this feeling or thought
10:19 exactly what to do with it, it's brilliant.
10:21 So I know it is not from me.
10:23 It's brilliant and it is God, the Holy Spirit steps in and
10:27 says Cheri why don't you think about this?
10:28 Or do this, or talk to this person and literally I can
10:32 turn it over right away.
10:34 There is an acronym I want to give you before we go on
10:36 to the next segment.
10:37 If you have a pen, write it down, if you don't write
10:40 it down the show will come on again,
10:43 you can buy it or whatever.
10:44 The acronym is RADAR.
10:46 I want you to remember in maintenance stage radar.
10:49 The R stands for recognize when you're stuck.
10:52 Recognize when you are acting out, in this stage life is
10:56 going on and I'm learning all these new things.
10:58 I am starting to celebrate my journey in a healthier life,
11:02 I don't want to say normal anymore because I think normal
11:05 is over rated, I see people around me that have normalize
11:08 and they are miserable, so I'm talking about celebrating
11:11 life, literally finding your passion.
11:12 So recognize when you're stuck and except that, don't be
11:15 afraid of that just except that and detach from it.
11:18 When I say detach from it, detach from it by turning it
11:21 over to God, just tell Him I can't do this, I don't know
11:25 what direction, call someone you love, call your parents,
11:28 call your best friend, call your Pastor, get in touch with
11:32 somebody who has gone through this before, they ahead of you
11:36 and turn it over.
11:37 Accept help from the people you turn it over to, accept help
11:42 from the church, accept help from God accept help
11:44 from your sponsor.
11:46 That means that I'm not going to even try to figure out
11:49 what is happening right now, I'm going to accept what you
11:51 say to me right now.
11:53 Really you want to find people that you really
11:55 respect their own walk.
11:57 Then the last thing, and I hate this, do it!
12:00 When they tell you to do something, do it.
12:03 Even if it feels uncomfortable, if it feels uncomfortable
12:07 it doesn't matter.
12:11 If I wanted to learn to swim, and I'm thinking I want to
12:17 learn to swim, so Michael Phelps calls me up.
12:21 If you don't know who he is, a swimmer, he has won Gold
12:25 medals in everything he's ever done.
12:27 I think I saw him one time with 7 different medals on.
12:29 He calls me up and says, Cheri I heard you want to learn to swim?
12:34 I'm thinking wow, because I'm so going to learn because
12:38 this is Michael Phelps, he's amazing.
12:40 He says I want to teach you, I want to teach you.
12:45 He tells me I will write down everything you need
12:50 to know and send you some letters.
12:55 Excuse me Michael, I'm not sure because aren't you going to
12:59 come and teach me?
13:01 Aren't you going to jump into the pool somewhere so you can
13:03 show me these things?
13:04 No, I'll just send you some letters.
13:05 There is no way to learn that way,
13:07 there is no way to learn.
13:09 Even if somebody knows everything and decides to teach
13:12 you but you never get in the water, you never start moving
13:16 around to know what it feels like to be in the water
13:18 you will never change.
13:19 So when somebody tells you, have them show you, have them
13:22 do hands-on if you have to, but definitely you have to
13:25 have action, So the last part is to respond with action.
13:28 Do something, change your life, feel what it feels like.
13:32 I have attachment disorders and bonding disorders.
13:34 I do not know how to socialize so I had to put myself
13:37 through a lot in social situations.
13:39 The last part of this radar is respond with action,
13:42 actually do it and enjoy your life and live fully,
13:45 out loud, enjoy being in your own skin and let God bring
13:48 changes into your life that you will stand years from now
13:52 and look back and say I had no idea that He could actually
13:56 change me in this way.
13:57 I think that is the coolest part of this whole thing.
14:00 We are going to come right back.
14:01 The person you are going to meet is called the buzzard.
14:06 It's going to be, fun you have to stay with us!