Celebrating Life in Recovery

Love Brings Everyone Together

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brad Peters


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR00072B

00:14 What I am going to love about this program is just
00:18 presenting the fact as couples we are never in
00:21 the same place, I mean you may be, but I travel all
00:24 over the country, all over the world now.
00:27 I meet people that one person is Christian
00:30 and one person is not.
00:31 One person is in recovery, and one person that is
00:33 kind of in recovery.
00:34 And there are all different levels so I was really
00:37 excited when Brad agreed to come on the program and
00:40 share our journey.
00:42 I'm afraid of what stories he will tell, but you know
00:44 I'm leaving that in God's hands.
00:46 I want to just say Brad thank you so much for being
00:49 on the program, and I know personally what we have
00:51 been through together.
00:52 What you have been through just in your own salvation.
00:55 And because you were not in the spiritual stuff for the
00:58 first years of our marriage.
01:01 So I want you to just let people know who you are, where
01:05 you came from, a little bit about how we met, because
01:10 that is so romantic, and what brought you to a place
01:14 where religion or Christ or God was even something
01:19 you were interested in.
01:20 Well I am so excited to be here, it is just amazing.
01:24 It is really fascinating when I think about God working
01:28 in my life, and knowing that He totally brought us
01:31 together and it is really crazy because we come from
01:35 opposite ends of the spectrum, I mean just opposite ends.
01:38 I was as a Boy Scout, my dad was a Research Engineer
01:41 for the US government and served as an Ambassador to
01:45 Bangladesh on a temporary basis once.
01:47 My mom was a concert violinist for 50 years in the
01:50 Madison Symphony orchestra.
01:52 Bringing just basic middle American was my life and that
01:58 He put us together was pretty amazing.
02:00 - When I first met your folks I was scared to death.
02:03 I knew there was nothing in my background that they would
02:07 even be excited about.
02:08 So we were from two different places, and I am saying that
02:13 but, I know your folks love me.
02:15 Oh yeah, oh yeah you kidding, they love you like crazy.
02:18 So it was really interesting and I had been raised in a
02:22 Methodist environment and did the confirmation thing in
02:25 ninth grade and after that I was pretty much done
02:27 with going to church because I was confirmed and
02:29 it was all good, right? I'm good to go.
02:31 When we met I was not practicing anything, I did believe
02:36 in God per se but I was not going to any church or
02:40 Bible study in any way, shape, or form.
02:43 So it has been interesting to watch God work in my life,
02:46 to bring me to this place where I am sitting here on this
02:49 show talking to you and excited about the fact that we are
02:51 starting to work together. - right!
02:53 That God is standing you up?
02:54 - oh, in a big way. In a big way.
02:57 There were so many years in our relationship that I was
03:02 doing Ministry and you were not even into that.
03:05 So for couples who have that kind of experience, what was
03:09 that like for you?
03:10 I know what it was like for me, - I know what it was like
03:12 for you. - it was horrible.
03:15 - Tell me, I'm sorry. I'll try to maintain myself.
03:18 It is really interesting for me looking back on it because
03:22 I think the biggest changes for me probably happened in the
03:27 say last two years, three years in terms of just suddenly
03:32 understanding what that is.
03:33 You even told me, God is telling me you are going to be
03:36 involved with this, in fact you're going to be running
03:38 this, I'm like, get out of town, are you sure?
03:41 What was really interesting is I would pray God, he is
03:45 not even interested, and God would be clear through the
03:48 Holy Spirit saying, one day he is literally going to take
03:51 leadership of this Ministry and leadership of your home.
03:55 I would look at you to get you, well there was no way to
03:57 get you to pray, you were just not interested in that nor
04:00 into that, so I would look and say God, he is not,
04:03 he's not, and after five years, then six years, then seven
04:09 years, after all that time I was becoming very almost
04:13 discouraged that would ever happen.
04:15 I'm so thrilled that I didn't loose hope totally because
04:21 God was just after you, He was after you.
04:25 That is the part that is really funny,
04:28 do you remember Stan? Stan worked on me for what,
04:31 five years. - Pastor in the Napa church.
04:36 You should be baptized and Blah, blah, blah and finally it
04:41 never happened with Stan.
04:43 It was finally at a Revelation seminar at the
04:46 Cloverdale church later on that I finally chose
04:48 to become an Adventist.
04:50 The path that God has walked me through and the things that
04:53 He has shown both me and you have been nothing short of
04:57 miracles along the way, so that part is interesting.
05:00 I think what is really exciting for me is starting to
05:03 understand what God intends for me as the man of the family.
05:09 As the head of the household. - spiritual leader!
05:11 - spiritual leader, yeah and understanding what that
05:14 really is and what He is expecting.
05:16 As I take that mantle on an assume that place is what
05:20 happens to everything underneath me including what
05:25 happens to my relationship with you and that you wind up
05:28 starting to get what you always hoped for.
05:30 What is really crazy is that I start getting everything
05:32 I wanted too.
05:34 What do you mean by that? That is a huge statement.
05:37 I know for me that after years of being married to
05:41 somebody that wasn't into any kind of spirituality, wasn't
05:44 into any of that stuff that I thought I'm going
05:48 to get that healing in my life with love and trust and
05:51 those kind of things when God comes back.
05:54 When we are in heaven, I'm not going to experience that
05:58 on earth and I was really resigned to that.
06:00 Then on this planet I am never going to fully heal in
06:04 that area, and all of a sudden God is teaching us
06:09 something different. - something different.
06:11 - Tell them about when we went to the couple's, one of the
06:17 first things we did when you come around spiritually.
06:20 We went to a couple's retreat.
06:23 He was like six couples, maybe not even that,
06:25 four couples, we spent the weekend together.
06:28 The jest of this was starting to understand God's intent
06:34 in the man and woman's role.
06:36 The different things that can happen in relationship to
06:38 that, and probably one of the big things when the man doesn't
06:42 stand up and assume that role is what takes place, how
06:45 entire families in generations are left unprotected.
06:48 You don't have the covering of God, you don't have that
06:51 umbrella protection and it is a funny thing.
06:54 We've all see situations, well what was the matter with
06:58 that kid, his dad messed up and the kid in that whole
07:02 family is just a mess.
07:03 You start to understand if there isn't a leader at the top
07:08 at the head of the household, they are unprotected.
07:12 - you are talking about a leader that is praying for them,
07:14 covering them, teaching them right or wrong.
07:18 Who God is and what the home is about.
07:21 - Exactly, and so this retreat we were on explored that
07:26 area and allowed us to open up some doors and take
07:29 a look at some of the things I had.
07:32 I found out later on not spiritually protected then I had
07:38 a father and a mother who cared and loved.
07:39 I was starting to understand that at least in that area
07:43 I had some covering and that was something you didn't have.
07:47 Starting to understand what that was, and what is really
07:50 cool is that God allows us to come back in and reclaim
07:52 territory that has been lost, we'll talk about that
07:55 a little more in a while.
07:56 It was be able to start to step up and understand what you were
08:00 expecting from me and to take that role.
08:02 I remember praying for you and asking for forgiveness
08:06 both for my participation.
08:09 - Women are not going to hear the whole story, he ended up
08:12 that he totally got it, that as a man of God I don't know
08:16 if I've ever prayed for you.
08:17 I don't know if I have ever, and all of a sudden we are
08:20 in with these other men and women and other couples and
08:23 Brad looks up with his eyes full of tears and walks over
08:26 and gets on his knees in front of me, and he says will you
08:31 please forgive me? I just wanted to fall and say I don't
08:35 know if anyone realizes it, but for a woman who is damaged
08:39 for a man to come up and say, I'm sorry for the lack.
08:43 Then he prayed and everybody was in tears.
08:47 Then he said I know there has been a lot of men in your
08:51 life that have wounded you and even your family who are
08:55 not here to say they are sorry so will you allow me to
08:58 ask you on their behalf?
09:01 Please forgive me and please forgive them.
09:03 I just looked at him and had no idea Brad, at that moment,
09:08 how much I needed that.
09:10 I had no idea that there was all this protection from
09:14 years and years of abuse and sadness that I needed
09:17 somebody, a man in my life to say I'm sorry.
09:21 I looked at you just felt the Holy Spirit bringing
09:26 healing, and it was unbelievable.
09:28 I watched the healing in your life.
09:30 It has really been a cool adventure, that was in December,
09:34 almost 2 years ago.
09:36 Then baby steps, like I said I'm a slow learner.
09:41 Talk about slow learners, he was real excited one day
09:45 and saying Cheri faith is important, and I don't remember,
09:50 Faith is important to just know that God is going to be
09:54 there like when Moses got out of the boat and walk across
09:57 the water to Jesus.
09:59 I was like, that wasn't Moses hon, I don't think it was
10:03 Moses, no that was Peter.
10:04 It is funny because he gets all the stories right
10:06 but all the names wrong.
10:08 I'm good, I'm learning, I'm learning,
10:10 it's okay so it was really fun.
10:12 This is one of the things that, again early on in our
10:15 relationship it was like you said God told you, God is
10:18 not talking to me, I don't hear anything.
10:22 - I don't even know what that means.
10:23 - I don't even know what that means and stuff so it
10:26 took me a while to start to understand, okay maybe I am
10:29 not tuned in to the right channel, that may be part of it.
10:32 When you start clearing the cobwebs off the antenna and
10:36 maybe you will start to hear stuff.
10:37 - tell them about the golf ball!
10:39 I've got another story to tell. - well alright.
10:43 I'm just the wife.
10:45 So then the following spring comes up and there is a
10:50 men's retreat at our church.
10:52 I had never been to a Christian men's retreat at all.
10:56 So I went up there and it was like okay, I'm trying to
10:59 listen and hear more, God I want You to tell me about
11:03 my relationship with my wife.
11:04 I'm going to this men's retreat to learn more because
11:07 I want to do better, I want to be better at all of this.
11:10 The speakers are up there and telling really great
11:14 testimonies and stuff, and I'm sitting there going okay,
11:17 yeah, but that wasn't it, that wasn't it.
11:21 So we went on a little break and I came back in and my
11:24 friend Jack was there, some thing happened with Jack
11:27 that he almost did not make it.
11:29 So I casually asked the question, hey Jack, what
11:31 happened that you didn't get here?
11:33 He started talking, and as crazy as it sounds,
11:36 he mentioned one thing and it was just a phrase.
11:38 He said I'm trying to do this and that and it is really
11:41 a challenge to be the iron fist in a velvet glove.
11:46 All of a sudden it was like wham, that was it,
11:50 the message I needed to hear.
11:52 The iron fist from the standpoint of this thing...
11:55 - how do you lead, gently.
11:58 Stand up and be the leader and the man of God you are
12:02 supposed to be, but care for and nurture and chase after
12:07 the heart of the beauty, chase after the heart of
12:09 the woman you love and all of a sudden it was like
12:11 Man, that was it.
12:13 I walked outside. - I just want you to repeat that
12:17 again for people that, women all over the world when
12:21 you said that, for a man to chase after the heart
12:24 of a woman whom they love is that most women
12:27 would die for that.
12:28 But for you to get that, that is my position as her lover,
12:35 her husband to win her heart everyday. - every day.
12:39 Talk more about that.
12:43 and I want to take notes.
12:47 I think it's really, really, like getting stood up on
12:51 your head, or getting turned upside down when you start
12:54 to understand that is one of those things where we tend
12:58 to go through life thinking I want this for my spouse and
13:02 boy I sure hope I get treated like this and those things.
13:08 All of a sudden it became really apparent like opposite
13:12 day, backwards day, if I give you that, if I try to do
13:16 that for you the next thing you know is that stuff starts
13:20 coming back and is reflected back to you.
13:24 - in huge ways. - in huge ways, in tenfold returns.
13:28 Starting to understand that when you go to ask a question
13:33 or look for something, where do you find those answers?
13:38 So you have been looking at me for stuff that I didn't
13:42 know I was suppose to provide.
13:45 So therefore I wasn't really providing it, but once I
13:49 started to, suddenly you were getting what you wanted.
13:53 It really changed things around.
13:57 - what was really interesting to me, and I didn't
13:59 really realize the lack, I have to tell you that Brad.
14:02 I did not realize how much I needed you to win my heart
14:05 everyday, and when you started doing than in little
14:08 things I would turn around to do something and you would
14:12 say can I pray for you before you do that?
14:14 Or I am going to go in and make something to eat,
14:17 and just little things trying to win my heart.
14:20 All of a sudden I wanted to do everything for you.
14:23 I wanted to make sure that you knew that you were the
14:26 love of my life, I wanted to make sure that you knew that
14:30 I wanted you to stand up and be strong as a man of God,
14:34 and know who you are, and hear the voice of God.
14:36 Everything I just wanted to pour into you and it was just
14:40 simple things, but I think as you got it, what was
14:43 amazing to me, was the healing that happened in my life.
14:46 We were seeing someone, one of the pastors we saw that
14:49 said, I believe, this is an incredible thing.
14:53 I've done a lot of healing through recovery, but the
14:57 pastors said, Brad, I think those very deep wounds in
15:00 Cheri's life about not being loved or fully trusting
15:03 someone, I believe God saved all that healing for you.
15:07 To heal with you.
15:09 When I realized that I thought that is so true.
15:13 I just started to cry and you literally were in tears.
15:17 - it has been, it has really been cool and I know you
15:21 will be okay with me saying this.
15:23 - well I don't know.
15:25 We'll find out. - will find out real soon.
15:27 I was sitting there, I don't remember how many years
15:31 ago this was, maybe five years ago.
15:33 We have been together at that point 15 or 16 years looking
15:38 at it and Cheri someday I'm hoping you really actually
15:41 love me and actually trust me. - and let me love you.
15:45 - let me love you.
15:46 Your response was well I'm still here.
15:51 - Not realizing that I didn't know how to do that.
15:54 - that level of trust, but I hadn't put myself in a
15:56 position and I hadn't shown the leadership that
15:59 was deserving of that.
16:01 - isn't that interesting.
16:02 So our friend who was really helpful in looking at a whole
16:06 bunch of things and exploring things and people who are in
16:10 these relationships understand when you get in an argument
16:12 and you wonder why you get upset about that all the time,
16:15 will we get caught up in the event of what happened
16:17 without realizing that there is some kind of underlying
16:20 pain, there is some hurt that I am ignoring and
16:24 don't really understand.
16:26 I see the event but don't understand what is going on.
16:27 It is part of winning the heart thing, it is understanding that.
16:29 - did I just trigger some pain there?
16:32 Yeah what happened here and let's try to figure that out.
16:35 I think one of the most amazing things during these
16:39 sessions that we did with this guy, was one time
16:42 I was talking about it again.
16:43 For you, going into those places where you have some
16:46 really, really deep hurts, and we were praying through
16:51 it and doing this process and physically I felt this big
16:55 ball of darkness, it was hurt and pain and stuff that
17:00 you were giving up.
17:01 It was the craziest thing, I held it in my hands,
17:04 felt it in my hands and I was able to give it up to
17:06 God and have it be out of your life.
17:09 But what was interesting, and I pray that people get to
17:14 experience this, as a woman of God, when your husband or
17:19 spouse, you decided to take on that role, I had been
17:24 walking with that pain for my whole life.
17:26 Not having anyone who would care about it, or even was
17:29 concerned about it, and you looked at me and said I want
17:32 to take it from you, as your husband, as your lover,
17:35 please give it to me and I will give it to God and you
17:38 will never have to sit with this again.
17:40 For whatever reason, because of where you were,
17:43 I believed you and literally in prayer gave it to you.
17:46 In the room you could physically feel that, you could
17:49 physically feel it and I walked out with so much joy
17:54 thinking that is it true that maybe that God wants us
17:58 to heal completely here?
18:00 Not when we get to heaven, not when we get on the other
18:03 side, He wants us to heal full of joy and love
18:07 the people that we are with.
18:08 The only way to do that really is when both people line
18:12 up in the best way that they can in their damage and say,
18:16 God we are Yours.
18:18 - exactly, what was really exciting for me was being in
18:22 place to, and this came to me last night when I was
18:27 thinking okay I had on my radio active suit...
18:30 - full armor of God. - full armor of God so I could
18:33 hang onto this radioactive material and not get hurt.
18:38 Had I not been prepared for that a little bit,
18:40 I would not have been as capable.
18:42 So to take a look at that whole thing and have the
18:46 strength and protection that He offers for that.
18:49 It is really interesting as you grow spiritually,
18:53 I see you really connect with the Holy Spirit and when
18:58 you pray for me it's different.
18:59 Your prayers are for healing, God I want You to help her
19:05 be more confident, and the insecurities of her past
19:08 fall away from her, those things.
19:10 And as you pray, I'm thinking who is this guy.
19:15 It is something, and I'm just talking about for women,
19:19 most women want that their whole life, for men in their
19:23 life to stand up and just take those roles.
19:26 Not to be a leader in a sense that you make all the
19:29 decisions and I would just cow down whenever.
19:32 - right. - Sometimes I feel like that with you,
19:35 I feel so loved that you would never ask me to do
19:38 something that was not in our best interest as a family.
19:43 It is a fun place to be, but I think that we just don't
19:47 know the importance of all that stuff, of a man standing
19:51 up and taking that position of authority in the house.
19:54 I think one of the things that is really interesting to
19:57 look at as a show about recovery, right?
20:03 Were trying to decide well I'm recovering from being
20:05 a spiritual wimp. - and I didn't say that.
20:11 Different things, to look at all that is like...
20:15 - and you, sorry for interrupting but I always do.
20:19 No, you know for the first part of our relationship it
20:24 was like praying with Jackie or me taking any of that stuff,
20:27 all of a sudden, you are literally standing up and
20:30 reclaiming everything that the devil meant to destroy
20:33 our family with for those early years.
20:35 This is the thing that I'm speaking to the guys now,
20:39 you will be amazed at what could happen when you
20:43 start to get dialed in.
20:45 In a couple cases in point, sometimes I think we step
20:49 out in faith and not knowing, we've talked about this,
20:53 I'm coming into the Ministry, what are you going to do?
20:56 - I don't know. - I don't know.
21:02 But I believe that this is what we are supposed to do
21:05 God, everything is happening now because I have sent in
21:07 the box top and got the decoder glasses and am starting
21:10 to understand the word of God and understanding
21:12 He is talking to me.
21:13 - explain to me what you mean by that for people
21:15 who do not know. - Don't know.
21:16 I always thought that, how do you know God is real?
21:19 How do you know He is there, and stuff like that.
21:22 It's the step of faith, the first step is something you
21:27 have to take, it's like you get a cereal box that says
21:31 oh, join our club and see all the cool things in our club,
21:36 well you have to send a box top in to
21:37 get the decoder glasses.
21:39 Once you put them on, suddenly the message is clear
21:43 and you can read it.
21:44 It is like that first step of faith.
21:47 - and the glasses are, the Holy Spirit.
21:49 The Holy Spirit and they are free.
21:50 It's free you don't even have to send in the box top.
21:52 - It is an amazing thing.
21:54 So let me tell you the story about George.
21:56 This was the part that I just wasn't even aware.
21:59 - George is my uncle.
22:01 George is your uncle and he passed not long ago without
22:05 going through all the dynamics, basically your mom called
22:08 up and said you are not welcome to come to the funeral.
22:11 - it's only for family.
22:12 It's only for family, like wait a minute, how does that work?
22:14 But anyway you were incredibly hurt.
22:18 I could see the pain in your eyes and you were incredibly
22:22 hurt and so, like okay, I'm supposed pray.
22:27 It was almost one of those things that are going to do this
22:30 because I know I'm supposed to.
22:31 Not even knowing what is going to happen, but I'm supposed
22:34 to, so I'm going to do it, I accept that role.
22:37 So we prayed, I prayed about it to take the pain,
22:41 to bring some resolution to that.
22:45 - you know for men, men just say things, I don't know.
22:50 It was actually cooler than that.
22:54 I came in and I was so hurt.
22:56 - you were hurt I could see it.
22:58 Literally felt when you came in and looked at me,
23:02 there was nothing that was going to stop you from putting
23:05 your arms around me and just praying until you felt that
23:08 wound and pain lift a little bit.
23:11 It was the coolest thing to realize, because we are still
23:14 pretty new at this, still new with your walk with God.
23:18 And in taking leadership, most of my life when I have had
23:21 a huge pain like that, there was nobody to pick up the
23:24 pieces, not nobody because God is amazing.
23:28 To have a husband, have someone to come in and just hold you
23:32 until you felt a change, that is what you did.
23:35 Your prayer was amazing and then you walked out.
23:38 I walked out and we were in the horse barn working on
23:42 that and you came out two hours later and said my sister
23:45 just sent me an e-mail that the Pastor who was supposed
23:50 to speak at the memorial service backed out and they
23:54 would like you to come down and present.
23:56 So within two hours of putting this prayer up for my woman,
24:00 God comes in, I was stunned, I was just stunned that,
24:04 get out, I'm supposed pray for my family and protect my
24:09 family, and when I do as the man of the family, great
24:14 things are going to happen.
24:15 - but to me I think is that a lot of folks do not
24:19 realize the incredible power behind that position.
24:23 For any of us to be able to pray and God respond, but as
24:28 father, as husband, as elder as whatever, your prayers
24:33 are important, they matter.
24:35 It is not just a token, I'm going to come in and say
24:39 a few good words.
24:40 I think for some of us, we do not realize we open all of
24:43 heaven opens up and pours into your family when
24:46 you pray for them. - exactly! - it's huge.
24:50 That covering is something that is amazing.
24:54 It is something for me where I have had to reclaim,
24:58 my dad passed a year and a half ago at Christmas.
25:02 During the course of cleaning out the basement and other
25:06 things, I learned things about my father I didn't know.
25:10 I honestly didn't know, and also through the stuff we've
25:13 done counseling wise in my exploration and learning more
25:17 about, it's not that we didn't go to church but did we
25:20 really have spiritual covering in our household?
25:22 We did not, we weren't studying the Bible, we weren't praying
25:25 daily, we weren't doing those things,
25:27 we said grace at meals but it is almost like perfunctory
25:31 thing and not a heartfelt stuff where we were asking God
25:34 and the Holy Spirit to lead our lives.
25:37 So in recovering and looking at different things of my
25:40 issues, come on I was a Boy Scout and stuff.
25:43 All of a sudden realizing, a critical spirit,
25:46 foo that was me, judgmental. - arrogant.
25:49 She keeps saying Arrogant,
25:50 Do you want me to put it off? I'll put it out there.
25:55 - what is really interesting even about the arrogance
25:56 is that with your mom, they were the cultured folks in the
26:00 neighborhood they weren't allowed to play with other kids
26:04 because they were actually too goods for the other kids.
26:07 So generationally this kind of arrogance was passed down.
26:12 What to me was amazing is that as you started to grow
26:16 spiritually, God was allowing these things to be fully in
26:19 front of your face so that you could repent and hand it
26:22 over, and I thought I was the only one with issues.
26:25 - Issues, and so you start to understand what is healing,
26:28 healing from what? What do I have to offer?
26:31 If I'm going to seek the heart of my wife, I can't be throwing
26:35 this crazy stuff up there as some kind of filter or screen
26:38 to be looking at you through, it has to be from
26:40 an open and clean heart.
26:42 - can I talk about what kind of things we found?
26:45 - yes. What are you going to say?
26:49 - isn't that scary when you're working with your spouse?
26:52 Some of the things we found in clearing out the house was
26:57 some sexual stuff, some videotapes and realizing as Brad
27:01 and I started to pray about what we were finding,
27:03 is realizing that Brad's father had and sexual addiction
27:07 and he was raised in a fairly sexualized environment
27:10 because of someone else's addiction.
27:12 Then that, with God's help and through this pastor we were
27:16 seeing, it explained a lot of Brad's leaned over the years
27:20 with some sexual stuff and you started to pray and we claimed
27:24 generationally the things that have happened in your
27:27 family and were given to you without even knowing it.
27:30 - I didn't even know it and I think that is one of the
27:32 things that, I'm talking to the guys again right now, this is
27:36 crazy so I will take another step back real quick.
27:39 Okay, I think God is wanting me to work with you in the
27:42 Ministry and you were like there is no way we are doing
27:45 that unless you go get some counseling.
27:46 - Didn't I say that nicer? - no!
27:52 There is no way until you do that, and I'm thinking
27:54 I don't need counseling, I'm fine.
27:56 So it was real interesting and I actually went for a few times.
28:00 She said well it was good I have no idea because I've
28:01 never done counseling and we started constantly together
28:04 with one person and then after the steel fist and the
28:07 velvet glove thing I knew was time to go work with the
28:10 other person who is even probably more dug in, cracking
28:14 stuff open and diving in to see what it is.
28:16 Having said all that, Mr. thought-he-had
28:19 it dialed in really didn't and discovered that I have
28:22 these issues and are things that you do not think about,
28:25 or you think that it is okay to strive for excellence.
28:28 Well yes, but with compassion and caring and not that
28:32 somehow you are better than someone else.
28:33 So men, and don't think that you may not have things going
28:36 on, it might be something you did not even know about.
28:39 I was unaware of the stuff my father, and I have to say
28:42 this, I love my dad and he provided a tremendous
28:46 life for me. Did he get that from his father?
28:49 I think maybe he did and just discovering that
28:52 generational stuff was passed on, we may not even really
28:56 be aware of, or understand where it came from, but by the
28:59 grace of God we have the ability to reclaim that
29:01 territory, to take it back from Satan, to close doors
29:04 and close the access off.
29:06 It was really interesting, as he listed women that he
29:12 had been with, in his life, prior to me, then he asked for
29:16 my forgiveness, just asked for my forgiveness.
29:19 He really even asked God that the women he had
29:22 casually gotten into a relationship with, can you bless
29:25 them, heal them and not let our relationship,
29:28 or our stuff damaged them.
29:30 The whole time saying God to forgive me for everything
29:34 that came into my life because of this casual stuff in my
29:39 sexuality, ask you to heal that and reclaim that for you
29:44 and the damage it has caused.
29:47 The whole time he is doing this, I'm looking at him and
29:51 everything in me is healing, because I'm thinking that he
29:55 is cleaning up closets in his life that have been there
30:00 and left unchecked for years and years and years.
30:02 I wish I could say to men especially, because women we
30:07 just want this kind of healing, but for men especially
30:12 is when you risk doing that, when you risk surrendering that
30:16 to God, when you risk getting into repentance at that level,
30:20 that your family heals leaps and bounds.
30:23 What was really interesting is
30:26 as we start exploring all this was finding out that I
30:31 have two sisters without getting into a lot of specifics,
30:35 they were left unprotected.
30:38 You look at the family, the generational thing is just so
30:42 amazing to me, God talks about the Old Testament in a lot
30:47 of places, in Deuteronomy particularly.
30:48 It talks about curses or blessings depending on where
30:52 you are going to go and you are going to lead.
30:54 So what I get back to saying to the guys, men you can have
30:57 everything you want, I can't even tell you how amazing.
31:00 We have been together 21 years and I am starting to figure
31:04 it out and I am feeling more love, more caring and more of
31:09 everything from you than I have ever.
31:12 It's just so amazing. - and it is really just beginning.
31:16 - it's just beginning, so then you get back to I want
31:20 this and I want that.
31:21 If you give, if you are willing to make yourself a tiny bit
31:25 vulnerable, that's not right it's not vulnerable, it's just
31:30 open and receptive. - you will allow yourself to heal.
31:33 You will allow yourself to heal exactly, then you are
31:36 going to be amazed at what all will happen and you will
31:39 get to that place where you get whatever you want.
31:42 You can have everything you want if you are willing to
31:44 provide that kind of the leadership, and that kind of
31:47 caring for your family.
31:48 It's pretty incredible, what was really interesting to me
31:51 during this whole time with your particular journey,
31:54 is then asking God what is my passion?
32:00 Who am I? I love when you said, I heard you say to a
32:05 number of people, is that I don't know in my life if I have
32:08 ever been passionate about anything.
32:09 You are a musician and do all this stuff, you do event
32:13 planning, and have worked at the University and playing
32:16 Philharmonic' and all these gigs, but am
32:20 I passionate about anything?
32:24 I was just talking about this with a couple people
32:28 recently and it is one of those things, by God's grace
32:32 I have been gifted with pretty much anything
32:35 I apply myself to do.
32:36 I am capable of doing reasonably well.
32:38 But it is, what am I passionate about?
32:40 What is it that I want, I have to go do this right now,
32:44 or I have to go do that and so it is interesting again to
32:48 walk in and ask God to lead me in that area.
32:51 Trust the Holy Spirit, let Him tell me, show what is going on.
32:58 What is really fun, and probably in the past 6 to 8
33:01 months she will come back and tell me a story about this
33:04 happened to this person and the next thing I know, it's like
33:06 I think I have something in my eye.
33:11 I might need a tissue.
33:12 - we are in prison ministries.
33:14 - We have people coming back saying I didn't think I was
33:17 going to make it in life period and I heard you talk and
33:20 said something, you know I think I have a chance.
33:24 Suddenly to realized offer someone a glimmer of hope,
33:28 to offer someone a chance to make a difference, or to
33:31 offer someone just a difference in their life.
33:34 When you start to realize that this is the most
33:37 amazing thing in the world.
33:39 Because we all go do our thing and go through the motions
33:41 of being alive, doing our stuff, but what do you really have?
33:44 Do you have somebody who really loves you, can you really
33:46 love someone else?
33:48 What does that mean? Is it real?
33:49 To be able to offer someone, this is crazy because
33:54 I am working in the office now right?
33:56 So you better start answering the phone.
34:00 - I don't know if what he thinks working in the office means?
34:03 - hello Two Step ministries, is Cheri there? No!
34:06 Because she is usually not home.
34:07 But he use to answer the phone, someone would call and
34:12 immediately they would go into their stuff.
34:14 You know my husband is leaving, or my son is strung out
34:17 on drugs, and Brad would say, I'd hear him in the other
34:20 room, I'm just the husband.
34:24 But now he doesn't say that.
34:28 It was really fun to have a woman call and she's 77 years
34:34 old, I'm just trying to find myself.
34:37 I thought whoa, and it is even fun to watch because when
34:43 you started the Ministry and we were looking at all the
34:47 different mission statements, about teens, we're working
34:52 with teens, and here's a 77-year-old woman that we are
34:56 able to consult with on the phone, to steer and guide
35:00 a little bit, so here I am a guy who is just
35:05 starting to figure it out,
35:06 but able to share with someone and offer a glimmer of hope.
35:10 That's just amazing. - it's just to say that a lot of people
35:13 know my family, and know where I came from.
35:15 I love my family but they have their challenges.
35:19 You got to pray with my father before he died.
35:23 You wouldn't have done that, had you not come to this place
35:27 in your spiritual walk, I want you to talk about what that
35:30 experience was like for you.
35:31 They thought you were a priest, is a Brad a priest?
35:36 That is what they kept asking me.
35:37 For the frail human race.
35:40 That was one of those things where are walked out really
35:44 stunned, that was maybe 2 1/2 years ago now, or 3
35:47 years ago that that happened.
35:49 - Start with the devotion.
35:51 The thing about that, which was interesting, the whole
35:55 thing with the Ministry of food, which I love to cook.
35:59 It was going down and walking into this, I think you may
36:02 have told the story here, but the dysfunction of that
36:05 environment and they are trying to cook food.
36:06 You walk in, and this meat is rotten because
36:08 I can tell by it by the smell.
36:10 Going to the store and deciding to make tacos.
36:13 - let me just set this up for you for a little bit.
36:16 My father is dying, we flew in a day or so left in his life.
36:22 My family has never let me pray with them.
36:25 Even when my sister was on life support, they barred me
36:28 from the room, it's like we do not believe in that and
36:32 we don't want that, and Brad asked if he could come and
36:35 pray for my father before he died.
36:37 I said he doesn't even want that, they actually barred me
36:41 from the room, they don't want us to bring that in.
36:44 Brad did a study on David and Jonathan, a devotion.
36:48 Do you want to talk about that?
36:50 That's right, and thank you because I didn't remember
36:52 the whole story. - I'm not going to say that guys name.
36:55 I'm not going to say that guys name either. - go ahead.
36:58 In fact you even said I'm not sure you should come.
37:01 - because it was just ridiculous come right now,
37:03 they are not that interested.
37:04 Yes, they are not that interested and I had just read
37:07 a story about Jonathan's son and David seeking out
37:10 Jonathan's son his relative, and bringing him back to
37:13 the Kings table and having him eat the Kings food.
37:16 - someone was really concerned during that story,
37:19 because David is bringing the relative back to the Kings
37:22 table, but they said he is deformed.
37:24 In those days that was an abomination to God.
37:30 His deformity was a curse and David said, bring him anyway.
37:34 Brad took him out of the room and said I believe that
37:37 God is asking me to ask your father to come back to the
37:40 table, to come back to Christ.
37:44 I'm looking at him like, I'm stressed, my dad is dying.
37:47 - she doesn't totally believe in me yet because
37:49 I haven't walked very far with this.
37:51 - he is just new but at this time he is so new that
37:55 he is praying for everybody.
37:56 You can't walk by him without his putting his hand on you,
38:00 do you want prayer, can I pray for anything?
38:02 So for him to now say, can I fly out and see your family.
38:06 So we go out in the food thing was really cool, but the
38:09 important part is that I walked in and Mac is laying on
38:12 the bed and I walked in and said, can I pray for you?
38:14 He was like, absolutely.
38:16 So we prayed, you could just see it in his eyes that he
38:23 got it and prayed for God to be with him, and he got it.
38:29 I stepped up and he just looks at me and goes bye.
38:32 To know that that was it.
38:34 I'm just going to say to you again, I love you for doing
38:39 that, I love you for that.
38:41 Out of every one, even myself, nobody would have walked
38:46 in the room and asked that.
38:48 The person that would do that is you, if you hadn't
38:53 gotten it, nobody would have asked him that.
38:55 Do you understand I mean?
38:56 It was your place in our family, as one of the men of God,
39:00 to walk in and bring him back to Christ.
39:03 I just wanted to say, I just love you.
39:05 We are going to open things up for questioning.
39:07 I know the people have some questions here.
39:10 Patrice do you have any questions?
39:12 I'm Patrice from Lansdale Pennsylvania and I have to say
39:16 it's such an honor to be here.
39:18 If people could be here to feel the atmosphere of the
39:21 Holy Spirit, it is in here heavy.
39:23 I have to say the amazing connection that you and your
39:28 husband have, and the journey you have been on.
39:31 The love I see between the two of you is,
39:33 just once again, it's amazing.
39:35 God really does wondrous things. - He wants us to be healed.
39:40 He wants us to be healed and I think it was something you
39:45 said about a minister saying that Brad was sent to be
39:49 a key tool, the key element to bring closure and healing
39:53 finally for so many things that happened in your past.
39:58 Our paths are somewhat similar, but my question is really
40:03 to Brad, when you are feeling the call to be that
40:08 spiritual leader and you look at how things have
40:12 transpired in the past and early stages of the
40:16 relationship as it is maturing,
40:18 isn't there still a fear like you want to step out,
40:20 but you are so afraid of what God is going to do,
40:24 but excited at the same time, with the possibility of
40:27 what He is going to do?
40:28 That is a great question to ask.
40:30 For myself personally the excitement part I am okay with,
40:34 because I am an adrenaline junkie and I like doing things
40:38 that amp me up, I ski off cliffs, and play trumpets
40:43 is an exciting thing.
40:44 The fear part is really in the honoring concept of hearing
40:51 God, but there is an unknown element there.
40:54 Absolutely like walking into the ministry,
40:56 what are you going to do?
40:57 I don't know what I'm going to do.
40:59 But I'm going to pray every morning for God to fill me
41:00 with the Holy Spirit and direct me.
41:02 That spiritual leadership I am still just starting to
41:06 explore that and having some revelations about the amazing
41:10 authority that is given to me when I do choose to
41:13 exercise that, which I am trying to do every day.
41:16 It is an unknown and there is some scariness there,
41:19 but it is a cool kind of scariness that is amazing.
41:22 - what is fun to about the Holy Spirit,
41:24 is the Holy Spirit is the same for each of us.
41:26 We will be working alongside people that have theology
41:30 degrees and a biblically can be right on with every page.
41:34 Brad is not there yet, but he has the Holy Spirit so in
41:39 him that when he prays for people when we are at a camp
41:43 meeting or whatever, I watch God's hand just on them.
41:47 So I'm trusting the Holy Spirit is the Holy Spirit,
41:52 it really is Him that is doing the work and leading you.
41:55 Which is amazing.
41:57 Any more questions? Garland, go ahead.
42:00 Garland Blanton and I am locally here at 3ABN.
42:04 I would just like to make a comment that I thank God for
42:07 bringing me here this morning, I wasn't planning on being
42:12 here to hear Brad and giving me some ideas knowing that I
42:17 have not been there, where I should be here in some
42:24 instances with my wife and family.
42:26 I just appreciate these wonderful people, and what God
42:31 has done with them, and how He has brought them together.
42:35 I thank them for being here.
42:40 That is incredible and Brad I really believe that a lot
42:43 of men, when they hear you speak in their heart know they can
42:49 stand up for their family in a way that is more healing.
42:55 I see that when we go out and speak.
42:59 Remember when we did the camp meeting and we prayed for
43:02 four hours for couples.
43:04 We prayed until 1:30 to 2 in the morning.
43:07 Just for couples that really want that kind of healing
43:09 in their life and I watched you respond to the men
43:12 and giving them courage to have it all, take it all.
43:16 I think one of the things, for guys, get caught up in,
43:21 I do not want to lose my manliness by becoming someone
43:26 who cares, it is actually the other way around.
43:32 It really is one of those things where like sports,
43:36 I'm aggressive, into building and making things I do all
43:40 these manly things, but what I get by becoming caring
43:44 is so much more, you become more of a man really.
43:48 - it's interesting the feeling I get, all of a sudden
43:52 we will be doing something off field hurt, or injured some way,
43:55 and you will stop and say how did you to take that?
43:59 Is your heart okay with that? I just melt!
44:03 I just want to kiss you on the face, I don't care what
44:06 just happened so it is really such a masculine thing to do.
44:12 But I think society has told us that.
44:14 Any more questions? Caroline go ahead.
44:17 My name is Caroline, I had a conversation with a friend
44:21 on face book about love and the definition of love and
44:24 all kinds of things like that.
44:25 Because I was saying that love should not be a
44:29 battlefield, true love, when you have mutual love both
44:35 parties love each other very much,
44:36 but it shouldn't be a battlefield.
44:38 There shouldn't be any strife, it shouldn't be hard to
44:41 love somebody, and here you are saying well yeah but,
44:44 there is always going to be conflict in a relationship.
44:48 I was wondering should we start practicing in
44:54 relationships like with other people,
44:58 your parents and everything.
45:00 At a younger age so we are ready and prepared to deal with
45:05 everybody else's emotions in that kind of a relationship?
45:09 Oh man, that is a great question and I am impressed to
45:13 have a question come from someone of your age like that.
45:17 It shows tremendous maturity.
45:18 - they're talking about taking care people hearts earlier
45:22 outside of relationships.
45:23 Absolutely, we talked before that we focus on the event
45:28 and not understanding what caused a person to react to
45:31 that event and finding out what that underlying cause is.
45:34 What was it that happened in your life that may have caused
45:37 you to react to those things.
45:39 To explore that early on, what an amazing gift that would be,
45:44 - in your friend's life - you are going to find,
45:46 we're getting so much better.
45:48 Just the other day we were talking and you said something
45:50 to me and I reacted, you stopped and looked at me.
45:52 It was okay, you got mad at me, did I hurt your feelings?
45:57 What did you hear and you start to explore that,
46:01 that is not in my mind, our imaginations run wild.
46:04 We are very creative people, right?
46:05 So someone says x and you hear W, Z, Q and you react based on
46:10 what you heard and the person was like I did not mean that
46:15 at all, so yes, start practicing those skills.
46:19 I know that you like swimming, right?
46:23 You are good at swimming, but if you want to get better
46:26 you do have to work at it.
46:28 - and it's going to be hard at times.
46:29 It's going to be hard, they are going to show you do
46:32 something, the grab and pull, the grab and pull,
46:34 I don't know if you know that exercise, but were you,
46:37 this arm doesn't even come out of the water and you are
46:40 yanking that one over.
46:41 It is awkward and it feels uncomfortable to do it,
46:43 but I am going to be a better swimmer if I do.
46:46 In relationships, when you love somebody you are willing
46:49 to put some time and some effort into it because you love
46:52 them and you know that you're going to get something back.
46:55 And just for me to you, you need to.
47:01 You know Brad, we have covered a lot of things as far as
47:05 in relationships, we covered a lot of things as far
47:07 as your spiritual growth.
47:08 I'm just trying to think of something else.
47:12 When we first started to get into this whole relationship
47:17 thing, you said you didn't hear the voice of God.
47:19 For people who do not know what that means, I know you
47:21 are hearing God speak to you now everyday.
47:23 Can you talk a little bit about when you opened yourself
47:27 up to having God speak to you, not only you speaking to Him?
47:31 I think this is one of the things for me that has been
47:37 exciting to understand that for some people, and I keep
47:41 waiting for the Brad thing coming down from above.
47:45 I want you to turn left now.
47:47 That kind of thing. - I would love that.
47:51 But He will speak to you and show you and the Holy Spirit
47:54 will talking to you all the time.
47:56 We joke about this and you may have told the story,
47:59 but people say how do you know God is talking to you?
48:01 That He cares about you?
48:02 He gives me great parking places all the time.
48:05 Every time He does, I come to expect it because He tells
48:10 you, expect Me to bless you.
48:13 - Your ultimate relationship is God. - it's with God.
48:16 That is one of the things you and I have talked about this,
48:18 it is why we are doing so well is because our first
48:21 commitment has been to God.
48:25 Your arms are too short to box with God so don't even give
48:29 it a try, that part for us has been a really key thing.
48:32 When you are open to that, you will find He is doing
48:35 miracles and things in your life all the time, constantly.
48:40 So it is cleaning the cobwebs off the antenna, and spin it
48:46 around a little, and tune it in and see what happens.
48:48 I want to tell you Brad, thank you so much for being on
48:51 the program, thank you for being in my life, and thank you
48:54 for standing up as a man of God.
48:56 Not only in our family, for our family and our children,
48:59 but for the church I see a difference in the church that
49:02 we belong to, when you walk in there is a difference.
49:05 I think in your commitment you are encouraging men to
49:08 stand up and take care of the people that they love.
49:11 I watch the men around you in your circle all of a sudden
49:15 standing up and saying I think I want my wife to be all
49:19 over me like Cheri, because I literally want
49:23 you to have everything.
49:25 So I want to say thank you for being on the program,
49:27 I would kiss you, but! - I love you baby!
49:29 We will be right back, stay with us.
49:32 I have been blessed by this program but I have a few more
49:35 things to say about it.
49:36 So hang in there.


Revised 2014-12-17