Celebrating Life in Recovery

After The Fall

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Craig DeMartino


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR00069B

00:15 Welcome back, I'm going to go ahead and do the roll in
00:17 and then we will come back
00:18 and see what else happened with
00:19 Craig and his life.
00:21 I don't know about you, but I can hardly breath,
00:23 so I have to hear the rest of the story.
00:29 A couple hours after his 90 foot
00:30 fall Craig DeMartino arrived at
00:31 Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.
00:33 His condition appeared stable,
00:35 but his fate remained uncertain.
00:37 You are probably looking at a 90% mortality
00:39 with a straight fall, falls from a lot lower heights,
00:42 they come in body bags all time.
00:46 Back in Pennsylvania Craig's parents got the call.
00:48 As a parent it is a phone call you never want to get.
00:52 At the time it was pretty grim.
00:54 They weren't sure if he would make it.
00:57 I mean really the thing is chasing around in my head
01:00 was Dr. Turner, because he came into the intensive care
01:04 and was saying, well we really didn't expect him
01:07 to make it an hour.
01:12 The violent impact shattered both of Craig's feet
01:14 and compressed his spine essentially causing one of
01:17 his lower vertebrate to explode.
01:20 Neuro surgeon Donald Turner, assessed the damage.
01:23 Normally the spinal canal should be like this.
01:26 You can tell at this bone has been pushed backward
01:30 into the ventral aspect of the spinal canal.
01:34 So now the diameter of the spine here is very small,
01:37 right there.
01:39 To repair the vertebrae, Dr. Turner had to open the
01:42 spine and move the pieces into place.
01:44 Then he used titanium plates and screws to attach the
01:48 damaged vertebrae to be intact ones above and below it.
01:51 The body easy tolerates the light weight titanium metal.
01:54 But working in the tiny confines of the spine
01:57 leaves no room for error.
01:59 The one thing that makes neuro surgery difficult is that
02:03 if you do make a mistake, it is probably permanent.
02:06 With no guarantees, Dr. Turner did all he could.
02:12 It was very grim, you know he was very serious,
02:16 and it was really scary.
02:22 They would have to wait for the results of the spinal
02:24 operation, meanwhile orthopedic trauma surgeon,
02:27 Dr. Lundy, reconstructed Craig's ankles and heel bones
02:30 known medically as Calcaneus.
02:32 This is his left calcaneus, this belongs under here.
02:38 His calcaneus which was here, came out over this way,
02:42 and his whole foot went with the calcaneus.
02:44 His right foot did the same thing but because his right
02:47 calcaneus was so severely fractured as you can see the
02:50 formity is less than on it is on his dislocated side.
02:54 With wire pins and bone cement, Dr. Lundy rebuilt the
02:58 damaged bones and tissues as best
02:59 as medical science allowed.
03:01 The doctors at Poudre Valley Hospital had done
03:03 everything they could, and the rest was up to Craig.
03:06 I walked into the room and he opened his eyes,
03:10 and he saw me and reached up his hand.
03:16 Craig had survived the critical first few days in the
03:19 hospital and he would live.
03:20 But what would his life be like?
03:22 They are fairly certain he is going to be a paraplegic.
03:25 Knowing that he fell 100 feet, you don't have to be a
03:29 doctor to figure that out, that is a good possibility.
03:32 Unable to talk with a breather, Craig found a way to
03:36 communicate and the news he received wasn't good.
03:38 There was a nurse there and she is looking at me,
03:41 and I'm looking at her and pointed at my feet.
03:43 She said your feet are broken really bad.
03:46 Then I pointed at my back,
03:47 she said your back is broken really bad.
03:49 So I thought well I will see what she says if I do this.
03:51 So like will I walk?
03:54 She looked at me and started to cry and,
03:57 said we don't know.
03:58 It was like somebody hit me with a bat.
04:00 I was thinking I have two kids and a wife.
04:03 I'm 36 years old, I cannot do this.
04:05 Man, you know watching that?
04:08 I'm not even sure how I can watch it.
04:10 How do you watch it? Do you re-live it?
04:12 That whole series, that whole video series was from
04:16 something the Discovery Channel did on a show called
04:19 Vital Scans that highlighted heavy trauma survivors.
04:22 The first time I saw it, they asked me if I wanted to
04:25 come and watch the reenactment and I was like no,
04:28 I'm good.
04:29 Watching it the first time I was like, oh my gosh,
04:33 I almost threw up, now that I have seen it enough,
04:35 I go, okay, I can detach from it and say wow he really
04:39 hit the ground hard.
04:40 I'm not as tied to it as much now and I have seen enough
04:43 times I'm desensitized to it.
04:45 It literally showed that this was what shattered or broke.
04:48 They dropped, they had a climber fall a couple times to
04:52 take some 50 foot falls and they filmed that.
04:54 Then they dropped a dummy 100 feet just see how it hit
04:57 and see what it did when it hit the ground.
04:59 Even dropped through a tree to see
05:01 how that affected its fall.
05:02 So I was used to seeing that and it doesn't make it
05:07 easier but it gave me actually some good insight as far as
05:10 okay, that is how I broke this, that's how this broke and to
05:13 hear the doctors say, this is how this all works.
05:15 It makes me go, oh, okay.
05:17 It actually makes me go wow what an amazing miracle to me
05:22 even bigger, I think that word miracle gets overused.
05:25 Whereas I look at it and go man, my spine is that thick
05:29 and I am walking.
05:32 And you are moving your arms.
05:33 My arms, my hands, now that doesn't mean there
05:38 wasn't a lot of injury.
05:39 When I hit the ground the next thing I remember is that
05:43 I wake up in the hospital and I am looking at the doctor.
05:45 Dr. Turner, and he said your back is broken really bad.
05:49 Your feet are broken really bad and we are just going
05:52 to take this day by day.
05:53 I had a ventilator and could not breathe.
05:54 So that was my world for about five days.
05:57 They had me tied down so I couldn't move it all.
06:00 The nurse had shown how bad I was hurt and I didn't
06:06 really understand that at all.
06:07 As they slowly started to unplug things,
06:10 and I started to move I realized how badly I was hurt.
06:14 My back was broken so bad and my neck was broken so bad
06:17 that they had me in a full case like Velcro thing
06:20 that held me solid.
06:21 So just to keep me out of bed they had to bring a crane in.
06:24 They would crane my whole body up and swing me out to
06:27 change my sheets, and big crane me back and put me in bed.
06:29 You had to stay one place?
06:31 I couldn't move, the infusions in my back had all set up.
06:34 All the hardware has to settle into place.
06:36 My neck was in a collar so I couldn't move my neck at all.
06:39 That was my life for about a month.
06:42 I don't know if anybody else is interested in this but I
06:46 relied on, even when I was on the streets,
06:48 I really relied on what I could to physically
06:51 that I could always take care of myself.
06:53 You are laying there saying, fully aware that a big change
06:57 has happened, my life is not going to be the same.
07:01 Right, realizing that, mine and hers and our families
07:06 life is totally different.
07:08 What does that mean now?
07:10 In laying there, prior to the accident if I wanted to do
07:13 a particular climb, a boulder, or whatever,
07:16 I could train for it and I could do it.
07:18 It would take me a couple months, one problem took me
07:20 a year to figure out how to do it.
07:22 I could train hard enough and get it done.
07:24 Exactly I am capable.
07:26 I am capable of solving these problems.
07:28 Well now I am laying there, literally cannot even get
07:32 food I had to push a button and somebody would come
07:36 and asked me what I needed.
07:37 So going from complete dependency on myself,
07:39 not God, me, to all of a sudden nothing.
07:44 I can't even reach over and touch her leg, nothing.
07:48 So I am laying there and the biggest wake-up call,
07:51 at that point I was really just confused.
07:53 I was listening to doctors and
07:55 I am a very task oriented person.
07:56 If you say to me do this, this, and this,
07:58 that's what I'll do.
08:00 Today this is what we're going to do.
08:02 Today we are going to focus on his left foot Craig.
08:04 We're going to roll this prickly thing up it and
08:06 see if you can feel it.
08:07 Because remember I broke my spine really badly.
08:10 They had re-build L2 with a bone, so for me that means
08:14 a spinal cord injury from my waist down,
08:16 L2 is basically right through your belly button.
08:18 I have really limited feeling as far as what I can feel.
08:20 Still? Absolutely!
08:22 The sensory off my exterior part of my legs I can feel
08:25 heavy pressure, so if you push on the hard I can feel it,
08:27 but if you just brush me I can feel it at all.
08:29 Same with my back, like going up my back.
08:31 My arms, from where I broke my neck, this arm is numb on
08:35 the insides my fingers tips are numb.
08:37 My lips are numb up here in this part of my face.
08:39 It's amazing because when I look at you,
08:41 I would not guess all that.
08:42 Right, and that unrolls slowly because you do not know
08:47 what is going to work and what isn't going to work.
08:49 They slowly work on pieces.
08:51 They would work on my legs and my back mostly,
08:52 but then they would leave.
08:54 So we would do that and then I would be alone in my room.
08:57 My family would come in the afternoons.
08:59 Cindy would bring every day the kids will come and sit
09:01 on the bed with me and we would hang out and talk
09:03 and try to keep it as normal as it we could.
09:07 But when I was alone I would be laying there.
09:09 Up to that point I wasn't angry, how did this happen?
09:13 Yada, Yada, Yada, why did this happen?
09:16 I want to ask that too, because like you said you have
09:18 your Christianity and everything was going well and
09:20 plateaued out, but laying there, didn't you say,
09:24 God what's up, where were You?
09:26 I did, I probably said what's up, where were You?
09:31 What were You doing?
09:32 But I wasn't angry, I was more curious so
09:35 I would sit there and pray and talk to God.
09:38 What I was realizing was that my faith walk,
09:41 up to that point, was one of convenience.
09:43 When it was convenient for me to bring God into my life,
09:46 I would bring Him in.
09:47 I would embrace Him wholeheartedly,
09:48 but I would bring Him
09:49 in and go, OK, we're done now.
09:51 I've got some stuff to do and I would go to it.
09:54 I didn't see anything wrong with that.
09:56 Now all of a sudden I am going, wow, that was screwed up.
10:02 I'm really sorry about that.
10:04 The only thing that I could reach was the bedside table
10:09 that you eat one in the hospital that swings.
10:10 I could reach that and all that table was a book.
10:13 It was a book that a friend had sent me.
10:15 He was a daily devotional book, which at that part of my
10:18 life, those are dumb, I don't like them.
10:21 I don't read them, I thought they were hokey.
10:23 This one was from a Max Lucado that I had never read before.
10:26 I thought well, I can reach it, so I reached it and
10:30 pulled it over and flipped to the day, the devotion of
10:34 that day and I flipped to July 21.
10:36 The heading is, the title is,
10:39 How Far Does God Have To Go to Get Your Attention?
10:41 And it's hello, it felt like somebody slapped me.
10:46 If felt like the room got small.
10:48 I felt embarrassed, I felt cheated, I felt all these
10:53 emotions that I had never felt towards God before.
10:56 I never felt like I had to be embarrassed.
10:58 I felt like oh my gosh You are looking at me
11:00 and going get it? Do you understand what's happening now?
11:04 I read it and the Scriptures were in there to back up
11:07 where is God in your life?
11:08 Is He number one, number four, number two?
11:11 I was guilty of all those things that were in this devotion.
11:14 I read it and closed the book and said okay.
11:17 You know what I do not know why this happened.
11:19 I know that You could have stopped it, but obviously this
11:22 is part of a plan that I do not understand.
11:24 I don't want to understand it, but please make it clear
11:28 to me what You want me to do in this scheme of the events.
11:32 What do You want me to do with this accident?
11:34 Where do You want me to go with this?
11:36 Can You please heal me because I don't want to be a
11:39 paraplegic, I haven't moved my legs up unto that point.
11:43 I'm just thinking please heal me so that I can
11:46 get out of here, and play with my kids,
11:48 and hug my wife again.
11:50 All of a sudden things started to clarify for me.
11:56 That is the strange part for me when I listen to your
12:01 story and when I have followed you for little while is the fact
12:03 that in the bed, during that time, God and you really
12:09 became, that became very real to you?
12:14 Very tangible even that, who are You?
12:18 Who am I? What is today going to hold?
12:21 How is this going to unfold?
12:23 That really surprised me, that part of it,
12:25 instead of anger it was like what's going on
12:29 and what You want?
12:31 How am I going to respond to that?
12:33 Who am I now?
12:36 Before I got hurt I was a photographer,
12:38 I was a climber,
12:39 I was a dad, I was a husband.
12:40 But a lot of it I was a climber.
12:42 I'm laying there going, who am I now?
12:46 I was a Christian but I wasn't the best Christian,
12:50 so who am I now?
12:51 Who do You want me to be?
12:53 What should I do with all this information that I'm getting?
12:56 I actually miss those times now, because it was unfiltered
13:00 time with God, it was undisturbed.
13:03 It was me laying there just going I have nowhere else to go.
13:07 I have nowhere to go so what do You want?
13:10 And God shows up talking to me and it started to become
13:13 very apparent where He wanted me to go.
13:15 My recovery went slow and
13:18 it doesn't happen overnight obviously.
13:19 The nerve disorders I developed from all the injuries,
13:23 that all came and the doctors came to me and said,
13:27 18 months after I get out of the hospital.
13:29 18 months after my foot is still in a cast.
13:32 Still limping terribly.
13:35 Because they can't fix it?
13:38 They did 11 different operations on my foot.
13:42 I had so many screws and plates in there that they just said,
13:46 here is the thing, if you weight bear on it, and hit it hard
13:50 you will break your ankle again.
13:51 So you have to wear a cast and we will make you a cool cast.
13:54 We did that, but a cool cast is still a cast on your foot.
13:59 It came up to about my knee.
14:00 So they said you are not going to be able to climb anymore.
14:04 No more mountain biking and no more skiing.
14:05 I just thought, I can't even chase my kids.
14:09 I can't do anything so I've started to pray about that.
14:12 I think, who am I now?
14:15 What am I going to do here?
14:16 God put it on my heart, it's going to be fine.
14:19 Just keep going, just keep moving.
14:22 I like to move so God made it apparent to keep moving.
14:28 Move forward, forward.
14:29 You talk about the numbness, I had this numbness in
14:32 different parts of my body, but I know that you also have
14:35 pain in different parts of your body, dealing with that,
14:39 so it not you just got out and did your recovery and healed
14:43 some and am done other than this foot?
14:46 That was something that slowly opened up, because I kept
14:51 thinking all this pain that I am feeling in my body
14:54 from compression, from falling that far.
14:55 Every doctor says you can't fix that kind of compression.
14:59 You smoosh everything together, it's not like an accordion
15:03 that we can pull it apart and fix.
15:04 It's damaged, you've wrecked it.
15:06 What do you do with all that?
15:08 I kept thinking the pain I am feeling, I have a lot
15:11 of pain in my back and a lot of pain in my other ankle.
15:14 My left ankle because they pulled it back in and screwed it
15:16 Then they figured they would see what happens to it.
15:20 The elbow I broke, you have these sacks in here that have
15:24 fluid that lubricate your joint.
15:25 Well I broke all that stuff so I don't have that anymore.
15:28 So my elbow if I talk on the phone long, it's hard for
15:31 me to put my arm back down.
15:32 Just lots of different things that are chronic pain
15:36 that goes on.
15:37 I kept thinking well that is all going to get better,
15:39 but at that point I was focused on my right foot.
15:41 What am I going to do with this thing?
15:43 They said you can amputate it.
15:45 I thought that's absurd, why on earth would I do that?
15:49 I kept thinking and praying and started to talk with
15:54 people who had done it.
15:55 What I realized was they were as active as I was before.
15:58 I thought well they do not have the list of the injuries
16:01 I have, but they did do that and seem fine.
16:04 Much prayer and much thought, Cindy and I talked and I
16:08 thought I am going to do it.
16:09 I went into my doctor, and again God's hand was totally
16:13 on the whole situation.
16:14 My orthopedic surgeon was a very strong Christian guy.
16:16 I went into his office and said look Doug,
16:18 I don't like this.
16:20 I can't do anything and I want to cut my leg off.
16:22 He was, yeah that's right.
16:24 He was let you do it?
16:26 Right, you needed to decide that on your own.
16:28 I could never say to you, Craig cut your leg off.
16:30 It's going to be the best thing.
16:31 You would not listen to me, but it's best thing, trust me.
16:34 He went out to his appointment book and flipped it open.
16:38 The next month on Tuesday, December 2, we will do it then.
16:41 I don't even know how I would do that?
16:43 My head was like, oh, but that's a month away.
16:46 Should we go for longer, further out?
16:47 He was no, you do not want to think about it more than
16:49 a month do you?
16:50 I'm thinking maybe I do, I don't know.
16:54 Have I done everything I could?
16:55 Is maybe the 12 surgery the one that fix it?
16:59 He said, you have no foot left,
17:00 you can't even move your toes.
17:02 I couldn't even wiggle them, couldn't feel them.
17:04 Nothing worked, so December 2, I went back in 18 months
17:08 later and laid there trying to get my head around the fact
17:11 that day was going to cut my leg off.
17:13 The rest of the stuff that was screwed up in my body was
17:15 not paying attention to it as much.
17:17 I guess not?
17:23 It's weird, you are laying there and they give you these
17:25 sedatives to take on your way in there.
17:27 You have to show up early in the morning.
17:29 So driving there, Cindy is driving and I am looking
17:31 out the window watching the ground go by.
17:34 I'm freaking out in my head and going this is wrong.
17:37 This is wrong I shouldn't do this.
17:38 I get there and somehow I get up and walk in and sign
17:42 the paperwork and laying there in the gown.
17:45 Laying on the gurney and waiting, and waiting and Cindy
17:48 is right here and I'm saying, this is not right,
17:50 it's not right and I turn around and look up here
17:53 and here is my pastor.
17:54 I'm like what are you doing here?
17:56 He said I just knew that today was the day and I thought
17:59 I will come in and support you, do you want to pray?
18:02 Pray, yeah we should be praying right now.
18:03 So we held hands and we all prayed.
18:06 As soon as we get done praying the curtain opens over here.
18:10 Here is Doug Mundy, my surgeon, saying, Craig how are you doing?
18:13 How am I doing? Terrible!
18:15 I'm freaking out, he said okay look at me.
18:18 You are doing the right thing.
18:20 That thing is junk and you are not going
18:23 to do anything with it.
18:24 You have to get rid of this.
18:25 The nurse came in and you have to do this fun thing where
18:27 you sign your name on the limb because they do not want to
18:30 cut the wrong one off.
18:31 But you have to sign your name and that is freaky.
18:35 Sharpie marker, you put the x, and I put cut here.
18:44 So we prayed and then they gave me something to really
18:47 chill me out and they took me into the operating room.
18:49 I remember going into the operating room and had been
18:52 through so many surgeries you have to be awake to go in,
18:54 not while they did it.
18:55 I wanted to be awake because they knew a lot of the people.
18:57 So I'm going in saying hey, how's it going?
19:00 We're here again.
19:01 It was neat to go in and see the people there too because
19:05 we have been through so much with you.
19:07 To them it is a failure because they don't save the limb.
19:10 To me it was like, we are moving forward now.
19:12 This is not the end, and now we are just getting started.
19:16 I woke up and they had a spinal block on me.
19:19 So I woke up I felt great and I looked down
19:23 and there's nothing there.
19:24 And the pain is gone, I feel great.
19:25 Let's go home tonight, he was let's stay over night.
19:29 We will see how you are doing.
19:30 Around 11 o'clock that night that wore off and then all
19:33 of the sudden you realize it hurts to cut your leg off.
19:36 That next five days was terrible.
19:39 Pain you had never felt?
19:42 Just throwing up because it hurt so bad.
19:44 I had been taking anti-inflammatory's and some
19:47 narcotics during that year to try and control pain.
19:50 To get a handle on my pain, overall pain.
19:52 So I had a certain level in me so when they start giving me
19:56 morphine again it wasn't working.
19:59 They had gone through three bags of morphine,
20:01 and they couldn't give me anymore morphine and so they had
20:05 to bring the guy in and give me another block and
20:08 tapered me out of it instead of just turning it off.
20:10 They just let me wean off it slowly.
20:12 That obviously worked my way through.
20:15 Then the process again starts learning to walk again.
20:19 All those things, where is my body now?
20:21 My hips were all out of alignment.
20:24 They had to fix all that stuff again.
20:27 You really do have to figure out who am I now.
20:31 Another thing that I realize just from watching and
20:37 listening to you come is that
20:39 you had never changed persons.
20:41 You are the same person through this whole thing.
20:44 But you have to every day change, I'm going to stand
20:46 differently, I'm going to move differently,
20:49 people are going to approach me differently,
20:51 so all that changes for you, but your head is the same.
20:54 I'm the same person looking out. Exactly!
20:56 You are realizing that people are
20:57 looking at you differently.
20:58 For me the prosthetic was a big deal.
21:01 At first I thought you put the prosthetic on and you walk.
21:06 Everything is fine and everyone leaves you alone.
21:09 It's not that, it's basically a beacon that says,
21:12 look at me I'm different.
21:13 It was weird at first, and at first I was put back by it.
21:17 Why are they staring, I don't understand that?
21:20 What I realized was I probably did the same thing.
21:22 If I saw someone missing a leg,
21:23 I would be oh that guy is missing a leg.
21:25 I wouldn't know what to do, so what I realized was
21:29 I have each do things differently now.
21:30 They are looking at me, they don't know my story.
21:34 They do not know what is going on.
21:35 Early on some guy asked about praying over me to see
21:39 if they can heal my leg.
21:40 At first I was put back and said no go ahead and do that.
21:45 They did it and they said how do you feel?
21:48 Here is the thing, it was right before the surgery,
21:50 I said God I fell 96 feet and landed standing.
21:54 I shattered, I mean just name it and I broke it.
21:59 I should be a paraplegic I should be dead.
22:02 I should be at a paraplegic, quadriplegic, multiple,
22:04 multiple things.
22:05 But I am not, I am walking, I fully intended on going
22:07 back to the life I had.
22:09 I'm going to climb again, I want to bike again,
22:10 I want to ski again, and I want to be my kids dad.
22:12 I want all those things and I just can't do with this
22:15 body right now, so this is going to help me.
22:17 If they healed me, and I put pants on nobody would
22:21 know anything was different about me.
22:23 If I was walking down the street they wouldn't know.
22:25 But when you say if anything is different about you
22:26 because you had a profound growth in your
22:30 relationship with God.
22:32 What you and God did during that whole rehab time
22:34 was absolutely huge.
22:36 What you are saying it is, I know that He had His hand
22:40 on all of this.
22:41 Right, but I do not know if I would have had the
22:43 courage to step out and go talk to someone and say,
22:45 let me tell you what happened to me,
22:46 let me tell you how God moved in my life.
22:48 I do not know if I would have had that courage.
22:51 I said to them with my leg, if they see my leg,
22:54 they talk to me usually.
22:57 Now in retrospect, I look at it and what it does,
23:00 when people see my leg they ask me about my leg.
23:03 They want to know what happened, so I tell them my story.
23:05 Well my story, is God's story.
23:07 It is wrapped up in God.
23:09 God makes my story and so I sit there and say this is
23:12 what happened to me.
23:13 They can't sit there and say this is ridiculous,
23:15 that's not true, well yeah it is, it is my story.
23:17 This is what God did in my life and I'm telling you,
23:20 I'm telling you guys this is what happened.
23:23 This isn't a fairytale.
23:24 I'm a walking, talking, miracle.
23:26 You read about stuff in the Bible, I look at this and say
23:29 that this is the biggest anything I read in the Bible.
23:32 I was completely saved from crashing and burning,
23:35 both physically and emotionally.
23:37 And you plateaued spiritually, it was like God came in
23:42 and woke all that stuff up.
23:44 Took me from that plateau and said,
23:45 this is not where you can stay,
23:47 it is not a good place for you to stay.
23:49 If you stay here the growth is over.
23:52 That is not what I want for you right now.
23:56 You need to go here, now that I have your attention again.
23:59 Now you are going to go like this and take off.
24:02 That is what happened, my faith in God grew so much.
24:05 It grew exponentially, my marriage grew exponentially.
24:08 Cindy and I learned that this other person is
24:10 the Person we depend on the most
24:12 I learned how compassionate she can be and
24:15 she learned how compassionate I could be
24:18 and your strength.
24:19 I think that comes from God though, that strength that
24:22 I have is all God pumping stuff into me.
24:26 When I look at God's grace in my life,
24:29 and the miracles in my life,
24:31 that gives me so much motivation to go to something.
24:35 We have so run out of time and I hate that.
24:39 What we are talking about on this program is when is
24:42 recovery over and for you when is your rehab over?
24:47 Ever? No! That is the thing that I realize is that
24:51 the pain is never going to go away.
24:53 The chronic injuries that I have they are always there.
24:56 The back is always achy, the neck always hurts.
24:59 The spinal cord injury doesn't get better.
25:01 I learned to deal with those things and learned to deal
25:05 with them and go okay now what can I do with them
25:07 to move forward, and still do what I want to do.
25:10 Because you're climbing again?
25:12 Yes I've been climbing about six months after I amputated.
25:16 I look at things and I go that looks really cool.
25:19 I want to do that.
25:20 I want to go climb, I want to go mountain biking,
25:22 I want to do whatever.
25:23 I don't want to think about it.
25:25 I get annoyed with my body, it doesn't mean I just go do it.
25:29 I get really annoyed with my body and get mad at God
25:32 some days, I think just make this work.
25:36 Please! And some days it doesn't, so those days are when
25:40 I just chill out and get back to God and talk to Him.
25:44 And you get through them!
25:45 I get through them and I realize that those are days,
25:48 those are not the rest of my life.
25:50 I think that some people go I got wrecked in this accident.
25:54 We are all sitting here and mine is really obvious.
25:57 Everyone sitting here is going to go through something.
26:00 Multiple times possibly where they are just as emotionally
26:03 wrecked as I was.
26:04 We are going to take a break and come back.
26:06 I want you to say what do you do to stay grounded with
26:12 all the junk that is on your plate?
26:15 We will end the program with that.
26:17 I'm going to tell you to come back because I think this is
26:21 a big thing that none of us are going to just escape and
26:25 not deal with something.
26:27 Even as we age, car accident, medical thing, the relapse
26:34 thing and all that, so what do you do?
26:36 Is the relapse, or is the pain the worst thing?
26:38 I don't think so, I think not giving up is the worst thing.
26:41 We will be right back stay with us.


Revised 2014-12-17