Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Rhonda Burnett
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00067A
00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery!
00:12 I have met people that say
00:13 I have been in recovery for
00:15 10, 20, 30 years and I still
00:16 don't get it, it is because you forgot this one step.
00:19 Join us at the Café, you are going to be blown away by this.
00:50 This is going to be fun today in the Café.
00:53 We are talking about recovery
00:55 still, every season every show.
00:58 Just because it is my passion and what is interesting
01:01 to me is when you look at why do people fail so much?
01:05 Why is it that people start out and they are just thrilled.
01:09 They finally get the fact that I am powerless and I cannot do
01:14 anything and that there is a God and He can restore me.
01:18 It's like I'm not going to be crazy my whole life and
01:22 He can restore me to sanity, every page of the Bible says it.
01:26 Every page of the big book says that.
01:28 Every page of a 12 step program says that you are powerless,
01:32 God is going to restore you, and it also talks about looking
01:36 at your stuff and get an idea of who you are because if you
01:40 do not know who you are even in a Christian sense.
01:42 I've been away from 12 step programs because I have done
01:46 a lot of my own recovery through God, through my spiritual
01:49 relationships so if I understand that I am powerless then I
01:53 God then I really need to look at some stuff because
01:56 I need to know what to bring to Him.
01:57 I may bring the wrong things,
01:59 but I actually won't run out of things.
02:02 I need to bring to Him my addictions and eating disorders,
02:05 my depression, my anger, and my junk.
02:09 My thinking is so twisted so it is like I do not even know
02:13 what to surrender if I haven't looked at something.
02:17 That is the good part of recovery and the next part is
02:21 just making amends and taking care of some stuff.
02:25 In a step program, steps six and step seven, they are called
02:30 the forgotten steps and I just got this for a friend of mine.
02:34 The forgotten steps, forgotten steps because there are some
02:39 people in 12 step programs that get to the point where they
02:43 know they are powerless and they know they have issues.
02:48 I have to look at some of this stuff and I 'm so glad there is
02:51 a God and they get to that point and then they take a breath.
02:56 That was a lot of things to look at, lot of stuff to work on
03:00 In some 12 step programs you are writing down your
03:03 character defects, you are finding one person, a sponsor
03:07 some body you trust and start sharing it with them.
03:10 That is the hardest thing, I know we have been friends
03:13 for a long time, but I am such a liar.
03:16 Do you know what I mean,
03:18 when you honestly start sharing stuff,
03:20 it is really tough.
03:21 I am socially underdeveloped.
03:24 If I did not drink or use, I couldn't say my name
03:28 without going into a panic attack.
03:30 That is hard to say if somebody especially when you have
03:32 been the life of the party.
03:34 You are out there, you are saying and doing all the right
03:38 things and people are, no, Cheri we love to have you around.
03:41 Do you know if I am not drinking or using, I panic when the phone
03:45 rings because I do not want to pick it up,
03:47 I don't know what to say.
03:48 Do you know that about me so there are steps where you are
03:51 sharing that kind of stuff.
03:52 Do you know that I have felt like a fraud my entire life?
03:56 Every lie I have told was to get over that.
03:59 Did you know that about me?
04:00 Did you know that I had addictions that are so twisted
04:04 that I'm afraid to even say them out loud?
04:06 Did you know that? So those things are important to do.
04:11 And going back again to my spiritual thing it says to
04:14 confess to one another, pray for each other so that
04:18 you can be healed.
04:19 It is real interesting is that no matter where you are at,
04:22 no matter what your program is, no matter who you're relying on,
04:26 as far as in a personal sense, God says there are certain
04:31 things you need to do. Right?
04:33 You need to recognize that you are powerless, recognize that
04:38 you need God, that there is a God and you need God.
04:41 Recognize that and talk to somebody else.
04:43 Look at your stuff, share it with them.
04:45 Okay now we are going to get to the steps we are covering
04:48 in this program.
04:49 This program says, I am going to read the step as far as
04:54 how it is in a recovery program.
04:56 The steps says, "we are entirely ready to have God remove
05:00 all are defects of character."
05:03 Who will remove them? Me? No! God.
05:08 And every one for some reason, in any program that you look
05:13 at, somebody is miserable 30 years into their recovery
05:16 is because they forgot this step.
05:18 I looked at all that stuff and then I set about to fix it.
05:25 Please hear the difference, the step doesn't say we are
05:29 entirely ready to set about to fix it.
05:32 The step says I am entirely ready to let God remove all that
05:37 And so in step seven, I just have to go to seven.
05:39 "Humbly ask Him to remove them.
05:42 I think the humble is important because to humbly ask Him to
05:47 remove them, saying I don't even know, I have two admit I
05:51 don't even know, I am an adult in an adult body and should
05:54 be more competent than I am, but I don't even know where
05:57 to put my foot. Right?
06:00 I have lived my life, I have told to a little bit of the
06:02 stuff I had to look at in my recovery.
06:04 I had to share with one other person.
06:06 I was so, from the time I was two and three years old,
06:12 I learned to disassociate.
06:14 I was being molested since I was three months old.
06:17 So I learned not to be present ever, do you know what I mean?
06:22 If somebody attacked me I could disassociate,
06:25 I would be like a dog back at you.
06:28 I could pull your eyes out,
06:29 I could fight and do all that stuff.
06:31 I could disassociate be something else.
06:34 If I was afraid socially, I could disassociate be somebody
06:37 that is competent.
06:38 If you are going to injure me in some way,
06:40 I could disassociate and be absent,
06:43 totally absent because I didn't know how to be that so I
06:48 would disassociate at the drop of a hat.
06:50 I started asking God, I don't know how to do this?
06:54 He said for one Cheri I don't want you to drink or use.
06:57 I'm thinking stop, are you kidding me?
07:00 I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do
07:02 this without drinking or using.
07:04 So can I use anything, is there an herbal Valium?
07:07 Is there anything? He is like oh no I want you to get up
07:13 today and I want you to take a breath, eat healthy,
07:17 get outside and try to laugh.
07:20 Learn how to do things in a different way and I'll start
07:22 teaching you, so that if they let go and let God.
07:24 I was ready to let go and let God, right?
07:28 As I do that God will tell me the next step.
07:31 What is really interesting to me is that He does that.
07:34 I remember, even at one time,
07:36 thinking God I don't know how to do this.
07:40 I'm in a social situation, I marry somebody that
07:43 teaches at a university and plays in the orchestra,
07:46 that goes to these fundraisers.
07:48 I'm so panicked all the time.
07:51 I remember being at a fundraiser one time and I was just
07:54 adorable, I have to tell you I had this cute little
07:57 outfit on and everything was perfect.
08:02 I looked normal, which cracks me up, but I looked normal.
08:09 I just remember being at the event and I couldn't think
08:13 of anything to say.
08:14 I was afraid somebody was going to talk to me and all the
08:16 anxiety and social things were coming up.
08:19 I remember thinking as I saw a group of people playing darts.
08:22 I thought I would just play darts with them because in the
08:27 bars I hustled for money with darts and pool and that stuff.
08:32 I didn't realize I didn't have any drugs.
08:34 I didn't know how to do that anymore.
08:35 I throw the dart, poof, and then I had to add up something.
08:40 I went into this panic attack and couldn't think.
08:43 So I could not add it up and I then felt stupid and
08:47 wanted to escape and disassociate and God tells me,
08:50 Cheri stay present.
08:52 I'm saying no, don't ask me that, please don't ask me that.
08:56 It was like He was teaching me, like I was a little child.
09:00 How to stay present, how not to run, how to be in social
09:05 situations without drinking or using.
09:08 It was not easy, but He was so faithful.
09:11 Every time I took it back from Him and decided
09:14 I could do it on my own, every time, I could do it on my own.
09:22 I'll just do some, I'll just do whatever.
09:27 I took it back and it was miserable.
09:32 Some people take it back for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years.
09:35 They eventually end up drinking again or kill themselves.
09:39 The suicide rate for people in recovery that don't do these
09:43 two steps is high, so let me just say again before we break,
09:47 introduce you to the guests, I am going to tell you
09:49 what the steps are.
09:50 I am fully aware of the stuff, I'm fully aware of who
09:55 I am, what kind of stuff I'm involved in.
09:59 I am fully aware of how messed up I am.
10:02 Don't color code any of that,
10:07 don't make any of it look better than it is.
10:09 If you are a liar say it, because I said I'm not a liar,
10:13 I may exaggerate a little bit but I'm a good person.
10:18 God just shows me a few things and I'm thinking
10:22 maybe not all that good.
10:25 Just don't color code it, don't make it look better than it
10:27 is because it keeps you're stuck longer.
10:29 If you have a porn addiction and you are on line all the time
10:32 If you would rather be online than be with your family,
10:34 that's twisted.
10:37 If you, in your head, go some place sexually every time you
10:40 are with a person that you love, and I am talking to a lot
10:43 of women out there, that is twisted and God doesn't want
10:46 you to half to do that.
10:47 If you have eating disorders, if you have to hide your food.
10:51 If every time you are stressed you have to eat something
10:55 and you are bulimic and throwing up or cutting yourself,
11:00 or what ever, that is twisted.
11:02 If you are miserable all the time and you don't even
11:06 know why, it is usually because you have some junk that
11:10 God wants to remove from you.
11:11 So when we fully look at all of that and then let Him
11:16 start directing you, that is the most important thing.
11:21 In our series, what we are calling that, is righteousness,
11:26 or right behavior by faith.
11:28 I am by faith saying God, okay I am starting to see
11:34 all of this, now what? Now what do I do?
11:37 How do I do the next thing?
11:39 He says to ask for the Holy Spirit, and we did a whole
11:43 season on that, but ask for the Holy Spirit.
11:45 Ask Me to come and live with you, actually in your very being
11:52 and I will direct everything from this point on.
11:56 Everything, and I am like everything? Everything!
12:00 He even says to surrender everything.
12:02 It doesn't mean I don't do any work, and I love this analogy
12:06 I read today in my devotions.
12:09 If I am praying God I am in recovery and I actually think
12:14 I want to be a doctor, He says you know what I'll start
12:20 making a way for you to go to med school.
12:22 He is not going to all of a sudden, poof,
12:24 alright you are a doctor.
12:26 He is not a genie and He is not going to do the work for you.
12:29 He says I will open the way for you to do this.
12:32 The work sometimes will be tough but it is God leading the
12:36 work, it is God showing you where to work.
12:38 It is God providing you the strength to do the work.
12:43 In Galatians again, it is an incredible book because
12:47 Paul goes back to them a lot.
12:49 He says, you know you were thrilled, you were thrilled
12:52 and now you are miserable, what happened?
12:54 Now you are looking at ways to, somebody said okay you finally
13:00 get it or what ever, but have you been circumcised?
13:03 In the Jewish culture that was a big deal.
13:05 Paul says, that is not what it is, you came by faith in
13:10 Christ, to do the works so stay with that.
13:13 So in your recovery your faith in Christ, in His ability
13:16 to give you His Holy Spirit so that He could teach you
13:20 what right behavior is, it's absolutely huge.
13:24 It is so huge that if you don't get this step you will not
13:28 be able to do recovery, you will not be able to change
13:31 anything, God will not be able to change anything for you.
13:36 The next step is like it in that I am fully or humbly come
13:40 to God and allow Him to now start removing things.
13:44 If He said, Cheri I want you to stay present,
13:48 which was the hardest thing for me.
13:49 If you are out there and you hear what I am saying,
13:53 if you have disassociate disorder or you tend to
13:57 disassociate because of the damage you had in your past,
13:59 stay in present, even with the people I loved it was difficult.
14:03 He would say stay present and I would want to scream,
14:07 that is so not fair!
14:09 I so do not want to do this, I can't, I can't, I can't.
14:12 He's like you can, you can, you can.
14:15 As I started to learn that and started to stay present,
14:19 what is cool to me is that I have people in my life that
14:24 actually know who I am now.
14:27 They like me, how fun is that?
14:30 I thought nobody would like me unless I drunk or high or
14:32 able to entertain, and God said,
14:36 I want to teach you to connect with people.
14:39 I want to teach you to be in your own skin.
14:42 I want to teach you how incredibly cool it is to
14:46 actually do recover and once we get that is amazing because now
14:50 I want to teach you what life is about.
14:52 So now let's get off you, which is tough for addicts
14:56 because we think it's all about us,
14:57 let's get off of you and let Me teach you about life.
15:00 These two steps I'm telling you if you don't get them,
15:03 if you don't get this by turning it over to God and
15:06 allowing Him to abide in you, allowing His righteousness
15:09 His right behavior to become part of your existence
15:14 you will be miserable for ever.
15:17 That is not His plan.
15:18 So we are going to take a break and we'll be right back.
15:20 So stay with us.
15:21 It is absolutely the coolest thing to watch God do this
15:24 for somebody and we are going to hear someone's testimony
15:28 of how she is dealing with this very step.
15:31 We'll be right back, stay with us.