Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Dr. Janet Claymore, Duane Ross
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00066B
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00:14 This section is going to bless you.
00:16 Here in the Café we now have my friend Janet. 00:19 Janet I had met you long before I met Heppy and the kids at the 00:24 school any of that. 00:25 We are going to talk, continue about your recovery, 00:30 but where did you guys meet? 00:32 Did you know him before he had stopped drinking? 00:36 No I did not know him before he stopped drinking. 00:40 So can you tell us where you met? 00:43 Because now you are in recovery, you are looking at your 00:47 children, everything is new in your family, so where did 00:51 you guys meet? How did that happen? 00:53 That happened back in 1979. 00:57 I was a business manager for the school. 01:00 Janet sister had just been hired as the elementary principal. 01:05 She lived right across the street from me, Janet's sister. 01:10 She was during the year telling me about a sister that she 01:14 had in Portland, Oregon. 01:16 She was thinking about bringing her to this community 01:22 and helping her get Bachelor's degree because she was 01:28 wanting to become a teacher. 01:30 So at that point, when all of this is going around and 01:34 Janet's sister is talking to you about that, 01:35 you have reclaimed really your honor or ability to stand and 01:40 get the respect that you so tried to get in your drinking. 01:45 Now you are getting it because you really are... 01:47 I'm sober! You're sober! 01:49 So the dream that this guy had to get men and women to 01:53 stand up sober you are now working with him, 01:57 encouraging other people to stand up and be sober. 01:59 How cool is that? 02:02 At the time I didn't understand the ramifications of all of 02:07 it, but now it was the right direction for that community. 02:14 To continue with the story, Janet's sister was the 02:20 elementary principal and she would invite me over to 02:26 her house to visit and she was telling me that her sister 02:31 was going to be coming pretty soon. 02:33 Eventually Janet showed up but I did not see much of her. 02:37 Janet had a little daughter and I didn't see much of either 02:41 one of them because I was visiting with Janet's sister. 02:44 All of a sudden one afternoon, one evening I was over there 02:50 and she invites her sister Janet to come out to the living 02:56 room and be part of our conversation. 02:59 About 15 or 20 minutes into the conversation she said oh, 03:02 I have to go see Chuck that was her boyfriend. 03:05 She leaves, so Janet and I were left. 03:08 Did you know you were being set up? 03:11 Did you know? No! No! I just sat down and started talking 03:17 to him and here's a new person to talk to because I am 03:23 in a community I don't know anybody. 03:25 So we just started talking and he was telling me about his 03:30 family and we became friends. 03:35 It was cool because we became friends. 03:37 So can I ask you, did you have any issues or history 03:42 with drugs and alcohol? 03:43 Yes, yes I started drinking probably when I was 21, 03:50 but I was doing drugs before that. 03:53 Smoking weed, that kind of thing? 03:56 Smoking weed, yeah, and taking pills. 03:59 I think it was 19 when I started doing that. 04:05 Just off and on, just taking them off and on. 04:14 Heppy, and I may be making an assumption of this, 04:16 you are raised on the reservation? 04:19 Yes I was. 04:20 Were you raised on the reservation 04:21 or did you have a different background? 04:22 Yes I had a different background, 04:24 No, I wasn't raised on the reservation. 04:26 My mother's Swedish. 04:29 I remember you saying that to me and I want to just say that 04:34 you came on and we were doing another program so I know that 04:38 you came on that other program and I asked you if would 04:41 where these clothes for this program to, 04:46 but you were literally learning about your heritage as 04:50 you were coming in doing this teaching? Right, right! 04:54 But with that background were you using at that time? 04:59 What had happened was that was when I was getting my 05:04 degree, it was probably about a year after I met 05:08 Heppy that we got married, so we were married in 1980. 05:14 One of the things that we both have priorities and said 05:20 that you had to do this if I'm going to marry you, 05:22 and you have to do this if I'm going to marry you. 05:24 One of the things that was his priority was that 05:27 I had to go to treatment. 05:28 I had to stop my drug use and, 05:32 Wouldn't it be good if we loved each other enough that 05:37 when we made friends or fell in love that we said, 05:41 you know I love you too much to watch you destroy 05:44 yourself in this way. 05:46 For you to say that, as I know I cannot have you in 05:51 my life with you relying on these drugs, 05:53 even if they are prescription, 05:55 you have to deal with it. 05:56 Right and so I quit, he had told me his story. 06:02 I thought wow, this is really cool. 06:06 Someone with this background can quit drinking? 06:10 On their own? It just shocked me. 06:14 I thought if he could do it I can do it, so I did. 06:19 I remember the last time that I drank was in 1979. 06:23 I was on my way to visit my brother down in 06:29 Colorado with my sister. 06:30 It was less time than I remember drinking and 06:32 I didn't drink after that. 06:34 Then we got married in May of that year, so I said 06:40 I will go to treatment and I did. 06:41 We got married but my priority for him was that he had to 06:50 read The Great Controversy. 06:52 That's funny, so what you are saying is that spiritually, 06:57 because you are raised in an Adventist home, 07:00 or a Christian home. 07:01 So spiritually you are saying I want you to actually look 07:03 at some of this stuff. 07:05 And you had not had that in your background? 07:08 No! So what did you think? 07:10 At that point, I think what I did is I just brushed off her 07:17 request and set it aside. 07:20 He did! He absolutely, he did. 07:24 It wasn't until 20 years later that I did pick it up. 07:30 There was lot of things that went on that we can sit here 07:35 and look back on that she and I have gone through. 07:39 Not only trying to mend our own relationship with addiction 07:45 but me bringing six children into the relationship and 07:49 she bringing in an additional one. 07:51 That is seven and trying to melt all those kids together. 07:55 Also how do we deal with relapse? 08:01 Relapse, going back and saying what is going to happen 08:07 if I go back to drinking? 08:10 Those kinds of issues, and then the other issue that we had 08:16 to talk about was we call and alcoholism, our co-behavior. 08:21 Our not being accretive enough to our offspring, 08:26 to our neighbors, and not telling them that hey, 08:32 you need to go get help. 08:33 What we were doing was oh poor you, 08:35 We will take care of this for you. 08:37 That's the co-behavior, the co's in us are worse than the 08:44 drawn out alcoholic. 08:46 So somebody that is co-dependent how we enable each other 08:51 to stay dysfunctional? Right! 08:54 We do, we allow people to still lie and confront all of that. 08:58 Janet and I had a hard time getting through those issues 09:02 and it took about four or five years just to deal with 09:06 those kinds of things. 09:07 Because you are both being in treatment and walking through 09:12 that, you could talk out loud about some of this stuff which 09:17 is better than most couple gets. 09:18 Most couples don't even know what co-behavior looks like. 09:22 They don't even know how to sit down and have an honest 09:25 discussion about dishonest behavior. 09:28 So she and I both did was about four years after I went 09:36 through rehabilitation treatment, 09:39 I went back to treatment as a co-, 09:43 and that one was harder as a co- then 09:47 being a blown out alcoholic. 09:48 Explain to somebody, why, what is the difference? 09:51 Most of us have some of that, and what you are saying is 09:55 I treated both, I've allowed myself to be educated about 09:59 my alcoholism and in enabling alcoholics around me. 10:03 For the druggies around me. 10:05 It is harder because you have to have the inside ability 10:09 to be able to tell that person that is coming to it and 10:13 saying, oh, I'm having a hard time here which you really 10:17 understand this and make it okay if I didn't do it this time 10:21 Or calling in on Mondays! Or calling in on Mondays 10:26 and simply telling them no! 10:28 You need to go get help and not say that's okay I understand. 10:31 That kind of behavior is changing the inside of you. 10:36 How do you address those kinds of people when in the 10:40 Native American culture you take care of 10:43 those people that are sick. 10:46 It's the closet people. 10:49 We do not talk about issues in our family, outside our family 10:54 but in treatment they were saying at one point, 10:59 I wish we could get rid of all the grandmas. 11:05 In what sense? 11:06 In the sense that grandmas keep us little, 11:09 grandmas keep us helpless, grandma will take care of it. 11:14 Grandma will take care of us, those kinds of issues. 11:19 Grandma does not make us stand up and be responsible 11:23 for our own behavior and that is the kind of thing 11:27 they were trying to teach. 11:29 What is really interesting to me because I love when you 11:31 bring that up, is that the first time someone clearly got 11:34 the concept that I am responsible for my own behavior, 11:37 across to me, I just brought life into my soul. 11:41 It was like if I am totally responsible, 11:44 then can I make it right? Can I actually do this? 11:48 It was a gift and I think they try to do it gentle or 11:53 whatever but when I got that concept 11:55 it was absolutely a gift. 11:57 When God did this to me, God said don't lie to each other, 12:03 don't manipulate and those things. 12:05 Now every time it comes up I can hear the Holy Spirit say, 12:09 No! No! No!, and I am like alright, but it is a real gift 12:13 when somebody says to us that behavior will trip you up. 12:17 It will throw you back into your addictions. 12:19 It took us a while to get through all of this. 12:22 At the same time Janet and I were going to a Seventh-day 12:28 Adventist church faithfully, every Sabbath. 12:31 Growing spiritually? Growing spiritually! 12:35 What she was saying to me was that I am learning about 12:39 your recovery and I want you to learn about my path also. 12:43 So we have done that for 30 years, 12:47 learn about each other's past. 12:50 It wasn't until three years ago. 12:53 That's it? Where you all of a sudden said, 12:56 oh I should let you finish. 12:59 I'm like three years? I'm sorry! 13:03 So what was going on we were doing this together because 13:07 that is our relationship. 13:09 How we got married and the person that married us said, 13:14 you know that marriage is like those Canadian geese 13:19 out there, they mate for life. 13:22 If one falls away they don't get married again. 13:27 So take care of each other and walk together, 13:31 so that is what they told us. 13:33 So we have tried to do that the best we could. 13:37 Janet has not been very pushy in the past so about 3 years 13:47 ago I had a problem with my heart. 13:53 I had a triple bypass and that came out, 14:00 and everything was fine. 14:02 Along about December or October, Janet gets a phone call 14:07 from Holbrook asking her to consider coming down 14:16 and going to work. 14:17 And that is the Holbrook Indian school that's were we met? 14:19 She said well I'm not coming unless my husband comes. 14:26 So they said well ask him. That's funny! 14:32 So this was in October and I know that God was talking 14:38 to her because she came to me in November and said 14:43 I need to ask you something. 14:44 I need to ask you, but never got to it. 14:46 About the first week in December she asked me. 14:50 She said, I need to know by next Tuesday, 14:54 she got very assertive. 14:56 They want me to go down to be considered principal at 15:01 Holbrook Indian school, but I told them I won't go 15:07 unless you wanted to go. 15:08 I need your answer by Monday so I can tell them on Tuesday. 15:13 Yeah I know, I think I did that with the Great Controversy. 15:18 I just set it on the shelf. 15:21 Along about Sunday, she needed the answer by Monday, 15:30 I was reading the daily thoughts for the day, 15:38 and it just so happens in December there was a little 15:42 article about God talking to Abraham. 15:45 God told Abraham to get out of this country and go 15:50 to some place where I want you to go. 15:53 I will make you a great nation. 15:59 Then on Monday I read the same message again. 16:04 On Tuesday I read the same message again. 16:07 Then Tuesday afternoon Janet came in and said, 16:11 I need the answer what is it? 16:13 I said here it is right here. 16:15 And it was clearly there? 16:17 He was clearly there for him. 16:19 So I said I'm already there, I don't know about you. 16:26 So that is where our journey started with going to Holbrook. 16:34 I want to ask you, what amazes me in our recovery, 16:38 is what I have learned for myself is that I thought my 16:42 recovery was just to clean me up. 16:43 Just to stop me from, God didn't want me to be a 16:46 heroine addict, or an alcoholic, or homeless and all that. 16:50 I think it was a point as I walked in my recovery, 16:53 as I started to get it, that God finally said, 16:56 is there a point where you can let that go and let Me 16:59 show you who you are and what I want you to be? 17:02 When He says to you I want you to move, I need you to do 17:05 something bigger than yourself and your recovery, 17:07 is to help these kids to stand up. 17:10 Did you get that sense that we are moving to a incredible.. 17:16 It's an incredible journey. It is an incredible journey! 17:22 God has blessed both Janet and I, giving us the same direction 17:30 because we both have worked in education for a long time. 17:35 Maybe some insight on how to help young 17:39 Native American children to become... 17:42 That are lost in addiction and need 17:45 somebody to stand them up, maybe their families 17:48 have been in addictions? 17:49 Maybe, that would give them some sound footing in which 17:55 to begin their own journeys. 17:57 Exactly because you, what was interesting to me when I did 18:00 come out to the school, and Janet you and I talked and I 18:04 realized, I almost heard you in your testimony that God 18:08 was standing up this incredible woman of God in this 18:12 relationship, but then I sit with the kids and realize that 18:15 there are kids that are absolutely incredible. 18:17 at the school, who have no idea who they are. 18:20 The gift that you give them at the school is to show them 18:25 who they are, and allow them to walk into that. 18:29 The school started in 1946 and they have never had an 18:35 Native American person heading that school. 18:38 So when I came on there was a lot of hype about me being 18:42 a Native American, being the first to head the school. 18:47 It scared me because it was what do they expect me to 18:52 create miracles and this and that. 18:55 And I can't fail? I can't fail! 18:58 It really scared me at first, but then I got, what was so 19:03 neat, I was starting to talk with the kids and starting 19:08 to listen to their stories. 19:10 Every single child that goes to that school has a story. 19:16 All the stories that I heard so far, have not been very good. 19:23 They have been very hard and it makes me cry to hear 19:30 the stories inside I can hear their hurt. 19:33 So for me to be there, and all the experience that I have 19:39 gone through, all the education experiences, 19:42 I have worked on reservations most of my career was 19:47 working on reservations with children and learning about 19:51 all kinds of different ways to run a school and 19:56 how to do things and to work with kids. 19:58 It is just something to me is that God has prepared 20:04 all of this, all of this. 20:07 You can feel He is hand in it? 20:09 Yes, even when we were driving over here and it is really 20:14 bad out and snowing, even with that I said to my husband, 20:18 I said, isn't it wonderful how God prepared us to even 20:23 drive in the snow for the school? 20:25 We lived in South Dakota and the snow and ice is all 20:29 South Dakota and we know how to do this. 20:32 It is wonderful how He has done that, every single thing 20:36 that we have gone through is something that we can 20:39 use at the school to help the kids. 20:42 That I think amazes me more than anything. 20:45 I think as addicts that we think it is about one thing. 20:49 At first we think it is only about our recovery. 20:52 It is only the fact that God doesn't want us to drink. 20:56 I think all of heaven says no, it is so bigger than that. 20:59 Because you don't even know who you are. 21:01 You don't know how incredible you are as a woman of God. 21:05 As the giftings He has given you. 21:07 As your ability to speak into the life of the people around 21:10 you, as a man of God, the giftings I have given you. 21:13 When the guy stood in front of you at the school and said 21:16 we have got to reclaim our community, he was really saying 21:20 something much bigger than just getting someone sober. 21:23 We have to reclaim the people, a group. 21:27 I think in my recovery what was interesting to me was getting 21:31 to a point where that is huge, I don't know how to do that 21:35 so I have to let God. 21:38 As soon as you turn it over, and I want to speak to anybody 21:41 that is even watching right now, as soon as you turn it over 21:44 He literally will speak into your life and let you know who 21:47 you are intended to be, and then stand you up. 21:50 All it takes is our willingness to let go and let God. 21:54 It is huge, but do you, do we have any idea how huge that is? 21:58 When we are in the middle of the process? 22:00 Oh no, no, when I was younger I think I was about 18, well 17, 22:07 I was visiting my dad and he said, what do you want be? 22:10 I had just listen to somebody that was on TV, and Evangelist. 22:16 I said I wanted to be an Evangelist. 22:19 He said oh, okay! 22:24 He said don't you want to go to art school, you are really 22:27 good at art, I can send you to art school. 22:30 I said no, I'd like to be an Evangelist. 22:33 You and I one time were talking and it was really funny 22:37 when we work together. 22:38 I'm doing a week of prayer, and you were blessing me by 22:41 letting me come to the school, and you and I with the 22:45 Holy Spirit were so being ministered to that we pulled off 22:49 on the side of the road and just sat as women of God. 22:52 I realized at that point that you are an Evangelist. 22:55 You are a voice for these kids. 23:00 You will teach people what ever they want to know. 23:03 We need to know and we don't have time on this program. 23:06 but we need to know how ignorant we are when we speak of 23:08 the culture that you represent. 23:10 Do you know what I mean, it's because I don't know anything. 23:12 I think I know something and you look at me real kind 23:15 and just like Cheri don't even go there. 23:19 There is so much education that needs to happen. 23:23 I am going to open it up with the kids to ask a question 23:27 if they have one. 23:28 So I'm going to start here with Manuel, 23:31 do you have a question that you would like to ask 23:33 or a comment? 23:35 Mr. Ross what make you want to stop drinking? 23:41 Well I think the reason I wanted to stop drinking is because 23:45 I had six kids that were living with me. 23:49 My oldest son was about 14 or 15 years old. 23:53 I began to realize that they needed more from a father 23:59 then what I was giving them. 24:01 So I basically sobered up for my children. 24:05 I know in treatment they tell you, 24:08 you need to sober up for a higher power. 24:10 But my higher power at that point was my kids. 24:14 So I sobered up for them. 24:16 So you didn't do it for yourself? 24:18 Not at the beginning, it took me about three years to 24:24 understand what the real goal of recovery was. 24:29 It is a very selfish goal in the Indian community, 24:33 but I needed to understand that I needed to sober up for me. 24:37 I did, it took me about two years to find my 24:44 spiritual avenue in which allowed me to feel good about me 24:50 And so it took me a long ways after that. 24:56 I think what a lot of people don't understand with alcohol 25:00 and with drugs, is that usually years of using alcohol you 25:03 don't have a sense of who you are, what you believe, or what 25:07 you think, everything is about the next high, or the next drink 25:11 It is really tough to get in touch with anything that 25:14 is worth saving or living for. 25:17 With the understanding to, as a practicing alcoholic, 25:22 when I started drinking I was 13. 25:28 When I sobered up I was 35, 25:33 but with the mentality of a 13-year-old. 25:37 You know that is the truth. 25:40 I already had grown kids and I was younger than my oldest son. 25:45 What is really funny when you said that your wife is like, 25:50 yes, exactly 13. 25:53 Because we get stuck at that behavior. 25:59 Where ever you start drinking is the age that you stay 26:03 at until you quit. 26:05 So if you are 13, like he was, and he quit at 35 his 26:11 mentality was still 13. 26:14 So you grow 2 ways, you grow in being able to, 26:18 we still say we are recovering alcoholics, 26:21 we are still alcoholics no matter what, 26:23 we are still alcoholics. 26:25 But as we recover we also will recover in maturity level 26:30 so as we get older our lives get better because we get 26:34 to become adults instead of being children. 26:36 What is really fun to me about the whole recovery, 26:38 is learning to even play. 26:40 My play was so twisted because of the addictions, 26:44 so learning how to play and laugh and socialize 26:47 and be responsible. 26:50 Somebody would say just be responsible, I would be going 26:52 I don't want to, I so don't want to do that. 26:55 We are these rebellious kids and it is really interesting 27:00 when you said you got married in that stage. 27:03 So the first five years, you say that very easily but 27:07 it would was pretty tough to grow up together. 27:10 Yeah very hard. 27:12 I think it got easier when I found a little sense of 27:15 my own spiritual growth. 27:17 I found what God meant to me at that point in time. 27:23 And God asked me through various ways to keep walking, 27:28 keep walking I have something for you. 27:31 I'm still waiting for that, but in God's own time 27:37 He will come through and I believe that. 27:40 We have another question Lorenzo you had a question. 27:43 Yeah I know part of the effects when you give up something 27:48 like also giving up everything about it. 27:52 For both of you what do you miss about giving up 27:58 your addictions and what are you happy that 28:01 you've gained in return? 28:05 That is a great question! Good question! 28:06 I don't miss anything about giving up my addictions because 28:12 I was so afraid of it, When I decided to quit. 28:15 I decided that was it, so I was looking for a way to quit. 28:20 I did not want to do this anymore. 28:22 I didn't want to get drunk, I didn't want to, I had a child 28:26 that was three years old and I couldn't be a mother 28:32 and be that way. 28:34 So I was looking for a way, I didn't know how to do that. 28:40 I didn't know what to do and so when I met Heppy then it 28:46 was like wow, here is someone that quit. 28:50 He gave me strength because he quit. 28:54 So there is nothing in addiction in fact we have a saying 29:00 as an alcoholic, once you quit if you take another drink, 29:05 then you are lost for ever because you can't come back. 29:11 It is hard, you lose everything and that is too much to 29:16 lose so there is nothing about addiction that 29:19 I would not ever, ever want. 29:20 I don't like the highs I don't like any of it. 29:23 Having to lie and manipulate to make excuses 29:27 at home and at work. 29:28 Exactly, exactly! 29:30 The only thing, the thing on my own addiction that 29:34 worked for me is I could totally escape. 29:37 If I was in pain, or dealing with something in my past, 29:41 or some stress I didn't want to deal with, one thing that 29:44 worked for me every time for me is I could totally escape. 29:48 It was hard for me to learn, like when you said what did you 29:51 replace it with, in learn to replace that you and learn 29:55 not to escape with something that is going to create 29:58 more issues for me. 30:00 I had to replace it with something that was healthier. 30:02 Did you find that? 30:03 It took me a long time to find that and God was what 30:09 I replaced it with. 30:11 Because He is so cool, I have a crush on Him right now. 30:14 He does such wonderful things 30:17 and I didn't really understand God 30:21 that much and until the last couple years when I 30:25 ask God to please help me to know Him. 30:28 What kind of things did He do? 30:32 Because that is big recovery stuff, show me Your face. 30:37 Part of it was I started reading the Bible and I asked 30:43 God what part shall I read? 30:45 He said read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John because those are 30:49 My in the red words, read that over and over. 30:52 In the red for people who don't know that, 30:55 the red letters are the words of Christ Himself. 30:59 Yes, and so I think I read those books may be 5 or 10 times, 31:04 just going over it. 31:07 Now I'm going back to it again, I am reading it again. 31:09 Every time I read it feels like I am learning more, and more, 31:15 and He is giving me more strength to do that. 31:25 I used to get into depression, severe depression. 31:28 They were so debilitating that I would end up in a corner 31:34 crying for hours and hours and hours. 31:38 Then when I couldn't cry anymore then it was like it took me 31:44 2 to 3 weeks to be able to even function again. 31:48 As I stop drinking those continued. 31:58 A lot of people will say you self medicated to not deal 32:03 with drinking and drugs. 32:05 Right! So those continued but what happened was about 32:10 3 years ago I started to get into a depression. 32:15 I got into it but it was like for maybe a week instead 32:20 of 2 or 3,4 weeks, it was a week and when I came out again 32:24 God helped me out of it. 32:26 He said you can't do that anymore, 32:29 you don't have any more energy. You're dead to that now. 32:33 The energy that it takes for you to come back to Me 32:37 is too much, you do not have that anymore. 32:40 You cannot get depressed anymore. 32:43 So every time Satan comes to me and says you are not a 32:48 very good person, you do this, even the school things, 32:52 you are not a good principle. 32:54 You do this, I have to say to Satan, get away from me. 32:58 I'm not listening anymore. 33:01 Right, God is here and I don't have the energy and 33:03 He said that and I'm not going to do that anymore. 33:09 That has made me love God so much more because to be 33:15 relieved of those depressions it's huge. 33:18 What is really interesting because I think that is 33:22 the other side of recovery. 33:23 It is not only freedom from the drugs and alcohol, 33:26 but let Me show you a different way to live. 33:28 Don't receive the depression anymore. 33:30 What He told me with mine, is when all that stuff starts 33:33 hitting you, don't let it play out in your head and go out 33:36 and ride your bike, go out and do something. 33:39 I have a bike that I ride. 33:41 It is really interesting that God says, let Me show you 33:44 a different way, everything that you use to do, got you 33:47 to the place where you wanted to drink or use, 33:50 so don't do it that way. 33:52 He told me to sing songs in my head. 33:55 So I am not a very good singer, 33:57 so in my head I am really good. 34:01 I can carry a tune. 34:02 I can carry a tune I know all the tunes in my head. 34:05 I love that. 34:07 I asked God to really help me to try and 34:09 remember those words. 34:10 That is what has helped me so much is that every step of 34:16 the way, sometimes I fall back. 34:18 There are times when I fall back and I start saying what 34:23 am I doing here? I'm trying to help the kids in here I'm 34:28 doing, not doing good and God says, stop it! 34:35 You are doing good! 34:36 Yeah, stop it, you are fine. 34:37 So there is nothing about addiction to me is of any use. 34:45 So what did you replace it with? 34:47 Because the second part of your question was what 34:49 did you replace it with? 34:52 In actuality I don't know. 34:55 You said God for one. 34:57 Because I learned later as I started to read the Bible. 35:01 Can I answer for you then? 35:02 Yes, how about your passion for these kids? 35:07 Oh yeah, teaching, teaching and being with. 35:11 Finding someone to reach out to. 35:14 12 step programs talk about taking 35:17 the message to someone else. 35:18 The message that I learned I'm taking to someone else, 35:20 and I think if we do not do that. 35:23 We actually get stuck, there is a thing about saying 35:28 I cannot take everything that I have been blessed with. 35:31 I can't take all this thing I'm being healed with and 35:35 keep it in my own pockets. 35:36 Help somebody else with it. 35:38 It feels really weird if you try to do that, you just can't. 35:43 You can't and I worked in Native American schools almost 35:47 the whole time that I have worked. 35:50 I tried working in non-native schools and 35:55 that doesn't work for me. 35:57 It doesn't work because it's not your calling. 35:59 We have so ran out of time and it kills me to say goodbye to 36:02 you two, I want to say goodbye and say thank you for coming. 36:06 I want to say that if anybody out there hears and wants to 36:10 pray for your Ministry, pray for you individually, 36:14 and then the Ministry and man I love you guys. 36:17 We will be right back, stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17