Celebrating Life in Recovery

Alcohol And Drug Abuse

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Dwight Hall, Debbie Hall


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR00063B

00:14 Welcome Back!
00:15 I'm going to start out with
00:16 one of my favorite texts
00:17 I say this all the time
00:18 because I think they really are
00:20 all my favorite texts.
00:21 I want to start out with Proverbs 3:5 and for anybody
00:24 that is recovering from anything.
00:26 If you have any hang-ups, any junk that is just causing you
00:30 pain, any habit that you have, this is a good text for you.
00:34 It says in Proverbs 3:5, "trust in the Lord with all your
00:37 heart," well that makes sense.
00:39 Trust God, turned it over to Him.
00:40 Let Him do it.
00:41 "Lean not unto your own understanding," because your own
00:44 understanding got you exactly where you are at.
00:46 I could go visit people in jail and they will be all strung
00:50 out in jail facing whatever there is their prison term is.
00:54 They'll say you know what Cheri I am fine, and I look around
00:58 and thinking find does not look like that.
01:00 I even work with people that have their liver shutting down
01:03 and all that stuff, and they say you know what I have no
01:05 problems, I'm doing okay.
01:06 I'm thinking okay doesn't look like that.
01:09 So this one says, "lean not on your own understanding and
01:12 in all your ways acknowledge him," which is God,
01:14 "and he will direct your paths. "
01:16 He will take your foot and put your foot one
01:18 in front of the other.
01:20 For addicts we're in rebellion and think do
01:24 I want someone to do that?
01:26 Do I want someone to put one foot in front of the other?
01:27 Do I want someone to say when to stand up
01:30 and went to sit down?
01:31 Yes, absolutely, and I am not even saying that,
01:36 if it was for somebody that didn't taking care about you,
01:40 if it was someone that didn't delight in your recovery,
01:43 if it was somebody that didn't,
01:45 every single thing about God is for us.
01:48 Every single thing about His love is for us.
01:52 He wants us to laugh out loud and understand who we are.
01:55 Every single gift and talent we have,
01:57 He says let Me unfold that for you.
01:58 I was a heroine addict, strung out and illiterate and now I
02:01 travel the world, and I love life, and I have a family that
02:04 is amazing and it is all because God was so for me.
02:07 He said let me direct your path, don't be afraid of that.
02:12 7 says, Proverbs 3:7 says, "do not be wise in your own eyes,"
02:17 and I am talking to you!
02:19 Somebody out there, you know who I'm talking to.
02:21 Do not think that you can figure it out.
02:24 I got every book on the planet.
02:25 I got all that kind of stuff and I could not get it.
02:28 "Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord
02:30 and depart from evil".
02:31 If you question what is evil, What do you mean by that,
02:36 ask God and then shut up and let Him tell you.
02:41 I used to think evil was somebody doing a Ouija board,
02:45 or terra cards, and God said no Cheri it's your lying.
02:49 I'm like, what!
02:52 So ask Him in your own life what does evil look like.
02:56 It may be a few have a religious addiction, or your
02:59 perfectionism, or your critical spirit, your evil may
03:02 look different than a heroine addict's evil.
03:04 A heroine addict's evil may be a needle, a syringe,
03:07 maybe the fact that he steals and plays people,
03:09 but everybody looks different.
03:11 So go and ask God, what does it mean to depart from evil?
03:14 Don't be wise in your own eyes and stay way from evil.
03:18 8 says, and this is cool, "it will be health to your
03:22 flesh and strength to your bones. "
03:24 If you get this it I literally will build you up.
03:27 There is another place and Isaiah 58 which is probably
03:31 my favorite text, I know I always say that but Isaiah 58
03:35 says you will be like a watered garden.
03:37 Everything about you will bring health to people,
03:40 Heath to your own bones but when somebody sits next to you
03:43 it will be like sitting next to someone in a watered garden,
03:46 with flowers blooming, air fresh and all that stuff
03:50 and I so want that.
03:51 God is saying, give it to Me, turn it over to Me and
03:57 I will change everything.
03:58 He will change everything in a way you just say
04:01 how cool are you!
04:02 How cool are you?
04:04 I want to introduce you to some friends of mine Dwight
04:06 and Deb, I want to say thank you for being on our program.
04:09 But before you say a word I want to say to the audience
04:13 some people have seen you before on 3ABN in a different
04:16 capacity with your Ministry a few times, a billion times
04:20 and I was a little bit afraid of having you on the
04:23 program for that very reason.
04:27 If people know you I want them to let that go,
04:30 I want you to just come out in your testimony.
04:33 How did you find God?
04:34 What was your walk like initially?
04:37 When did you decide to turn it over and let
04:39 Him actually direct your steps?
04:41 When did you fall in love with Him?
04:43 We are going to talk about that stuff.
04:44 That's great a lot of people that have seen me,
04:47 they just think when they
04:49 see somebody that has already
04:50 been converted and that is all they see,
04:53 they can't see anything else, but for me
04:56 it is very real and I have never forgotten that.
04:59 For me a started when I was just a child because
05:01 I wanted to do what was right.
05:03 I grew up in a nice Christian home, a good Christian home.
05:05 Your parents loved you through all that stuff?
05:08 Yeah they loved me, it was a very loving family and
05:11 my dad was very strict.
05:13 When he said jump I asked how high and I'm serious,
05:16 I'm not kidding.
05:17 As I went to church I learned the neat stories of
05:19 baby Moses, Daniel in the lion's den, David and Goliath,
05:23 and I loved that.
05:24 What cracks me up when you say that, the first thing I
05:28 remember learning how the first song, it was a song about
05:31 a guy looking for a cigarette butt,
05:33 because my dad was a bartender.
05:35 So not all kids get that, but you are saying you got that.
05:38 I got that and I think a lot of people of think when you
05:41 do get that is like an automatic shoo into Christianity.
05:44 It is not, because a lot of hurting people out there that
05:47 should know God and grew up going into churches but
05:52 they're hurting big-time.
05:54 They are hurting as much as the drug addicts are hurting
05:57 out there, because they don't have God either.
05:58 To me I don't care what you're doing, if you don't have God,
06:01 you don't have God.
06:02 You are saying that you saw some of that?
06:05 I saw some of that and the sad part about it is they
06:08 didn't mean it they thought they were safe, perceptions reality
06:12 I could see they weren't.
06:14 I decided at a young age that I did want to play church.
06:17 I figured that if I was going to do something it was going
06:21 to be real and God already knew about it so
06:23 I was very honest and I left the church.
06:26 I left the church as I got older.
06:27 Your parents were sending you to church school and
06:30 all that kind of stuff?
06:31 They did all that stuff, in fact Cheri the first Academy
06:36 I went to was called a church academy and I went there.
06:40 I did not want to go there, I went to public school
06:43 all my life and it was the first time, I was a Seventh-day
06:47 Adventist and we couldn't play the games on Saturday.
06:50 We couldn't go to birthday parties and so I grew up
06:52 thinking what's wrong with all this?
06:53 Why you can't do this you have to do that to be a Christian.
06:57 So when I went to Academy, they made me go and my mother
07:01 said Dwight, give it three months and
07:04 if you don't like it you can come back home.
07:06 I thought for sure I was coming home because I
07:07 want to play football and I can play on Thursday nights
07:09 for the first time in my life, I love sports.
07:11 I was in the dorm and I got to be friends with the kids
07:15 there, but my junior year, after going for three years,
07:19 I ended up getting kicked out of Academy.
07:21 If you can imagine.
07:22 How did you did get kicked out of Academy?
07:23 Well people can get kicked out doing different things,
07:26 but for me it was smoking pot, I learned to smoke pot,
07:29 I learned to drink, and I learned to swear at Academy.
07:31 What is really interesting is that a lot of times when
07:34 we think that somebody is going to church, going to Academy,
07:36 going to Christian school, that none of that is there.
07:39 That's right!
07:40 That's not, it may be a safer environment, but unless people
07:43 are real enough to look at the issues it's all there.
07:47 You know I think to be honest, people might disagree,
07:50 I think it is an unsafe environment many times because
07:53 we are supposed to be better.
07:54 So we are playing this churchy game that we are Christians
07:57 and we are going to a church academy and
07:59 my kids are going to grow up.
08:00 Many young people that have gone to Academy,
08:04 church academy's, are no longer in the church. Period!
08:07 So it wasn't safe for me I will tell you.
08:09 Let me tell you how I start out a presentation
08:11 at a church school.
08:12 And people hate this, I'm surprised that
08:16 I don't get fired sometimes.
08:17 I'll go in, my name is Cheri from 3ABN and pretty soon
08:20 you hear groans from the kids come because they think
08:23 that is too conservative, too churchy.
08:26 I say raise your hand if you're smoking weed yet,
08:28 or having sex with each other, or if you doing any of that
08:31 kind of stuff because I just need to know
08:33 who I am talking to.
08:34 They are like, I am so not raising my hand and pretty soon
08:38 they are giggling and I said okay so
08:40 we know who each other is.
08:41 We are going to be talking about all that stuff.
08:44 Raise your hand if you are cutting.
08:46 Raise your hand if you are suicidal.
08:47 Raise your hand if you are dealing with rage issues.
08:50 Raise your hand if your parents are divorced.
08:52 I mean all that stuff that people pretends does not happen.
08:55 Let's talk about that because I know there are kids like
08:59 you that are hurting and are hurting in the building.
09:03 I think a lot of times kids, like your going in which
09:07 really to me is great and honorable because they want
09:11 to relate themselves, something isn't working.
09:14 So here I am running around with all these kids and is not
09:16 working for them, most of them, and it is not working for me.
09:19 You're smoking weed your drinking?
09:20 I'm drinking, smoking weed and get kicked out.
09:23 I had gone back to public school, but some my friends
09:26 got kicked out with me, they went to another academy.
09:29 So I begged my mother and father, please just let me go.
09:32 I will be good this time and so they finally let me go at
09:34 the beginning of the semester and it wasn't but 9 weeks
09:37 and I was kicked out that academy also.
09:39 Same reasons?
09:40 Taking drugs that time, I wasn't smoking pot I was taking
09:42 drugs and at that point in time, I will never forget this
09:45 and I thank God for mothers that care for you
09:48 because I ran away.
09:49 I packed some stuff in my suit case.
09:53 There was this town student, that means he was from town,
09:56 that he went to school in the dorm and I opened the window
09:58 up because they were going to take me to the hospital
10:00 just take a urine sample from me.
10:02 I didn't want to do that.
10:03 So I said listen can you get me out of this place?
10:06 He said yeah man come on down, so I ran out the
10:09 fire escape and I took off.
10:11 I thought I better let my mom know.
10:12 Back then they had to pay phones, it was a little town,
10:14 I got on the pay phone and said mom, I'm not coming home.
10:17 She was just crying and she would not let me off that phone,
10:20 she said Dwight I love you, we all make mistakes.
10:22 I said that I had made too many, I have already gotten
10:24 kicked out twice, I have failed you,
10:25 and I am never coming home again.
10:27 But she would not let me of that phone and I went home,
10:29 but I did make one promise, I am not playing church anymore.
10:32 That is about the time I start going away from church and
10:35 getting out and started drinking, ended up going into
10:38 the service because again I think we all want to be special.
10:41 I believe that is true to any young person, or even as we
10:45 get older we want to be somebody.
10:46 I still wanted to be somebody.
10:48 So we're talking about you right now,
10:49 you wanted to be somebody? I wanted to be somebody.
10:51 You wanted to be special?
10:52 I didn't want to be a failure, I wanted to be somebody and
10:55 so I thought I was working for my dad in construction and
10:58 one-day about noon it was raining and I went into town and
11:01 went by this army recruit office sitting inside.
11:05 So I went in there and I wasn't about to join the service,
11:07 that was stupid, but I went in there.
11:09 He said what would you like to do in your life?
11:11 Well I'm thinking I don't want to go to school but if he
11:15 could get me a job over in Hawaii...
11:18 That would be so good! Wouldn't it?
11:21 I'm 17 years old, if I go to Hawaii I can learn to surf,
11:26 I can be on those nice beautiful beaches,
11:29 with all these nice young women,
11:30 get weed, get pot, and be a truck driver.
11:32 He said if I can get you to be a truck driver in Hawaii,
11:36 would you join?
11:37 I said absolutely, and you know what he did.
11:40 He said all you have to do now is take a physical,
11:43 and I went to Detroit, being in Michigan.
11:45 I took a physical exam and a written test and when I got
11:49 done there was this mean looking guy that came out in this
11:52 uniform and he had a beret on.
11:55 He came out and said, Hall, come in here.
11:58 So I walked in the office and thought I obviously was getting
12:03 in trouble and wondered what I did wrong now?
12:05 He said you know what, you passed not only your physical,
12:07 but you passed your written test with flying colors.
12:09 Of course that made me happy because
12:11 I hardly graduated from school.
12:12 He says we have a few jobs for some special people,
12:16 would you like to join?
12:17 He said I will tell you it is going to be tough,
12:19 but when we get done with you you'll no longer be skinny,
12:22 you will be lean and mean.
12:23 Of course there was that special thing, and I wanted to
12:25 be special so I joined the Airborne Rangers.
12:28 No kidding!
12:29 I lost my truck driving job in Hawaii, no surfboards,
12:32 the training was tough, but again it was because
12:34 I wanted to be somebody.
12:36 Exactly, and that is an elite group where you are built up.
12:42 Yeah but training is tough they teach you how to kill,
12:44 I mean you are the first to battle.
12:46 In fact when I got back from the physical in Detroit,
12:50 I went into the Army recruiting station office,
12:52 I don't remember the guys name, he said did you pass?
12:55 I said yeah I passed, everything turned out great,
12:57 but one problem.
12:58 He said what he is that?
12:59 I'm not going to go to Hawaii,
13:01 I am not going to be a truck driver.
13:02 He said what do you mean, what did you do?
13:04 I said I changed where I'm going.
13:06 He said, like what?
13:08 I said I'm going to be an Airborne Ranger,
13:10 I'm going to live the life of danger, I was so excited.
13:12 He said you've got to be kidding me?
13:15 I said why? He said let me show you a film!
13:17 I said fine and he punched in the film.
13:20 I was watching it, and it mentioned in battle the
13:24 Rangers had about an 11 minute life span on the average,
13:26 and I thought I'm not going to die, this is neat.
13:29 So when he got all done, we had jumped out of airplanes,
13:30 and he showed all the stuff and when he got then
13:33 he said what do you think about that?
13:34 I said man I can't wait.
13:35 I was excited because...
13:36 you were on the edge anyway and you wanted to be special
13:39 and all that stuff.
13:41 That's right, I wanted to be special.
13:42 I wasn't thinking about anything to do with God,
13:45 I just wanted to be special, I didn't want to be a
13:48 failure the rest of my life.
13:50 So I got into the service and really started drinking.
13:53 Isn't that interesting, with the religion,
13:55 that when you looked around and it looked like everybody was
13:58 failures, you are not happy in your life,
14:00 you believe this 100% but it hasn't reflected on anything.
14:04 So that wasn't a draw to you, but this was?
14:06 This was because it seemed real, I mean
14:08 I am going to do something that's real.
14:09 I'm going to do something that is truly successful.
14:12 I do not care how hard it is.
14:13 You know to be successful Cheri, especially young people,
14:16 it doesn't matter how hard it is.
14:18 It has to be real! It has to be real.
14:20 That was the thing with me is that it had to be real and
14:23 I didn't care what kind of training it was, I didn't care
14:26 what I had to do, all I wanted to do was be successful.
14:29 I did not want to play and be superficial for
14:32 the rest of my life.
14:33 So this was right on the edge, you were training hard,
14:37 you were drinking hard, hanging out with people that were
14:40 doing the same thing you are doing?
14:41 Exact same thing, but even then I knew I needed a Savior.
14:45 I did not know it in those words but I knew I wasn't happy,
14:49 I knew things were so missing in my life, and I remember one
14:52 night from the service I came home dead drunk.
14:55 I remember because you always bunk with somebody and that
14:59 person wasn't there, I went in my room, I got on my knees and
15:03 I remember folding my hands on the bunk bed there and just
15:07 said Lord I am a mess.
15:09 I know that there is a God out there,
15:11 but I don't know what to do.
15:13 I mean I might be lean and mean, but successful, everything
15:17 that I thought was successful it wasn't working so that night
15:21 when I was down on my knees I was just saying Lord,
15:24 I need your help.
15:25 You know we start bargaining with God, isn't that amazing?
15:28 Here I am bargaining with the Lord if you will do three things
15:31 for me, I'll change my life around.
15:33 So my first,- three things - three things.
15:36 It wasn't 10 or 15 just 3.
15:38 The first one was I said I want to a nice young woman,
15:41 somebody that would be a Christian that would help me out
15:44 Of course I have to say.
15:46 Let's think of God first, first of all I want to woman,
15:49 I want, that cracks me up.
15:51 But that's what I felt was the truth so I do have to cut
15:56 in here right now, that was with Deb,
15:58 and the Lord brought me to Deb on that situation.
16:02 Shortly after that?
16:03 Well after I got out of the service.
16:05 So it was probably a year or so after that,
16:07 that was the first prayer.
16:08 So after that I said Lord I want to learn to walk with You,
16:12 I have heard all the stories about Enoch walking with God,
16:16 and hear Moses is in the wilderness and he learns
16:18 to hear His voice.
16:20 Lord I don't hear Your voice, I believe You are there
16:24 but I just don't hear it so the second one was
16:26 I want to hear God's voice.
16:28 I want to be a real Christian,
16:30 I just didn't know what that was.
16:31 The third thing was, I want to get out the service early.
16:35 I had had enough of it.
16:36 I was finding people that were superficial in there now,
16:39 and it seemed like everywhere I was going,
16:41 people were not real.
16:43 I love the way you said that because there is lot of people,
16:45 I am from the world.
16:48 You know you want to say that in the Christian sense,
16:51 I didn't have any religious restrictions or any of that
16:53 kind of stuff.
16:55 Some body that have religious restrictions say you know what I
16:57 think they're more real out there I'm thinking who lied
16:59 to you I think people are people are people and until we really
17:04 engage in life we are going to be superficial.
17:07 It really takes a commitment to say you know what,
17:10 I actually want to be engaged with people around me,
17:13 and my spirituality with God.
17:15 I think that is right and I think so many people that are
17:20 watching the show, if they can realize it,
17:22 God only made one of you.
17:24 He did not make a thousand, He made one,
17:27 and you need to be who you are in the Lord.
17:30 Don't try to be like everyone else because I think we
17:32 get all messed up trying to be somebody that we are not.
17:35 Have you ever heard people say, I wish I was taller?
17:37 I wish I was shorter?
17:39 I wish I was skinnier?
17:40 I wish I had blue eyes instead of brown eyes?
17:42 I wish I had black hair instead of blonde hair.
17:44 We all want to be something
17:45 we are not, and once we
17:46 realize that God made me,
17:48 who He wanted me to be and we
17:50 trust in Him things start rolling off our shoulders.
17:53 Then we turn it over to Him and that's where
17:56 the starting point begins.
17:58 So you had the prayer, three things.
17:59 I had the prayer with three things,
18:01 I did get the first thing that happened,
18:02 I got out of service early.
18:03 How come?
18:04 Well I told my captain, that is another long story just
18:08 really shortly I really think things out if I am going to
18:11 go speak to someone I don't want to look like an idiot.
18:13 I can see you going up saying,
18:15 I'm sorry this is not working for me.
18:16 Well that is about what I said,
18:19 I just said this army is not for me and
18:22 I knew what the captain would say,
18:24 or I thought that I did.
18:26 That any way to make a long story short I did get
18:28 out of service early and I told them why.
18:30 I said I am taking orders from sergeants that have been
18:34 in here 10 years and they tell me to mop the floor and
18:37 then we had to listen, I might say we ought to strip the
18:40 floor before we wax it.
18:41 Then they say listen you are just a PFC so do what
18:44 I tell you and then the captain comes up and inspects the
18:46 place and it is a mess and says you should
18:48 have stripped the floor first.
18:50 I always told my captain, it is not working and he let
18:54 me out early and then right after that I meant Deb.
18:58 Where?
19:00 Back in Michigan because we are from Michigan and that's
19:02 where I meant Deb, that was a great thing.
19:05 But Deb were you Christian at the time?
19:08 Were you partying with him?
19:09 No, and no partying, no I just met him.
19:13 Didn't go to church.
19:15 So you had no religious background?
19:17 Not really, no.
19:21 So when I meant Deb that was an answer to my prayer,
19:25 but the last thing I said that I wanted to be real
19:27 Christian didn't even happen for a while after that.
19:31 I was still drinking and we ended up getting married
19:34 which was a great thing.
19:35 I told her that I would love and cherish her in sickness
19:38 and health and all that and I was starting
19:41 a business of my own at the time.
19:42 Trying to take care of Deb but we had no money,
19:45 I think many young people have no money.
19:48 Very active in the church.
19:50 So he introduced that to you, and you went back to church?
19:53 I went back to church but I still was not, at the time,
19:56 I was getting more active before I really gave
19:59 my heart to the Lord.
20:00 I was still drinking, it was amazing I could close the bar
20:03 down on Friday night, and there are so many things you
20:06 wouldn't do, some people may not understand this but,
20:09 there are certain things that a Seventh-day Adventist
20:12 you did or did not do like eating clean and unclean food.
20:14 So I would never, even in the service, even if I was starving
20:17 I wouldn't eat any pork, but I would drink.
20:20 That was not as bad as eating pork.
20:26 I would buy something on Friday night,
20:27 but would not buy it on Saturday.
20:29 Each just not even right but perception is reality.
20:32 What is really interesting to me is that until we actually
20:36 turned over to God we will set up our own rules and
20:38 we will follow those rules.
20:39 I remember, tell the story about the ham sandwich
20:42 when you ordered a ham sandwich.
20:43 Well that was a normal thing for me to do and he asked me
20:46 do you have to eat that?
20:48 I said no but you know
20:50 it is good, so he would say well and would start explaining
20:57 a few things and I would just say she show me in the
21:00 Bible were I can't eat a ham sandwich?
21:02 Just show me.
21:03 And so he took it to the Leviticus. Yeah!
21:05 I would show her.
21:07 And you are still drinking - oh yeah I was drinking a lot.
21:10 Then he would say you probably shouldn't be doing this,
21:13 or you probably should be doing that and
21:15 I was like okay show me that the Bible.
21:17 So he would show me that the Bible.
21:18 This is the funniest story ever.
21:20 You have got to say about what you are trying to
21:23 tell him how much he drank and asked if you could
21:26 have his cans for what? Tell that story.
21:29 Now we are very active in the church.
21:37 We were very active though, but he is drinking a lot.
21:40 I mean he would go out with my brother or couple of his
21:44 buddies and I would say why do you have to go out with them?
21:46 Why don't you want to be with me?
21:49 But anyway I remember asking him you know any beer cans
21:54 that you have can I have the money.
21:57 Yeah we didn't have no money.
21:59 He's like well you're not going to get very much,
22:02 I mean they are only $.10 a can.
22:03 I say can I have the money from the beer cans?
22:05 He said yes, and I said are you positive I can do whatever
22:09 I want with the money from your beer cans?
22:12 Yeah, no problem.
22:14 So I did - are you smart?
22:16 Because most alcoholics we do not know
22:19 how many beer cans we actually have.
22:21 He did not think he drank that much at home,
22:24 he might ride around with a couple guys,
22:26 but he did not really realize how much
22:28 he was doing at home.
22:29 So I would save the cans and I would take them and save
22:33 that money which did not take very long I go out
22:35 and getting new outfit.
22:37 Then he would come and say where did you get that outfit?
22:40 Like every husband says.
22:41 Yeah I was upset because here we had no money and women
22:45 normally have a lot more dresses than the men have pants
22:48 so I would say Honey we can't afford it.
22:50 Where in the world, we don't have any money.
22:52 She said it was from - beer cans I would save that money.
22:56 So what did you think when she said that?
22:58 Because if you get it at all you have to know that.
23:00 He didn't get it - he didn't get it?
23:02 I didn't believe it, what really changed was when she
23:07 was dragging out these big black garbage bags that would
23:11 be put in one of these big dumpsters, and it was filled
23:15 with beer cans and I said where have you been?
23:18 Where did you get those, you did not get those from home?
23:22 And every one of them.
23:24 I did not believe it at first, but it was true and
23:28 I thought I have a bigger problem than I thought I had.
23:30 So little by little with just break and denial.
23:32 Can we talk about the windowsill?
23:36 Sure! That would be embarrassing.
23:40 Now I think that was more a breaking stone for him.
23:44 He would come home late, or what ever, he didn't go out
23:47 and party a lot but he still will go out
23:50 especially with my brother.
23:52 But this one particular night he was standing at the
23:55 window and I had a candy dish there and I thought he was
23:58 unwrapping a piece of candy.
24:00 I realized what he was doing now is like Dwight,
24:04 you need to go to the bathroom.
24:06 He was peeing on the windowsill, a wide windowsill.
24:10 He thought he was in the bathroom?
24:13 He did not even know what was going on,
24:14 I kept saying go to bathroom, go to the bathroom
24:15 go to the bathroom.
24:16 Well he did go into the bathroom but
24:17 he came right back out and crashed in bed.
24:22 So I had to, it took me three huge towels
24:27 and had to soak all this stuff up.
24:28 I just threw it in the tub and the next morning
24:30 I said Dwight, I said you need to get yourself together
24:34 because this is what you did last night.
24:37 And he's like get out.
24:39 He is like angry, very angry, I did not.
24:41 I said you go and smell the towels.
24:43 I told her Honey I am not in the mood for jokes
24:46 I have a terrible headache.
24:47 Yeah I bet you do.
24:49 Don't be kidding me this isn't it time to joke,
24:52 talk to me later.
24:53 She said I am not kidding you, you go smell those towels.
24:55 They were definitely in there and I was livid.
24:58 So I'm just going to say right now because a lot of people
25:01 will say to me Cheri why do people have
25:03 to air people's laundry like that?
25:05 I'm thinking because it is lot of our laundries,
25:07 I lot of us are doing crazy stuff,
25:09 we are hiding drinking, we don't know how much we are drinking.
25:12 We are trying to play, we are trying to have
25:14 two different lives our professional life,
25:16 our church life, our home life.
25:18 I think for God when He says how am I going to heal
25:21 you if you can't even see the issues?
25:24 So the reason we are so blessed by you guys sharing
25:27 this kind of stuff, is that you had to see it before
25:31 you could even get well.
25:32 Anybody that is watching has to see it before
25:34 they can get well.
25:35 And I think we have to be honest, like I said I didn't
25:38 want to play church, and I did not want to be unreal.
25:40 You are all that at that moment?
25:42 I was all that, but I did not want to be.
25:44 I think most of us don't truly want to be that way,
25:47 but I didn't anyway.
25:48 But she was very patient, she tells lot of people,
25:53 a lot of people when I share my testimony come up to me
25:56 and say to Dwight I'm so glad you have bared your soul
25:58 and have been honest because
26:00 we have a lot in common and they will look at Deb and say,
26:03 honey I don't you put up with such a jerk all these years?
26:06 But she was patient, she loved me and knew that I loved her.
26:10 And you knew he was a good guy.
26:11 He just had to see this.
26:13 He just needed to grow up, and he's working on that.
26:18 But that was the starting of a changing in me, but Cheri
26:22 I became a vegetarian, I came back into to the church
26:27 through the health message because I was a terrible eater.
26:29 When did you mean by that?
26:30 We wouldn't always eat pork like I mentioned,
26:33 I had a terrible diet, I drink 15 to 20 cups of coffee
26:36 every day. I probably drink a 6 pack of Mountain Dew every
26:40 day, of course I was young and the basketball team.
26:43 I was doing a lot of things but eating terrible food.
26:46 I decided that wasn't right and somebody gave me a book
26:50 on health and I started reading it and I went to
26:54 health food stores and get other books.
26:55 I came back in through...
26:57 Did you get a bike?
27:01 I hate bikes Cheri so don't ever get me a bike.
27:04 I like a motorcycle, not a pedal bike, it's too hard, no!
27:09 Anyway I came back through that and
27:11 here was a scary thing for me.
27:13 So you can't even come out all that addiction stuff until
27:16 you start getting healthier, so that's where you are at?
27:19 I think that was the thing, and again I didn't know that
27:21 it clears your mind up and I didn't understand that
27:23 but God was with me.
27:24 I want to say this to the people to let them know,
27:27 God is with us, He never wants to let us go.
27:31 He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
27:33 Even when you are acting like an idiot.
27:34 He didn't say that in the exact words.
27:36 He might have said that and I might not have been listening.
27:38 He is wooing us, He woos all of us
27:40 every single day, every moment of the day.
27:42 It is just that we are so far away sometimes that we
27:44 don't listen and so I always tell people that
27:46 I am not on plan A with God, I haven't been for years.
27:49 I'm on plan double-z, I've went through the alphabet
27:51 at least twice.
27:53 He loves me so much that when He sees me fail,
27:55 He says okay I'll work on the next plan, and start over
27:58 again and bring it back around to where I need to be.
28:02 So He is wooing us and that is what is happening to me.
28:05 The health message by studying I started eating
28:09 healthier and clearing up my mind and
28:10 the scariest thing for me was to quit drinking.
28:13 I was a complete vegetarian before a quick drinking beer.
28:16 Wasn't that the weirdest thing?
28:18 I was afraid that I would have to do?.
28:19 So what where you afraid of?
28:20 I will not have another beer my life.
28:23 I wasn't thinking day by day thinking, I like it,
28:26 I enjoy it and then I want to give up something that
28:29 I enjoy and I end up making excuses like,
28:31 church people are drinking Coke with all the caffeine in it,
28:33 and all the sugar and eating all the donuts and everything
28:36 and I just have a beer now and then.
28:38 It is not a big deal, but I knew in the depths of my
28:41 heart that this had to go but I seriously was afraid.
28:44 What if I was unsuccessful, what if it didn't work.
28:47 What if I didn't like who I was without this?
28:49 That's right absolutely scary, and I was scary.
28:52 Part of what I said I did not know how to socialize,
28:55 but give me a couple lines of Coke and
28:57 I could talk your head off.
28:59 Give me a beer or whatever, so what if I do not know who
29:02 I am outside of this?
29:04 That was my problem, I was so afraid because I have been
29:07 telling people I want to be real and I didn't want to play
29:10 church even though I've went to church I knew I was lost soul
29:14 I knew it was going to make heaven and I wasn't being a
29:16 hypocrite, I just felt if I, for me if I completely left
29:19 and never went to church maybe I would never come back.
29:23 So what made you finally give it up?
29:25 When did you finally say okay I'm done?
29:28 It was one Sabbath afternoon and they had a Bible series
29:34 going on and I was laying on the couch Sabbath afternoon
29:37 and the Spirit just spoke to me and said to me Dwight you
29:40 need to go to these meetings, but I had been to these
29:43 meetings a hundred times before, I'm not going to go.
29:45 I could not sleep.
29:46 I went and had a friend and his wife,
29:50 he was a manager for me.
29:52 I went to his house and it's still small voice was
29:54 saying you have got to go and ask this person.
29:57 I said they are not going to go, but I went and asked and
30:00 the guy, when I went in he offered me a beer and I took it.
30:03 Can you imagine I'm open up this beer and inviting.
30:07 I love that.
30:09 In fact it was Kenneth Cox, that was the evangelistic
30:12 series that I went to was a Kenneth Cox crusade.
30:14 So I'm opening this beer and asking this guy to go to a
30:16 crusade with me, but to make a long story short
30:19 he went to and that was last beer I ever drank.
30:22 I had nightmares for five years off and on.
30:24 The dreams were so real, that I was drinking and
30:27 taking drugs and going to parties, and they were real.
30:30 In my dreams I would say, this isn't a dream this is real.
30:33 Then I would wake up and thank the Lord.
30:34 Then to add on to the story a little bit like my whole heart
30:40 to the Lord, but I still do not understand.
30:43 I still did not fully turn it over and we ended up
30:47 moving way out in the boondocks in Montana where there
30:51 was grizzly bear, Moose, and elk.
30:52 I said if I cannot face God and know who He is and learn
30:57 listen to him like Enoch did.
30:59 Before we go there, before we go there are want to open
31:02 it up for questions because we are running out of time and
31:04 I want to make sure because I know there are people here at
31:06 the Café that want to ask you some things about
31:09 what you have said already.
31:10 Hold on about when you move to Montana because
31:13 that is a huge thing.
31:14 Okay I want to start with Geri, you had a question.
31:18 I can so relate to what you said earlier Cheri about
31:21 reading the books and doing it on your own, buying the
31:24 books getting the books, somebody's going to give you
31:26 the books so you can do this on your own, fake it till
31:29 you make it as we say in NANA and I tried to do that.
31:33 Like Dwight you said, you got the books on the health
31:36 food thing and you are going to do it and get to
31:38 where you want to be.
31:40 I just wanted to be normal,
31:41 it's like God can I please just be normal?
31:43 That is all I want is to be normal.
31:44 I wanted to be somebody and feel like I had a purpose and
31:47 I have done all those things and gone through all the steps
31:50 but I am still not sure that I have made it.
31:52 How do you know when you've gotten past that point you are
31:54 trying to do it on your own, how do you get to the point of
31:57 actually letting God and quit trying to fix yourself?
32:01 I do not know if I'm there yet?
32:02 Wow! What do you think?
32:06 I think it is a good question and I'm not sure you are
32:10 ever going to fully feel that you have got it made.
32:14 It's just done.
32:16 I think what you said when you were speaking before hand,
32:21 that you start a relaxing a little bit, because I do
32:24 believe the Bible says My sheep hear My voice and
32:27 I think the thing most of us, I have
32:31 a text Isaiah 30:15, it says in
32:33 quietness will be our strength.
32:35 When we are trying to
32:36 put things in a box,
32:37 us humans want give me a list of 10 things and
32:40 I will do them.
32:41 We have to get all that box and let God lead.
32:44 When you move to Montana one of the reasons you moved out
32:47 there was to get into a quiet place to break all that stuff.
32:51 Absolutely because I was losing my temper,
32:52 being a head elder and doing all these things.
32:54 I could give a Bible study and come home
32:56 and yell at my wife.
32:57 I knew that something was wrong because I was praying and
33:00 Lord said you are not taking time enough to be still
33:03 and know who I really am.
33:05 You are trying to do all these things to become a good
33:08 Christian and you are not leading Me lead,
33:10 and that is why we moved out there.
33:11 I think that is amazing and, Geri I have to say to you,
33:15 it was really strange one day I woke up and opened my eyes
33:19 and all of a sudden I thought I feel so incredible today.
33:23 Then I was thinking, is it my birthday?
33:25 And I was trying to figure out did
33:28 I just not remember what's happening today?
33:31 All of a sudden I heard the Holy Spirit say no Cheri,
33:34 this is what health feels like, and I thought
33:37 are you are kidding me.
33:38 So you are saying you want that feeling,
33:40 just that feeling of health?
33:42 What I realized is that as I rely on God,
33:46 as I totally realize that it is really His battle,
33:49 I'm not going to find the right book,
33:51 I'm not going to find the right steps,
33:53 I am not going to find any of that until I find God.
33:56 When I find God just say to Him, let me be quiet
34:00 in Your presence, let me ask for your Holy Spirit
34:02 every day, let me start leaning on You.
34:05 It's strange because every time I pick it up again,
34:08 every time I strive again, every time I frantically
34:11 searched to be normal, to be real and all those kinds of
34:15 things, I am often running on my own again
34:17 I will fall down in exhaustion and God says please
34:20 don't do it on your own.
34:22 Do not lean on your own understanding
34:24 like we covered in Proverbs.
34:25 Really learn to rely on Me.
34:27 When you were in Montana that was for both you and
34:30 Deb and your children were learning to totally
34:33 listen to God, slow down, cut the whole pace out,
34:37 look at your family am I doing the right thing at home even.
34:40 So many miss this point.
34:44 We want to do all these great things, we want to have
34:47 these steps, and I am not saying there aren't steps, but I am
34:51 saying that we can't put that in front of God.
34:54 With God all things are possible and He will teach you,
34:57 He said listen I will teach you, I will give you word behind your
35:01 ear, besides you, walk in My ways and you cannot do that
35:04 if you are so rushed, even with good things.
35:07 Like big church things, you have to have time with God.
35:10 My life changed drastically, it is another story.
35:14 God will do it.
35:15 We have a couple minutes, that is not a lot of time.
35:18 Deb do you want to say anything
35:20 more about your guys journey?
35:21 Because you guys have come from a long way.
35:23 Long way, I don't know what else you want to cover.
35:28 One thing you asked me before we were on, is being afraid.
35:31 We've got a couple minutes.
35:33 Real quick, I had a tendency of just being really afraid.
35:37 Before we move to Montana, once we move to Montana now we
35:41 have bears to contend with, I mean that is real, that's real.
35:45 Not only does the bear have an alcoholic husband,
35:48 but now you have physical fears?
35:52 And with little kids, she is worried about the children.
35:54 The kids would just come inside and sit down and
35:58 I would say what are you doing?
35:59 Oh the bear is back, because we have bears in our yard
36:01 all the time, any which does nothing to them.
36:04 I realized we were teaching them they have angels
36:07 and you are okay.
36:08 My son he was nose to nose with a bear and he comes in,
36:12 it says mom the Bears here, it was right here,
36:15 it was right here.
36:17 I was like Seth, what are you talking about?
36:19 The bear was right here and I finally realize Seth,
36:23 did you shut the door?
36:24 Because if you did not shut the door that means
36:26 the Bears coming in.
36:28 You know what he was not afraid, he was like yes
36:30 I shut the door, we don't want the bear in the house.
36:33 I think from that point that really helped me,
36:37 as a mom to say you know I don't have to be afraid either.
36:40 I have angels too.
36:42 So you were learning how to step into a real relationship
36:46 with God, you also were learning how to give up fears and trust
36:50 the God that you were raised with that you were learning
36:53 at the same time you that you were helping him
36:55 in his recovery.
36:56 I'm just glad that you shared all that.
36:58 We could do it least another couple programs on
37:01 just your own recovery process.
37:04 I want to say thanks Dwight and Deb for coming on
37:07 the program and thanks for sharing that.
37:09 You know that you can never drink, unfortunately?
37:14 That is right! Never!
37:16 That is right absolutely!
37:17 For anybody watching there is a point where we come
37:19 and finally let go and let God.
37:21 Sometimes He may just say things that you have used
37:24 your whole life you will have to give up.
37:27 We will pout and it takes us years to get it
37:30 but when we finally get it and life turns around.
37:32 I'm going to be right back were going to talk some more
37:35 so stay with us!


Revised 2014-12-17