Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Barry Steed, Mike Stone
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00060A
00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery
00:13 My name is Cheri!
00:14 What I love is the moment somebody turns it over,
00:17 the moment somebody steps into recovery,
00:19 Join us as we look at some of that stuff.
00:48 Welcome back!
00:49 We are going to do the program a little bit different this time
00:52 because I want to introduce you to a couple people.
00:54 So we are going to start immediately with testimonies.
00:57 This one cracks me up.
01:00 I usually ask someone, when I first meet them, are you drugs,
01:04 alcohol, recovery, what is your drug of choice?
01:08 I have never, Mike, not one time, had someone look at me
01:12 and say, oh acid.
01:14 When you said that, I was just thinking, so how is your brain?
01:19 Not very good.
01:20 So on that note I want to say thanks for joining us.
01:25 We will have a vote at the end of the program to see how
01:28 good it was.
01:29 So when I think about that, I say for one, people who
01:34 don't know what acid it, let them know what is Acid?
01:38 What are you talking about?
01:39 It is like a speed, you trip.
01:42 Like hallucinating, that kind of thing?
01:44 Yeah! So it makes me think you were
01:47 like a 70's kid?
01:48 Yeah, the late 70's early 80's.
01:52 Tell us a little bit about how your family was, where did you
01:57 grow up, those things and then how did you step into addiction?
02:01 Well I grew up in a small town, I wasn't grown up in church.
02:07 It started out alcohol, weekends get a bunch of buddies together
02:14 and we would go camp and alcohol and...
02:17 When I moved to a small town I moved from LA to Idaho.
02:20 Which was a culture shock to me, but I get to Idaho and I'm
02:24 thinking, Oh look at these little kids, how cute are they?
02:27 They could be 8 or 9 years old and were drinking like
02:29 a fish already.
02:31 Yes, we started real young, I was probably 10 or 11
02:35 when we started.
02:36 Took in alcohol, it was alright, I didn't like the taste of
02:43 a lot of it so we decided to try drugs and started out with
02:48 marijuana and that was good for awhile.
02:51 Then it is like your immune system gets use to it
02:55 and then it took so much to get you back to the high that
02:59 you was at so we decided to do other things.
03:04 So when somebody says it must of been that your home life was
03:08 horrible or whatever, was it, home life was not?
03:10 No my home life was great.
03:12 Good parents? Good parents yes!
03:15 They would do anything for me.
03:16 You were just bored in a small town?
03:17 That and being popular with the others.
03:23 I wanted to be in the crowd.
03:25 I had never ran around with kids my age.
03:31 I ran around with older kids.
03:32 Had to do the things they did or I thought I did.
03:39 So pretty so you are drinking smoking weed, trying other
03:42 things to get the same high.
03:43 A lot of people don't know like what you just said,
03:47 sometimes your system just gets use to a certain level of
03:50 high and pretty soon you have to change to something else.
03:53 It's the addiction part of it.
03:56 The marijuana was probably great for a year.
04:01 But then I would have to smoke no telling how much to get back
04:09 to the level, so I thought I would take speed or something.
04:12 Then it was speed and Marijuana, drinking and do all of it.
04:17 You get back up to your level.
04:19 For how long? Because pretty soon that doesn't work anymore?
04:23 No, probably a year or two.
04:26 Then that is when I got on acid.
04:29 It was the ultimate high.
04:33 With hallucinogenics were you doing like speed, smoking weed,
04:38 drinking and that stuff, you could be out for 12, 15 hrs?
04:41 No, probably not that long, the acid, yeah!
04:44 You see I am talking about my own highs.
04:46 Because I am like, you can do it.
04:48 Nah! the marijuana and speed nah, they were just hours.
04:54 I guess we took enough of it our bodies were used to it.
05:00 But the acid, yeah, you would be gone, 15 or 20 hours.
05:05 Just for people who have not been in that lifestyle,
05:08 I know that drugs and alcohol are not the only thing that
05:14 happened to us in lifestyles like that.
05:16 So did you deal with anything else that tweaked you as far
05:19 as relationships and that stuff?
05:21 You start lying to your folks, that is a given.
05:25 Yeah, that and I lost my dad at an early age.
05:28 How early?
05:32 Well not early, probably 17 or 18.
05:37 What happened?
05:39 Had a heart attack.
05:41 It was probably the worst thing that threw me over the edge.
05:46 Where I started, that it was all I wanted to do.
05:51 The drugs and alcohol.
05:54 Anything that you did not have to look at that?
05:56 Yeah, just to get away.
05:59 How was your mom handling the death of your dad?
06:03 She was really strong, she really was and she handled us.
06:09 She took care of us, I was one of six kids.
06:14 I was the smallest, youngest but she did an excellent job.
06:22 Did your mom, when did she come to the point where she said
06:25 Mike I think something is wrong?
06:28 Your drinking too much, or you you're gone too much, or your
06:32 I mean did she to get to that point?
06:33 She never did.
06:34 Did you play it off then?
06:36 I played off pretty well and when I would do that
06:40 I probably would not come home for a day or two.
06:42 I would be gone, but she I think she knew but then again
06:51 with everything else that was going on, I don't know.
06:54 She never did.
06:59 She never said, what's up? Are you okay?
07:02 She let me go down my own path and like I say we wasn't
07:12 raised in church so I didn't know, finally my junior year
07:22 I met my wife now, but we was dating and
07:27 she was a church girl.
07:30 Saying let me date that guy, over there on acid, drinking
07:34 smoking weed, I think I like that guy.
07:36 It took me longer than just that.
07:37 I chased her quite a while.
07:41 You know it is really funny is you see the nicest girls
07:44 all of sudden say, you know I like that guy.
07:46 I'm like, what made you think that?
07:48 Yeah, but she quick going to church for awhile.
07:54 My addiction was all I wanted to do.
07:59 I mean that I held a job.
08:00 So she quit going to church when she was dating you?
08:03 Did she start using with you?
08:05 Yes, she did but she would still
08:10 Let me just say one thing because I think this is
08:12 incredible Mike, for people to understand.
08:17 Did you feel like you were actually freeing her up?
08:21 No, know I do not think I was freeing her up.
08:25 What did you think, because you do not think you are
08:27 doing something bad or evil?
08:29 Is like for an addict...
08:31 Again I had no church background, nothing.
08:35 I did not know her situation and when we started dating and she
08:45 started using, I thought it was pretty neat.
08:49 Right, I guess the reason I want to say that is because I come
08:53 from a background of addiction.
08:54 I think sometimes when somebody sees their kids going around
08:59 people that are using, they think it is more sinister of how
09:03 somebody get you to use.
09:04 If you do not have a church background, you don't even know.
09:07 It is like there is nothing in you that says this
09:09 is a wrong thing.
09:10 I'm just, like lighten up and have a drink.
09:13 It is not a sinister thing, I am not trying to hurt anyone.
09:16 It is we don't know.
09:18 I guess the reason I want to say that out loud is that I want
09:22 to educate folks, unless you are going to give them your liver
09:28 when they trash and theirs, don't give them a drink.
09:30 Do you know what I mean?
09:32 I mean, later on I found out her parents had talked her
09:37 and told her about me.
09:38 I'm sure they did.
09:41 You don't need him at all this.
09:42 Because they were afraid.
09:47 She, we ended up, we had a kid.
09:51 Were you married yet?
09:53 No! but after we found out she was pregnant we did get married.
09:59 My drug addiction kept going that is when she said,
10:05 it's time to get back in the church, our life has
10:09 got to change or it is never going to work.
10:12 Drugs had me and I was tore up.
10:17 By that time you were addicted?
10:19 Yeah, I couldn't quit.
10:21 I tell her yeah I'll quit and I could not quit.
10:26 Every Sunday she would drag me to church.
10:29 I would sit back, this is easy.
10:34 I go and I do not feel any conviction or nothing.
10:37 You could nod out. Yeah!
10:41 I guess the turning point was when we went to church one
10:46 Sunday she turned around and said she wanted to go
10:50 to a Teen Challenge meeting at a church in Harrisburg.
10:54 They was going to have a dinner then Teen Challenge was going
11:00 to get up.
11:01 I don't know if anybody knows about Teen Challenge?
11:03 You should talk about that, because Teen Challenge doesn't
11:05 necessarily work with teens anymore.
11:06 Yeah, you're right.
11:08 They work with adults, they work with guys that say
11:10 I don't even think I have a problem.
11:12 Incredible organization.
11:15 They was put on their thing Sunday afternoon.
11:19 She wanted to go, she was always involved in Teen Challenge and
11:23 sent money and did stuff with the Team Challenge.
11:27 At the time I had no clue what Teen Challenge was.
11:32 You got it was just another church gig?
11:33 Yep, so I told her that was fine and I would go.
11:36 We will go eat and I will sit on the back pew and
11:40 you can have your time.
11:43 While we were sitting there in church service, and they was
11:48 up singing and giving their testimonies and everything.
11:51 I thought to myself, I thought if there is a God and
11:58 He saved all these people from drugs and all that,
12:01 because I was hardheaded and said let one of those
12:06 guys on the stage come down here and talk to me.
12:11 Because I did not have no clue of anybody in the church.
12:15 That way I knew God did it.
12:20 I have to know there is a God.
12:23 So I know more about the thought out of my mind and the
12:29 two guys on the stage started talking.
12:31 I thought that is strange, they are in the middle
12:33 of singing and these two guys start talking.
12:36 It wasn't five minutes and the one guy put his
12:40 microphone down and walked off the platform and
12:43 started walking down the aisle.
12:45 I thought I don't know where he is going but, I know
12:49 he ain't coming down to sit by me.
12:51 He walked right back and sat down right beside me.
12:55 No way, how cool is that?
12:57 He told me, I know you are having a drug problem and
13:02 you are having trouble with your family and all that.
13:08 At that moment, God took it all away.
13:12 Because you knew, and what's really crazy to me is when
13:16 God does that, it is like the Holy Spirit is talking in
13:18 one ear and this guy is talking in one ear.
13:21 You are just saying, alright!
13:22 I surrender! I surrender.
13:24 I give it to You.
13:26 From that point on I didn't drink or do drugs or anything.
13:34 Did you know at that moment that you are loved,
13:36 that you were safe? Yes!
13:37 Yes He did, He wrapped He has arms and yeah!
13:41 It was awesome!
13:43 That is awesome, because you know there is so much rebellion
13:47 trapped in addictions, most people don't even think that.
13:50 I am locked in.
13:52 I look at my family and know that I love them and am helpless
13:55 to do anything about them.
13:56 I know that I am destroying everything.
13:58 God just says trust Me.
14:00 Yeah, it is just unreal.
14:02 I had tried to quit on my own, and there is no way that
14:07 I would ever quit without God doing it.
14:11 I know it, and now everybody.
14:14 I was in a small town and everybody knew my reputation.
14:19 I'm sure if I saw you behind me I would want to pull over.
14:22 Just to save my insurance.
14:25 they mean now people in my community, it's took 20 years,
14:32 Let me just ask you before we get to 20 years.
14:35 I want to know when your wife knew that this happened?
14:40 that she could trust that this just happened,
14:43 that you surrendered to God.
14:45 The thing is we are going to be different.
14:46 I think that she really trusted the day I turn my heart
14:51 over to Jesus.
14:52 I couldn't wait to get to our church that she took me to.
14:57 Like I said I always set on the back pew and didn't do anything.
15:05 I was wanting to tell people.
15:09 That wasn't me, I didn't go around talking about church.
15:15 Were you still sitting in back?
15:16 Nah, I moved about half way.
15:22 That's alright, I don't want to get too close.
15:24 It might get dangerous up front.
15:26 It's been really good.
15:32 I love the fact that the joy that is even in your voice.
15:36 Did you go through withdrawals, did you do any that stuff?
15:40 None! God just said let me lift
15:42 this from you.
15:43 Yeah, He took it all.
15:44 Man, depression anything?
15:46 Nothing! That is so cool!
15:48 That doesn't happen for every body, but it happens at times.
15:51 Which is amazing.
15:53 Yeah, like I say I am one that He had to do that or I wouldn't
15:57 never have believed it was Him.
15:59 You wouldn't have made it.
16:00 So what was your, now you are going from really... because you
16:07 have been sitting in church with your wife, so you know some
16:10 What was your journey to actually see the face of God,
16:11 and see who you are?
16:13 What did that look like?
16:14 It was really neat to see where I came from and where
16:20 I was headed.
16:22 Even now where I am going, because I am still growing.
16:26 He never lets up.
16:27 No, I am still growing.
16:29 I've done a lot, but there is a lot more to do.
16:33 So how many years since that day at Teen Challenge?
16:37 20 years. No drinking, no drugging.
16:42 How cool is that!
16:44 It's awesome.
16:45 So you ended up going into church.
16:47 Did people come alongside you?
16:50 No, like I said it took a while, everybody was I give him a month
16:57 and he will be back, there is no way.
17:01 There is no way, I've seen guys do this before.
17:06 They will start to church and all that.
17:09 I couldn't explain to them that I knew God done it.
17:15 You just cannot explain that feeling to anybody.
17:21 Especially somebody that don't go to church.
17:23 Even for somebody that is listening to this program
17:27 that are drunk, stoned, they have just done some acid
17:31 and they are looking at you like there is no way.
17:33 It is hard to explain to somebody until you take that
17:36 step of faith, until you literally say, God alright.
17:40 Then you feel His presence and that changes everything.
17:44 Yeah, you can definitely feel His presence, that's for sure.
17:47 So people were leery, not sure.
17:51 Your wife was sure?
17:54 I believe she was pretty sure.
17:56 After that we got along, she trusted me again.
18:02 She worked, and while she was working I was partying.
18:08 Spending money that we didn't have and all that stuff. Exactly
18:11 She worked at a store and got home late so I would party until
18:18 I knew I could get home before she did.
18:24 I say, after that she knew where I was at.
18:26 We kept communication.
18:30 That's incredible for her too.
18:31 So your home started to become a home.
18:33 Yes! Your relationship, because you
18:35 always loved her?
18:36 Yeah! Right!
18:41 We are talking about this whole season we are talking
18:43 about when do you know that God is going to so do it for you
18:48 that He is going to teach you how to stand up and walk.
18:51 To be different, because you can't, everything you know is
18:56 messed up. Yep!
18:57 So how did you let God start changing your behavior?
19:00 Your thinking, even your desires?
19:02 You can tell because your language stops, it goes away.
19:11 Your bad language? Yes!
19:12 Not totally! I am like wait a minute.
19:19 The days that you laugh are different? Yeah!
19:22 When I turned my life over to God, I told Him as hard as I
19:28 done the drugs and stuff, I was going to live for Him.
19:31 Have the same amount of fun and show people that you can
19:36 have fun without the drugs and alcohol.
19:39 You know what is really funny is when you say that,
19:42 Somebody may get a sense of that just on the set.
19:46 Since the time you walked into this studio, you and your
19:49 friends have been laughing your head off, even at one point
19:51 afraid you were going to be the first people kicked off the set
19:55 because you could not pull it together.
19:57 So when you are saying I have that joy, I am not having to
20:01 search of it in a bottle any more, or in a pill, that I
20:05 can feel good in my own skin.
20:08 That's right, I feel good the next morning when I wake up.
20:11 That's true!
20:13 I'm not hung over? That's right.
20:15 Then trying to make excuses to people I love and all that.
20:18 How about getting into the word of God?
20:21 How was that for you because for some people that is a little
20:24 difficult. It's rough because I don't like
20:27 to read and I wasn't the education person in school.
20:34 It's rough. When I first came to God
20:38 I was illiterate, I couldn't read.
20:40 So somebody would say, we are going to study Revelation.
20:43 I always joke about this because I would turn like this and
20:45 say Okay go ahead.
20:47 They would say Revelations.
20:48 I didn't know it was in the back of the book, I can't read.
20:51 So I literally had not learned to read yet and it was really
20:56 tough when somebody gets into the word of God and they
20:58 start throwing terms around and that kind of thing.
21:01 How did God share with you what His promises are?
21:04 What the book says?
21:05 A lot of it is through people, your friends, you can read them
21:10 just like a book.
21:12 I was taught that you can't put them on a pedestal,
21:18 because they are human too.
21:21 The reading, I can read something and 10 minutes
21:26 I forget it.
21:27 But when I have been told, the CD's and the stuff on CD's
21:36 So if you hear it you can retain it that way? Yeah!
21:39 Me too! So just watching people's lives, people around
21:44 you, the sermons, the CD's that you have gotten.
21:47 So you heard the word of God that way? Yeah!
21:49 A part of me thinks then did you ever reach out to addicts?
21:57 To help someone else?
21:58 I have talked to a lot of other addicts and still do.
22:05 A lot of them will give it a chance, but I don't think they
22:10 truly do because like I tell them if God ever truly comes
22:15 into your life you don't have this problem of wanting to
22:20 go back and doing it again.
22:21 They just don't do that if you are truly saved by God.
22:27 what is interesting to me is that some people get that new
22:31 nature that doesn't even like the taste of alcohol,
22:34 doesn't like to sin, doesn't have that same lean,
22:38 but for some of us that flesh is still so active.
22:42 there's a part in my own recovery that I had to say
22:46 over and over and over, I am dead to that.
22:49 I am not a heroine addict, I am a woman of God, loved by God.
22:54 For me that struggle lasted for awhile.
22:56 You know I was homeless for 10 years with a tendency to lie
23:02 and manipulate, because I was good at it, so that part of me
23:07 came up immediately and over the years God taught me to surrender
23:13 that me every time.
23:14 I think for some of us that is the way we have to do it.
23:17 With you God said, no way, I'm not going to do it
23:20 that way with you.
23:21 He had to do it that way or I wouldn't have made it.
23:27 So we are going to also hear your pastor and his testimony.
23:32 A little bit of his testimony is about you.
23:35 Then his testimony about himself.
23:37 So we are going to go and take a break and come back but I want
23:40 to say for one thank you for being on the program.
23:43 Thank you for sharing the reality that God
23:49 can just totally take it.
23:51 He sure can.
23:52 I love looking at your eyes when you are talking about God.
23:57 You are so grateful to Him and what He has done in your life.
24:02 I owe Him everything, it's all His.
24:06 I don't have nothing. Isn't that cool!
24:09 In that very statement you have everything.
24:12 I love that, we will be right back.
24:14 Stay with us! I want you to meet Mike's pastor
24:19 Because he has his own testimony like all of us do.
24:21 It is a matter of when am I going to take everything and
24:25 just say God you know what, I'm going to give it to You.
24:28 We'll be right back, stay with us!