Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), C A Murray
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00057A
00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery.
00:13 Today we are going to give you a little bit of an idea
00:14 what the next season holds.
00:16 You are going to see clips on every program.
00:18 You are going to be blessed so stay with us.
00:48 Welcome to season number five of what is one of
00:52 the most relevant and important programs we believe
00:54 in all of television.
00:55 You talk about reality TV.
00:57 This is our foray into reality television.
01:02 Season number five Celebrating Life In Recovery.
01:05 Cheri, it is good to have you here again.
01:06 Thank you and you know what, season five, I can not
01:08 believe we have been doing this, this long.
01:09 But one of the things that I kept coming up with as
01:12 we were doing recovery steps and what to do next.
01:15 How do I step into recovery?
01:16 Someone was talking to me and this guy was a Vietnam vet.
01:20 He had literally killed somebody at 17 and instead of
01:24 going to prison they sent him to Vietnam.
01:26 I don't even understand what that is all about.
01:28 That they sent him to Vietnam and he ends up going in
01:30 there and gets into a drug addiction, gets into rage
01:32 disorder, comes back out marries this nice Christian girl
01:36 that is very co-dependent.
01:37 But he goes into recovery and he has really worked with us.
01:41 In fact on season one he and his wife was on the show.
01:44 But now I see him and you know what, I feel like I have
01:48 done it, but I keep messing up.
01:51 So what is it that people forget to do in recovery?
01:56 I thought about that, what is that we need to know about
01:59 recovery that is really important?
02:00 I looked at a number of different things and came up
02:03 with in AA they call it, if anybody is going to stumble
02:09 around if anybody is not going to make it, it is
02:11 because they forget this step.
02:13 Even in AA they call up the forgotten steps,
02:17 and that is step 6 and 7.
02:19 I want to go over that because the whole season is going to be
02:23 on this, it is amazing.
02:24 And we need to make that point that this season is
02:27 really the forgotten steps, those steps that are crucial and
02:30 sometimes left out they can send you right back
02:32 down the hill that you have been trying
02:34 to climb all this time.
02:35 Exactly, and people if you are trying to do it, if you
02:39 are saying why is it so hard?
02:41 Why can't I do this?
02:43 Why can't I get over this one thing?
02:44 Why am I plateauing right here?
02:47 And it usually is that you forgot this.
02:48 There are a lot people that say you know what,
02:51 I am not into this step thing.
02:54 I don't blame you, I didn't like the step thing, I had
02:57 just jumped into church and was loved by the body of Christ.
02:59 I had gotten into the word of God, but the word of God
03:02 says it's a forgotten step.
03:03 Even in Galatians 3, I love this, Galatians 3:1, it says,
03:08 "oh foolish Galatians, who has bewitched that you
03:12 shouldn't even obey the truth?"
03:13 So somewhere in Galatians they started out well and did
03:17 really good and all of a sudden they are in trouble.
03:19 This is the one thing that people forget,
03:22 and the one thing they forget is in a step program
03:25 it is really clear.
03:27 Step number six in NARAA it says, "at this point we are
03:30 entirely ready to have God remove all our
03:33 defects of character. "
03:34 So we have looked at that and have done an inventory.
03:37 We know where we have messed up, you know we are in
03:40 porn addiction, drug addiction, we have eating disorders,
03:43 religious addictions, whatever, we have all that kind of stuff.
03:45 But now what do I do with that?
03:47 Yeah, yeah!
03:48 Who cares about all that, I have all this junk.
03:50 Well now you give it to God, but what most people do
03:53 at that time is they look at all that, they figure it
03:56 out, I know that I lie and manipulate, I know that I
03:59 am using, that I am cheating folks, so I'm going to
04:02 set up and do a program.
04:04 I'm going to start doing the right thing.
04:05 And they try to behaviorally change.
04:07 You can't do it, you have to give to God.
04:10 So to do it any other way, you are going to trip yourself up.
04:13 So this entire season is about how and what is that step.
04:18 What does it mean to give it to God?
04:20 To rely on Him?
04:21 That's exciting because when I was teaching recovery in
04:23 New York City, what I told people was that you have
04:26 to step outside yourself because some days,
04:28 Cheri you know this, you're stronger than yourself.
04:30 You can through the exercise of your will,
04:33 put that cigarette down.
04:34 Then there are other days when you are weaker than
04:36 yourself, and that is when you defeat yourself because
04:38 that day you cannot by the force of will,
04:41 put that cigarette down.
04:42 Your lower nature, if I can use that term, jumps up and
04:44 that cigarette is in your mouth and you are puffing away.
04:46 Then you say why am I doing this?
04:47 Well because today you defeated yourself because you were
04:51 drawing from yourself for strength.
04:52 You got to step outside yourself that is such an important step.
04:55 I like the idea that we have dealt with pulling yourself
04:59 up by the bootstrap, we have dealt with all these kind of
05:01 things and we now we are getting to the core this year.
05:03 We need God.
05:04 Long-term success presupposes that we put it in God's hands.
05:08 It is really tough, because we want to do something.
05:11 Right, right!
05:13 If the glass is a my way let me move it out of the way.
05:14 Right, I can do this, I can do this I have a brain.
05:17 And God says you know what.
05:19 In most 12 step groups, most recovery groups will say the
05:22 best of what you can do got you right here.
05:26 Right, right, right! That's your best so if you want to
05:29 get further you have to go someplace else.
05:31 So now how do I do that?
05:33 What does that look like exactly?
05:35 It's God trustworthy?
05:37 I looked, and you know we have a book every season,
05:39 I looked and I looked and said, oh man we need to know
05:42 about God, know if He is trustworthy,
05:45 what book do we get?
05:46 And I thought oh this book is good, oh no wait now this
05:50 book is good, no this book is good, and do you know what
05:53 I finally came up with?
05:54 This book is good, do you know what I mean?
05:59 So this season we are actually going to suggest that you
06:03 get a Bible, and if you don't have one you can call us.
06:07 You can call the 800 number and we will have one up there.
06:10 Get a Bible, but one book that really helped me coming to
06:15 Christ and figuring out who God was, is a book called
06:17 The Desire of Ages.
06:18 It is a book about Christ that unfolds who He is,
06:23 the fact that He loves us.
06:24 What is He offering us?
06:26 What does the Holy Spirit mean?
06:27 What does His righteousness mean?
06:29 What are the victories He has already given me?
06:31 We are going to offer these two books because I can't
06:34 think of any other place that you will get a good
06:36 picture of God.
06:37 On this step I have to have a picture of God because
06:41 I have to turn it over to Him.
06:42 Moving into righteousness by faith, and something
06:46 occurred to me many years ago.
06:47 The text I'm going to use, I will pull it out of context
06:50 a little bit, but it doesn't do violence to the text.
06:52 It's Romans 14:23, summing it up it says that which is
06:58 not a faith is sin.
07:00 That which is not a faith is sin.
07:02 So even if you get the victory on something, say,
07:04 let's just say drinking alcohol.
07:06 That is a sin.
07:07 Say you stop drinking alcohol by the force of your
07:13 will, you still do not get any credit for that.
07:15 First off your righteousness as filthy rags and if it
07:18 is not something that you surrender to the Lord,
07:21 it is just stopping a biological activity.
07:24 It is not a faith based activity so is it not a salvific
07:27 activity, you just stopped drinking.
07:29 But you still haven't gotten, because you don't get
07:32 into heaven because you stopped drinking.
07:33 You did to heaven because you give your life to Christ.
07:36 If you give your life to Christ you will stop drinking.
07:38 So you do not get points for not drinking, you get
07:41 points for coming to Jesus.
07:42 And that people are like I don't know what that means, the guy
07:48 with the Vietnam vet, so he says I am not
07:52 raging at people anymore.
07:53 I don't even grab them by the throat when they
07:55 really make me angry.
07:57 He's not breaking any holes in the walls yet.
08:02 But all that anger, all that stuff,
08:04 everything that's started that rage is still right there.
08:08 So how do I get that out?
08:11 And somebody says well learn how to not be angry.
08:14 Sometimes we are so damaged, God says trust me on this,
08:18 you are so damaged that you are not going to learn
08:21 how not to be angry, you are going to let Me abide in you,
08:24 live in you, come in you, teach you.
08:25 Which is victory, it is not just being angry, you need to
08:29 get the victory over anger.
08:30 I am changed. Precisely I've changed.
08:33 First roll-in I'm going to show you and this is going to
08:35 be fun to just introduce you to these programs.
08:37 The first roll-in, you are going to see three.
08:40 One is a Deliah Brown, she was in a horrible accident,
08:46 just coming back from that, how do I come back from that
08:49 and totally understand who God is?
08:51 Then Jerry Morrison really started to deal with the
08:54 power of prayer, and that man stepped into a Ministry
08:57 which is amazing.
08:58 Melissa and Joe Bates which was really funny to me was
09:01 when she finally surrenders to God and gives it all to God,
09:04 God tells her to wash her dishes.
09:06 That cracked me up.
09:07 So you never know where God is going to start.
09:10 We think He's going to start with our heroine addiction,
09:12 or a rage, or whatever, and He is like no,
09:14 no just go clean your sink.
09:16 So watch this and enjoy this, you will have fun.
09:18 Deliah, mommies here, and she love you whole time,
09:25 and you are not going away leave me.
09:28 And the church's stand up and say, and she say, she
09:32 not hear, and I say yes, yes she is hearing.
09:35 Deliah, I love you, I love you.
09:37 When you walked in what did you see?
09:39 Because it was a serious accident.
09:41 She was covered in blood all over.
09:44 One side there was a Bobcat that fell on her car,
09:51 her car got out of control and go over the other side.
09:53 There was a truck there with a Bobcat that fell on her car.
09:56 They had to cut her out.
09:58 Even when I was at my worst, I was dancing on tables
10:01 for fun, not because I needed the money, in a strip
10:05 club because it was part of our entertainment.
10:08 Doing drugs, and even one I was at my worst I had told
10:12 my mother what I was doing.
10:14 She still prayed for me, she still loved me.
10:16 People told my mother that was my daughter
10:18 I would disown her.
10:19 If that was your daughter I would to, but that is
10:22 my daughter, that is my daughter and God said that is
10:25 my child, that is my child she is my child.
10:28 God had people pray for me when
10:30 I couldn't pray for myself.
10:32 There were some real issues come up, some root issues
10:35 come up, so as you are shining your sink did any of
10:40 those root issues come up to you?
10:42 Yeah because I hate doing my dishes, that is one of
10:45 the things I just hated doing.
10:48 You now, and laundry that was another big thing for me,
10:51 is I just hate those two things.
10:53 So I really have put myself, my wants aside and say
10:58 I'm going to do this.
11:00 I'm going to do it for, because I know it is good for me,
11:04 but also because I know it will be
11:06 a blessing to my family.
11:07 And one of the things my lady says is housework done
11:10 incorrectly still blesses your family.
11:12 And that is what I wanted.
11:14 You know those three programs were fun to do.
11:20 I love the fact that somebody can get hit like Deliah
11:26 and actually stand back up and get her life back together.
11:29 Whole family whole community.
11:31 Gerri going out blessing people, but my favorite program,
11:35 I hate to have favorites because I don't want to offend
11:37 anyone, but it is the fact that when God started to work
11:41 with me 20 something years into recovery when He actually
11:44 starting to get my attention, He told me simple stuff.
11:47 Go wash the dishes, go clean your sink, put some laundry
11:50 in, do this and every day things.
11:53 I used to think of those things as punishment, and He
11:55 said no those everyday things keep you grounded.
11:58 That is life affirming stuff.
11:59 And it returns you to a sense of normalcy, because you're
12:03 normal routine has been craziness.
12:06 So now you are getting too real normalcy.
12:08 You know what? It is really weird, if you go to my house
12:11 most the time, my sink is so shiny and I love it.
12:14 It never was that way, I always had dishes stacked up,
12:17 you know all that kind of stuff and now I really pay
12:20 attention and God was really clear with me.
12:22 Let's just do simple stuff in recovery.
12:24 So on this particular season I want to tell people,
12:28 you know what, keep it simple stupid, no.
12:32 That's like a 12 step thing, keep it simple stupid,
12:36 but it is actually just keep it simple because God,
12:39 not that He is simple, but He is just saying let's
12:42 do a relational thing right now.
12:43 Which is to the everyday stuff and let Me teach you
12:47 to live outside of whatever the addiction is.
12:51 What ever the junk is, He's so amazing at that!
12:54 It is so fantastic, you do not have to go out and
12:57 write a book or get on a lecture tour,
12:59 for now just establish a routine,
13:02 some normalcy in your life.
13:03 Just settle down and deal with becoming you and becoming whole.
13:07 And that is a great step.
13:09 And let God teach you who you are in Christ.
13:11 Sure, sure!
13:12 There is a study, because that sounds so simple,
13:15 but there is a study that says, and we did this
13:18 on the first season talking about the Vesicular-retroflex
13:22 nerve, and it goes from the base of your brain to the
13:25 frontal lobe and it is just one, you have millions
13:27 of other nerves in your head but this is just one.
13:29 This nerve gets damaged with addiction.
13:32 It's like a go kart track, it is this one track that
13:35 takes the information from the animal instincts to the
13:37 part of your brain, to the frontal lobe which
13:39 is the higher reasoning.
13:40 When at track gets damaged you do not get that exchange.
13:44 You do a lot of things out of no self control,
13:47 out of your addiction and all that.
13:49 They found out that that nerve gets repaired in about
13:54 15 months of just simple discipline behavior.
13:58 I'm like, God how funny are You?
14:00 How funny are you?
14:01 Get up clean the sink and do it every day.
14:04 Keep it simple.
14:05 So the next roll-in we are going to talk about,
14:07 which is fun, these programs were fun to do.
14:11 The next one I am going to introduce you to some
14:14 folks that people have seen on 3ABN a lot,
14:16 is Dwight and Debbie Hall they have Remnant Publishing.
14:20 But most people don't know where they came from.
14:23 Where they came from is some pretty intense places.
14:26 Alcoholic, and I never would've thought he was an
14:29 alcoholic, which is really funny.
14:31 His wife said finally, they were very poor starting out.
14:34 And she say can I just have your beer cans and I will
14:37 trade them in and buy stuff with them?
14:39 He still in Ministry, so he's like thinking I don't have
14:42 enough beer cans for you to trade them in.
14:44 She is buying new outfits, and he's like,
14:46 where did you get that outfit?
14:47 From your beer cans!
14:49 So I mean she literally, it is kind of fun to listen to
14:52 where people come from and the fact that God will work
14:55 with you wherever you are at.
14:56 And a lot of times I have to tell people, if you are
14:59 watching this program and are in Ministry and
15:01 still acting out, God is not tired of you.
15:03 He still works with us, which cracks me up, but turn it over
15:08 to Him, don't try to do it on your own, let Him in.
15:12 We are going to be talking to another group, a young
15:16 gang member for New Jersey.
15:17 Incredible story, and he is just such a cool kid.
15:21 Now he is going back and talking with gang members,
15:25 coming back in to the church and
15:26 doing stuff in the church.
15:27 Then a friend of mine, Craig DeMartino, who fell 9 stories,
15:32 9 stories off of a Cliff and landed on his feet.
15:36 So enjoy these.
15:39 I had gone back to public school, but some of my friends
15:42 got kicked out with me, they went to another academy.
15:45 So I begged my mother and father, please let me go.
15:47 I will be good this time and so they finally let me go at
15:50 the beginning of the semester and it wasn't but 9 weeks
15:52 and I was kicked out that academy also.
15:54 Same reasons?
15:55 Taking drugs that time, I was taking drugs and at
15:58 that point in time, I will never forget this and
16:01 I thank God for mothers that care for you
16:03 because I ran away.
16:05 I packed some stuff in my suit case.
16:08 There was this town student that he went to school in
16:11 the dorm and I opened the window up because they were
16:15 going to take me to the hospital just take a urine sample.
16:17 I didn't want to do that.
16:19 So I said listen, can you get me out of this place?
16:21 He said yeah man come on down, so I ran out the
16:24 fire escape and took off.
16:26 I thought I better let my mom know.
16:27 Back then they had the pay phones, it was a little town,
16:30 I got on the payphone and said mom, I'm not coming home.
16:33 She was just crying and she would not let me off that
16:35 phone, she said Dwight I love you, we all make mistakes.
16:37 I said that I had made too many, I have already got
16:39 kicked out twice, I have failed you,
16:41 and I am never coming home again.
16:43 Coming from where you came from, what does that mean?
16:44 What does love mean?
16:45 I can't describe it, I mean it with the exact opposite
16:50 of what I had believed all my life.
16:53 I have lived all my life it was the complete anti-
16:58 street life that I had been accustomed to,
17:03 but somebody would lay down, someone from a high position,
17:07 speaking down to earth from a high position,
17:12 will come down to my level, and die for someone who
17:16 completely doesn't care about them, and do that?
17:19 And it didn't make sense to me, I tossed it,
17:23 I said what is this garbage?
17:25 I can't believe this.
17:26 I see Jesus this is pathetic, why would He do this?
17:30 I look at Him as weak and impotent, and what is this?
17:34 But then it really clicked in my mind when I walked away,
17:37 I said is this love?
17:40 I never understood it, is this really what love is?
17:44 I've never seen this.
17:47 I fell 96 feet and landed standing.
17:50 I shattered, I mean just name it and I broke it.
17:54 I should be a paraplegic I should be dead.
17:57 I should be at a paraplegic, quadriplegic, multiple,
17:59 multiple things.
18:00 But I am not, I am walking, I fully intended on going
18:02 back to the life I had.
18:03 I'm going to climb again, I want to bike again,
18:05 I want to ski again, and I want to be my kids dad.
18:08 I want all those things and I just can't do with this
18:10 body right now, so this is going to help me.
18:12 If they healed me, and I put pants on nobody would
18:16 know anything was different about me.
18:18 If I was walking down the street they wouldn't know.
18:20 What you and God did during that whole rehab time was
18:23 absolutely huge.
18:24 What you are saying it is, I know that He had His hand
18:28 on all of this.
18:29 Right, but I do not know if I would have had the
18:31 courage to step out and go talk to someone and say,
18:33 let me tell you what happened to me,
18:35 Let tell you how God moved in my life.
18:37 I do not know if I would have had that courage.
18:39 You know all you can say Cheri is, Wow!
18:41 You fall 100 feet and you resurrect your life.
18:46 Powerful stuff, you know powerful stuff.
18:49 Dwight, of course I have known Dwight,
18:51 that I did not know.
18:53 And everybody that watched that segment said, we had no
18:56 idea, they were loving on him, and all of a sudden he
19:00 went from being this Ministry leader to this man of God
19:03 who had been saved.
19:05 Again it affirms that God can take anybody at any
19:10 time and in any stage of their life and resurrect them,
19:13 Cheri, can change them.
19:15 That's why over and over again this program is so necessary.
19:19 So life-affirming because there are no disposable people.
19:24 I love that.
19:25 Even when you give up on yourself,
19:27 God does not give up on you.
19:29 He can take what Dwight was to what Dwight now is.
19:32 That is fantastic and life affirming.
19:34 What is really interesting to me, Damien, the young
19:37 gang member, is that this is this young gangster that
19:42 his uncle used to take him in a back room and hit him
19:46 in the face as hard as he could.
19:48 He beat him so that he would be able to survive the
19:51 streets, it was an act of love, it wasn't an act of aggression.
19:55 For him it's like you know you are one skinny dude.
19:57 You are never going to make it.
19:58 So then when somebody like that you step up and start
20:03 to get a sense of recovery as, maybe he even who God is,
20:07 you have no idea who you are.
20:09 So this segment is like, the whole season is like to get
20:13 a sense of that, I do not know who I am, but God does.
20:17 Is He just trying to dress up the flesh?
20:20 Is He just trying to take Cheri and all the stuff I came
20:23 from and just dress it up, or is He literally going to
20:27 re-create in me a child of God, a woman of God.
20:30 Somebody that loves life and can laugh out loud.
20:33 My belief from going through the Bible and meeting God,
20:37 is that He is going to pour His Holy Spirit into me.
20:40 He's going to clothe me to the point that I can actually
20:43 be who He sees me to be.
20:45 I may never have been one day in my life that.
20:48 That is the bright light in this thing.
20:51 We are not talking about, I guess we could call that
20:54 cosmetology, we are not talking about makeup, make over.
20:57 This is not a spiritual Botox.
20:59 I love that.
21:01 This is re-creation from the inside out.
21:03 It is righteousness by faith.
21:05 A faith relationship in the Lord does result in a
21:08 righteous life, so it is from the inside out,
21:12 not from the outside in.
21:13 A used to think even a righteous life sounded really
21:15 lame to me, and I don't mean to say that because I
21:18 don't want to offend anyone.
21:19 Coming from where I came from,
21:20 I'm thinking, man do I even want that?
21:23 I didn't realize for God, I righteous life means
21:27 you get to laugh out loud and like being
21:29 in your own skin.
21:30 People around you, they feel cool being around you.
21:33 Because it is so amazing, it is not behaviorally you
21:35 are doing all the right things and crossing all your
21:38 t's and dotting your I's, or whatever, we think it's that
21:41 God said, no, no, no, if you go back to Isaiah 58.
21:44 Righteousness from God is like you are loving on people.
21:47 You are doing something, involved in the community,
21:49 and your family, and your life.
21:51 It even says in Isaiah 58 and love goes on further and it says
21:55 you will become like a watered garden.
21:57 It would be healthy to be around you.
21:58 So I'm thinking when I first came to Christ,
22:01 and I know you have heard me say this before,
22:03 I thought I want to be like the Church Lady
22:06 from Saturday Night Live.
22:07 With my hair in a bun and got the Bible and
22:10 beating people up with it.
22:11 I think our vision of what it means to be a Christian
22:15 and God's vision is two different things.
22:17 God's vision says I delight in your recovery.
22:19 I want you to feel good in your own skin.
22:22 It's not, Okay, today I will be righteous.
22:25 It is more today I am going to walk with Jesus.
22:29 Righteousness is the natural outgrowth of that walk.
22:32 If you are with Jesus, this stuff is coming, victory
22:36 is coming, and breaking the chains of addiction is coming.
22:38 But it starts with, today I am going to focus on Christ.
22:41 That other stuff just is part of that.
22:43 And asking God who am I?
22:45 Show me who I am today?
22:47 You know what the funny thing is to me?
22:48 It is when He starts to show me and tell me a joke
22:51 with that, and I'm thinking did You just tell me a joke?
22:53 Because that was way funny.
22:55 So I think that this season if I can do anything is to
22:59 get people hooked up to a personal relationship with God
23:03 as a friend, as a husband, as a father, what ever you
23:07 need Him to be in your recovery.
23:10 Trust Him with it, I don't know anything.
23:13 I am not going to trust myself with any of this anymore.
23:16 I'm going to ask You, who am I today?
23:18 And when He tells you to just go wash your sink,
23:20 go wash your sink!
23:22 Okay the next roll-in.
23:24 The next roll-in I think it's amazing too.
23:28 I met, I do some Indian reservations and I love
23:32 American Indians as far as to work with them.
23:35 They have a lot of addiction stuff.
23:37 There is a lot of history with that.
23:39 So there was a couple that I met at
23:41 Holbrook Indian School that talk about their recovery
23:44 and their whole families recovery.
23:46 So one of the programs is Duane and Dr. Janet Claymore,
23:50 amazing, amazing folks.
23:52 The Holbrook Indian school came in, there are some kids
23:55 that did all the testimonies.
23:56 You talk about God stepping in, not only does He step
24:02 in and have to deal with their recovery,
24:04 generationally that recovery.
24:06 I am so proud of Him for that.
24:08 The last one on that particular series cracks me up.
24:12 Oh no, those are the only two on this roll-in.
24:15 So be blessed, incredible ministry, incredible folks.
24:21 We both have priorities that said you half to do this
24:25 if I am going to marry you, you have to do this if
24:28 I'm going to marry you.
24:30 And one of the things that was his priority,
24:32 I had to go to treatment.
24:33 I had to stop my drug use and...
24:40 Wouldn't it be good if we love each other enough that
24:43 when we made friends or fell in love that we said,
24:47 you know I love you too much to watch you destroy
24:50 yourself in this way.
24:51 For you to say that, as I know I cannot have you in
24:56 my life with you relying on these drugs,
24:59 even if they are prescription,
25:01 you have to deal with it.
25:02 Right and so I quit, he had told me his story.
25:07 I thought wow, this is really cool.
25:12 Somebody, really, with this background can quit drinking?
25:16 By the time you get to school you are just full of
25:20 anger, waiting for anyone to say anything?
25:22 Yes, and I was pretty easy too because people there in
25:29 my school weren't the friendliest people.
25:33 What is cutting? What do you mean by that?
25:34 It's like some way to self injury.
25:41 That is pretty much it and every since I was 12 that's when
25:46 I didn't care what my parents think and actually
25:50 blamed everything on myself.
25:52 That if you are good enough they would've left?
25:57 You know working with the Holbrook Indians school,
26:00 what surprised me about that is that I did a week of
26:02 prayer over there.
26:03 So I am listening to all these kids testimonies and
26:06 some of that you will hear on the program.
26:08 But I am listening to the testimonies and their parents
26:11 are strung out, they are alcoholics, going through court
26:15 battles, and people are due in custody things.
26:17 Some the kids say you do not even know, my parents are
26:21 not even there totally and so that you have God coming in,
26:24 spiritually touching their lives and you can see a change.
26:28 These kids are fabulous.
26:30 So now it is a matter of now God being able to show them that
26:34 they are fabulous.
26:35 Generationally they have been fabulous and if it wasn't
26:37 for their addictions and all that stuff coming into their
26:39 lives, they would have been able to see
26:43 that about themselves.
26:44 Now God is going to have to re-create in them who they are.
26:47 And Cheri as you well know, this has been a community
26:50 that has been particularly hard hit, buy drugs, alcohol,
26:53 unemployment, prostitution, and all that surrounds that stuff.
26:56 They have been knocked out by that.
26:58 For us we are outsiders looking in, but these are people
27:01 who have come out of it and are giving back to it.
27:04 That is really powerful.
27:05 When you stepped in, when I stepped in,
27:07 what was real interesting was that some of the kids
27:09 that you heard from, maybe even in the clip,
27:11 is the fact that they can't even walk to school
27:14 without getting someone tempting them to use.
27:17 So they leave the Holbrook Indian school and they go
27:20 back to the reservation and they have to stay in their
27:23 house or they have to be so protective of themselves
27:26 because they do not want to use again.
27:27 So to make God really has a work.
27:30 But when He wakes them up and shows them who they are,
27:33 they can do things like you said, they will never be
27:36 able to do in that community.
27:38 I get more, more proud of God and what He is capable
27:44 of doing in our lives.
27:46 Because sometimes I look at ourselves when we do our
27:49 recovery, I tried 21 years to do my recovery the best I could.
27:53 I never even hit the regular issue, I hit all, I'm going to
27:57 try to stop lying, stop think in the way I do,
28:00 it is still really difficult.
28:03 I'm going to stop doing heroine.
28:05 I'm going to stop drinking.
28:06 I'm going to stop doing this and I had this
28:07 whole behavioral list.
28:08 Finally after 21 years into my recovery,
28:11 He said you know what Hon!
28:12 You have never let anyone love you.
28:15 You have never trusted anyone in your life.
28:17 He said can we look at that?
28:19 My Palm's started to sweat,
28:21 I'm what are you talking about?
28:23 I don't know.
28:24 I remember all the sudden for Him to,
28:27 it took Him a long time, months, to get me to
28:29 finally start looking at that.
28:30 I realized that that was the issue.
28:33 Because I had never learned to love or be loved.
28:35 He said let's start there.
28:36 When I finally realized that that was the issue,
28:39 He kind of made a joke and said, now you are at step one.
28:41 And I thought about what about these 21 years?
28:44 He said I never went any of those directions.
28:46 So this season we are looking at, can you trust God and
28:50 let Him take the you where He knows you need to start?
28:53 Start here, don't run off in all these different
28:57 directions, let's start here.
28:58 We are going to take a break and come back and show you
29:01 some more roll-ins and tell you what the season is about.
29:03 This is absolutely, and I don't want to say it's the
29:07 coolest season, but it is good.
29:08 We will be right back!