Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Michael Ehm
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00041A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life and Recovery, I'm Cheri your host
00:13 Have you ever struggled with receiving forgiveness, and 00:16 then God turns around and asks you to forgive those 00:19 who hurt you? 00:20 Oh man, that's what we're going to talk about today. 00:22 Come join us in the café. 00:51 Welcome back, you know, the whole forgiveness thing 00:54 always gets to me, because when I first met God I 00:57 sitting in a drug house trying to kill myself. 00:59 I have been on the street for 10 years, and everything 01:03 was horrible, I mean, it was horrible. 01:06 And then I feel forgiveness, I feel God loving me, so safe. 01:10 Unbelievable and I get up and literally walk into that. 01:14 And through the years of healing, I was so amazed at how 01:18 God just, nothing I brought to the table. 01:21 I would bring this horrendous stuff, twisted stuff, put 01:23 it on the table and He would just clear it off. 01:25 I know that about you, thanks for giving it to Me. 01:27 and it literally was that sense, 01:30 Thanks for giving it to Me because He knew that if it 01:33 festered in me, it would just kill me. 01:35 It was like with every single thing that came out, and I 01:37 just turned it over, it was good. 01:39 And then He started asking me to forgive people around me. 01:41 That was a little harder, and I thought I had done that. 01:44 In fact, I am in ministry now, and I get called by this 01:47 church that has a number of pedophiles, in the church's 01:50 three different churches. 01:51 One guy had molested 60 plus kids, and it was 01:54 triggering all the different victims, all the different women 01:57 there were children that had been molested, 01:59 so everybody is triggering. 02:00 Can you come and do a weekend with us and talk about how 02:03 to have an accountability program in the church, how to 02:06 keep us safe, and all those kind of things. 02:08 I'm thinking, okay and I'm prayed up, and I looked into 02:11 some stuff and we went in and did this outreach. 02:13 I realize that the victims really wanted me to point the 02:19 finger at the perpetrators and let them know 02:21 how wrong they were. 02:22 And the perpetrators were so desperate to receive 02:25 forgiveness and recovery. 02:27 I'm looking at both of these groups and realizing, you know 02:30 God, God wants to heal both groups. 02:33 And there is not that He is saying that the perpetrator 02:36 is no good and we are going to condemn him or her. 02:38 He saying, I want to help everybody. 02:40 If you can't get that in the congregation then nobody 02:43 gets healed and everybody sits there damaged. 02:45 So I got that and that and I literally 02:48 healed a little bit more about my 02:49 understanding of forgiveness with that. 02:51 So, I think I'm doing good, but then I'm doing the show, right? 02:54 And I just got to tell you I'm doing this show, I'm 02:56 getting ready to interview this guy Michael that I'm 02:59 going to introduce you to in a minute. 03:00 And he's like a strip club owner, and all of a sudden 03:03 everything in me comes up and said, you know what 03:07 I used to be in that. 03:08 13 years old, it was my first job, you know what 03:11 walking into a club and dancing and being locked in that 03:14 for years and years and years. 03:15 I literally feel like I'm tightening up, I wanted to 03:20 say, God I don't know if I can do this. 03:22 I don't know if I can look at this guy and say I'm glad 03:27 that God had forgave you. 03:28 There is a part of me that says I want to look at him 03:30 and say do you suffer any? 03:32 You know and as a Christian. I want to say, forgive me 03:37 for thinking that, but that is what I thought. 03:39 Michael, I want to say at this point, thank you for 03:41 being on the show. 03:43 Thank you for having me. 03:44 When I first met you think that my hands when around 03:46 your neck almost immediately. 03:47 I felt that, I felt it. 03:49 To understand what I am saying there is a part of me 03:52 that wanted to look at you and say who are you? 03:55 Do you realize the damage you have done? 03:58 I don't want you to start there because I know you do. 04:01 Do you know what I mean? 04:02 The more I got to sit with you that I felt your spirit 04:05 and that God has so loved you. 04:07 I know that you have, but I want you to kind of walk us 04:10 through your testimony. 04:11 Who are you, where did you come from? 04:14 My name is Michael Ehm and I was always known as Michael Ehm. 04:18 I'm known by my middle name, Michael Ross. 04:20 About 19 years old, at that time I was thinking 04:26 about being in the ministry. 04:27 I was brought up in a church family, but I wanted to go 04:33 into ministry, but wasn't feeling it. 04:34 So I left - I didn't know that about you when they 04:37 first told me your story that you literally were going 04:39 to going to ministry at one time. 04:40 I had considered going into ministry at 19 years old 04:43 but I wasn't feeling it. 04:45 I had gone to university in the Midwest - wasn't 04:52 feeling it in the fact it didn't feel real to you - it 04:54 was real to me it just think my spiritual bubble had 04:57 burst when I hit the campus. 04:58 I decided that I needed to get out, and so 05:03 I went into the world. 05:04 The world was saying, if it feels good do it - can I 05:06 just jump in and say, if you could be brave enough we 05:08 could do a whole other show on why did it bust. 05:10 When you went into campus when you are surrounded by a 05:12 bunch of Christians, why didn't it just lift you up. 05:15 Instead you said no, I walked in, and all of a sudden I 05:18 I don't even want to do it anymore. 05:19 Well, it you go by other people's spiritual gas, and you 05:21 don't have that feel for yourself. 05:22 I didn't have that, so I was running on other peoples 05:25 vapors, and when that exhausted, I was left flat. 05:29 So, I went into a world that says if it feels good do it. 05:32 If it felt good I did it. 05:35 So I went off campus and pursued other endeavors. 05:41 Slowly I got into the rock 'n roll and night clubs. 05:47 I started to produce and promote rock groups - and you 05:52 are talking, I heard a little bit about you, you was up 05:57 there as far as doing that. 05:59 You were in that life - eventually, 06:02 that is what led to. 06:03 I signed a lot of groups, I was in merchandising, there 06:06 is many different courses you can take in rock 'n roll. 06:08 I was doing promotions and then there was a calling and 06:11 said listen, we need someone to do merchandise. 06:15 So I got into merchandise, and I literally ate 06:18 and slept rock 'n roll. 06:20 When I found out that someone wanted to pay me for something 06:22 like I was about to do, hello lets go for this. 06:25 I'm there I'm all over it. 06:26 So I put my ear to the ground, it was at a time when 06:30 heavy metal was dead. 06:32 This was the latter part of the 70's and 80's 06:35 in heavy metal was dead. 06:36 But I was feeling something different, I was hearing 06:38 something different. 06:39 It really moved me so I started saying no heavy metal is 06:43 not dead, and on Monday nights I was doing heavy metal Mondays 06:48 in a nightclub up in Madison Wisconsin. 06:50 Things just took off from there. 06:53 We started working with other groups and breaking other 06:57 groups, one of the groups I thought at one time was The 07:00 Police they first came out. 07:01 Though they were not a heavy metal group, the things 07:04 they were doing, Police, U2, these new young groups that 07:07 were the cutting-edge. 07:08 My value started to rise through the ranks and as my 07:14 value started rising I started to feel really good about things 07:19 Exactly, it's like I'm hanging out with all these folks 07:23 that are hip, I must be hip. 07:24 It was a rush, and you're only are as good as the next 07:27 group, or the next promotion. 07:29 So I started doing more and more, and a little bit more 07:31 and a little bit more, and a little bit more until 07:34 you are just strung out on all these feelings and 07:36 I guess maybe not say strung out, you are 07:38 just led along for so long. 07:40 Most of the time when these people are in these music 07:43 groups, or are touring around, it is usually is the 07:46 length of the time the group is on tour or as long as 07:49 the group is touring, because you are only as good as 07:51 your last hit - hit! 07:52 For me, I just kept working with every 07:56 new group that came out. 07:57 So I got into merchandising, I was responsible for 08:00 signing a little tiny group Metallica, Raven and Anthrax 08:04 that little Tiny group everybody that's ever loved their 08:08 music like this tiny group is he crazy. 08:10 Yeah, and I continued to tour with them and all that but 08:15 I was responsible in that and another group followed. 08:18 As with many, many different groups, but that's not 08:22 what we're here to talk about. 08:23 We're here to talk about how I - so how did you get 08:26 from that kind of lifestyle working in groups in the 08:30 entertainment field even if it into marketing 08:32 merchandise into managing strip clubs? 08:35 When somebody said that about you, do you realize I 08:38 couldn't believe that my gut really tightened, and it was 08:42 like I realize I forgive a lot of people, 08:44 but it was hard for me to forgive somebody that I know. 08:48 Like I know the girls that kill themselves in those clubs. 08:50 I know all that stuff so let's talk about how you got in 08:54 there and then can you respond to how you feel when 08:57 I say, it's really tough for me to have you sitting here. 09:00 It's a little hurtful, but we'll get to that as well. 09:04 For me to jump into the strip club setting, for me to go 09:08 as a young man to a club setting was a little different. 09:10 Even though I was in night clubs and around what they 09:13 call groupies, they were still just foreign part of my life. 09:17 It was not a place that I would want to be found dead in. 09:20 So about my 21st birthday, it was the thing to 09:27 do to go out to a club, a bunch of guys took me out. 09:30 That's what I did, I didn't like it and so even when I 09:34 toured on the road it wasn't my cup of tea to do. 09:36 At 26 I met my real father and 09:40 I never knew my father growing up. 09:41 I didn't even know at 15 that I had another father. 09:45 That I had a biological father out there 09:47 until my mother told me. 09:48 And at that time was really struggling with who I was, 09:52 growing up, and most teens are that way. 09:54 We are all struggling, but for me was probably a little 09:57 different kind of struggle, because a lot of people knew 09:59 where I came from, except me. 10:02 My mother was keeping a secret - and you didn't even 10:05 know you thought that your stepfather was your 10:07 biological father - that's correct, that's correct 10:10 until you 15 - until I was 15. 10:11 Oh man - and a lot of people would think that was 10:13 a bad thing but to me it was a good thing, because when 10:16 you realize this guy that has been your father and you 10:18 have had this kind of resistance and you don't understand it. 10:21 I think at a young age, I think kids figure things out. 10:24 They may not know exactly what the answer is, 10:27 but they figure things out. 10:28 I knew that something wasn't right here, but when my mom 10:31 told me that he was my dad, I remembered the text 10:34 came to me "and truth shall set you free. " 10:35 So, you just felt like you knew that all along - yeah 10:39 kind of - something finally validated all at stuff 10:41 that's correct. 10:42 So I wanted to find out who my real dad was and who 10:45 wouldn't, like, you know, I've got another dad, what's 10:48 he about, what's he look like and all these questions. 10:51 Is he like me - or am I like him. 10:54 How much am I like him, good or bad, is the healthy is 10:57 he sick, or is he dead. 10:58 I wouldn't find these questions out till many years later. 11:02 My mom was very reserved about telling me this information. 11:06 She was really hurt through a relationship that 11:10 she had with him. 11:12 I was born illegitimate at a time where I was I don't think 11:16 it's ever been fashionable, but it was more taboo. 11:18 I was even born in home for unwed mothers, and the state 11:24 took me away until my mom could prove a she could 11:26 financially take care of me. 11:28 So I had another mother that was taken care of me - why 11:32 is it that as I'm listening to you, why is it we always 11:36 think our damage is so intense, and we don't realize 11:40 that a person that is damaging us is damaged too? 11:43 And I just want to say as you are talking there's part 11:45 of me wants to say, I'm so sorry. 11:47 I think I was little tadpole, I really didn't realize that 11:54 there damaged was going on - if you can imagine 11:56 we did a whole show on identity. 11:57 and realizing that are a identity gets so 12:00 trashed, when had that sense of not belonging, not having 12:03 our father and all that kind of stuff. 12:04 As you are talking in all this is unfolding, I just want 12:08 to say that I am sorry for what you went through. 12:14 And now it's just like God, just showing me that I just 12:19 can't look at my own stuff. 12:20 That there are people watching right now, that we tend 12:22 to look at our own stuff, not realizing the people 12:25 that have damaged us, or we've perceived damaged from, 12:28 have been damage too. 12:29 So go ahead. 12:30 That's interesting too because there is a lot to be said 12:34 about having a father in the family. 12:35 My stepfather was a very good man, a fireman 12:38 and a very lovely man. 12:39 I even hear that in that in your story, you're not 12:42 saying that anybody did anything wrong, this hole was there. 12:44 Yes, it was, it was, And there was a longing to be 12:48 someone, to do something, you know. 12:49 At 19 years old and you're doing this rock 'n roll 12:52 things, there's something about youth, that you can 12:56 accomplish everything, the world is your oyster, and 12:59 you're going for it. 13:01 I was going for it - except for good nights sleep - 13:03 that's right, even now. 13:05 Alright go-ahead. 13:07 At 26 I met my real father - what was he like? 13:14 He was quite different, actually, for all the time you 13:17 would think you would take a long time to find him 13:19 actually found him in ten minutes. 13:21 My real mom gave me his real name - ten minutes what 13:25 did you do - my mom said I would say when you get married 13:27 or through school or when this happens or for this event. 13:30 I said, mom, I just want to know who the guys is how the 13:32 guys health is, let me get a hold of him. 13:33 You know, that is what I told my mom, but there is also 13:36 this thing you want to discover, you want to find out. 13:38 This is a neat thing that you want to go through. 13:41 So in ten minutes I found him and we had a conversation. 13:44 He asked me, so you think you're my son well describe yourself. 13:48 Well, I have the same eyes, the same forehead, as I'm 13:53 looking at a picture here. 13:54 We establish within moments that I was his son. 13:57 He wanted to meet me and he used it as a defining 14:01 moment, do you do any hunting or fishing? 14:03 Of course I loved hunting and fishing, so I said that - 14:07 you're my boy - that's right, right. 14:08 So I went to visited him and he told me what 14:13 his life is all about. 14:14 I told him I was in the rock 'n roll business and doing 14:17 all these different things. 14:18 Of course he piped up entertainment business too, 14:20 and he said that he owns nightclubs. 14:22 I thought wow, boy howdy how this is great, you own clubs 14:25 I thought it be great to have a club sometime, 14:29 you know to run a club. 14:30 He said well you know they're not your ordinary type clubs. 14:32 And I said what kind of clubs, could they be? 14:35 He said well, there are topless bars. 14:37 He actually says something else, but I'll keep from saying that. 14:41 He said topless bars, and I thought oh, okay. 14:46 And the level went down - because you are already had 14:49 that experience and said - I wasn't sure about it. 14:52 Now, I had siblings, you know, his sons, they were 14:55 working in the business and I got to meet them and they 14:57 are lovely, their these great guys. 14:59 They hunt, they fish, and they have dreams like anyone 15:02 else, they were good guys. 15:03 You know, you wonder what these people are like, they 15:07 are involved in these clubs. 15:08 Well, here it is a family that's involved in it and they 15:11 owned multiple clubs and all these businesses. 15:13 Massage parlors, and all kinds of things. 15:16 Truly to them it is a business - totally like a family business 15:21 They are saying, come on, come on, you should join us. 15:24 But I am already blazing my own trail doing rock 'n roll. 15:27 It would be about 20 years later, within a span of 15:32 20 years later that I would succumb to working for them. 15:35 And what's interesting to it was not like I want to come 15:38 work for you and I want to be around these girls, I want 15:40 to be a manager, I'm really good at this. 15:42 No! It was more or less like, you know what you're clubs 15:45 are really seedy. 15:46 They are your typical like yuck clubs - let's kick them 15:50 up a bit - lets bring them up to the 20th century, you know. 15:53 You know it's a mom pop type club called a business. 15:58 So he gave me a club, he wanted me to work in a club 16:04 down in Little Rock Arkansas. 16:05 He said here's a club, and I said I don't want to do it. 16:08 He goes, because he wanted me to manage, 16:11 I said I don't want to manage. 16:12 He said why don't you want to manage? 16:14 I said I don't want to be around these heartaches. 16:15 It was enough for me to be around rock 'n roll and 16:18 women, and there is something about that too, 16:20 how we view women. 16:21 There was a view that I had on women and rock 'n roll too. 16:24 That also translate as - can you say a little about 16:29 what that view is because there is really, women are objects. 16:34 And that it almost has to be in order to do that kind of 16:40 business, as you can't look at them as people. 16:43 I daresay this, you just look at them as playthings. 16:46 They are just objects they're just playthings, just part 16:50 of the game, it's a necessary evil part of it. 16:54 You go through it and grin and bear it and you go next, 16:57 bring on the next one, bring on the next one. 17:00 And you don't think about the wake of damage you are 17:02 doing on these lives, how you're contributing to none of 17:05 this - you know, what is really interesting as I'm 17:08 getting to know you, as I'm sitting here even in a the 17:11 time we've spent it's been brief. 17:13 Is that my heart says that we were both damaged in that deal. 17:18 Isn't it strange because I can feel so much my damage, 17:21 and even coming on the show I wanted to grab you and 17:24 just say I want you to see what you did. 17:26 Now I want to say I'm sorry for what I did by allowing 17:31 you to treat me like a plaything and not ever being 17:35 something different for you. 17:36 It's kind of interesting that God says I do want to 17:39 bring it full circle, I want you both to heal. 17:42 That's why I call my ministry Full Compass - no way, 17:45 how fun is that alright. 17:46 Bring us all around - alright. 17:47 So after talking with my brothers, you want to be of 17:50 round your family, you hunt and fish and all that. 17:53 And said well, I can do this, the club gets some light 17:56 and get some sound effects. 17:57 I go down to this club and hang out. 17:59 They don't even know who I am down at this club, my hair 18:02 is like really long and they just become a patron - 18:05 they don't know that your dad - is the one that owns the club. 18:08 They want it that way, so I'm going down there and 18:10 tipping all the girls and trying to get free drinks, trying to 18:12 score drugs, and all the things and owner doesn't want 18:15 to happen in his club because he doesn't want to lose profit. 18:17 He doesn't want drugs going on there - he doesn't want 18:19 anyone busted - pulling girls out of the club, or 18:22 picking up on the girls. 18:23 I was successful to point out all those and to report 18:27 back that the stuff was all going on, no wonder you are 18:30 not making any money down there at this club. 18:33 I said, if I was running this club, I would 18:35 do a whole lot better. 18:36 That was what my dad was looking for. 18:39 Now he is not just a dummy who got in these, just 18:41 tripped over these clubs, he's been doing this for years. 18:43 He's had many, many of these clubs, probably 30 18:47 40 of these clubs. 18:48 And so for me to come along, and I'm not the first guy 18:50 that came along, and said that I could do something better. 18:52 But because I was his son, so you think so, huh, so what 18:55 would you do better? 18:56 Well, I would do this, this and this, really? 18:58 Oh well I'll tell you what, if you can do this 18:59 I will give you that. 19:00 I want just a little bit more than that for money, 19:02 you're talking about the money now, I'll do this. 19:04 I'll do that and so the next thing you know you're at it. 19:06 You make those goals, and I'm hooked. 19:09 I'm hooked and more money becomes more money, you're 19:13 working a whole lot put in a lot in to this. 19:15 You are realizing in this business there are a lot of 19:20 players and haters in the whole business. 19:22 You distinguish from those and actually I became very 19:26 reclusive, because I knew if I was going to survive in 19:30 that business, I couldn't hang out with anyone in that business 19:32 It's pretty dark - it's pretty dark, it's very dark. 19:35 I survive in this thing, because I wanted the money, and 19:38 I was told well, what do you do with your days off? 19:41 Before - I literally watched as a girl killed herself, 19:44 and the club owner said, who's going to fill her shift? 19:47 Yeah - and I just wanted to stop and say, does anybody 19:50 care that she just killed herself. 19:52 I was so hurt and it was all about who was going to feel 19:55 her shift because we need to have this many 19:57 girls on at this shift. 19:58 And you have to stick to that amount girls, if you go 20:01 lower, you go higher, you go to high the girls complain, 20:03 and if you don't have enough the owners complain. 20:05 And I really appreciate that too because I've had girls 20:08 that have died in my club too. 20:10 From overdoses, or people that stalked them and kill 20:13 them, from boyfriends that have assassinated them, and 20:15 it really grieved my heart. 20:18 I think that through death, that the Lord used that. 20:23 Got involved these clubs and worked in them if things 20:28 got darker for me for participating and very illicit 20:32 type sex - because you get drawn in. 20:36 If so, I haven't seen anybody in any club I worked in, 20:39 from the time I was 13 years old on, that I hadn't 20:43 seen anybody that wasn't drawn in and twisted. 20:46 Right - when you are in that environment it will twist you up 20:49 Somebody says I can handle this, and I'm thinking don't 20:52 lie to yourself, the devil will have you twisted in no time. 20:55 And I became twisted, I mean really twisted. 20:57 There was a lot of things there that I don't even feel 21:01 comfortable talking about and stuff. 21:03 I still suffer from those, and I still have to pray over 21:06 those things when they come to mind. 21:07 You put everything underneath the sexual conquest, in 21:11 rock 'n roll you do it in the clubs. 21:12 My dad said to me, it never got to a point where I 21:17 stopped, well I stopped from having all these sorted 21:21 sexual affairs in the club with the girls and stuff. 21:25 I just stopped dating altogether or having anything to 21:29 do with any of them. 21:30 I just have to and I don't mean to crack up, to call it 21:34 dating just cracks me up. 21:35 Well yeah - I know what you're saying, but for a lot of 21:39 people watching, dating, courting is something cool, and 21:42 that's not the same in the club. 21:44 It doesn't in fact, I - but it was a nice word. 21:47 It was a nice word yeah. 21:49 A good word there, my dad said to me, I know you are a 21:52 good-looking guy and I know you're not gay. 21:54 He says, you got all these girls I've got hundreds of 21:57 girls that are working for me and some of them come up 22:00 to me and say, what goes on with your son? 22:03 He said I - why does become on to me - yeah, 22:06 why don't you tell them. 22:07 I would just use a little smirk and patent answer and 22:10 said to him if I dated one, I'd have to date two of them. 22:12 Because if there's any conversation going on, I don't 22:15 want to get involved. 22:16 I really didn't want to get involved, I did want to hear 22:18 what your life was all about. 22:19 Just make your shift, just do your shift and go. 22:22 Don't tell me all your excuses, don't tell your tires 22:25 got stuck in the snow when you're down in Arkansas and 22:28 you could make it to your shift. 22:30 Those was one of the excuses given to me. 22:31 One time, that was real interesting was I got picked up 22:34 and almost raped and beaten, I think the guy 22:37 was going to kill me. 22:38 I called in to work and said, you know what, I was just crying 22:42 I had run, I don't how many miles and this guy tried to 22:45 run me over with his car when I jumped out of his car. 22:48 And all this kind is stuff I called the club owner, and 22:52 I wanted someone to say I'm sorry, and the guy said are 22:55 you trying to tell me you're not going to make your shift? 22:57 And I just went man I wanted to kill somebody. 23:01 I was that guy, a was that guy - I know. 23:04 All that stuff came up and I wanted, you know, it's 23:07 really interesting, because it is that black-and-white. 23:09 You're going to make your shift or not, don't tell me 23:12 you were almost raped, I need you at work. 23:14 And I need you at work on time. 23:16 You get thick skin, you hear those excuses, all over. 23:19 And the management says listen, if you get this and you 23:22 get this, bonuses and you do this, and some girls will 23:24 give you some excuse. 23:25 And you go, come on Cheri, don't give me this stuff 23:28 anymore, I see you coming a mile away. 23:31 You know, but what happens when it's true, and you're so 23:35 thick-skinned, you think about this stuff. 23:37 At least I did. 23:38 It was after taking one of these clubs and revamping it, 23:43 we had already done several and sold them for 23:47 quite a bit of money. 23:48 I was working on another club, little different in the South. 23:53 I'm up in the mountain areas. 23:55 I look at this club that we had redone, and we had put a 24:03 nice restaurant in there with a chef. 24:05 And we have a nice wine list and champagne for $500.00. 24:09 We have all this stuff - so it's more of a gentleman's 24:13 club - not essentially a gentleman's club too. 24:16 Now there are those different levels, you can have a 24:18 sleazy club or a gentleman's club and you are paying more. 24:21 We'll like to say strips clubs, they call it a 24:23 gentleman's club. 24:25 But another thing to that I have come about its all 24:28 pornography, but we don't say pornography, that means 24:32 something illicit is going on. 24:33 In our society, they do not look at it as illicit anymore 24:36 Because everyone does that and there's a lot of 24:38 statistics that support all that. 24:39 And that's probably something another time, we can go 24:43 into - can I ask you how you got out of that? 24:46 Because right now I just feel oppressed by all that 24:49 knowing what that was like. 24:50 So how do you get out of that how did God turn around 24:53 and say, you know what you are going to be a pastor. 24:55 Where are you how did you get lost here? 25:00 I have to give praise to God on that, He never 25:05 let go of my hand. 25:06 Now, I think back on Psalms 73 - what a Psalms 73? 25:11 Psalm 73, if the whole Psalms there were Asaph slipped 25:15 on a slippery slope, a little tongue twister there, but 25:20 he considered the people. 25:22 And he almost did what they did when everybody else 25:25 is saying, I'm going to paraphrase this, when everyone 25:27 in the whole world is saying 25:28 it's cool to party its okay to do this, eat the fat, 25:31 have a good time party drink good time, there is no God 25:34 There is no God that cares, and they were just right in 25:37 God's face to say all this stuff. 25:39 Asaph who didn't slip, but he said he considered it, and it 25:42 wasn't until he went into the sanctuary that he realized 25:46 the redemptive powers of it all. 25:48 I was in the clubs and considering my handiwork, and we 25:53 were even talking about buying a casino and doing this. 25:57 We were gone big time with this, and I thought myself, 26:01 okay I am making a lot of money doing this and I am 26:05 considering everybody. 26:06 I am looking at the dancers on the stage, I am sitting 26:08 there in the glow of the DJ lights up there in the back 26:11 in the darkness there. 26:12 I'm watching every thing and considering the dancers on 26:15 the stage and thinking about the guys that are 26:17 tipping them at my wait staff and everybody. 26:20 I'm thinking vanity, vanity, vanity! 26:22 It goes through my mind, it goes through my mind, and I 26:24 am thinking on this. 26:26 Now I have to back up here, 8 months earlier, the 26:28 seed that was planted by my mother, who is dying of cancer. 26:32 She had asked me to pray for her, and I thought, here I 26:35 am in these clubs, and she's asked me to pray for her. 26:38 And I went along with the charade and said sure I'll 26:41 pray for you. 26:42 I don't want to hurt my mom, I can get for just about 26:43 anything, but I loved her. 26:45 But when it came down to the chemo wasn't working, nothing 26:48 was working in her life in frustration set in. 26:49 Mike, are you praying for me, there was an opportunity there 26:52 to say yeah I know, I tried, but it's not going to work 26:55 because I'm not that worthy. 26:56 She said like you come over here and sit down, and I 26:59 want to share with you. 27:00 And I thought anyone else, I know you will appreciate 27:03 this, you would have said, stuff a sock, I'm not about it, 27:06 I'm not about to say that, but it's your mom. 27:09 She starts talking to me and I would like to say 27:12 something happened at that point, but that is where a 27:14 seed was planted. 27:15 I dig go up in the mountains there and I did pray about 27:18 a month later. 27:19 And I bared my soul to God, and after many tears of 27:24 about an hour praying. 27:25 I got up and kind of defiantly almost saying, I kind of had 27:28 enough of all this you know. 27:31 Because it was very different for me the spiritualness, 27:33 being in this way. 27:35 So now you are in this club, and everything is vanity - 27:37 everything is vanity. 27:38 I said, if you can do something in my life have at it. 27:41 8 months later, I come to the club, and I'm thinking 27:43 of vanity and who said that Benjamin Franklin? 27:46 Where is this coming from, is this a little cliché. 27:49 So I go home - I can see all our viewers right now, no, 27:52 no, this is in the Bible - it's Solomon, it's Solomon. 27:56 So I go on home, I going into the refrigerator and grab 27:59 a beer and sit down and put the TV on. 28:02 A 164 channels, nothing on but gospel. 28:04 So I watching this black gospel preacher up there and he 28:08 was talking about vanity. 28:09 Wow - and my ears glued on vanity. 28:12 And he said yeah it's in Ecclesiastes. 28:15 So I ran to the back room and find a Bible, and I go in 28:18 there and see what he is talking about. 28:20 And this show ends and I keep reading Ecclesiastes, and I 28:24 keep reading it. 28:25 And I find that I am in here, and then it says remember 28:28 also your Creator in the days of youth, something 28:31 that I had forgotten about it 19. 28:32 Why does this say to remember the Creator in the 28:34 days of your youth? 28:35 We have so many decisions to make, 28:37 and I took a different path. 28:38 You know what I want you to hold that because I don't 28:42 want to quickly go over this part of the story, this 28:46 part of your life. 28:47 And we have to take a break, and this part, I know it is 28:50 blessing me just hearing it so I know that it's going 28:52 to bless anybody that it's going to bless all you guys. 28:55 So we're going to take a break, we're going to find out 28:58 what Solomon say, what is vanity, what does all that mean? 29:01 So stay with us, we will be right back! |
Revised 2014-12-17