Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Ron Woolsey
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00040A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery,
00:11 I'm Cheri your host. 00:13 In some circles, there are just some things 00:14 you do not talk about. 00:16 Your opinion may even be labeled as 00:18 politically incorrect. 00:20 That leads me to wonder are there lifestyles, 00:22 and sins that even God Himself is powerless against? 00:24 Are there people that God just writes off? 00:27 Come join us as we look at same-sex attractions. 00:56 Welcome back, you know, what is really interesting 00:59 to me is that when I think about same-sex attractions, 01:02 homosexuality, gay issues. 01:04 Coming from the streets, I came from the streets so 01:06 that is just everyday stuff. 01:07 And coming into Christianity and realizing that God 01:10 has a lot of things that He has spoken about that. 01:14 So I'm going to just start with the story that 01:17 happened to me not long ago. 01:19 I am at a church, and I speak at every denomination. 01:22 If you ask me to come speak about God. 01:24 I don't care who you are, I'm there, I'm so there. 01:27 I don't say well what denomination are you, 01:29 are you a believer or not a believer. 01:31 I don't even care, because I just love to talk 01:34 about God and healing. 01:35 So, I go to this one denomination and we are doing 01:37 a whole weekend thing. 01:38 I am sitting there the whole time thinking, 01:40 does anybody see that the pastor is gay? 01:44 And everybody is not paying attention to that. 01:46 And this guy is so gay. 01:48 I mean, and I don't want to offend anybody, 01:50 but he was just, it was just out of place to me. 01:54 You know in this life, and so I just did the whole 01:59 weekend and every time he got up I just kind of smiled. 02:03 He was funny, he was funny and joking around, 02:08 but even in his joking. 02:10 It was just like, I kept thinking gay, he's gay. 02:12 So we got home late at night after one of the meetings 02:19 that we had. 02:20 It was like 11:30 PM, and everybody was tired, and he 02:23 said Cheri, can I ask you something? 02:24 Can we talk? 02:25 And I thought oh man, he's going to tell me. 02:27 And he's going to tell me and what am I saying? 02:30 What do I believe about all that. 02:32 What was really funny is that I knew he was 02:35 going to like, confess. 02:36 I'm like no, don't. 02:38 I'm like just a mess, I'm an addict in recovery, you 02:42 don't want to tell me anything. 02:43 He said, you know that I'm gay? 02:45 And I'm like yes I do. 02:47 And I wanted to say no, no, really, but how can 02:50 you lie like that when the pastor is being 02:52 so honest with you? 02:53 So the long and short of it is that we get 02:56 to know each other. 02:58 When somebody decides they are going to help him out, 02:59 because there is freedom in recovery 03:01 from all kinds of stuff. 03:02 You know, a heroin addict, you can come out of that. 03:05 Somebody lost in same-sex attractions, addictions and 03:09 all that kind stuff. 03:10 You know all that stuff, God says there's healing. 03:13 Let me just kind of find out what is happening with you, 03:16 and it never is really about the issue. 03:18 So, we are talking about that. 03:19 He is talking to other people, and somebody says, 03:21 you know, you can get some help with that. 03:22 Just to look at some of the stuff they send them to 03:25 San Francisco for counseling. 03:27 I'm like shut up, you didn't go, did you? 03:31 I'm dying because I'm think if you go, you can act 03:34 out all the way there, and all the way back. 03:36 And that's exactly what happened. 03:37 He was married to an incredible woman. 03:39 He goes in for counseling, trying to get some 03:42 understanding about his pain and sexuality 03:45 and all that kind of stuff. 03:46 Yet every street corner, he acted out on. 03:50 So he really starts coming to God. 03:53 You know what, this guy has some incredible hurts and early 03:57 addictions, sexualized behavior, molest. 04:00 He just had a bunch of stuff he had to work through. 04:03 He literally comes to God and God just puts His 04:06 hand on his life and brings him to a place 04:08 of acceptance and recovery. 04:10 His recovery was so amazing. 04:12 We always think its about the issue. 04:14 We always think it's about our sexuality, 04:15 or the heroine or whatever. 04:17 But most of us are so hurt. 04:19 Most of us has such deep rooted junk that God 04:22 says you know I want to heal the junk and everything 04:24 else kind of falls off. 04:26 When you realize how much you are loved, when you realize 04:29 all that kind of stuff the junk falls off. 04:30 So he ends up finding Christ for the 04:34 first time in his life. 04:35 Feels like the Bible says and I want to start here, 04:39 Romans 8:1, it says "so now there is no condemnation 04:44 for those who belong to Christ Jesus. " 04:45 So he comes to God, he literally works through some 04:48 stuff and he feels he is sitting in the presence of God, 04:51 who everybody thinks doesn't even like gays. 04:55 And I hope you don't turn the channel off right now 04:57 because I feel like that statement is offensive, 04:59 but I really believe I've heard that. 05:01 If I haven't heard that out loud, I have heard 05:03 people say, there are certain things, 05:05 that God just doesn't like. 05:07 You know, God doesn't like gays, He doesn't like 05:09 porn addicts, He surely doesn't like molesters. 05:12 I'm a heroine addict, with tons of stuff. 05:15 He surely doesn't like people like me and in the Bible says, 05:18 man where did you get that? 05:21 Because not only do I like you, I love you and I don't 05:26 have any condemnation towards you. 05:27 I'm not putting shame on you, guilt on you. 05:30 I literally want to bring you out of that. 05:31 So he comes to the point, were he finds 05:34 Christ for the first time, standing in the presence 05:36 of God for the first time. 05:37 And feels absolutely loved and accepted, wooed by God, 05:40 And I'm thinking, I've listened to this guy tell this 05:44 story and I can feel the Holy Spirit in him. 05:47 And I can feel the shock, almost in him, that I stood 05:50 in the presence of God loved. 05:52 And his journey out of that lifestyle was intense. 05:55 I'm telling you it was intense and was 05:57 not just an overnight thing. 05:58 It was just not a one-day thing. 06:00 But I watched this guy fall in love with Christ. 06:03 You know what I said to him? 06:04 I said man, I so can't wait. 06:08 He writes books, the guys a genius and had 06:10 some really good stuff. 06:13 I said I can't wait until you write this book. 06:15 And he looked at me and said, Cheri, and his wife 06:20 even said, we don't want anyone to know this. 06:24 So like, sorry I told the story. 06:26 But we don't want anybody to know that so we're 06:29 not going to write this book. 06:30 We are not going to put all this on the table. 06:34 When he said that my heart broke. 06:37 Do you know broke for? 06:38 Every single kid that has to struggle with this. 06:41 Every single person that has to look at this. 06:43 Every single person that is lost in this lifestyle 06:46 and dares to even think that maybe there is a God 06:49 that can help me, that doesn't have something 06:51 they can pick up and see that. 06:52 You see, know that they're people that have done this 06:55 journey before you and didn't feel any condemnation. 06:58 There are people that have stood up in Christ, and got 07:00 healing and literally to this point are walking out of that. 07:04 There are people that I know and love, that will tell 07:08 you how God has loved them in the most intimate 07:10 moments in their life. 07:12 Whether they were acting out and God just 07:15 showed up in said, you know what, I love you. 07:17 I love you so let's get into healing. 07:19 So I was devastated when he said he wouldn't share 07:23 this with anyone because he was afraid. 07:24 He was afraid of what people were going to do and 07:26 the judgment that was going to come to him. 07:28 I thought man, and his wife said something that 07:31 was funny, she's adorable. 07:32 She said, I just wanted to marry a pastor, 07:36 not a gay guy, you know what I mean? 07:39 I'm thinking, I'm thinking I can see her pain in that. 07:42 I wanted to marry a pastor and all of a sudden this 07:45 stuff unfolds, I just want healing and to be right now. 07:50 Let's not have to talk about it. 07:52 So on this show I'm just going to beg you, 07:56 if you never had any damage sexually. 08:00 If you have never been in those situations where you 08:03 have really gone all the way out in that direction, 08:06 just give us permission to explore it. 08:11 If you have, man, I want to tell you that isn't God cool! 08:16 The fact that He loves us, the fact that 08:20 none of our junk shocks Him. 08:22 You know, I can't wait. 08:24 The first people that I'm going to hang out with besides Christ, 08:27 when I'm in heaven, is Mary Magdalena and the demoniac. 08:29 I'm going to like Woo Hoo, can you believe we are here! 08:32 Do you know what I mean, I just want to tell them. 08:34 Can you believe we are sitting here with all these 08:37 cool folks that haven't been as trashed as us. 08:40 But we're sitting in the same place. 08:42 We're loved by the same God, in the same way, isn't He awesome? 08:47 I want to introduce you now to a friend of mine. 08:49 A recent friend of mine Ron, I want you to come back up 08:52 here, and Ron what was really incredible to me about 08:56 Ron Woolsey, Woolsey if I'm pronouncing the name right, 09:00 I never get it right. 09:01 Ron, you understand what I'm talking about. 09:05 You actually wrote a book on your journey. 09:08 Yes, but like that pastor, I didn't want to write a 09:12 book, in fact it was 9 years after my conversion 09:16 that I was asked to. 09:17 I have made a commitment to the Lord that wherever 09:20 I was asked to speak for Him I would, but I wasn't 09:22 going to just volunteer. 09:25 I was very timid. 09:26 And so tell me, because I don't think a lot of 09:29 people understand when you said, I literally 09:31 did not want to write it. 09:33 It wasn't that I wasn't going to come to the table 09:35 with this and just accept my healing and be grateful. 09:37 So why is it that you wouldn't write it, 09:39 what were you afraid of? 09:40 I think the Lord had His hand in that because when I 09:43 came into the faith and was called in to the Ministry, 09:45 what credibility when I have 1 year, 2 years. 09:50 In fact, there was an elder my own church that would 09:53 come to me and say Pastor Ron, I've never met anyone 09:57 like you that lasted more than 2 years in the church. 10:00 Because of the recovery? 10:01 Yeah, he said, you'll be back where you came from. 10:03 What kind of encouragement is that? 10:05 I finally wrote him a letter, it was a dear John letter. 10:08 His name was John - dear John don't talk to me again. 10:10 No! I said, dear John, you know instead of 10:13 standing on the sidelines waiting for me to fulfill 10:15 your prediction, why don't you lift me up 10:18 in prayer that I won't? 10:19 By the way it's been 2 years and I'm going on 3. 10:23 Well now it's been 16. 10:25 I never looked back, never went back. 10:28 When the Son set you free, you are free indeed. 10:31 So, I want you to tell us where did you come from? 10:33 LA - okay, good, good start. 10:37 No when I fell into that lifestyle I was right 10:43 out of college, I had a degree in theology. 10:45 Wow I didn't know that. 10:46 That's an amazing thing, but I think it is an important 10:50 detail to insert here because I think many people go 10:54 through college and are raised in Christian homes. 10:58 They just expect that everything will be Christian. 11:02 They will be like they're expected to be. 11:06 Going through college and graduating with honors, 11:09 with a degree in theology. 11:10 But having attractions to men throughout this time, 11:14 so it didn't just start then. 11:16 This was something that you had struggled with in your 11:19 life - Yes - long before college. 11:21 But I didn't have the understanding that I had later. 11:26 I've struggled with this issue since I was 4 years old. 11:31 Now that should tell you something. 11:33 What 4-year-old child should have any kind of 11:37 inclination toward sexuality? 11:39 So if I was struggling with same-sex attraction and 11:43 fantasizing all of this from the time I was 4 years old, 11:47 something happened when I was 4- Right - and it did. 11:51 I had to research my life and figure all that out. 11:55 I was robbed of my innocence at 4. 11:57 So when you say robbed of your innocence - that is a 12:01 nice way of saying, I was introduced to 12:04 perverted sexual behavior. 12:06 By a farm hand, and I was traumatized, but the victim 12:13 quite often feels, in fact usually feels responsible. 12:17 And even at 4 years old, Cheri, I felt that I had done 12:21 something wrong, - that I wanted this to happen. 12:23 But I would not go tattle to mommy and daddy, 12:26 because I had done something wrong. 12:28 And so that just festered in me all my life. 12:32 Like a nasty boil until it eventually erupted. 12:35 And when it did, there was no holds barred, 12:39 I mean there was no holding me back. 12:40 There was nothing anybody can say or do. 12:43 I wouldn't listen to anything, read anything, watch 12:46 anything, talk to anybody, it was over. 12:49 You had a Christian family that was trying to help. 12:52 Oh yes, but they have no idea what was going on. 12:54 I was a master at masking my, the contents of my mind. 13:00 I never let on that I was having that struggle. 13:03 I was struggling all alone. 13:05 And what was really interesting to me, as I was 13:08 going through the book that you wrote. 13:10 You even talked about going out and doing mission trips, 13:13 and hanging out with folks. 13:14 I was a spiritual child, a spiritual teenager. 13:17 I was valedictorian in the 8 grade and 12 grade. 13:20 At a Christian school? 13:21 Yes, I chose to go to a Christian schools myself. 13:25 I was a student missionary, but I was always plagued 13:27 by these thoughts and attractions. 13:30 I felt so contaminated because of my temptations. 13:35 You know Ron, I can't even imagine what you struggled 13:38 with that as a kid and how you must've felt like, 13:41 if they only knew. 13:42 Well I felt terribly guilty - even though - I just 13:49 I didn't know anyone like me. 13:51 I felt like was the only one in the world. 13:54 I knew better, but I never met anyone else that 13:58 was struggling with what I was struggling with. 14:00 I never knew who I could talk to, so I didn't. 14:02 I just totally internalized and that was my demise, 14:07 spiritually. 14:09 Now, had I at 4 years old had been able to go to 14:11 my parents and tell what happened, they could have 14:14 assured me that I was okay - and that shame wouldn't have 14:17 been laid on you. 14:18 That's right, and I could've been healed at the age of 14:21 4, and I could've had a normal life, I believe. 14:24 That was a step, there were many factors involved, 14:27 it is not any one thing, but that was a step. 14:29 So now you said you were in college, you're doing 14:34 this whole theology thing. 14:35 Are you acting out at this point? 14:38 No, no, I never - you still - oh no, I was going 14:42 to do the right thing. 14:43 I wanted to be right with God and my fellow man. 14:47 In fact, I married a student missionary that I had 14:50 worked with in Korea. 14:52 You know, I thought I was an intelligent person, 14:58 but this is just such poor reasoning. 15:01 I thought if I just got married, it would take care 15:04 of all the sexual compulsion that I feel. 15:08 It would be sexual release, and I would be fine. 15:13 I did that to that poor woman and she was a nice 15:17 lady, young lady, a good Christian. 15:19 I married her for the solution, but Jesus is the 15:24 solution not marriage. 15:25 You know what is really interesting is that your heart 15:28 you were desperate to be right. 15:30 I wanted to be right, but I had no answers. 15:33 Because I didn't talk to anyone, see I didn't know 15:35 where to go so I didn't. 15:36 That was - when you got married, realizing that 15:41 was not the answer. 15:42 But I'm still plagued by this and now I'm 15:45 plagued with realizing what I did to you, 15:47 because I'm not connecting with you. 15:49 Oh yes and we had two children, and that was my plan 15:55 also because that would occupy my wife, keep her busy 16:01 and keep me from having to be so attentive to her. 16:05 It was a terrible thing that I did to her, but I didn't 16:07 know, I didn't plan to do that. 16:09 But as we were married, I just develop more and more of 16:12 an aversion, realizing this is not who I am. 16:16 This is who I am and I don't know what to do about it. 16:20 I thought it was just born this way, I didn't connect 16:24 the dots at that point. 16:25 So I just thought - you know, and I'm so horrible and 16:28 I just want to say, I'm so horrible and I want to say 16:31 again, you weren't acting out. 16:33 Cause I wanted to say how did you not act out. 16:36 Can we get a lie detector test? 16:37 No, I'm sorry - bring it on. 16:41 Okay, you know what I wanted to say is that 16:42 must've been for most people, like this pastor 16:44 I was talked about. 16:45 He was acting out all over, then condemning himself. 16:48 From the age of 14, when somebody tweaked his whole 16:51 sexuality, he would act out and feel even worse. 16:55 But you are saying, I literally fought this 16:57 and didn't act out - I fought it tooth and nail, 16:59 but I found myself fantasizing, 17:01 I acted out in my mind, then I felt terribly guilty 17:05 from that, because I fought it, I mean, 17:08 I fought it all my life. 17:09 I did not want to go there. 17:11 It came to a point where I finally just gave up and 17:15 said, this is who I am. 17:17 I'm not being true to my wife, to my family, to myself. 17:20 In my going to live the rest of my life in this agony, 17:23 misery and living a lie. 17:25 Did you ever feel, because that is such a hopeless 17:30 place to be in, did you ever feel like, you know what 17:34 just take me out, I'm just done. 17:35 I loved life, I was never suicidal. 17:38 Never did, good for you. 17:40 I never wanted to end it, I wanted a good life. 17:45 Yes, I wanted help, but I didn't dare ask for it. 17:49 I felt that people would sneer at me - can I just take 17:54 that for a minute? 17:55 Great shock and go, what! 17:57 Can I just say for a minute, I really mean this. 17:59 You know, we have many different issues. 18:03 This is just one where people are dying to come 18:05 honestly to someone in the church, to the church itself 18:10 and just be able to say, I'm struggling with this. 18:12 Can you help me? 18:14 But we are so afraid that if I do come up, I will be 18:17 shunned for the rest of my life and that would totally, 18:19 really be alone. 18:21 And sometimes, I want to plead with the churches, 18:24 we got to get over ourselves. 18:25 Oh yes, and I have to tell you when I was in that life 18:30 in Florida, Fort Lauderdale, you know all the gay Mecca's 18:34 And in Southern California, Palm Springs - because you 18:37 jumped into that life at that point. 18:38 When I had my first experience, that was it. 18:41 I mean I was addicted from that first experience - Especially as 18:45 you set your mind up all all those years fantasizing too. 18:48 I knew once that happened I said, though I hate it, this 18:52 is just who I am. 18:53 But you know, Cheri, when I was in the world all those 18:56 years I continually met young people, or people that 19:00 would say to me that if I knew there was any other way 19:04 I would never be gay. 19:05 That is why I'm in the Ministry I am in now, because I 19:09 realize I am not the only one that had the struggle. 19:11 There are many, I mean, there is a large percentage of 19:16 gay people that are defending it, they are militant, 19:19 they are proud of it, and they are celebrating it, 19:22 promoting it and brainwashing people with it. 19:25 But even if it is a small minority, God loves 19:29 those people and He does not want to live 19:31 throughout eternity without them. 19:33 I am finding around the world through my 19:35 website Ministry - that people want to stand up 19:37 that people out as they read 19:39 my book and hear my story. 19:42 They say, I too can be whole. 19:44 And they come forward. 19:46 You know, we all can do that with our testimony. 19:50 Revelation 12:11 says, "we can overcome the accuser 19:52 of the brethren by the blood of the Lamb, and by the 19:56 word of our testimony. " 19:57 But you know, how did you come out? 20:01 Cause right now from your story, you are in the middle 20:04 of all this kind of stuff. 20:05 You are like an alcoholic that has walked away from 20:10 every thing you know into this lifestyle. 20:11 How long did that period of your life last and 20:14 how did you come out? 20:15 That lasted 16 years, and I went into it very bitter, 20:20 because as I realized who I really was - and can I 20:24 just say, you are an incredible piano player, you have 20:27 have theology, you've done special music at church, 20:29 you preach and all that kind of stuff. 20:31 So you literally when you jumped in that lifestyle, 20:34 you had this incredible talented giftings that you 20:40 took into that lifestyle and used in that lifestyle. 20:43 So how did you stand up? 20:44 It was like being born again, but the wrong way. 20:48 There was nothing in my present life at that time 20:51 that I could carry into the new one. 20:53 I turned my back on religion, I squandered the beautiful 20:57 family, the Lord had given me, and there was nothing 21:00 I could do with the music because I had been raised and 21:02 trained in church music. 21:04 So - that would kind of squash, a party. 21:07 What does a musician do, I had music in my 21:09 bones, so I took up dancing, became a dance instructor. 21:12 And then all those 16 years I was a dancer. 21:14 That way, I was always around music, but it was the 21:17 Devils music and devils dancing and all that. 21:20 But that is how I filled that void in my life. 21:23 My life turned 180 degrees the opposite direction 21:26 totally from where I had been prior to that. 21:29 Now you are in that lifestyle, did you have multiple 21:35 partners or just a partner that you - I wanted to 21:38 be married, I wanted a relationship, 21:42 I didn't want to be tricking. 21:44 I didn't want to spend my life, flitting from flower 21:47 to flower, tricking, but to get to Mr. right 21:50 you have to flit. 21:53 So there were too many times I was going from person 22:00 to person, until Mr. Right came along. 22:03 So we were together for 3 years. 22:07 With your personality type and your character that 22:11 was hard too, because I don't want to just be 22:13 out here with everybody. 22:15 I wanted to be as normal as possible. 22:17 In an abnormal lifestyle, the abnormal lifestyle was 22:20 killing you, so again, how did you come back? 22:24 Well I have to back up just a little bit. 22:28 I went through my divorce. 22:30 My wife and I, I did consent to go to some 22:34 counseling - cause you had to tell her this is 22:36 what you were struggling with? 22:38 As soon as I had that first experience, right after 22:43 that I told her, because I didn't want to live a lie, 22:46 I didn't want to be a hypocrite. 22:47 I wasn't going to be a pastor with that, that in 22:50 my life, so I told her and bless her heart she did 22:54 everything to try to help me and turn me around. 22:59 and to cooperate, she didn't just want to walk 23:03 away she loved me. 23:04 So I consented to go to some counseling, and I went 23:07 to pastors, counselors, and psychiatrists, 23:09 all religious ones. 23:11 I don't need to name the denomination do I? 23:13 In the end Cheri, they almost all counseled with her 23:19 and said, you know, you need to divorce this man 23:21 and get on with his life, that kind can never change. 23:24 That was Christian counseling. 23:28 That is the way I felt, but I was very hurt by that and 23:33 it left me in the world as bitter and angry because God 23:35 could help Cheri, but He couldn't help me. 23:38 He could help an heroine addict, porno addict. 23:41 and your question was, how did I come back. 23:44 Well, I did not go to any pastor, or counselor, or 23:49 psychiatrist, I wonder why? 23:51 I had already been there, and they couldn't help me. 23:53 I had a degree in theology and a lot of knowledge, 23:56 but what I had realized I had studied all those years 23:59 to answer the questions of the professors. 24:01 I had stopped studying to answer my soul questions. 24:06 Now say that again. 24:07 I studied to pass the tests, I answered the questions of 24:11 the professors, and I didn't have time to answer my own 24:14 questions through the Word of God. 24:16 That's how I lost my relationship, that's how I fell. 24:18 You know, for somebody watching right now, I want you 24:22 to repeat is that when you are in a place and you're really 24:26 stuck, is to pick up the Word of God to answer 24:29 those personal questions. 24:30 Like you were saying, you had read the 24:33 Bible through to pass a test. 24:35 Now you have to pick it up again and say what's this got 24:38 from a life - that's what I did and when I give a full-blown 24:42 testimony, I talk about this Left Behind Series I had. 24:45 My parents loved me unconditionally, very important. 24:48 They prayed for me without ceasing. 24:50 They became very forgetful, they would come all the way 24:54 across the country to visit me from time to time. 24:56 Every time they went home they left something behind - 24:58 They are like oh my goodness He's gay? 24:59 Oh! I thought forgetful in that way. 25:02 No! no, they left something behind. 25:04 They knew that they couldn't get me to read or watch 25:07 or listen or talk, so they would leave something behind. 25:09 Under my pillow, on my bed, on the back of the toilet, 25:12 here and there. 25:13 Good for them. 25:14 These were tokens of love, and I didn't have the heart 25:16 to throw them away, but I had no use for them. 25:18 Interestingly, they all had a note to me in them, 25:20 and I collected them over the years. 25:23 I ended up with a complete Left Behind Series, 25:26 And it was not Tim LaHayes either 25:29 It was before Tim LaHaye ever came on the scene. 25:32 But I had - I love that - I had a wonderful 25:34 library and so there was the little garden 25:37 sitting there just waiting. 25:38 When the Lord really was able to work on my heart, 25:41 then like I said I didn't go to the counselors, 25:45 I went to the Word and to my knees. 25:48 I studied for my very life, and I found all of my 25:53 answers, well in this book. 25:55 Show us some stuff that you found. 25:57 Well - Steps To Christ, we went through that for 25:59 our first season, so it is an incredible book. 26:02 This is a funny story, and I will 26:04 try to make it real brief. 26:05 I was such - I like funny, long stories. 26:06 Yes, but we don't have time for that one so. 26:09 I was, my mind was just mush, from watching TV. 26:16 I was a TV addict, I was an addictive person. 26:19 So I went to the Left Behind Series to pull out 26:23 something to read, I tried with the Bible. 26:26 It was too heavy, and I put it back. 26:29 I couldn't concentrate on it. 26:30 But I found this book, and I pulled it out and I 26:33 thought, if I'm going to read I'm going to have to 26:35 relax, because I hadn't read anything in 16 years 26:38 of any substance so I went to the kitchen, pulled out my 26:41 blender poured in some yellow stuff and green stuff and ice 26:44 and blended it all up together and got out the bag of salt. 26:46 And I rimmed my glass and came back in with my great 26:50 big midori margarita. 26:52 I set down with that and lit up a cigarette. 26:54 This is someone who had a degree in theology, 26:58 and I knew better, but it had been 16 years and I sat 27:01 down and started reading page one of Steps To Christ. 27:05 I was drinking and smoking, and I thought there's 27:07 something wrong with this picture. 27:09 So it's not even what was said, it's just like you, 27:11 the picture was just - no, I'm reading in the Word 27:13 of God and I'm smoking and drinking. 27:15 And I thought, you know, and I had a little talk with 27:17 God and I said, God I didn't leave You over cigarettes, 27:20 I've only done that for 3 years. 27:22 I didn't leave You over alcohol, didn't know anything 27:25 about alcohol until after I left You. 27:27 That is not my problem. 27:28 So I sipped and smoked and said I'm going to keep 27:31 reading until You tell me what's really wrong. 27:34 And in this book it is on page 32. 27:37 I want share this little paragraph. 27:39 It was a turning point in my experience, as I read this. 27:43 It says, "God does not require us to give up anything 27:47 that it is for our best interest to retain. " 27:50 "In all He does, He has the well-being of 27:54 His children in view. " 27:55 "Would that all who have not chosen Christ might realize that 28:00 He has something vastly better to offer them than they 28:04 are seeking for themselves. " 28:06 Wow - I reached over and put out my cigarette, I could 28:10 no longer read the Word of God and smoke and drink. 28:13 And here I had been living this self gratification life 28:16 for 16 years. 28:18 It suddenly dawned on me, what Christ has to offer far 28:21 exceeds anything that I can even imagine. 28:23 How stupid can I be! His way is better! 28:27 We are going to break on this whole stupid thing. 28:29 We will come back to find out, don't answer that 28:33 question, so we are going to take a break and 28:36 I want you to come back because for one 28:37 this journey is incredible, the fact that God, He doesn't 28:41 say you change and get right and then I'll have you open 28:45 the Word of God and come back to Me. 28:47 He just says, in the middle of what ever, if you have 28:49 any inclination to even turn to Me in prayer, grab 28:52 something that somebody has left behind. 28:54 To really open up the scriptures again and find out some 28:56 answers for yourself, for what is going on in your life. 28:58 He just says, just come. 29:01 I have a friend that used to smoke weed. 29:04 And he was just smoking weed and studying the Bible. 29:07 He said he didn't feel good enough to come to church, 29:10 so he would just study the Bible. 29:11 And he said, one day he is studying, and I was having 29:14 Cheri, the most incredible time with God when the ash 29:19 from the joint just fell on the Bible and burned a hole 29:22 in the page. 29:23 And he looked at me, just like, and I said wow, 29:27 what did you do? 29:28 He said, I immediately switched to a pipe, 29:30 and I'm thinking, how cute is that. 29:33 That we come to God, we don't even know, 29:36 smoking weed and doing Bible studies may 29:39 not be the best or been so out there. 29:43 I have another friend, a Meth addict, when he would get 29:45 so high on Meth and speeding out for 4 or 5 days. 29:51 He would have Bible studies at his house. 29:52 So, I think God says, you know what I don't care. 29:56 Not that I don't care your strung out, not that I don't 29:59 care that you are lost in your addictions, but whatever 30:01 it takes to get you to just opened this book. 30:04 Start looking for answers in this book or praying to 30:08 Me and I will literally walk you into recovery. 30:10 We are going to take a break. 30:12 I want you to come back, because I want to introduce 30:16 you to some are friends of mine who have joined us for 30:18 this show, for this topic. 30:20 Stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17