Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Lemuel Vega
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00038A
00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life and Recovery
00:11 I'm your host Cheri, and today I'm going to introduce
00:14 you to a friend of mine that literally came out of
00:16 prison and stepped into recovery.
00:18 It is absolutely the coolest thing ever.
00:20 Come join us in the café.
00:48 Welcome back, you know, what is interesting to me is
00:52 that when you talk about somebody coming out of prison,
00:55 coming out of that lifestyle.
00:57 I was on the street for ten years and
01:00 most of you know that.
01:01 I came out of some horrendous things, but the people
01:03 that I ran went in and out of jail, and in
01:06 and our of their addictions.
01:07 I would have given anything had all of them
01:09 came out at the same time.
01:10 had all of them had joined me in my recovery,
01:13 but that didn't happen.
01:14 Most of them didn't come out.
01:15 Most of them, I know didn't even live long after I came out.
01:19 So whenever I hear a prison story of somebody coming out
01:22 of jail at actually been successful in recovery.
01:25 I want to look at God and kiss Him on the face, I want
01:27 to just grab Him and say thank you for not giving up.
01:30 I want to even grab the person in recovery and say,
01:32 thank you that you fought through every single thing
01:35 that you had to fight through.
01:36 And I know it's not easy, but God bless you.
01:38 And today I want to introduce you to a friend that has come
01:42 from that background, and never gave up right?
01:44 Lemuel never gave up.
01:46 Cheri I want to say thank you for your enthusiasm,
01:50 for this program, and there have been days where it
01:55 seemed like there was nowhere to turn.
01:56 And I have lost many of my partners and friends too.
01:58 Drug addiction and that is not enough to change us.
02:01 Prison itself does not heal us.
02:05 We can go to prison and spend years incarcerated,
02:08 and that is not enough to fix us.
02:10 You know, that is why our prison rate is like 80 percent
02:13 that we return to prison.
02:15 Because the prison system, locking us up and throwing
02:17 the key away doesn't change your heart.
02:19 And that is a problem that I see in society.
02:22 In my life they tried medicating me as a young
02:26 child to predict my behavior.
02:28 So tell us who you were as a young child, because it
02:32 doesn't start where you just walk in a prison.
02:34 As a young child I want to say that the first few years of
02:37 my life, I was a raised a lot by my
02:41 grandmother and my aunt.
02:42 Where was your Dad?
02:44 We lived in Chicago, and we spent my summers
02:47 down there that is where I got my greater part of
02:48 Christianity was from my grandmother and aunt.
02:50 I remember those days.
02:52 Training as a child, you don't forget.
02:54 Before I was in first grade, I remember
02:58 two miracles in my life.
02:59 We were out making straw in the field,
03:02 and I had lost my glasses.
03:04 And my mother after about a half an hour
03:06 she said, let's pray.
03:07 And so we all get down in the field and we have
03:09 prayer that they would find my glasses, because I
03:12 couldn't see without them.
03:13 Just a few moments later there they were.
03:16 So that increased my faith in Jesus as a little boy.
03:19 And then one time when my brother and I was playing
03:21 in a tall corn field, and we were lost.
03:24 We're done playing, and in an 80 acre field.
03:26 We wanted to go home and could not find our way out.
03:29 And I said let's pray.
03:31 You said that - yeah!
03:32 My brother and I kneeled down in the cornfield
03:34 and we prayed.
03:35 And the next way we went that was the way out.
03:37 So I believed in Jesus from a little boy.
03:41 But by the time I was in first grade I had
03:45 been robbed in Chicago.
03:46 I had been robbed, they stole my little nickels and
03:49 balloons, so I had been robbed.
03:50 You personally got robbed.
03:52 I personally got robbed.
03:53 Oh shut up you're like in the first grade.
03:55 I wasn't even in first grade yet.
03:57 We lived in a high-rise apartment complex in Chicago.
04:01 I had went down to the sidewalk to meet my brother
04:04 get off the bus.
04:05 My mother told me never to go under the viaduct.
04:07 I went under the viaduct, were she couldn't see me,
04:09 and these guys came and they said you have
04:13 anything in that toolbox?
04:14 I had a little tool box with me,
04:15 And they said to you have anything in that toolbox?
04:17 yeah, I've got a couple nickels and some balloons.
04:19 They said there's a guy is going to come and rob
04:21 you so give it here.
04:22 So I sit my toolbox down and I opened it up,
04:23 I gave it to him, he busted me in my stomach and
04:25 took off with the balloons in the nickels.
04:27 He hits you even, Oh!
04:28 So I was robbed before I was in first grade.
04:31 And what is really for a lot of people they don't
04:35 understand that some places you're raised and that's
04:37 just what happens.
04:39 Day in and day out - day in and day out.
04:40 There were a lot gang type people that hung
04:44 around our apartment building.
04:45 One day we were coming out of the apartment with my mom.
04:47 She had two children, one in each hand
04:49 that I can remember.
04:50 She said, don't look back.
04:52 And we left that apartment and all these people were out
04:54 there, and I turned to look back.
04:55 I smiled at this guy and he smiled back.
04:59 So I knew that these people that my mom were afraid of,
05:02 that there were something in their heart too.
05:05 So, that was a blessing as a young boy.
05:06 I was introduced to sexual things before
05:11 I was in first grade.
05:12 That encounter inspired me then, it set me on the wrong
05:17 road in life because that's what I was seeking for.
05:19 It awoken all the sexual stuff, in you
05:22 - which shouldn't be awoken yet.
05:24 No it shouldn't be.
05:25 First grade seem like it went relatively well.
05:28 I was thinking I was still a happy kid in first grade,
05:31 but by the time I was in second grade, the teacher
05:33 was tying me in my seat with a jump rope.
05:35 I mean taking a jump rope and tying me fast in my seat
05:38 in school, because I was unmanageable.
05:41 For a second grader to be this unmanageable, it is
05:44 medication ain't going to do it.
05:47 I've seen psychiatrists-I can't imagine being tied down
05:50 with the humiliation with your friends.
05:52 I understand what she was trying to do, but as your
05:56 friends and your peers that must have been goofy.
05:59 It didn't work, I mean, it didn't work, it didn't
06:02 control my behavior.
06:03 I never got recess, and the only way I got my
06:06 homework done, is that I would go up to get the
06:08 teachers editions off the desk, because she was out
06:10 with the children with recess.
06:12 I would get my homework done ahead of time two or three
06:14 weeks ahead of time and one day she came back.
06:16 Got my book and she looked through it.
06:18 She didn't say a word she put it back.
06:19 I remember buying my first pack of cigarettes
06:22 in second grade.
06:24 They were thirty five cents, and I thought if I can
06:26 sell these for a nickel apiece, I'll make a dollar.
06:28 So that's started very young in my mind to
06:30 try to make money.
06:31 In a Christian school we got caught smoking cigarettes.
06:36 I was smoking cigarettes with a seventh grade girl.
06:38 We was out smoking cigarettes, I couldn't sell them.
06:40 I was giving them for her to smoke, and she
06:42 would give me candy.
06:43 So then I went to a stop smoking deal.
06:47 The principal said, in order to come back to school I
06:48 had to go to a five-day stop smoking plan, whatever.
06:50 So I said to my mom I really wasn't smoking, but I will go.
06:53 After the program there were police up there and
06:57 they showed all the parents all the things about drugs,
06:59 marijuana, what is this, what is that.
07:01 So I got an education on the uppers, downers,
07:05 what is this, what is that.
07:06 So, what I started hearing that stuff on the street,
07:08 that is what I sought after even though I didn't
07:10 know for sure what it was.
07:12 Because I had heard it I had gotten that understanding.
07:15 So even when you said, you heard it and literally enticed
07:22 you, rather than repulsed you?
07:24 Exactly-so it's like I have got to find
07:26 that that must be fun.
07:28 What is an upper, what is a downer.
07:29 So, I learned as a young boy, what I thought - what
07:36 kind of guy were you?
07:38 I mean is kid, were you angry, were you everybody's
07:42 friend, I mean, what kind of guy were you?
07:43 I never fit in anywhere.
07:45 I never fit in school, I had hardly any friends, I was
07:48 kicked out of every school maybe two times in a year.
07:51 I would go to one school or two schools in one year.
07:52 So you weren't there long enough to
07:54 connect with anybody?
07:55 No - really - no!
07:57 I got bullied when I was a little kid, I was fat and
08:00 couldn't do any push-ups, couldn't do any sit ups, I
08:02 didn't fit in nowhere.
08:04 And I wanted to fit in.
08:05 And you know, I didn't feel like I fit in real good
08:07 with the family, because my poor dad had to come down
08:10 to teachers conferences, come down to the jail, had to
08:12 send me to counseling, and all these issues.
08:14 So, I felt a real problem child, which I really was.
08:17 When you said down to jail, were you in juvenile hall too?
08:20 I mean did you start going into jail as a kid or a
08:24 I was on my way there, because I would
08:26 not obey my parents.
08:27 My dad couldn't beat it into me.
08:30 Because beating I grew up, do as I say, and finally
08:33 he said, if you don't want to respect the rules in my
08:36 house, you can get out.
08:37 And I said fine and at that point I left.
08:40 I don't know if I was sixteen years old,
08:41 right in that age somewhere.
08:44 So life at that point, I believe I already
08:48 found about alcohol.
08:49 That would stand down at the 7-Eleven, and I'd say
08:51 I'd buy you a six-pack if you'd buy me a six-pack.
08:53 I would drink three or four quick.
08:54 I'd go home and go to sleep, not meaning no harm,
08:57 just to make the pain of life go away.
09:00 And life shouldn't have been painful for me because I
09:02 a loving family, loving mother.
09:04 I used to take a razor blade, and like cut my arms, cut them.
09:08 I never knew why until I heard on one of your last shows
09:11 about a girl cutting herself on your last series.
09:15 It was Vickie Duffey.
09:16 I never understood, through that I was getting some type
09:18 of release, and I felt like the bad guy.
09:21 And I would tear up my room, I would trash my room.
09:23 I would break my guitar, break my lights.
09:25 I would just frustrate my grand parents, they would
09:27 give me gifts, underwear, socks,
09:29 and new clothes for Christmas.
09:30 I didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel
09:32 I was worth anything.
09:34 You know what's horrible, I think when I hear you speak,
09:36 is for a child they cannot figure out why is this.
09:40 Why don't I fit in.
09:41 Why don't I belong anywhere, we don't know why, we don't
09:45 have any idea about genetic
09:46 predispositions, or that you have a disorder, or that
09:50 you're hyperactivity or any of that kind of stuff.
09:53 I just know I don't fit in.
09:54 I just know that nobody wants me, I just know that when
09:57 I walk in the room everybody is like.
09:59 And it's like, how do I deal with that.
10:02 And so like you said, I just ripped things
10:04 up and I just broke things.
10:05 And that make you fit in less.
10:07 And then they send you to a psychiatrist, and tell you
10:10 well have a good week, keep your chin up, come back.
10:13 I felt like they did really care about me.
10:15 I mean, you go in there and sit down for an hour,
10:17 well, what are you thinking.
10:18 Well you're afraid to tell them what you are thinking
10:19 because then they want to lock you up or tell you that
10:21 you're really messed up.
10:22 And just as an example because I was a student one time
10:28 going into the mental health field.
10:30 So I was a student and they sent somebody like you and
10:32 fourteen years old.
10:34 I said to him, as a student I don't know anything, what
10:36 are you thinking, and he said, do you know I just want
10:38 to take a sledgehammer and bash somebody's face in.
10:41 And I'm like this student and I'm thinking, okay.
10:44 So it is like being able to say, that's what I feel,
10:47 but I know if I tell you that you're going to slam me
10:50 with the authorities and lock me up.
10:52 But how do you said to someone because I feel
10:55 inadequate, out of control.
10:56 Because when you say that I feel like I want to kill somebody,
10:58 not that I am going to, but that is what I feel like.
11:00 So what you do is you go back in your quiet and cut
11:03 yourself some more.
11:04 I remember as a young boy, I told my mom that I'm just
11:07 going to run away.
11:08 And she said, well I will help you pack your bags.
11:09 And I packed my suitcase and I got down to flights of stairs
11:13 and I thought, where am I going to run to.
11:15 So I had this in my life, work came from, I don't know.
11:19 As a little child, I just wanted to run away.
11:21 So that laid out something in my life,
11:24 I never wanted to be responsible.
11:26 Responsibility for me has been hard, along with
11:28 many of my friends and partners, drug addictions,
11:31 and alcoholism.
11:32 We don't know how to be responsible.
11:33 Once we get started down that road, responsibility seems
11:35 like something we do not know how to deal with.
11:37 However, just because I feel I understand you just
11:42 because of my own childhood.
11:43 The first time I did drugs were I really got high,
11:47 I didn't have any of that stress.
11:49 Do you have that sense, response?
11:51 Yeah, I was free.
11:52 Finally, for the first time, I found something that works.
11:54 Where I fit in, is I didn't fit in the school,
11:57 I didn't fit in society, I fit in when I began
12:01 to meet people with drugs.
12:03 I had the money they had the drugs, I began to sell
12:07 drugs for people so I finally fit in.
12:10 People will call me and I would go to see them,
12:14 So I felt like a little businessman.
12:16 I felt like hey, I can make this work.
12:17 So then, one day my mother was in the grocery
12:21 store, and she always had to put back the
12:24 groceries she couldn't really afford.
12:26 Like the extra things, I mean to get the bread and
12:28 the things that she needed, the necessities and if there was
12:30 enough money left she'd buy these few things.
12:32 And one day I was able to get my mother some money,
12:35 I said here mom, buy it all.
12:37 And she said where did you to get the money son?
12:39 I said mom, I worked for it.
12:41 And at that young age in my life, I thought that if I
12:44 could have enough money, money would take care of the problems
12:47 for the car, the house.
12:48 Money would fix the life's problems.
12:50 And you know what by the time I was eighteen years old.
12:53 I had thousands of dollars.
12:54 At my dad was right, he said son, if you don't
12:57 straighten up, you're going to be in prison by the time
13:00 you are eighteen years old.
13:01 And I had to cry, eighteen years old I had to cry and look
13:05 through that little window, and my dad was
13:07 sitting on other side.
13:08 I said Daddy, you're right, and I said I'm sorry.
13:11 So through all that our lives are so messed up an
13:14 unmanageable, as children, the psychiatrist in my
13:19 life did not have the answers.
13:20 In a medication that they gave me that said I
13:22 would have be on the rest of my life, that didn't
13:24 do the trick either.
13:25 So here I go off to prison as a young man unmanageable.
13:28 And I can't even imagine you sitting in prison now,
13:33 say now what, I mean, now, what?
13:35 What was prison life like and what was your crime.
13:39 Burglary, drugs, and arson.
13:42 And how long did you stay in?
13:45 I spent a year in the county jail and three years
13:47 in am maximum security prison.
13:49 What was that like, because that was a whole different
13:51 world, I whole different culture.
13:52 First of all, I would tell you I gave my lawyer
13:55 thousands of dollars.
13:56 He promised me he would get me to work camp,
13:58 I gave him thousands of dollars.
14:00 Here are I was let down again.
14:01 There went my money and they put me
14:03 in a maximum - security prison.
14:05 So when you walk into prison, you've got a little gold,
14:07 nice watch, and all the stuff from the world.
14:09 And all of a sudden all these people say gimme that, let
14:12 me buy that, than say man, you better get you a shank.
14:15 And I'm like man, you know, I found myself handcuffed.
14:19 For somebody that doesn't know what a shank is.
14:21 A shank is a weapon, homemade weapon to stab somebody
14:24 to defend yourself.
14:25 At that moment I was scared to death, because if
14:29 they are telling me I need this, I was scared to
14:31 go to bed tonight.
14:32 And in this world, you need to defend yourself.
14:36 You need to be able to do if something comes down.
14:39 You need to step up to the plate.
14:41 I found myself shackled and handcuffed to some guy I
14:45 didn't even know doing life in prison.
14:47 So we get off this bus at the back gate, the Indiana
14:50 reformatory, with a thirty foot wall and a gun tower.
14:53 I was just like unbelievable here we are.
14:56 Here you're eighteen, he's older doing life,
14:58 he has nothing to lose.
14:59 Nothing to lose - you better not say anything wrong.
15:02 I get into the prison there and I talked to my counselor
15:08 and got me a cell house and I didn't run with nobody.
15:12 I mean, I loved everybody, I mean, you're my friend.
15:15 It's like I say they've got lots of
15:17 little groups and clicks.
15:19 If I set on the black side of the chow hall or the white side.
15:22 It didn't matter to me, because we're all here together,
15:25 It was like college campus, yes, there was terrible
15:29 things that went on.
15:30 I was going to say you'd never been to college.
15:32 Because I'm thinking, I don't know if
15:34 it was like college campus.
15:36 I've never been to college, I should have
15:37 been graduated from college.
15:38 But in prison - it's a whole different kind of college.
15:41 There were people who lost their lives
15:43 during my incarceration.
15:44 There were people that got sexually abused.
15:46 There's lots of terrible issues that go on in prison,
15:49 but if you conduct yourself in a way, by God's grace,
15:55 prison, went well for me until the last year I was there.
16:01 Why what happened in the last year.
16:04 My brother got out, my brother and I went there on the
16:06 same charge, so we were in the same prison.
16:07 My brother got out before I did and I had this group of
16:10 inmates come up to me and they said, you need to either
16:13 start paying us, giving us sex, or get a man.
16:17 You get a man that you get hooked up with somebody who
16:19 looks out for you or whatever.
16:20 I was sick, I had stayed my cell that day for lunch.
16:23 Can I just say, because the people when I was homeless
16:28 for ten years, people I loved one in and out of prison.
16:30 When they went in they would come out so twisted that it
16:34 was almost like we had to help them heal from all the
16:38 damage that happened to them behind the bars.
16:40 It was that culture there was nothing, you didn't decide
16:43 whether you wanted to step into that or not.
16:45 You're in this, you are going to survive it
16:47 the best you can.
16:48 I was surprised at how wounded some of my friends were
16:52 when they came out.
16:53 It's crazy in prison.
16:54 You see two men rolling around on the playground,
16:57 I mean rolling and kissing and hugging.
16:59 Then you see people threatening people, and running
17:01 stores, extortion, yes they have drugs in prison, yes,
17:05 they make alcohol in prison.
17:06 So, those things are very, very real.
17:10 And we have a choice in or out of prison,
17:12 how we are going to live.
17:13 And I chose the wrong way when I was out here in society.
17:15 When I was in prison, yes, I sold drugs,
17:17 And yes I didn't do the right things.
17:19 My brother got out of prison a year before I did.
17:22 These guys come up and threatened me, told me I either
17:24 needed to get a man, start paying him or give him sex.
17:26 I said look, man, I've been here too long for that.
17:29 I said you need to take that stuff somewhere else.
17:31 And that evening they came back to me, I was outside of
17:34 my cell at this time, they came back to me and they told
17:36 me, do you remember what we were talking about?
17:38 I said yes I do, they said what are you going to do about it?
17:41 I turned and looked out the window and said not a thing.
17:44 And it beat me up so bad, I was three stories up and
17:49 they beat me so bad.
17:50 I went to the chow hall to see my friend, my friend is
17:55 from Gary's and he's been there for twenty some years,
17:57 been locked up many, many years.
17:58 He had stood up for me a few months before that.
18:01 I was all my work and he said, Vega. What's wrong?
18:05 I said why do you ask me what's wrong?
18:07 Because in prison, you don't tell people your problems,
18:09 because then they want to dig into your life and make
18:13 use of your problems.
18:14 So I said, why do you ask me what is wrong?
18:16 He said, because I don't see your smile, no more.
18:18 I said really, well, these dudes over there in H cell
18:22 are talking about taking my watch.
18:23 And he sent word over there, you all leave Vega alone.
18:26 Vega don't bother nobody, you all leave Vega alone,
18:28 so it got quiet, for a few months.
18:30 This thing came down so I got beat up in
18:33 a bad way in prison.
18:35 But something happen in prison Cheri, and that was I was
18:40 smart enough, I would read my Bible.
18:41 I had a wonderful lady that would write to me, she would
18:44 write to me every day and I would get this letter every
18:46 day that said, smile God loves you keep your chin up.
18:49 And that was an encouragement to me that somebody would
18:52 care about me, not for drugs, not for money, I'm in
18:55 prison, I haven't got anything left in my life anymore.
18:57 So, that was a daily encouragement to me.
19:00 It was a lifeline - a lifeline.
19:02 I would run, any time I got in the rec yard I'd run
19:06 three or four miles a day.
19:08 I would just run and think out side of that wall.
19:10 That's what kept me thinking in a positive way.
19:15 I never hoped to get out of prison, because I hoped for
19:19 probation, my bond reduction.
19:20 My hopes were always dashed, so I didn't
19:22 hope to get out of prison.
19:23 I figured if I would stab somebody or get stabbed,
19:26 I didn't know I was afraid to hope again.
19:28 But I thought I'm getting out of prison in about a year.
19:32 Can I just stay with that for a minute?
19:34 Because one of the things that I see a lot of people
19:37 including myself have to heal from,
19:39 is that you do stop hoping.
19:41 It's like when somebody says do you have
19:43 any dreams or anything.
19:44 It's like, what are you talking about.
19:46 It is as if you have a dream, somebody can take it so
19:48 you literally force yourself never to think that
19:52 you are going to get something.
19:53 Or that you going to be something.
19:55 or you're going to be able to arrive at something.
19:58 And the better you can do that,
20:00 the easier your life becomes.
20:03 Right you are protected by not sharing your dreams.
20:05 You just keep them to yourself.
20:07 You know to be when you even said that just then, I
20:10 remember the sadness of having most my life ever daring
20:14 to hope for something.
20:15 I wanted to say to you, Lem, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
20:19 It really is a horrible place to be, to know that I
20:23 don't dare ever dream anymore.
20:25 Because I don't want to hurt anymore.
20:27 It was about a year before a got out of prison, that I
20:31 said if I don't quit using drugs in here, I am not going
20:34 to quit the day I walk out that front door.
20:36 And I wanted to quit, I mean, I wanted to be a
20:40 productive member of society.
20:41 I wanted to be different than when I came in that back gate.
20:44 So I quit using drugs, but I continue to sell drugs.
20:47 The day that they finally released me -
20:50 I'm sorry I'm like what.
20:51 So still, you're doing business, this is what I do.
20:55 Make money for the commissary will I did it today.
20:59 I am not going to use it no more, I'm getting out here
21:01 about a year, I don't want to use them no more, but I
21:03 continue to sell them in the prison.
21:04 And the day they let me out, I mean my pass was coming
21:08 the next day to where I was going to be released,
21:10 and I still didn't even really hope it.
21:14 I gave all my stuff away and my partner
21:17 walked me up to the gate.
21:18 And they opened the first gate, and then the
21:21 second gate and then the third gate and the fourth gate
21:25 and Donna, which is now my wife, was sitting
21:28 there in the waiting room.
21:30 And I went Cheri, and I sit in that waiting room for
21:32 two or three hours.
21:34 I didn't even leave the prison because I was scared to
21:36 leave the prison.
21:38 Because if I step out, they are going to come
21:39 up with another crime.
21:40 I just didn't know, I mean, I was scared to go back out
21:42 to society because you come in at eighteen all messed
21:45 up, and how is it going to be now?
21:47 I remember going to the mall for the first time.
21:51 I walked down through the mall and I heard all this
21:53 beep, beep, beep, beep.
21:54 When I went to prison pinball machines was a big thing.
21:56 When I came out, there was no more pinball machines, it
21:58 was all this new computer stuff.
22:00 First thing I went to buy was shirt or something and they
22:03 went to scanned it.
22:04 I can't imagine the people let's been locked
22:06 up for years and years and years and years.
22:07 Cause things were different and you'd only been 4 years or so.
22:10 So through all that stuff, I grew up, I wanted what was
22:16 right when I got out of prison.
22:18 I tried to do the right thing.
22:21 I began to go to church, we got married about a year,
22:26 about months after I got out we got married.
22:29 You know my brain is stuck right now, because I'll just
22:35 tell you why it is stuck.
22:36 When somebody said to me when I was strung out on
22:38 heroine, just stop using it your life will be different.
22:41 I stopped using it and my life was not different.
22:43 I had all this junk still.
22:44 So how did you go from stepping out of the prison
22:47 to going to church.
22:49 Did you have a fallout from your character stuff
22:51 or your junk I mean.
22:54 No, I started going to church.
22:56 I wanted what was right, and I wanted this
22:58 junk to be cleaned up.
22:59 And I went to church and tried to do what was right.
23:02 But in my life I was it was still burden down.
23:05 It's still burden down and then you start taking nerve pills.
23:10 The doctor says you're getting married you need some
23:12 nerve pills or whatever, start again.
23:15 So, that just started an addiction all over again even
23:16 though it's not cocaine and heroin or alcohol.
23:18 And it feels legal because the doctor gave it to me.
23:20 You don't want to leave home without a little bottle of
23:22 pills because it is legal.
23:23 So then I began to take drugs back to the prison, to the
23:29 police to give to my partner sell in the prison.
23:31 Then the drug addiction just all started,
23:35 it just slammed down on me.
23:37 Can I ask you, you know, I'm not going to ask you this
23:40 next question until we come back from break.
23:42 And just to set you up for this is that I want to know
23:46 you and Donna get married, and how does she take all
23:51 this in, and how was that changed for her?
23:54 Especially when you said I went right back bringing
23:56 drugs to the prison.
23:57 So, we are going to go ahead and take a break,
23:58 but I want you to stay with us,
24:00 because it is absolutely amazing.
24:02 The next few steps of Lem's life is absolutely amazing.
24:06 Who he is right now is a man of God, it's cool,
24:10 it really is cool.
24:11 He is solid, and I am not saying perfect,
24:14 but solid in his recovery.
24:16 So we will be right back.
24:17 Stay with us you are going to be blessed!