Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Shannon Ethridge
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00031C
00:12 You know Shannon and I said goodbye and I was going
00:15 to let her go, but I have one more thing that
00:17 I want to so talk about.
00:18 I was amazed in my own recovery, my own sexual healing of
00:24 how God has changed me from how I felt so
00:27 not good enough.
00:29 So ugly and so ashamed of who I was, to I feel so amazing
00:32 as a woman of God standing in the presence of a Holy God
00:36 and just thinking I belong here.
00:38 I want you to talk about that, how was that for you and what
00:41 kind of things can people look forward to in recovery?
00:44 I remember before recovery, just how I was
00:48 such a driven person.
00:49 And I felt like I had to earn people's attention and
00:53 affection, and it was just all about on a treadmill.
00:56 Just trying to earn and perform, perform, perform
00:59 keep the mask in place and all that.
01:01 But I remember that when I was at home by myself,
01:04 or with my kids.
01:05 Just that deep sense of depression.
01:07 It was like this dark cloud around me all the time I
01:10 remember pulling the covers up over my head and praying Lord,
01:13 just let them sleep thirty more minutes or Lord just let them
01:15 watch one more Barney tape.
01:17 I just could not function.
01:19 I only went out of the house when I absolutely had to.
01:22 I didn't understand that this is depression that is caused
01:25 by unresolved stuff.
01:27 If you just resolve it, then the light will come on,
01:30 the joy will return.
01:32 I would never want to go back, there and you know people
01:34 sometimes ask me, aren't you afraid you will stumble and
01:37 fall back into that?
01:38 Well know I'm cautious, because the Bible says that we need
01:41 to be wise that way.
01:42 But I would never choose to go back there again.
01:45 I know I know how wonderful recovery feels, I know how it
01:49 feels to be sexually confident wife and to enjoy an intimate,
01:52 passionate, romantic encounter with my husband.
01:55 I would never go back to the cheap stuff.
01:56 It's like what you've had Filet Mignon, why would you eat
01:59 stale or week-old hamburger?
02:01 Because being present and knowing who you are and
02:04 enjoying who you are sensually, sexually and all that
02:06 kind of stuff is incredible.
02:08 And I am not even talking about just the intimate act.
02:10 I'm talking about the relationship and standing there
02:13 as a woman of God and confident in who you are.
02:15 And it's your relationship with everyone in your life with
02:18 your children, with your husband, with your friends, with
02:20 your church, with God.
02:21 Everything is transformed when you put it all, like you
02:24 said, when you put it out there on the table for healing.
02:26 I remember driving down this street one day.
02:28 I'm driving down the street saying God, you know, I just
02:31 turned 50, and I want to figure out, I want somebody to
02:34 look at me and tell me I'm cute or flirt with me.
02:37 I'm married, so God is like Hon, I can't do that for you.
02:41 As He is talking to me the Holy Spirit, I pass this sign
02:44 on the side of the road, and there is this incredibly good
02:46 looking insurance guy, where the make the eyes look like
02:49 they follow every car, and he is smiling.
02:51 I hear the Holy Spirit, and I look at the sign I hear the
02:54 Holy Spirit say that's the best I can do for you.
02:56 How is that!
02:58 So, I think even God laughs at our journey as we get
03:01 through all this kindof stuff and let it fall from us.
03:04 He kind of smiles with us and He loves us, but He's saying
03:07 He'll do it, because as you get done with this you are not
03:10 going to look for billboards to smile at you.
03:12 Or people to flirt with you which means nothing.
03:15 You are actually going to feel present and enjoy the intimate
03:19 relationships in your life.
03:20 Friends, church people, definitely husband's, children,
03:24 I think when we don't heal sexually we can't even really
03:28 love our children, as we should.
03:30 Right, it's like we get the attention and affection we
03:33 craved, but it's in a much healthier form.
03:35 It's something we can be proud of, not something that
03:38 we have to hide from other people.
03:39 When someone says, and again, I just think you for answering
03:42 that when somebody says to me that Cheri, you just look
03:46 like you love God, and there is so much joy and
03:50 I think you know.
03:51 It is that God has taken all the junk you know,
03:55 I have said before on another show if you have skeletons
03:57 in your closets, take them out, teach them to dance,
04:00 because they are not going to go away,
04:03 and it means everything.
04:04 It means that the twisted stuff that we learned before
04:07 we learn to speak sometimes for some of us and the junk
04:10 we have learned in relationships and how freely we kind
04:13 of give ourselves in relationships and friendships
04:17 and what ever to each other and how God.
04:20 Just so, I think it grieves God, because He knows, and Shannon,
04:24 you covered this in one of your books about the woman at the
04:28 well is God meets this women that has had five marriages,
04:32 she is not married to the person that she's lived with.
04:35 He never looked at her in shame.
04:36 He just said, you know what come and heal here,
04:40 drink from this water.
04:42 Let me teach you what it feels like to be a woman,
04:45 to be well to be healed.
04:47 And you will never go back to that, you'll never seek
04:50 this from someone else.
04:51 That hole in your heart that is so huge and so empty,
04:54 it will never be empty again and it will be filled with
04:58 the only person that can fill it and that is God Himself
05:01 through the Holy Spirit.
05:02 And I just beg you to give God a chance.
05:05 Let him come in, and even slowly.
05:08 If the only thing I can say to Him one day is you know what,
05:11 I'm kind of a mess.
05:12 You know all of heaven would be cracking up,
05:14 but He'll let you go there.
05:17 And I'm kind of a mess and I might need a little healing,
05:20 and He says okay, we'll start there, then as you are able to
05:24 share with Him more of the serious things.
05:26 Definitely the early molesting was hard for me to
05:28 bring to the table.
05:29 The significance of that, the young relationships that were
05:32 so young were hard, but at every single thing,
05:35 He said, you know what I'm glad you brought that up because
05:37 I have a feeling here that is some believable and so for
05:40 one I want to say trust God trust God in every single
05:43 shadow, in every single dark place in your life, every single
05:46 shameful thing you have in your life and I beg you,
05:50 just give Him a chance and remember, see you next time,
05:53 but always remember till then that God is crazy about you,
05:56 I'm crazy about you.
05:57 Stay true to your recovery bye, bye!