Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Adam & Rayne Hamilton
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000124A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:10 You know there are times 00:11 that I just want to kiss God on the face. 00:13 I love how He steps into the craziest situation 00:17 and brings grace and recovery and hope. 00:20 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:21 My name is Cheri, come join us in the cafe. 00:50 Welcome, you know, 00:52 I thought about this program today, 00:54 we're gonna do it little bit different. 00:57 We have no one at the cafe, 00:59 I'm just having some friends come in, 01:01 and it is one of the hardest and most scariest programs 01:04 I've ever done. 01:05 And I think for a couple reasons, 01:07 I ask my friend Rayne and Adam 01:09 to come in and do the program with me, 01:11 they... 01:12 If you ask them they would say they don't even know 01:14 where they are spiritually, 01:16 they are a mess and all that kind of stuff. 01:17 So please don't, don't expect anything in that way, 01:22 because today we're taking about the grace of God. 01:25 Does God know who we are? 01:26 Does God step in to our lives, 01:29 all along the way and say 01:30 "I've known you since the foundation of the world 01:32 and I will get you home, I will get you standing up." 01:36 But before I introduce Rayne and Adam, 01:39 is I want you to say a couple things of about 01:42 what happened this week to set this program up. 01:44 Is that okay? 01:45 Absolutely Okay. 01:47 So in the last couple of weeks, 01:49 I went to another state and did a prison ministry 01:53 and it was really fun 01:54 because I'm doing a women's prison 01:56 and I just called that you know 01:58 women's retreat behind bars, 02:00 and they gave me three hours, two days in a row, 02:03 right, which is crazy, you just never get that. 02:06 So I'm working with a group for women, 02:07 I feel like I'm working with my family, 02:09 you know, I know exactly, you know, where they are at, 02:14 and a lot of them have crimes that are intense. 02:17 They are walking around with stuff 02:18 that they are ashamed of, 02:20 things in their life that have plagued them, 02:22 maybe even from the womb, 02:24 I mean it's just crazy to work with these women. 02:26 And I watch one after another start to really get the fact 02:31 that what if grace is true, 02:33 what if God is crazy about us, 02:36 what if I can step into a relationship with God 02:40 and know that He knows all of that 02:42 and I am forgiven and I am loved. 02:44 So we start talking about this and there is one woman 02:47 that is in the audience and the guards, 02:51 the guards and the volunteer coordinator 02:53 everybody is saying, you know what, 02:55 if she does anything, 02:57 we're removing her from the room. 02:59 And I'm thinking what's up with that. 03:01 And they say, she has just been... 03:03 She is hard, she is hard to deal with, 03:06 she is angry, she is always inciting things. 03:09 If she says anything, if she is disrespectful 03:12 or whatever, you know, she out of here. 03:14 And so I'm thinking 03:16 how can I make sure that doesn't happen 03:18 because I know she needs to be there, 03:20 I mean if she is that out of control, 03:22 she needs to be there. 03:23 And so, Rayne, you would love this. 03:25 So I start talking 03:26 and I'm gonna do an example of something in my life 03:31 and I grabbed her like, by the throat, 03:33 and lifted her up and then kind of threw her back in her seat 03:36 and she looked at me like, 03:40 what do you just do? 03:41 I like you. And I'm... 03:43 I like you that's exactly what she said, 03:45 It's like what did you just do? 03:47 And her and I started to have a little bit of a rapport. 03:50 And so the first day we're just setting up on who is God 03:54 and what is forgiveness about 03:56 and what does he think about us, 03:57 and all of that kind of stuff, and really going to the point 04:00 that if I don't get rid of this anger and bitterness, 04:02 if I don't surrender this, 04:04 it will destroy me, it will destroy me, 04:07 everything in me, I just won't make it. 04:10 And so, I'm trying to get all of the women, 04:13 but her in particular to look at the fact 04:15 that you've got to surrender this stuff. 04:16 You've got to somehow step over that line and just say, 04:21 I'm not saying anybody is innocent or guilty, 04:23 I'm just surrendering this, 04:25 I'm gonna give this to God, 04:26 and accept the grace that he has for me. 04:28 So the next day, we do this whole thing 04:31 about the worksheets on forgiveness and whatever, 04:33 and she starts crying. 04:34 Because everybody is saying, 04:36 you know what I did this forgiveness last night 04:37 and forgave my uncle who molested me 04:40 or my mother who laughed or my husband who beat me, 04:43 I mean, all of that kind of stuff. 04:45 And they're all working on issues 04:46 and I feel so light and free 04:49 and I'm watching all this healing 04:50 and she starts sobbing. 04:52 I don't feel any of that she says, 04:54 I don't feel any of that. 04:56 In fact I feel angry and I feel like 04:59 I don't even want to hear what someone else got, 05:03 the fact that it worked for them, 05:04 because I'm not feeling any of that 05:05 and I'm not forgiving anybody, 05:08 I'm not forgiving anybody. 05:10 And it was so heavy and it was so intense 05:13 that I got on my knees in front of her 05:15 and I just held her hands and I said 05:17 "My fear is, you will die with this anger 05:20 if you don't forgive. 05:22 I'm not saying they're right, 05:23 I'm not saying your life was fair. 05:25 I'm just saying you gonna die with this 05:26 if you don't give it up." 05:28 And she started crying and she is like, 05:30 I don't how to give it up, 05:31 how about just say that, 05:33 how about just come to God and say that, 05:35 I don't know how to do it 05:37 and she did and the whole room... 05:40 healing, it was like a wave of healing 05:43 that went through this entire room. 05:44 I watched her body change, 05:46 I watched the counselor 05:48 who was a non Christian counselor, 05:50 hates the fact that Christians groups come in 05:51 and I'm definitely faith based, 05:53 I'm crazy about God and so, 05:55 she hates the fact that groups come in talking about God. 05:58 And she was in tears, she's in tears 06:01 and I'm thinking, shut up! 06:02 How fun is that, 06:04 this woman couldn't even hardly hold herself in. 06:07 So then the volunteer coordinator says 06:10 how do want to end this? 06:11 And I want to just say forgive me for anybody 06:14 that has a hard time with this 06:16 but I say can we do an anointing for healing, 06:19 because these people have some serious injuries, 06:22 psychological injurious, 06:23 pain that they have brought their whole life, 06:25 crimes that they have done that they've caused pain. 06:27 I mean they really need to look at grace and forgiveness. 06:30 Can we do an anointing? 06:32 And I had to pull the pastor in 06:34 and all that kind of stuff to do this anointing 06:35 and about 25 women got anointed, 06:38 including this woman that was so angry. 06:40 And so what I want to say about today's program, 06:42 we're gonna look at grace, 06:44 and we're gonna look at grace in a way 06:46 that I'm not gonna apologize for God at all, 06:49 he loves us. 06:51 I mean some of you and some of you even watching 06:55 have done things that are crazy. 06:58 The shame that you walk around with is intense. 07:01 You know exactly who you are, 07:03 you know exactly what you have done. 07:04 Some of you haven't, 07:06 some of you had things done to you 07:07 that are so intense but we're all, 07:09 we're walking around in such bondage. 07:11 And we come to a God that says "Man, I know all of that." 07:16 Romans 5 is my favorite one 07:18 and we're gonna stay with this almost all season. 07:20 But Romans 5 when, you know, 07:23 God was talking about the fact that... 07:26 for when you were without strength, 07:29 when you were powerless, 07:30 when you didn't have the ability 07:32 to even respond to what I'm offering you, 07:34 the love and grace I'm offering you, 07:36 I died for you. 07:37 When you hated me, when you were slamming heroin, 07:40 when you were out there running and lying 07:42 and doing all that kind of stuff, 07:44 I died for you then. 07:45 This, you got to get that, 07:49 that grace is absolutely what saves us, 07:52 everything else comes later but grace we have to get. 07:56 So we are gonna be talking about that 07:57 and I'm so excited. 07:58 So now I'm gonna introduce you, um, 08:01 Rayne, you know that I love you. 08:03 I love you. 08:05 I loved you forever, we met how long ago? 08:09 Twelve years ago. 08:11 Yeah. 08:12 Tell this story about the first prison 08:14 we went into together. 08:17 We were doing prison ministries 08:19 in the juvenile facilities around Kansas 08:22 and we went to the facility in Topeka, 08:24 where I live now. 08:25 Oh, wait and you know what I got to say no that's, 08:27 no that's perfect but the fact is, 08:31 when we first met, you said to me, 08:35 do you do prison ministry? 08:36 Because I want you go into the prison with me. 08:39 And I remember saying the craziest thing, 08:41 I shall never says this to you again, 08:43 is I said "You set it up 08:45 and I'll go into as many as you want." 08:47 And I think we went to every prison in Kansas 08:49 We went to very juvenile facility in Kansas, 08:51 that was a challenge, but we did it, 08:54 that was pretty cool. 08:55 So when we into the... 08:57 we were getting ready to go into the one 08:59 and we were like an hour away 09:03 from where we were staying in, remember? 09:04 And you left your ID. 09:07 I had no, no, identification at all. 09:09 You had none. 09:11 You were just sitting in the car 09:12 and you're looking through your purse 09:13 and you are like, Oh! 09:15 And you just didn't have anything, 09:16 and you and I both know, 09:19 you don't get in without identity, 09:21 we might as well just turn around and leave 09:24 and I was ready to back out you're like, 09:25 no wait, we're just gonna pray about it 09:27 and we're just gonna go in. 09:28 Okay, let's go. 09:30 It was the craziest moment 09:32 because I knew I looked at you 09:34 and I thought you know what, 09:37 not only is this important for whoever is gonna be in there 09:39 but it was important for you. 09:41 And to me, I felt that with everything in me 09:44 and I said God, you cannot let 09:46 the fact that I don't have ID stop this, 09:48 and I remember just praying like crazy. 09:51 Yeah. 09:52 And we got out of the car and walked in like, 09:54 that was ridiculous, who does that. 09:56 It wasn't gonna happen, we weren't going in. 09:58 So we go in and they are checking my ID 10:01 and the other lady's ID 10:03 and you're just chatting away with the guard 10:06 like no big deal, nothing, 10:08 and they just let us in, they never even 10:10 asked you for your ID, that's just not... 10:14 that doesn't happen. 10:16 It was so interesting. 10:17 To me when we got in there, 10:18 one of the things that I think was amazing to me is 10:22 how freely you give your testimony to people 10:26 that you want to help. 10:28 And so I want to ask you to start out a little bit 10:31 with who are you? 10:35 You know what's your story, what's your journey? 10:37 'Cause like I said spiritually you're saying 10:40 I'm all over the board. 10:44 I was born disabled, 10:48 my mom had a really hard time with taking of care me 10:50 because she has a bunch of her own junk. 10:54 My dad went to prison when I was one 10:56 and he's still there and I was raised... 10:58 The whole time he's not been out... 11:00 Never. 11:01 And back in, he is been in the whole time. 11:03 Yeah. 11:04 Other than when he escaped. When he escaped, but yeah. 11:09 Since I was one and then my grandparents stepped in 11:12 when I was like three or four and adopted me 11:15 and a huge generation gap and just... 11:20 I mean they did their best, 11:21 they had the best of intensions, 11:23 but it was kind of a rough, 11:24 especially once I became a teenager. 11:27 And they just, they loved me so much 11:29 and they wanted to, you know, 11:31 raise me the best that they could and protect me, 11:33 but they just, I think, 11:35 they just kind of had the wrong idea. 11:36 They tried to, you know, 11:38 treat me from my disability 11:40 instead of a 17 year old normal girl. 11:44 If you, if you had to explain that to someone 11:46 because I don't think abled folks realize 11:48 how ignorant we are sometimes with what we say, 11:52 you know, so when you just said that 11:54 they tried to treat me in my disability, 11:57 instead of like a 17 year old. 11:58 What do you mean? 12:00 I mean I just think they wanted to protect me 12:02 because I mean, to them or to other people 12:06 I'm fragile, and to me I'm like, 12:09 I'm just a normal 17 year girl 12:11 because you just let me go out with my friends. 12:13 And I mean I couldn't go out past dark 12:16 in the winter time that's 5 o'clock 12:18 and the first thing when you're in high school 12:20 that's stupid, that's just insane. 12:23 So, you rebelled against all of that? 12:24 Oh, man, I was out to just prove 12:26 I was everything that no one would expect me to be. 12:30 Yeah, and then when I first... 12:31 when I first met you and you said, 12:32 you know, I'm sneaking out of the house 12:34 and I'm, you know, going out 12:35 and smoking weed and hanging out with friends 12:37 and all of that kind of stuff. 12:39 For you to sneak out of the house 12:40 was not the easiest thing. 12:41 I did it. 12:43 I stole the car a couple times, 12:45 I mean... I just... 12:48 I was gonna prove that I was gonna do 12:49 whatever it was I wanted to do... 12:51 I'm no different than anyone else. 12:52 Yeah. 12:54 And may be that wouldn't have been that way 12:55 had they just treated me like a normal teenager 12:57 but I just had to prove myself 13:00 and it just turned out the wrong way to prove myself. 13:05 Did you ever 'cause you said they had, they had a... 13:08 they were introverts, 13:09 they were probably a little bit 13:11 even more hyper religious, you know... 13:14 Yeah. 13:15 It's just that I mean that generation 13:17 Because we talk about religious addictions 13:18 and that whole generation thing 13:20 is that you were talking may be some of that stuff even. 13:22 Yeah, I mean you know my grandma loves God 13:27 and that we're supposed to love God 13:30 with all our soul and heart and mind 13:32 and that he supposed to be number one 13:34 and that's good but she took it to a different level 13:37 were she loved her religion like more than me. 13:42 And I don't think that's okay, 13:44 you know, and that's what she did it to my mom too... 13:46 That's a powerful statement because your mom ended up 13:51 totally rebelling and pushing away from all of that too. 13:54 Oh, yeah, it was bad for her too. 13:57 So when, when we met, 14:00 you were with it really abusive relationship. 14:03 Yeah. 14:04 I got married when I was 22, 14:08 we had Jaden and when I met him, 14:13 he was like this great guy, 14:14 you know like I would have never imagined 14:17 he would do anything terrible. 14:19 And then after and he, 14:21 our relationship was fine in the beginning 14:24 and then through my pregnancy with Jaden 14:26 and it wasn't until after I had Jaden, 14:28 and then he started being abusive, 14:29 and then by then I'm like it's too late, 14:31 you have a kid you're married. 14:34 I mean I had no inclination that he was gonna be abusive 14:37 whatsoever, so I was just stuck... 14:40 Didn't talk to anyone, didn't tell anyone? 14:42 No. 14:43 You didn't tell me. 14:45 And I was in it when I met you. 14:48 Yeah, because I found out after everything fell apart. 14:51 And it was a big shock to everyone 14:53 that knew us like what, 14:56 no way and that would... 14:58 like people don't even believe me, 15:00 some people including my own family, 15:02 they actually took him in when we split up 15:05 and then I was the wayward one 15:07 and I'm like... 15:09 Are you kidding me? 15:10 But you know with, with, 15:12 with some abuse like I work with a lot of people 15:15 that I love that are in really abusive relationships and, 15:18 and that all plays out and it does, 15:21 it looks like it's their fault 15:22 and why didn't, you know, tell anybody, 15:24 it couldn't be that bad, 15:25 you need to just hang in there... 15:26 I still felt for me. 15:28 But you had a knife to your throat at one point, 15:30 so you know it was the fact that he wanted to kill, 15:34 not only you but Jaden. 15:36 And Hannah. And Hannah. 15:37 So, I mean he turned around and looked at them 15:41 because he kept telling me 15:42 when he grabbed us up and put us in the truck. 15:45 He was like, I'm just gonna kill us all 15:46 and I'm like, you know, 15:48 of everything he was a good dad. 15:51 I mean he was not good to me 15:52 and our relationship was craziness 15:54 but he loved his kids and he was a good dad. 15:57 And I was like, I just got to get him to focus 15:59 and I was like turn around and look at your babies, 16:02 your babies are in it, 16:04 let's go take them back to house 16:05 and you can do whatever you want with me. 16:07 But just look at your babies that are in the truck 16:09 and he looked at Jaden in the backseat 16:12 and I said I'm gonna kill us and he told Jaden that. 16:15 Jaden remembers that till this day. 16:17 And he was young. He was five. 16:20 Five years old. 16:23 Man! 16:24 So, you know, to me the reason 16:25 I just want to start with who are you, 16:28 because that's not what 16:30 this program is gonna be about today, 16:32 but I want to say is sometimes 16:35 we forget that God is following us 16:37 from years of damage, 16:40 you know, sometimes it's years of craziness, 16:42 it's years of may be having... 16:45 I think we have an enemy 16:47 and I think the devil is strategically 16:49 going after us sometimes 16:50 and strategically he is telling one lie after another, 16:53 after another, after another 16:55 and grace or God has to get through all of those lives 17:01 and say I promise you this was not my fault. 17:04 So even at the time when you are walking away 17:08 from that crazy relationship, your dad imprisoned, 17:11 your mom is really not been able to be there for you, 17:14 grandparents are at this time 17:16 not even a kind of cognitively still there. 17:22 What did you think of God? 17:23 I mean what was that, that sense of God at that time? 17:27 I wasn't... 17:29 he just wasn't there and I wasn't good enough, 17:32 I wasn't good enough to keep a marriage together, 17:35 I wasn't good enough for my kids and I just... 17:40 I wasn't good enough for God, so he just wasn't there. 17:44 I just want to cry when you say that 17:45 because I love you, you know, 17:47 and I know that for a long time 17:49 you felt that I just wasn't enough. 17:52 You know I pray that after this program 17:54 no one will ever feel that. 17:55 I just hope that we say that really loud, 17:58 loud, it's not about that we are enough. 18:01 So now I want to ask you, 18:03 how you met Adam and then, Adam, 18:05 I'd like you to say a little bit 18:07 about your background? 18:08 Okay. Okay. 18:10 So, this is crazy 18:11 because it's like the first time 18:12 I ever honestly told anybody 18:14 how I met you right at the first. 18:16 So you're gonna be honest. 18:17 I'd love that only on Celebrating Life, all right. 18:21 Because you know what, it is we heard that we can say 18:24 and I believe this more on this program than a lot, 18:30 is man, if we're not gonna be honest now, 18:32 let's not even say it 18:33 because there are people that just say 18:35 please don't just give me a Bible text, 18:37 because I need something to hold on to. 18:44 I was working and I was in the middle of my divorce 18:47 and I just have, I had a, 18:49 I mean I felt like a cool group of friends, 18:51 they accepted me and they were good to me 18:54 and one of my favorite friends, 18:57 he had this buddy, Hamilton 19:00 and they lived in a halfway house together, 19:02 because they'd both just gotten out of prison. 19:05 And he was always talking about his friend Hamilton. 19:07 That's exactly where I go to date, 19:11 I'm sorry, I just had to say that, 19:13 a halfway house, are you kidding me, 19:15 you know, but you know what, 19:16 that's how crazy our life gets, 19:18 it make sense for some reason it makes sense, 19:21 but I just had to interrupt, I'm sorry. 19:22 Don't... yeah, don't... 19:24 that's not where you want to find 19:25 someone to date for sure. 19:27 I often wonder how I'm gonna explain that to my kids. 19:29 Well, look where your found daddy, 19:32 I don't... 19:34 I'd like to meet her parents, are you kidding me. 19:36 You found dad at a halfway house. 19:37 Yeah, all right go head. 19:39 It is gonna be tough. 19:41 Yeah. 19:42 So, he just always talked about his buddy Hamilton, 19:45 for like weeks, 19:46 I probably hadn't met him yet. 19:48 So I knew all about him 19:49 and I knew why he'd been in prison 19:52 and I just... I'm... 19:54 my dad's in prison and I've done stupid... 19:56 I'm just like really non-judgmental 19:58 about that kind of stuff really. 19:59 And you're back drinking, back partying, 20:00 back hanging out. 20:02 Oh, yeah. 20:03 So it's not and I just had to set the stage 20:05 because with all of that, 20:06 your are in the back and amidst of that craziness. 20:10 Oh, I was a mess. 20:12 I was a real big mess. 20:13 Was God there? 20:14 I mean not in my mind, but yes. 20:16 And so... I just... 20:18 because, you know, 20:19 this for me this whole thing is, 20:21 I don't know why but God was there. 20:24 You know and that amazes me 20:26 about the gospel and who God is, 20:29 is that we can be in the midst of that, 20:30 everything else in us as we're lost 20:34 and God says wait, stop and turn around, 20:38 I'm right here, I'm right here. 20:40 And you can see that in retrospect 20:42 when you look back, but when you're in it, 20:44 it doesn't feel like it, it doesn't, 20:46 you can't see him because you're just too... 20:49 I was, I was just way too out of it. 20:53 So you got a friend Hamilton in the halfway house, 20:56 you're saying whatever. 20:58 Yeah, I'm just, I don't even care 20:59 and then I met him 21:01 and like I had this vision of like some 21:04 just old goofy looking guy that I don't know, 21:08 but it wasn't him... 21:10 Take you on. 21:13 And then when I met him, I was just like, 21:15 I mean, there was just something about him 21:17 and he's got this charisma about him, 21:21 and... 21:24 he... 21:26 I don't know, what did it for me was Hannah. 21:30 She did not like strangers or anyone she didn't know 21:34 and the first time he came in our house 21:36 she climbed up in his lap and just like in his lap 21:42 and she wouldn't that. 21:43 She wouldn't even do it to Jeff, 21:45 the one that introduced me to Adam... 21:48 Friends that she knew. 21:49 And she didn't like him, 21:51 like she wouldn't be 21:52 affectionate towards him at all. 21:53 And she climbed right up in his lap 21:55 and just snuggled him, 21:56 while I was making Theraflu because he was sick. 22:00 And I was just... 22:01 I came out of bathroom and stood in the hallway 22:04 and I could just see right where they were sitting 22:05 and she was just curled up in his lap 22:07 and I was like, Whoa! 22:09 she doesn't do that to anybody 22:11 and that was like the first like-thing 22:13 that just triggered... 22:14 That's really funny 22:16 because I liked you from the very beginning too, 22:17 I just have to say. 22:19 So you end up saying who is this guy, he's funny. 22:25 I mean I didn't really give it much of a second thought, 22:27 he was just a funny, cool guy 22:29 and he was really fun to hangout with and I can't, 22:33 I mean I just fell for him. 22:36 So now I'm gonna go to you, Adam, 22:38 and just say we're gonna get back to what happen next, 22:43 but how did you grow up and what was your life like? 22:46 Who are you, were you... 22:48 and I think you didn't have any kind of spiritual 22:53 or Christianity in your home, right? 22:55 No, the only spiritual Christianity 22:57 I had was visit my grandma, 22:59 which I probably seen her once a year 23:01 for a weekend and she would take me to church. 23:04 Growing up, my parents worked hard, 23:07 my mom was a nurse, 23:08 my dad was a store manager for Walmart or Alcos 23:11 or even Chelsea's palace before it closed. 23:14 So I didn't see him very much. 23:17 My mom drink a lot, my dad was a workaholic 23:21 always searching for that... 23:24 how to make money, so he was investing in... 23:27 So, he was gone a lot. Yeah. 23:29 Mom was drinking. Yeah. 23:30 And when you say drink a lot 23:32 because I don't think normal people understand 23:34 what the heck that means, you know, what does it mean? 23:36 Then it was a Molokos best, 30 pack every night. 23:41 Wow. Yeah. 23:45 yeah and she would just sit at the table, 23:47 all night long just drinking 23:48 and she would get into arguments 23:50 with my older brother, 23:53 sometimes say mean things to us 23:55 and would even be diabetic and sometimes 23:57 he'd beat her bad and she would say 23:59 something pretty mean.. 24:00 So, he was dealing with some pretty serious diabetes. 24:02 Yeah, Type 1 yeah, 24:04 there was at least once a month 24:05 he was gone to the hospital, an ambulance was there. 24:08 And just because of... 24:10 and I'm sorry to do this 24:13 in the middle of you sharing with us, 24:15 but one of the things that a lot of people 24:17 don't realize is that when you got alcohol and drugs, 24:19 and you got people acting out in their addictions, 24:22 they do not know how to be there for the kids, 24:24 they just can't be there. 24:26 And studies even show like a small percentage, 24:29 they can and be there emotionally or intimately 24:32 like it less then ten percent, 24:34 and so then we wonder, 24:35 why as kids that we feel lost and starved. 24:38 Both my parents were addicts 24:40 and then my mom actually moved in another addict in 24:43 and I loved all of them, 24:45 but they could not be there for us in the same way 24:48 so your mom could not be there for you. 24:50 Yeah. 24:51 I loved her to death and yeah I think I agree 24:53 she couldn't and dad he was always working so... 24:56 So what did you do as a kid, 24:57 I mean because you have to eat, 24:59 did you get angry, did you rebel, 25:01 did you... I mean what did you do? 25:02 I was all over the place, 25:04 I mean pretty much some persons watches my brother 25:06 because my parents are out working till six, 25:08 so we go there and play football 25:09 with my brother and his friends or me 25:11 and another buddy of mine named Adam, getting mischief. 25:15 I mean live in the community in Mexico 25:18 and we've just ran wild, rocks at windows. 25:21 Breaking things. 25:23 Yeah, we love breaking bottles. 25:24 We find an old bottle, 25:26 we save them and take them to the park 25:27 and smash them on the ground because it's so cool. 25:30 Yeah. 25:33 And so you get into the high school. 25:38 Yeah, my parents get divorced 25:40 when I went to sixth grade, 25:42 my mom moved to Kansas 25:43 and I stayed with my dad's for about... 25:46 for a year and finally I go and visit my mom here in Kansas 25:50 and she remarries a sheriff of this town. 25:53 So I come visit them 25:54 and I fall in love with this small town. 25:56 Was she still drinking? 25:58 Yeah, little bit yeah, not as much no, not at all. 26:02 Because all of a sudden I see the sheriff's in town now 26:04 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 26:05 She might clean up some. 26:08 So when you... 26:09 if I say you know I could, 26:11 I could see just wild you know wild acting out, 26:16 were you a good student, were you...? 26:19 I had the mentality a D is a good degree 26:22 so, I mean, if I was passing with 60 enough 26:24 I was happy far as... 26:27 I mean it's sports and stuff but I was to party I mean, 26:31 I threw the party or hunt down the party, 26:34 drinking a lot in high school I mean I was... 26:37 Weekends was a bad deal, I was drinking a lot. 26:40 Okay, we're gonna break and we're gonna break 26:43 and come back but I want you to just think about... 26:46 because sometimes I don't think we think about, 26:48 you know, does God know who we are 26:52 when we start behaving and when we say yes 26:54 or when we start to kind of feel in that kind of sense 26:57 that I want to lean to God or does he know who we are, 27:00 since we're born, 27:02 from the very beginning, 27:03 and I think from the very beginning. 27:05 And so you've got these two people that I love, 27:08 so please been nice to them. 27:09 If you're feeling like judging anything right now, 27:12 just be nice of them if you are them, 27:15 I just want you to know that God sees you, 27:17 but just know that from the very beginning, 27:20 he is right there trying to woo us 27:22 into a relationship with him, 27:23 trying to get us to the point where we could start to look up 27:26 from all of the stuff long enough 27:28 to know there is an out, 27:30 there is a savior, there is redemption, 27:32 there is a... 27:34 there is grace. 27:35 And, man, it's nothing that we do, 27:37 it's given to us as a free gift. 27:38 So we'll be right back, stay with us and amen. 27:42 I just love this program but it scares me. |
Revised 2016-09-13